DUELMASTERS NEWSLETTER

Date   : 08/26/2003    Duedate: 09/22/2003

ERINIKA ARENA

DM-73    TURN-137

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

JUSTICE
PEACE MAKERS (493)
(73-4299) [13-7-1,137]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

POSITION IS EMPTY              DARKSEID
                               DARQUE FORCES (254)
                               (73-2350) [8-0-0,54]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

JUSTICE                        BLACK BOOK
PEACE MAKERS (493)             BLACK & BLUE (412)
(73-4299) [13-7-1,137]         (73-3658) [3-9-0,33]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

WAY TO GO! II (346)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. DRAKE'S LODGE (126)         43
2. HERE COME THE SCUM! (517)   37      THE BULLS (43)
3. DARQUE FORCES VIII (510)    36      Unchartered Team
4. DHOOMZDEY (486)             34
5. MAGIC MAYHEM (485)          27      EVIL SMURF HORDE 4 (564)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1*EVIL SMURF HORDE 4 (564)   4   0  0  100   1/ 1 WAY TO GO! II (346)      12  3 0
 2/ 2*EASTERN HORDE VII (534)    3   0  0  100   2/ 4 DHOOMZDEY (486)          10  4 0
 3/ 4*EVIL SMURF HORDE 2 (562)   2   0  0  100   3/ 7 MAGIC MAYHEM (485)        8  7 1
 4- 6*BAATANAR'RITEZU V (544)    7   3  0 70.0   4/ 2 SATAN'S VOMIT (127)       8  7 0
 5/ 8 THE BULLS (43)           132  65  8 67.0   5/ 3 ODIN'S CHOSEN (488)       8  7 0
 6/ 7*BAD BREAKS (444)          12   6  0 66.7   6/12 DRAKE'S LODGE (126)       7  8 0
 7- 9*FALLEN ONES (522)         13   7  0 65.0   7/10 PERFECTION QUEST I (513)  6  3 0
 8-10 M*A*S*H (413)             11   6  0 64.7   8/ 5 PEACE MAKERS (493)        6  5 1
 9/12 WAY TO GO! II (346)       96  59  6 61.9   9/ 9 ALPHABET SOUP (39)        6  9 0
10/13 MAGIC MAYHEM (485)        36  24  3 60.0  10/20 THE BULLS (43)            5  1 0
11/20 SUPERSTITION MTN. (388)    6   4  0 60.0  11/24 HERE COME THE SCUM (517)  5  4 1
12/15 DRAKE'S TELEVISION (497)  22  15  0 59.5  12- 6 BLOOD OF KINGS (107)      5  5 0
13-14 COWBOYS FROM HELL (387)   35  25  1 58.3  13/ 0 DARK CIRCLE PETS I (572)  5  6 0
14/16 RISING SUN (515)         110  79  5 58.2  14/28*EVIL SMURF HORDE 4 (564)  4  0 0
15/18 DHOOMZDEY (486)           51  37  3 58.0  15/22 THE INANIMATES (514)      4  0 0
16/ 0 DARQUE FORCES VII (509)   41  30  4 57.7  16-18*DEMONIC (520)             4  1 0
17/ 0*DARQUE FORCES (254)       15  12  0 55.6  17-19*FALLEN ONES (522)         4  1 0
18/ 0*DUEL MASTERS (477)         5   4  0 55.6  18/21 RISING SUN (515)          4  2 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19/23 DRAKE'S LODGE (126)       56  45  2 55.4  19/26 DARQUE FORCES VIII (510)  4  4 0
20/19 HERE COME THE SCUM (517)  37  30  2 55.2  20-11*HORS DE COMBAT (539)      4  5 0
21/22 WORLDWIDE GORE (36)      365 302 30 54.7  21/13 WORLDWIDE GORE (36)       4 11 0
22/11 KIWI CONNECTION (406)      7   6  0 53.8  22/15 THE WAR WIZARDS (440)     4 11 0
23-26 GARDEN GUMBIES (3)       143 128 10 52.8  23/30 DRAKE'S TELEVISION (497)  3  0 0
24/29 PEACE MAKERS (493)        42  38  4 52.5  24/31 SUPERSTITION MTN. (388)   3  0 0
25/27 ALPHABET SOUP (39)       119 109  8 52.2  25/42 STORM TROOP (537)         3  1 0
26/28 ODIN'S CHOSEN (488)       48  45  3 51.6  26/17*BAD BREAKS (444)          3  1 0
27/30 PERFECTION QUEST I (513)  38  38  3 50.0  27/35 FOUND IN THE SAND (299)   3  4 0
28-31*DEMONIC (520)             18  18  2 50.0  28/ 8 FEMME FATALE (507)        3  7 1
29/ 0*PEACE KEEPERS (492)        7   7  0 50.0  29/38*EVIL SMURF HORDE 2 (562)  2  0 0
30/17*PERFECTION QUEST (34)      4   4  0 50.0  30/41 DARK FORCE RISING (377)   2  0 0
31/ 0*KIWI CONNECTION II (423)   2   2  1 50.0  31/29*PERFECTION QUEST (34)     2  1 0
32-32*HIGHLANDER (408)           1   1  0 50.0  32-25*BAATANAR'RITEZU V (544)   2  2 0
33/ 3*EVIL SMURF HORDE 1 (561)   1   1  0 50.0  33/16 KIWI CONNECTION (406)     2  2 0
34/36 STORM TROOP (537)         32  34  2 48.5  34/49 DAUGHTERS OF DARKN (363)  2  4 0
35/34 FOUND IN THE SAND (299)   49  53  1 48.0  35/34 BLACK & BLUE (412)        2  4 0
36/25 FEMME FATALE (507)        23  25  2 47.9  36-27 GARDEN GUMBIES (3)        2  5 0
37/35 DARQUE FORCES VIII (510)  54  59  6 47.8  37-14 FLAMING FIST (65)         2  8 0
38-37 BLOOD OF KINGS (107)      58  67  2 46.4  38/48 THE BEGINNING (355)       2 10 0
39/33 SATAN'S VOMIT (127)       30  35  3 46.2  39/ 0*DARQUE FORCES (254)       1  0 0
40/42 DARK FORCE RISING (377)   17  20  0 45.9  40-39*HIGHLANDER (408)          1  0 0
41/39 THE INANIMATES (514)     139 164 10 45.9  41/ 0*KIWI CONNECTION II (423)  1  0 0
42-38 FLAMING FIST (65)        111 131 12 45.9  42/36*EASTERN HORDE VII (534)   1  0 0
43/40 THE BEGINNING (355)      103 124  6 45.4  43/ 0*PEACE KEEPERS (492)       1  0 0
44/ 0 DARK CIRCLE PETS I (572)  16  20  1 44.4  44/37*EVIL SMURF HORDE 1 (561)  1  1 0
45-41 GNOSTIK (462)             22  28  3 44.0  45/43 EASTERN HORDE (365)       1  1 0
46-45*HORS DE COMBAT (539)      10  14  0 41.7  46-46 GNOSTIK (462)             1  4 0
47/46 THE WAR WIZARDS (440)     36  54  3 40.0  47/47*THE BLACK ROSE (526)      1  7 0
48/ 0*OLDMIDDLEEARTHORDE (484)   4   6  0 40.0  48-50*CHAOS BRINGERS (554)      0  3 0
49/48 DAUGHTERS OF DARKN (363)  10  16  1 38.5  49/ 0*OLDMIDDLEEARTHORDE (484)  0  2 0
50/47 BLACK & BLUE (412)        13  22  0 37.1  50-51 COWBOYS FROM HELL (387)   0  2 0
51/49 EASTERN HORDE (365)        6  12  0 33.3  51/52*EVIL SMURF HORDE 3 (563)  0  2 0
52/50*THE BLACK ROSE (526)       7  16  1 30.4  52/ 0*KINGS OF PEACE (489)      0  1 0
53/ 0*KINGS OF PEACE (489)       2   5  1 28.6  53-40 M*A*S*H (413)             0  1 0
54-51*CHAOS BRINGERS (554)       0   3  0  0.0  54/ 0 DARQUE FORCES VII (509)   0  1 0
55/52*EVIL SMURF HORDE 3 (563)   0   2  0  0.0  55/ 0*DUEL MASTERS (477)        0  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

Okay, one and all, the Turf War has inspired me to do something I have never done
before.  That is to bring you:

                              THE ERINIKA ANNUAL REVIEW
                                 (Turns 124 to 136)

Thirteen turns of fun and frothing frolic for me to analyze.  So, let's just get
right into it, shall we?  On turn 124 we had 26 active teams.  As of turn 136, we
have 52 for a full doubling of our population.  The worst part were the lines at the
concession stands, but after a few months, the arena was able to hire extra staff to
compensate.

                        THE TOP 5 TEAMS OF THE LAST YEAR
               Team                      W   L   K   Rec  Percent
               ----                     --  --  --   ---  -------
               WAY TO GO! II            40  20   3   198   66.66%
               MAGIC MAYHEM             33  22   3   288   60.00%
               DRAKE'S TELEVISION       21  15   0   156   58.33%
               THE BULLS                21  15   1   103   58.33%
               ODIN'S CHOSEN            30  22   1   153   57.69%
               * - Only currently listed teams with at least 25 fights were
               considered.
               The field consisted of  25  eligible teams.

Way to Go! II's winning 2 out of every 3 fights puts them solidly on top of the
standings this time around.  Very nicely done.  And with 60 total fights (out of a
possible 65) to boot.

                       THE BOTTOM 5 TEAMS OF THE LAST YEAR
               Team                      W   L   K   Rec  Percent
               ----                     --  --  --   ---  -------
               THE BEGINNING            14  38   1    60   26.92%
               BLACK & BLUE             12  20   0   119   37.50%
               THE WAR WIZARDS          16  23   1    75   41.02%
               ALPHABET SOUP            27  36   0    95   42.85%
               FLAMING FIST             18  23   1    41   43.90%
               * - Only currently listed teams with at least 25 fights were
               considered.

On the other hand, The Beginning's losing nearly 3 out of every 4 fights brings them
in at last place for the past year.  Perhaps you folks should worry a little less
about being first.

                           THE ANNUAL ALLIANCE RECORD
                                       Kills    Rec /
         Alliance              W    L  / Team    Team  Percent  FpTpT(*)
         --------            ---  ---  ------   -----  -------  --------
         EPA                 217  178    0.66   93.50   54.93%      3.21
         Fascist Federation  125  111    1.16  119.33   52.96%      4.72
         Manic's Depressed   105   94    1.14   85.28   52.76%      4.06
         Vendetta Cartel     150  140    0.87   88.12   51.72%      4.39
         TAFKAM               74   71    1.00  193.33   51.03%      4.26
         Independent          50   88    0.21   31.21   36.23%      2.55
         * = Fights per Team per Turn
EPA:  ALPHABET SOUP, BAD BREAKS, BLACK & BLUE, FOUND IN THE SAND, KIWI CONNECTION,
      M*A*S*H, PERFECTION QUEST, PERFECTION QUEST, RISING SUN, THE BULLS, WAY TO GO!
      II and WORLDWIDE GORE.
Fascist Federation:  DHOOMZDEY, HORS DE COMBAT, MAGIC MAYHEM, ODIN'S CHOSEN, STORM
                     TROOP and THE WAR WIZARDS.
Manic's Depressed:  DEMONIC, FALLEN ONES, FEMME FATALE, GNOSTIK, HERE COME THE SCUM!,
                    PEACE MAKERS and WEISS MACHT.
TAFKAM:  DRAKE'S LODGE, DRAKE'S TELEVISION and SATAN'S VOMIT.
Vendetta Cartel:  BILBO'S BUDDIES, BIMBO BRIGADE 4, BLOOD OF KINGS, COWBOYS FROM
                  HELL, DARQUE FORCES VII, DARQUE FORCES VIII, FLAMING FIST, GARDEN
                  GUMBIES and LED ZEPPELIN.

Wow, this past year was rough on the independent teams.  Of course, I'd have to
wonder how they'd fare if it weren't for all the alliances popping up just to take
part in the Turf War.  In any case, the EPA managed a decent lead, even though they
did it with the lowest fight per team per turn average.  Would they do as well if
they were fighting full time?  One has to wonder.

                           THE TOP 10 WARRIOR RECORDS
              Name                    ID   W   L   K   Rec  Percent
              ----                  ----  --  --  --   ---  -------
              UU DOEWANAKNO         1414   9   0   0    95  100.00%
              PUNCH DRUNK           3836   9   1   2    74   90.00%
              PHAMYNN               4255   7   1   2     0   87.50%
              KELLY BUNDY           4237   6   1   0    47   85.71%
              SAIONJI               4447   6   1   0    36   85.71%
              FIENDS                4335   6   1   0    33   85.71%
              LACONIC LEMON         2388   6   1   0    10   85.71%
              GILLES LE BRETON      1111   8   2   0    64   80.00%
              MANNAZ THORSSON       4269   8   2   0    58   80.00%
              ANGLE                 4333   8   2   0    56   80.00%
              * - Only warriors with at least 5 fights and on currently listed teams
                  were considered.
              The field consisted of  130  eligible warriors.

Our very own Champions TC, Uu Doewanakno manages the undefeated record before finally
being yanked off to the Isle this past year.  Punch Drunk's efforts were certainly
commendable, and perhaps if those kills hadn't been inviting bloodfeuds, Uu might not
have been at the top of the list.  Too bad.

                          THE BOTTOM 10 WARRIOR RECORDS
              Name                    ID   W   L   K   Rec  Percent
              ----                  ----  --  --  --   ---  -------
              OOH! LALA             4087   0   5   0   -19    0.00%
              WILLING WITCH         3912   1   6   0     9   14.28%
              ADAM ANT              4670   1   5   0     8   16.66%
              STYNC B TELL          4440   1   5   0     8   16.66%
              HYDROGEN              4647   1   5   0    14   16.66%
              R.O.T.F.L.            4028   1   4   0     7   20.00%
              GINSU GURU             869   2   6   1   -11   25.00%
              LIBERTY               4302   2   6   1    13   25.00%
              P.D.Q.                4628   2   6   0    18   25.00%
              BLACK BOOK            3658   3   8   0    29   27.27%
              * - Only warriors with at least 5 fights and on currently listed teams
                  were considered.

Ooh! Lala needs to stop their lecherous leering and concentrate on the fighting some
more.  Yeah, yeah, I know, I've got two warriors on this list as well.  I've already
sent one for a night fight and the other's going soon if the learns don't start
picking up.

                           TOP FIVE TEAM RECOGNITION
                    TEN TURN TOTAL       |       SINGLE TURN
            Team                   Rec   |  Team                  Rec
            ----                   ---   |  ----                  ---
            MAGIC MAYHEM           288   |  DHOOMZDEY              65
            DRAKE'S LODGE          214   |  FALLEN ONES            64
            SATAN'S VOMIT          210   |  ALPHABET SOUP          60
            WAY TO GO! II          198   |  BLOOD OF KINGS         58
            WORLDWIDE GORE         185   |  MAGIC MAYHEM           57

Magic Mayhem just edges me out (okay they have 1 1/3 my points) for highest
recognition gain over the last year.  Of course, *I'm* the one with two teams on the
list, so there!  In the single turn department, I don't even show up at all, so I
don't see why I should have to comment on it.  Okay, fine, so it was a tight race
between Dhoomzdey and Fallen Ones but the but de dey dat dhoomz just manage to slip
passed those clumsy individuals who runnered up.

                           TOP TEN WARRIOR RECOGNITION
                 TEN TURN TOTAL         |           SINGLE TURN
       Name                    ID  Rec  |  Name                    ID  Rec
       ----                  ----  ---  |  ----                  ----  ---
       PRIZMATYK WAHL        4252   97  |  BLIND BANANA          3487   32
       UU DOEWANAKNO         1414   95  |  MONGOL HORDE          4001   29
       PUNCH DRUNK           3836   74  |  HOPE                  4295   29
       PHETHER PHAHL         4251   70  |  PRINCE RAESENE        1115   29
       DHETHE                4258   68  |  DUHNG B. TELL         4877   28
       LADDIE BUG            3851   67  |  PHAMYNN               4255   27
       CROSS CZECH           4008   67  |  PUNCH DRUNK           3836   27
       JUSTICE               4299   65  |  PIXIE BLIGHT          4427   26
       GILLES LE BRETON      1111   64  |  DHETHE                4258   26
       CALISTA               3244   60  |  PRIZMATYK WAHL        4252   25

Prizmatyk Wahl (talk about spell checking nightmares), just barely snagged more
recognition than Uu Doewanakno (okay, okay, so spell checkers don't like me either).
Boy, if Uu'd had one more turn, I'm tellin' ya....  In any case, it was the sightless
monkey snack that had the biggest one turn jump this time out, which is pretty brave
since it *couldn't* look before it leapt.

                         BOTTOM TEN WARRIOR RECOGNITION
                 TEN TURN TOTAL         |           SINGLE TURN
       Name                    ID  Rec  |  Name                    ID  Rec
       ----                  ----  ---  |  ----                  ----  ---
       VROCK                 4771  -57  |  PHAMYNN               4255  -67
       R.S.I.                3888  -46  |  VROCK                 4771  -64
       KAOLIN                4452  -21  |  WOARE                 4257  -63
       OOH! LALA             4087  -19  |  BANZAI                4026  -47
       D.O.A.                4029  -19  |  R.S.I.                3888  -46
       ANGRBOTHA             4317  -17  |  LACONIC LEMON         2388  -42
       TALES OF THOR         4107  -16  |  GERYON                4149  -41
       WOARE                 4257  -16  |  BLIND BANANA          3487  -37
       OPHITE                4091  -13  |  BACKS INTO ELEPH      3475  -34
       W.T.F.                3903  -12  |  KAMIKAZE              3052  -33

Vrok (I think I knew I guy that drove one of those in high school) descends well past
R.S.I. for the annual total recognition loss.  On the other and, the demonic hot
wheel was out lost (?) by yet another alphabetical atrocity, Phamynn.

                         STYLE MASTERS OF THE PAST YEAR
           Style                  Warrior                ID      Turns
           -----                  -------                --      -----
           PARRY-RIPOSTE          PUNCH DRUNK            3836       10
           PARRY-STRIKE           I.O.U.                 450         9
           STRIKING ATTACK        UU DOEWANAKNO          1414        8
           BASHING ATTACK         SUNGLASSES             3223        7
           AIMED BLOW             FORSETI ODINSON        4265        6
           PARRY-LUNGE            MOONSTONE              703         5
           WALL OF STEEL          RED HOT CHILE PAPA     3358        5
           LUNGING ATTACK         GAI-JIN                4507        4
           LUNGING ATTACK         KAMIKAZE               3052        4
           SLASHING ATTACK        MONGOL HORDE           4001        4
           SLASHING ATTACK        EUROPEAN HAND BULL     3099        4
           TOTAL PARRY            YANKEE DOODLE          3605        4

Well, it comes out that it's Punch Drunk who's the true master of their style over
the past year, managing more turns at the top than anyone else.  Of course, I think
that's partly because there aren't all that may Parry Rips running around in the
first place, so I'm not really all that impressed.  Nyah!  How's that make you feel?

                               RULERS OF THE RING
                                  Chartered            Unchartered
       Turn  Duelmaster           Recognition Leader   Recognition Leader
       ----  ----------           ------------------   ------------------
       124   GERYON               GERYON               POSITION IS EMPTY
       125   JACCO                JACCO                DARK PHOENIX
       126   LACONIC LEMON        LACONIC LEMON        THE BHAUM
       127   LACONIC LEMON        LACONIC LEMON        POSITION IS EMPTY
       128   MONGOL HORDE         FAFNIR               WOARE
       129   KAMIKAZE             UU DOEWANAKNO        WILLOW
       130   UU DOEWANAKNO        UU DOEWANAKNO        POSITION IS EMPTY
       131   UU DOEWANAKNO        UU DOEWANAKNO        PHETHER PHAHL
       132   UU DOEWANAKNO        UU DOEWANAKNO        PHETHER PHAHL
       133   PUNCH DRUNK          PUNCH DRUNK          CALISTA
       134   PUNCH DRUNK          PUNCH DRUNK          CALISTA
       135   PUNCH DRUNK          PUNCH DRUNK          VROCK
       136   JUSTICE              JUSTICE              PERALTA TRAIL

Uu and Punch tied for most turns as DM, but it was clearly Uu with the longest run as 
Chartered Rec Leader; once again proving that Punch Drunk just isn't as cool as my
guy.  For the newbies among us, it's that mysterious Position Is Empty guy that's
leading the list.  Odd, seeing as how I've never noticed him in the arena rankings
before....

                                 THE FANS SPEAK
               Popularity           This                 This Week's
         Turn  Leader               Week's Favorite      Least Favorite
         ----  ------               ---------------      --------------
         124   MOONSTONE            WANSTEAD             DA
         125   MOONSTONE            MALPHAS              MIDNIGHT
         126   MOONSTONE            UU DOEWANAKNO        SUPER STRIKER
         127   LACONIC LEMON        SQUIGGY              GREATER ONE
         128   WOLB DEMIA           ASTRO                SUCKS DIRT
         129   WOLB DEMIA           LYTENING BOLT        STYNC B TELL
         130   WOLB DEMIA           EUROPEAN HAND BULL   BUSHWICK BILL
         131   WOLB DEMIA           KINJIRU              HOT LIPS
         132   MOONSTONE            FORSETI ODINSON      YANKEE DOODLE
         133   WOLB DEMIA           SUNGLASSES           BULL MARKET
         134   MOONSTONE            KIM BASINGER         MANIC FUHRER
         135   MOONSTONE            F. D. A.             HIDEBOUND CORPSE
         136   ABSURD APPLE         MIGHTY CUT-UP        GREATER ONE

The kiddies really love Moonstone (when he fights, that is), as is evidenced by his
appearing 6 times a Popularity Leader.  Personally, I just don't understand the
appeal of someone who drops their pants at rocks, but what are you gonna do?
Absolutely no repeats among This Week's Favorite also shows just how flighty those
same fans can be.  Surprisingly enough, we also had no clear warrior who was most
hated by the fans as there was only one repeat for Least Popular and that was Greater
One.  My question, of course, is greater than one what?  And would he still be
greater if there were two?

                                POPULARITY LISTS
      Most                                     Least
      Popular List         ID    Score* | Popular List         ID    Score*
      ------------         ----  ------ | ------------         ----  ------
      ASTRO                3490      36 | GREAT ONE            3933     -37
      FORSETI ODINSON      4265      30 | MANIC FUHRER         4321     -35
      BLUE BLOOD           3657      30 | GREATER ONE          3935     -35
      MIGHTY CUT-UP        317       26 | BUSHWICK BILL        3492     -29
      MICHAEL ROELE        1114      26 | BIG LEG WOMAN        4106     -29
      EUROPEAN HAND BULL   3099      22 | BULL MARKET          4124     -28
      SUNGLASSES           3223      21 | PONTOS               4125     -26
      CROSS CZECH          4008      19 | SUCKS DIRT           4044     -26
      BLACK BOOK           3658      19 | HOT LIPS             3660     -26
      UU DOEWANAKNO        1414      17 | POUND INTO GROUND    4160     -23
                                        | STYNC B TELL         4440     -23
      * - Scores derived from position in Most Popular and Least Popular Lists

Okay, a little note about how the popularity scores work.  A warrior receives 11 
points for being This Week's Favorite, 10 points for being first listed on the 'Other
Ten Most Popular Fighters' list, 9 for 2nd place, etc on down to 1 point for 10th.
The 'Least Popular' list works the same way but with negative points.  So, from that,
we can see that Astro was well liked this past year.  Perhaps an eventual campaign
for Popularity Leader is in order.  On the other hand, Great One will never be
popularity leader at the rate he's going.

                            THE FEARD AND THE AFRAID
                    Turn  Most Avoided         Most Avoiding
                    ----  ------------         -------------
                    124   WAY TO GO! II        ALPHABET SOUP
                    125   THE BULLS            FOUND IN THE SAND
                    126   ASSASSINI            KINGS OF PEACE
                    127   LED ZEPPELIN         BAATANAR'RITEZU
                    128   BIMBO BRIGADE 5      LOVE LETTERS
                    129   FRATERNAL GREEKS     LED ZEPPELIN
                    130   PEACE MAKERS         WAY TO GO! II
                    131   WARLORDS             LED ZEPPELIN
                    132   BIMBO BRIGADE 5      ARABIAN KNIGHTS
                    133   WARLORDS             LED ZEPPELIN
                    134   ODIN'S CHOSEN        WORLDWIDE GORE
                    135   ODIN'S CHOSEN        ALPHABET SOUP
                    136   PEACE MAKERS         WORLDWIDE GORE

No one was Most Avoided 3 turns, but Peace Makers, Warlords, Bimbo Brigade 5 and
Odin's Chosen each managed 2 turns.  In other news, it was the heavy air ship that
showcased their tail tucking talents by doing the most avoiding for 3 turns this past
year.

                      THE 5 LONGEST FIGHTS OF THE LAST YEAR
MANIC FUHRER viciously subdued BULL MARKET in  32  minutes
MANIC FUHRER viciously subdued BULL MARKET in  30  minutes
GREAT ONE was narrowly defeated by SUCKS DIRT in  28  minutes
TORTURES TOES slimly won victory over BIG LEG WOMAN in  27  minutes
BIG LEG WOMAN outwaited YANKEE DOODLE in  25  minutes
* - The average fight length was 2.88 minutes.

Well, it looks like a certain mad dictator wanted to prove his dominance among the
scum out there, and did so by bullying Bull Market twice over the past year.

                THE 5 HIGHEST FIGHT TIME TOTALS OF THE LAST YEAR
                        Name                  Total Time
                        ----                  ----------
                        BULL MARKET              131
                        MANIC FUHRER             121
                        BIG LEG WOMAN            102
                        BUSHWICK BILL             99
                        GREATER ONE               89
                        PONTOS                    89

However, in the end it was Bull Market proving the be the scummiest of the scum by
amassing an average of over 10 minutes 'fighting' per turn. I'm sure the fans all
appreciated the napping opportunities.

                             THE TOP 10 UPCHALLENGES
Challenger         Challenged         Rec
----------         ----------         ---
FAFNIR             SUNGLASSES          97 (I guess it was Faf who dropped his shades
                                          on the beach.)
WOLB DEMIA         UU DOEWANAKNO       93 (I've got to give Wolb credit for guts.)
ADAM               PHAMYNN             69
ADAM               PHAMYNN             69 (Looking a little repetitive there, Adam.)
THE BHAUM          TOMBSTONE           66
ASPHYXIATE         PRINCE RAESENE      57 (This one left me gasping for breath.)
DHETHE             BLIND BANANA        51 (However, I didn't see this one.)
HEILSTORM          KNITTED AFGHAN      51
BULL MARKET        UNDEADCOCKROACH     42
REHSAB             TORTURES TOES       38

                           THE WORST 10 DOWNCHALLENGES
Challenger         Victim              Rec
----------         ------              ---
JUSTICE            VROCK               -30 (There's no justice in this kind of act.)
GEBO GUNGNIRSON    M.I.A.              -27
GEBO GUNGNIRSON    EKON O'LOGE         -25
FRISBEE            RAHBAD              -24
BUSHWICK BILL      FASCIST FREAK       -23
ATHENA             UNRULY PEASANT      -20 (Was he really *so* unruly that he
                                           deserved this?)
SUSIE              AYN THRAKS          -19
FRISBEE            MARY OTT            -18 (I know everyone needs a place to stay,
                                           but some of you folks are going
                                           overboard.)
JUSTICE            MONGOL HORDE        -18 (Apparently the justice in this town's a
                                           tad lopsided.)
FORSETI ODINSON    ASPHYXIATE          -18 (Don't hold your breath waiting for any
                                           comments on this fight.)
* - Bloodfeuds and challenges by the Chartered Recognition Leader were excluded.
* - The average recognition difference for a challenge was 3.93 points.

                                  KILLS REPORT
          Total Kills:   36 (Nearly a 3 kill per turn average.  Not bad.)
          Team                 Kills | Warrior              ID    Kills
          ----                 ----- | -------              ----  -----
          WORLDWIDE GORE           4 | KNITTED AFGHAN       4123      3
          DARQUE FORCES VIII       4 | PHAMYNN              4255      2
          WAY TO GO! II            3 | PUNCH DRUNK          3836      2
          PEACE MAKERS             3 |
          MAGIC MAYHEM             3 |

Looks like it's Crip and Master Darque duking it out for greatest bloodthirst.  I
also find it odd that there's a team called Peace Makers on this list, but I guess if
you kill everyone else, it will lead to kind of peace.  Or maybe just lots of pieces.

                                 TOURNEY REPORT
          Tournament       Level          Warrior              Record
          ----------       -----          -------              ------
          Summer Face      All            None                 0
          Fall MI          Freshman       Geryon               7-3-0
          Fall MI          Adepts         Hannya               8-2-0
          Fall MI          Initiates      Punch Drunk          8-2-0
          Fall MI          Apprentice     Phether Phahl        7-3-0
          Fall MI          Rookies        Angle                7-3-0
          Fall MI          Dead Initiates Phamynn              10-1-2
          Winter Face      Eligibles      Willie Makit         7-3-0
          Winter Face      Champions      Vinnie the Tush      7-3-0
          Winter Face      Adepts         Willow               9-3-0
          Winter Face      Apprentice     Bull Market          7-3-0
          Spring MI        Champions      Uu Doewanakno        15-2-0
          Spring MI        Adepts         Justice              11-3-0
          Spring MI        Adepts         Punch Drunk          9-3-0
          Spring MI        Apprentice     S.N.A.F.U.           10-3-0
          Spring MI        Apprentice     Gebo Gungnirson      7-3-1
          Spring MI        Apprentice     Huld                 7-3-1
          Spring MI        Rookies        Remoraz              7-3-1

Well, last summer's face sucked for this arena, but things certainly picked up after
the Turf War started.  Of special note was this past Spring, where the Champs TC was
our (my) very own Uu Doewanakno.  Punch Drunk, on the other hand, only barely managed
to TV.  Hah!

                                    GRADUATES
BLACKLANCE (701), GERYON (4149), HANNYA (4350), JACCO (3984), KAMIKAZE (3052),
LACONIC LEMON (2388), MOONSTONE (703), PUNCH DRUNK (3836), and UU DOEWANAKNO (1414).

A tad short of one per turn, but congrats to all our grads anyway.

                                    NEW TEAMS
ACRONEMESIS, ARABIAN KNIGHTS, ASSASSINI, BAATANAR'RITEZ3, BAD BREAKS, BED TIME
BUDDIES, BIMBO BRIGADE 4, BIMBO BRIGADE 5, BLACK & BLUE, C@RTEL 4 LIFE, CHAOS
BRINGERS, DRAKE'S TELEVISION, DUEL MASTERS, EASTERN HORDE VII, EINHERJAR II,
EINHERJAR III, EVIL SMURF HORDE 1, EVIL SMURF HORDE 2, EVIL SMURF HORDE 3, EVIL SMURF
HORDE 4, FALLEN ONES, FORGOTTEN GODS, FRATERNAL GREEKS, GROUCHY GOLEMS, HIGHLANDER,
HORS DE COMBAT, IMMORTAL POWER, KILLER GUYS, KINGS OF PEACE, KIWI CONNECTION, LOVE
LETTERS, MAGIC MAYHEM, MY FIRST WORDS, NOSTALGIA, OLDMIDDLEEARTHORDER, PERFECTION
QUEST, PRIMAL POWER, QUASI-LEGAL OPS, ROOK'S RAVENS II, ROUTE 64, SADISTS F2F IV,
SERPENT SOCIETY, SITH LORDS, SRETSAMLEUD, TEAM FRIED, THE BALANCE, THE BLACK ROSE,
WARLORDS, and XP.

Holy crud, that's a lot of new teams!  I guess the Turf War's good for something.

Well, that wraps it up for this year's annual report.  Next year's should be
interesting.  How many teams will stick around once the Turf War is over?  Will my
spell-checking software blow up due to the odd way people spell their warriors'
names?  I guess you'll all have to come back next year to find out.

                 -- Drake

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                             Turf War Alliance Standings

                                                 Kill %
1.  EPA                    182-153-4     54.3%     2.2%
2.  Manics Depressant       91- 82-1     52.6%     7.7%
3.  Fascist Federation     120-110-8     52.2%     6.7%
4.  TAFKAMOTO               62- 57-1     52.1%     1.6%
5.  Amalgamation            20- 21-1     48.4%     5.0%
6.  Vendetta Cartel        140-166-4     45.8%     2.8%
7.  The Company             28- 41-1     40.6%     3.6%

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

 *          *          *          *  TW 2   #10  *          *          *          *

     Here we are folks, fighting the Turf War's 11th turn, and reporting scores from
the 10th!
     Justice scored a big 32 points for his cowardly 30 point TV downchallenge to
Vrock...but such is life...both teams received 7 mentions in the spy report too!
     Other big scores were Duhng B. Tell for successfully defending the BF vs. Blind
Banana...32 pt!  And Mannaz Thorsson winning Red Hot Chile Papa's challenge too!  32
points!
     Ok folks, I know you're waiting...here're the scores:

1586  (+105)  EPA, Crip, 4 Honors
     Crip  -15  (+250)
          The Bulls, Bull Market                              + 13  (+101)
          Alphabet Soup, None                              + 19  (+ 23)
          Worldwide Gore, Red Hot Chile Papa          - 47  (+130)
          DF -- Things George Does, Tortures Toes     (-4)
     Assurnasirbanipal  -6 (+114)
          Found in Sand, None                                 -6 (+114)
     The Mun  +15 (+161)
          Black & Blue, Blue Blood                            -2  (  +8)
          Kiwi Connection, Wanstead                     +11 ( +42)
          M*A*S*H, Hot Lips                                      -4 ( +45)
          Bad Brakes, Great One                          +10 ( +32)
          DF -- My First Words, None (0), Bed Time Buddies, None 
          (+24), Family Tree, Gossip Girl (+8)
     Spawn  +50  (+328)
          Way To Go II, Asphyxiate                          +38 (+265)
          Rising Sun, Gai-Jin                               +12 ( +63)
     Mannequin  +46 (+81)
          Perfection Quest, Mighty Cut-up                +21 ( +52)
          "                      " II, Saionji                          +25 ( +31)
1206  (+105)  Fascist Fed., Fizban, No Honors
     Fizban  +58 (+373)     
          Magic Mayhem, Prizmatyk Whal                +21 (+137)
          Dhoomzdey, None                                    +47 (+216)
          War Wizards, Oracle O'ryan                      -10 (  +20)
     Heathen  +61 (+266)
          Odin's chosen, Mannaz Thorsson                +57 (+238)
          Storm Troop, Heilstorm                           +4 ( +28)
     Red Raven  -14 (+7)
          Hors De Combat, Hidebound Corpse            -14 (  +7)
          DF -- Cross 'Em, none (0)
     DF -- Staghorn: Frey's Faithful, none (-3)
     DF -- Huld:  Valkyries, Huld (+24)
1084  Compruns!
901  (+75) Manics Depressant, Goat, 2 Honors
          Demonic, None                                     +4 ( +32)
          Fallen Ones, Rahbad                                +3 (  +1)
          Peace Makers, Justice                               +65 (+209)
          DF -- Gnostik, none (-11), Weiss Macht, none (+36), Here 
               Come The Scum, ATF (+15), Kings of Peace, Love (-1), 
               Peace Keepers, Patience (+21), Peace Bringers, Joy      
               (+26), Duelmasters, Ed Schoonover (+2)
     DF -- Muscle Bum (-32): Assassini, Deceiver (+2), The Corps, 
            The General (-34), Outcasts, Thrax (0)
     DF -- Phat Phat (+4): Sretsamleud, none (0), Sretsamleud II,      
            Wolb Demia (+4)
     DF -- Angel (+71): Femme Fatale, none (+71)
801  (+44)  TAFKAMOTO, Drake, No Honors
     Drake +44 (+90)
          Drake's Lodge, Red Ruephin                           +1 ( +92)
          Drake's Televison, Buffet                                +6 ( +30)
          Satan's Vomit, Undead Cockroach                     +37 ( -32)
529 (-82)  Vendetta Cartel, CFH, 1 Honor
     Firehawk  -67 (+79)
          Flaming Fist, None                                            -9 (  -11)
          Garden Gumbies, Blind Banana                      -50 ( +24)
          Blood of Kings, Gilles le Breton                        -8 ( +66)
     Master Darque  -16 (+2)     
          Darque Forces VIII, Pixie Blight                      -16 ( +11)
          DF -- Darque Forces II, Dixie (-9), Darque Forces, Darkseid 
                   (0), Darque Forces VII, Gohon (0)
     DF -- CFH (+60):  Cartel 4 Life, none (-11), Cowboys From Hell, 
            Astro (+71)
     DF -- Horus (-62):  X-men III, Dark Phoenix (-26), Led Zeppelin, 
             Kashmir (+29), Bimbo Brigade 2, none (0), Bimbo           
              Brigade 4, Kim Bainger (-61), Bimbo Brigade 5, Alicia      
             Silverstone (-11), Bilbo's Buddies, Arwen Undomiel (-3)
517  (DF)  Amalgamation, Blackwind
     DF -- Blackwind (+17):  Warlords, Sir Rhawn D'Ilchant (+19),      
             Fraternal Greeks, Beta (+9), Roman Legion, I (O), Love      
             Letters, E (+27), Four Letter Words, Abed (0), Arabian      
             Knights, Jim (+13), Grouchy Golems, Cory (-10),           
             Forgotten Gods, Talos (-42), Duey, Skruem & Howe, Ima 
             Hogg (0)
502  (DF)  Manic Union, Skullagrim
     DF -- Skullagrim (+52):  Einherjar, Iormangondar (+61),           
             Einherjar II, none (-3), Einherjar III, none (-6)
     DF -- 31 OP (-51):  Acronemesis, Pound Into Ground (-51)
491  (DF)  The Ass., Sungod, No Honor
     DF -- Sungod (0):  Sadists F2F IV, DA (0)
     DF -- Darth Josh (0):  Sith Lords, Darth Aggravation (0)
     DF -- Dark Spirit (0):  Immortal Power, none (0)
     DF -- Necron 99 (-9):  Quasi-Legal Ops, Super Striker (-9)
477  (+4)  The Company, Baphomet, No Honors
     Asmo Dius  +4 (+16)
          Baatanar'ritezu V, Vrock
          DF -- 'ritezu, Andramelockamon (+1), 'ritezu 2, Amducias      
                  (0), 'ritezu 3, Astaroth (-18)
     DF -- Baphomet (-20): Dog Soldiers, Sequoyah (+10), Dog      
            Soldiers II, Sheltowee (-23), Dog Soldiers III, Death           
            Stalker (-7)
     DF -- Fahkry (-66):  Serpent Society, Ran (-66)
     DF -- Suiside (+44):  Team Fried, Bud (+44)
362  Indeps!  2 Honors!

     Well folks, that's it this time.  I'm projecting that TW 3 will begin in Jan/Feb
in DM 47, so get your teams ready!
     Oh, BTW...that was *9* Spy Report mentions for Goat's Peacers!

                                        'Til next time, bloody sands!
                                                                 Asmo, TCB

                                      SPY REPORT

     So why do I have this bag over my head?  Because I am The Unknown Spymaster and 
I'm going to give you a spy report!.  Rising in the ranks like a loaf of armored 
bread (okay, I admit it's corny) is HERE COME THE SCUM!, who swept up 13 places in 
the ranks.  Take a look at EVIL SMURF HORDE 4's act, as they have a 2-0-0 week and 
gain 14 places in the team ranking.  Rising in the ranks like a loaf of armored bread 
(okay, I admit it's corny) is STORM TROOP, who swept up 17 places in the ranks.  What 
goes up, must come down.  Watch out ERINIKA!  FEMME FATALE may fall on you as it 
crushes past the teams below it to fall on the 28th spot.  Take a look at DARK FORCE 
RISING's act, as they have a 2-0-0 week and gain 11 places in the team ranking.  
Suffering under a 0-2-0 record and dropping from 16th to 33rd place were the KIWI 
CONNECTION.  Keep trying!  Rising in the ranks like a loaf of armored bread (okay, I 
admit it's corny) is DAUGHTERS OF DARKNES, who swept up 15 places in the ranks.  
Advancing in the rankings was DRAKE'S LODGE who went from last turn's 52-44-2, to 
this week's record of 56-45-2.  Hey everybody, watch out for BOP, who flew up 29 
points in the rankings after mashing SCROD ENVY like a melon.  Keep your eye on this 
guy.  Ya know, some days it doesn't pay to walk out on the sands.  HANNIBAL was 
overcame by WHAHL OF PHORSE and drops 13 points.  Going for the gusto and coming up 
with aught but bloody knuckles was DHOOMZDEY's DHETHE, who was turned away from the 
Duelmastership by JUSTICE.  An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but an onion a day 
keeps T.P.s at bay.   
     Let's dig a little deeper into what's happening in the ERINIKA arena.  Here's a 
song for you:  Who's afraid of the big, bad PEACE MAKERS?  Big bad PEACE MAKERS.  Big 
bad PEACE MAKERS.  ERINIKA's afraid of the big bad PEACE MAKERS.  Tra la la la la!  
Okay, so I may not be funny, but catch WORLDWIDE GORE's act in the arena.  Those 
acrobats seem to be fairly deft at running from PEACE MAKERS.  Well dang howdy, but 
if challenges were votes, MILLENNIA would be president.  Although it may be a contest 
she doesn't want to win.  In a mismatch, our friend PIXIE BLIGHT of DARQUE FORCES 
VIII got heroic notions and challenged GAI-JIN.  What did it get him?  A 11-11-0 
record, that's what.  I don't know about you, but when I saw PIXIE BLIGHT step out on 
the sands with GAI-JIN, I though it was over before it started.  Good upset PIXIE 
BLIGHT!  Can any one out there say 'weasel'?  Oh well, just saying LIGHTNING will do. 
She challenged 19 points down to trash WANSTEAD.  Definition of petty:  LIGHTNING 
overcame WANSTEAD, a mismatch of 19 points.  Getting lots of flowers from sympathetic 
fans was BURIED TREASURE, who was successfully challenged by DUHNG B. TELL who had a 
mere 21 points more than BURIED TREASURE.  I just want to congratulate BURIED 
TREASURE on beating DUHNG B. TELL.  He overcame his superior-ranked opponent and 
gained 24 points.  Congrats!  Challenging down 26 points was GEBO GUNGNIRSON.  Pretty 
soon he'll be using two shields and selling 'T.P.:  The only way to clean up' pins.  
Definition of petty:  GEBO GUNGNIRSON subdued EKON O'LOGE, a mismatch of 26 points.  
In a touching display by a 'touched' warrior, BESS TWESTURN went after ORACLE O'RYAN, 
who was higher by 21 points.  Well, when the dust settled, BESS TWESTURN beat ORACLE 
O'RYAN.   
     Remember that an arena is not always a safe place to be, but it is one of the 
most interesting, though!  It's not often when you see a 10-4-1 warrior like SCROD 
ENVY kick the bucket.  I wonder if DARQUE FORCES VIII will recover from the blow.  
Ask not the elves for counsel, for they will say both yes and no.  Silly buggers, eh? 
     I think I had better cut this one short.  It's been nice chatting to those of 
you whom I have not offended yet.  C'mon, Leadfoot, let's make some tracks.  Its been 
fun, and I'm sure you enjoyed it (boos).  Now that I've got you worked up for Snide 
Clemens, I'll be leaving-- The Unknown Spymaster  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 JUSTICE 4299                 13   7  1   137       PEACE MAKERS (493)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SCRAG'S LIZARD 4988          13   8  1   137       DARK CIRCLE PETS II (572)
-GILLES LE BRETON 1111        16   9  0   119       BLOOD OF KINGS (107)
 MONGOL HORDE 4001            12   8  3   108       WORLDWIDE GORE (36)
 PRIZMATYK WAHL 4252           9   3  1   107       MAGIC MAYHEM (485)
-A BOMB IN A BULL 503         16   8  1   101       THE BULLS (43)
-BASE ON BULLS 3101           16   6  2    97       THE BULLS (43)
 PIXIE BLIGHT 4427            11  11  0    97       DARQUE FORCES VIII (510)
 SUNGLASSES 3223              11   9  1    96       FOUND IN THE SAND (299)
 I.O.U. 450                   24  21  0    95       ALPHABET SOUP (39)
-EUROPEAN HAND BULL 3099      18  11  0    91       THE BULLS (43)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ASPHYXIATE 3830              16   6  0    88       WAY TO GO! II (346)
 THE BHAUM 4256               13   5  0    85       DHOOMZDEY (486)
 MANNAZ THORSSON 4269         11   9  1    85       ODIN'S CHOSEN (488)
 DHETHE 4258                  11   7  0    85       DHOOMZDEY (486)
 CALISTA 3244                  6   4  0    84       DAUGHTERS OF DARKNES (363)
 KASENKO 4445                 12   5  1    83       PERFECTION QUEST II (513)
 GUNGNIR 4267                  9  10  0    82       ODIN'S CHOSEN (488)
 GAI-JIN 4507                 15   8  0    81       RISING SUN (515)
 RED HOT CHILE PAPA 3358      18   9  1    78       WORLDWIDE GORE (36)
-ABSURD APPLE 2387            16  17  1    78       GARDEN GUMBIES (3)
 KING RAT 4508                13  12  0    77       RISING SUN (515)
 ATF 4535                      9   5  0    77       HERE COME THE SCUM! (517)
 WHAHL OF PHORSE 4248          7   5  1    75       MAGIC MAYHEM (485)
 PERALTA TRAIL 3494            6   4  0    75       SUPERSTITION MTN. (388)
 CROSS CZECH 4008             10   7  1    74       WORLDWIDE GORE (36)
-CONAN THE PILLOWMAN 768      14  21  0    71       FLAMING FIST (65)
 YANKEE DOODLE 3605           14  11  0    71       WORLDWIDE GORE (36)
-PRINCE RAESENE 1115          13  12  2    67       BLOOD OF KINGS (107)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-TAL QUAZAR 1113              12  13  0    67       BLOOD OF KINGS (107)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ANGLE 4333                    9   2  0    66       DRAKE'S TELEVISION (497)
-LOUEN LEONCOEUR 1112          8  17  0    66       BLOOD OF KINGS (107)
 BLUE BLOOD 3657               7   5  0    66       BLACK & BLUE (412)
 BOP 4538                     10   5  1    65       HERE COME THE SCUM! (517)
 HANNIBAL 3498                15  13  1    64       WAY TO GO! II (346)
 HEILSTORM 4721               11   3  0    64       STORM TROOP (537)
-SACHA 4422                    9  13  2    63       DARQUE FORCES VIII (510)
 UNDEADCOCKROACH 1422         10   4  1    62       SATAN'S VOMIT (127)
 SCUMMED 2 DEATH 1410         11   8  0    61       DRAKE'S LODGE (126)
 LIGHTNING 4723                9   7  1    61       STORM TROOP (537)
 PHETHER PHAHL 4251            8   4  1    61       MAGIC MAYHEM (485)
-TOMBSTONE 870                12  20  4    60       FLAMING FIST (65)
 LADDIE BUG 3851               8   6  0    60       SATAN'S VOMIT (127)
 CONSPIRACY THEORY 4423       10   4  1    59       DARQUE FORCES VIII (510)
 BURIED TREASURE 4264          8   4  0    59       FOUND IN THE SAND (299)
-HOPE 4295                     4   3  1    59       PEACE MAKERS (493)
-KAKAROTE 4412                 9   6  0    57       DARQUE FORCES VII (509)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BULL FROG 4547                7   3  0    55       THE BULLS (43)
 SAIONJI 4447                  9   4  0    54       PERFECTION QUEST II (513)
 DARKSEID 2350                 8   0  0    54       DARQUE FORCES (254)
 BULL MARKET 4124              9   4  1    53       THE BULLS (43)
-MICHAEL ROELE 1114            9  16  0    53       BLOOD OF KINGS (107)
 F.U.B.A.R. 4196               8   5  0    53       ALPHABET SOUP (39)
 RED RUEPHIN 4443              7   3  0    50       DRAKE'S LODGE (126)
-BLIND BANANA 3487            10   9  1    49       GARDEN GUMBIES (3)
 DEA 4533                      9   5  0    49       HERE COME THE SCUM! (517)
 EVE 3232                     11   9  0    48       THE BEGINNING (355)
-ABALACH-RE 4430               9  13  1    48       DARQUE FORCES VIII (510)
-BLIZZARD 4717                 6   8  1    48       STORM TROOP (537)
 BRUNHILDA 4268               11   5  2    47       ODIN'S CHOSEN (488)
 GREAT ONE 3933                6   3  0    47       BAD BREAKS (444)
-CHARITY 4300                  8   8  0    46       PEACE MAKERS (493)
-ASTRO 3490                    6   8  1    46       COWBOYS FROM HELL (387)
 VANISH 4633                   5   2  0    46       THE INANIMATES (514)
 MIGHTY CUT-UP 317             4   4  0    46       PERFECTION QUEST (34)
 A POCK O' LIPS 4254           8   6  0    45       DHOOMZDEY (486)
-SCARFACE 3491                 9   5  0    44       COWBOYS FROM HELL (387)
-MAGGUS 4468                   8   7  0    44       THE INANIMATES (514)
-NAPPA 4419                    5   0  1    44       DARQUE FORCES VII (509)
 KNITTED AFGHAN 4123           6   8  3    43       WORLDWIDE GORE (36)
 I.R.S. 4629                   4   4  0    42       ALPHABET SOUP (39)
 REMORHAZ 4698                 3   0  0    42       EASTERN HORDE VII (534)
 KANTRYP 4403                  6   5  0    41       MAGIC MAYHEM (485)
 GREATER ONE 3935              6   3  0    41       BAD BREAKS (444)
 FORSETI ODINSON 4265         10  10  0    40       ODIN'S CHOSEN (488)
-LIBERTY 4302                  8   9  1    40       PEACE MAKERS (493)
-PUDGE 3606                    7   4  0    39       COWBOYS FROM HELL (387)
-FRISBEE 3098                  8   7  0    37       FOUND IN THE SAND (299)
-SILHOUETTE 4464               4   6  0    37       THE INANIMATES (514)
-BUSHWICK BILL 3492           10   3  0    36       COWBOYS FROM HELL (387)
-VARGA 4278                    5   2  0    36       GNOSTIK (462)
 HELLO KITTY 4596              5   2  0    36       EASTERN HORDE (365)
 DUHNG B. TELL 4877            3   1  1    36       SATAN'S VOMIT (127)
 ARROGANT ORACLE 4630          3   4  0    34       THE WAR WIZARDS (440)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-HOT LIPS 3660                 7   2  0    33       M*A*S*H (413)
-FIENDS 4335                   6   1  0    33       DRAKE'S TELEVISION (497)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-FAITH 4297                    6   5  0    33       PEACE MAKERS (493)
 BLACK BOOK 3658               3   9  0    33       BLACK & BLUE (412)
 BLACK EYE 3654                3   8  0    33       BLACK & BLUE (412)
 GEBO GUNGNIRSON 4352          6   4  0    32       ODIN'S CHOSEN (488)
 WANSTEAD 3628                 5   5  0    32       KIWI CONNECTION (406)
 KAT 4396                      6   3  0    31       FEMME FATALE (507)
 SUSIE 4399                    5   4  1    31       FEMME FATALE (507)
-HIDEBOUND CORPSE 4739         4   1  0    30       HORS DE COMBAT (539)
 LYTENING BOLT 4358            6   5  0    29       MAGIC MAYHEM (485)
 DRAYSON 3363                  4   6  0    29       DARK FORCE RISING (377)
-KING KAI 4420                 4   1  0    28       DARQUE FORCES VII (509)
-BELEIF 4800                   3   0  0    28       GNOSTIK (462)
-CHI CHI 4421                  3   1  1    27       DARQUE FORCES VII (509)
 M.I.A. 4912                   2   1  0    27       ALPHABET SOUP (39)
 BESS TWESTURN 4869            2   1  0    27       DRAKE'S LODGE (126)
-TRITE TROWEL 3604             5  10  1    26       GARDEN GUMBIES (3)
-DARQUE DISCIPLE 3422          3   0  0    25       DARQUE FORCES (254)
-PAIN MISTRESS 4582            2   1  0    25       DEMONIC (520)
 ORACLE O'RYAN 3913            6   6  0    24       THE WAR WIZARDS (440)
 FRISIAN 4635                  4   4  0    24       PERFECTION QUEST II (513)
-IBLIS 4586                    3   2  0    24       FALLEN ONES (522)
-BUFFET 4334                   2   5  0    24       DRAKE'S TELEVISION (497)
 SNEEZY SMURF 4940             2   0  0    24       EVIL SMURF HORDE 4 (564)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MILLENNIA 4601                3   4  1    23       DAUGHTERS OF DARKNES (363)
 THRAWN 3922                   3   1  0    23       DARK FORCE RISING (377)
-ARCHIE O'GARR 4627            3   2  0    23       THE BLACK ROSE (526)
-NANA KOOT 4713                3   1  0    23       DEMONIC (520)
-E.P.A. 4534                   2   2  0    23       HERE COME THE SCUM! (517)
-BAEL 4567                     4   4  0    22       DEMONIC (520)
-SMAUGVILLE 4591               2   2  0    22       DRAKE'S TELEVISION (497)
-STRAHD 3424                   2   1  0    22       DARQUE FORCES (254)
 LUCIA 4726                    1   2  0    21       DAUGHTERS OF DARKNES (363)
 MOE TELSYX 4442               5   5  0    20       DRAKE'S LODGE (126)
 GOHON 4415                    3   3  0    20       DARQUE FORCES VII (509)
-SCRODS 4336                   3   4  0    20       DRAKE'S TELEVISION (497)
-FAUX PAS 4867                 2   2  0    20       HORS DE COMBAT (539)
-DUNCAN 3634                   1   1  0    20       HIGHLANDER (408)
 PATIENCE 4292                 5   1  0    19       PEACE KEEPERS (492)
-KINJIRU 4504                  3   3  0    19       RISING SUN (515)
 P.D.Q. 4628                   2   7  0    19       ALPHABET SOUP (39)
-ELMER G 4584                  2   1  0    19       FALLEN ONES (522)
 TWITCHY SMURF 4930            2   0  0    19       EVIL SMURF HORDE 2 (562)
-DANCIN' SCARECROW 4466        4   6  0    18       THE INANIMATES (514)
 ATHENA 4872                   3   1  0    18       FEMME FATALE (507)
 PESTI LYNTZ 4909              2   0  0    18       DHOOMZDEY (486)
-CHARLES KRAVER 4193           2   0  0    18       DUEL MASTERS (477)
-MINNET 4448                   4   5  0    17       PERFECTION QUEST II (513)
-RAHBAD 4585                   3   2  0    17       FALLEN ONES (522)
 DIXIE CUP 4910                3   0  0    17       WAY TO GO! II (346)
 THE KEY 3718                  2   2  1    17       KIWI CONNECTION II (423)
 KARATIA 3624                  2   1  0    17       KIWI CONNECTION (406)
-ANTAIA 4714                   1   2  0    17       DEMONIC (520)
-CALL ME TRINITY 4737          4   1  0    16       HORS DE COMBAT (539)
-HUNNICUTT 3662                3   1  0    16       M*A*S*H (413)
-MERESIN 4587                  3   1  0    16       FALLEN ONES (522)
 IAN 4245                      2   1  0    16       OLDMIDDLEEARTHORDER (484)
-SARIEL 4589                   2   1  0    15       FALLEN ONES (522)
 HYDROGEN 4647                 1   6  0    15       THE BEGINNING (355)
-KINDNESS 4291                 1   1  0    15       PEACE KEEPERS (492)
-FREEDOM 4274                  1   0  0    15       KINGS OF PEACE (489)
-WISDOM 4275                   1   0  1    14       KINGS OF PEACE (489)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-BANCHEE 4664                  1   0  0    14       OLDMIDDLEEARTHORDER (484)
-GENTLENESS 4293               1   1  0    14       PEACE KEEPERS (492)
-MORARTY'S MONKEY 4992         2   1  0    13       DARK CIRCLE PETS II (572)
 SEVYN SINES 4922              1   1  0    13       DHOOMZDEY (486)
 DELILAH 4981                  1   0  0    13       THE BLACK ROSE (526)
-ADAM 4648                     1   3  0    12       THE BEGINNING (355)
 THE BIG BANG 4979             1   0  0    12       THE BEGINNING (355)
 NOAH 4978                     1   0  0    12       THE BEGINNING (355)
-SABER 4671                    2   4  1    11       THE BLACK ROSE (526)
-SOLOMON 4088                  2   4  1    11       GNOSTIK (462)
 F. D. A. 4801                 1   2  0    11       HERE COME THE SCUM! (517)
-KAREL PROSEK 4712             2   3  0    10       FLAMING FIST (65)
 WIMPY WARLOCK 4809            2   4  0    10       THE WAR WIZARDS (440)
-CAMBION 4768                  1   0  0    10       BAATANAR'RITEZU V (544)
 KINKY CONJOURER 4983          1   0  0    10       THE WAR WIZARDS (440)
-HELL WARDEN 4715              2   1  0     9       DEMONIC (520)
 ADAM ANT 4670                 1   6  0     9       SATAN'S VOMIT (127)
 BOARRING B. TELL 4876         2   2  0     8       SATAN'S VOMIT (127)
-SVAN 3361                     2   1  0     7       DARK FORCE RISING (377)
 ED SCHOONOVER 4194            2   1  0     7       DUEL MASTERS (477)
 PINCH HITTER 4911             2   1  0     7       WAY TO GO! II (346)
-MONAD 4636                    1   1  1     7       GNOSTIK (462)
-Q.A. 4401                     1   3  1     7       GNOSTIK (462)
 GENERAL SMURF 4938            2   0  0     6       EVIL SMURF HORDE 4 (564)
-TORVE 3364                    1   3  0     6       DARK FORCE RISING (377)
-HUTJIN 4770                   1   0  0     6       BAATANAR'RITEZU V (544)
 EKON O'LOGE 4878              0   4  0     6       DRAKE'S LODGE (126)
-RAGNA ROK 4624                1   2  0     5       THE BLACK ROSE (526)
-MOUNTAIN SLEW 4666            1   0  0     5       OLDMIDDLEEARTHORDER (484)
-FASCIST FREAK 4719            1   2  0     5       STORM TROOP (537)
-BLAKE 4179                    1   1  0     4       M*A*S*H (413)
 SPASTIC SMURF 4926            1   1  0     4       EVIL SMURF HORDE 1 (561)
-SCOTT CARROLL 4191            1   1  0     4       DUEL MASTERS (477)
-THE DEALER'S SHEEP 4993       1   1  0     4       DARK CIRCLE PETS II (572)
-DREADNAUGHT 3365              0   4  0     4       DARK FORCE RISING (377)
-TYPHOID MARY 2349             0   4  0     4       DARQUE FORCES (254)
-BUSHIDO 4501                  0   3  0     3       RISING SUN (515)
-UNRULY PEASANT 4874           0   3  0     3       HORS DE COMBAT (539)
-REST IN PEACE 4290            0   2  0     2       PEACE KEEPERS (492)
-GOODNESS 4289                 0   2  0     2       PEACE KEEPERS (492)
 PYRO SMURF 4937               0   2  0     2       EVIL SMURF HORDE 3 (563)
-NEON'S BULLDOG 4994           0   2  0     2       DARK CIRCLE PETS II (572)
 LOVE 4276                     0   2  0     2       KINGS OF PEACE (489)
-ENFANT TERRIBLE 4875          0   2  0     2       HORS DE COMBAT (539)
-TRUTH 4272                    0   2  0     2       KINGS OF PEACE (489)
 SACRIFICE 4999                0   1  0     1       WAY TO GO! II (346)
-BACK BREAKER 4865             0   1  0     1       CHAOS BRINGERS (554)
-CHRIS M. 4192                 0   1  0     1       DUEL MASTERS (477)
-MARKUS 4190                   0   1  0     1       DUEL MASTERS (477)
-BELIAL 4767                   0   1  0     1       BAATANAR'RITEZU V (544)
-CHAOS' NEEDLE 4862            0   1  0     1       CHAOS BRINGERS (554)
 DUKE 4980                     0   1  0     1       THE BLACK ROSE (526)
 GREMLIN 4663                  0   1  0     1       OLDMIDDLEEARTHORDER (484)
-BEACH BUM 4522                0   1  0     1       FOUND IN THE SAND (299)
-HOLINESS 4273                 0   1  0     1       KINGS OF PEACE (489)
-PASSIVE STORM 4866            0   1  0     1       CHAOS BRINGERS (554)
 SAUCED SEER 4984              0   1  0     1       THE WAR WIZARDS (440)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
S.N.A.F.U. 4326        4  4 0 ALPHABET SOUP 39      MEGA MAGE 3916        134 REVENGED
VROCK 4771             5  2 0 BAATANAR'RITEZU V 544 JUSTICE 4299          136         

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
THE BIG BANG 4327      3  4 0 THE BEGINNING 355     BRUNHILDA 4268        134         
SCROD ENVY 4424       10  4 1 DARQUE FORCES VII 510 BOP 4538              137         
PHAMYNN 4255           7  4 2 DHOOMZDEY 486         BLIND BANANA 3487     134 REVENGED
AYN THRAKS 4855        0  3 0 DHOOMZDEY 486         SUSIE 4399            135         
JORJA 4397             4  6 1 FEMME FATALE 507      ELAYA 24              137 NONE    
GLORIA 4400            3  7 0 FEMME FATALE 507      ANODINE 27            137 NONE    
GINSU GURU 869        14 18 4 FLAMING FIST 65       PRIZMATYK WAHL 4252   136         
CRUSTY CORN 4795       1  1 0 GARDEN GUMBIES 3      DUHNG B. TELL 4877    134         
KAOLIN 4452            6  5 1 PERFECTION QUEST  513 HOPE 4295             134         
HOAR SFLIE 4441        2  4 0 SATAN'S VOMIT 127     MILLENNIA 4601        133 JUST REV
LORD SOTH 4852         0  1 0 SHADOWLORDS 552       THORSON 4716          133 NOT REVE
BANZAI 4026           10  3 1 WAY TO GO! II 346     PRINCE RAESENE 1115   134 REVENGED

                                     PERSONAL ADS

All -- Catching up on the personals from the last two turns, something called a FtF
distracted me last time. -- Crip

Asmo -- I completely disagree with Red Raven's assessment.  Were it to apply to this
TW, I would simply start DA'ing all my characters to preserve the EPA lead until I
found perfect Rookies level warriors, DAing them once they reach a certain level,
then starting again.  Perhaps the penalty shouldn't be as severe, but there should
still be one, otherwise it simply becomes a contest of who happens to stumble across
the best godlings, and not a test of managerial expertise.

Drake -- You see, with a lead, a potential strategy for the EPA was to not fight our
warriors, as the easiest way for us to lose the lead would be to lose to the nearest
contenders.  But the EPA is the Erinika Protection Agency, and we are here to protect
this arena to the end, and would not lower ourselves to such despicable tactics. --
Crip

Gungnir -- That makes me 7-1 vs. lungers, so far from a senseless challenge.  No need
for the EPA to resort to dishonourable downchallenges. -- Red Hot Chile Papa

Gilles Le Breton -- I'm not sure even those skills will help me crush your defenses.
-- Cross Czech

Heilstorm -- Holy Cow!  I don't think I've ever seen another of your manager's beside
you challenge up before.  Even if it was to a warrior that you had proven you could
already beat. -- Knitted Afghan

Gebo Goofball Gungnirson -- Let's see, at least 8 FE challenging 1 FE, 28 recognition
points challenging 1 recognition point, and you still can't win.  Does your mother
still escort you to the sidewalk so you can get on the big yellow bus each morning?
The only one more useless than you must be your manager. -- M.I.A.

Laddie Bug -- Much better training that time. -- F.U.B.A.R.

Oracle O'Ryan -- Did you foresee that?  I certainly didn't -- Bull Frog

Eve -- I don't think I could have done it without a little tourney help.  You should
tell Mob Boss to be a little more vocal here -- I.R.S.

Red Ruephin -- I've been barnstormed -- P.D.Q.

Asmo -- Having read your published rules for TW3, I have chosen not to participate
this time around, though I will run in the arena. -- Crip

Justice -- Hurry up and graduate already.  You've had the throne long enough. --
Sunglasses

Punchy -- All three were reasonable fights, but it just goes to show you that my one-
dimensional fighting is not as effective as those who fight like you! -- Sunglasses

Asmo Dius -- Tough break with Vrock!  As a general rule, I always avoid TV's and
especially when those TV's have a gross style advantage over my warriors.  Thanks
again for all the hard work with Turf War 3.  This has been my favorite arena for the
last 6 months because of the Turf War.  Good luck with Turf War 4.  After last turn,
I think the EPA has almost clinched this one! -- Assurnasirbanipal

Scummed 2 Death -- Wow!  What a bizarre fight.  At least it taught me something and
that little something might even help me with my bashers!  I've challenged for the
rematch, but a good win for you! -- Assur

All -- For those interested...Vrock:  11(1)-8(2)-8-18(1)-18(1)-5-21  AB.  Was Ad
Master Atk (+4), Expert Rip (-1) and Def (+1), had good Dmg at creation...a lucky
SOB...went 7-3 as a Rookie, saw other tourneys for a total of 19 FE before entering
the arena.  Guess his next tourney will be the dead.

Justice -- There is none in the world when you can make a 30 point *TV*
downchallenge, ST vs. AB, to kill the *BEST* warrior a manager has ever had...and I
don't have anyone to BF with.  You are not very appropriately named, are you?  Thanks
a lot. -- Asmo, crying in his beer

Ghost of Ginsu Guru -- We fight each other one turn, the very next we're both
dead...coincidence? -- Ghost of Vrock

My Fascist Brethren -- With three turns left we are only behind the EPA by 36 points.
Now is the time to step up and win this contest!  Weiss Macht. -- Heathen Hatebred

Asmo -- Funds permitting I will be there to represent the Federation!  It's a shame
about your tourney baby--those frail aimbees are hard to keep alive. -- Heathen
P.S.  Could you tell me what warrior has gained the most points in this Turf War?

29 July 2003
           *     *     *     *The Third Annual Turf War*     *     *     *
     Yes, it's time again for alliances to go to war!  TW3 will be held in DM 47
(North Fork) at a date to be  specified later--right after Crip's Incomprehensible
Contest is over...but I'm sure everyone wants to get their teams there soon!  Here
are the rules:

1.  Each alliance must have a leader declare the arrival of his alliance.  The leader
    will be responsible for verifying any and all teams/managers who declare to the
    alliance he/she is leading.
2.  Each manager, team declaring for the contest must have approval of the leader,
    donate one Roll-up Certificate ($5) to the prize pot (send it to me by diplo, by
    snail, or a note to customer service), and declare his/her team by diplo, p-ad or
    snail.
3.  Each team may declare one warrior as champion.  All points scored by a champ are
    double!
4.  Prizes are as follows (mostly...there WILL be some things added as the prize pot
    grows with entry donations--this list is not final!)
    *  Highest scoring alliance -- Rename Arena 47 for a period of 6 months, one half
       of the total prize pot donated; roll-up certs.
    *  The Alliance with the most returns from the DA will get to re-name the DA
       monsters for a period of 6 months.
    *  The alliance with the most warriors listed as style masters will get to pick
       the Alastari city/arena to host the next Grand Tournament.
    *  The warrior with the most front page honors/awards will have the Arenamaster
       named after him for a period of 6 months.
    *  The Alliance with the most front page Honors/Awards will have the honor of
        picking the *slow* arena to host the Fifth Annual Turf War.
    *  The team with the most listings as Style Master will find out the favorites of
       one of their warriors.
    *  The warrior with the most listings as Style Master will fight at my expense
       for five turns (I will transfer to the manager's account).
    *  The Alliance with the most kills will be able to re-name the stand-in warriors
       for a period of 6 months.
    *  The warrior that scores the most total points will fight at my expense for 5
       turns (I will transfer $7.50 to the manager's account).
    *  The team that scores the most total points will receive an extra share of
       roll-up certs from the prize pot.
     There may be more categories to come, and the prize pot still has to be
divided...I'm open to category/prize ideas--and further donations to the prize pot.
     The contest will run for *TEN* turns; prizes will be awarded at the end of the
11th turn.
     Scoring will be as follows:
* 5 points per fight, doubled for each of the following conditions met:
     -- Two Alliance     -- Champion
     -- Challenge        -- Two Champions
     -- Bloodfeud        -- Challenger losing
     -- Kill
     (Note:  DA losses are exempt, but DA wins will be *tripled*!!!  Ex:  Happy
Slasher goes to the DA and dies, no points are lost.  If he wins, his team scores 60
points!  If he was a champ, he scores 120 points!)
     Use the following chart to calculate scores:
Conditions Met:       0     1     2     3     4     5     6     7
Points Per Fight:     5    10    20    40    80   160   320   640
* Awards/Honors and Style Masters will each be awarded points also.  Find the total
number of each (do note add Awards and Style Masters together) and consult the graph
below.  Champs that score an award or style master count as two.
     1 --   5      7 --  320
     2 --  10      8 --  640
     3 --  20      9 -- 1280
     4 --  40     10 -- 2560
     5 --  80     11 -- 5280
     6 -- 100     (x2 for each extra)
Note -- These categories *count as "triple"*--they will be figured for each team,
*AND* again for each alliance *as well as* for each warrior!
*  Each and every mention in the Spy Report is worth 5 points...period.
*  TVs will be scored on the same scale as Awards/Style Masters, but the total points
will be x10.  TC's will be scored as TV's, but x10 more.
Number of TV/TC's          Points Scored (TV/TC)
     1      50/ 500
     2     100/1000
     3     200/2000
     4     400/4000
     +     x2/ x2 (for each extra)
     Each alliance will start with 5000 points, scores for *fights* will be added to
the winner's total *AND* deducted from the losers.
     Come  one and all, defend your turf and the honor of your alliance...or your
own!
                    Asmo Dius, TCB
                    Arenas, DM 47, DM 73

1 August 2003
     Assurnasirbanipal invites you to Talcama to participate in the third BATTLE
ROYAL contest.  It is a Delarquan contest so brutal that even some of Talcama's most
notable managers will refuse to participate.  The rules are simpler than any other
contest:  You may not avoid any other contest team.  There are no silly rules for who
can and can't compete.  Any team in Talcama is eligible to compete.  The scoring is
also quite simple (+1 for a win, +1 for a kill (+1 for the win), -1 for a loss) and
the first team to reach 25 points is the winner.
     Scoring will be live--the results for the turn posted in the newsletter.  The
winner will be able to fight their contest team in Talcama for free for 6 months but

more importantly will win a contest against some of the best managers who play the
game in one of the hardest contests in the game.
     First turn for BATTLE ROYAL 3 is Talcama Turn 465, which is due August 30.

19 August 2003
     Citizens of Ghea (only the ignorant fail to note Lirith Kai is not in Alastari),
no new day is rising, but the sun is setting on just another beautiful evening.
While you were sleeping, an irksome rabble has entered the always fair Aruak City.
Of course they fought alongside our warriors, most not so treasured, as all
gladiators do.  They drank with themselves, and slept with themselves.  Whether they
had masks, who cares.
     Warriors, don't be afraid.  For years Aruak has been one of the safest cities in
Ghea, and that custom has been continually cultivated, and will continue to be by
those who have called it home for years and those who live, fight, and die by the
same ethics.  There is no contest, nor has there ever needed to be one for many
years.  A conflict of personalities has arisen, and the city has been 'invaded' by
pests.
     Any rules that are annouced will be purely for the joy of the lemmings' own
little world.  Those who are being targeted have no interest in participating except
to defend the integrity of an arena that is different from others.  Whether you
choose to come to Aruak, do it for your own reasons, not theirs.
    Competing in Aruak City has never been for the faint of heart or the weak willed.
Combat is combat, wherever you go.  Blood will flow as always, and now many innocents
will be caught in the middle, but those who defend Aruak's traditions never target
those who bring respect of Aruaki customs with them to our home.
    So ignore the private ranting announcement brought by the stuporous
Frothingsloshers.  If you choose Aruak City, do not choose it for an unsanctioned and
bogus 'contest', choose it for the tradition.  Choose it because Aruak is different.

Defenders of Aruak

25 August 2003
To any that care -- The CDC is back; our current roster is:
     Malaquar -- Minion of Guardian
     Pip the Troll -- Burly Enforcer Type
     mouse -- Official Sneaky Bastard
     Papa Bear -- Elder Statesmen
                     The Sealer says, "Hi, I'm the dealer."
                     Papa Bear says, "It's not my f****n fault."
Guardian -- Paper Figurehead

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

JORJA was butchered by ELAYA in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
GLORIA was slaughtered by ANODINE in a 1 minute gruesome Dark Arena battle.
UNDEADCOCKROACH subdued MILLENNIA in a 4 minute Bloodfeud fight.
HYDROGEN was vanquished by BRUNHILDA in a 2 minute gory mismatched Bloodfeud brawl.
VANISH savagely defeated ARROGANT ORACLE in a crowd pleasing 2 minute Challenge match.
SUNGLASSES lost to PRIZMATYK WAHL in a 2 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
MONGOL HORDE overpowered MANNAZ THORSSON in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge brawl.
PIXIE BLIGHT viciously subdued GAI-JIN in a 2 minute expert's Challenge duel.
ASPHYXIATE slimly won victory over GUNGNIR in a 5 minute veteran's Challenge duel.
LADDIE BUG was overpowered by CALISTA in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge melee.
THE BHAUM savagely defeated CROSS CZECH in a 2 minute veteran's Challenge match.
DEA was handily defeated by ANGLE in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge contest.
PERALTA TRAIL subdued PHETHER PHAHL in a popular 1 minute Challenge brawl.
SCUMMED 2 DEATH overcame MIGHTY CUT-UP in a 2 minute Challenge conflict.
I.R.S. was overpowered by HEILSTORM in a 2 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
LIGHTNING devastated WANSTEAD in a 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
KAT was beaten by A POCK O' LIPS in a 2 minute Challenge brawl.
KANTRYP was bested by F.U.B.A.R. in a popular 1 minute Challenge brawl.
DUHNG B. TELL was overpowered by BURIED TREASURE in a 3 minute Challenge match.
CONSPIRACY THEORY overpowered GREATER ONE in a 5 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
GEBO GUNGNIRSON viciously subdued EKON O'LOGE in a 1 minute Challenge bout.
ADAM ANT was viciously subdued by PESTI LYNTZ in a 2 minute gruesome Challenge duel.
GOHON was bested by M.I.A. in a 2 minute brutal Challenge bout.
LYTENING BOLT defeated KARATIA in a action packed 1 minute Challenge fight.
SEVYN SINES beat BOARRING B. TELL in a popular 4 minute beginner's Challenge fight.
BESS TWESTURN overpowered ORACLE O'RYAN in a exciting 1 minute uneven Challenge match.
JUSTICE handily defeated DHETHE in a exciting 1 minute uneven Title bout.
I.O.U. was viciously subdued by SCRAG'S LIZARD in a 2 minute gory veteran's duel.
RED HOT CHILE PAPA was narrowly defeated by KASENKO in a action packed 4 minute duel.
HANNIBAL was savagely defeated by WHAHL OF PHORSE in a 3 minute gory veteran's match.
YANKEE DOODLE was savagely defeated by KING RAT in a 9 minute veteran's bout.
SAIONJI was devastated by ATF in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
BLUE BLOOD devastated KNITTED AFGHAN in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided battle.
BULL FROG handily defeated FRISIAN in a exciting 1 minute one-sided fight.
BULL MARKET unbelievably bested BLACK BOOK in a action packed 4 minute match.
FORSETI ODINSON was overpowered by RED RUEPHIN in a 1 minute uneven bout.
BOP savagely slew SCROD ENVY in a 2 minute brutal competition.
EVE was outwaited by DARKSEID in a 8 minute brutal duel.
GREAT ONE luckily beat SUSIE in a action packed 6 minute gruesome battle.
REMORHAZ devastated ATHENA in a 1 minute mismatched match.
IAN lost to DRAYSON in a 6 minute gory conflict.
BLACK EYE was bested by HELLO KITTY in a crowd pleasing 4 minute match.
P.D.Q. was handily defeated by SNEEZY SMURF in a 1 minute one-sided conflict.
WIMPY WARLOCK was overpowered by LUCIA in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
PATIENCE defeated PYRO SMURF in a 3 minute duel.
F. D. A. was luckily beaten by MOE TELSYX in a action packed 4 minute gory bout.
THRAWN handily defeated CONVICTED THIEF in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
LOVE was demolished by THE BIG BANG in a exciting 1 minute brutal one-sided conflict.
ED SCHOONOVER was savagely defeated by DELILAH in a 2 minute bloody amateur's bout.
THE KEY outwaited PINCH HITTER in a monotonous 14 minute amateur's match.
DIXIE CUP demolished SAUCED SEER in a unpopular 10 minute one-sided brawl.
SPASTIC SMURF was subdued by NOAH in a 2 minute amateur's battle.
TWITCHY SMURF devastated GREMLIN in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
GENERAL SMURF unbelievably bested SACRIFICE in a popular 7 minute novice's struggle.
DUKE was devastated by KINKY CONJOURER in a 1 minute mismatched conflict.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  22         TOTAL PARRY      145 - 107 -  1      58  |
|TOTAL PARRY                     21         WALL OF STEEL     62 -  46 -  4      57  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                 17         PARRY-RIPOSTE     21 -  19 -  2      53  |
|AIMED BLOW                      11         AIMED BLOW        54 -  49 -  0      52  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   9         PARRY-LUNGE       57 -  59 -  3      49  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      8         LUNGING ATTACK   145 - 169 - 10      46  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     7         STRIKING ATTACK  116 - 138 -  6      46  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  5         BASHING ATTACK    65 -  83 -  3      44  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    5         PARRY-STRIKE      34 -  48 -  1      41  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         SLASHING ATTACK   43 -  63 -  3      41  |

Turn 137 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

SLASHING ATTACK    4 -  1     WALL OF STEEL      2 -  3         2  BASHING ATTACK 
AIMED BLOW         8 -  3     PARRY-LUNGE        3 -  5         2  SLASHING ATTACK
TOTAL PARRY       13 -  8     PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  6         2  WALL OF STEEL  
STRIKING ATTACK    9 -  8     BASHING ATTACK     1 -  8         1  STRIKING ATTACK
PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  1                                       1  TOTAL PARRY    
LUNGING ATTACK    11 - 11                                       1  PARRY-LUNGE    
                                                                1  LUNGING ATTACK 
                                                                1  PARRY-STRIKE   

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
STRIKING ATTACK  JUSTICE 4299               13   7  1  137 PEACE MAKERS (493)
BASHING ATTACK   SCRAG'S LIZARD 4988        13   8  1  137 DARK CIRCLE PETS II (572)
SLASHING ATTACK  MONGOL HORDE 4001          12   8  3  108 WORLDWIDE GORE (36)
WALL OF STEEL    PRIZMATYK WAHL 4252         9   3  1  107 MAGIC MAYHEM (485)
PARRY-STRIKE     I.O.U. 450                 24  21  0   95 ALPHABET SOUP (39)
TOTAL PARRY      ASPHYXIATE 3830            16   6  0   88 WAY TO GO! II (346)
LUNGING ATTACK   DHETHE 4258                11   7  0   85 DHOOMZDEY (486)
AIMED BLOW       CALISTA 3244                6   4  0   84 DAUGHTERS OF DARKNES (363)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    KASENKO 4445               12   5  1   83 PERFECTION QUEST II (513)
PARRY-LUNGE      KING RAT 4508              13  12  0   77 RISING SUN (515)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is JUSTICE 4299.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was BLACK BOOK 3658.  The ten other most popular fighters were BLACK EYE 3654, SUSIE 
4399, SEVYN SINES 4922, F. D. A. 4801, CONSPIRACY THEORY 4423, KING RAT 4508, VANISH 
4633, PIXIE BLIGHT 4427, KASENKO 4445, and SACRIFICE 4999.

The least popular fighter this week was SAUCED SEER 4984.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were DIXIE CUP 4910, PINCH HITTER 4911, GENERAL SMURF 4938, YANKEE 
DOODLE 3605, IAN 4245, DARKSEID 2350, ASPHYXIATE 3830, BOARRING B. TELL 4876, DUKE 
4980, and GREMLIN 4663.

The following warriors will travel to ADVANCED DUELMASTERS after next turn:

JUSTICE (73-4299) PEACE MAKERS (493)
SCRAG'S LIZARD (73-4988) DARK CIRCLE PETS II (572)

                                FACE-TO-FACE XXXII

     Our next Winter Face-to-Face will be held on Martin Luther King weekend, Friday 
through Sunday, 16-18 January 2004, at the Embassy Suites in Tempe, Arizona (4400 S 
Rural Rd).  Room rates are $119.00 per night, 1-2 occupancy, which includes breakfast.  
The rooms are blocked.  The reservations number is 480-897-7444; tell them you're with 
the "Reality Simulations Face to Face Convention" block.  Our room block will be 
released in mid-December, so please make sure you reserve your room before then.
     There is a free shuttle to the airport, as well as free parking.  The hotel is 
located down the freeway in Tempe.  All rooms have high speed internet (for an extra 
charge).  There is a fitness center, jacuzzi, and pool, and of course a bar and 
restaurant inside the hotel.  And there's Denny's right across the street.  Look for 
transportation info in the tournament information sheet.
     The tournament information sheet/strategy sheet should be out sometime in late 
November/early December. 
     If you haven't been to a Face-to-Face before, you're overdue.  If you have, 
you'll be back.  Don't miss this one, it'll be a blast!  See you there! 

                                          -- Green Eyes and the RSI Staff