DUELMASTERS NEWSLETTER

Date   : 05/05/2003    Duedate: 05/17/2003

VALAMANTIS ARENA

DM-62    TURN-305

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

P.B. BLASTER
AS SEEN ON TV (361)
(62-3718) [13-5-2,109]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

P.B. BLASTER                   JIM DIGRIZ
AS SEEN ON TV (361)            STAINLESS STEEL RAT (338)
(62-3718) [13-5-2,109]         (62-3163) [1-4-1,26]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

MUGA GUCKA                     LHI
FREAKSHOW (354)                SUPERIOR DOA (359)
(62-3320) [12-6-0,103]         (62-3361) [9-3-1,99]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

 (-1)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. AS SEEN ON TV (361)         50
2. THE BEARS (268)             31      SUPERIOR DOA (359)
3. DEE CEE (397)               19      Unchartered Team
4. SAMURAI KIDS II (390)       16
5. STAINLESS STEEL RAT (338)   16      FISH MONGERS (406)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1- 1*GIBBERISH (402)            3   0  0  100   1/ 3*FISH MONGERS (406)       10  5 0
 2/ 2*FISH MONGERS (406)        10   5  0 66.7   2/ 2 AS SEEN ON TV (361)      10  5 0
 3- 4*WON AT POOL (401)          2   1  0 66.7   3/ 1 MITHRAL HALO (383)        8  3 1
 4/ 3 SUPERIOR DOA (359)        23  12  1 65.7   4/ 7 THE DEN OF SWORDS (369)   6  9 0
 5- 5 THE MUPPETS (349)         25  16  1 61.0   5/ 5 SUPERIOR DOA (359)        5  4 0
 6- 6*CHICKS DIG IT (396)       15  10  0 60.0   6/ 4 SAMURAI KIDS II (390)     5 10 0
 7/ 8 SLAUGHTERHOUSE 5 (395)    16  12  0 57.1   7/14*FLAGG'S DEVASTATOR (400)  4  6 1
 8/ 7 SAMURAI KIDS II (390)     49  37  4 57.0   8- 6*LATE SHOW (403)           3  4 0
 9/ 9 THE BEARS (268)          250 201 18 55.4   9-10*GIBBERISH (402)           2  0 0
10/ 0 FREAKSHOW (354)           45  37  0 54.9  10/18 THE BEARS (268)           2  2 0
11/10 MITHRAL HALO (383)        42  38  2 52.5  11/ 0 FREAKSHOW (354)           2  3 0
12-11 SENSITIVE GUYS (355)      22  21  0 51.2  12- 8*EVIL DEATH DUDES (392)    2  3 0
13/12 AS SEEN ON TV (361)       94  99  7 48.7  13/ 0*STAINLESS STEEL RA (338)  1  0 1
14-13*EVIL DEATH DUDES (392)    17  20  2 45.9  14-11 SENSITIVE GUYS (355)      1  0 0
15-14 GRIM OBITUARY (197)      343 432 33 44.3  15-13 THE MUPPETS (349)         1  2 0
16/15 THE DEN OF SWORDS (369)   78 106  8 42.4  16/19 SLAUGHTERHOUSE 5 (395)    1  2 0
17/17*FLAGG'S DEVASTATOR (400)  10  18  3 35.7  17- 9*CHICKS DIG IT (396)       1  3 0
18-18*LATE SHOW (403)            6  14  0 30.0  18-17 GRIM OBITUARY (197)       0  5 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19/ 0*STAINLESS STEEL RA (338)   1   4  1 20.0  19/ 0*DEE CEE (397)             0  1 0
20/ 0*DEE CEE (397)              0   1  0  0.0  20-15*WON AT POOL (401)         0  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                         ---===DELARQUAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

                                     Duelmasters
                                     -----------
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 468): CIARAN of MANNEQUIN'S BEST (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 353): SABLE of HARLEQUINS (Jinx, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 473): OINGO BOINGO of DOUBLE TROUBLE (Sultan, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 470): SUPER CHE of DOGS OF WAR (Sun Tsu, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 468): HOFFA of JOHNS (Dear, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 472): RED FUSION of IT'S NEW! (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 469): PERSEVERANCE of BATHTUB ARMADA (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 464): SULTAN of SIR AGLIO (Sultan, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 455): MR TACO WORKS of WASTELAND (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 454): CARNIVOROUS CANARY of CARNAGE CANARIES (?, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 428): ABATIS of ACT OF MALICE (Carnage, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 419): TIGER SPLASH of ARENA FELINES (Garfield, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 181): EGAN FORN of THE MIDDLE WAY (Gabria Hand, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 406): PORK CHOP JUKEBOX of COLOR ME SUAVE (Suave, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 354): REAP THE FIELD of SORROW'S HARVEST (Gergin "Happy Toes"
                             Frothingslosh, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 167): SEX ON THE BEACH of INDULGENT DRINKS (Fizban, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 155): ARMSTRONG of THE EXPLORERS (Kellog, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 304): LHI of SUPERIOR DOA (Poison Ivy, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 132): JARRAC of FREELANCERS (Jinx, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 347): ONE MAN ARMY of ROOKIE ARMADA from CIMMERIAC (Doc
                             Steele, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
                                      ---------
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 468): MANNEQUIN'S BEST (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 353): RESURRECTION (Shocking Toad, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 473): ASTRAL KIN (Kid Arcane, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 470): DOGS OF WAR (Sun Tsu, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 468): THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (Adela Chu, team captain)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 472): BATTLE BEASTS (Sensei Jan, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 469): none
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 464): SIR AGLIO (Sultan, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 455): SRETSAMLEUD (Phat Phat, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 454): CARNAGE CANARIES (?, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 428): IRON TIGERS (Jinx, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 419): JINDA-BAN (Zin, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 181): THE MIDDLE WAY (Gabria Hand, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 406): COLOR ME SUAVE (Suave, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 354): SORROW'S HARVEST (?, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 167): TRADERS OF TROCAR (Jinda, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 155): KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (Unforgiven, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 304): MITHRAL HALO (Barnabas, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 132): FREELANCERS (Jinx, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 347): ROOKIE ARMADA, etc. (Doc Steele, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
                                  -----------------
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 468): NEVERMORE of LAB EXPERIMENTS (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 472): PEGASUS of KREWE OF DRUID (The Druid, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 468): NEWKIRK of HOGAN'S HEROES (Postmaster, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 463): QUID PRO QUO of QUBIT (Sultan, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 455): MR TACO WORKS of WASTELAND (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
                            DUCK RUBBER of CENTER FOR OLDS (Suave, mgr.)
                            BOX-SCITE of ROCK-ETTS (Pie-Rite, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 419): VELOXI of DARK TOADS (TigToad, mgr.)
                  (turn 418): FOREVER MAN of SANDS OF TIME (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
                              TAMRISSA of BLENDING ENTHRONED (Zalgor Prigg, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 180): ROB A. REE of CRIMINAL ELEMENT (Fizban, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 406): PORK CHOP JUKEBOX of COLOR ME SUAVE (Suave, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 353): F-BLACKSHADOW of F-LLOD BLADES (
                             SACRIFICE of MIGHTY MORALS (
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 155): ARMSTRONG of THE EXPLORERS (Kellog, mgr.)
                          MINDBENDER of THE EXPLORERS (Kellog, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 304): PINK HEART of MIKE'S INK (Hombre, mgr.)
                   (turn 303): KERMIT of THE MUPPETS (Jim, mgr.)

                                      SPY REPORT

     Ready for some action-packed adventure, some thrills, chills and spills?  Well 
fergit it, cause this is the Spyreport for VALAMANTIS.  I don't wanna hurt anybody's 
feelings or anything, but CHICKS DIG IT really goofed with their 0-0-0.  The guys at 
THE BEARS like really pulled together to get a 2-1-0 this turn, moving up by 8.  One 
team deserves special mention 'cause they moved up 0 after going 4-1-0.  Keep it up, 
AS SEEN ON TV!  MVP award for FREON NECROPHILA?  DEE CEE's proud of him after beating 
KING SAMMON and getting 19 points.  Talk about yer big time losers!  SNOW CONEZ got 
smashed by EURO STEAMER, and lost 10 points!  Oh, wow, like the Duelmaster must be 
the most popular guy in all VALAMANTIS.  He got the most challenges.  (But what about 
proposals?) Like, P.B. BLASTER must be pretty gutsy!  He challenged the Duelmaster 
from SUPERIOR DOA.  Does this guy have a death wish or what!  Was that a tear I saw 
in P.B. BLASTER's eye, as he took over Duelmastership?  And wasn't LHI fit to be 
tied!  I hear the top team insists all their warriors get nine hours sleep.  They 
want photogenic fighters for PR photos.   
     AAARRGH!!!  I HATE SPYREPORTING!!!  Sorry.  I just had to say it.  AS SEEN ON TV 
was the most avoided team.  Is a 94-99-7 record really that scary?  Is there some 
deep dark secret why SAMURAI KIDS II's been avoiding AS SEEN ON TV so much?  Or is it 
just that they're too scared?   
     Man, all these warriors dying and killing each other!  Don't you guys ever give 
it a break?  What if they had a fight and nobody showed up?  I'd be out of a job, 
that's what!!!   
     I really didn't, you know, study when I was a kid.  Who would've guessed I'd be 
a famous Spyreporter?  I gotta leave.  VALAMANTIS is like such a dump, and you guys 
smell too much!  I had a fun time, see you later-- Debby Tonte  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 P.B. BLASTER 3718            13   5  2   109       AS SEEN ON TV (361)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MUGA GUCKA 3320              12   6  0   103       FREAKSHOW (354)
 LHI 3361                      9   3  1    99       SUPERIOR DOA (359)
 EURO STEAMER 3810            10   4  0    97       AS SEEN ON TV (361)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SNOW CONEZ 3316              11   7  0    88       FREAKSHOW (354)
 ANDERS 3476                  13  24  4    78       THE DEN OF SWORDS (369)
-JAGGED SHIV 3357             13   9  2    76       GRIM OBITUARY (197)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-DAWNRACER 3699               11   6  1    66       MITHRAL HALO (383)
-MANAGER 3392                  7   2  0    61       SUPERIOR DOA (359)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-DARTH TIMMY 3781              6   2  0    58       EVIL DEATH DUDES (392)
-AKLAR 3700                    9   7  1    57       MITHRAL HALO (383)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 GARRION 3723                 11   4  0    53       MITHRAL HALO (383)
 KISSAKI 3834                  8   6  1    49       SAMURAI KIDS II (390)
 MAGNUS PHAEDRUS 3908          5   2  1    48       THE DEN OF SWORDS (369)
 FROG SOAPDISH 3319           13   5  0    47       FREAKSHOW (354)
-GED 3823                      6   4  0    46       MITHRAL HALO (383)
-JIMMY KIMMEL 3913             2   2  0    45       LATE SHOW (403)
-EVIL WEEVIL 3779              4   3  1    43       EVIL DEATH DUDES (392)
 BLACK WIDOW 3807              7   6  0    40       SLAUGHTERHOUSE 5 (395)
-COMB-OVER 3840                5   0  0    40       CHICKS DIG IT (396)
 DOZER 3826                    9   5  0    36       THE DEN OF SWORDS (369)
-JOHN LENNON 3323              6   3  0    34       SENSITIVE GUYS (355)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 FATHER 3363                   4   5  0    33       SUPERIOR DOA (359)
-GRIM REAPER 3803              2   1  0    29       SLAUGHTERHOUSE 5 (395)
-MISS PIGGY 3270               2   2  0    29       THE MUPPETS (349)
-PSYCO KILLER 3804             3   1  0    27       SLAUGHTERHOUSE 5 (395)
-DANNY JOKELSON 3499           3   1  0    26       SENSITIVE GUYS (355)
 KATCHU 3920                   3   3  0    26       SAMURAI KIDS II (390)
 JIM DIGRIZ 3163               1   4  1    26       STAINLESS STEEL RAT (338)
 RABID BLITZER 3882            3   3  1    25       FLAGG'S DEVASTATORS (400)
 HOLLY MACKEREL 3951           3   0  0    25       FISH MONGERS (406)
-PLUMBER'S BUTT 3843           3   3  0    24       CHICKS DIG IT (396)
-AB LA BLA 3907                3   0  0    24       GIBBERISH (402)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-3-MINUTE MAN 3888             1   2  0    23       CHICKS DIG IT (396)
 MISTRESS 3928                 4   2  1    22       THE DEN OF SWORDS (369)
-VICIOUS THRILL 3885           2   3  1    22       FLAGG'S DEVASTATORS (400)
 DMOBSTER 3362                 3   2  0    21       SUPERIOR DOA (359)
 HALIBUT GHA 3952              2   1  0    21       FISH MONGERS (406)
-GONZO 3268                    4   1  1    20       THE MUPPETS (349)
-ANGEL OF DEATH 3805           2   2  0    20       SLAUGHTERHOUSE 5 (395)
 EASY TWEEZE 3937              3   1  0    19       AS SEEN ON TV (361)
 ALBACORE TUNER 3954           3   0  0    19       FISH MONGERS (406)
-BWAHAHA 3870                  2   3  1    19       EVIL DEATH DUDES (392)
 FREON NECROPHILA 3861         0   1  0    19       DEE CEE (397)
-DEATH WISH 3819               3   3  0    17       EVIL DEATH DUDES (392)
 FURIOUS BASHER 3881           2   4  1    17       FLAGG'S DEVASTATORS (400)
 T.A.B. 3411                   4   3  0    15       FREAKSHOW (354)
 TORSO TIGER 3949              2   1  0    15       AS SEEN ON TV (361)
-MADE A COMBO 3896             2   1  0    13       WON AT POOL (401)
-TWISTER 3854                  1   1  0    13       CHICKS DIG IT (396)
 THE JUDGE 3948                1   0  0    13       THE BEARS (268)
 PIMPLES 3917                  1   0  0    13       THE BEARS (268)
-DOCTOR DEATH 3806             2   2  0    12       SLAUGHTERHOUSE 5 (395)
 HAYAI 3960                    1   1  0    12       SAMURAI KIDS II (390)
-FAT JOKES 3841                3   2  0    11       CHICKS DIG IT (396)
-MAX WEINBERG 3950             1   0  0    11       LATE SHOW (403)
 KING SAMMON 3955              1   2  0    11       FISH MONGERS (406)
-DAVID LETTERMAN 3912          2   3  0     9       LATE SHOW (403)
-UMZAR RALU 3715               2   2  0     8       GRIM OBITUARY (197)
 ZESPEE KOO 3946               1   1  0     7       FLAGG'S DEVASTATORS (400)
-CARSON DAILY 3930             1   2  0     5       LATE SHOW (403)
 SUPERMODEL MIA 3738           1   2  0     5       FREAKSHOW (354)
-JAY LENO 3910                 0   4  0     4       LATE SHOW (403)
-MR. BIG BAD 3943              1   0  0     3       EVIL DEATH DUDES (392)
 TGEKI ROO 3947                0   2  0     2       FLAGG'S DEVASTATORS (400)
 THERRU 3958                   0   1  0     1       MITHRAL HALO (383)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 KUMITE 3963                   0   1  0     1       SAMURAI KIDS II (390)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
METRINCH 3857          4  7 1 AS SEEN ON TV 361     STONE GOLEM 26        305 NONE    
SILENT KILLER 3846     3  6 0 THE BEARS 268         DARK CHAMPION 24      305 NONE    
GRIZZLY 3856           1  1 1 THE BEARS 268         TEST MONKEY 3933      302         
THE ROOSTER 3858       1 10 0 THE DEN OF SWORDS 369 HIGH ELF 19           305 NONE    
STURGEON ROE 3953      1  2 0 FISH MONGERS 406      JIM DIGRIZ 3163       305         
TITANIUM CRUSH 3883    1  3 0 FLAGG'S DEVASTATO 400 LOTUS 3909            302 REVENGED
CHIGAU 3961            1  1 0 SAMURAI KIDS II 390   WURM KIN 27           305 NONE    
LOTUS 3909             4  1 1 SAMURAI KIDS II 390   VICIOUS THRILL 3885   303 REVENGED

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Fffffriiiizelllll -- Don't get too big of a head about your future looking bright;
after all, everyone's future looks bright when you're looking from the bottom up!!!
-- Barnabas

Sensei Jan -- Mithral Demon, hey that's kinda cool, I like it ! -- Barnabas

Dozer -- Well, big mouth, how does it feel to completely get whooped down in less
than 2 minutes, PUNK!!! -- Dawnracer

Indimar -- How does it feel to be a killin machine? -- Barnabas

Black Widow -- Quite a streak you got goin'.  Man, your manager is goooood!  No one
will ever think to zero in on you with the rest of your team suckin' eggs! --
Barnabas

Master Evil -- What's a matter, the goin get too tough here; hey, do like Soultaker
and fight one at a time. -- Barnabas

Sensei Jan -- Please, oh please for the love of Ahringol!  Bring your campaign of
"shock and awe."  You have a couple of turns to kill off the four I fight this turn
before I bring back Vicious Thrill. -- Flagg
P.S.  Kill 'em or I'll DA them.  Either way they're dead.  I'll do my best to keep
them in challenging range.

Kotchu -- I'll be back in a couple of turns to deal with you!  One way or another, by
the time I graduate you will be dead by my hands.  Unless...your manager decides to
send you to the Dark Arena before I get to taste your blood. -- Vicious Thrill
P.S.  Don't try to avoid me either.

Flagg -- I'm glad you finally announced yourself.  I don't know how long Jeffizzle
(not a typo) could've held off Tmonkey from smacking you.  Btw, I cannot give you a
proper beatdown if you only run one fighter on your team a turn.  I hope you choose
to stay in Valamantis for awhile. -- Sensei Jan

Jeffizzle -- For the rest of your short career here I will stomp your *chuckle* team
into the arena sands for challenging Kissaki.  And if your significant other,
Tmonkey, wants to intervene then all his fighters will have 13-23 records like his
"warrior" Anders.  I expect this type of behavior from that Mithral devil, Barnie,
but he can hold his own.  You on the other hand....bye-bye. -- Samurai Kids

Ghoti -- 3-2 is your personal best?  I don't think I'd want that known.  But congrats
anyway.  I hope you have even better turns(just not against me). -- Sensei Jan

Tmonkey -- Correction.  I DO NOT take a considerable amount of joy out of down
challenging.  I take an enormous amount of joy out of it.  Especially when I apply
the challenges to sewer managers who know how to run their mouths better than their
teams. -- Sensei Jan

Anders -- There's this thing called Social Security.  You should really look into it.
-- Elephant, KOS

Euro CREAMER -- You have the coolest name in the arena.  I'm gonna love to hear the
story behind Indimar's inspiration. -- KOS

Speaking of inspiration, Chicks Dig It, you should've really got permission from
Indimar and Barnabas before naming your warriors. -- KOS

GRIM OBITUARY -- I thought I ran you off.  Better use those avoids wisely or you'll
end up on the dead list. -- Elephant

Barnabas -- Have no fear, I'm here to protect you. -- Elephant

Tmoney -- What's with the increase in kills?  Where's that brother or yours?  Drop me
a line sometime. -- Elephant

Hidnopskivir -- I don't think having a letter repeated twice in someone's name is
gratuitous.  I wouldn't mind gratuitously adding some loses to your record.  BONG! --
Jimmy Kimmel

Hidnopskivir -- You ain't showin up that much in this arena!  What's the deal yo!?
Is it cuz you're low on scrilla?  Man you just gots to get some more scrillz.  Get
your priorities straight too. -- Jeffrizzel

Kissaki -- That was fun.  We should do it again. -- Jimmy Kimmel

Sensei Jan -- Hey don't you think it is funny how you down challenged against my
worst warrior with a whopping 2 recognition points and yet my warrior challenged up
20 points to fight your best...and won!?  THAT'S how it is done. -- Jeffrizzel

Tmoney -- Show me the money you owe me, foo!  I don't want it back in T-Bills either.
-- Jeffrizzel

Barnabas -- JIMMY KIMMEL demolished DAWNRACER in a 1 minute one sided challenge
match.  Are you surprised??  How do you like my sizzel. -- Jeffrizzel

Anders -- I know I should show some respect to a fighter who has been around as long
you but I just have to say this--YOU'RE NOT GOOD. -- P.B. Blaster

Tmoney -- I know you aren't the sharpest sword in the armory, but surely even you can
see Anders is overdue for a midnight fight. -- Sir Indimar Fallon

Jagged Shiv -- You look a little rusty from the long lay off.  You better bring your
"A" game if you're going to step on the sands with me. -- Euro Steamer

Halibut Gha -- You may have won this time but if ever we meet again I will fillet you
and leave your head for the sea gulls. -- Easy Tweeze

Aklar -- You were the final nail in Metrinch's coffin.  He will not disgrace my
stable any longer. -- Indimar Fallon

You Know Who -- Ole Barney boy wouldn't know what hit him if you showed it to him
before you hit him with it.  Phase two is in full swing. -- I.F.

Hayai -- Perhaps you should take up origami. -- Torso Tiger

LHI -- In the words of a famous Sicilian--"It is down to you and it is down to me."
-- P.B. Blaster

Carnage -- Welcome back.  It's always nice to have a few MFers to slap around. --
Indimar

Barnabas -- I hope you aren't going around ganging up on poor little chaos bringers,
you big bully. -- Indimar

Hidnopskvir -- So you do spell it just like it sounds!! -- I.F.

30 April 2003
All -- Remember to put your arena number on your strategy sheets.  Strategies turned
in without an arena number run the risk of missing the turn. -- NAIEI

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

METRINCH was dealt death by STONE GOLEM in a crowd pleasing 2 minute Dark Arena fight.
THE ROOSTER was murdered by HIGH ELF in a 1 minute brutal Dark Arena melee.
SILENT KILLER was narrowly killed by DARK CHAMPION in a 2 minute Dark Arena duel.
CHIGAU was butchered by WURM KIN in a 1 minute gory Dark Arena fight.
P.B. BLASTER subdued LHI in a crowd pleasing 2 minute Challenge Title competition.
MISTRESS was vanquished by KISSAKI in a exciting 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
TGEKI ROO was devastated by HAYAI in a 2 minute one-sided Challenge competition.
SNOW CONEZ was unbelievably bested by EURO STEAMER in a action packed 3 minute melee.
MUGA GUCKA won victory over ANDERS in a 1 minute fight.
DOZER was outwaited by FROG SOAPDISH in a slow 23 minute duel.
MAGNUS PHAEDRUS overpowered HALIBUT GHA in a 1 minute uneven match.
GARRION luckily beat DANGEROUS CRIMINAL in a 4 minute fight.
BLACK WIDOW savagely defeated KATCHU in a crowd pleasing 3 minute bloody match.
FATHER viciously subdued T.A.B. in a exciting 2 minute bloody battle.
ALBACORE TUNER narrowly defeated DMOBSTER in a unpopular 13 minute gory conflict.
FURIOUS BASHER vanquished MORDANT DESERTER in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
RABID BLITZER vanquished EMBEZZLING SCRIBE in a 1 minute one-sided fray.
JIM DIGRIZ butchered STURGEON ROE in a 1 minute mismatched brawl.
SUPERMODEL MIA was defeated by PIMPLES in a exciting 3 minute bout.
EASY TWEEZE beat ZESPEE KOO in a 2 minute novice's bout.
KING SAMMON overpowered FREON NECROPHILA in a 1 minute mismatched conflict.
TORSO TIGER devastated THERRU in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
HOLLY MACKEREL vanquished KUMITE in a 1 minute one-sided match.
THE JUDGE handily defeated CONVICTED THIEF in a 1 minute uneven duel.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  10         PARRY-LUNGE        6 -   2 -  0      75  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  8         TOTAL PARRY       40 -  23 -  0      63  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      7         WALL OF STEEL     18 -  16 -  1      53  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  4         STRIKING ATTACK   62 -  56 -  7      53  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     4         SLASHING ATTACK   21 -  20 -  1      51  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    3         PARRY-STRIKE       9 -  10 -  1      47  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      1         LUNGING ATTACK    51 -  62 -  8      45  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   1         BASHING ATTACK     5 -  22 -  0      19  |
|AIMED BLOW                       1         AIMED BLOW         2 -  11 -  0      15  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    1         PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -   2 -  0       0  |

Turn 305 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  0     LUNGING ATTACK     3 -  7         5  STRIKING ATTACK
BASHING ATTACK     1 -  0     PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  3         3  LUNGING ATTACK 
WALL OF STEEL      3 -  0     AIMED BLOW         0 -  1         2  WALL OF STEEL  
SLASHING ATTACK    3 -  1     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  1         1  SLASHING ATTACK
TOTAL PARRY        4 -  3     
STRIKING ATTACK    4 -  4     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
WALL OF STEEL    P.B. BLASTER 3718          13   5  2  109 AS SEEN ON TV (361)
LUNGING ATTACK   MUGA GUCKA 3320            12   6  0  103 FREAKSHOW (354)
STRIKING ATTACK  LHI 3361                    9   3  1   99 SUPERIOR DOA (359)
TOTAL PARRY      GARRION 3723               11   4  0   53 MITHRAL HALO (383)
SLASHING ATTACK  BLACK WIDOW 3807            7   6  0   40 SLAUGHTERHOUSE 5 (395)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is MUGA GUCKA 3320.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was LHI 3361.  The ten other most popular fighters were METRINCH 3857, SNOW CONEZ 
3316, BLACK WIDOW 3807, FATHER 3363, SUPERMODEL MIA 3738, SILENT KILLER 3846, HAYAI 
3960, KISSAKI 3834, EASY TWEEZE 3937, and HOLLY MACKEREL 3951.

The least popular fighter this week was DOZER 3826.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were FROG SOAPDISH 3319, ALBACORE TUNER 3954, DMOBSTER 3362, KUMITE 3963, 
THERRU 3958, FREON NECROPHILA 3861, STURGEON ROE 3953, GARRION 3723, TGEKI ROO 3947, 
and CHIGAU 3961.

The following warriors have traveled to ADVANCED DUELMASTERS after fighting this turn:

PINK HEART (62-3643) MIKE'S INK (380)

                  MAIL-IN TOURNEY XXXV

GATEWAY TOURNEY                        W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
THE DRAGON 2505 (97-79-1)              3  3  0         SAVAGE               
5 2979 (83-51-1)                       2  3  0         NUMBERS              

PRIMUS TOURNEY                         W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
NECROSIS 1264 (85-60-0)                0  5  0         GRIM OBITUARY        

CHAMPIONS TOURNEY                      W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
PINK HEART 3643 (11-2-1)               8  3  1         MIKE'S INK           
TYBALT 3696 (13-8-0)                   5  3  0         GRAPHIC VIOLENCE     
LIL NOIR 3311 (8-4-1)                  3  3  0         ENIGMA               
KERMIT 3267 (13-5-0)                   2  3  0         THE MUPPETS          
THE GREY LADY 2992 (8-3-0)             1  3  0         THE DARK TEMPLE      

ADEPTS TOURNEY                         W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
BILLY CORGAN 3326 (11-4-0)             3  2  0  DEAD   SENSITIVE GUYS       
DAWNRACER 3699 (10-6-1)                4  3  0         MITHRAL HALO         
P.B. BLASTER 3718 (11-5-2)             1  3  0         AS SEEN ON TV        

INITIATES TOURNEY                      W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
EVIL WEEVIL 3779 (4-3-1)               9  3  0         EVIL DEATH DUDES     
GED 3823 (5-4-0)                       3  3  0         MITHRAL HALO         
SILENT KILLER 3846 (3-5-0)             3  3  0         THE BEARS            
FATHER 3363 (3-4-0)                    1  3  0         SUPERIOR DOA         

APPRENTICES TOURNEY                    W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
DMOBSTER 3362 (3-1-0)                  3  3  0         SUPERIOR DOA         
JIMMY KIMMEL 3913 (1-2-0)              3  3  0         LATE SHOW            
VICIOUS THRILL 3885 (2-2-1)            3  3  0         FLAGG'S DEVASTATORS  
MADE A COMBO 3896 (2-1-0)              2  3  0         WON AT POOL          

NOVICES TOURNEY                        W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
ALBACORE TUNER 3954 (1-0-0)            5  3  0         FISH MONGERS         
AB LA BLA 3907 (2-0-0)                 4  3  0         GIBBERISH            

ROOKIES TOURNEY                        W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
PIMPLES 3917 (0-0-0)                   6  3  0         THE BEARS            
THE BUM 3918 (0-0-0)                   2  3  0         THE BEARS            
THE JUDGE 3948 (0-0-0)                 1  3  0         THE BEARS            

ELIGIBLES FOOLS TOURNEY                W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
MOLOCH 1267 (31-45-1)                  1  3  0         GRIM OBITUARY        

ADM FOOLS TOURNEY                      W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
THE ETERNAL PLEDGE 2931 (23-14-0)      0  3  0         LEGENDS OF TKE       

CHAMPIONS FOOLS TOURNEY                W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
SPENCER 3610 (7-5-1)                   1  3  0         THE BOLT             

INITIATES FOOLS TOURNEY                W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
DARTH TIMMY 3781 (6-2-0)               4  3  0         EVIL DEATH DUDES     
PLUMBER'S BUTT 3843 (3-3-0)            0  3  0         CHICKS DIG IT        

APPRENTICES FOOL TOURNEY               W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
DEATH WISH 3819 (3-3-0)                7  2  1         EVIL DEATH DUDES     
DRAVOR 3915 (2-1-0)                    0  3  0         THE LOSERS           

NOVICES FOOLS TOURNEY                  W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
HOLLY MACKEREL 3951 (1-0-0)            1  3  0         FISH MONGERS