DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER
Date : 03/01/2018 Duedate: 03/28/2018
DRAGONHEAD ARENA
DM-72 TURN-324
This Weeks Top Honors
THE DUELMASTER IS
SIX-GUN TAROT
ON MY BOOKSHELF (1126)
(72-8680) [12-5-0,127]
Chartered Recognition Leader Unchartered Recognition Leader
SIX-GUN TAROT BLAME THE CLUB
ON MY BOOKSHELF (1126) BASH BROS GOLFER (968)
(72-8680) [12-5-0,127] (72-7774) [6-1-1,64]
Popularity Leader This Weeks Favorite
SIX-GUN TAROT ETERNAL REST
ON MY BOOKSHELF (1126) FEAR FACTORY 2 (1117)
(72-8680) [12-5-0,127] (72-8626) [12-3-0,101]
THE CURRENT TOP TEAM
BASH BROS GOLFER (968)
TEAMS ON THE MOVE TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name Point Gain Chartered Team
1. FEAR FACTORY 30 (1290) 42
2. X-POSSE 2 (1323) 32 BB REALITY SHOW (824)
3. FEAR FACTORY 2 (1117) 28 Unchartered Team
4. FEAR FACTORY 28 (1292) 24
5. BASH BROS NURSE (774) 21 (-1)
The Top Teams
Career Win-Loss Record W L K % Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns W L K
1/ 0*FEAR FACTORY 28 (1292) 2 0 0 100 1/ 1*BASH BROS GOLFER (968) 14 1 0
2/ 0*FEAR FACTORY 30 (1290) 2 0 0 100 2/ 3 BASH BROS REMOTE (960) 9 2 0
3/ 0*FEAR FACTORY 21 (1209) 1 0 0 100 3/ 2 BASH BROS LIGHTS (1021) 8 6 0
4/ 1 BB REALITY SHOW (824) 23 2 1 92.0 4/11 BASH BROS BUS (821) 5 1 2
5/ 2 BASH BROS OLYMPIC (1039) 36 7 2 83.7 5/12 BASH BROS OLYMPIC (1039) 5 1 1
6/ 3*BASH BROS GOLFER (968) 31 7 2 81.6 6/ 4 BASH BROS B-MOVIE (1025) 5 1 0
7- 4 BASH BROS CONDO (979) 42 10 2 80.8 7/ 5 BASH BROS BROTHER (1022) 4 2 0
8/ 5 BASH BROS BUS (821) 37 9 3 80.4 8/18 BB REALITY SHOW (824) 3 0 0
9/ 6 BASH BROS BROTHER (1022) 24 6 0 80.0 9/22 FEAR FACTORY 2 (1117) 3 1 0
10/ 9 BASH BROS HAIRCUT (737) 42 13 4 76.4 10/ 6 FEAR FACTORY 3 (1116) 3 2 0
11/ 8 BASH BROS FAST FOO (739) 45 15 1 75.0 11/13 BASH BROS BEER (966) 3 3 0
12-12 BASH BROS GAS (989) 36 12 2 75.0 12- 7 X-POSSE (579) 3 7 0
13/11 BASH BROS NEWS (951) 49 17 0 74.2 13- 8 BASH BROS CONDO (979) 2 0 1
14/10 BASH BROS B-MOVIE (1025) 23 8 1 74.2 14/23 ON MY BOOKSHELF (1126) 2 0 0
15/ 7 BASH BROS LIGHTS (1021) 43 17 0 71.7 15-17*H IS FOR HIPPO (1266) 2 0 0
16/14 BASH BROS REMOTE (960) 61 28 3 68.5 16/ 0*FEAR FACTORY 30 (1290) 2 0 0
17-15 BB SIDE MIRROR (1000) 20 10 0 66.7 17/ 0*FEAR FACTORY 28 (1292) 2 0 0
18/13 BASH BROS DISEASE (1031) 20 10 0 66.7 18/ 9 BASH BROS NEWS (951) 2 1 0
Career Win-Loss Record W L K % Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns W L K
19/16 BASH BROS TRAIN (803) 30 17 0 63.8 19/32 DEADLY RAGE (158) 2 1 0
20/17 BASH BROS BEER (966) 36 22 0 62.1 20/21 BASH BROS HAIRCUT (737) 2 1 0
21/20 FEAR FACTORY 2 (1117) 21 14 0 60.0 21/10 BASH BROS TRAIN (803) 2 1 0
22/19 BASH BROS FRUIT (997) 12 8 0 60.0 22/ 0*X-POSSE 2 (1323) 2 3 1
23/ 0*FEAR FACTORY 25 (1295) 4 3 0 57.1 23/26 FEAR FACTORY 19 (1211) 2 3 0
24/21 DEADLY RAGE (158) 175 144 10 54.9 24/14*BASH BROS NURSE (774) 2 4 0
25/22*BASH BROS NURSE (774) 5 5 0 50.0 25-16 BASH BROS GAS (989) 1 0 1
26/36*J IS FOR JACK (1268) 1 1 0 50.0 26/ 0*FEAR FACTORY 21 (1209) 1 0 0
27-23 X-POSSE (579) 74 91 1 44.8 27/ 0 FEAR FACTORY 18 (1212) 1 0 0
28-24*H IS FOR HIPPO (1266) 4 5 0 44.4 28/ 0*FEAR FACTORY 25 (1295) 1 0 0
29/ 0 FEAR FACTORY 18 (1212) 7 9 1 43.8 29-20 BB SIDE MIRROR (1000) 1 1 0
30/25 ON MY BOOKSHELF (1126) 52 68 2 43.3 30/36*J IS FOR JACK (1268) 1 1 0
31/26 FEAR FACTORY 3 (1116) 13 17 1 43.3 31/24*FEAR FACTORY 31 (1307) 1 1 0
32/ 0*X-POSSE 2 (1323) 2 3 1 40.0 32-25*FEAR FACTORY 39 (1315) 1 1 0
33/27 FEAR FACTORY 4 (1115) 6 10 0 37.5 33/31 FEAR FACTORY 9 (1146) 1 2 0
34/28 VAR'S FAV BARS (1127) 43 75 2 36.4 34/28 BASH BROS FRUIT (997) 1 2 0
35/ 0 FEAR FACTORY 16 (1153) 11 21 0 34.4 35/19 BASH BROS DISEASE (1031) 1 2 0
36/30 FEAR FACTORY 9 (1146) 9 22 0 29.0 36/29 BASH BROS FAST FOO (739) 1 2 0
37-31*FEAR FACTORY 39 (1315) 2 5 0 28.6 37/33*FEAR FACTORY 29 (1291) 1 3 0
38/29*FEAR FACTORY 31 (1307) 2 5 0 28.6 38/15 VAR'S FAV BARS (1127) 1 4 0
39/32*FEAR FACTORY 29 (1291) 3 9 0 25.0 39/ 0*UNLIKELY HEROES (1325) 0 3 0
40/33 FEAR FACTORY 19 (1211) 6 29 0 17.1 40/30 FEAR FACTORY 4 (1115) 0 3 0
41/ 0*GRIZZLED VETERANS (1285) 0 3 0 0.0 41/ 0*GRIZZLED VETERANS (1285) 0 1 0
42/ 0*UNLIKELY HEROES (1325) 0 3 0 0.0 42/ 0 FEAR FACTORY 16 (1153) 0 1 0
43/ 0*30TH DIRE LANCERS (1316) 0 1 0 0.0 43/ 0*30TH DIRE LANCERS (1316) 0 1 0
'*' Unchartered team '-' Team did not fight this turn
(###) Avoid teams by their Team Id ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank
SPY REPORT
I was going on vacation, see? Surf, sun... But what do those bums say? "Hit
the road, Debby Tonte. DRAGONHEAD needs a spyreport." Oh, well. FEAR FACTORY 2 had
like a really albendranius week! Those hunks got a 2-0-0 and wound up as 9th team!
I couldn't believe it. Did DEADLY RAGE really go up by 13? If only those guys
didn't have so may missing teeth... Gross! See if I even talk to any of those
losers in BASH BROS TRAIN again! Didja see where they got 0-1-0? Somebody musta won
a lotta fights! Wanna hear about a real loser? Listen to this--BASH BROS DISEASE
got 0-1-0 and dropped 16. Didn't see much of them after the fights! MVP award for
ALDER WRAITH? FEAR FACTORY 30's proud of him after beating TARHA and getting 29
points. Talk about yer big time losers! NOT NEWS got smashed by KHALHUMS DWARF, and
lost 28 points! The Duelmaster isn't going to stop just cause he's Number One!
BLACK ORC knows this. He was Dark Arena Challenged by the Duelmaster. Don't you
think the Duelmaster is being unfair? I think LATE should let BLACK ORC be
Duelmaster for a while, without fighting about it. Is the Duelmaster really being a
real snob to his teammates? Don't ask me!
I gotta admit I haven't been in "deep con caves" with any spies. Really, I just
wing this stuff. X-POSSE was DRAGONHEAD's most avoided team. Is there some award
for that? Hhmph! What kind of warriors are BASH BROS NURSE? X-POSSE, an easy team
to beat if I ever saw one, can't get them to accept an invitation!
What does a fighter fight for? I mean, the crowds don't give a hoot if someone
gets killed. Not after four more fights. Like, who is this guy??? LATE gets sent
to the Dark Arena, battles BLACK ORC, and returns to tell of it!!! I bet BASH BROS
BUS manager is surprised! Pinch me, I must be dreaming!!! BIASED JUDGES returns
from the Dark Arena, maybe a "little upset" at his BASH BROS OLYMPICS teammates...
Hey you guys, don't you think your families would like to hear from you? Write! (Or
have someone write for you.)
I really didn't, you know, study when I was a kid. Who would've guessed I'd be
a famous Spyreporter? I'm getting tired of writing this stuff, so I'm calling it
quits. Its been really albendranius! Later, guys-- Debby Tonte
DUELMASTER W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
SIX-GUN TAROT 8680 12 5 0 127 ON MY BOOKSHELF (1126)
CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
LITHIUM 8234 17 24 1 118 DEADLY RAGE (158)
BORROWS MONEY 8055 13 1 0 116 BASH BROS BROTHER (1022)
TRUTH HURTS 8627 9 5 0 115 FEAR FACTORY 2 (1117)
RUDE DRIVER 7001 17 5 1 105 BASH BROS BUS (821)
ETERNAL REST 8626 12 3 0 101 FEAR FACTORY 2 (1117)
BAD SPECIAL EFFECTS 8069 12 3 0 95 BASH BROS B-MOVIES (1025)
-DROP AND BREAK 7730 13 5 0 94 BASH BROS REMOTE (960)
MISSED STOP 8276 17 9 0 92 BASH BROS TRAIN (803)
LESS TASTE 7764 20 9 0 91 BASH BROS BEER (966)
CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
BOOGER KING 6588 24 9 0 89 BASH BROS FAST FOOD (739)
NOT NEWS 7687 12 6 0 88 BASH BROS NEWS (951)
BRIGHT 8050 10 5 0 86 BASH BROS LIGHTS (1021)
MAKESMELOOKBAD 8052 11 5 0 85 BASH BROS BROTHER (1022)
FLASHPOINT 8622 10 7 0 85 FEAR FACTORY 3 (1116)
-FLICKERING 8048 14 0 0 81 BASH BROS LIGHTS (1021)
HEART 8101 13 8 0 80 BASH BROS DISEASE (1031)
NOT THE REAL THING 7762 16 13 0 79 BASH BROS BEER (966)
OUT OF BATTERIES 7732 14 6 1 77 BASH BROS REMOTE (960)
-MAGIK 5917 8 6 0 74 X-POSSE (579)
DEATH RATTLE 8618 6 6 0 74 FEAR FACTORY 4 (1115)
YOUR LAST NIGHT 9188 7 7 1 72 FEAR FACTORY 18 (1212)
TAKENOUTOFTHEROOM 7731 13 7 0 69 BASH BROS REMOTE (960)
CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
BLAME THE CLUB 7774 6 1 1 64 BASH BROS GOLFER (968)
CHEMICAL SMELL 7875 7 1 0 61 BASH BROS HAIRCUT (737)
MOLDY 7930 10 6 0 60 BASH BROS FRUIT (997)
BAD SCRIPT 8068 10 4 1 58 BASH BROS B-MOVIES (1025)
NO BATTERIES 7733 11 5 1 57 BASH BROS REMOTE (960)
ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
CAN'T CLOSE MOUTH 7772 7 2 0 55 BASH BROS GOLFER (968)
DIM 8047 6 2 0 52 BASH BROS LIGHTS (1021)
-HYACINTH 9549 3 0 0 50 H IS FOR HIPPO (1266)
TOMMYKNOCKERS 9210 9 20 1 48 VAR'S FAV BARS (1127)
MIA 7252 3 2 0 47 BASH BROS NURSE (774)
-UNEVEN 6574 4 0 1 46 BASH BROS HAIRCUT (737)
-STUPID CONTESTANT 7018 4 1 1 43 BB REALITY SHOW (824)
REPROBATE 9806 3 0 1 43 FEAR FACTORY 3 (1116)
APES OF WRATH 8827 9 15 0 42 FEAR FACTORY 9 (1146)
KNOWITALLAMATEUR 7770 7 2 1 39 BASH BROS GOLFER (968)
-ICE OVER 9800 3 1 0 36 FEAR FACTORY 19 (1211)
BEYOND SLOW 7771 7 2 0 35 BASH BROS GOLFER (968)
KILL THE LYCAN 8893 5 3 0 34 FEAR FACTORY 16 (1153)
CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
SEVERA LE DOUX 9775 4 3 0 33 FEAR FACTORY 25 (1295)
NONSTANDARD 8051 7 8 0 31 BASH BROS LIGHTS (1021)
THE RED SHORE 9180 3 21 0 30 FEAR FACTORY 19 (1211)
ALDER WRAITH 9745 1 0 0 29 FEAR FACTORY 30 (1290)
CHEATER 7773 4 0 0 25 BASH BROS GOLFER (968)
INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
GHOSTFIRE BLADE 9905 1 2 0 22 FEAR FACTORY 31 (1307)
HARD TO REACH 8049 6 2 0 20 BASH BROS LIGHTS (1021)
-DOMINO 9959 3 3 0 18 X-POSSE (579)
-SLAUGHTER CRY 9948 2 1 0 18 FEAR FACTORY 39 (1315)
INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
SAVAGE 10062 1 0 1 16 X-POSSE 2 (1323)
O' LANTERN 9558 1 1 0 15 J IS FOR JACK (1268)
NECROSKITTER 9904 1 0 0 15 FEAR FACTORY 28 (1292)
WHISPER CRAFT 9749 0 4 0 14 FEAR FACTORY 29 (1291)
BLOOD & MILK 9963 1 0 0 13 FEAR FACTORY 29 (1291)
-ICARUS 9974 1 1 0 13 X-POSSE (579)
ZERO VIXEN 9743 1 0 0 13 FEAR FACTORY 30 (1290)
LARK 10059 1 0 0 13 X-POSSE 2 (1323)
-TRAGICALLY HIPPO 9701 1 0 0 13 H IS FOR HIPPO (1266)
TOO GOOD 6762 2 3 0 9 BASH BROS NURSE (774)
KAIGE CLOVEN 9762 1 0 0 9 FEAR FACTORY 28 (1292)
-SNARECASTER 9906 1 0 0 9 FEAR FACTORY 31 (1307)
FOR THE WRETCHED 9171 1 0 0 7 FEAR FACTORY 21 (1209)
-TERRIBLE HOST 7019 0 1 0 7 BB REALITY SHOW (824)
-LENFREA 9705 0 2 0 6 GRIZZLED VETERANS II (1285)
TARHA 9955 0 1 0 5 30TH DIRE LANCERS (1316)
DUNJO 9708 0 1 0 5 GRIZZLED VETERANS II (1285)
BLOODY CARDINAL 10058 0 1 0 1 X-POSSE 2 (1323)
TARRA 10061 0 1 0 1 X-POSSE 2 (1323)
BANE 10060 0 1 0 1 X-POSSE 2 (1323)
PROJECT A 10072 0 1 0 1 UNLIKELY HEROES (1325)
-SHARD 10057 0 1 0 1 X-POSSE (579)
'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.
THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN Revenge?
PERSISTANT BEGGA 0 0 0 SAVAGE 10062 324 NONE
LONG LINES 7537 11 14 0 BASH BROS DMV 924 TOMMYKNOCKERS 9210 321
LOST IN COUCH 7734 10 5 1 BASH BROS REMOTE 960 UNDERDOG 6250 320 NONE
DA1 10076 0 1 0 UNLIKELY HEROES 1325 WURM KIN 324 NONE
DA2 10075 0 1 0 UNLIKELY HEROES 1325 SPYMASTER 324 NONE
CATWALK 9880 2 3 0 X-POSSE 579 SHOPPING CART 6836 320 NONE
MIRAGE 9970 0 1 0 X-POSSE 579 REPROBATE 9806 321
PERSONAL ADS
LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS
LATE butchered BLACK ORC in a crowd pleasing 1 minute gruesome Dark Arena fight.
BIASED JUDGES savagely slew WURM KIN in a exciting 3 minute gory Dark Arena melee.
DA2 was slaughtered by SPYMASTER in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena brawl.
DA1 was assassinated by WURM KIN in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
UNREALITY demolished DEATH RATTLE in a 1 minute mismatched competition.
FLASHPOINT was vanquished by RUDE DRIVER in a exciting 1 minute mismatched fight.
SIX-GUN TAROT devastated MISSED STOP in a 1 minute one-sided Title competition.
LITHIUM handily defeated NOT THE REAL THING in a 1 minute uneven melee.
ANNOYING ANNOUNCERS vanquished VENEMOUS CONCUBINE in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
TRUTH HURTS vanquished HEART in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
NOT NEWS was luckily beaten by KHALHUMS DWARF in a 2 minute gory veteran's melee.
BRIGHT was subdued by KHALHUMS DWARF in a crowd pleasing 3 minute match.
BORROWS MONEY handily defeated KHALHUMS DWARF in a 1 minute one-sided contest.
BAD SPECIAL EFFECTS overpowered KUNG-FU MASTER in a 1 minute mismatched conflict.
MAKESMELOOKBAD viciously subdued VETERAN MERCENARY in a 2 minute bloody bout.
LESS TASTE vanquished VENEMOUS CONCUBINE in a 1 minute one-sided fray.
OUT OF BATTERIES was devastated by KHALHUMS DWARF in a 1 minute mismatched brawl.
BOOGER KING was savagely defeated by ETERNAL REST in a 3 minute veteran's bout.
YOUR LAST NIGHT luckily beat DIM in a crowd pleasing 1 minute fight.
TAKENOUTOFTHEROOM devastated KILL THE LYCAN in a popular 1 minute one-sided contest.
BAD SCRIPT lost to M. CHARDINEE in a 2 minute match.
BLAME THE CLUB was savagely defeated by M. CHARDINEE in a 3 minute gruesome fray.
CAN'T CLOSE MOUTH handily defeated FRATSFA SLAVE in a 1 minute one-sided contest.
APES OF WRATH was demolished by NO BATTERIES in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
KNOWITALLAMATEUR slimly won victory over THE RED SHORE in a popular 1 minute match.
CHEMICAL SMELL vanquished CAPTURED ORC in a exciting 1 minute one-sided fight.
MOLDY overpowered FRATSFA SLAVE in a 1 minute uneven duel.
NONSTANDARD was savagely defeated by REPROBATE in a exciting 2 minute bloody fray.
TOMMYKNOCKERS was viciously subdued by MIA in a 1 minute gory bout.
HARD TO REACH was defeated by SEVERA LE DOUX in a action packed 2 minute duel.
BEYOND SLOW luckily beat GHOSTFIRE BLADE in a exciting 3 minute gory match.
WHISPER CRAFT was savagely defeated by O' LANTERN in a exciting 1 minute gory bout.
CHEATER handily defeated DUNJO in a 1 minute mismatched match.
TOO GOOD lost to KAIGE CLOVEN in a 3 minute amateur's fight.
FOR THE WRETCHED savagely defeated BANE in a exciting 1 minute amateur's match.
ALDER WRAITH overpowered TARHA in a 1 minute bloody one-sided match.
NECROSKITTER demolished TARRA in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
ZERO VIXEN overpowered BLOODY CARDINAL in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
BLOOD & MILK viciously subdued PROJECT A in a crowd pleasing 4 minute gruesome match.
SAVAGE executed PERSISTANT BEGGAR in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
LARK vanquished CONVICTED THIEF in a 1 minute mismatched duel.
BATTLE REPORT
MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS
|FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT|
|AIMED BLOW 11 PARRY-LUNGE 55 - 16 - 1 77 |
|LUNGING ATTACK 10 BASHING ATTACK 68 - 39 - 5 64 |
|BASHING ATTACK 10 STRIKING ATTACK 69 - 47 - 3 59 |
|STRIKING ATTACK 9 AIMED BLOW 52 - 46 - 2 53 |
|TOTAL PARRY 8 TOTAL PARRY 39 - 38 - 1 51 |
|PARRY-LUNGE 6 LUNGING ATTACK 80 - 79 - 4 50 |
|WALL OF STEEL 6 PARRY-STRIKE 5 - 7 - 1 42 |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE 2 WALL OF STEEL 25 - 41 - 4 38 |
|SLASHING ATTACK 1 SLASHING ATTACK 6 - 10 - 0 38 |
|PARRY-STRIKE 0 PARRY-RIPOSTE 6 - 11 - 0 35 |
Turn 324 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are:
STRIKING ATTACK 8 - 1 BASHING ATTACK 3 - 7 4 STRIKING ATTACK
PARRY-LUNGE 5 - 1 TOTAL PARRY 2 - 6 2 AIMED BLOW
AIMED BLOW 7 - 4 PARRY-STRIKE 0 - 0 2 PARRY-LUNGE
LUNGING ATTACK 6 - 4 PARRY-RIPOSTE 0 - 2 1 BASHING ATTACK
WALL OF STEEL 3 - 3 SLASHING ATTACK 0 - 1 1 LUNGING ATTACK
1 TOTAL PARRY
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE
FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME
STRIKING ATTACK SIX-GUN TAROT 8680 12 5 0 127 ON MY BOOKSHELF (1126)
PARRY-LUNGE BORROWS MONEY 8055 13 1 0 116 BASH BROS BROTHER (1022)
AIMED BLOW RUDE DRIVER 7001 17 5 1 105 BASH BROS BUS (821)
BASHING ATTACK MISSED STOP 8276 17 9 0 92 BASH BROS TRAIN (803)
LUNGING ATTACK LESS TASTE 7764 20 9 0 91 BASH BROS BEER (966)
TOTAL PARRY BOOGER KING 6588 24 9 0 89 BASH BROS FAST FOOD (739)
WALL OF STEEL NOT THE REAL THING 7762 16 13 0 79 BASH BROS BEER (966)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.
The overall popularity leader is SIX-GUN TAROT 8680. The most popular warrior this
turn was ETERNAL REST 8626. The ten other most popular fighters were GHOSTFIRE BLADE
9905, BRIGHT 8050, REPROBATE 9806, SEVERA LE DOUX 9775, BLOOD & MILK 9963, NOT NEWS
7687, MAKESMELOOKBAD 8052, TOO GOOD 6762, FOR THE WRETCHED 9171, and BORROWS MONEY
8055.
The least popular fighter this week was PROJECT A 10072. The other ten least popular
fighters were BLOODY CARDINAL 10058, TARRA 10061, TARHA 9955, BANE 10060, DUNJO 9708,
HARD TO REACH 8049, TOMMYKNOCKERS 9210, APES OF WRATH 8827, KILL THE LYCAN 8893, and
HEART 8101.
The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:
SIX-GUN TAROT (72-8680) ON MY BOOKSHELF (1126)
The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn:
LATE (72-7002) BASH BROS BUS (821)
UNREALITY (72-7016) BB REALITY SHOW (824)
BIASED JUDGES (72-8153) BASH BROS OLYMPICS (1039)
ANNOYING ANNOUNCERS (72-8154) BASH BROS OLYMPICS (1039)
SUMMER FACE-TO-FACE IN ARLINGTON, VIRGINIA
We have planned our summer FTF for July 13-15, 2018, in Arlington, Virginia, only 7
miles on a quick Metro ride from Washington, D.C.!. It will be held at the Holiday
Inn Arlington at Ballston. Room rates are $79 per night on 7/12 and 7/15 and $129 on
7/13 and 7/14, 1-2 occupancy. There's free wireless throughout the property as well
as a fitness center, outdoor pool, and business center, as well as a resturant and bar
inside the hotel. There is no airport shuttle and parking is $7/day. The rooms are
blocked -- ask for the Reality Simulations block. Reservations must be made by 6/12.
(As always if you have issues making reservations, please let us know!)
Hotel site: http://www.hiarlington.com
Look for the tournament info sheet and minioverviews some time in June. We hope
you're all looking forward to it and that we will see you there!
-- RSI
Mission to the Twisted Lands
Episode One
Old Brown could run pretty fast if properly motivated, but mostly he walked with
a long-legged, distance-devouring stride. He was a huge horse, a half-giant's
warhorse, shaggy and self-assured, with muscles like half-buried boulders in his
shoulders and hips. Lounging in the saddle was the motivating force, the half-giant,
Keel Woodhaven. Although in his mind he was slouching and half-asleep, he sat up
straight in the saddle since that is more comfortable for riding.
It was twilight, stars coming out above and lights in farmhouse windows below.
They traveled through vineyards, brown and fallow now in the winter, descending gently
toward the tree-crowded coast. The distant trees, not just pines, were green. They
stayed green because the marsh that surrounded the city-state of Bonsur had hot
springs in it.
Keel Woodhaven had always liked Bonsur. It had a relaxed feel about it, the
women seemed prettier, the music was great, everyone thought about having fun. And
the booze was excellent, of course. He passed the arena at the edge of town, and
paused to read the current statistics, posted on the gate and lit by a lantern. So,
an elven cobbler was the Duelmaster? Why would a shoemaker take up such a painful
profession? Then he noticed the team name: Shewish Picnic. He snorted. That
explained it, all right. As a half-Shew, he was kind of bothered by that team theme,
which was present in Home Guard as well. It was sort of funny though. He saw that
Elf Cobbler was headed for the Isle. Probably not bound for Home Guard just yet,
though.
They passed a small chicken ranch. A rooster uttered an untimely crow. At about
that time, Old Brown took exception to something and bolted. Cussing, Keel hauled on
the reins, to little effect since the horse was stronger than him and apparently
frightened. He didn't see the masked men coming out of their hiding places behind
him, looking frustrated. At least not until a crossbow bolt thunked into the backside
of his leather cuirass. His horse screamed and ran faster.
Hauling Old Brown to the left as they passed a set of big open gates into a well-
lighted courtyard, Keel got them behind the shelter of the high stone wall, and patted
the horse's sweaty neck. "You're okay now, friend. I'll go take care of those
bozos."
As he dismounted, he noticed he was becoming surrounded by uniformed men, some
with swords and some with halberds.
"Howdy?" he said, hoping they were friendly.
"Your horse has been shot," said someone, pointing at a bolt sticking out of Old
Brown's butt.
"Well damn!" Keel laid a comforting hand on the horse's flank, which quivered.
"So have you," the guard continued.
"Yeah, thought so. Doesn't feel like it got through the armor though." Keel
tried to look over his shoulder, but could only see the feathered end of the bolt.
"Who are you guys?"
"We are the Queen's Guard."
"What? Queen Gemra? Okay, please take care of Old Brown here, and I'll go find
the ***holes that shot him."
"Sir, you are mistaken. You will be taken to a doctor. We will arrest the
assailants."
"Hey! I'm on a mission from Sheila Greywand. Anyway, they shot my horse. My
HORSE! I'm gonna get 'em." Unslinging his huge sword, Keel strode toward the gate.
Four Guardsmen came with him, flanking him like the trailing ends of a flock of
geese. They might have intended a different formation, but he had the longest legs
and walked the fastest. The one who'd spoken to him before said, "I'm Corporal Brat
Langerman. And you are?"
"Keel Woodhaven."
"I've heard of you! The Queen will want to meet you."
"That's fine. Let's stick to the sides of these buildings. If they're still
around, we'll be targets in the middle of the street."
They weren't quiet, exactly, since the guards wore highly polished chain mail
which jingled. However, Bonsur had a lively night life. Music and laughter came from
bars and nightclubs on adjacent streets, people lingered on corners chatting and
sometimes playing instruments, and children hawked newssheets, shoeshines, flowers, a
selection of rouges, and offered to carry packages. So the sounds the guards made
weren't too noticeable.
Keel led the way back to the chicken ranch. He was thinking that the bad guys
wouldn't have waited around to be hunted. They might have left clues, though.
Perhaps even a discarded, crumpled note offering a cash reward for his head, and
signed by a notorious crimelord. Or distinctive cigar stubs, monogrammed hankies...
personalized masks. Tracks of boots made by elven cobblers. Anything. Witnesses,
even.
There were no people on the street near the chicken ranch. It was full night
now, a bit chilly although there was a warm and slightly funky breeze from the marsh.
Corporal Brat Langerman said quietly, "Is this where it happened?"
"Yup."
"Well, I don't think they're here anymore."
Keel was about to agree, when a crossbow bolt appeared in the Corporal's arm.
The young man hissed, "Everybody down!"
The guardsmen hunkered against the wall of a hardware store, which didn't offer
anything resembling good cover except that they were in shadow there. Keel crouched a
little, but he knew he was a pretty big target, plus his sword gave off a faint
greenish glow. He looked around, searching the darkness for signs of their foes.
A shadow on top of a shaded walkway across the street shifted a little. Keel
pulled a weighted dart out of his pocket and hurled it. He was good at tavern darts,
but it was dark, the distance was too great, and he just wasn't lucky. The little
missile clattered against the shingles of the porch roof. There was a startled twitch
from the half-seen form. At that instant, Keel lunged across the street. His long
legs carried him across to the opposite shadows in three bounds. More bolts came out
of the darkness, one lodging in his calf, the others missing him altogether.
Now the Guardsmen had a good idea where their foes were, and it takes a while to
reload a crossbow. The four men charged, yelling wildly. Tucking his sword under his
arm, Keel grabbed one of the posts holding up the porch roof, strained, and dislodged
it. After a moment he yanked it out of the structure entirely. The roof sagged,
there was a yelp of surprise, and someone's foot appeared off the edge of it. Keel
grabbed him by the ankle and hauled him the rest of the way down.
There were brief sounds of fighting, then footsteps that rapidly receded down an
alley. Three Guardsmen raced off in pursuit. Keel's prisoner started to try to get
away, so the half-Shew tossed him up, grabbed him by the arms and bashed him against
the wall.
"Are you okay?" asked Brat, sheathing his sword.
"Took one in the leg, but it's not too bad I think," Keel said, shifting his
unconscious prisoner to one hand and bending to pick up his sword.
"I'll help you tie that one up," Brat said. "There's a dead one here. I think
there were two more." He grunted slightly, trying to reach something with his injured
arm. "Got some ties in my right-hand belt pouch. If you could get them for me?"
They bound the prisoner, then bandaged each other.
"What did they want?" asked the Corporal.
Keel shrugged. "No clue. Let's get him somewhere safe and we can ask him..."
He listened. "Your guys are coming back."
"Yeah."
The Guardsmen hadn't been able to track their assailants in the darkness, but at
least there were no further injuries. The group of them returned warily to the
courtyard of the Guard House, where a woman was smearing some kind of ointment on Old
Brown's wound. After the horse was bedded down in the stable, the Guardsmen led Keel
into their office, where there was a welcome scent of fresh coffee. The medic set
about binding Keel's wound and that of the Corporal, who turned out to be an extremely
handsome man. Keel remembered hearing that Queen Gemra required her Guardsmen to be
good looking. That didn't mean they weren't competent, though. Brat had done pretty
well.
The medic roused their prisoner with smelling salts. They all sat in the main
office, Corporal Langerman facing the miscreant, who was seated in a cushioned chair,
looking reasonably comfortable except for his bandaged head. "All right," said Brat.
"Now I want you to tell me that you're going to turn Queen's Evidence."
"Not on your life, pretty boy!" The man had, perhaps, some excuse for hard
feelings since he was more homely than not, with a crooked nose and eyes set too close
together. He and Keel looked shabby and ill-favored amongst all these gleamingly
handsome Guardsmen.
Keel leaned forward. "You guys shot my horse."
"Oh. Sorry, didn't mean to do that. We were just shooting at you."
"Why?"
"Glowing sword."
"What?"
"Duh, it's a magic sword! We saw it when you drew it in Delarq Tor, and figured
we could sell it so we followed you."
The half-Shew snorted. "The Dentless isn't magic. It was in a Chaos Gate for
five hundred years and it picked up some energy, that's all. All it does, is glow.
And cut things."
The bandit looked chagrined. "But... it's got to be magic."
"Ain't. Sorry kid."
After that, Keel was taken to enjoy a sumptuous dinner at the Palace. Queen
Gemra was a definite babe, with long, silken black hair, a delicate pouty face, and
luscious curves. She asked him about his mission, which was to go to the Twisted
Lands and shut down a leaking Chaos Gate. He entertained her with the story of his
adventure on the Two-Shew Express, and she gave him a brown velvet cloak to show her
appreciation. She did not invite him to her bed, which was fine because his heart
belonged to another, always and forever.
* * * * *
This is a continuing adventure.
Watch for future chapters in the Bonsur and Home Guard newsletters!
NEW GRADUATES--FROM ALL ARENAS (INCLUDING CLOSED ARENAS)
For those of you who keep track of such things, one additional warrior graduated from
regular DM arenas (including closed arenas) since the last tournament.
SEVENTH SON (1-9401) MANNEQUIN'S BEST (537)
DOMINATION (32-5232) ANGELS OF PAIN (360)
STARSCREAM (47-7419) DARQUE FORCES (396)
THE BOBSTER (82-1072) ODDITIES (184)
0001 (82-7927) JAN 2001 (1148)
0004 (82-7932) JAN 2001 2 (1149)
LAKES (82-22204) WAY OF THE BLADE ID (3522)
SUPPERMAN (82-48250) HUNGRY HEROES (8107)
GEMS (82-49984) 4 LETTER TREASURE (8402)
JACK MONTGOMERY (84-38004) MEDAL OF HONOR B7 (6651)
SKINNER (84-46102) XCOM BETA (7965)
PEPEROMIA PIZZA (85-2352) ADD SOME FLOWER (435)
WEBBED ZOMBIE (85-4040) MOM 'N DAD ZOMBIES? (735)
Congrats to the grads. -- Green Eyes