DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 08/26/2009    Duedate: 09/08/2009

SHADOWSPIRE ARENA

DM-81    TURN-69

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

CLARA
HOUSE OF HEARTS (56)
(81-666) [15-11-0,121]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

CLARA                          POSITION IS EMPTY
HOUSE OF HEARTS (56)           
(81-666) [15-11-0,121]         

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

GERTH                          DIABLOS
CLAN LONGBEARD (39)            SOME KINDA HATE (102)
(81-665) [17-21-1,83]          (81-1156) [2-1-0,9]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

LA PENTARCHIE (11)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. LA PENTARCHIE (11)          47
2. THE MONGOLOIDS II (30)      43      LA PENTARCHIE (11)
3. HOUSE OF HEARTS (56)        35      Unchartered Team
4. RODENT CLAN (37)            32
5. MONSTER MANUAL (87)         28      CAPITAL CARTEL (93)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1*CAPITAL CARTEL (93)       20  10  2 66.7   1/ 5 LA PENTARCHIE (11)       11  4 0
 2- 3*THE COCKTAILS (99)         9   5  0 64.3   2/ 7*SOME KINDA HATE (102)     9  6 3
 3/ 4 LA PENTARCHIE (11)       210 132  7 61.4   3/ 1 DRAGONBANE GUILD (13)     9  6 0
 4/ 2*SOME KINDA HATE (102)      9   6  3 60.0   4/ 3 WHO'S YOUR MAMA (89)      8  6 0
 5/ 5 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (18)     201 144  4 58.3   5/ 2*CAPITAL CARTEL (93)       8  7 1
 6/ 6 DRAGONBANE GUILD (13)    197 147  8 57.3   6/ 6 WARMASTERS (15)           8  7 0
 7- 9*LETHAL FORMULA (98)       14  11  3 56.0   7/17 THE MONGOLOIDS II (30)    8  7 0
 8/ 8 DARQUE AGES (29)         146 115  3 55.9   8/10 MONSTER MANUAL (87)       7  8 2
 9-10*CORPORATE IDIOTS (92)     19  15  0 55.9   9/11 RODENT CLAN (37)          7  8 0
10/ 7 RAGNAROK'S WOLVES (21)    44  35  6 55.7  10/18 CLAN LONGBEARD (39)       7  8 0
11/11 FURRY FURY (25)           87  74  5 54.0  11/19*NEVERQUEST (97)           7  8 0
12-12 THE DRAUGS (17)          131 112  6 53.9  12-12 PHILANTHROPISTS (85)      6  4 0
13/13 RODENT CLAN (37)         151 134  7 53.0  13/16 OF WOLF AND MAN (57)      6  7 0
14/15 THE MONGOLOIDS II (30)   115 110  4 51.1  14/ 4 KELLUMBO'S KIDS (18)      6  9 1
15/14*MERCENARY INC (94)        15  15  1 50.0  15/ 9 RAGNAROK'S WOLVES (21)    6  9 0
16/17 CLAN LONGBEARD (39)      172 173 10 49.9  16- 8*CORPORATE IDIOTS (92)     5  4 0
17/16 WARMASTERS (15)          171 172 18 49.9  17/24 HOUSE OF HEARTS (56)      5  5 0
18-18 PHILANTHROPISTS (85)      47  48  1 49.5  18/13*MERCENARY INC (94)        5  5 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19/19 OF WOLF AND MAN (57)     158 164 10 49.1  19/25 ORCAE ITA (80)            5  7 1
20/22 HOUSE OF HEARTS (56)     108 125  3 46.4  20/15 FURRY FURY (25)           5  7 0
21/21 WHO'S YOUR MAMA (89)      25  29  1 46.3  21/22 LITERATE LOONS (40)       5 10 0
22/23 LITERATE LOONS (40)      154 190  6 44.8  22/23 UNHOLY KNIGHTS (81)       4 11 1
23/24*NEVERQUEST (97)           15  20  1 42.9  23-20*THE COCKTAILS (99)        3  2 0
24/25 UNHOLY KNIGHTS (81)       50  75  3 40.0  24-14*LETHAL FORMULA (98)       3  2 0
25/26 MONSTER MANUAL (87)       30  45  2 40.0  25/21 DARQUE AGES (29)          3  7 0
26/27 ORCAE ITA (80)            42  76  6 35.6  26/26*OTTO'S DINER (96)         3 12 0
27/28 THE RED BLADES (88)       20  44  1 31.3  27/29 THE RED BLADES (88)       2  9 0
28/29*OTTO'S DINER (96)          8  22  0 26.7  28-27 THE DRAUGS (17)           1  0 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

     We interrupt our regularly scheduled program to bring you this special tour and
interview with Roll-Up God #361, courtesy of Larkin, spy reporter for Lirin Kiv [ADM
107].  Larkin?

     "Yes, well, here we are (nervous look over both shoulders) in Roll-Up Central.
#361 has agreed to give us a special, one time only, interview telling us a little
bit about how a Roll-Up is assembled."  (lowered voice)  "Actually, he called me up--
we have this rapid communications device on the Isle, see, I guess so Sheila can bug
us any time she wants, and along about six hours before the time when any NORMAL
person wakes up, it starts shrieking in my ear.  So I curse a lot, and grope around
in the dark, and trip over my cat, and knock the dirty dishes off the table, and
finally I find the damn thing and answer it.  I figure, gee, at this hour--whatever
hour it is--it must be a real emergency.  The arena is on fire, or there's a riot in
the Red Sands (it never closes), or a Sand Dancer has made Champion of the Horn, or
something else pretty dire, right?"  (indignant look)  "Nooooo, it's some <deleted>
wanting to know how much money we made off the carnival.  I say 'What carnival?'  And
this voice--deep, and kinda toneless, like its coming through a rusty trumpet filled
with gravel--says, 'That one the Greywand holds twice a year--what's she call it?
Yeah, a Face-to-Face.  How much is our cut this year?'  Well, *I* didn't know who was
getting cut in on the gate receipts--heck, it coulda been some tough dude from Ini
Palel or something!  So instead of telling him what I thought of being waked up at
that hour to answer a stupid question about something that hasn't even happened yet,
I was polite.  I said, 'Uh, mister, you're talking through your chapeau.  You musta
turned over two pages on your calendar or something.  The <deleted> Face-to-Face
hasn't happened yet, and I was TRYING to get a little sleep--it's three o'clock in
the morning here.'  So then there was this long silence, kinda embarassed, and then
the voice says--I swear this is exactly what it said--'Cattails!  I've got the
calendar for the Skelonian universe.  Sorry, bub, I'll call you back in a month.'  So
I said, 'Hold on a minute, there.'  I'm starting to wake up, see, and I remember I'm
supposed to be some kind of reporter.  'Hold on, there,' I say.  'Who is this?'
Well, I thought for a minute that he wasn't going to answer, but then he says,
'This's 361.'  Now, I don't know any dude by the name of 361, and I figure he's
making a monkey out of me, see?  Maybe it's some kinda joke that Trey the Edge has
put up or something, because he didn't like the way I talked about him in the spy
report.  So I get kinda steamed and I tell him what I think of people who call other
people at weird hours of the morning and ask stupid questions.  And the dude starts
LAUGHING.  Finally he stops wheezing enough to talk again, and he says, 'You mortals
are the dragon's whiskers.  You aren't ever satisfied with anything, you know that,
bub?  Tell you what--' and he pauses and then says real sharp, 'You aren't one of
those arena managers, are you?'  And I say no.  So he says, 'Tell you what, then,
I'll give you an interview, if you can get here by four pip emma.'  He says this like
it's some great treat, see, that I should forgive him kicking my mother in the face
if he gives me the interview.  But it sounds like it might be some kinda arena
business, like a spy reporter should check it out, so I asks him, 'Well, where's here
and how do I get there, and who are you, exactly?'  And he says, kinda impatient, 'I
told you.  I'm 361--ROLL-UP GOD 361.'  At hearing which my ears stand straight up on
my head--and they aren't designed to do that, you know--and I give a kind of jump of
surprise, stepping on my cat's tail and knocking over a lamp.  So I said, 'Great!
It'd be a privelege to interview you, sir!  How do I get there?'  What else could I
say?  And he says, 'You take the arena teleportal, of course.  How else would you get
here?  I'll send you a special pass.'  Well, you know, I just about tossed in the
towel right then.  I don't get along very well with that arena teleportal, and that's
a fact.  But before I can actually tell him I've changed my mind, he adds, 'You can
see just how a Roll-Up is put together... at least, my part.'  Well, this sounds like
the goods, and I figure, teleportal or no teleportal, I better follow up on it.  It
isn't every day, or night, that a spy reporter is offerred an interview with a Roll-
Up God, after all.  And then the communications thingy kinda whines, and sticks its
tongue out at me, and turns out what looked like a tongue is actually a piece of
stiff paper, like a ticket, with all sorts of fancy writing on it that I can't read.
'Just give that to the teleportal operator,' the dude says, 'and he'll get you here.'
So I take a couple of deep breaths and say I'll do it, and the dude signs off.  And
there I am standing in the middle of my apartment with my cat screeching like manager
whose godling Roll-Up has died in the Infirmary and my tablecloth is on fire from
where the lamp fell over and broke, and I've got this ticket in my hand for a visit
to Roll-Up God #361, and all of this at three in the morning.
     "Well, I don't know what it is with me and these arena teleportal gadgets, but
they never seem to work just exactly right when I go to use one.  Now, I've SEEN
other people use 'em, and they just punch the buttons for their destination, and step
through, and Leroy's your uncle.  But me?  No way!  I step into the doorway and
bounce back a couple of times--the most was six times, once--and then I trip over
something invisible in the teleportal doorway--probably Schrodinger's cat--fall
through, land on my head, and I can't remember my name or what I'm doing  there--and
if I hear any cracks from the groundnut gallery, I will personally put itching powder
in Trey the Edge's leather pants--and I grope around and find my brains and stuff
them back into my head and look around and I'm not where I was supposed to be anyway.
This is the absolute armpit of traveling.
     "I went straight from my place (once I'd put the fire out) to the teleportal,
and what with one thing and another, it was just nearly four pip emma when I made it
to Roll-Up God country, wherever that is.  With a teleportal, you never know.  And
there's this big, tough customer at the portal who makes me swear on, uh, well, he
makes me swear, anyway, that I am not a manager, and I'm not in league with a
manager, and on and on--just about puts me to the inquisitorial question, before the
fat hairy type wanders over and tells him it's okay for me to come in.  Turns out
fat-and-hairy is #361.  Well, I took a look at him and I tell you I could actually
feel my spirits hit my bootsoles.  This dude did not look very bright and not very
friendly either, and I could see my exclusive interview headed down the drain.  But
he grabs me by the elbow--I can show you the bruises--and drags me down a hall and
into a big sort of factory place--so big I couldn't see the far end of it, anyway.
Everybody--and there are a lot of dudes, all sizes and shapes, and all wearing these
sort of badges with numbers on them--is rushing around and looking as busy as heck,
and I wonder how come this 361 dude has the time to show me around.
     "So we start at one end of the place, and there's this raised area with a
railing, and a bunch of Roll-Up Gods sitting around a table rattling knuckle bones
and reading a bunch of warrior requisition forms and sneering at this mountain of
gifts and laughing as they work out weird warrior blueprints.  And then they mark up
the requisitions and toss 'em over the railing onto the floor, and the dudes that are
rushing back and forth walk on them and smudge the ink and wrinkle and tear them and
sometimes they pick one up and look at it and just about collapse with laughing.
Well, I like to see people enjoying their work, but this is a revelation, as they
say.  And 361 peeks at one of the papers and roars with laughter and tells me I can
watch this warrior from the very beginning to the finished product.  And he shows me
the paper, which is the specifications for a warrior: 5-15-20-6-6-15-3.  At least, those are the numbers I remember, but I could be wrong.  Math is not my strongest
point.  Anyway, we go down this assembly line that's like a butcher shop in reverse.
These dudes are putting together a big bod with little spindly arms, tinkering with
all sorts of innards that I don't want to know anything about.  Kinda fascinating, in
a horrid sort of way.  I notice that they're attaching two left feet and two left
arms to the guy, and I remember that the spec sheet called for him to be right-
handed, and I mention this to 361.  Well, he laughs and says, 'Deftness of three,
don't forget!  That'll show <name deleted as an act of mercy>!  That <deleted>
actually sent us carob/soy bars when he'd promised us chocolate.  Well, we have ways
of getting even!'  I guess they do!
     "Anyway, 361 took me to his own department--wit installation.  I figured I could
really learn something interesting here, so I watched closely.  The bod came shooting
down this long belt of rollers and stopped in front of 361, and I could see that
there was no top on its head and the skull was empty.  (By the way, these warrior
bods are not anatomically correct; that sort of stuff is added at the last minute,
according to the manager's decision.)  So 361 braced it upright with a couple of
bricks--the head--and popped the lid off a kettle, scooped out some whitish glop, and
filled the skull about half way, then slapped on this steel cap that had some wires
trailing away.  So I said, 'What's that stuff you put in the head?'  And RUG 361
says, 'Cornmeal mush.'  And I give him this look to indicate that a joke's a joke,
but I would really like the answer to this question, and he huffs and starts to swell
up and jerks the lid off the kettle and I look in and it really is cornmeal mush.  So
I blink a couple of times and think about some of the warriors I have met in Lirin
Kiv and it seems to me that cornmeal mush might be just about right.  But to make
sure I am understanding things here, I ask, 'Cornmeal mush makes brains?'  And he
says, 'Nah, that's just the packing.  THIS is where the wit comes from.'  And he
slaps this metal box about the size of a table, which is connected to the steel cap
on the warrior's head by the wires.  He twists a knob to six and pushes a button, and
the box starts to buzz.  'This makes the wit, such as it is--a gladiator doesn't
really need much.'  He gave me this smile like he was saying to himself--this is an
idiot here, but I will explain in words of half a syllable and maybe he will have
some faint grasp of the subject--and he says, 'A wit is like a little lightning bolt
of, hm, I think you Adantri call it hiu.  This machine sends in the wit bolts one at
a time--this warrior will get six, which will give him a wit of six--'  And I moved
closer to take a good look and see if I can figure out what's REALLY happening,
because that 'bolt of wit-hiu' is just nonsense that he's trying to fool me with, and
I trip over something which turns out to be a sort of cat....  So it was two feet
high at the shoulder and had scales--I say it was a cat, and I was the one who was
there.  Anyway, I tripped over this damn cat and fell against the metal box and that
shoved it away from the worktable, and the steel cap pulled off the bod's head (which
was now closed at the top like a head should be) and 361 started cursing and yelling
how the bod had only got half its wit--three--because the charging up process had
been interrupted and it was impossible to reattach the cap so the bod was stuck with
a wit of three and it was all my fault (the cat didn't stick around to share the
blame) and now there would have to be an adjustment to the design--and on and on and
I thought it was time I got out of there, so I did."

     "Thank you, Larkin, for your report on your visit to Roll-Up God headquarters.
Do you have any final message on this subject?"
     "Yeah, be careful you don't wake anybody up too soon, and watch out for cats!
This has been Larkin talkin'."

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

Wee Beastie here and I am your Duelmaster.  I have waited and hoped for this day.
Being Duelmaster will help speed along my graduation and if I hold on to it for 2
more turns I should get my invite.  I have fought several in this arena that are very
good and some that are not very good.  But I am the best of what stands in the arena
today.  I do not see anyone that I think can beat me now at this poing of my career.

St John Kitten, you have beat me in the past with a lucky shot, I will not be so easy
on you next time.

Spirewolf, I don't know what gave Nomad the idea that you could beat me.  You haven't
beat me since I was 3 fights old, heck even Liam O'Flaherty gave me a better fight,
at least he parried once.

Clara -- I have wanted to beat you for some time now only because your number
represents Master and you are not worthy to hold it so I cast my first challenge in
your direction.

Gerth-- We have met in the past to your dismay but since you do hold the third seat
in the arena you will be receiving my ssecond challenge.

As to what to leave in the throne room so that everyone knows that I was the first
Parry Riposte to hold the throne?  I had thought about leaving the soul of the one I
killed to haunt the throne for all times but Master forbids it.  So I will leave
instead a portrait of my self deftly defeating Spirewolf for the throne.

As for the Unholy Knights, I will be the last of the Unholy Knights.  Master has
disconnected Ben from the underworld in hopes of finding another manager that can
give Master more souls.  In our absence Ben will be bringing members of his Pawn of
Prophecy team to Shadowspire and Ben will be changing the name to Pawn of Prophecy
after the next mail in tourney when the name changes are permitted.

Until next turn when I should still be here.

Your Duelmaster,
Wee Beastie

                                      SPY REPORT

     If you were disturbed from your beauty rest only to have to watch a bunch of 
SHADOWSPIRE brutes like you, you'd be grouchy, too.  Later days, DRAGONBANE GUILD, 
since LA PENTARCHIE took top team from you this turn, you guys are old news.  Gee, 
I'm impressed, a 4-1-0 is nice, but don't get cocky, HOUSE OF HEARTS, the Fates teach 
humility, and the Fates are proud.  Of course, we're all terribly impressed to see 
CHIMERA win a fight and gain 24 points, terribly.  Tsk, tsk, BAHBI beat GREGORR and 
GREGORR lost 17 points.  You're breakin' my heart.  WEE BEASTIE challenged CLARA for 
SHADOWSPIRE's Title this turn, and guess what happened?  And it's out with the old, 
in with the new, as CLARA takes the Title and last week's bar tab from the old 
Duelmaster.  Heh, heh.  I'm not in a very good mood today, but why am I telling you 
this?  You want to know what's new, don't you, SHADOWSPIRE?   
     My mother always told me, 'If you don't have anything nice to say, start 
talking.' I loved that woman.  SHADOWSPIRE, I am losing what little hope I had in 
you.  THE MONGOLOIDS II the most avoided team?  What insult will suffice, I cannot 
say.  And who led the way in this mass act of cowardice?  Let's see, well, whatcha 
know?  It was CAPITAL CARTEL.  Ha ha ha ha!  Ooh, I'm frightfully impressed, 
BERSERKER was this turn's most challenged warrior.  Watch that ego swell, sports 
fans.  Looks like time for laurels or hemlock, BILI was challenged by MR ORANGE, who 
was ranked 31 points below him.  But here's a pretty tale--MR ORANGE did lose the 
fight, but gained 3 worth of recognition.  Some long shots can pay off, I guess.  I 
guess I can give a little credit to VIRIDIO of WARMASTERS for challenging up by 23 to 
CHILI SURPRISE.  VIRIDIO lost to get 7 points of recognition.   
     Some people like volunteer work in the hospitals.  I volunteer for SHADOWSPIRE's 
morgue.  More variety.  I could say I saw this coming, but so could anyone else.  
Anyway, this turn it came.  VOLBEAT's 11-10-1 has earned her the Dark Arena.  Bye 
bye, warrior, bye bye...  COFFIN FODDER, a glorious 5-3-2 fighter, has passed away.  
Gee, too bad RAGNAROK'S WOLVES.  Titanium shields and bamboo daggers, guess what 
brave team is developing these kinds of weapons?   
     I was about to buy a new quill pen the other day, but some fighter took it for 
an epee.  Forgive me for writing with a dagger.  Phlllt!  Just had to do that before 
I leave the fine city of SHADOWSPIRE.  I feel much better now.  Glad to see the back 
of this place-- Snide Clemens  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CLARA 666                    15  11  0   121       HOUSE OF HEARTS (56)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 IRON SMITH 997                9   4  0   103       LA PENTARCHIE (11)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ST JOHN KITTEN 840           16   8  1    96       LA PENTARCHIE (11)
 LIBERIUS 824                 14  11  3    96       WARMASTERS (15)
 RAT IN THE HAT 832           16   7  1    95       RODENT CLAN (37)
-ONYB ENGLVAR 903             11   7  0    94       PHILANTHROPISTS (85)
 LORD EXETER 932              11   6  0    92       DRAGONBANE GUILD (13)
 WEE BEASTIE 864              15   6  1    91       UNHOLY KNIGHTS (81)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BAHBI 621                    10  13  1    85       THE MONGOLOIDS II (30)
 ANGEL HEART 644              14  13  0    84       HOUSE OF HEARTS (56)
 GERTH 665                    17  21  1    83       CLAN LONGBEARD (39)
 DUNNIK 900                   12   7  0    81       CLAN LONGBEARD (39)
 PINKY 809                    12  13  3    80       ORCAE ITA (80)
 LIAM O'FLAHERTY 698          19  16  2    75       LITERATE LOONS (40)
 GRACCHUS 825                 13  12  2    75       WARMASTERS (15)
 YEAR OF THE CAT 765          16  12  0    73       LA PENTARCHIE (11)
 HUGH CAPET 690                9  11  2    73       DARQUE AGES (29)
 DAPHNE ROSEN 972              8   3  1    72       WHO'S YOUR MAMA (89)
 BRAIN 812                    11  14  2    71       ORCAE ITA (80)
 SPIREWOLF 768                15  13  2    70       DRAGONBANE GUILD (13)
 ETTIN 1005                    7   4  0    69       MONSTER MANUAL (87)
 THETA 123                    11   5  2    68       RAGNAROK'S WOLVES (21)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ORNERY OCELOT 144            15  20  0    65       FURRY FURY (25)
 GREGORR 865                  11  10  0    63       WARMASTERS (15)
 BILI 622                     12  11  1    58       THE MONGOLOIDS II (30)
 CORRIN 924                   11   6  2    58       CLAN LONGBEARD (39)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 AVERAGE JOE 887              11   9  0    55       LA PENTARCHIE (11)
 KIMBHULEE 1019                8   3  0    55       THE MONGOLOIDS II (30)
 PHILIP K. DICK 848           12  11  0    52       LITERATE LOONS (40)
 CHIMERA 1006                  5   6  1    52       MONSTER MANUAL (87)
 ATTILA KEENBLADE 912          9   9  0    50       DRAGONBANE GUILD (13)
 ARIOCH 996                    8   5  2    50       OF WOLF AND MAN (57)
 CARIEC TOM 984               10   4  1    49       LA PENTARCHIE (11)
 DJEREE THE DJERK 623         12  11  0    47       THE MONGOLOIDS II (30)
 TITUS 1031                    6   4  2    46       WARMASTERS (15)
 MARTIN LUTHER 718             9   8  0    43       DARQUE AGES (29)
 ANSELM 799                    6   4  0    43       DARQUE AGES (29)
 SARAH JAMES 973               6   5  0    42       WHO'S YOUR MAMA (89)
 WIDOW FAERLINA 1061           5   3  0    41       OF WOLF AND MAN (57)
-OFFICE BRWN NOSER 1114        5   0  0    40       CORPORATE IDIOTS (92)
-ELILAD 1055                   6   1  0    39       PHILANTHROPISTS (85)
 FULL MOON SWOON 127          11   5  0    38       RAGNAROK'S WOLVES (21)
 LATRICE 945                   8   8  0    38       KELLUMBO'S KIDS (18)
 ST. GEORGE 902                7  12  2    36       DRAGONBANE GUILD (13)
 HEARTLESS 888                 7   6  0    36       HOUSE OF HEARTS (56)
-BRIARSMILE 944                6   9  1    36       PHILANTHROPISTS (85)
 BLUE MARBLE 1030              8   2  0    35       DRAGONBANE GUILD (13)
-CEO 1040                      4   3  0    35       CORPORATE IDIOTS (92)
 BRICK MOUSE 987              10   4  0    34       RODENT CLAN (37)
 BILEDRIVER 324                6   6  0    34       RAGNAROK'S WOLVES (21)
 BERSERKER 1047                3   5  1    34       MONSTER MANUAL (87)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MYKUL 1018                    7   4  0    33       THE MONGOLOIDS II (30)
 VOLAX STEELBORN 1100          4   3  0    33       NEVERQUEST (97)
 ROBO 1158                     3   0  2    33       SOME KINDA HATE (102)
 SERAFIN GAWAIN 1117           3   3  0    32       THE RED BLADES (88)
-HR 1039                       5   2  0    31       CORPORATE IDIOTS (92)
 W.S. GILBERT 995              5   8  2    30       LITERATE LOONS (40)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CHILI SURPRISE 1085           4   2  0    30       OTTO'S DINER (96)
 MR ORANGE 1065                5   1  0    27       MERCENARY INC (94)
 DYLAN RYDER 974               4   7  0    27       WHO'S YOUR MAMA (89)
 FLOP SHOT 1059                3   3  1    27       CAPITAL CARTEL (93)
 EFREETI 957                   5  10  0    25       MONSTER MANUAL (87)
 FIMNAR 1053                   5   4  0    24       CLAN LONGBEARD (39)
-SUPVSR 1083                   3   3  0    24       CORPORATE IDIOTS (92)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-LIGDISH BANG 983              5   8  0    23       PHILANTHROPISTS (85)
 SINISTER SNOOPY 1069          5   3  0    23       FURRY FURY (25)
 FIPPY DARKPAW 1099            4   3  0    23       NEVERQUEST (97)
 SHY SKUNK 1133                3   2  0    22       FURRY FURY (25)
-TOM COLLINS 1111              3   0  0    22       THE COCKTAILS (99)
 MR. GREEN 1118                4   1  0    21       MERCENARY INC (94)
 LOW AND AWAY 1060             5   1  0    20       CAPITAL CARTEL (93)
 XORN 1015                     5   5  0    20       MONSTER MANUAL (87)
 JRS 1016                      3   7  0    20       WHO'S YOUR MAMA (89)
-OLD SEBSISS 1105              3   2  0    18       LETHAL FORMULA (98)
 MR BLUE 1064                  2   4  0    18       MERCENARY INC (94)
 BLUE PLATE 1176               1   0  0    18       OTTO'S DINER (96)
 LIMP IN 1057                  5   1  0    16       CAPITAL CARTEL (93)
-NYDERAWYN 1046                4   4  0    16       PHILANTHROPISTS (85)
 MR PINK 1062                  3   3  1    16       MERCENARY INC (94)
 POTTY MOUTH 1038              3   7  0    16       ORCAE ITA (80)
-GHENDAL 1103                  3   2  0    16       LETHAL FORMULA (98)
-NOCTRYN 1104                  3   2  2    15       LETHAL FORMULA (98)
 HOLLY WINDSTALKER 1164        1   1  0    15       NEVERQUEST (97)
 BOOK MARK 1058                4   2  0    14       CAPITAL CARTEL (93)
 EVELYN WAUGH 1070             3   5  0    14       LITERATE LOONS (40)
 BRAIN EATER 1161              2   0  0    14       SOME KINDA HATE (102)
 HEAD BAND 1056                3   3  1    13       CAPITAL CARTEL (93)
 GORBY BUGMUNCHER 1097         3   4  0    13       NEVERQUEST (97)
 STRAY MONGREL 1170            1   0  0    13       RAGNAROK'S WOLVES (21)
 CRINGER 1073                  2   6  0    12       ORCAE ITA (80)
 SMILEY 1174                   1   0  0    12       HOUSE OF HEARTS (56)
 CHEREK 1172                   1   0  1    11       UNHOLY KNIGHTS (81)
 COLT STEELE 1181              1   0  0    11       OF WOLF AND MAN (57)
 SQUIRRELWIND 1177             1   0  0    11       RODENT CLAN (37)
 GUTBUSTER 1088                2   4  0    10       OTTO'S DINER (96)
 HIROSUKE 1157                 1   2  0    10       SOME KINDA HATE (102)
 DIABLOS 1156                  2   1  0     9       SOME KINDA HATE (102)
 NATHANAEL WEST 1141           1   3  0     9       LITERATE LOONS (40)
 AVERROES 853                  2   2  0     8       DARQUE AGES (29)
 GROBBULUS 1140                2   2  0     8       OF WOLF AND MAN (57)
-KAMIKAZE 1113                 2   1  0     8       THE COCKTAILS (99)
 HOOLIGAN 1017                 1   3  0     8       HOUSE OF HEARTS (56)
-GIMLET 1109                   2   1  0     7       THE COCKTAILS (99)
 MADDENED MEERKAT 1134         1   4  0     7       FURRY FURY (25)
 VIRIDIO 1145                  1   3  0     7       WARMASTERS (15)
 GORSHOK 1159                  1   2  1     6       SOME KINDA HATE (102)
 MR. PURPLE 1137               1   3  0     6       MERCENARY INC (94)
-CRYSTALLINE 1143              1   1  0     4       LETHAL FORMULA (98)
 D'VINN 1165                   1   1  0     4       NEVERQUEST (97)
 FLO 1149                      0   3  0     3       OTTO'S DINER (96)
-SAZERAC 1146                  0   1  0     1       THE COCKTAILS (99)
 POUNDHOG DAY 1179             0   1  0     1       RODENT CLAN (37)
 DRAS 1173                     0   1  0     1       UNHOLY KNIGHTS (81)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
SHREDDER 1077           2  2 0 BLACK TIDE 95        HEAD BAND 1056         65  NOT REVENGED

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
GOLEM DUNG 1175         0  1 0 CLAN LONGBEARD 39    DARK CHAMPION          69  NONE
PARSEK 1167             0  1 0 CLAN LONGBEARD 39    ROBO 1158              68   
URRIM 901               9  8 0 CLAN LONGBEARD 39    BRAIN 812              67  REVENGED
AQUINAS 1029            0  1 0 DARQUE AGES 29       MR PINK 1062           66   
DANTE 1153              0  2 0 DARQUE AGES 29       DARK CHAMPION          69  NONE
MELISSA JOAN 730       10  9 0 HOUSE OF HEARTS 56   THETA 123              66  REVENGED
FRENCHIE 1168           0  1 0 KELLUMBO'S KIDS 18   STONE GOLEM            69  NONE
MISS BUNNY 992          6  3 0 KELLUMBO'S KIDS 18   CORRIN 924             65  REVENGED
THE TROOPER 1142        2  2 0 KELLUMBO'S KIDS 18   BERSERKER 1047         69   
TROLL BAIT 1169         0  1 0 KELLUMBO'S KIDS 18   WURM KIN               69  NONE
VOLBEAT 860            11 11 1 KELLUMBO'S KIDS 18   WURM KIN               69  NONE
KYZERSOSAE 1106         2  1 1 LETHAL FORMULA 98    SPIKE 1075             65  NONE
ZULLIE 1102             2  1 0 LETHAL FORMULA 98    TITUS 1031             65  NOT REVENGED
H.P. LOVECRAFT 692     10 22 0 LITERATE LOONS 40    GRACCHUS 825           65  REVENGED
BUCK RAMBONE 1180       0  1 0 OF WOLF AND MAN 57   CHEREK 1172            69   
GOTHIK 1089             1  2 0 OF WOLF AND MAN 57   DREAD PIRATE 1050      65  REVENGED
GOTHIK 1163             0  1 0 OF WOLF AND MAN 57   FLOP SHOT 1059         68   
ONION THING 1087        1  5 0 OTTO'S DINER 96      BANDIT PRINCE          69  NONE
COFFIN FODDER 420       5  4 2 RAGNAROK'S WOLVES 21 ROBO 1158              69   
SQUIRRELPOOL 1178       0  1 0 RODENT CLAN 37       HIGH ELF               69  NONE
HAIRY VIRGIN 1110       2  1 0 THE COCKTAILS 99     GORSHOK 1159           67   
YORSH 1112              0  1 0 THE COCKTAILS 99     NOCTRYN 1104           65  NOT REVENGED
DREAD PIRATE 1050       2  4 1 UNHOLY KNIGHTS 81    ARIOCH 996             66  REVENGED
EVIL STEPMOTHER 1150    0  3 0 UNHOLY KNIGHTS 81    ARENAMASTER            69  NONE
THULL 1171              0  1 0 UNHOLY KNIGHTS 81    SHEWISH GIANT          69  NONE
VELICITY VON 970        4  6 0 WHO'S YOUR MAMA 89   CHIMERA 1006           68   

                                     PERSONAL ADS

SYP Editor -- NICE job!  Very nice job.  Thanks. -- Agent and The Capital Cartel

Detective Kellumbo -- DAing those fine warriors?  Sheesh.  I wish you had given me a
chance to put them under contract. -- Agent

Iron Smith -- Compete for the 500?  We may not live that long.  The only thing we
might compete for is that Smith name.  (wink) -- Agent and The Capital Cartel

Holly Windstalker -- You can get a lot of practice on line, you know.  Try Full Tilt
Poker dot com.  (wink) -- Limp In

Gothik and The Wolfman Gang and Tripwire -- I killed someone?  I am both surprised
and disgusted.  Sorry, I did not mean to.  I suppose I should have chipped. -- Flop
Shot

Nathaniel West -- I tried to make you more literate, but I guess I just threw too
many curve balls... -- Low And Away

Berserker -- I wasn't in that one at all, was I?  Salute.  I will wear a cap next
time. -- Head Band

All -- I got to be This Week's Favorite by getting beat up by the Office Brown Noser?
What is this world coming to? -- Book Mark

     You'd rather not know.  Trust me on this.

Vanek -- At least Two people are not glad to see that I'm finally here, but thanks
for the warm welcome. -- Mordraith Mgr. Some Kinda Hate

     Show up in other arenas, get more welcomes.

Coffin Fodder -- I thought I would see if you lived up to your name, though I really
didn't expect that challenge to go through.  A certain Guild appears to still be in
mourning. -- Gorshok

Onion Thing -- I think your manager should shut down the diner and come back with a
new business venture... -- Diabolos

Gladiatorial Commission -- Just noticed that my name is listed incorrectly on the
arena listings.  We never should have let Dr. Chud fill in the teams Paper work! --
Diabolos

     That, I can't help with.  I presume you've contacted the Commission directly?

Serafin Gawain -- Yawn! -- Hirosuke

Clan Longbeard -- The GC must really hate you, Parsek never had a chance...  I
eagerly await your bloodfued. -- Robo

Wee Beastie -- Congratulations on the throne.  Well earned.  I shall not try that
again. -- Spirewolf

Gentleben -- Now, wasn't part of the deal with that "rookies competition" that you
needed to keep the Pink one on the roster?  Just checkin'. -- Spirewolf, who doesn't
like seeing bashers getting sent to the Dark Arena

W.S. Gilbert -- "Luckily beat."  Yeah, my fight lines always say that.  But they also
usually say I won.  And that is the key.  Who is still standing at the end is all
that matters. -- Blue Marble

Pinky -- A nice little random matchup. -- Lord Exeter

Daphne Rosen -- Well, isn't that just the way it always goes?  Every time I try an
experiment on something, I get the wrong matchup.  I need to start picking up some
wins.  Slaying Dragons was much easier. -- St. George

Briarsmile -- Phew, that was close.  Still trying to find my rhythm. -- Arioch

     Maybe you were born to syncopated gaited?

Elilad -- Nice one!  Thought I had ya there, you're a slippery one. -- Widow Faerlina

Maddened Meerkat -- There was some serious parrying going on in that one.  Good thing
I can go a while. -- Grobbulus

Flop Shot -- Ooooo!  One of my better warriors that I have had yet!  Gonna send
Grobbulus first and see how he does. -- Tripwire

Finally!  A good warrior!  9-10-10-17-15-10-13 ST, Ambi!  Normal End, Great Damage!
(1% chance at great).  Aaaaand he dies turn 1.  Story of my life here in Shadowspire.
-- Tripwire

Hum... I'm afraid my destiny is going to be second to the Consortium.  Well, they are
many, and I'm alone, so I shouldn't feel too depressed. -- Le Pentarque

Congrats to Wee Beastie!  I had to challenge, but I don't really want the throne...
-- St John Kitten

This had been a nice turn, but the end-of-holidays-opening-of-envelopes had been
getting a little bit annoying with all the repeat DCs on my few adm guys in
Talahya...  DK, I don't see the point of hitting a team on maintenance.  In Dm 100, I
enjoy reading the fights without checking the nl, and I can't nor want to fight back.
That lost race was so depressing??!  You can't stand losing?  The idea is to drive me
out of Talahya?  Kinda easy, just send me a mp, and I'll keep my money.

Well... the first few turns, I found it amusing, and didn't want to notice, but now
it's getting a little ridiculous.  Why don't you try to clobber the Consortium in
Aruak?  THAT would be an interesting challenge. -- Le Pentarque

Spirewolf -- I think Nomad ought to change your name to ExSpiredwolf. -- Wee Beastie

RUGS -- I have surrendered 6 in the last 2 turns please allow the good RUs to find
their way into my stable.  If you don't know what a good RU looks like just call me
when it comes time for selection criteria.  Interviews are being held all week. --
Gentleben

     We got contracts of our own to fill, you know.  Quotas.  All that stuff. --
     RUG #5734

All Those That Haven't Been Fighting -- I hope you decide to return soon; we need
more blood. -- Unholy Knights (soon to be Pawn of Prophecy)

Wee Beastie -- Congratulations on taking the throne and being the first Parry-Riposte
Duelmaster in Shadowspire history! -- Vanek, Manager of Warmasters

26 August 09
     There has been a run lately of personals and columns turning up in the wrong
     arenas.  When you email in something, check and make sure you have the correct
     arena number!  It's easy for a finger to slip onto the wrong key.  When the
     receipt comes back, check again to be sure it went where you intended!
     Vigilance is your friend, and mine too. -- the Editor

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

VOLBEAT was butchered by WURM KIN in a crowd pleasing 2 minute Dark Arena fight.
ONION THING was murdered by BANDIT PRINCE in a 1 minute brutal Dark Arena melee.
EVIL STEPMOTHER was assassinated by ARENAMASTER in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena duel.
DANTE was dealt death by DARK CHAMPION in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
GOLEM DUNG was assassinated by DARK CHAMPION in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena match.
TROLL BAIT was butchered by WURM KIN in a 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
THULL was savagely slain by SHEWISH GIANT in a exciting 1 minute Dark Arena struggle.
SQUIRRELPOOL was put to death by HIGH ELF in a 3 minute gruesome Dark Arena fight.
FRENCHIE was dispatched by STONE GOLEM in a 2 minute gruesome Dark Arena duel.
LATRICE was viciously subdued by CORRIN in a action packed 1 minute Bloodfeud fight.
GROBBULUS was overpowered by FLOP SHOT in a 3 minute one-sided Bloodfeud fight.
WEE BEASTIE was overpowered by CLARA in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge Title match.
LIBERIUS bested ANGEL HEART in a exciting 1 minute master's Challenge conflict.
DUNNIK subdued SPIREWOLF in a 1 minute Challenge brawl.
RAT IN THE HAT beat GERTH in a popular 2 minute gruesome master's Challenge conflict.
GRACCHUS overpowered ORNERY OCELOT in a 1 minute uneven Challenge struggle.
BAHBI handily defeated GREGORR in a crowd pleasing 1 minute mismatched Challenge bout.
YEAR OF THE CAT devastated PHILIP K. DICK in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
ATTILA KEENBLADE was demolished by BRAIN in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
TITUS was overpowered by ETTIN in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
ARIOCH bested SARAH JAMES in a popular 2 minute Challenge contest.
KIMBHULEE overpowered BRICK MOUSE in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
BLUE MARBLE beat DYLAN RYDER in a 2 minute Challenge fray.
HEARTLESS won victory over LOW AND AWAY in a crowd pleasing 2 minute Challenge fray.
WIDOW FAERLINA demolished EFREETI in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
FIPPY DARKPAW lost to BILEDRIVER in a 2 minute Challenge match.
MR ORANGE was savagely defeated by BILI in a popular 2 minute gory Challenge duel.
FIMNAR subdued POTTY MOUTH in a 3 minute brutal Challenge melee.
MR BLUE viciously subdued GORBY BUGMUNCHER in a popular 1 minute Challenge fray.
MYKUL overpowered XORN in a exciting 3 minute gory uneven Challenge competition.
HEAD BAND was defeated by JRS in a 2 minute Challenge duel.
MR. PURPLE was outwaited by SINISTER SNOOPY in a tiresome 9 minute Challenge fight.
BRAIN EATER outlasted EVELYN WAUGH in a tiresome 14 minute Challenge fight.
THE TROOPER was narrowly killed by BERSERKER in a 1 minute Challenge bout.
HOLLY WINDSTALKER demolished MADDENED MEERKAT in a 1 minute uneven Challenge contest.
HIROSUKE was defeated by SHY SKUNK in a exciting 1 minute novice's Challenge struggle.
VIRIDIO was viciously subdued by CHILI SURPRISE in a 2 minute gruesome Challenge bout.
ROBO assassinated COFFIN FODDER in a 1 minute bloody one-sided Challenge match.
FLO was subdued by NATHANAEL WEST in a 2 minute novice's Challenge duel.
ST JOHN KITTEN beat HUGH CAPET in a 2 minute duel.
IRON SMITH overpowered THETA in a 1 minute one-sided competition.
LORD EXETER handily defeated VENEMOUS CONCUBINE in a popular 1 minute one-sided duel.
LIAM O'FLAHERTY was demolished by PINKY in a 1 minute uneven duel.
DAPHNE ROSEN devastated ANSELM in a 1 minute mismatched match.
CARIEC TOM viciously subdued FULL MOON SWOON in a popular 2 minute bloody conflict.
ST. GEORGE was overpowered by AVERAGE JOE in a 1 minute uneven competition.
DJEREE THE DJERK was handily defeated by CHIMERA in a 2 minute one-sided match.
BOOK MARK was overpowered by SERAFIN GAWAIN in a 1 minute one-sided battle.
LIMP IN was vanquished by MARTIN LUTHER in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
MR. GREEN was viciously subdued by VOLAX STEELBORN in a unpopular 6 minute bout.
GUTBUSTER was demolished by W.S. GILBERT in a 1 minute mismatched match.
CRINGER was beaten by MR PINK in a 3 minute brutal battle.
DIABLOS was luckily beaten by BLUE PLATE in a crowd pleasing 9 minute amateur's bout.
GORSHOK was overcome by SMILEY in a 1 minute amateur's match.
HOOLIGAN subdued POUNDHOG DAY in a 1 minute amateur's battle.
D'VINN was defeated by SQUIRRELWIND in a 1 minute novice's brawl.
AVERROES was subdued by STRAY MONGREL in a popular 2 minute amateur's contest.
DRAS was overpowered by COLT STEELE in a 1 minute mismatched duel.
CHEREK assassinated BUCK RAMBONE in a 1 minute mismatched fight.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|STRIKING ATTACK                 25         TOTAL PARRY      110 -  78 -  1      59  |
|TOTAL PARRY                     18         STRIKING ATTACK  149 - 125 - 10      54  |
|BASHING ATTACK                  17         AIMED BLOW        70 -  61 -  3      53  |
|AIMED BLOW                      10         WALL OF STEEL     47 -  47 -  5      50  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    9         PARRY-LUNGE       27 -  29 -  0      48  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    9         LUNGING ATTACK    64 -  88 -  6      42  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   7         SLASHING ATTACK   34 -  48 -  2      41  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      6         BASHING ATTACK    78 - 111 -  7      41  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  5         PARRY-RIPOSTE     43 -  67 -  5      39  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     2         PARRY-STRIKE      13 -  30 -  0      30  |

Turn  69 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

AIMED BLOW         8 -  2     LUNGING ATTACK     3 -  4         4  STRIKING ATTACK
WALL OF STEEL      6 -  3     SLASHING ATTACK    2 -  3         2  PARRY-LUNGE    
STRIKING ATTACK   14 - 11     BASHING ATTACK     6 - 11         2  AIMED BLOW     
                              PARRY-LUNGE        2 -  4         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
                              PARRY-RIPOSTE      3 -  6         1  PARRY-RIPOSTE  
                              TOTAL PARRY        6 - 12     
                              PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  2     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
PARRY-LUNGE      CLARA 666                  15  11  0  121 HOUSE OF HEARTS (56)
STRIKING ATTACK  IRON SMITH 997              9   4  0  103 LA PENTARCHIE (11)
AIMED BLOW       ST JOHN KITTEN 840         16   8  1   96 LA PENTARCHIE (11)
LUNGING ATTACK   LIBERIUS 824               14  11  3   96 WARMASTERS (15)

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
PARRY-RIPOSTE    WEE BEASTIE 864            15   6  1   91 UNHOLY KNIGHTS (81)
BASHING ATTACK   LIAM O'FLAHERTY 698        19  16  2   75 LITERATE LOONS (40)
WALL OF STEEL    GRACCHUS 825               13  12  2   75 WARMASTERS (15)
SLASHING ATTACK  AVERAGE JOE 887            11   9  0   55 LA PENTARCHIE (11)
TOTAL PARRY      PHILIP K. DICK 848         12  11  0   52 LITERATE LOONS (40)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is GERTH 665.  The most popular warrior this turn was 
DIABLOS 1156.  The ten other most popular fighters were BILI 622, MYKUL 1018, SARAH 
JAMES 973, AVERROES 853, CORRIN 924, FLOP SHOT 1059, RAT IN THE HAT 832, HEARTLESS 
888, CARIEC TOM 984, and JRS 1016.

The least popular fighter this week was BRAIN EATER 1161.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were EVELYN WAUGH 1070, SINISTER SNOOPY 1069, MR. GREEN 1118, MR. 
PURPLE 1137, BUCK RAMBONE 1180, DRAS 1173, D'VINN 1165, POUNDHOG DAY 1179, BLUE PLATE 
1176, and GUTBUSTER 1088.