DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 04/17/2014    Duedate: 05/14/2014

DRAGONHEAD ARENA

DM-72    TURN-275

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

KID FUNKY FRIED
DEADLY RAGE (158)
(72-3950) [9-1-0,111]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

KID FUNKY FRIED                MORE LEAVES
DEADLY RAGE (158)              BASH BROS TREES (871)
(72-3950) [9-1-0,111]          (72-7260) [6-1-0,87]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

FREELOADER                     HOPALONG CASSIDY
BASH BROS FRIEND (753)         COWBOY CROONERS (981)
(72-6654) [23-11-2,89]         (72-7839) [4-10-0,33]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

BASH BROS ROADSIDE (788)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. BASH BROS BUS (821)         64
2. BASH BROS LAUNDRY (837)     58      BASH BROS CRICKET (727)
3. BASH BROS SPRING (799)      44      Unchartered Team
4. BASH BROS WINTER (797)      37
5. BASH BROS TREES (871)       36      BASH BROS ROADSIDE (788)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1- 1*BB INFOMERCIAL (969)      11   0  1  100   1/ 5*BASH BROS ROADSIDE (788)  8  3 0
 2- 2*BASH BROS NEWS (951)       6   0  0  100   2- 2*BASH BROS GOLFER (968)    7  1 1
 3- 5*BASH BROS MLM (973)        3   0  0  100   3/ 7*BASH BROS CABLE (736)     7  4 0
 4- 6*BASH BROS TRUCKERS (801)   3   0  0  100   4- 4*BASH BROS DRESSER (945)   6  2 0
 5- 7*BASH BROS VALENTIN (882)   2   0  0  100   5/ 9*BASH BROS BUS (821)       6  3 1
 6-11 VEGGIES II (721)          12   1  0 92.3   6/14*BASH BROS TREES (871)     5  3 0
 7-12*BASH BROS GOLFER (968)    11   1  2 91.7   7- 6*BASH BROS SHEETS (980)    5  3 0
 8/13*BASH BROS ROADSIDE (788)  14   3  0 82.4   8/16*CEREAL (651)              5  4 1
 9/16*BASH BROS CABLE (736)     21   6  0 77.8   9/10 BASH BROS TIRES (796)     5  4 0
10/19 BASH BROS CRICKET (727)   19   6  2 76.0  10/ 3 MIDDLE WAY 9 (706)        5 10 1
11/15*BASH BROS TREES (871)     12   4  0 75.0  11/22*BASH BROS SPRING (799)    4  2 0
12-17*BASH BROS DRESSER (945)    6   2  0 75.0  12/11 DEADLY RAGE (158)         4  5 0
13-18*BB DRIVER LICENSE (977)    3   1  0 75.0  13/25 BASH BROS CRICKET (727)   4  5 0
14/21 BASH BROS LIBRARY (755)   15   6  0 71.4  14- 1*BB INFOMERCIAL (969)      3  0 0
15/23*CEREAL (651)              10   4  1 71.4  15-12*BASH BROS MLM (973)       3  0 0
16/20 MILK IS GOOD (650)        22   9  0 71.0  16-13*BASH BROS TRUCKERS (801)  3  0 0
17-22 BASH BROS LAWYER (730)    45  20  1 69.2  17-15*BB DRIVER LICENSE (977)   3  1 0
18/14*BASH BROS COLLEGE (746)   10   5  1 66.7  18/24*BASH BROS TRAIN (803)     3  4 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19/ 3*BASH BROS BUS (821)        6   3  1 66.7  19/21*BASH BROS WINTER (797)    3  4 0
20/ 9*BASH BROS SPRING (799)     4   2  0 66.7  20/20*BASH BROS COLLEGE (746)   3  4 0
21-24*BASH BROS FENCE (784)      2   1  1 66.7  21/23*BASH BROS LAUNDRY (837)   3  4 0
22/25 BASH BROS FRIEND (753)    29  15  2 65.9  22-19*BASH BROS VALENTIN (882)  2  0 0
23-27*BASH BROS SHEETS (980)     5   3  0 62.5  23- 8*BASH BROS NEWS (951)      2  0 0
24/28 DEADLY RAGE (158)        147 100  9 59.5  24/31 BASH BROS LIBRARY (755)   2  5 0
25/30 BASH BROS TIRES (796)     17  12  0 58.6  25/26 BASH BROS FRIEND (753)    2  5 0
26/ 4*BASH BROS WINTER (797)     5   4  0 55.6  26-18*BASH BROS FENCE (784)     1  0 0
27-31*BASH BROS NURSE (774)      1   1  0 50.0  27-27 VEGGIES II (721)          1  0 0
28/32 MIDDLE WAY 9 (706)       151 171  6 46.9  28-29*BASH BROS NURSE (774)     1  1 0
29/10*BASH BROS TRAIN (803)      3   4  0 42.9  29-28 BASH BROS LAWYER (730)    1  1 0
30/ 8*BASH BROS LAUNDRY (837)    3   4  0 42.9  30/30 MILK IS GOOD (650)        1  6 0
31/33 COWBOY CROONERS (981)     13  34  2 27.7  31/17 COWBOY CROONERS (981)     1  8 0
32-34*BASH BROS GARDENER (975)   0   1  0  0.0  32-33*BASH BROS GARDENER (975)  0  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

       * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                              ---===SLOW ARENA NEWS===---

                                     Duelmasters
                                     -----------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 373): CLYDE D'CLUB of PEASANT REBELLION (Nomad, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 370): EYE BAGS of BASH BROS BODY (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 368): MALICE of ASSASSINATION (Ghab, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 323): MALICE of DARQUE ANGELS (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 345): LAPUR BISQUE of SHEWISH BUFFET (One Armed Bandit, mgr)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 340): WITCHCRAZE of DARQUE FORCES (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 326): NEFARA of PUBLIC ENEMY (Pec Killer, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 320): URSILA RILVAR of MIDDLE WAY 8 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 305): QUI GONG of ASIAN INVASION (Pec Killer, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 298): RATTLER of SERPENTS HOLD (Khisanth, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 274): MUSHROOM of PIZZA TOPPINGS (Warlock, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 274): KID FUNKY FRIED of DEADLY RAGE (Var, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 275): WONTON NOT NOW of PALINDROMES (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  83 TELORINTHE (turn 90): CUSTODIAN of OLDIES (Coach, mgr.)
 DM 106 CRYSALIS (turn 272): BALLIOL BLACKMOON of DRAGONBANE GUILD (Nomad, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
                                      ---------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 373): WEIRD ALCHEMY (La Guillotine, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 370): DODGE BULLETS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 368): BASH BROS OCEAN (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 323): DARQUE ANGELS (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 345): DARQUE FORCES (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 340): GARBAGE PAIL KIDS (Kharadmon, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 326): LIFE IMPACTS (Smitty, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 320): WHERE AM I? (Var, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 305): TRADERS OF TROCAR (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 298): ELDER GODS (Var, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 274): OUTER GODS (Var, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 274): BASH BROS GOLFER (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 275): MIDDLE WAY 18 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  83 TELORINTHE (turn 90): OLDIES (Coach, mgr.)
 DM 106 CRYSALIS (turn 272): CHEERS (Otis, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
                                   ----------------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 373): PORT-A-FORTRESS of THE CHOSEN (Longshot, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 369): KOROSHIYA ICHI of LORD OF DISCIPLINE (Longshot, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 323): MALICE of DARQUE ANGELS (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 340): MANDORALLEN of PAWN OF PROPHECY (Gentleben, mgr.)
                   (turn 339): PETIT JARDINIA of LES TURFISTES (Le Pentarque, mgr.)
                               NORM of CHEERS (Otis, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 298): CHAGUA KORBIN of ISLANDERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 274): MUSHROOM of PIZZA TOPPINGS (Warlock, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 275): WONTON NOT NOW of PALINDROMES (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  83 TELORINTHE (turn 90): CUSTODIAN of OLDIES (Coach, mgr.)
                   (turn 89): CORNELIUS of NONSUCH HOUSE (Dimetras, mgr.)

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

     What am I doing up here?  I didn't want to be up here?  I was just trying to
keep my head low and stay out of the way.  Oh well, I only have one more fight and
then I am done fighting for a while.  My manager says I can sit out the arena duels
and only have to come out for the tourneys.  You boys have fun toiling in this arena
week after week, I'm off for some R&R.

Kid Funky Fried

                                      SPY REPORT

     Thankyouthankyou.  It's great for me, The Unknown Spymaster to be back in 
DRAGONHEAD.  Hope you enjoy the show.  Oh, who am I kidding?  I already got paid!  We 
now have a new top team for all of you guys to dogpile on.  BASH BROS ROADSIDE now 
holds the crown and they are betting they can keep it.  Rising in the ranks like a 
loaf of armored bread (okay, I admit it's corny) is BASH BROS SPRING, who swept up 11 
places in the ranks.  Take a look at BASH BROS CRICKET's act, as they have a 2-0-0 
week and gain 12 places in the team ranking.  A seasoned team is steady in the lists. 
But to COWBOY CROONERS, which fell to 31st, it's what you soak in before going to the 
Dark Arena.  Hey everybody, watch out for LATE, who flew up 24 points in the rankings 
after mashing DANGEROUS CRIMINAL like a melon.  Keep your eye on this guy.  And 
falling like a basher in the top ten was PPV, who dropped 9 points after a 
disappointing (to say the least) bout with RUPERT SAMS.  Well, everybody's pal KID 
FUNKY FRIED moved his record to 9-1-0 by defeating WHOLE in the Duelmaster's Title 
Bout and gaining 15 recognition points.  An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but an 
onion a day keeps T.P.s at bay.   
     Here is other news that is of note.  And hey, kiddies, those of you who didn't 
avoid DEADLY RAGE, please raise you hand.  Wow.  Does DRAGONHEAD really have that 
many liars?  For those of you who like math, try this one:  DEADLY RAGE + Weapons 
That go Boom = BASH BROS FRIEND + Avoid City.  Well just about everybody wants a 
piece of RUPERT SAMS, who was this week's most challenged warrior.   
     Death is kind of like a new puppy:  he's always around wanting to play.  (Ha 
Zontani, how's that for a wise saying?).  We might as well mark the passing of ZILLA 
YANCY, who was relatively new to the arena at 2-1-1.  Probably killed before hers 
first shave.  Here's some advice:  warriors with little wit and will may encounter 
problems on the trail to the Isle.   
     Well, that wasn't too bad; Alarond told me that the people in DRAGONHEAD have no 
sense of humor.  Or maybe that they were senseless.  C'mon, Leadfoot, let's make some 
tracks.  See ya next time I'm on this circuit!-- The Unknown Spymaster  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 KID FUNKY FRIED 3950          9   1  0   111       DEADLY RAGE (158)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-RUTABAGA 6482                12   1  0   118       VEGGIES II (721)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-LEPER MESSIAH 3954           10   3  1   109       DEADLY RAGE (158)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 FREELOADER 6654              23  11  2    89       BASH BROS FRIEND (753)
 WHOLE 5895                   15   4  0    87       MILK IS GOOD (650)
 MORE LEAVES 7260              6   1  0    87       BASH BROS TREES (871)
 RUPERT SAMS 7602             10  11  1    80       MIDDLE WAY 9 (706)
 FLAT 6880                    10   3  0    78       BASH BROS TIRES (796)
 8 AM CLASS 6621               8   0  0    78       BASH BROS COLLEGE (746)
 WHEATIES 5900                 8   0  0    78       CEREAL (651)
-FILING FEE 6539              15   4  0    76       BASH BROS LAWYER (730)
 MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT 6527      9   2  2    73       BASH BROS CRICKET (727)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-ILL NINO 4974                 8   5  0    63       DEADLY RAGE (158)
 VARDON WEISS 6813            12  22  0    59       MIDDLE WAY 9 (706)
 CRAWL SPACE 6525             10   1  0    57       BASH BROS CRICKET (727)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 PPV 6569                      6   2  0    56       BASH BROS CABLE (736)
 TRASH 6840                    5   0  0    56       BASH BROS ROADSIDE (788)
-PAY PER SECOND 6542          13   8  0    53       BASH BROS LAWYER (730)
 OVERGROWN 7263                6   1  0    52       BASH BROS TREES (871)
 BOOK LOST 6666               10   1  0    51       BASH BROS LIBRARY (755)
 POOR SIGNAL STRENGTH 6570     7   1  0    50       BASH BROS CABLE (736)
 KNOWWHENTOFOLDEM 7084         3   0  0    50       BASH BROS LAUNDRY (837)
 LATE 7002                     3   0  0    49       BASH BROS BUS (821)
 ICE 6882                      5   0  0    48       BASH BROS WINTER (797)
 DERAILED 6912                 3   0  0    48       BASH BROS TRAIN (803)
-REPETITIVE 7684               4   0  0    47       BASH BROS NEWS (951)
 POTTY BREAK 6838              5   0  0    42       BASH BROS ROADSIDE (788)
 RAIN 6893                     3   0  0    37       BASH BROS SPRING (799)
-CAN'T CLOSE MOUTH 7772        3   0  0    35       BASH BROS GOLFER (968)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MR RIGHT HANDED 6876          7   6  0    33       BASH BROS TIRES (796)
 HOPALONG CASSIDY 7839         4  10  0    33       COWBOY CROONERS (981)
-FIVE MINUTE SPECIAL 7779      3   0  0    33       BB INFOMERCIAL (969)
 CORN FLAKES 5903              2   1  1    33       CEREAL (651)
-FAKE SALE PRICE 7775          3   0  0    32       BB INFOMERCIAL (969)
 RUDE DRIVER 7001              3   0  1    28       BASH BROS BUS (821)
 PURVIS QUAIL 7835             5  10  0    27       MIDDLE WAY 9 (706)
-KNOWITALLAMATEUR 7770         3   0  1    27       BASH BROS GOLFER (968)
-BLAME THE CLUB 7774           3   0  1    27       BASH BROS GOLFER (968)
-OVERFLOWING 7655              2   0  0    27       BASH BROS DRESSER (945)
-REPLACING 7818                2   0  0    27       BB DRIVER LICENSE (977)
 GENE AUTRY 7838               5   9  2    26       COWBOY CROONERS (981)
 SHOPPING CART 6836            4   1  0    26       BASH BROS ROADSIDE (788)
-REPAIR 6819                   2   1  1    26       BASH BROS FENCE (784)
-SENSATIONALIZED 7683          2   0  0    26       BASH BROS NEWS (951)
-WRINKLED 7830                 2   0  0    26       BASH BROS SHEETS (980)
-MOTHS 7654                    2   0  0    26       BASH BROS DRESSER (945)
-NOT AS ADVERTISED 7776        3   0  0    24       BB INFOMERCIAL (969)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 FREE TRIAL 6573               6   1  0    23       BASH BROS CABLE (736)
-TWO FOR ONE 7777              2   0  1    23       BB INFOMERCIAL (969)
-IN THE WASHER 7833            1   1  0    23       BASH BROS SHEETS (980)
 POLLEN 6894                   1   0  0    21       BASH BROS SPRING (799)
-EXPENSIVE DINNER 7317         1   0  0    21       BASH BROS VALENTINE (882)
 ROY ROGERS 7836               3  11  0    20       COWBOY CROONERS (981)
-DISCOVERY TOYS 7798           1   0  0    20       BASH BROS MLM (973)
-STUCK DRAWER 7657             2   0  0    19       BASH BROS DRESSER (945)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-CAUGHT WITHOUT IT 7817        1   1  0    19       BB DRIVER LICENSE (977)
-BUYING INNOCENCE 6543         2   2  0    18       BASH BROS LAWYER (730)
-UNDONE 7834                   2   0  0    17       BASH BROS SHEETS (980)
-AMWAY 7795                    1   0  0    16       BASH BROS MLM (973)
-WIDE TURN 6902                1   0  0    13       BASH BROS TRUCKERS (801)
-MERGING 6903                  1   0  0    13       BASH BROS TRUCKERS (801)
-BLOCKING EVERYTHING 6901      1   0  0    13       BASH BROS TRUCKERS (801)
-HERBALIFE 7796                1   0  0    11       BASH BROS MLM (973)
-NONE 7314                     1   0  0     9       BASH BROS VALENTINE (882)
-TOO GOOD 6762                 1   0  0     8       BASH BROS NURSE (774)
-BEYOND SLOW 7771              2   1  0     7       BASH BROS GOLFER (968)
-MIA 7252                      0   1  0     7       BASH BROS NURSE (774)
 TOM UNDERWOOD 8148            0   4  0     4       MIDDLE WAY 9 (706)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
CONVICTED THIEF         0  0 0                      RUDE DRIVER 7001      275  NONE
BREAK DOWN 7004         0  1 0 BASH BROS BUS 821    HIGH ELF              275  NONE
FINDING FARE 7005       0  1 0 BASH BROS BUS 821    WURM KIN              275  NONE
NO FOOD OR DRINK 7003   0  1 0 BASH BROS BUS 821    ARENAMASTER           275  NONE
ALONE ON HOLIDAY 6619   0  1 0 BASH BROS COLLEG 746 SPYMASTER             275  NONE
CLOSED COFFEE SH 6623   0  1 0 BASH BROS COLLEG 746 ARENAMASTER           275  NONE
GENERAL ED 6622         0  1 0 BASH BROS COLLEG 746 STONE GOLEM           275  NONE
HOMEWORK 6620           2  2 1 BASH BROS COLLEG 746 STONE GOLEM           275  NONE
PULLS YOUR PLANT 7808   0  1 0 BASH BROS GARDEN 975 ZILLA YANCY 8156      273   
DREAD DAY 7085          0  1 0 BASH BROS LAUNDR 837 DARK CHAMPION         275  NONE
ODORONS 7081            0  1 0 BASH BROS LAUNDR 837 SHEWISH GIANT         275  NONE
ROCKY MOUNTAIN H 7083   0  1 0 BASH BROS LAUNDR 837 BANDIT PRINCE         275  NONE
WRINKLED 7082           0  1 0 BASH BROS LAUNDR 837 SHEWISH GIANT         275  NONE
ROAD KILL 6837          0  1 0 BASH BROS ROADSI 788 BLACK ORC             275  NONE
TIRE DAMAGE 6839        0  1 0 BASH BROS ROADSI 788 BANDIT PRINCE         275  NONE
ALLERGIES 6891          0  1 0 BASH BROS SPRING 799 SPYMASTER             275  NONE
NOTENOUGHVACATIO 6895   0  1 0 BASH BROS SPRING 799 STONE GOLEM           275  NONE
LOUD 6911               0  1 0 BASH BROS TRAIN 803  BLACK ORC             275  NONE
RUNNING LATE 6915       0  1 0 BASH BROS TRAIN 803  MOUNTAIN TROLL        275  NONE
TOILET CLOG 6914        0  1 0 BASH BROS TRAIN 803  STONE GOLEM           275  NONE
TRAFFIC JAM 6913        0  1 0 BASH BROS TRAIN 803  MOUNTAIN TROLL        275  NONE
BIRD DROPPINGS 7262     0  1 0 BASH BROS TREES 871  MOUNTAIN TROLL        275  NONE
ROTTEN FRUIT 7261       0  1 0 BASH BROS TREES 871  MOUNTAIN TROLL        275  NONE
COLD OF THE NIGH 6884   0  1 0 BASH BROS WINTER 797 MOUNTAIN TROLL        275  NONE
FROSTED WINDOW 6885     0  1 0 BASH BROS WINTER 797 DARK CHAMPION         275  NONE
SHOVELING SNOW 6881     0  1 0 BASH BROS WINTER 797 MOUNTAIN TROLL        275  NONE
SNOWED IN 6883          0  1 0 BASH BROS WINTER 797 STONE GOLEM           275  NONE
A 8200                  0  1 0 DEADLY RAGE 158      STONE GOLEM           275  NONE
TEENA ULRIK 7241        9 17 0 MIDDLE WAY 9 706     LAWN DART CATCHI 6308 271  NONE
WALTER VERISE 8149      0  1 0 MIDDLE WAY 9 706     REPAIR 6819           272   
ZILLA YANCY 8156        2  1 1 MIDDLE WAY 9 706     CORN FLAKES 5903      275   

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Sorry, I'm running really short of time today.  (What else is new?  But even shorter
today.)  So no personals from me.  I'll try to do better next time, but no promises,
the new definition of "normal" is a lot busier than the old one.  Or else I'm slowing
down... nah, it couldn't be that! -- Jorja

Kid Funky Fried -- No surprise there.  I was just keeping it warm. -- Freeloader

Rupert Sams -- Big fine for you!  Losing books is a no-no. -- Book Lost

Vardon Weiss -- Your purchase will be on your bill!  Please pay promptly.  Hope you
enjoyed the show. -- PPV

Hopalong Cassidy -- Can't get a straight shot down here -- Crawl Space

Roy Rogers -- Nothing to be ashamed of losing to a tourney warrior in the cold of
winter. -- Ice

Purvis Quail -- After stopping a train, you were a cinch. -- Derailed

Gene Autry -- Pushing me into a ditch?  Was that really necessary? -- Shopping Cart

Zilla Yancy -- I'm beyond slow at almost everything -- Beyond Slow

Tom Underwood -- Wow, you're worse than me!  That is something else!  I'm bland and
bad! -- Corn Flakes

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

HOMEWORK was barely slain by STONE GOLEM in a 2 minute Dark Arena fight.
ROTTEN FRUIT was killed by MOUNTAIN TROLL in a exciting 1 minute Dark Arena melee.
DREAD DAY was slain by DARK CHAMPION in a crowd pleasing 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
ROCKY MOUNTAIN HIGH was butchered by BANDIT PRINCE in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
WRINKLED was killed by SHEWISH GIANT in a 2 minute bloody Dark Arena competition.
ODORONS was dispatched by SHEWISH GIANT in a 2 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
FINDING FARE was killed by WURM KIN in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena brawl.
BREAK DOWN was slain by HIGH ELF in a 2 minute Dark Arena melee.
NO FOOD OR DRINK was slaughtered by ARENAMASTER in a 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
BIRD DROPPINGS was dispatched by MOUNTAIN TROLL in a 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
RUNNING LATE was narrowly killed by MOUNTAIN TROLL in a 2 minute Dark Arena duel.
TOILET CLOG was slain by STONE GOLEM in a 2 minute brutal Dark Arena fight.
TRAFFIC JAM was barely slain by MOUNTAIN TROLL in a popular 1 minute Dark Arena bout.
LOUD was murdered by BLACK ORC in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena competition.
NOTENOUGHVACATION was barely slain by STONE GOLEM in a 2 minute Dark Arena battle.
ALLERGIES was murdered by SPYMASTER in a 1 minute gory Dark Arena brawl.
FROSTED WINDOW was easily killed by DARK CHAMPION in a 1 minute Dark Arena conflict.
COLD OF THE NIGHT was slain by MOUNTAIN TROLL in a 2 minute gory Dark Arena duel.
SNOWED IN was dealt death by STONE GOLEM in a 2 minute Dark Arena duel.
SHOVELING SNOW was put to death by MOUNTAIN TROLL in a 2 minute Dark Arena bout.
TIRE DAMAGE was butchered by BANDIT PRINCE in a 1 minute gory Dark Arena brawl.
ROAD KILL was executed by BLACK ORC in a 1 minute brutal Dark Arena match.
A was executed by STONE GOLEM in a 1 minute Dark Arena match.
CLOSED COFFEE SHOP was assassinated by ARENAMASTER in a 1 minute Dark Arena conflict.
GENERAL ED was dealt death by STONE GOLEM in a 2 minute gory Dark Arena contest.
ALONE ON HOLIDAY was assassinated by SPYMASTER in a 1 minute brutal Dark Arena duel.
KID FUNKY FRIED overpowered WHOLE in a 1 minute uneven Title fray.
WHEATIES viciously subdued CONVICTED ASSASSIN in a tiring 9 minute brutal contest.
MORE LEAVES overpowered VETERAN MERCENARY in a 1 minute uneven fight.
RUPERT SAMS overpowered PPV in a 1 minute uneven fight.
8 AM CLASS defeated VARDON WEISS in a exciting 1 minute bout.
FREELOADER viciously subdued VETERAN MERCENARY in a action packed 2 minute bout.
MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT savagely defeated CONVICTED ASSASSIN in a exciting 1 minute fray.
FLAT won victory over VETERAN MERCENARY in a popular 1 minute bout.
TRASH savagely defeated FRATSFA SLAVE in a action packed 1 minute gory duel.
ICE beat THE USEROUS MERCHANT in a popular 4 minute gory match.
POTTY BREAK beat PURVIS QUAIL in a exciting 3 minute novice vs. expert upset bout.
BOOK LOST outwaited THE USEROUS MERCHANT in a unpopular 16 minute fight.
OVERGROWN demolished FRATSFA SLAVE in a exciting 1 minute mismatched match.
DERAILED handily defeated GENE AUTRY in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
POOR SIGNAL STRENGTH demolished CAPTURED ORC in a 1 minute one-sided conflict.
CRAWL SPACE outwaited HOPALONG CASSIDY in a popular 8 minute bout.
RAIN vanquished ROY ROGERS in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
MR RIGHT HANDED demolished CULT MEMBER in a 1 minute uneven competition.
LATE overpowered DANGEROUS CRIMINAL in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
KNOWWHENTOFOLDEM vanquished DANGEROUS CRIMINAL in a exciting 1 minute mismatched duel.
FREE TRIAL outwaited TOM UNDERWOOD in a tiring 7 minute conflict.
RUDE DRIVER butchered CONVICTED THIEF in a 1 minute mismatched match.
SHOPPING CART handily defeated PERSISTANT BEGGAR in a 1 minute one-sided conflict.
CORN FLAKES executed ZILLA YANCY in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
POLLEN overpowered EMBEZZLING SCRIBE in a 1 minute gory one-sided duel.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|BASHING ATTACK                  26         PARRY-RIPOSTE     10 -   4 -  0      71  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                  10         TOTAL PARRY       19 -   9 -  1      68  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  7         PARRY-LUNGE       23 -  13 -  0      64  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      5         LUNGING ATTACK    44 -  25 -  3      64  |
|AIMED BLOW                       4         AIMED BLOW        32 -  19 -  2      63  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    3         WALL OF STEEL     17 -  12 -  1      59  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  2         STRIKING ATTACK   40 -  30 -  2      57  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         SLASHING ATTACK   12 -  14 -  0      46  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    1         BASHING ATTACK    33 -  46 -  0      42  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      1         PARRY-STRIKE       5 -   7 -  0      42  |

Turn 275 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  0     STRIKING ATTACK    2 -  5         3  LUNGING ATTACK 
WALL OF STEEL      1 -  0     BASHING ATTACK     4 - 22         2  SLASHING ATTACK
TOTAL PARRY        4 -  1     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  1         2  BASHING ATTACK 
AIMED BLOW         3 -  1                                       2  TOTAL PARRY    
LUNGING ATTACK     7 -  3                                       1  STRIKING ATTACK
PARRY-RIPOSTE      2 -  1                                       1  AIMED BLOW     
SLASHING ATTACK    1 -  1     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
LUNGING ATTACK   KID FUNKY FRIED 3950        9   1  0  111 DEADLY RAGE (158)
BASHING ATTACK   FREELOADER 6654            23  11  2   89 BASH BROS FRIEND (753)
TOTAL PARRY      WHOLE 5895                 15   4  0   87 MILK IS GOOD (650)
AIMED BLOW       FLAT 6880                  10   3  0   78 BASH BROS TIRES (796)
STRIKING ATTACK  TRASH 6840                  5   0  0   56 BASH BROS ROADSIDE (788)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    DERAILED 6912               3   0  0   48 BASH BROS TRAIN (803)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is FREELOADER 6654.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was HOPALONG CASSIDY 7839.  The ten other most popular fighters were ICE 6882, 
HOMEWORK 6620, RUNNING LATE 6915, FREELOADER 6654, PURVIS QUAIL 7835, TOILET CLOG 
6914, NOTENOUGHVACATION 6895, MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT 6527, TRASH 6840, and 
KNOWWHENTOFOLDEM 7084.

The least popular fighter this week was BOOK LOST 6666.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were FREE TRIAL 6573, WHEATIES 5900, CRAWL SPACE 6525, ZILLA YANCY 8156, ROY 
ROGERS 7836, PPV 6569, WHOLE 5895, ALONE ON HOLIDAY 6619, CLOSED COFFEE SHOP 6623, 
and A 8200.

The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:

VIRUS (72-6547) BASH BROS MICROSOFT (731)