Date   : 08/09/2012    Duedate: 09/05/2012


DM-72    TURN-253

This Weeks Top Honors


(72-6539) [11-1-0,141]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

FILING FEE                     RUTABAGA
BASH BROS LAWYER (730)         VEGGIES II (721)
(72-6539) [11-1-0,141]         (72-6482) [8-0-0,102]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

(72-6586) [7-5-0,123]          (72-6586) [7-5-0,123]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. BASH BROS DIAPER (793)      28
2. BASH BROS LAWYER (730)      23      BASH BROS FRIEND (753)
3. BASH BROS FAST FOOD (739)   23      Unchartered Team
4. BASH BROS CABLE (736)       18
5. KIWI CONNECTION 8 (703)     16      VEGGIES II (721)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 2*VEGGIES II (721)           8   0  0  100   1/ 3*BASH BROS CABLE (736)     8  1 0
 2/ 3*KIWI CONNECTION 11 (709)   6   0  0  100   2/ 2 BASH BROS LAWYER (730)    7  2 0
 3/ 0*BASH BROS DIAPER (793)     2   0  0  100   3/ 1*BASH BROS CANDY (806)     6  2 0
 4-11*BASH BROS CRICKET (727)   13   1  2 92.9   4/ 5 BASH BROS HAIRCUT (737)   5  1 1
 5-12*BASH BROS LIBRARY (755)   13   1  0 92.9   5/ 6 BASH BROS FAST FOO (739)  4  2 0
 6/10 BASH BROS FRIEND (753)    16   2  2 88.9   6/17 LHC (705)                 4  8 0
 7-13*BB SMART PHONE (732)       8   1  1 88.9   7/ 7*KIWI CONNECTION 11 (709)  3  0 0
 8/15*BASH BROS CABLE (736)     14   2  0 87.5   8/ 8*VEGGIES II (721)          3  0 0
 9-14*BASH BROS COLLEGE (746)    7   1  1 87.5   9/13 MIDDLE WAY 9 (706)        3 11 0
10/ 1*BASH BROS CANDY (806)      9   2  0 81.8  10/ 0*BASH BROS DIAPER (793)    2  0 0
11/17 BASH BROS FAST FOO (739)  24   6  1 80.0  11-12*BASH BROS CRICKET (727)   2  0 0
12/19 BASH BROS HAIRCUT (737)   22   6  3 78.6  12- 9*BB SMART PHONE (732)      2  0 0
13/18 BASH BROS LAWYER (730)    31   9  1 77.5  13-11*BASH BROS LIBRARY (755)   2  0 0
14-20*BASH BROS FRUITSTA (748)  16   5  0 76.2  14- 4*BASH BROS FRUITSTA (748)  2  1 0
15/ 0*KIWI CONNECTION 8 (703)    5   2  0 71.4  15/10 BASH BROS FRIEND (753)    2  1 0
16-21*BASH BROS DOG (749)        5   2  0 71.4  16/ 0*KIWI CONNECTION 8 (703)   1  0 0
17/22 MIDDLE WAY 9 (706)       116  96  4 54.7  17-16*BASH BROS COLLEGE (746)   1  0 0
18/24*KIWI CONNECTION 6 (701)    1   2  0 33.3  18-25*BASH BROS DOG (749)       1  0 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19/26 LHC (705)                 35 100  0 25.9  19/23*KIWI CONNECTION 6 (701)   1  2 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

                        6 Months Ago -- The Eastern Deserts

     The battlefield was shrouded in darkness, save for the torches carried by a
number of the soldiers and several magical orbs of light, which circled above lazily
at the command of the wizards.  The engagement had been a short one, as three huge,
lumbering Phase Dragons burst from the nearby caverns and ran straight into the fully
prepared army.  The archers took a savage toll on the beasts before the elite
gladiators charged in to finish the fray.  As the soldiers cleared the massive bodies
from the cavern mouth a small group of hooded men gathered a short distance away.
     "There is no question about it.  These are creatures from the Kaikwok Gate."
said Rillion, thoughtfully stroking his short beard. "I just don't understand how
they are accessing our world again despite the gate being completely sealed."
     Alongside the mage, the manager known as The Greek Guy sharpened a gleaming
battle axe.  "The Dark One said something about a rift or tear.  I'm not really up on
Gate Metaphysics, Rill.  All I know is they're here and they shouldn't be."
     "Managerr said they wouldn't be gone long." Added Rascally Rabbit, looking far
more sinister than his manager name implied, "and that we needed to hold this area
until they got back.  So that's what we need to do."
     One of the scouts shouted a brief warning and the soldiers assumed battle
formation once more.  The three arena managers stepped back behind a shield thrown up
by Rillion and prepared for a second engagement.  Within a moment, a snarling wave of
Jaguar warriors erupted from the cavern, pouring out toward the soldiers.
     The Greek Guy took the point and motioned to the troops.  "Move to engage!  Form
up!  Initiate Shield Wall!  Archers, volley fire!"
     A cloud of enchanted arrows hissed into the night, and then descended to shower
death upon the charging Jaguar warriors.  Scores of the beast men went down under the
fire but it was just a small fraction of their overall numbers.  Within a moment the
first ranks of the jaguars leapt upon the prepared troops, tearing and rending with
their razor sharp talons and fangs.  Despite the massive numbers, the shield wall
held, and the gate beasts seemed to be taking the worst of the exchange.  After a
moment, however, the Jaguar Warriors found some holes in the ranks and burst through,
creating havoc amongst the defenders.
     "Second line-- advance!  First line-- fall back!"
     The first defensive line fell back in an organized retreat, while a second wave
of defenders moved up.  Within a moment, they formed up to from a second defensive
line, while those formerly in the front line moved back to regroup.  At the same
time, another wave of arrows showered from the sky and cut down the confused Jaguar
     "We learned a lot from the first Gate incursion." Rillion commented to RR.  "The
Jaguar Warriors can be a terror one on one, but they don't fight well in organized
battles.  Those enchanted arrows help a lot, too.  One shot, one kill."
     Despite the confident words, the Jaguars were inflicting a savage toll on the
soldiers.  It was true, that the majority of the troops were gladiators and former
gladiators who were now protected by immortality magic, but still if they were
consumed by the Gate monsters, there would be no return.  As the battle raged, it
became clear that there were too many Jaguar warriors for the small army to defeat.
Rillion flicked his staff and sent a fireball into the Jaguar's flank.  It erupted
into a flaming explosion of heat and pressure, sending scores of the beast men
flying.  As he did so, the Rabbit gathered a nearby troop and rushed to cut off a
Jaguar offensive.
     The Greek Guy motioned for the trumpeters to sound the retreat.  "Back up the
hill!  Form defensive units.  Skirmishers forward to slow the advance."
     "This is not going well." Rillion commented as he blasted away a row of Jaguars
with a bolt of lightning.
     As he prepared a second bolt, he noticed a large vortex opening nearby.  A
travelling Gate was being opened.  Which meant either more Jaguars, or...?
     A second small army of heavily armored gladiator-soldiers appeared.  At their 
head rode Managerr, on a white stallion, and the Dark One, on his black gelding.
They motioned and their warriors charged into the Jaguar Warriors flank.  The numbers
now more even, the first army charged down the hill.  Within minutes the Jaguar
forces were destroyed.  Only a handful survived to flee back into the cavern.
     "Good timing."  Rascally Rabbit chuckled, his eyebrow arched, "You couldn't have
arrived just a touch sooner?"
     "It took us a while to scout out the ruins of our old training grounds on the
other side of the Kaikwok Gate." Managerr responded, "We stopped by to gather the
second division, as we thought we might need the manpower.  Apparently we were right.
The other side of the old Gate is completely empty.  They are all gone."
     "Gone?  There were millions of beings on that world.  You're telling me that
they're all gone?"
     The Dark One waved his staff and a vision of the Kaikwok Gate world appeared.
It was decimated.  Forests burned and blasted, temples shattered, riverbeds and lakes
dried up and shriveled.  "As he said.  All gone.  We detected residual magic.  Gate
magic.  I am not certain if it was left from an invader that came, exterminated that
world and enslaved what was left of the population or possibly the denizens of that
world developed Gate travel on its own and departed a dying world.  We have no way of
knowing which is the case."
     The Greek Guy received a message from one of the army runners, read it quickly
and motioned to his fellows.  "The engineers are ready."
     He motioned to a figure high up on the cliffside above the cave.  In a moment, a
thunderous explosion shook the ground.  Instantly a shower of boulders, shards of
stone and dirt rained down, burying the cavern opening under half the mountainside.
     Rillion nodded.  "That will do for this Gate access, but I expect there will be

           Three Months Ago -- The Dark Citadel -- Isle of of the Eye

     The Brotherhood of the Blade sat around the titanic obsidian table where they
often planned and plotted together.  This occasion was more serious, however, than
their usual debates over gladiatorial tactics and battle plans.  They were instead
embroiled in a lengthy discourse regarding the ongoing Gate incursions that had been
     "Sheila and her mage council can't figure out how to stop it." Managerr noted.
     "Sheila?"  The Greek Guy chuckled, "First name basis now, are we?"
     Managerr smirked at him.  "They can close the Gate opening when they find it,
but then another one opens somewhere else within a few days.  At some point they are
going to get access in a remote area and we won't find it in time.  If they can move
in a large force, it will be next to impossible to beat them back and close the
access.  It will be a mess."
     "And we still have no idea who is behind this and what's going on." Rillion
     "What we do know is that we don't have enough days in the week to keep running
around closing gates and fighting battles.  We're shorthanded.  Zalgor's missing in
action and Caesar is off-world fighting wars of his own.  Without their forces it's
even worse."  Rascally Rabbit shuffled through his roster.  "I've lost 15% of my
personal troops and I know you all have suffered losses as well."
     Managerr agreed.  "We're definitely short on members.  Mad Max and Tig Toad are
retired.  With Zalgor inactive and Caesar battling Picts or whatnot, we are at five
members.  Just barely enough in normal times and way short in these times."
     "We need to recruit some new members." The Greek Guy stated.  "We have a
tournament coming up and can talk to some managers there.  We need to find those who
are like-minded and who would get along with the rest of us, which is not always
     "Agreed." said the Dark One from beneath his cowl, "We can then announce our new
members.  We need more men and more troops.  I think we all have some candidates in
mind.  First, they must have no other allegiances.  Second, they must have the
martial knowledge we expect from our members.  And, the Greek Guy mentioned, they
have to be able to deal with us."

                        Present Day -- the Isle of the Eye
     One of the arena scribes rushed into the GC headquarters.  "We need 100 runners
to travel to every city in the land.  We're being paid 1,000 gold sovereigns to get
the news out!"
     "What news?"
     "The Brotherhood of the Blade is expanding!!  Here is the announcement!"
              *****                   *****                   *****
     Hear Ye!  Hear Ye!  The Brotherhood of the Blade has chosen to add the following
new members to our ranks.  Effective immediately, the following managers have been
offered and have accepted membership to the Brotherhood:

May their successes be great and their victories many under our banner!

     Officially -- Managerr -- Grand High Moose of the Brotrotherhood of the Blade

       * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                              ---===SLOW ARENA NEWS===---

 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 351): IMA SLAYER of YOU PAY I SLAY (Khisanth, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 348): TAXES of EXPENSE ACCOUNT (Finance Manager, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 301): UDARN VOYL of THE MIDDLE WAY (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 323): ANDROMEDA of DARQUE FORCES (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 318): FROSTY of FAST FOOD (Madwand, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 304): 4-H of LIFE IMPACTS (Coach, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 298): ANASTASIUS of DARQUE AGES (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 283): TONG PAK FU of ASIAN INVASION (Pec Killer, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 276): APPLESEED of IMPROVED ILLUSION (Phantasm, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 252): B'ZIADUL of WRATHMEN XIV (Kharadmon, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 252): FILING FEE of BASH BROS LAWYER (Assurnasirbanipal)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 253): BOOB of PALINDROMES (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  83 TELORINTHE (turn 68): MORIS NAHR of MIDDLE WAY 21 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM 106 CRYSALIS (turn 250): MAD CAT of INSP GADGETS MINIONS (The Mun, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 351): YOU PAY I SLAY (Khisanth, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 348): DODGE BULLETS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 346): THE STORM REAVERS (?, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 301): KIWI CONNECTION (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 322): DARQUE FORCES (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 318): VEGAN CANNIBALS (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 304): THE MYRMIDONS (Sigurd Fafnisbane, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 298): FLOWER GIRLS (Lady Fern, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 283): ASIAN INVASION (Pec Killer, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 276): IMPROVED ILLUSION (Phantasm, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 252): ARENAS III (Kharadmon?, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 252): BASH BROS CANDY (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 253): SUPER STARS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  83 TELORINTHE (turn 68): OLDIES (Coach, mgr.)
 DM 106 CRYSALIS (turn 250): SPARF! et al (Crip, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 348): TAXES of EXPENSE ACCOUNT (Finance Manager, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 300): ASQUITH of KIWI CONNECTION (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 322): CELESTIAL ROSE of DARQUE FORCES (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 318): SALAD SLAYER of VEGAN CANNIBALS (The Anarchist, mgr.)
                   (turn 317): ARTICHOKE ON THIS of VEGAN CANNIBALS (The Anarchist)
                               SPAWN of FANTASTIC FIVE (?, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 303): THRESHPACK of PUBLIC ENEMY (Pec Killer, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 297): SAVAGE SNOWBALL of FLOWER GIRLS (Lady Fern, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 253): BOOB of PALINDROMES (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

     Yes, there is a filing fee for this column.  Lawyers are expensive, every little
thing we do costs money.  Your choices are to not have a lawyer, have one appointed
by the court, or to pay for one.  And having seen the free ones in action, it isn't
clear whether it is better to do it yourself or use them.  What is clear is that your
best choice is to pay.
     So this time around, Assur submitted the fees our firm requires for paperwork
and you see the results.  A column!  Yes, it is a very strange relationship.  He has
to pay us for our firm's services separately from our working on the sands.  And if I
didn't love dueling so much, financially it would make much more sense to do the
lawyer gig full time.  Good lawyers are always in demand.  Bad lawyers not so much.
     Our firm is unique in that we have good lawyers and good fighters!  As Ronarda
has found out the last two turns.  And is it just me or does Ronarda remind others of
another famous fighter, though this one on a soccer field?
     Until next time, if you want your forms submitted, be sure you pay the...

-- Filing Fee

                                      SPY REPORT

     It's me, The Unknown Spymaster, back to give you this week's Spy Report.  Sit 
back in your seats and we'll have more fun than a barrel of Zontanis.  We now have a 
new top team for all of you guys to dogpile on.  BASH BROS CABLE now holds the crown 
and they are betting they can keep it.  Take a look at LHC's act, as they have a 
2-2-0 week and gain 11 places in the team ranking.  BASH BROS CABLE is no joke as it 
posted a 3-0-0 week advancing from 3rd place to 1st place.  Hey everybody, watch out 
for HOME OF THE SLOPPER, who flew up 19 points in the rankings after mashing NAEFAN 
ORDH like a melon.  Keep your eye on this guy.  And falling like a basher in the top 
ten was SUGAR LOW, who dropped 17 points after a disappointing (to say the least) 
bout with NOBEL.  Our battling duelmaster FILING FEE has managed to hold the title, 
fending off RONARDA SOLA's none too subtle advances.  Better luck next time, MIDDLE 
WAY 9.  4 out of 5 gladiators surveyed protect the body, so try and avoid aiming at 
that location.   
     Let's dig a little deeper into what's happening in the DRAGONHEAD arena.  Well 
dang howdy, but if challenges were votes, NAEFAN ORDH would be president.  Although 
it may be a contest he doesn't want to win.   
     Remember that an arena is not always a safe place to be, but it is one of the 
most interesting, though!  Here's some advice:  warriors with little wit and will may 
encounter problems on the trail to the Isle.   
     Well, that wasn't too bad; Alarond told me that the people in DRAGONHEAD have no 
sense of humor.  Or maybe that they were senseless.  Okay, so I may not be the 
world's best comedian, but then you guys aren't the world's best warriors.  Its been 
real, and its been fun, but it hasn't been real fun...-- The Unknown Spymaster  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 FILING FEE 6539              11   1  0   141       BASH BROS LAWYER (730)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 HOME OF THE SLOPPER 6586      7   5  0   123       BASH BROS FAST FOOD (739)
 NAEFAN ORDH 6396             32  11  0   107       MIDDLE WAY 9 (706)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 RUTABAGA 6482                 8   0  0   102       VEGGIES II (721)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 TOO SHORT 6578               10   2  2    87       BASH BROS HAIRCUT (737)
 SERVED 6540                  10   2  1    87       BASH BROS LAWYER (730)
 BOOGER KING 6588             12   0  0    82       BASH BROS FAST FOOD (739)
 RONARDA SOLA 6461            18  13  2    77       MIDDLE WAY 9 (706)
 CANCELLED APPT 6575           8   4  0    75       BASH BROS HAIRCUT (737)
 FREELOADER 6654              10   2  2    71       BASH BROS FRIEND (753)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-OVERRIPE 6630                 6   1  0    66       BASH BROS FRUITSTAND (748)
-MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT 6527      6   1  2    63       BASH BROS CRICKET (727)
-ROTTING 6633                  6   1  0    60       BASH BROS FRUITSTAND (748)
 ALICE 6392                   12  21  0    59       LHC (705)
-2 YEAR CONTRACT 6552          8   1  1    58       BB SMART PHONE (732)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 PUAWAI 6414                   5   0  0    55       KIWI CONNECTION 11 (709)
-BOOK LOST 6666                8   0  0    51       BASH BROS LIBRARY (755)
-CRAWL SPACE 6525              7   0  0    49       BASH BROS CRICKET (727)
-8 AM CLASS 6621               5   0  0    47       BASH BROS COLLEGE (746)
-UNEVEN 6574                   4   0  1    46       BASH BROS HAIRCUT (737)
 PPV 6569                      5   0  0    44       BASH BROS CABLE (736)
-HUMPING LEG 6637              5   2  0    43       BASH BROS DOG (749)
 PAY PER SECOND 6542           7   3  0    36       BASH BROS LAWYER (730)
 BLACK HOLE SUN 6518           7  11  0    35       LHC (705)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-FATTENING 6926                3   0  0    33       BASH BROS CANDY (806)
 NOBEL 6379                    3   0  0    33       KIWI CONNECTION 8 (703)
 POOR SIGNAL STRENGTH 6570     4   1  0    27       BASH BROS CABLE (736)
-HOMEWORK 6620                 2   1  1    27       BASH BROS COLLEGE (746)
 TEMPTATION 6929               3   1  0    25       BASH BROS CANDY (806)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 VARDON WEISS 6813             4   8  0    23       MIDDLE WAY 9 (706)
 SLOW EXPERIMENT 6811          3  10  0    20       LHC (705)
-CRANBY 6376                   1   1  0    20       KIWI CONNECTION 8 (703)
-OVERPRICED 6631               4   3  0    19       BASH BROS FRUITSTAND (748)
-BUYING INNOCENCE 6543         2   2  0    18       BASH BROS LAWYER (730)
-STEALS GIRLFRIEND 6655        2   0  0    18       BASH BROS FRIEND (753)
 FREE TRIAL 6573               3   1  0    17       BASH BROS CABLE (736)
 SUGAR LOW 6930                3   1  0    16       BASH BROS CANDY (806)
-CANCELLATION FEE 6571         1   0  0    16       BASH BROS CABLE (736)
 FULL AND HEAVY 6861           1   0  0    15       BASH BROS DIAPER (793)
 TEENA ULRIK 7241              3   5  0    14       MIDDLE WAY 9 (706)
 MERRITT 6365                  1   1  0    14       KIWI CONNECTION 6 (701)
-CHECKED OUT 6668              1   0  0    13       BASH BROS LIBRARY (755)
 STINKY 6864                   1   0  0    13       BASH BROS DIAPER (793)
 QUANTUM HICCUP 6789           0  13  0    13       LHC (705)
-KORORO 6412                   1   0  0     9       KIWI CONNECTION 11 (709)
-SERVICE OUTTAE 6572           1   0  0     9       BASH BROS CABLE (736)
-TUL 6367                      0   1  0     7       KIWI CONNECTION 6 (701)
 PETRO QUIRK 7498              0   2  0     2       MIDDLE WAY 9 (706)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
VENEMOUS CONCUBI        0  0 0                      TOO SHORT 6578        253  NONE

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Naefan Ordh -- You really aren't afraid of a messy burger, are you... -- Home of the

Ronardo Sola -- Goooooooooooaaaaaaaaaad!  Yes, I win again! -- Filing Fee

Alice -- Your turn to be-- Served (both on the sands and in the court)

Slow Experiment -- Speed is irrelevant when the book you want to find is gone,
missing, stolen, or lost. -- Book Lost

Puawai -- Lucky for me, my performance against you here in Dragonhead is irrelevant.
-- Assur

Teena Ulrik -- Those pants looked very tight on you. -- Fattening

Quantum Hiccup -- No refunds available.  The hiccup in your service is so small and
short that we've determined it does not warrant any refund or discount.  Thanks for
subscribing! -- PPV

Merritt -- We thought the free trial gets them every time.  Apparently, we are wrong.
-- Free Trial

The Mun -- Seems like lately, your warriors have been getting the better of mine.  I
guess I'll take wins where I can, even if Tul loses to one of my 'fun warriors,' and
not one of my 'good ones.' -- Assur

Ah, Assur, we appreciate the meaningless comments!  It gives us something to hang OUR
meaningless comments on. -- Jorja

Home of the Slopper -- Glad to oblige. -- Naefan Ordh

Filing Fee -- And that isn't easy, either! -- Ronarda Sola

Fattening -- Well, I wouldn't want to place myself at risk during a famine, so...
I'll take it! -- Teena Ulrik

Home of the Slopper -- Believe it!  I would REALLY have liked to break your backup,
too, but... maybe next time. -- Naefan Ordh

Filing Fee -- See if I ever let YOU file anything for me. -- Ronarda Sola

Fattening -- Yeah, but I enjoyed it. -- Teena Ulrik

Black Hole Sun -- You and Fattening are made for each other, you know? -- Vardon

Now, THAT was horribly embarrassing.  But not fatal, so I'll get over it. -- Petro

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

HOME OF THE SLOPPER viciously subdued NAEFAN ORDH in a 5 minute Challenge fight.
FILING FEE demolished RONARDA SOLA in a 1 minute one-sided Title melee.
RUTABAGA overpowered VENEMOUS CONCUBINE in a 2 minute mismatched duel.
FREELOADER was bested by M. CHARDINEE in a 2 minute fight.
BOOGER KING outlasted M. CHARDINEE in a crowd pleasing 11 minute bloody match.
SERVED viciously subdued KHALHUMS DWARF in a crowd pleasing 2 minute brutal fight.
CANCELLED APPT bested KUNG-FU MASTER in a 2 minute competition.
TOO SHORT slew VENEMOUS CONCUBINE in a 2 minute gruesome melee.
PPV vanquished SLOW EXPERIMENT in a 1 minute uneven duel.
ALICE overpowered TEMPTATION in a 1 minute uneven duel.
PUAWAI defeated PAY PER SECOND in a 2 minute brutal fight.
SUGAR LOW was handily defeated by NOBEL in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
BLACK HOLE SUN subdued TEENA ULRIK in a 2 minute bloody match.
FREE TRIAL unbelievably bested QUANTUM HICCUP in a exciting 4 minute brutal contest.
MERRITT was bested by VARDON WEISS in a 2 minute bout.
POOR SIGNAL STRENGTH handily defeated PETRO QUIRK in a 1 minute one-sided conflict.
STINKY vanquished CONVICTED THIEF in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
FULL AND HEAVY vanquished PERSISTANT BEGGAR in a 1 minute one-sided fray.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|STRIKING ATTACK                  6         PARRY-STRIKE       2 -   0 -  0     100  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   6         SLASHING ATTACK    1 -   0 -  0     100  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   5         LUNGING ATTACK    46 -  11 -  1      81  |
|AIMED BLOW                       5         TOTAL PARRY       44 -  12 -  0      79  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      3         BASHING ATTACK    50 -  25 -  3      67  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    2         AIMED BLOW        25 -  13 -  1      66  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    1         STRIKING ATTACK   39 -  35 -  0      53  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      0         WALL OF STEEL     13 -  13 -  1      50  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     0         PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -   2 -  0       0  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  0         PARRY-LUNGE        0 -   0 -  0       0  |

Turn 253 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

LUNGING ATTACK     5 -  0     AIMED BLOW         1 -  4         3  LUNGING ATTACK 
STRIKING ATTACK    5 -  1     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  0         2  STRIKING ATTACK
TOTAL PARRY        2 -  1     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  0         2  TOTAL PARRY    
BASHING ATTACK     3 -  3     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  1         2  BASHING ATTACK 
WALL OF STEEL      1 -  1     SLASHING ATTACK    0 -  0         1  WALL OF STEEL  
                                                                1  AIMED BLOW     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
LUNGING ATTACK   FILING FEE 6539            11   1  0  141 BASH BROS LAWYER (730)
TOTAL PARRY      NAEFAN ORDH 6396           32  11  0  107 MIDDLE WAY 9 (706)
WALL OF STEEL    TOO SHORT 6578             10   2  2   87 BASH BROS HAIRCUT (737)
AIMED BLOW       RONARDA SOLA 6461          18  13  2   77 MIDDLE WAY 9 (706)
BASHING ATTACK   FREELOADER 6654            10   2  2   71 BASH BROS FRIEND (753)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is HOME OF THE SLOPPER 6586.  The most popular warrior 
this turn was HOME OF THE SLOPPER 6586.  The ten other most popular fighters were 

The least popular fighter this week was PETRO QUIRK 7498.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were SUGAR LOW 6930, TEMPTATION 6929, SLOW EXPERIMENT 6811, BOOGER 
TEENA ULRIK 7241, and STINKY 6864.