DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 05/19/2020    Duedate: 06/01/2020

AMEN-TEI ARENA

DM-63    TURN-731

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

RHO TELESCOPII
TELESCOPIUM (374)
(63-3447) [7-1-0,104]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

JERK                           RHO TELESCOPII
EXCLAMATION! (350)             TELESCOPIUM (374)
(63-3426) [28-11-2,101]        (63-3447) [7-1-0,104]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

JERK                           RHO TELESCOPII
EXCLAMATION! (350)             TELESCOPIUM (374)
(63-3426) [28-11-2,101]        (63-3447) [7-1-0,104]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

TELESCOPIUM (374)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. TELESCOPIUM (374)           31
2. BAD ATTIFOOD (376)          24      EXCLAMATION! (350)
3. SATAN'S SAINTS (377)        14      Unchartered Team
4. WAYFARERS (248)              4
5. TEAM SCUM (115)              1      BAD ATTIFOOD (376)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1*BAD ATTIFOOD (376)        15   3  0 83.3   1/ 3*TELESCOPIUM (374)         6  2 0
 2/ 2*SATAN'S SAINTS (377)       6   2  2 75.0   2/ 1 EXCLAMATION! (350)        6  5 0
 3/ 3 EXCLAMATION! (350)       276 131 18 67.8   3/ 2*BAD ATTIFOOD (376)        5  0 0
 4/ 4*TELESCOPIUM (374)         10   8  0 55.6   4/ 5*SATAN'S SAINTS (377)      3  0 1
 5/ 6 WAYFARERS (248)          %1082 %1189 24 47.6   5/ 4 WAYFARERS (248)           3  9 1
 6- 7 SUPERIOR FORCES 54 (302)  32  41  1 43.8   6/ 6*TEAM SCUM (115)           0  2 0
 7/ 5*TEAM SCUM (115)            1   2  0 33.3   7- 7 SUPERIOR FORCES 54 (302)  0  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

             + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ Storm Season #1 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

Amen-Tei:

     "We are prepared," Dame Mingia said, "to make... handsome concessions to any 
Standby or Dark Arena warrior who will volunteer for this mission--"
     "What, free burial in the lake?" Maurice Karn, the Ambitious Guard asked.
     Krego Dehann, the Veteran Mercenary, waved him to silence.  "I can see why you 
want us," he said.  "We're here all the time, not dashing off to tournaments or what 
have you.  But we're not sailors.  We're not magicians--well, most of us aren't."  He 
squinted at the hooded Cult Member, who remained silent.  "What are we supposed to 
DO?"
     The assistant to the High Thane raised an eyebrow.  "Why, nothing but what you do 
so well:  fight.  Two or three of you will be posted on ships leaving our harbor--as 
many ships as we can cover in that fashion. And when the monsters attack, you will 
fight them, and lead the crews and passengers of the vessels in fighting."

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

     I'm Jerk. Duelmaster. Some call me a jerk. No! You are all the jerks! Jerks 
everywhere in this manure pile. I pity you.
     So that makes nine. Nine-time Duelmaster. I own this place. But what value is 
owning a manure pile? Phbbbttt!
     I don't know what is wrong with you jerky peacocks. Why even fight if you are a 
mere bunch of pretty boys and bimbos? Why/ Go home to your mamas.
     Ho hum. I'm here. See you again next time.

                                             -- Jerk, DMIX

                                      SPY REPORT

     It's me, The Unknown Spymaster, back to give you this week's Spy Report.  Sit 
back in your seats and we'll have more fun than a barrel of Zontanis.  We now have a 
new top team for all of you guys to dogpile on.  TELESCOPIUM now holds the crown and 
they are betting they can keep it.  Hey everybody, watch out for BABY, PEAS!, who 
flew up 15 points in the rankings after mashing TRUSTWORTHY SCRIBE like a melon.  
Keep your eye on this guy.  And falling like a basher in the top ten was CLOUD 
SHADOW, who dropped 3 points after a disappointing (to say the least) bout with IT'S 
NACHO CHEESE.  In front of all the crowds, RHO TELESCOPII took the Duelmaster's crown 
for hers own.  I give the bum two weeks.  4 out of 5 gladiators surveyed protect the 
body, so try and avoid aiming at that location.   
     But enough of that bunch, let's get on to the wimps who like to avoid battle!  
Here's a song for you:  Who's afraid of the big, bad  TELESCOPIUM?  Big bad 
TELESCOPIUM.  Big bad TELESCOPIUM.  AMEN-TEI's afraid of the big bad TELESCOPIUM.  
Tra la la la la!  And you guys like to boo me?  Well, unsling your rasberries, cause 
EXCLAMATION! beats feet every time TELESCOPIUM smiles at them.  Try farming, eh?  
Well dang howdy, but if challenges were votes, AQUINAS would be president.  Although 
it may be a contest he doesn't want to win.   
     Being a spy is great--other people die and you spend the rest of the day 
drinking to their memory.  Better tanked than dead!  Here's some advice:  warriors 
with little wit and will may encounter problems on the trail to the Isle.   
     Well, that wasn't too bad; Alarond told me that the people in AMEN-TEI have no 
sense of humor.  Or maybe that they were senseless.  Okay, so I may not be the 
world's best comedian, but then you guys aren't the world's best warriors.  Hasta la 
bye-bye.  (Loud choruses of 'Beat it, ya bum!')-- The Unknown Spymaster  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 RHO TELESCOPII 3447           7   1  0   104       TELESCOPIUM (374)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 JERK 3426                    28  11  2   101       EXCLAMATION! (350)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 OOPS 3466                    13   1  1    97       EXCLAMATION! (350)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 IT'S NACHO CHEESE 3474        7   1  0    75       BAD ATTIFOOD (376)
 POOR STRANGER 3464            9  10  0    71       WAYFARERS (248)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-JALAPENO BUSINESS 3473        4   1  0    58       BAD ATTIFOOD (376)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BARRETT INCH 3455            12   8  1    51       WAYFARERS (248)
 PICKLES AND ONIONS 3453       9  18  1    46       WAYFARERS (248)
 AQUINAS 3480                  3   0  1    45       SATAN'S SAINTS (377)
 CLOUD SHADOW 3467            11   5  1    44       WAYFARERS (248)
-PSHAW 3451                   11   8  0    41       EXCLAMATION! (350)
-JOHN BOSCO 3477               3   2  1    36       SATAN'S SAINTS (377)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BABY, PEAS! 3471              2   0  0    25       BAD ATTIFOOD (376)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-LAMBDA TELESCOPII 3489        2   0  0    21       TELESCOPIUM (374)
-NU TELESCOPII 3486            1   0  0    21       TELESCOPIUM (374)
 CHICKEN 3499                  1   2  0    19       EXCLAMATION! (350)
 I H8 SCUM 1518                0   2  0    12       TEAM SCUM (115)
-KINDA A BIG DILL 3475         2   1  0     7       BAD ATTIFOOD (376)
-GOOD SCUM 692                 1   0  0     3       TEAM SCUM (115)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
HELP 3470               2  5 1 EXCLAMATION! 350     BARRETT INCH 3455     731   
LUFI 3456               0  1 0 SUPERIOR FORCES  302 AQUINAS 3480          729   

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Jerk again?  Nine titles?! No wonder we Exclamations are so loud and proud. -- 
Loudmouth

Poor Stranger. I feel sorry for you. Here is my last rotten apple as a donation. -- 
Oops

Aquinas, all that FE and that's all you could do? They call me chicken, but I think 
you are Saint Chicken. -- Chicken

Loud and proud. Loud and Proud. -- Loudmouth

Oops -- At least you taught me a skill. -- Poor Stranger
P.S.  And you aren't a jerk.

It's Nacho Cheese -- Needs more salsa. -- Cloud Shadow

Rho Telescopii -- I never tried to row with a telescope before, how does it work? -- 
Barrett Inch

These orcs should stay home, not go visiting all the time. -- Pickles and Onions

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

AQUINAS viciously subdued PICKLES AND ONIONS in a 5 minute bloody Challenge fight.
JERK was viciously subdued by RHO TELESCOPII in a 2 minute uneven Title battle.
OOPS vanquished POOR STRANGER in a 1 minute mismatched brawl.
IT'S NACHO CHEESE overpowered CLOUD SHADOW in a 2 minute one-sided fight.
BARRETT INCH butchered HELP in a 1 minute uneven brawl.
I H8 SCUM was overpowered by CHICKEN in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided struggle.
BABY, PEAS! handily defeated TRUSTWORTHY SCRIBE in a 1 minute uneven fight.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|STRIKING ATTACK                  6         SLASHING ATTACK    2 -   0 -  0     100  |
|AIMED BLOW                       4         BASHING ATTACK     8 -   1 -  0      89  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   1         WALL OF STEEL      2 -   1 -  0      67  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      1         AIMED BLOW        21 -  13 -  0      62  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         LUNGING ATTACK     7 -   6 -  1      54  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      0         STRIKING ATTACK   26 -  26 -  2      50  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    0         TOTAL PARRY        3 -   4 -  1      43  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   0         PARRY-STRIKE       4 -   7 -  0      36  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  0         PARRY-LUNGE        1 -   2 -  0      33  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    0         PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -   0 -  0       0  |

Turn 731 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

BASHING ATTACK     1 -  0     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  0         4  STRIKING ATTACK
TOTAL PARRY        1 -  0     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  1         2  AIMED BLOW     
AIMED BLOW         2 -  2     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  0         2  TOTAL PARRY    
STRIKING ATTACK    3 -  3     LUNGING ATTACK     0 -  0         1  BASHING ATTACK 
                              SLASHING ATTACK    0 -  0         1  LUNGING ATTACK 
                              WALL OF STEEL      0 -  0         1  PARRY-STRIKE   

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
STRIKING ATTACK  RHO TELESCOPII 3447         7   1  0  104 TELESCOPIUM (374)
AIMED BLOW       JERK 3426                  28  11  2  101 EXCLAMATION! (350)
BASHING ATTACK   OOPS 3466                  13   1  1   97 EXCLAMATION! (350)
TOTAL PARRY      AQUINAS 3480                3   0  1   45 SATAN'S SAINTS (377)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is JERK 3426.  The most popular warrior this turn was 
RHO TELESCOPII 3447.  The ten other most popular fighters were CHICKEN 3499, AQUINAS 
3480, PICKLES AND ONIONS 3453, OOPS 3466, IT'S NACHO CHEESE 3474, BARRETT INCH 3455, 
I H8 SCUM 1518, BABY, PEAS! 3471, JERK 3426, and CLOUD SHADOW 3467.

The least popular fighter this week was HELP 3470.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were POOR STRANGER 3464, CLOUD SHADOW 3467, JERK 3426, BABY, PEAS! 3471, I 
H8 SCUM 1518, BARRETT INCH 3455, IT'S NACHO CHEESE 3474, OOPS 3466, PICKLES AND 
ONIONS 3453, and AQUINAS 3480.

                                     STORM POINT

Storm Point, DM 86, is now open!  This arena will process on a two-week cycle.  Orders 
for inaugural battles are due on May 11, 2020.

Jasper Gulch, DM 85, is now closed to new teams, effective immediately.  Any new teams 
that arrive are being rerouted to Storm Point.  DM 85 will continue to process on its 
normal cycle and teams may continue to add new replacement warriors as necessary.

                                          -- RSI