Date   : 08/14/2003    Duedate: 08/27/2003


DM-75    TURN-264

This Weeks Top Honors


(75-2764) [17-10-0,113]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

NATHANIEL                      PINKY OF DOOM
DARK TOADS (240)               LETHAL ANATOMY (225)
(75-2764) [17-10-0,113]        (75-2422) [6-2-1,60]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

IAN                            ALLOCUTION
DARK TOADS (240)               LEGALESE (253)
(75-2747) [22-10-0,111]        (75-2796) [12-8-0,85]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. DARK TOADS (240)            60
2. LEGALESE (253)              29      DARK TOADS (240)
3. LETHAL ANATOMY (225)        14      Unchartered Team
4. SAND DANCERS (67)            9
5. PARANOID ASYLUM (234)        3      LETHAL ANATOMY (225)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1*LETHAL ANATOMY (225)       6   3  1 66.7   1/ 1 DARK TOADS (240)         11  4 0
 2/ 2 DARK TOADS (240)         153  85  4 64.3   2/ 2 THE JUG O'NAUGHTS (233)   8  7 0
 3/ 0 I'M HISTORY (254)         42  33  4 56.0   3/ 3 SAND DANCERS (67)         5 10 0
 4/ 5 LEGALESE (253)            83  81  3 50.6   4/ 6 PARANOID ASYLUM (234)     4  3 1
 5/ 7 THE JUG O'NAUGHTS (233)  130 152 13 46.1   5/ 4 LEGALESE (253)            4 11 0
 6/ 8 PARANOID ASYLUM (234)     87 103 10 45.8   6/ 9*LETHAL ANATOMY (225)      1  2 0
 7/ 9 SAND DANCERS (67)        512 780 16 39.6   7/ 0 I'M HISTORY (254)         0  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                        *--=== LIRITH KAI REGIONAL NEWS ===--*

 DM  65 DAL SHANG (turn 296): DISORDER of PARANOIA (Jekyll, mgr.)
 DM  74 DAIYLA KIV (turn 269): TOM RIDDLE of SLYTHERIN HOUSE (Salazar Slytherin)
 DM  75 JADE MOUNTAIN (turn 263): FLIGHT of PARANOID ASYLUM (Jekyll, mgr.)
 DM  78 LIN TIRIAN (turn 251): BLANK of TREE PEOPLE (Elderberry, mgr.)
ADM 107 LIRIN KIV (turn 227): PHETMOLGE of UP TO NO GOOD from SIBIKHAS (She-Puppy)

                                      Top Teams
 DM  65 DAL SHANG (turn 296): DARK TOADS (TigToad, mgr.)
 DM  74 DAIYLA KIV (turn 269): 1988 DODGERS (Zalgor Prigg, mgr.)
 DM  75 JADE MOUNTAIN (turn 263): DARK TOADS (TigToad, mgr.)
 DM  78 LIN TIRIAN (turn 251): TREE PEOPLE (Elderberry, mgr.)
ADM 107 LIRIN KIV (turn 227): ELANTI HUNTERS (Sir Boyd, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
 DM  75 JADE MOUNTAIN (turn 263): FLIGHT of PARANOID ASYLUM (Jekyll, mgr.)
                      (turn 262): LARCENY of LEGALESE (The Judge, mgr.)
 DM  78 LIN TIRIAN (turn 251): MAD LODEN of SAND DANCERS (Jorja, mgr.)
                               PINE of TREE PEOPLE (Elderberry, mgr.)

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

     Well, it's come full circle... sort of.  I obtain the throne by defeating 
Nathaniel for a vacant throne.. only to have my manager "accidentally" sit me out 
thus giving up my rightful throne.  And the circle becomes complete <5 fights later> 
upon Nathaniel tasting my Scimitar in another duel for the throne.  The throne will 
be vacant this turn so all Toads and Legal Eagles and others within range will have 
to jockey for position.  Good dueling to all.  I will be entering Jade's Dark Arena 
in hopes of re-kindling my bloodlust that has been put on hold for quite a while now.  
I will either be going to the Isle in a pine box or with the severed head of one of 
Jade's dark creatures.  It's been real....
     Flight; Disciple of The Midnight Foundation

     All -- For those interested... Flight <Slasher> 11<1>-13-9-17-15-5-15. Faves SC, 
VH/VL. Adv Master Att, Master Init, AdEx Decise and Riposte, Ex Def.  Will be a 
Freshmen representing Jade in the next couple of tourneys.  Is currently heading to 
HomeGuard for a brief stint before I eventually relocate my Lirith grads to Lirin Kiv 
to represent this fine land and of course to renew my Disciples lashings of the 
filthy Toads.

                                      SPY REPORT

     Well, what are you looking at, JADE MOUNTAIN?  Ain't you never seen Snide 
Clemens before?  Ah, shaddup and listen to my news.  LETHAL ANATOMY turned their 
1-1-0 turn into a 6th place rank in the listings this turn.  Any better than this, 
and you get put on hit lists.  Of course, we're all terribly impressed to see 
LEETOLVINA win a fight and gain 20 points, terribly.  Tsk, tsk, LEETOLVINA beat SURLY 
SUE and SURLY SUE lost 19 points.  You're breakin' my heart.  Looks like JADE 
MOUNTAIN has some guts at least, FLIGHT the Duelmaster was this turn's 
most-challenged warrior.  FLIGHT Dark Arena Challenged TREEMASTER for JADE MOUNTAIN's 
Title this turn, and guess what happened?  And if variety is the spice of life, JADE 
MOUNTAIN may be getting bland, as FLIGHT stays top dog in the city.  The Green Axe, 
humph!  I've tasted better ale at mortuaries.  Where do they get this stuff?  From 
JADE MOUNTAIN's trash dumps?   
     My mother always told me, 'If you don't have anything nice to say, start 
talking.' I loved that woman.  What's the big D?  THE JUG O'NAUGHTS was the most 
avoided team?  Bunch of lily livered... grumble... mumble... curse...  And it looks 
like DARK TOADS avoided them the most this turn.  What a pack of would be losers, if 
you ask me.  Hmph.  I guess I can give a little credit to HAROLD of DARK TOADS for 
challenging up by 19 to TIBA TYL DAIN.  HAROLD won to get 61 points of recognition.  
And we have ALLOCUTION in a challenge, going down 10 points for the fight.  Guess 
what?  I thought ALLOCUTION showed great skill and promise when he overcame WOODY.  
All right, so I slept through it!  Big deal!   
     Death and Taxes.  The less death I see, the more it taxes my patience.  Let's 
see if anyone's dead or dying.  PARANOID ASYLUM has cause to pause today, as FLIGHT 
was sent to the Dark Arena, and came back--though not in the best of moods, I'll 
wager.  Titanium shields and bamboo daggers, guess what brave team is developing 
these kinds of weapons?   
     What does the JADE MOUNTAIN arena have in common with the inns?  It's just as 
comfortable to sleep in either place.  Ha ha ha ha!  Phlllt!  Just had to do that 
before I leave the fine city of JADE MOUNTAIN.  I feel much better now.  Glad to see 
the back of this place-- Snide Clemens  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 NATHANIEL 2764               17  10  0   113       DARK TOADS (240)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 IAN 2747                     22  10  0   111       DARK TOADS (240)
 THE LARCH 2788               11  12  1    93       THE JUG O'NAUGHTS (233)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BEN FRANKLIN 2727            13   7  0    90       I'M HISTORY (254)
 MORGANNA 2761                18  11  0    89       DARK TOADS (240)
 PREMEDITATION 2765           14  10  1    88       LEGALESE (253)
 ALLOCUTION 2796              12   8  0    85       LEGALESE (253)
 WOODY 2503                    6  53  0    71       SAND DANCERS (67)
 ESSINA TYL VERN 2694         14  27  1    70       SAND DANCERS (67)
 LENTIRIA 2754                15  16  1    69       SAND DANCERS (67)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MARIANNE KIND 2791           11  11  2    61       THE JUG O'NAUGHTS (233)
 HAROLD 2823                   9   3  0    61       DARK TOADS (240)
 PINKY OF DOOM 2422            6   2  1    60       LETHAL ANATOMY (225)
 TIBA TYL DAIN 2779           15  11  1    57       SAND DANCERS (67)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-RED MOSQUITO 2794             5   5  1    49       PARANOID ASYLUM (234)
 HABEAS CORPUS 2799            8  10  0    44       LEGALESE (253)
-YERIX 2782                    4   7  0    38       PARANOID ASYLUM (234)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 LEETOLVINA 2923               3   3  0    29       SAND DANCERS (67)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-BETSY ROSS 2908               1   1  0    11       I'M HISTORY (254)
-SAM ADAMS 2801                1   5  1    10       I'M HISTORY (254)
 SURLY SUE 2932                2   1  0     8       THE JUG O'NAUGHTS (233)
 LOCKJAW 2936                  1   1  0     8       THE JUG O'NAUGHTS (233)
-PATRICK HENRY 2902            1   1  0     7       I'M HISTORY (254)
 MONKEY KING 2904              1   3  0     6       PARANOID ASYLUM (234)
 MILLIE 2938                   1   0  0     5       THE JUG O'NAUGHTS (233)
 WRIT OF MANDAMUS 2940         0   1  0     1       LEGALESE (253)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
TREEMASTER 19          0  1 0 DARK ARENA 0          FLIGHT 2606           264 NONE    
MOCKINGBIRD 2918       3  3 0 DARK TOADS 240        STORMFALL 27          264 NONE    
DEFAULT 2939           0  1 0 LEGALESE 253          ARENAMASTER KENDAR 23 264 NONE    
WOBBLER 2912           2  5 0 LEGALESE 253          CINDY CHLAMIDIA 2734  261         

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Flight -- Ah, I see I achieved my plan.  Notice the way I won that fight then let you 
hit me!  I wanted you to take the throne so you could graduate.  You're welcome. -- 
P.S.  I hope you are ready for a re-match.

     How selfless of you!

The Larch -- You have a lot to learn about ladies... they rarely find being called 
'stout' a compliment. -- Morganna

Jekyll -- I'll be glad to keep it up on my way down... or something like that. -- 

Woody -- What the heck kind of a swing was that with your broadsword?  Damn man, you 
throw a few more like that and I'm not going to squeak out a victory next time! -- 

Premeditation -- Dat's da spirited attack I'm talkin about.  Morganna, see all tha 
extra abuse ya absorbed by bein da tough-guy...gal. -- The Larch

Leetolvina -- How'd you weasel your ways into a rematch, sister?  S'makin me surlier 
than usual.  And that's no small amount. -- Sue

Habeas Corpus -- A break through.  A ding-dong, honest-to-Karn (may her flexibility 
never lose its slink) improvement in my performance.  I'm celebratin. -- Marianne 

All -- Okayz, wellll...you can't do better than to send the home crowd home happy.  
Maybes a brief reprieve is in the mix. -- Still

Mocking Bird -- I see my mistake.  I was too nice to you alls.  Won't happen again. -
- Lockjaw

All -- As of this turn I will be taking a bit of a hiatus.  I will be activating Red 
Mosquito <and possibly Monkey King> sometime around the Freeze Date though.  I hope 
to be back participating in Jade within a few months.  I can't bring myself to leave 
this place for too long though... it's kind of grown on me. -- Ryan / Jekyll

     We will eagerly await your return.

Pinky of Doom -- I'm sure that when you have more experience in your pocket (or 
wherever you choose to carry it), you will be a doom-bringer of the first, well, 
maybe the fourth order. -- Lentiria

Harold -- Not yet, young Toad. -- Tiba tyl Dain

Larceny -- I've been robbed! -- Essina tyl Vern

Morgana -- You see, I have not completely lost the "teaching touch." -- Woody

Surly Sue -- Well, o-KAY.  BE that way, then! -- Leetolvina

Nathaniel -- Did you use a green quarterstaff, or a seasoned sapling?  Inquiring 
minds want to know, since Alarond raised the point. -- Lorana

18 July 2003
To All Managers -- I would like to take this time to announce that my alliance, The
Association, is no more.  Due to the dead weight managers of the alliance and their
lack of participation, DarkSpirit and I have formed a new alliance:  The Firm.  We
have taken on two members so far and are looking for a few more.  If you would like
to find out more about The Firm, you can diplo Dark Spirit, Unknowns XX in arena 15
or myself, Sungod, Sadists F2FII in arena 62.
                               --*  The Firm *--
                    Sungod -- Sadists F2FII -- 62
                    Dark Spirit -- Unknowns XX -- 15
                    Youngblood -- Wensinwasin -- 43
                    Tripwire -- Of Wolf and Man -- 1

26 July 2003
     Citizens of Alastari, a bright dawn has risen.  While you slept, a pernicious
force has entered the once-fair City of Aruak.  It fought alongside their treasured
warriors, it drank with their fans, and it slept with their women.  Now the masks are
coming off.
     Warriors, be afraid...be very afraid.  After years of Andorian managers ranting
that Aruak is the safest city in Alastari, the Frothingslosh Syndicate has selected
Aruak City as the home for its next epic 'contest'--Murder by Numbers II.  Our spies
have selected the warriors for extermination, and the executioners have had several
months to prepare.  Now a new age of darkness will descend upon Aruak, as the
Syndicate and its allies bring an entirely new level of competition to the arena!
Downchallenges!  Assassinations!  Small poodles as hors d'oeuvres!
     The Murder by Numbers II 'rules' will be announced next cycle.  However, we
invite all managers, from all corners of Alastari, to come to Aruak City and take
part...in one way or another.  Help defend the honor of a long heralded haven for the
pure, or join the forces of change in their siege of the ice-cream and cake
stronghold of the Dukes of Nerf-Dueling!
     This exercise is not for either the faint of heart or the weak willed.  Blood
will flow, brains will leak, and beer will be chugged.  Either way, we welcome you
with open arms and gleaming blades.
     This public service announcement has been brought to you by Frothingslosh Epic
Contests (tm), the number 86, and the letter 'K'.

The Frothingslosh Syndicate

29 July 2003
           *     *     *     *The Third Annual Turf War*     *     *     *
     Yes, it's time again for alliances to go to war!  TW3 will be held in DM 47
(North Fork) at a date to be  specified later--right after Crip's Incomprehensible
Contest is over...but I'm sure everyone wants to get their teams there soon!  Here
are the rules:

1.  Each alliance must have a leader declare the arrival of his alliance.  The leader
    will be responsible for verifying any and all teams/managers who declare to the
    alliance he/she is leading.
2.  Each manager, team declaring for the contest must have approval of the leader,
    donate one Roll-up Certificate ($5) to the prize pot (send it to me by diplo, by
    snail, or a note to customer service), and declare his/her team by diplo, p-ad or
3.  Each team may declare one warrior as champion.  All points scored by a champ are
4.  Prizes are as follows (mostly...there WILL be some things added as the prize pot
    grows with entry donations--this list is not final!)
    *  Highest scoring alliance -- Rename Arena 47 for a period of 6 months, one half
       of the total prize pot donated; roll-up certs.
    *  The Alliance with the most returns from the DA will get to re-name the DA
       monsters for a period of 6 months.
    *  The alliance with the most warriors listed as style masters will get to pick
       the Alastari city/arena to host the next Grand Tournament.
    *  The warrior with the most front page honors/awards will have the Arenamaster
       named after him for a period of 6 months.
    *  The Alliance with the most front page Honors/Awards will have the honor of
        picking the *slow* arena to host the Fifth Annual Turf War.
    *  The team with the most listings as Style Master will find out the favorites of
       one of their warriors.
    *  The warrior with the most listings as Style Master will fight at my expense
       for five turns (I will transfer to the manager's account).
    *  The Alliance with the most kills will be able to re-name the stand-in warriors
       for a period of 6 months.
    *  The warrior that scores the most total points will fight at my expense for 5
       turns (I will transfer $7.50 to the manager's account).
    *  The team that scores the most total points will receive an extra share of
       roll-up certs from the prize pot.
     There may be more categories to come, and the prize pot still has to be
divided...I'm open to category/prize ideas--and further donations to the prize pot.
     The contest will run for *TEN* turns; prizes will be awarded at the end of the
11th turn.
     Scoring will be as follows:
* 5 points per fight, doubled for each of the following conditions met:
     -- Two Alliance     -- Champion
     -- Challenge        -- Two Champions
     -- Bloodfeud        -- Challenger losing
     -- Kill
     (Note:  DA losses are exempt, but DA wins will be *tripled*!!!  Ex:  Happy
Slasher goes to the DA and dies, no points are lost.  If he wins, his team scores 60
points!  If he was a champ, he scores 120 points!)
     Use the following chart to calculate scores:
Conditions Met:       0     1     2     3     4     5     6     7
Points Per Fight:     5    10    20    40    80   160   320   640
* Awards/Honors and Style Masters will each be awarded points also.  Find the total
number of each (do note add Awards and Style Masters together) and consult the graph
below.  Champs that score an award or style master count as two.
     1 --   5      7 --  320
     2 --  10      8 --  640
     3 --  20      9 -- 1280
     4 --  40     10 -- 2560
     5 --  80     11 -- 5280
     6 -- 100     (x2 for each extra)
Note -- These categories *count as "triple"*--they will be figured for each team,
*AND* again for each alliance *as well as* for each warrior!
*  Each and every mention in the Spy Report is worth 5 points...period.
*  TVs will be scored on the same scale as Awards/Style Masters, but the total points
will be x10.  TC's will be scored as TV's, but x10 more.
Number of TV/TC's          Points Scored (TV/TC)
     1      50/ 500
     2     100/1000
     3     200/2000
     4     400/4000
     +     x2/ x2 (for each extra)
     Each alliance will start with 5000 points, scores for *fights* will be added to
the winner's total *AND* deducted from the losers.
     Come  one and all, defend your turf and the honor of your alliance...or your
                    Asmo Dius, TCB
                    Arenas, DM 47, DM 73

1 August 2003
     Assurnasirbanipal invites you to Talcama to participate in the third BATTLE
ROYAL contest.  It is a Delarquan contest so brutal that even some of Talcama's most
notable managers will refuse to participate.  The rules are simpler than any other
contest:  You may not avoid any other contest team.  There are no silly rules for who
can and can't compete.  Any team in Talcama is eligible to compete.  The scoring is
also quite simple (+1 for a win, +1 for a kill (+1 for the win), -1 for a loss) and
the first team to reach 25 points is the winner.
     Scoring will be live--the results for the turn posted in the newsletter.  The
winner will be able to fight their contest team in Talcama for free for 6 months but
more importantly will win a contest against some of the best managers who play the
game in one of the hardest contests in the game.
     First turn for BATTLE ROYAL 3 is Talcama Turn 465, which is due August 30.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

FLIGHT butchered TREEMASTER in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
MOCKINGBIRD was viciously butchered by STORMFALL in a 2 minute Dark Arena battle.
DEFAULT was murdered by ARENAMASTER KENDAR in a 1 minute gruesome Dark Arena fight.
AGONOUS ANKLE was butchered by DAR-KOL BLACKBROWS in a 1 minute Dark Arena contest.
IAN overpowered THE LARCH in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
ALLOCUTION viciously subdued WOODY in a popular 2 minute expert's Challenge brawl.
HAROLD beat TIBA TYL DAIN in a 4 minute Challenge brawl.
HABEAS CORPUS was handily defeated by PINKY OF DOOM in a 1 minute Challenge fight.
BEN FRANKLIN was vanquished by NATHANIEL in a 1 minute uneven Title duel.
PREMEDITATION vanquished ESSINA TYL VERN in a 1 minute uneven fight.
LENTIRIA was vanquished by MORGANNA in a exciting 1 minute one-sided fight.
MARIANNE KIND handily defeated STONEFACE MIKARN in a 3 minute brutal one-sided bout.
SURLY SUE was demolished by LEETOLVINA in a 1 minute mismatched competition.
MONKEY KING slimly lost to LOCKJAW in a crowd pleasing 4 minute gory novice's battle.
MILLIE overcame WRIT OF MANDAMUS in a 2 minute novice's conflict.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|WALL OF STEEL                    5         TOTAL PARRY       12 -   6 -  0      67  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   4         LUNGING ATTACK    32 -  19 -  1      63  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   4         BASHING ATTACK    27 -  19 -  4      59  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  4         PARRY-STRIKE       7 -   8 -  0      47  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     2         SLASHING ATTACK    9 -  11 -  1      45  |
|AIMED BLOW                       2         STRIKING ATTACK   11 -  15 -  1      42  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      1         WALL OF STEEL     24 -  36 -  1      40  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  1         PARRY-LUNGE        3 -   5 -  0      38  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      1         AIMED BLOW         6 -  10 -  0      38  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    1         PARRY-RIPOSTE      5 -  15 -  1      25  |

Turn 264 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  0     STRIKING ATTACK    1 -  3         3  BASHING ATTACK 
PARRY-STRIKE       2 -  0     WALL OF STEEL      1 -  4         3  WALL OF STEEL  
SLASHING ATTACK    1 -  0     AIMED BLOW         0 -  2         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
TOTAL PARRY        1 -  0     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  1         1  AIMED BLOW     
BASHING ATTACK     3 -  1                                       1  PARRY-RIPOSTE  
LUNGING ATTACK     2 -  2                                       1  PARRY-STRIKE   

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
BASHING ATTACK   NATHANIEL 2764             17  10  0  113 DARK TOADS (240)
LUNGING ATTACK   IAN 2747                   22  10  0  111 DARK TOADS (240)
AIMED BLOW       BEN FRANKLIN 2727          13   7  0   90 I'M HISTORY (254)
WALL OF STEEL    MORGANNA 2761              18  11  0   89 DARK TOADS (240)
TOTAL PARRY      HAROLD 2823                 9   3  0   61 DARK TOADS (240)

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
STRIKING ATTACK  PINKY OF DOOM 2422          6   2  1   60 LETHAL ANATOMY (225)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is IAN 2747.  The most popular warrior this turn was 
ALLOCUTION 2796.  The ten other most popular fighters were MONKEY KING 2904, MARIANNE 
IAN 2747, WOODY 2503, NATHANIEL 2764, and PREMEDITATION 2765.

The least popular fighter this week was SURLY SUE 2932.  The other ten least popular 
HAROLD 2823, and DEFAULT 2939.

The following warriors will travel to ADVANCED DUELMASTERS after next turn:

NATHANIEL (75-2764) DARK TOADS (240)

The following warriors have traveled to ADVANCED DUELMASTERS after fighting this turn: