Date   : 11/23/2006    Duedate: 12/06/2006


DM-74    TURN-352

This Weeks Top Honors


CORPS (346)
(74-4009) [14-3-1,84]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

SAM GOODY                      GEORGE JETSON
CORPS (346)                    HANNA BARBARIANS (504)
(74-4009) [14-3-1,84]          (74-4071) [2-0-1,27]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

SANDMAN                        SAM GOODY
DARKLINGS (342)                CORPS (346)
(74-2896) [9-13-2,71]          (74-4009) [14-3-1,84]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. CORPS (346)                 21
2. INSIGNIFICANCE (414)        17      CORPS (346)
3. SAND DANCERS (251)          11      Unchartered Team
4. DARKLINGS (342)              9
5. HANNA BARBARIANS (504)       6      HANNA BARBARIANS (504)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 0*HANNA BARBARIANS (504)     3   0  1  100   1/ 1 SAND DANCERS (251)        9  6 0
 2/ 1 CORPS (346)              420 294 23 58.8   2/ 3 DARKLINGS (342)           2  1 0
 3- 2 ARENA FELINES (461)       45  32  2 58.4   3/ 4 CORPS (346)               2  3 1
 4/ 3 DARKLINGS (342)          186 177  6 51.2   4/ 0*HANNA BARBARIANS (504)    1  0 0
 5/ 0 INSIGNIFICANCE (414)      71  73  8 49.3   5- 2 ARENA FELINES (461)       1  0 0
 6/ 4 SAND DANCERS (251)       798 865 32 48.0   6/ 0 INSIGNIFICANCE (414)      1  2 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                      SPY REPORT

     Ready for some action-packed adventure, some thrills, chills and spills?  Well 
fergit it, cause this is the Spyreport for DAYLA KIV.  MVP award for CANON?  CORPS' 
proud of him after beating DOLBY KLEE and getting 11 points.  Talk about yer major 
upsets!  VORGAN TEN TALH's match with SANDMAN cost him a loss of 5 points!  What a 
putz!  SPALDING fights so hard to be Duelmaster, then quits fighting and loses the 
title.  No one said he was a genius...  And I was just getting used to the 
ex-Duelmaster's habit of...(!)  Oh well, welcome SAM GOODY.  Aren't CORPS proud.  
(Oh, my.) Who was the wiseguy that said DAYLA KIV's Duelmaster was paying for drinks 
at The Crystal Wheel?  Don't look at me!   
     Look, you guys stick to fighting, all right?   
     Man, all these warriors dying and killing each other!  Don't you guys ever give 
it a break?  Like, who is this guy???  SAM GOODY gets sent to the Dark Arena, battles 
TALL SHARO-SKA, and returns to tell of it!!!  I bet CORPS manager is surprised!  
Fight, fight, fight.  Is that all you guys can do?   
     Remember, blood on a purple robe may stain.  Soak it in cold water, and hand 
wash.  I'm getting tired of writing this stuff, so I'm calling it quits.  Remember 
you guys, ease up sometimes!  Chill out!  Later, Debby Tonte  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SAM GOODY 4009               14   3  1    84       CORPS (346)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-SPALDING 4004                13   5  1    84       CORPS (346)
-CAT STEVENS 3363             12   6  0    84       ARENA FELINES (461)
 SANDMAN 2896                  9  13  2    71       DARKLINGS (342)
-POLE CAT 3734                 7   3  2    71       ARENA FELINES (461)
 GREEN DISEASE 3902            8   3  2    70       INSIGNIFICANCE (414)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 KRISSARA 4086                 6   3  0    52       SAND DANCERS (251)
 LARIS TYL ZORA 4097           5   0  0    49       SAND DANCERS (251)
 JUJUBLE 4044                  8  16  1    41       SAND DANCERS (251)
-DARTH DECLAWED 3420           7   6  0    40       ARENA FELINES (461)
 VORGAN TEN TALH 4093          5   1  0    39       SAND DANCERS (251)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-FEROCIOUS FELINE 3366         5   6  0    29       ARENA FELINES (461)
 GEORGE JETSON 4071            2   0  1    27       HANNA BARBARIANS (504)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-HONG KONG PHOOEY 4072         1   0  0    13       HANNA BARBARIANS (504)
 CANON 4098                    1   0  0    11       CORPS (346)
-SAND CRAPPER 4067             2   1  0     9       ARENA FELINES (461)
 DOLBY KLEE 4103               0   1  0     1       SAND DANCERS (251)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
DAIMLER 4091           0  1 0 CORPS 346             MARHAN HAMHAND 22     352 NONE    
TALL SHARO-SKA 21      0  1 0 DARK ARENA 0          SAM GOODY 4009        352 NONE    
DA MEAT 4100           0  1 0 INSIGNIFICANCE 414    MARHAN HAMHAND 22     352 NONE    
DA MEAT2 4099          0  1 0 INSIGNIFICANCE 414    CHANNA THE DANCER 24  352 NONE    

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Spalding -- Ah.  (long pause)  I suppose I should say something, but I'm a bit
occupied getting the sand out of my ears.  Er... good fight?  Enjoy the title?
Whatever. -- Korba Klee
P.S.  Be glad you don't have to think up a "column," or at least a sentence, because
your manager doesn't care?

Sandman -- Well, at least you didn't manage to kill ME, the way you did so many
others!  Does your manager even KNOW what you get up to? -- Jujuble

Ah, the pleasures of defeating standbys.  I just love it. -- Kirssara
P.S.  Of course, one has to be careful not to LOSE to the said standbys, because that
is... embarrassing.

I wish I could believe my undefeated record signalled my quality as a gladiator, but
it has a lot more to do with the number of standbys on the sands these days.  Oh,
well, a win is a win. -- Vorgan ten Talh

I want that Dirty Ruffian to take a BATH.  Gods, he stinks!  Really ripe. -- Laris
tyl Zora

2 November 2006
I received a Gift Certificate from someone.  I'm assuming it's for entry into the
Turf War 5.  Whoever sent this to me...please email me at rbaphomets@yahoo.com.

10 November 2006
     The Quest of the Best has come to an end.  Dark Knight Toker, host of the Quest,
wants to proclaim the Ultimate Victor and give a listing of prize winners.
     Lady Fern and her Flower Girls of the Consortium are the Ultimate Victors of the
Quest.  Well fought and there's nothing like coming from behind to leave us all in
the dust.  Can't wait to see you defend your title! (wink)
     Here is a complete list of managers who placed in prize positions:

1)  Lady Fern, mgr. Flower Girls
2)  Le Pentarque, mgr. Blood & Guts!
3)  Crip, mgr. Otto's Parts
4)  D.K. Heathen Hatebred, mgr. Odin's Chosen
5)  Ghab, mgr. Assassin Nation
6)  Fanthayne, mgr. Dark Raiders
7)  D.K. Toker, mgr. Silver Knights
8)  D.K. Wasby, mgr. Bronze Knights
9)  The Expatriate, mgr. Bleak Legion
10) Still the Distilled, mgr. Springborne Fair

     Thanks to all that had the gall to show up, but I really want to thank the
managers that had the mettle to survive and not run when they started getting their
butt handed to them.
                                                           Respect to All.
                                                           Quest #1 host,
                                                           Dark Knight Toker

14 November 2006
                                      A Tale of
                        Fusion Confusion Delusion Revolution
                                     as told by
                                Hammer the WordSmith

     SomeWhere Beyond ElseWhere and ElseWhen a hooded figure brooded upon the
lingering wisps of memory from days gone by.
     From the howling sands to the sanding howls the streams of thought bubbled and
flowed, winding endlessly entwined within the darkest recesses and lightest resources
of the learned and unlearned disciplines of managerial mayhem and manipulation.
     Nameless faces and faceless names floated in the swirling mists of madness
embalmed within the memories of one who knew he did not know how far reaching the
influences [both positive and negative] had rooted and flowered in the march of time
and energy expended in the historical markings of gladiatorial essence and excellence
     The tamed and the untamed coupled with the named and the unnamed resources that
spilt their sweat and blood on the sands of arenas both known and unknown had
metamorphosed into the dreamings and the schemings of the fadings of jadings and
paradings [in both public and private] amongst the elite and the indiscreet
posturings and babblings of managers becoming legends in their own minds and times.
     Hammer pondered upon beginnings and the seemingly endless myriad of endings
possibly possible among the interspersed and intertwined impossible possibilities
presently past and future.
     Echoing and reechoing in the vast depths and countless compartments along the
corridors of his mind, Hammer played and replayed the glories shared and dared in the
sixty-plus stabled arena on fabled Noblish Island DM 93.
     The training had been all too brief, but the competition generated by the multi
faceted personages inhabiting DM 93 and the sheer multitude of numbers had forever
instilled themselves in the heart and soul of the veteran manager [Hammer]; insomuch
that the migration to Niatoli Island DM 33 triggered the desire to emulate the glory
and the grandeur of the spectacle of stables vying for recognition from among the
virtually numberless no-name newbies making names for themselves as they numbered
their stables and accomplishments for all to see and behold, to the song and the
sound of the sight of clashing cold cruel steel simmering the flesh of gallant
gladiators consumed by the gory and the glory of crossing blades with the superior
and the inferior within the interior of Greywand's Global Gladiatorial Galaxy.
     Far far ago and long long away had many abandoned hope for a return to the
reminiscences revered by so many managers; predating even the generations of
gladiators graduating from Noblish Island and the years of yore and gore and
gallantry before.
     Rumblings and mumblings of a renovation rejuvenating the reflexes of managers
numbed by the numberless trysts of tourney tarnished stables began revolutionizing
the very fabric of time and space and time-honored tradition throughout the ranks of
visionary newbies and volatile veterans alike and dislike.
     History was being shaken to the core of the gore as glory and grandeur responded
to the revelry reverie revelations and reveille revolutionizing the creation of a new
arena in the making; populated by No-Tourney Warriors and Full Stable Participants
pledging to forge a new vision version of "The Fiercest and Best" for crossing blades
and crosser banter in the personal ads and team spotlight tomes.
     Now was the time for Hammer to emerge and once again merge his talent among the
gifted and grifted; answering the call to assemble the drifted [and to directly
divulge and converge with the dozens] for the destiny of destructive denizens
determined to build a new legacy upon the all-but-forgotten ashes of the old and
olden legends of times lost.
         [TIME JUMP]
     Hammer sifted the sands in the dead of night in the desert reaches [located
SomeWhere BeYond ElseWhere and ElseWhen] to discover 5 gladiators not tourney worthy,
yet interesting enough to begin their careers in a No-Tourney Arena!
     "They need not be dispatched to the Dark Arena," the veteran manager mused as he
sorted through paperwork long discarded and vaguely forgotten, "because there is
nothing like a good Blood Feud to provide inspiration for writing personal ads in the
arena newsletter! Besides, there are times when the replacement for a warrior wounded
mortally on the arena sands fares much better than the one exchanged from Torch
     Fights by Torch Light were certainly deemed unnecessary as Hammer had already
deduced that a number of determined stables would undoubtedly congregate with High
Octane Warriors under the guidance of Higher Octane Managers to populate and
depopulate the new No-Tourney Arena currently under construction in DM 81.
     Fortunately his feeble foray into the desert would yield somewhat suitable
candidates for the newfound purposes Hammer had in mind.
     From among the candidates to be found Hammer would be rewarded in time by
     Deep into the night Hammer searched and searched until five not-so-promising
stables were uncovered in the waning hours before dawn.
     Ripper discards were scattered far and wide, but this was not the time or the
hour to let sentimental views cloud the issue at hand.  Future events would lend
themselves to a suitable Ripper replacement, especially with the prospects Hammer was
now sorting for his selection decision to dispatch to the Gladiatorial Commission for
     Most managers have the luxury of selecting the best group [or discarding the
worst group!] Hammer had the novelty of rounding up the castaways from the New
Stables paperwork accumulated long ago from Maximillian's Morya Madness contest in DM
28 that were deemed below inferior as contest prizes [and thus banished from sight!]
     Hammer scrutinized and agonized over which group of gladiators were worth the
sacks of gold coins he was prepared to release to the Gladiatorial Commission for
fees to MAINTENANCE his new stable in the No-Tourney Arena.
     After what seemed like long hours passing by, Hammer discarded one and then
another group of hopefuls.  After lengthy debate a third was cast aside.  Deciding
between the final two groups found Hammer going back to interview the rejected
candidates time and time again [until a final decision was made that Hammer could
live with and his new stable could die with!] before the final quirks were hammered
out and pen put to paper to process the prospective puny stable with the Gladiatorial
     The only solace gained from the painful process was the knowledge that other
managers would be less tempted to run stables in DM 81 populated by their tourney-
worthy warriors [under the penalty of death imposed and enforced upon tourney
experienced gladiators by the Committee being formed to police and regulate such
matters!] as sworn to and signed in good faith by each registering manager.
         [TIME JUMP]
     Hammer had worked long and hard to find suitable candidates for his stable and
now it was time to begin their training.  The paperwork had been dispatched for
registration with the Gladiatorial Commission and now was the hour in which
preparation was paramount!
     Dispatch riders had arrived with the news that Considerable Bounty was being
offered as incentive rewards to those managers sending new stables to the No-Tourney
     Hammer realized this would Up the Ante [causing greater pause in the managerial
community for selecting suitable stables!] as the creative competition was certain to
escalate and produce Serious Sword Slinging Stables Staining the Arena Sands Red!
     Obviously a serious upgrade in the quality of competition migrating to the No-
Tourney Arena in DM 81 would definitely work in favor of Hammer; enormously
increasing the death toll percentage potential amongst the ranks of his new start-up
stable in DM 81 [Sands Running Red and Blood Feuds Running Rampant as Undoubtedly
     Hammer observed the futility of his new warriors training [as well as they could
for what they were made from!] while recent memories came to the forefront of his
     When the paperwork was nearly completed and names were selected for each
Gladiator, Hammer decided to name the stable according to what he had discovered in
the darkness while searching during the dismal hours of the desert night.
     These warriors would probably be more well suited to fight by Torch Light had
they fallen into the possession of most other managers!
     Paper Warriors better suited to confronting Dark Arena Monsters [rather than
being fed to the Gladiatorial Lions certain to be populating the regular No-Tourney
     Specimens blatantly better suited for feeding upon agitated armadillo ants than
for striving to attain recognition and fame in the No-Tourney Arena [or any arena!]
     Thus was AARDVARK HAMMERZ birthed and born for Greatness or Disgrace!
         [TIME JUMP]
     Dispatch riders on winged steeds brought the news Hammer had been awaiting!
     Not since the days of training on Noblish Island in DM 93 had Hammer encountered
such collective enthusiasm for crossing blades in a selected arena such as DM 81
[recalling the time Hammer generated a gathering of newbies to transfer to Niatoli
Island in DM 33 to match wits and cross blades with the assembling veterans upon
     The Consortium had represented the veterans well in DM 33 with the SWEETNESS
stable managed by Sweety Pie.  Now the good news had arrived that The Consortium was
seen registering a stable named LIFE IMPACTS in the No-Tourney Arena!
     Former alliance mates Darque and Kat had reportedly registered DARQUE AGES and
KATHOUSE with the Gladiatorial Commission.
     Morya Madness combatant LePentarque from DM 28 had registered LA PENTARCHIE and
longtime fixture Drake in North Fork DM 47 [recently returned from a lengthy hiatus]
had been lured by the competition to register DRAKE'S HARDWARE.
     Deke [at the helm of DOC LEGRAND'S LAB] was instrumental in promoting the No-
Tourney Arena by repeatedly negotiating terms with the Gladiatorial Commission.
Others had laid the groundwork before him, but Deke raised the banner and carried it
the final distance [Supported by Countless Managers too numerous to mention!] Salute
Yourselves for Your Efforts are Most Graciously Applauded throughout Alastari!
     Apex had signed in with CAROLINA BLUE as had Ghab with ASSASSIN NATION.
     Another familiar name was found on the rolls as DeGotti registered CULT OF
BACCHUS followed by DOOM KNIGHTS managed by Blackstorm.
     Also on the rolls to be noted were AS SEEN ON TV II managed by Indimar and
RAGNAROK'S WOLVES by none other than ragnorokwolf.
     Nomad had signed on with PHANTOM REGIMENT and Silas followed suit with
     Another notable signature was that of MasterBeru with CHILDHOOD HEROES and a
penchant for scribing Team Spotlights [A Plus in Any Arena!]
     Detective Kellumbo had followed the clues and was observed enroute to
registering a yet unannounced stable [such are the ways of sleuthhounds and such!]
     Rumor had it that the manager known as Roadkill was on his way to register a
stable after his namesake and Slugbait was close behind [obliviously lost in
     Finally [in no particular disorder!] managers Grimm, Woody, Terminator, Den and
Bill were also seen elbowing their way through the gathering registration crowd to
officially announce their participation in the No-Tourney Arena.
     COUNTLESS OTHER MANAGERS were known to be pondering the consequences of sending
stables to a No-Tourney Arena and had yet to make the commitment public knowledge as
to their intentions.
     Howbeit the Gladiatorial Commission was reportedly swamped with requests for New
Stable Registration Forms [whether for the Tempe Facer or No-Tourney Arena was
anybody's guess at the present time!]
     Judging from the furtive figures darting and ducking in the shadows and
alleyways throughout Alastari [as well as those huddled in taverns or communicating
with one another by various means available!] the success of such a No-Tourney Arena
was Ballooning far Beyond the Expectations of the Promoters and Petitioners Bar None!
had the Best Potential for attracting and assembling a congregation of competitors
rivaling the numbers of Noblish Island from days gone by!
       JANUARY 2007 MARKS THE BEGINNING of a Journey where both Newbies and Veterans
join together in a Historic Assemblage Celebrating the Crossing of Blades between
some of the Best Managed Stables in all of Alastari [Known and Unknown!]
                 "May Your Blades Be Sharp and Your Wits Sharper"
                                          Minister of War

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

SAM GOODY viciously butchered TALL SHARO-SKA in a 1 minute Dark Arena Title fight.
DAIMLER was murdered by MARHAN HAMHAND in a 1 minute brutal Dark Arena melee.
DA MEAT was assassinated by MARHAN HAMHAND in a 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
DA MEAT2 was butchered by CHANNA THE DANCER in a 1 minute Dark Arena contest.
SANDMAN overpowered VORGAN TEN TALH in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
GREEN DISEASE devastated JUJUBLE in a 1 minute uneven brawl.
KRISSARA savagely defeated DARSAL THE FALSE in a exciting 1 minute bloody struggle.
LARIS TYL ZORA overcame DARSAL THE FALSE in a 3 minute fight.
GEORGE JETSON handily defeated RORNIS THE DARK in a 1 minute uneven melee.
CANON vanquished DOLBY KLEE in a action packed 1 minute one-sided duel.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                   4         AIMED BLOW         3 -   1 -  1      75  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  2         LUNGING ATTACK    28 -  13 -  1      68  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         WALL OF STEEL      7 -   4 -  0      64  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   2         SLASHING ATTACK    3 -   2 -  0      60  |
|AIMED BLOW                       1         STRIKING ATTACK    5 -   4 -  1      56  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    1         TOTAL PARRY        2 -   2 -  0      50  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  1         PARRY-LUNGE        1 -   1 -  0      50  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      0         PARRY-RIPOSTE      6 -  12 -  1      33  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     0         BASHING ATTACK     6 -  14 -  0      30  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      0         PARRY-STRIKE       0 -   0 -  0       0  |

Turn 352 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

AIMED BLOW         1 -  0     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  0         3  LUNGING ATTACK 
STRIKING ATTACK    2 -  0     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  0         2  SLASHING ATTACK
WALL OF STEEL      1 -  0     SLASHING ATTACK    0 -  1         2  STRIKING ATTACK
PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  1     BASHING ATTACK     0 -  2         1  PARRY-RIPOSTE  
LUNGING ATTACK     2 -  2     TOTAL PARRY        0 -  0         1  AIMED BLOW     
                                                                1  WALL OF STEEL  
                                                                1  BASHING ATTACK 

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
LUNGING ATTACK   SAM GOODY 4009             14   3  1   84 CORPS (346)
AIMED BLOW       GREEN DISEASE 3902          8   3  2   70 INSIGNIFICANCE (414)
WALL OF STEEL    LARIS TYL ZORA 4097         5   0  0   49 SAND DANCERS (251)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is SANDMAN 2896.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was SAM GOODY 4009.  The ten other most popular fighters were KRISSARA 4086, LARIS 
DOLBY KLEE 4103, DAIMLER 4091, DA MEAT 4100, and DA MEAT2 4099.

The least popular fighter this week was JUJUBLE 4044.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were VORGAN TEN TALH 4093, DA MEAT2 4099, DA MEAT 4100, DAIMLER 4091, DOLBY 
KLEE 4103, GEORGE JETSON 4071, GREEN DISEASE 3902, CANON 4098, SANDMAN 2896, and 


     For those of you who keep track of such things, 5 additional warriors graduated 
from regular DM arenas (including closed arenas) since the last tournament.  

                       TONY TWILO (5-4525) of HOUSE OF PANCAKES
                           MARCIE (36-6076) of MER DE NOMS
                          WAR EAGLE (55-3289) of DRAGONFYRE
                         WIPEY (82-12634) of UNJUSTLY RENAMED 
                           FORMIDABLE (82-17495) of F-TROOP 

Congrats to the grads. -- Green Eyes