Date   : 11/25/2003    Duedate: 12/08/2003


DM-63    TURN-315

This Weeks Top Honors


WHY KNOT (201)
(63-2104) [16-7-0,107]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

GORDIAN                        ELENA
WHY KNOT (201)                 SITTIN' ON ACES (283)
(63-2104) [16-7-0,107]         (63-2356) [6-2-0,58]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

SPEEDBUMP                      GORDIAN
WAYFARERS (248)                WHY KNOT (201)
(63-2376) [19-36-0,93]         (63-2104) [16-7-0,107]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. SITTIN' ON ACES (283)       18
2. WAYFARERS (248)             10      WAYFARERS (248)
3. WHY KNOT (201)               6      Unchartered Team
4. WAY OF THE BLADE 2 (287)     0
5. TOMATO ENFORCER (284)        0      SITTIN' ON ACES (283)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1- 2 WAY OF THE BLADE 2 (287)  29  21  5 58.0   1/ 1 WAYFARERS (248)           9  6 1
 2/ 0*SITTIN' ON ACES (283)      8   6  0 57.1   2/ 2 WHY KNOT (201)            3  1 0
 3- 4 TOMATO ENFORCER (284)     85  93  4 47.8   3- 3 WAY OF THE BLADE 2 (287)  2  3 1
 4/ 5 WAYFARERS (248)          348 411  8 45.8   4/ 0*SITTIN' ON ACES (283)     1  0 0
 5/ 6 WHY KNOT (201)           138 219  7 38.7   5- 6 TOMATO ENFORCER (284)     0  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

           + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ Andorians Abroad #19 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +


     The Lord Dankilvan had given them temporary quarters in his mansion.  A suite
among the servants, but that was okay, the decor was less overpowering.
     Berdan looked around at the nearly plain hangings that covered the walls of the
central room in the suite and scowled.  "I don't like this," the ex-assassin growled.
"Sequestering us!  This Dankilvan is up to something."
     Raoul shrugged, took off his hat and looked at it, then put it back again.  The
gesture didn't mean anything, but it gave him time to think about his answer without
being rude.  And he was really tempted to be rude.  Berdan was repeating himself.
And the gladiator was getting tired of repeating his answer.  But one more time...
maybe it would get through this time.  "Lord Dankilvan is trying to keep Skaithvarn
out of Alastarian politics.  Can't blame him for that!  We don't want that
entanglement, either."
     "He's sending a Delarquan spy with us--"
     "A Delarquan gladiator who may or may not be a spy.  So?"
     "She'll be a spy.  Everything we do will be reported to this--"
     "Are you planning to do something you want to hide?" Jeri Northwind asked.
     Berdan jumped a little, having forgotten that she was there.  "No, but--"
     "Then it isn't a problem.  In fact," she exchanged a glance with Raoul, who
nodded slightly, "in fact, it's a good thing.  It means the S'varni won't have to
worry about what we might be up to, because they'll know what we ARE up to."
     "Right, doll.  And besides, better the spy we know and can see than one we
don't.  Surely you realize that, Berdan?"
     The ex-assassin sighed and shrugged.  "I suppose so."
                       ***     *****     ***     *****     ***
     Hallie O'Dene turned out to be an elf.  A southern elf, a dark-skinned Shagornan
elf, an elf of the kind deeply distrusted by the northern elves who figured in the
ancestry of all Fratsfan nobles.
     Berdan refused to have anything to do with her.  "And how Dankilvan, himself of
the High Blood, could actually employ her, trust her--!"  He stormed around their
sitting room, not quite throwing things but looking as though he wanted to.
     Hallie O'Dene watched quietly, showing no offense, nor any other reaction except
mild interest.  Leaning just a little toward Jeri, she asked, "Does he have a strong
heart?  Because he's a prime candidate for apoplexy right now."
     Jeri put a hand over her mouth to hold back a snort of laughter.  "I don't know
him that well," she admitted, "but fortunately, we can do this without him if we have
     The Delarquan's eyebrows rose.  "You think he might abandon the mission just to
avoid working with me?"
     "He might, doll," Raoul said, coming to sit between the two of them on the
room's long couch as Berdan continued to rage up and down the room, cursing Hallie,
Raoul and Jeri, Peranis, Dankilvan, and other people they'd never heard of
comprehensively and bitterly.  "That doesn't worry me so much as that he might quit
us and try to go on without us--go into competition with us over it.  How much can we
trust him?  The man used to be a spy and an assassin, after all."
     "Well, it's as good as a play," Hallie said, "but Lord Dankilvan wants us to get
ON with things.  Maybe we should try to stop him?"
     Raoul shook his head.  "He's got to get through it, doll.  But maybe we should
get on with it ourselves.  Jeri and I are ready to go--we didn't unpack when we got
     "Leave Berdan to follow when he calms down?" Jeri asked.
     "Or go back to Andor, if that's what he wants to do."  Raoul shrugged.  He
glanced at Jeri, who jumped up and grabbed a backpack.
     "I'm ready," she said.  As soon as Raoul and Hallie had picked up their packs,
she added, "What's the matter with this Leemith place that Lord Dankilvan mentioned?
He didn't seem to like them at all."
     Hallie led the way out the door.  "I've got horses waiting for us," she said.
"The Leemin, well, they're all vampires.  Generally good neighbors, but still, you
just don't trust a town full of vampires, do you?"

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                          ---===ANDORIAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 237): MELTDOWN of X-FORCE (Savant, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 476): ATROPHY of THE DEATH SQUAD (Street Legal, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 469): HOMELESS PRINCE of KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellubmo)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 465): KID ROCK of THE MC5 (Street Legal, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 465): MONKEY WRENCH of PRIMATES-R-US (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 466): SARINA of GOLDEN CANYON (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 462): SONIC TACO of TRIP OUT (Angus, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 427): SUSAN STO HELIT of THE DISC (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 420): BARNEE of THE FLINTSTONES (Lord Genesis, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 413): ANASTASIA of RUBY DRAGONS (Talon Warsmith, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 185): VIOLENT VIOLET of FLOWER GIRLS (Lady Fern, mgr.)
 DM  60 ARADI (turn 325): BLACK CAT of SHADOW SIGNS (Shadowgate, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 314): GORDIAN of WHY KNOT (Clove-Hitch, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 139): BATTLEMAGE of SHADOW MAGIC (Shadowgate, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 361): DEMONFANG of DARK PANTHEON from TRANSEL (Doc Steele)

                                      Top Teams
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 237): BONDAGE (Spawn, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 476): BULLDOGS (Kennelworth, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 476): THE DEATH SQUAD (Street Legal, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 469): CONSPIRACY INC. (?, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 465): THE MC5 (Street Legal, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 465): PRIMATES-R-US (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 466): HEADBANGERS (Sablon-O-Vlad, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 462): TRIP OUT (Angus, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 427): TACO GODS (The Oracle, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 420): THE FLINTSTONES (Lord Genesis, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 413): HARDTIMESINBABYLON (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 185): MIDDLE WAY 8 (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  60 ARADI (turn 325): I'M WITH STUPID (Yukon Cornelius, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 314): WAYFARERS (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 139): HAZAARDS OF CLONING (Crip, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 361): DARK PANTHEON (Doc Steele, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 476): HUSHPUPPY of BULLDOGS (Kennelworth, mgr.)
                   (turn 475): DREIHDENSMURF of U.B.O.S.M. (Dreihdenflahg, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 469): HOMELESS PRINCE of KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellubmo)
                           EDWIN MEESE of CONSPIRACY INC. (?, mgr.)
                           HOW--LITE of ROCK ETTS (Pie-Rite, mgr.)
               (turn 468): GUANTANAMO BAY of THE REPUBLICANS (The Judge, mgr.)
                           PISHTUSH of ANDORIAN WIMPS (Wimpy, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 464): APE WILD of PRIMATES-R-US (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 465): OMNIBOOK 6000 of AT WORK (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 411): COURIER of HARDTIMESINBABYLON (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 185): VIOLENT VIOLET of FLOWER GIRLS (Lady Fern, mgr.)
                            SQUASH BUTT of OTTO'S PARTS (Crip, mgr.)
                            PYROTECHNICIAN of THE FURIOUS FIVE (Generalissimo Puerco)
 DM  60 ARADI (turn 325): THE LIMELIGHT of CLUB CULTURE (Talon Volksie, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 139): BATTLEMAGE of SHADOW MAGIC (Shadowgate, mgr.)

                                      SPY REPORT

     It's me, The Unknown Spymaster, back to give you this week's Spy Report.  Sit 
back in your seats and we'll have more fun than a barrel of Zontanis.  Hey everybody, 
watch out for ELENA, who flew up 18 points in the rankings after mashing PASSER BY 
like a melon.  Keep your eye on this gal.  Ya know, some days it doesn't pay to walk 
out on the sands.  PASSER BY was defeated by ELENA and drops 17 points.  Well, 
everybody's pal GORDIAN moved his record to 16-7-0 by defeating SPEEDBUMP in the 
Duelmaster's Title Bout and gaining 6 recognition points.  An apple a day keeps the 
doctor away, but an onion a day keeps T.P.s at bay.   
     Here is other news that is of note.   
     Being a spy is great--other people die and you spend the rest of the day 
drinking to their memory.  Better tanked than dead!  Ask not the elves for counsel, 
for they will say both yes and no.  Silly buggers, eh?   
     Well, there's the manager of the AMEN-TEI giving me the 'cut' sign (or is that 
'They're going to strangle you in the alley?).  Okay, so I may not be the world's 
best comedian, but then you guys aren't the world's best warriors.  And remember, you 
can pick your friends and you can pick your--(loud boos), oh, you've heard that one 
already!-- The Unknown Spymaster  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 GORDIAN 2104                 16   7  0   107       WHY KNOT (201)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-MALICHAI 2396                 9   2  0   114       WAY OF THE BLADE 2 (287)
 WANDERING JO 2411            21  21  3    93       WAYFARERS (248)
 SPEEDBUMP 2376               19  36  0    93       WAYFARERS (248)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ELENA 2356                    6   2  0    58       SITTIN' ON ACES (283)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-SEVERIN 2394                  4   3  1    56       WAY OF THE BLADE 2 (287)
 HOBO JO 2520                  7   3  0    49       WAYFARERS (248)
 JOE CHILL 2527                6   1  0    45       WAYFARERS (248)
-CURVACEOUS CORRY 2387         8   7  0    39       TOMATO ENFORCER (284)
 PASSER BY 2513                6   8  0    39       WAYFARERS (248)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-QUINZE 2355                   2   2  0    24       SITTIN' ON ACES (283)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-JOKER'S WILD 2533             1   1  0    16       WAY OF THE BLADE 2 (287)
-KILLER KINCY 2512             2   2  0     8       TOMATO ENFORCER (284)
-BRUTAL BIRDSMAN 2514          1   1  0     4       TOMATO ENFORCER (284)
-ARLO 2357                     0   2  0     2       SITTIN' ON ACES (283)
-SINISTER SANDRO 2462          0   1  0     1       TOMATO ENFORCER (284)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
VIRGINAL CONCUBINE 15  0  1 0   1                   WANDERING JO 2411     315 NONE    
HANGMAN 1631          10 11 1 WHY KNOT 201          SEVERIN 2394          313         

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Gordian -- What did you do, take smart pills before the fight? -- Speedbump

Nobody told me I'd have to fight the Khalhums Dwarf!  I'm allergic to Dwarf hair. --
Wandering Jo

That Userous Merchant will think again before he makes rash claims. -- Passer By

No More Visiting Orcs.  Let's all plan a strike against them! -- Hobo Jo

But I WANTED to bury the Fratsfan Noble in the sand.  Thwarting me has given me a
horrid complex. -- Joe Chill

Only six active warriors last time, and five of them ours.  Not good. -- Schendirk

31 October 2003
     Come one, come all, to the greatest contest in Alastari!  The Third Annual Turf
War will be in North Fork (DM 47) starting in about 6-7 turns....  C'mon and get your
team some experience, and get declared!
     More info available in North Fork's newsletter.
     Bloody Sands. -- Asmo Dius, TCB

13 November 2003
Let it be known far and wide, that the Warrior TUM 18-7380, the Champions Runner-Up
for the recent Tournament, is managed by none other than Shocking Toad.  I named this
fabulous warrior after my friend and mentor, TUM, a.k.a. Don!  Sorry TUM didn't get
me my first TC; however, a runner-up with all those sandbaggers is pretty impressive,
if I do say so myself. -- Shocking Toad, The Manager

13 November 2003
All -- This is to announce that I am no longer a member of the Vendetta Cartel
Alliance.  I have enjoyed my time there, and I've made some great friends.  Their
company will be missed, but they will endure.  I wish them well. -- Apex

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

GORDIAN bested SPEEDBUMP in a action packed 1 minute brutal master's Title fight.
WANDERING JO easily killed VIRGINAL CONCUBINE in a 1 minute one-sided match.
PASSER BY was vanquished by ELENA in a 1 minute mismatched brawl.
HOBO JO defeated HAPPY PEASANT in a 3 minute fight.
JOE CHILL demolished HAPPY PEASANT in a 1 minute mismatched competition.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                   4         PARRY-RIPOSTE      7 -   3 -  0      70  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    1         WALL OF STEEL      2 -   1 -  0      67  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  1         LUNGING ATTACK    34 -  20 -  1      63  |
|AIMED BLOW                       1         AIMED BLOW         8 -   6 -  1      57  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      0         BASHING ATTACK     4 -   4 -  0      50  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     0         TOTAL PARRY        3 -   4 -  0      43  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  0         SLASHING ATTACK    8 -  13 -  3      38  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   0         STRIKING ATTACK    1 -   5 -  0      17  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      0         PARRY-STRIKE       0 -   0 -  0       0  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    0         PARRY-LUNGE        0 -   1 -  0       0  |

Turn 315 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  0     AIMED BLOW         0 -  1         6  LUNGING ATTACK 
SLASHING ATTACK    1 -  0     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  0         2  SLASHING ATTACK
LUNGING ATTACK     3 -  1     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  0         1  PARRY-RIPOSTE  
                              STRIKING ATTACK    0 -  0         1  TOTAL PARRY    
                              BASHING ATTACK     0 -  0         1  AIMED BLOW     
                              TOTAL PARRY        0 -  0     
                              WALL OF STEEL      0 -  0     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
LUNGING ATTACK   GORDIAN 2104               16   7  0  107 WHY KNOT (201)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    HOBO JO 2520                7   3  0   49 WAYFARERS (248)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
The overall popularity leader is SPEEDBUMP 2376.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was GORDIAN 2104.  The ten other most popular fighters were HOBO JO 2520, WANDERING 
JO 2411, ELENA 2356, JOE CHILL 2527, SPEEDBUMP 2376, PASSER BY 2513,  0,  0,  0, and  

The least popular fighter this week was PASSER BY 2513.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were SPEEDBUMP 2376, JOE CHILL 2527, ELENA 2356, WANDERING JO 2411, HOBO JO 
2520, GORDIAN 2104,  0,  0,  0, and  0.