DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 01/02/2008    Duedate: 01/15/2008

SHADOWSPIRE ARENA

DM-81    TURN-26

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

ANVIL IRONFIST
DRAGONBANE GUILD (13)
(81-84) [22-4-0,129]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

ANVIL IRONFIST                 OWSLEY
DRAGONBANE GUILD (13)          ELECTRIC KOOL-AID (68)
(81-84) [22-4-0,129]           (81-570) [4-1-0,38]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

DA VINCI                       NUYEN NICK
DARQUE AGES (29)               FUCHI OWNED (54)
(81-166) [13-13-0,98]          (81-331) [13-10-3,122]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

FUCHI OWNED (54)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. BATTLE GRUNTS (20)          56
2. ELECTRIC KOOL-AID (68)      48      4-LETTER CAVEMEN (65)
3. HOUSE OF HEARTS (56)        40      Unchartered Team
4. OF WOLF AND MAN (57)        39
5. DARQUE AGES (29)            37      ELECTRIC KOOL-AID (68)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 4-LETTER CAVEMEN (65)     33  17  1 66.0   1/ 5 FUCHI OWNED (54)         12  3 1
 2/ 2 DRAGONBANE GUILD (13)     83  47  2 63.8   2/ 3 LA PENTARCHIE (11)       11  4 0
 3/ 3 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (18)      83  47  1 63.8   3/10 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (18)     11  4 0
 4/ 4 LA PENTARCHIE (11)        81  49  4 62.3   4/15 OF WOLF AND MAN (57)     10  5 0
 5/ 5 DARQUE AGES (29)          76  53  1 58.9   5/ 4 CLAN LONGBEARD (39)      10  5 0
 6/ 6 AMERICAN MUSCLE (43)      75  55  4 57.7   6/16*ELECTRIC KOOL-AID (68)    9  5 2
 7/13*ELECTRIC KOOL-AID (68)    13  10  2 56.5   7/ 7 DRAGONBANE GUILD (13)     9  6 0
 8/ 8 THE DRAUGS (17)           71  59  1 54.6   8/ 2 CHILDHOOD HEROES (8)      9  6 0
 9- 9 ERRATA (44)               64  55  2 53.8   9/ 8 DARQUE AGES (29)          8  7 0
10/ 7 CULT OF BACCHUS (4)       61  53  2 53.5  10/ 6 ALE HOUSE MERCS (5)       8  7 0
11/10 CLAN LONGBEARD (39)       69  61  3 53.1  11/13 AMERICAN MUSCLE (43)      8  7 0
12/11 FUCHI OWNED (54)          63  57  3 52.5  12/ 9 4-LETTER CAVEMEN (65)     8  7 0
13-12 RODENT CLAN (37)          62  61  3 50.4  13- 1 ERRATA (44)               7  3 0
14/16 CHILDHOOD HEROES (8)      58  60  4 49.2  14/24 HOUSE OF HEARTS (56)      7  7 0
15/14 ALE HOUSE MERCS (5)       63  67  2 48.5  15/12 AARP (41)                 7  8 1
16/15 LITERATE LOONS (40)       62  68  1 47.7  16/18 BATTLE GRUNTS (20)        6  9 0
17/17 BIG LAKE OUTCASTS (19)    59  65  5 47.6  17/14 TEAM SAVAGE (67)          6  9 0
18/23 OF WOLF AND MAN (57)      50  60  3 45.5  18/26 THE DRAUGS (17)           6  9 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19/21 WARMASTERS (15)           58  71  5 45.0  19-11 RODENT CLAN (37)          5  5 2
20/18 KATHOUSE (3)              57  71  2 44.5  20/25 BIG LAKE OUTCASTS (19)    5  9 0
21/20 CLAN IRONFIST (52)        51  64  3 44.3  21/22 WARMASTERS (15)           5  9 0
22/22 THE MONGOLOIDS II (30)    48  61  2 44.0  22/19 LITERATE LOONS (40)       5 10 0
23/19 D2 MIGHTY DUCKS (32)      46  59  1 43.8  23/20 CLAN IRONFIST (52)        5 10 0
24/26 HOUSE OF HEARTS (56)      43  56  2 43.4  24/23 THE MONGOLOIDS II (30)    4  2 0
25/24 BATTLE GRUNTS (20)        56  74  5 43.1  25/17 CULT OF BACCHUS (4)       4 10 0
26/25 AARP (41)                 51  72  9 41.5  26/28 BLADE MAGES (66)          3  6 0
27/27 TEAM SAVAGE (67)          17  32  2 34.7  27/21 D2 MIGHTY DUCKS (32)      3 12 0
28/28 HUCKLE'S CATS (51)        24  50  0 32.4  28/27 KATHOUSE (3)              3 12 0
29/29 BLADE MAGES (66)          13  36  1 26.5  29/29 HUCKLE'S CATS (51)        1  5 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

I return for a second turn as Duelmaster.
     Impala -- I was shocked that you would down-challenge 50 points!  Ok, I guess
when you are (were) the top ranked warrior and are challenging the throne it isn't
much of a down-challenge is it?  No, I was pleased to face the top challenger.
Considering the style match-up I can't say I wanted to fight, but it was appropriate.
Just remember, wastes don't always lose that match-up!
     As for the challenge, I am most surprised that it was one of three that Errata
sent the Guild's way last turn.  We recognize that challenges are a part of arena
life and in general expect to be challenged, but three in one turn?  That will get
our attention.
     An accomplishment I would like to point out, I have finally managed to shake
Edward Gorey of the Literate Loons to claim, by myself, the position of having the
most individual wins in the arena.  I will need to keep winning to hold that
position, of course, but that is the goal anyway.  And also worthy of noting, AARP
has continued its lethal ways, this time depriving House of Hearts of their little
Kitty.  That is kill number 9 for the old folks.
     As for my personal contribution to the throne, I offer up an iron dragon tooth.
It seemed a fitting combination of individual and guild.  Anvil Ironfist, Duelmaster
of Shadowspire
     "Those who think they can and those who think they can't are both right."

                                      SPY REPORT

     Oh, hi.  Its just little 'ol Debby Tonte.  Thought I'd check out SHADOWSPIRE to 
see what's new.  Like, ERRATA had to be so embarrassed when they got kicked off #1 
spot by FUCHI OWNED!  Way to go FUCHI OWNED!  OF WOLF AND MAN had like a really 
albendranius week!  Those hunks got a 4-1-0 and wound up as 4th team!  One team 
deserves special mention 'cause they moved up 7 after going 5-0-0.  Keep it up, 
KELLUMBO'S KIDS!  MVP award for CHAUCER?  DARQUE AGES' proud of him after beating 
BRENDAN BEHAN and getting 24 points.  Talk about yer big time losers!  BRENDAN BEHAN 
got smashed by CHAUCER, and lost 25 points!  This Duelmaster is like something else!  
ANVIL IRONFIST stopped BREGDRAUG dead in his tracks!  I hear the top team insists all 
their warriors get nine hours sleep.  They want photogenic fighters for PR photos.   
     AAARRGH!!!  I HATE SPYREPORTING!!!  Sorry.  I just had to say it.  The warriors 
of KELLUMBO'S KIDS must be getting lonely.  They were the most avoided team.  Do you 
guys know something that I don't?  I don't know what ALE HOUSE MERCS' been doing.  
They certainly haven't been accepting many fights from KELLUMBO'S KIDS, that's fer 
sher.  Can CLAN LONGBEARD's KREK be more popular than me?  He was challenged the 
most, but is that really the same?  See if I ever talk to THE SMALL CAT again!  CYRUS 
IRONFIST was so low when He challenged he.  Hhmph!  THE SMALL CAT beat CYRUS 
IRONFIST.  No surprise about that.  Really I'm not surprised THE SMALL CAT would do 
such a scummy thing, either.  INDIA is being unfair.  She's challenged down 17 
against CEDRIC IRONFIST.  I don't know why they let this stuff go on.  (I'd better 
shut up) I was sorry to see such an unfair "fight" in SHADOWSPIRE.  INDIA got 2 
points after beating CEDRIC IRONFIST, 17 points below her.  For sure, I was holding 
my breath when I found out GRANITE challenged SNAKE EYES.  After all, haven't BATTLE 
GRUNTS and CHILDHOOD HEROES had a long standing duel in SHADOWSPIRE?  It wasn't a 
spectacular fight, or anything, but SNAKE EYES wants me to write about it since he 
was overcame by GRANITE.  Satisfied?   
     What does a fighter fight for?  I mean, the crowds don't give a hoot if someone 
gets killed.  Not after four more fights.  HADES' ANGEL really fought hard against 
FALSE TEETH.  That'll teach AARP not to go and kill any of TEAM SAVAGE's guys again, 
huh!  What if they had a fight and nobody showed up?  I'd be out of a job, that's 
what!!!   
     Remember, blood on a purple robe may stain.  Soak it in cold water, and hand 
wash.  I'm getting tired of writing this stuff, so I'm calling it quits.  Its been 
really albendranius!  Later, guys-- Debby Tonte  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ANVIL IRONFIST 84            22   4  0   129       DRAGONBANE GUILD (13)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 NUYEN NICK 331               13  10  3   122       FUCHI OWNED (54)
 THE BIG CAT 75               15  11  0   120       LA PENTARCHIE (11)
 KIRI FACADE 37               17   9  2   108       KATHOUSE (3)
 MCBAIN 318                   15   9  0   107       FUCHI OWNED (54)
 JOAN OF ARC 165              16  10  0   106       DARQUE AGES (29)
 HARDRADA 353                 18   5  0   105       DRAGONBANE GUILD (13)
 '70 SUPERBIRD 233            16  10  1   105       AMERICAN MUSCLE (43)
-IMPALA 240                   17   7  1   102       ERRATA (44)
 THE SMALL CAT 74             16  10  1   102       LA PENTARCHIE (11)
 CHAUCER 164                  11  15  1   102       DARQUE AGES (29)
 BREGDRAUG 103                12  14  1   101       THE DRAUGS (17)
-FOUNTAIN 241                 10  14  1    99       ERRATA (44)
 DA VINCI 166                 13  13  0    98       DARQUE AGES (29)
 CONSORTIUM? 77               19   7  0    97       LA PENTARCHIE (11)
 DECIMUS 97                   17   9  2    93       WARMASTERS (15)
 ANGRENDRAUG 105              17   9  0    92       THE DRAUGS (17)
 KREK 213                     14  12  1    92       CLAN LONGBEARD (39)
 '69 CHARGER 237              16  10  1    91       AMERICAN MUSCLE (43)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-PLAGUENOG 205                11  14  0    87       RODENT CLAN (37)
 GRANITE 118                  12  14  0    86       BATTLE GRUNTS (20)
 HUNTER 120                   11  15  1    86       BATTLE GRUNTS (20)
 E.E. CUMMINGS 219            13  13  0    84       LITERATE LOONS (40)
 HA-THRUST! 180               13   8  0    84       D2 MIGHTY DUCKS (32)
-STRAY CAT 242                15   8  0    83       ERRATA (44)
 SLIM 454                     10   7  0    82       CLAN LONGBEARD (39)
 KRYSTA 41                    16   8  0    81       CULT OF BACCHUS (4)
 BALDSPOT 429                 10   8  2    81       AARP (41)
 LIATH 398                    12   8  1    80       OF WOLF AND MAN (57)
 BRENDAN BEHAN 221            15  11  1    79       LITERATE LOONS (40)
 NATTY LIGHT 443              12   6  0    79       ALE HOUSE MERCS (5)
 BARON STONEWALL 85           14  12  2    78       DRAGONBANE GUILD (13)
 DJAIMZ 168                   15  11  1    75       THE MONGOLOIDS II (30)
 WONDER WOMAN 62              12  12  1    75       CHILDHOOD HEROES (8)
 GUTENBERG 167                15  11  0    73       DARQUE AGES (29)
 BIG BROTHER 59               12  12  0    71       CHILDHOOD HEROES (8)
 HO! HA-HA! GUARD! 178        10  11  0    70       D2 MIGHTY DUCKS (32)
 DEANA 112                    16  10  0    67       KELLUMBO'S KIDS (18)
 SGT. YORK 61                 11  13  1    67       CHILDHOOD HEROES (8)
 CYRUS IRONFIST 486           11   3  1    67       CLAN IRONFIST (52)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 THAG 513                      7   3  0    67       4-LETTER CAVEMEN (65)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 EDWARD GOREY 222             20   6  0    66       LITERATE LOONS (40)
 IMPORT-EXPORT 76             14  12  3    66       LA PENTARCHIE (11)
 CRIMSON 122                  13  13  1    66       BATTLE GRUNTS (20)
-STUMP 238                    12  12  0    66       ERRATA (44)
 DEXTER 452                   11   5  0    66       OF WOLF AND MAN (57)
-ZIPPO 239                    10  14  0    66       ERRATA (44)
 ORC CHOPS 490                 7   7  0    66       FUCHI OWNED (54)
 SNAKE EYES 58                12  12  1    64       CHILDHOOD HEROES (8)
 DOWNTOWN BROWN 477            9   6  1    63       ALE HOUSE MERCS (5)
 DJOHEY DJR. 288              13  12  1    62       THE MONGOLOIDS II (30)
 WHLOTTA ROSIE 423             9  10  0    62       KATHOUSE (3)
 GURG 515                      7   3  0    62       4-LETTER CAVEMEN (65)
 POWR GORESLINGER 117         10  15  2    61       BIG LAKE OUTCASTS (19)
 POKER FACE 325               10  10  1    61       HOUSE OF HEARTS (56)
 LLUD 216                     13  13  0    60       CLAN LONGBEARD (39)
 SIMON IRONFIST 414            8  11  1    59       CLAN IRONFIST (52)
 CELEGDRAUG 107               16  10  0    58       THE DRAUGS (17)
 INDIA 391                    15   6  0    58       KELLUMBO'S KIDS (18)
 TYRA 416                     14   5  0    58       KELLUMBO'S KIDS (18)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 '69 DAYTONA 235              15  11  0    56       AMERICAN MUSCLE (43)
 IRON MASK 403                 6  14  0    56       BATTLE GRUNTS (20)
 BORNE 214                    14  12  1    55       CLAN LONGBEARD (39)
 ANGUS 217                    14  12  1    55       CLAN LONGBEARD (39)
 SATAN'S ECHO 370             12   9  1    55       BIG LAKE OUTCASTS (19)
 ALANNA WYRMCLAW 555           6   3  0    53       DRAGONBANE GUILD (13)
 NIGHTBANE 377                15   6  0    52       KELLUMBO'S KIDS (18)
 RAT-LOVING CAT 529            9   2  0    52       LA PENTARCHIE (11)
 SPIN1 182                     8  13  1    52       D2 MIGHTY DUCKS (32)
 GENGHIS TRON 285              6  18  0    51       HUCKLE'S CATS (51)
 FELIX 437                    10   7  0    50       WARMASTERS (15)
 LONG NOSE HAIRS 225          11  15  1    49       AARP (41)
-THE MAD RATTER 523            8   3  0    49       RODENT CLAN (37)
 NURM 511                      7   3  0    49       4-LETTER CAVEMEN (65)
 FLOR 263                     13   9  0    48       CULT OF BACCHUS (4)
 DAGRDRAUG 297                12  12  0    48       THE DRAUGS (17)
 J.G. BALLARD 218             11  15  0    48       LITERATE LOONS (40)
 SPONGE BATH 226              10  16  2    48       AARP (41)
 CHROMIAN 40                  11  13  1    47       CULT OF BACCHUS (4)
 '69 MUSTANG BOSS 236         10  16  1    47       AMERICAN MUSCLE (43)
 POWDER HOUND 479              8   7  0    46       ALE HOUSE MERCS (5)
 DOMINO 433                    8   7  0    45       HOUSE OF HEARTS (56)
 RUPERT IRONFIST 301           9  14  0    44       CLAN IRONFIST (52)
 CEDRIC IRONFIST 303           6  17  1    43       CLAN IRONFIST (52)
 GARK 512                      6   4  0    43       4-LETTER CAVEMEN (65)
 ONYX 453                     11   6  0    42       FUCHI OWNED (54)
 BLACK MARIA 435               9   6  0    42       HOUSE OF HEARTS (56)
-ETHER BUNNY 517               5   7  0    41       RODENT CLAN (37)
 GRON DA CAVEMAN 400          10  10  0    40       DRAGONBANE GUILD (13)
 CHUPACABRON 284               8  16  0    40       HUCKLE'S CATS (51)
 OWSLEY 570                    4   1  0    38       ELECTRIC KOOL-AID (68)
 FERAL CHILD 533               5   5  0    37       TEAM SAVAGE (67)
 HARM HEELHACKER 385           8  12  0    36       BIG LAKE OUTCASTS (19)
 MOOSE DROOL 563               6   2  0    35       ALE HOUSE MERCS (5)
 HADES' ANGEL 535              5   5  1    35       TEAM SAVAGE (67)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 KESEY 566                     3   2  1    33       ELECTRIC KOOL-AID (68)
 HELL'S HERALD 536             3   7  0    31       TEAM SAVAGE (67)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 GARTH IRONFIST 485            5   9  0    30       CLAN IRONFIST (52)
 CAPTAIN TRIPS 567             4   1  0    29       ELECTRIC KOOL-AID (68)
 DESIREE 577                   3   2  0    29       KELLUMBO'S KIDS (18)
 ROQUE 549                     5   4  0    28       CULT OF BACCHUS (4)
 LUTHERIUS 562                 6   2  1    25       WARMASTERS (15)
 BAD LASS 538                  6   4  0    25       KATHOUSE (3)
 MORTE D'AMOUR 528             5   6  0    25       BLADE MAGES (66)
 AMERAUDUR 559                 2   6  1    24       BLADE MAGES (66)
 DOMINATRIX 583                2   1  0    24       OF WOLF AND MAN (57)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 FALSE TEETH 521               4   8  2    23       AARP (41)
 THE CLAPPER 589               2   1  0    19       FUCHI OWNED (54)
 DURG 531                      5   3  0    18       4-LETTER CAVEMEN (65)
 PERFECT POREMBA 539           4   6  0    18       KATHOUSE (3)
 PREPARATION H 587             2   1  0    18       AARP (41)
 REFRIGERATOR PERRY 552        5   2  0    17       CHILDHOOD HEROES (8)
 CHRELD 525                    3   8  0    17       BLADE MAGES (66)
 WARG 582                      3   0  0    15       OF WOLF AND MAN (57)
 KIRYK 565                     3   4  0    14       WARMASTERS (15)
 SCARRO 602                    1   0  0    14       WARMASTERS (15)
 COOL BREEZE 596               1   1  1    12       ELECTRIC KOOL-AID (68)
-SLAUGHTER MOUSE 5 595         1   0  1    11       RODENT CLAN (37)
 DUCK OR ELSE 542              2   4  0    10       D2 MIGHTY DUCKS (32)
 DUCK DODGERS 532              1   6  0     9       D2 MIGHTY DUCKS (32)
 '70 CHEVELLE SS 590           1   2  0     9       AMERICAN MUSCLE (43)
 PETRARCH 579                  2   2  0     8       DARQUE AGES (29)
 SUREDRAUG 586                 1   2  0     8       THE DRAUGS (17)
 MAL FUNCTION 569              1   4  0     7       ELECTRIC KOOL-AID (68)
 EXILED HERO 585               1   2  0     5       TEAM SAVAGE (67)
 GRATH 581                     1   2  0     5       OF WOLF AND MAN (57)
 BAKDIZBANIAN 598              1   1  0     4       KATHOUSE (3)
 KARCH 584                     1   1  0     4       CULT OF BACCHUS (4)
 RYAK RAZORSAW 597             0   2  0     2       BIG LAKE OUTCASTS (19)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
GROLSCH 45             13 10 1 ALE HOUSE MERCS 5    CYRUS IRONFIST 486     23  REVENGED
RODENT CLANSMAN 603     0  1 0 ALE HOUSE MERCS 5    ARENAMASTER            26  NONE
'64 GTO 578             1  1 0 AMERICAN MUSCLE 43   ENEMY PAWN 572         23   
1 LAST GRUNT 593        0  1 0 BATTLE GRUNTS 20     SLAUGHTER MOUSE 5 595  25   
GRUNTLESS 600           0  1 0 BATTLE GRUNTS 20     HIGH ELF               26  NONE
ROUGE 121              12 12 3 BATTLE GRUNTS 20     NUYEN NICK 331         24   
GIRD THE STRONG 604     0  1 0 BIG LAKE OUTCASTS 19 COOL BREEZE 596        26   
HARDOR 413              6  7 1 CULT OF BACCHUS 4    '70 SUPERBIRD 233      23   
CLUBBER JACK 599        0  2 0 HOUSE OF HEARTS 56   BLACK ORC              26  NONE
KITTY 575               2  1 0 HOUSE OF HEARTS 56   FALSE TEETH 521        25   
COMIC BOOK GUY 588      0  3 0 LITERATE LOONS 40    HIGH ELF               26  NONE
GK CHESTERTON 305       3 18 0 LITERATE LOONS 40    ANGUS 217              23  REVENGED
CHESHIRE RAT 204       13  8 0 RODENT CLAN 37       KIRI FACADE 37         22  REVENGED
ENEMY PAWN 572          2  3 1 TEAM SAVAGE 67       KESEY 566              26   
KINGS RANSOM 576        1  1 0 TEAM SAVAGE 67       FALSE TEETH 521        23  JUST REVENGED
SARNDRAUG 469           9  4 0 THE DRAUGS 17        DJOHEY DJR. 288        23  REVENGED

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Nomad -- Yeah, I need to find a way to slow your team down.  Nothing personal, just
trying to stick you with some losses. -- DK

Durg -- Fair enough.  When you live by the down challenge, you have to expect it to
come back from time to time.  Smart challenge on your part.  I'll be avoiding your
team for a while to come, so feel free to waste those challenges. -- Kellumbo

Nomad -- You realize that 4-Letter Cavemen is ahead of both of us in the rankings?
If we each went out of our way to send a few losses their way, one of our teams, or
even La Pentarchie could move up to the top.  Just a thought. -- DK

Hardrada -- Boy did I choose the wrong time to switch things up.  Now I have plague
on my face.  Nice job! -- PlagueNog

Battle Grunts -- Since I know you love your downchallenges and Slaughter Mouse 5
doesn't feel like kicking off his career with 4 losses in a row or possible death to
Hunter, the Rodent Clan will be sitting out during the bloodfeud. -- SwineTiger

Errata -- Three challenges on one turn?  How did we earn such attention? --
Dragonbane Guild

Plaguenog -- Not the result you expected from that challenge? -- Hardrada

Zippo -- Nice fight.  Zip-Zip and it was over. -- Alanna Wyrmclaw

Stump -- A bit too much of your team this turn, but you certainly made a good
challenge. -- Gron

Cavemen -- I suspect we will match-up sometime.  Did you intend that message as a
threat?  Perhaps I am to fear that my fate with you is somehow not desirable?  As you
know, Cavemen are always dangerous, but when two match-up it can be quite
interesting.  I look forward to it. -- Gron Da "original" Caveman

Angus -- Born and bred for one purpose.  And what's the result? Failure.  To heck
with y'all! -- Comic Book Guy

Thag -- Too bad you're stuck with a 4-letter name, otherwise I could've come up with
a more appropriate 3-letter variety.  Aag?  Bag?  Cag?  Dag?  Eag?.....No, maybe not.
-- J.G. Ballard

Joan of Arc--
     And so went Joan of Arc,
     A harlot with all her art,
        A succubus who, 
        Would always mistrue,
     Success had a Godly part.
--e.e. cummings

Swinetiger -- Dude, leave my mercs alone.  They're already dropping like flies as it
is, without some rogue maverick renegade manager luring them to their team only to
send him to the dark arena.  If you look at the list of the dead, you will see I have
returned the favor, and all it cost me was a small hunk of cheese.  Boo ya. -- Pauly

Nuln -- Thanks for the pigheads, you know me all too well.  Not to mention that I was
getting dangerously low on pigheads.  And I don't think I need to remind you about
what happened the last time I ran out. -- Pauly

All -- I know I said I was going to tell the tale of Elephest, but deocorum prohibits
me from putting into print, the base and disgusting (and let's not forget vile and
hedonistic) acts that occurred.  Plus, until last turn I had been running on
maintenence for probably 5 or 6 turns. -- Pauly

Tyra -- Wow.  I suck. -- Moose Drool

22 December 2007
All -- Just that tired old reminder to check your e-mail settings when you send ads
and such.  Please send stuff as plain text rather than as HTML or formatted text.
HAL, being the simple golem it is, doesn't know what to do with anything other than
plain text.  Note, this also means it doesn't know what to do with "smart" or "curly"
quotes, whether single or double, em-dashes (rendered here as two hyphens "--") or
everyone's favourite ellipsis (..., aka three dots). -- A public self-service
announcement from your Ed.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

COMIC BOOK GUY was butchered by HIGH ELF in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
CLUBBER JACK was viciously butchered by BLACK ORC in a 1 minute Dark Arena battle.
RODENT CLANSMAN was murdered by ARENAMASTER in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
GRUNTLESS was slaughtered by HIGH ELF in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena brawl.
KRYSTA was overpowered by '70 SUPERBIRD in a 1 minute one-sided Bloodfeud fight.
IRON MASK was viciously subdued by NUYEN NICK in a 5 minute Bloodfeud brawl.
HADES' ANGEL slimly won victory over FALSE TEETH in a 2 minute Bloodfeud match.
MCBAIN bested DECIMUS in a action packed 1 minute veteran's Challenge competition.
HARDRADA won victory over DA VINCI in a 2 minute expert's Challenge duel.
THE SMALL CAT overpowered CYRUS IRONFIST in a popular 4 minute uneven Challenge duel.
CONSORTIUM? savagely defeated BARON STONEWALL in a 4 minute veteran's Challenge melee.
THAG was demolished by ANGRENDRAUG in a 2 minute mismatched Challenge competition.
EDWARD GOREY was viciously subdued by KREK in a 2 minute veteran's Challenge battle.
NURM was handily defeated by WONDER WOMAN in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge conflict.
GRANITE vanquished SNAKE EYES in a action packed 1 minute mismatched Challenge bout.
DEANA handily defeated SPONGE BATH in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge bout.
DEXTER devastated '69 DAYTONA in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge brawl.
FERAL CHILD was overpowered by GURG in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge match.
DOMINO beat CHUPACABRON in a 4 minute gory Challenge match.
POWDER HOUND was handily defeated by BIG BROTHER in a 1 minute Challenge competition.
INDIA luckily beat CEDRIC IRONFIST in a exciting 3 minute expert's Challenge fight.
HARM HEELHACKER was handily defeated by ALANNA WYRMCLAW in a 1 minute Challenge duel.
NIGHTBANE viciously subdued LONG NOSE HAIRS in a 7 minute veteran's Challenge bout.
CHROMIAN was vanquished by POWR GORESLINGER in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge match.
POKER FACE won victory over BORNE in a popular 4 minute brutal Challenge fight.
ORC CHOPS vanquished FLOR in a 1 minute uneven Challenge bout.
RAT-LOVING CAT unbelievably bested RUPERT IRONFIST in a 4 minute Challenge bout.
HELL'S HERALD was beaten by FELIX in a 3 minute Challenge competition.
BLACK MARIA vanquished PREPARATION H in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
ENEMY PAWN was assassinated by KESEY in a 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
ROQUE was defeated by GARK in a exciting 1 minute Challenge match.
LUTHERIUS overpowered DUCK DODGERS in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
KIRYK was overpowered by MOOSE DROOL in a 1 minute uneven Challenge bout.
DOMINATRIX demolished BAKDIZBANIAN in a 1 minute uneven Challenge contest.
THE CLAPPER savagely defeated CHRELD in a 1 minute Challenge struggle.
RYAK RAZORSAW was overcome by SUREDRAUG in a 2 minute novice's Challenge fight.
EXILED HERO was outlasted by REFRIGERATOR PERRY in a 7 minute Challenge conflict.
GRATH was subdued by '70 CHEVELLE SS in a 1 minute novice's Challenge duel.
WARG luckily beat MAL FUNCTION in a unpopular 13 minute novice's Challenge duel.
ANVIL IRONFIST subdued BREGDRAUG in a 2 minute expert's Title competition.
'69 CHARGER was beaten by KIRI FACADE in a action packed 1 minute veteran's fight.
BRENDAN BEHAN was vanquished by CHAUCER in a 1 minute one-sided struggle.
HA-THRUST! was handily defeated by JOAN OF ARC in a popular 1 minute mismatched duel.
THE BIG CAT devastated NATTY LIGHT in a 1 minute mismatched match.
IMPORT-EXPORT was overcome by HUNTER in a exciting 2 minute gory veteran's conflict.
DJAIMZ subdued DOWNTOWN BROWN in a 2 minute gruesome fight.
SGT. YORK was luckily beaten by GUTENBERG in a popular 4 minute bloody expert's bout.
E.E. CUMMINGS vanquished DJOHEY DJR. in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided match.
SLIM overpowered WHLOTTA ROSIE in a 1 minute one-sided battle.
LIATH overpowered ANGUS in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
CELEGDRAUG was devastated by BALDSPOT in a 1 minute one-sided conflict.
HO! HA-HA! GUARD! devastated GRON DA CAVEMAN in a 1 minute one-sided battle.
TYRA unbelievably bested SPIN1 in a crowd pleasing 6 minute brutal fight.
'69 MUSTANG BOSS was subdued by GENGHIS TRON in a 1 minute master's contest.
ONYX was overpowered by CRIMSON in a 2 minute uneven bout.
SIMON IRONFIST devastated J.G. BALLARD in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
SATAN'S ECHO bested DAGRDRAUG in a exciting 1 minute master's conflict.
LLUD overpowered MORTE D'AMOUR in a exciting 1 minute bloody uneven fight.
OWSLEY subdued BAD LASS in a popular 2 minute conflict.
AMERAUDUR devastated PERFECT POREMBA in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
DUCK OR ELSE was devastated by CAPTAIN TRIPS in a 1 minute uneven match.
DURG was viciously subdued by GARTH IRONFIST in a popular 3 minute gory bout.
PETRARCH was overpowered by DESIREE in a 1 minute uneven melee.
KARCH was overpowered by SCARRO in a 1 minute one-sided battle.
COOL BREEZE slaughtered GIRD THE STRONG in a 1 minute bloody one-sided fight.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  27         WALL OF STEEL     96 -  77 -  2      55  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                 19         TOTAL PARRY       96 -  78 -  1      55  |
|TOTAL PARRY                     17         LUNGING ATTACK   141 - 118 -  8      54  |
|WALL OF STEEL                   15         STRIKING ATTACK  107 - 103 -  8      51  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                 13         SLASHING ATTACK   64 -  80 -  3      44  |
|AIMED BLOW                      12         AIMED BLOW        61 -  80 -  1      43  |
|BASHING ATTACK                  12         PARRY-LUNGE       36 -  48 -  0      43  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      8         PARRY-RIPOSTE     13 -  19 -  1      41  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         BASHING ATTACK    45 -  66 -  2      41  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         PARRY-STRIKE       5 -  16 -  0      24  |

Turn  26 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

SLASHING ATTACK    9 -  4     TOTAL PARRY        8 -  9         5  LUNGING ATTACK 
STRIKING ATTACK   11 -  8     PARRY-LUNGE        3 -  5         2  WALL OF STEEL  
LUNGING ATTACK    15 - 12     AIMED BLOW         4 -  8         2  SLASHING ATTACK
WALL OF STEEL      8 -  7     BASHING ATTACK     3 -  9         1  STRIKING ATTACK
                              PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  1         1  AIMED BLOW     
                              PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  2     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
WALL OF STEEL    ANVIL IRONFIST 84          22   4  0  129 DRAGONBANE GUILD (13)
STRIKING ATTACK  NUYEN NICK 331             13  10  3  122 FUCHI OWNED (54)
LUNGING ATTACK   THE BIG CAT 75             15  11  0  120 LA PENTARCHIE (11)
AIMED BLOW       THE SMALL CAT 74           16  10  1  102 LA PENTARCHIE (11)
BASHING ATTACK   DECIMUS 97                 17   9  2   93 WARMASTERS (15)
TOTAL PARRY      ANGRENDRAUG 105            17   9  0   92 THE DRAUGS (17)
PARRY-LUNGE      HA-THRUST! 180             13   8  0   84 D2 MIGHTY DUCKS (32)
SLASHING ATTACK  BRENDAN BEHAN 221          15  11  1   79 LITERATE LOONS (40)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    IMPORT-EXPORT 76           14  12  3   66 LA PENTARCHIE (11)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is DA VINCI 166.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was NUYEN NICK 331.  The ten other most popular fighters were RUPERT IRONFIST 301, 
POKER FACE 325, SGT. YORK 61, DA VINCI 166, SPIN1 182, THE SMALL CAT 74, LONG NOSE 
HAIRS 225, GARTH IRONFIST 485, CONSORTIUM? 77, and CEDRIC IRONFIST 303.

The least popular fighter this week was WARG 582.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were REFRIGERATOR PERRY 552, NIGHTBANE 377, GIRD THE STRONG 604, KARCH 584, 
PETRARCH 579, DUCK OR ELSE 542, PERFECT POREMBA 539, J.G. BALLARD 218, TYRA 416, and 
GRON DA CAVEMAN 400.

The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:

ANVIL IRONFIST (81-84) DRAGONBANE GUILD (13)