DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 11/12/2014    Duedate: 11/25/2014

SHADOWSPIRE ARENA

DM-81    TURN-205

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

VILMAR
CLAN LONGBEARD (39)
(81-2105) [21-9-1,120]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

VILMAR                         POSITION IS EMPTY
CLAN LONGBEARD (39)            
(81-2105) [21-9-1,120]         

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

APYKO                          GUNNER
ANTHROPOS KRATOS (147)         DE'JA KREW (153)
(81-2136) [13-12-0,70]         (81-2249) [3-7-0,27]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

CLAN LONGBEARD (39)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. SOME KINDA HATE (102)       33
2. BIG LAKE OUTCASTS (19)      30      LA PENTARCHIE (11)
3. LITERATE LOONS (40)         29      Unchartered Team
4. OTTO'S DINER (96)           29
5. WAR MACHINE (26)            27       (-1)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 LA PENTARCHIE (11)       580 427 21 57.6   1/ 2 CLAN LONGBEARD (39)      10  5 0
 2/ 2 CULT OF BACCHUS (4)      349 273 11 56.1   2/ 8 LA PENTARCHIE (11)        9  5 0
 3/ 3 WICKED MARTYRS (148)      67  57  4 54.0   3/ 7 WAR MACHINE (26)          9  6 2
 4/ 4 SOME KINDA HATE (102)    114  99 10 53.5   4/ 1 MONSTER MANUAL (87)       9  6 0
 5/ 5 DRAGONBANE GUILD (13)    544 473 15 53.5   5/12 ABOMINATION (146)         8  7 0
 6/ 6 OTTO'S DINER (96)        368 342 16 51.8   6/ 5 ANTHROPOS KRATOS (147)    7  5 0
 7/ 7 CLAN LONGBEARD (39)      523 496 20 51.3   7/ 6 WARMASTERS (15)           7  8 1
 8/ 8 WARMASTERS (15)          512 493 36 50.9   8/ 3 WICKED MARTYRS (148)      7  8 1
 9/ 9 FURRY FURY (25)          336 349 20 49.1   9/16 BIG LAKE OUTCASTS (19)    7  8 0
10/10 THE COMMODORES (150)      43  47  0 47.8  10/14 SOME KINDA HATE (102)     7  8 0
11/11 LITERATE LOONS (40)      427 491 18 46.5  11/10 LITERATE LOONS (40)       6  0 0
12/12 MONSTER MANUAL (87)      326 408 13 44.4  12/ 9 SEARCH THE SKY (136)      6  9 1
13-13 CLUB CUTTHROAT (12)       33  42  1 44.0  13/15 DE'JA KREW (153)          6  9 1
14/14 ABOMINATION (146)         54  69  6 43.9  14/ 4 DRAGONBANE GUILD (13)     6  9 0
15/15 ANTHROPOS KRATOS (147)    50  68  2 42.4  15/19 FURRY FURY (25)           5  5 0
16/16 BIG LAKE OUTCASTS (19)   218 313 16 41.1  16/13 THE COMMODORES (150)      5 10 0
17/17 SEARCH THE SKY (136)      76 118  3 39.2  17/11 CULT OF BACCHUS (4)       4  9 1
18/19 WAR MACHINE (26)          61 102  8 37.4  18/18 OTTO'S DINER (96)         4 11 1

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19/18 DE'JA KREW (153)          18  32  2 36.0  19/20 INEBRIATION (27)          2 10 0
20/20 INEBRIATION (27)          30  62  3 32.6  20-17 CLUB CUTTHROAT (12)       0  5 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

                               The Red Tape Disorder

     Sitting in his well-padded desk chair, Havoc rolled his eyes toward the dusty
rafters and wheezed a moist sigh.  He scratched his grizzled hair and shook his head.
     "Damn paperwork!" he croaked.
     There were five uneven piles of unraveled scrolls spread out across the wide
desktop.  A pair of thick folders, crammed with odd notes scribbled on scraps of
parchment, lay stolidly in the middle of the mess, mingled with assorted quills, pots
of various inks, seals, stamps, and wax tapers.  Two large, hooded oil lamps,
suspended by brass chains, threw a warm, bright cone of light that overlay the top of
the desk.
     Havoc, idly leaning back in the chair with his head tilted against the plush
stuffing, stared at the lamps flicker for a few moments.  Suddenly, he threw himself
forward and coughed spasmodically.  After 30 seconds of coughing and wheezing Havoc
managed to bring up a mouthful of phlegm and saliva, which he promptly spit into a
small ceramic urn sitting on the polished floor near his feet.
     "That's disgusting!" declared a voice from a dark corner behind him.
     "Whaa??" Caught by surprise, Havoc half fell out of his chair as he tried to
swivel around in one quick movement.  He banged his knee against the edge of a half-
open drawer and cursed vehemently, which initiated another violent bout of coughing.
     "If you were better organized," sighed Arcane as he stepped out of the shadows,
"this wouldn't be such an ordeal."
     Havoc's face twisted into a dark scowl as he panted for several moments with a
deep, sonorous sound.  After that, he coughed forcefully, then spit into the urn
again and wiped his mouth with his sleeve.  He breathed in a loud, wheezy fashion and
glared at the Kid with bloodshot eyes.
     Arcane offered a small smile, and then moved with that annoying, fluid gait of
his to one of the wide armchairs facing the desk.  He sat and turned his attention to
the desktop.  Neither of the two managers said a word.  Both, as if by some
mysterious and silent concession, dropped their eyes to the many uneven piles of
papyrus and paper.  After a minute had gone by, the Kid cleared his throat and turned
in his chair to face Havoc.  His upper torso was just outside the circle of light,
which made his glowing eyes all the brighter.
     "That's a nasty cold you've got there."
     "No kiddin'!" Havoc retorted in a gravelly voice.
     "Then why aren't you in bed?"  The Kid held up both hands in a gesture of
quizzical surrender.  "Aren't you supposed to try to get more sleep while your body
fights this sort of infection?"
     "Like YOU care!" rasped Havoc.
     "Well -" Arcane shrugged and tilted his face, scrutinizing Havoc's expression.
"You're no good to the team if you can barely breathe."
     After a few moments of staring into each other's eyes, Havoc chuckled
humorlessly with a rough, wet sound and coughed up some more phlegm.  He spit into
the urn again.
     "Yeah, well, I'd like to lie in bed for a few days, but there's just too much --
-" Another fit of coughing interrupted him.  When he had finished spitting, he sighed
and sat back for a moment.  The Kid watched, but said nothing.  Havoc made a half-
hearted sneer, then began sorting through the papers on his desk.  From somewhere in
the midst of the chaos he pulled out a stout wooden mug.  As he raised it to his lips
he paused and frowned.  Havoc shook it gently and peered inside with an air of
cautious distrust.
     "Damn!" he grimaced.  "No coffee!"
     "Here," Arcane held out a slender hand.  A small glass vial, half filled with a
sparkling pink fluid, lay in his palm.  "Try this.  It's not a cure, but it'll help
your body deal with the symptoms."
     Havoc's forehead etched deep lines above his narrowed eyes as he dropped the mug
onto the table and studied the glittery tube.  After a few heartbeats he put out his
scarred hand and plucked the vial from the Kid's palm.
     "I guess I'm just that desperate," he whispered hoarsely to himself as he
twisted the stopper from the tube.  He held it up to the lamplight for an instant,
the tossed the contents down his throat and swallowed.  This initiated another fierce
paroxysm of coughing and spitting.
     The Arcane Kid folded his arms across his chest and watched Havoc with careful
scrutiny.  His glowing eyes betrayed nothing.
     "That stuff tastes nasty!" wheezed Havoc.
     "It'll help; believe me.  You'll soon breath easier, which will help you sleep
easier, which will, I hope, help you recover faster."
     "Yeah.  Sure." Havoc smacked his chapped lips together a few times and ran his
tongue around his mouth a few times with an expression of disgust.  "Thanks, I
guess."
     "Well, sure." Arcane pointed his narrow chin at the paperwork spread out across
the desk.  "Incidentally - you DO remember that those forms are due to the
Gladiatorial Commission by the next week's matches, or Search the Sky is prohibited
from participating."
     Havoc grimaced and shook his head.
     "Well, those forms won't fill themselves out," remarked the Kid.
     "They're just a waste of time," croaked Havoc.  He slapped the desk to add
emphasis.  "All of sudden we gotta show how we're givin' the slow learners some sorta
special help??"
     "Oh, that's just a formality." Arcane waved a hand in the air.  "Some complaints
were made to the Commission, so of course the local administration is trying to
squelch any rumors of unfair play."
     "Unfair?!"  Havoc wheezed loudly for a few moments; his barrel chest rose and
fell with the effort as he struggled to hold his temper back.  "That's crazy! Most of
the new recruits we're seein' are as dumb as a box o' rocks!"
     "What's your point?"
     "I don't think all this paperwork is goin' to make a difference in the quality
of recruits we're gonna get, do you?"
     The Kid shrugged and rose from his chair.  "Who can say? All I know is that YOU
wanted to have more decision-making power, and that means that YOU have to do at
least half of the paperwork."
     "Yeah, but -"
     "But nothing," snapped Arcane.
     Havoc noticed that the Kid's eyes grew brighter and he seemed to stand a little
taller, but it might have just been the medicine.  He felt his body sag with fatigue
as the Kid rambled on.
     "Most of being a manager has nothing to do with watching the men fight.  You
know this! For every minute a fighter is on the sands a good manager spends at least
an hour poring over statistics, weapon charts, rhythm tables, past fights, etcetera!"
     "Maybe," rumbled Havoc, "but that don't mean I gotta be the one to do it!"
     "If the men are going to fight in this next round, then yes, it has to be you."
A purple, shimmering light wrapped itself around the Kid, blasting the shadows out of
the room.  "I've got more than enough paperwork of my own to attend to aboard the
Outworlder!"
     With a small, smug smile and a brief, piercing screech the Arcane Kid melted
into nothingness.  The room swelled with shadows as Havoc blinked away bright globes
of purple light that swam before his eyes.
     "I hate it when he does that."
     Havoc stared at the desktop for several minutes.  His eyes roamed from one tall
pile of parchment to the next.  Coming to a decision, he rose unsteadily and began to
stagger away.
     "First a bath, and then maybe a nap," he whispered hoarsely to himself.  He
caught his thigh on a corner of the desk, knocking over a couple of piles of paper
and causing him to pause as the pain lanced through his leg.
     "#@#$#!!  I hate bein' sick!" Havoc wheezed, limping away.

                                      SPY REPORT

     Good day, friends and fiends, welcome to your friendly neighborhood spyreport.  
I doubt SHADOWSPIRE will ever be the same.  It seems the training can make the 
difference, as MONSTER MANUAL is pushed out of top team by CLAN LONGBEARD, who came 
from 2nd with a 3-2-0 this turn.  ABOMINATION stable has parlayed this turn's 3-2-0 
into a 7 space move up the rankings.  This brings them up to 5th place.  Good work, 
guys!  The FURRY FURY guild has had a 4-1-0 turn and deserves to be watched in the 
future.  You never know where this kind of thing can lead.  And let's see, DIRE 
PATIENCE fought MARBARITA and gained 20 points and contributed to BIG LAKE OUTCASTS' 
3-2-0.  DIRTY WHITE MOTHER has lost to RING LARDNER, falling 16 points, while helping 
make WICKED MARTYRS a 2-3-0 turn.  AXEL VON SPIRE challenged for the Duelmastership 
this turn, attempting to dethrone LITERATE LOONS' warrior.  Defending hers title for 
another turn, GERTRUDE STEIN kept DRAGONBANE GUILD's warrior, AXEL VON SPIRE, from 
claiming the throne.  Can someone confirm a rumor for me?  I hear the top team makes 
their losing fighters do dishes at The Warty Toad until they win.  Maybe?   
     I tell you, a green quarterstaff lasts longer than a seasoned sapling.  A basher 
friend of mine assures me this is true.  BIG LAKE OUTCASTS has cause to stand tall, 
as they were SHADOWSPIRE's most avoided team.  A smart manager knows this is a team 
to beat.  And guess who avoided BIG LAKE OUTCASTS stable the most?  Believe it or 
not, it was DRAGONBANE GUILD.  Anyone surprised?  The most challenged warrior this 
turn was SEARCH THE SKY's warrior MONOCEROS.  More fighters challenged him than 
challenged the Duelmaster!  Building dreams on hope, BLINK DOG challenged up 26 
points this turn to take on BEAR NAKED from FURRY FURY stable.  And though BLINK DOG 
lost to BEAR NAKED, the valiant attempt earned him 4 worth of recognition.  
Foolhardiness can sometimes pay.  TRIPLE SEC from INEBRIATION took a risk this turn 
by bravely challenging up 29 points in a challenge against DAVE LEBEIS.  Even though 
TRIPLE SEC lost the fight, it at least came away with a gain of 5 points for 
challenging on of BIG LAKE OUTCASTS.   
     We only live a short time in this world, so why not take a sharp blade, and 
shave it close?  I guess it was coming sooner or later, DRAGONBANE GUILD has lost 
KONSTANTIN, and SHADOWSPIRE is bound to miss him.  For a little while, at least.  BIG 
LAKE OUTCASTS has lost MR. SHHH to the arena in the sky, but they don't seem to be 
worried.  What do you expect from 3-8-1?  The Warty Toad declares a free round for MR 
BRAIN SMASHER and all of SOME KINDA HATE, for having revenged WARMASTERS' THELONIUS 
for killing one of their comrades.  Is it really true that SHADOWSPIRE has more 
dishwashers per capita that fighters?  Just thought I'd ask...   
     I like this place, SHADOWSPIRE, the taverns have old wine, and young serving 
girls.  Who could ask for more?  Always good to rest in SHADOWSPIRE, but never good 
to wear out my welcome.  Look for me in future turns.  Until you see my quill in 
SHADOWSPIRE again, farewell-- Alarond the Scribe  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 VILMAR 2105                  21   9  1   120       CLAN LONGBEARD (39)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SLIM CHANCE 2157             15   7  1   112       SOME KINDA HATE (102)
 BEAR NAKED 2052              16   9  1   105       FURRY FURY (25)
 MICKEY SLIM 2144             18   7  0   104       WICKED MARTYRS (148)
 BEORDIN 1980                 24  20  0   100       CULT OF BACCHUS (4)
 OSIRUS 2016                  19  20  0    97       CLAN LONGBEARD (39)
 BLAGO GRUNGE 2089            22   9  0    95       DRAGONBANE GUILD (13)
 GERON 2139                   13  12  0    94       ANTHROPOS KRATOS (147)
 BLOODY JAKE 369              15  14  2    93       WAR MACHINE (26)
 AXEL VON SPIRE 2068          14  19  1    91       DRAGONBANE GUILD (13)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 THE SEAMSTRESS 986           16  42  0    90       BIG LAKE OUTCASTS (19)
 RING LARDNER 2183            13   8  0    87       LITERATE LOONS (40)
 LOST LETTER 2188             13   7  0    86       LA PENTARCHIE (11)
 JUIBLEX 2274                  7   1  0    83       MONSTER MANUAL (87)
 BLINK DOG 2066               14  20  1    81       MONSTER MANUAL (87)
 BRINDLE BADGER 2004          21  10  0    77       FURRY FURY (25)
 SON OF SEITAN 2180           12   9  2    77       OTTO'S DINER (96)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MCGREGOR 2013                16  23  1    72       DRAGONBANE GUILD (13)
-WARDEN KINCHLOE 82            9   6  0    71       CLUB CUTTHROAT (12)
 APYKO 2136                   13  12  0    70       ANTHROPOS KRATOS (147)
 HUMAN CENTIPEDE 2132         14  11  1    69       ABOMINATION (146)
 POUDREUX 2187                12   8  0    67       LA PENTARCHIE (11)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 DIRTY WHITE MOTHER 2145      14  11  1    66       WICKED MARTYRS (148)
 BAD ROLL-UPS 2130            12  12  0    66       ABOMINATION (146)
 HADRIAN 2255                  9   2  0    62       WARMASTERS (15)
 AGRIPPA 2161                 13  10  1    58       WARMASTERS (15)
 BRONKO 560                    8   7  0    58       WAR MACHINE (26)
 SKILORD 2186                  8  12  0    57       LA PENTARCHIE (11)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MR BRAIN SMASHER 2234         6   7  0    56       SOME KINDA HATE (102)
 TROG 466                     11  12  0    55       WAR MACHINE (26)
 LIME RICKEY 2147             13  12  1    54       WICKED MARTYRS (148)
 DRUECKE SPACE 2252            9   2  0    53       THE COMMODORES (150)
 MAD SCIENTIST 2230            6   8  2    53       WICKED MARTYRS (148)
 GNOMETRADAMUS 2225           10   5  1    50       CULT OF BACCHUS (4)
 MARBARITA 2146               12  13  0    49       WICKED MARTYRS (148)
 DIRE PATIENCE 2232            6   9  1    49       BIG LAKE OUTCASTS (19)
 THELONIUS 2174               13   8  1    48       WARMASTERS (15)
-GROND 80                      7   8  1    47       CLUB CUTTHROAT (12)
 TITUS 2250                    5   5  1    46       DE'JA KREW (153)
 OBAMACARE 2134                9  16  2    45       ABOMINATION (146)
 29 PALMS 2156                 8  15  1    45       ABOMINATION (146)
 ORC FOOD 2306                 2   1  1    45       OTTO'S DINER (96)
 CALIGULA 2233                 8   7  0    44       WARMASTERS (15)
 ALLEZLES KEUS 2256            7   3  0    44       LA PENTARCHIE (11)
 WRECKLESS FURY 2267           6   3  0    44       DRAGONBANE GUILD (13)
 POLITELKOREKNES 2227         10   6  2    43       ABOMINATION (146)
 DRY MOUTH MAX 2072            8  15  0    42       FURRY FURY (25)
 MONOCEROS 2034                6  11  1    42       SEARCH THE SKY (136)
-BOOGER STANG 78               4  11  0    42       CLUB CUTTHROAT (12)
 KETOS 2138                    8  17  0    41       ANTHROPOS KRATOS (147)
 NERO 2257                     6   4  0    41       WARMASTERS (15)
 RED CLAY CLOD 2197           10   8  0    38       THE COMMODORES (150)
 DR. CHUD 2206                 9   8  0    35       SOME KINDA HATE (102)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 DAVE LEBEIS 2237             10   3  0    33       BIG LAKE OUTCASTS (19)
-RECRUDESCENCE 81              8   6  0    30       CLUB CUTTHROAT (12)
 MORDECAI MOUSE 2152           6   8  0    29       FURRY FURY (25)
 HAVANA BLACK 561              6   9  0    27       WAR MACHINE (26)
 SOME KINDA PATE 2224          5  12  0    27       OTTO'S DINER (96)
 SIMO HAYHA 2261               4   5  0    27       SOME KINDA HATE (102)
 GUNNER 2249                   3   7  0    27       DE'JA KREW (153)
 CREDITS 2280                  4   3  0    24       MONSTER MANUAL (87)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 WHITT 2295                    3   2  0    23       CLAN LONGBEARD (39)
 MAELSTROM 2299                0   4  0    23       SEARCH THE SKY (136)
 DICKY TOURVILLE 2276          5   3  0    22       BIG LAKE OUTCASTS (19)
 PAVIL 2270                    5   4  0    22       CLAN LONGBEARD (39)
 LUDWIG 2246                   4   6  1    22       DE'JA KREW (153)
 GARGANTIA 2300                3   1  0    21       SEARCH THE SKY (136)
 ULFORD 2294                   3   2  0    21       CLAN LONGBEARD (39)
 LEGIONE STELLA 2100           4   6  0    20       SEARCH THE SKY (136)
 KITTY TANTRUM 2241            2   3  0    16       FURRY FURY (25)
 ASTRI 2288                    3   2  0    15       SEARCH THE SKY (136)
 NAGA 2281                     3   4  0    13       MONSTER MANUAL (87)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SHAMINO 2285                  3   3  0    12       THE COMMODORES (150)
 HAKUNA FRITTATA 2307          1   2  0    12       OTTO'S DINER (96)
 VICTUS 2271                   2   5  0    11       ANTHROPOS KRATOS (147)
 WICKED ALL REDD 2315          1   1  0    10       INEBRIATION (27)
 ZOMBIE MEAT7 2308             1   1  0    10       LA PENTARCHIE (11)
 JOE GITS YEU 2293             1   4  0     7       DE'JA KREW (153)
 BLUE DRAGON 2332              1   0  0     5       MONSTER MANUAL (87)
 TRIPLE SEC 2314               0   2  0     5       INEBRIATION (27)
 FRANK EINSTEIN 2318           1   1  0     4       DE'JA KREW (153)
 ROCKFORD 2317                 1   1  0     4       THE COMMODORES (150)
 SLOW GINNY 2327               1   0  0     4       INEBRIATION (27)
 RINGO DEATHSTAR 2310          0   1  0     1       CULT OF BACCHUS (4)
 SLURPY JOE 2330               0   1  0     1       OTTO'S DINER (96)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
MR. SHHH 2245           3  8 1 BIG LAKE OUTCASTS 19 LUDWIG 2246           205   
DEADMAN'S FLOAT 375     4  7 0 CLUB CUTTHROAT 12    MAD SCIENTIST 2230    203   
DERYN 2286              2  2 1 CULT OF BACCHUS 4    BLOODY JAKE 369       204   
KASIDIE 2278            2  4 0 CULT OF BACCHUS 4    DARK CHAMPION         205  NONE
SOLON 2287              1  2 0 CULT OF BACCHUS 4    LIL' DIRK 2301        203  NONE
KONSTANTIN 2190         7 13 0 DRAGONBANE GUILD 13  MONOCEROS 2034        205   
ALLIDOISDA 2328         0  1 0 INEBRIATION 27       BLACK ORC             205  NONE
QUICK SHOT 2329         0  1 0 INEBRIATION 27       STONE GOLEM           205  NONE
CASSIOPEIA 2005        10  6 0 SEARCH THE SKY 136   VILMAR 2105           201  NOT REVENGED
BLECH 2326              0  1 0 SOME KINDA HATE 102  BLACK ORC             205  NONE
LIZZIE 2118            12 10 0 SOME KINDA HATE 102  THELONIUS 2174        203  JUST REVENGED
OOLONG 2258             4  5 0 THE COMMODORES 150   GNOMETRADAMUS 2225    204   
VIC 20 2324             0  1 0 THE COMMODORES 150   BLACK ORC             205  NONE
COKEHEAD KOMME 2331     0  1 0 WAR MACHINE 26       BANDIT PRINCE         205  NONE
CRAZY JAY 2292          0  1 0 WAR MACHINE 26       DERYN 2286            201  REVENGED

                                     PERSONAL ADS

DeGotti -- Don't worry, now that I said anything about it, I'm sorry I did.  I know
we're all busy.  This is for fun!  So if you have time, great!  If you don't--well,
you don't.  At least you do PAs. -- Kid Arcane

Vilmar -- Wow.  That was harsh, and still stingy with the skills. -- Monoceros

Credits -- Dialing in that rhythm is tough, but I think that once I get my mojo
working, you're gonna be toast! -- Legione Stella

Naga -- Were you even trying?  Really? -- Gargantia

Prockford -- That was simply embarrassing.  And after all the things we said about
you just before the match...well, your girlfriend isn't really that ugly, and your
breath isn't really that bad.  Really. -- Maelstrom

Zombie Meat 7 -- I'm already thinking about seconds!  Yummy! -- Astri

Gertrude -- Hey!  That was a title fight!  Dang, if I'd known that, I might have
tried to look a little better while getting my butt kicked.  You seem to deserve that
title.  Now, try and put your literary skills to use and write a column. -- Blago

Dirty White Mother -- Okay, you should be off the challenge sheet for awhile.  But
thanks for the win.  Hopefully someone else can be as gracious. -- Axel

Bronko -- Well, you seem to be a bit quicker than expected.  Perhaps I won't try that
again. -- Wrekcless Fury

Bear Naked -- And yet it seems that I was the one that was exposed. -- McGregor

War Machine -- Congrats on your "stunning" BF Kill!  Your managerial prowess is
earthshaking!  I'll take the superior replacements you gave me and see you the next
few turns! -- DeGotti

Grimm -- Welcome back! -- DeGotti

Hombre -- Apologies on Oolong's demise!  I guess Gnometradamus got a little excited
there! -- DeGotti

Havoc -- Again your predictions are way off base!  Leave them to me! -- Gnometradamus

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

KASIDIE was dealt death by DARK CHAMPION in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
COKEHEAD KOMME was butchered by BANDIT PRINCE in a 2 minute brutal Dark Arena duel.
ALLIDOISDA was viciously butchered by BLACK ORC in a 1 minute Dark Arena match.
BLECH was butchered by BLACK ORC in a 1 minute gory Dark Arena contest.
VIC 20 was savagely slain by BLACK ORC in a 2 minute bloody Dark Arena match.
QUICK SHOT was dealt death by STONE GOLEM in a 2 minute Dark Arena duel.
GNOMETRADAMUS was overpowered by BLOODY JAKE in a 2 minute Bloodfeud struggle.
MR BRAIN SMASHER overpowered THELONIUS in a 1 minute uneven Bloodfeud melee.
MAELSTROM was viciously subdued by VILMAR in a 2 minute uneven Bloodfeud Title duel.
AXEL VON SPIRE was vanquished by GERTRUDE STEIN in a 1 minute Challenge duel.
SLIM CHANCE beat OSIRUS in a 2 minute veteran's Challenge melee.
BEORDIN overpowered THE SEAMSTRESS in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge match.
BLINK DOG was overcome by BEAR NAKED in a 2 minute veteran's Challenge contest.
MICKEY SLIM demolished JUIBLEX in a 1 minute bloody one-sided Challenge brawl.
SON OF SEITAN handily defeated SKILORD in a popular 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
HADRIAN bested MAD SCIENTIST in a 2 minute Challenge duel.
TITUS was overcome by BRONKO in a crowd pleasing 1 minute Challenge bout.
DRUECKE SPACE unbelievably bested 29 PALMS in a 4 minute Challenge brawl.
AGRIPPA overpowered DR. CHUD in a 3 minute brutal one-sided Challenge bout.
CALIGULA was overpowered by BAD ROLL-UPS in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge match.
ORC FOOD was overcome by POUDREUX in a 6 minute Challenge competition.
WRECKLESS FURY overpowered GARGANTIA in a popular 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
GUNNER was overcome by RED CLAY CLOD in a action packed 3 minute Challenge duel.
MONOCEROS delivered the death blow upon KONSTANTIN in a 1 minute Challenge bout.
LUDWIG savagely slew MR. SHHH in a 2 minute gory Challenge fight.
ASTRI lost to MORDECAI MOUSE in a 2 minute novice vs. expert Challenge match.
JOE GITS YEU was defeated by LEGIONE STELLA in a 3 minute brutal Challenge bout.
HAKUNA FRITTATA won victory over NAGA in a 3 minute Challenge bout.
FRANK EINSTEIN was vanquished by WHITT in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fray.
TRIPLE SEC was overcome by DAVE LEBEIS in a 5 minute Challenge bout.
LOST LETTER was narrowly defeated by BLAGO GRUNGE in a 9 minute gruesome fight.
RING LARDNER handily defeated DIRTY WHITE MOTHER in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
MCGREGOR was demolished by CONVICTED ASSASSIN in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
BRINDLE BADGER beat APYKO in a action packed 3 minute veteran's bout.
HUMAN CENTIPEDE was demolished by GERON in a 1 minute gory uneven contest.
LIME RICKEY viciously subdued DRY MOUTH MAX in a 2 minute bloody veteran's battle.
MARBARITA was overpowered by DIRE PATIENCE in a 1 minute one-sided fray.
POLITELKOREKNES demolished SOME KINDA PATE in a 4 minute mismatched match.
KETOS was demolished by DANGEROUS CRIMINAL in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
TROG overpowered CREDITS in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided duel.
OBAMACARE subdued SIMO HAYHA in a 2 minute competition.
ALLEZLES KEUS viciously subdued HAVANA BLACK in a 2 minute gory match.
NERO demolished ULFORD in a 1 minute uneven duel.
SHAMINO was bested by PAVIL in a 4 minute match.
DICKY TOURVILLE overcame WICKED ALL REDD in a 1 minute duel.
VICTUS was viciously subdued by ZOMBIE MEAT7 in a unpopular 7 minute brutal fight.
ROCKFORD was viciously subdued by KITTY TANTRUM in a 8 minute brutal amateur's melee.
SLOW GINNY outlasted RINGO DEATHSTAR in a 7 minute gory novice's fight.
SLURPY JOE slimly lost to BLUE DRAGON in a 5 minute novice's bout.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|STRIKING ATTACK                 15         TOTAL PARRY       56 -  47 -  1      54  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                  14         AIMED BLOW        55 -  47 -  1      54  |
|TOTAL PARRY                     11         STRIKING ATTACK   72 -  65 -  6      53  |
|AIMED BLOW                      10         PARRY-RIPOSTE     14 -  13 -  1      52  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    9         WALL OF STEEL     44 -  45 -  1      49  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  8         SLASHING ATTACK   51 -  57 -  3      47  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     7         LUNGING ATTACK    73 -  83 -  1      47  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   7         PARRY-STRIKE      19 -  27 -  4      41  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    5         PARRY-LUNGE       16 -  30 -  0      35  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      4         BASHING ATTACK    18 -  37 -  0      33  |

Turn 205 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

TOTAL PARRY        9 -  2     PARRY-RIPOSTE      2 -  3         2  PARRY-STRIKE   
PARRY-STRIKE       4 -  3     STRIKING ATTACK    6 -  9         2  WALL OF STEEL  
WALL OF STEEL      5 -  4     AIMED BLOW         3 -  7         2  STRIKING ATTACK
LUNGING ATTACK     7 -  7     BASHING ATTACK     2 -  5         1  AIMED BLOW     
                              PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  3         1  LUNGING ATTACK 
                              SLASHING ATTACK    2 -  6         1  PARRY-RIPOSTE  
                                                                1  SLASHING ATTACK
                                                                1  TOTAL PARRY    

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
PARRY-STRIKE     VILMAR 2105                21   9  1  120 CLAN LONGBEARD (39)
AIMED BLOW       SLIM CHANCE 2157           15   7  1  112 SOME KINDA HATE (102)
LUNGING ATTACK   MICKEY SLIM 2144           18   7  0  104 WICKED MARTYRS (148)
WALL OF STEEL    BEORDIN 1980               24  20  0  100 CULT OF BACCHUS (4)
STRIKING ATTACK  GERON 2139                 13  12  0   94 ANTHROPOS KRATOS (147)
TOTAL PARRY      BRINDLE BADGER 2004        21  10  0   77 FURRY FURY (25)
SLASHING ATTACK  LIME RICKEY 2147           13  12  1   54 WICKED MARTYRS (148)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    GNOMETRADAMUS 2225         10   5  1   50 CULT OF BACCHUS (4)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is APYKO 2136.  The most popular warrior this turn was 
GUNNER 2249.  The ten other most popular fighters were APYKO 2136, BLOODY JAKE 369, 
VILMAR 2105, SLIM CHANCE 2157, BLINK DOG 2066, 29 PALMS 2156, AGRIPPA 2161, JOE GITS 
YEU 2293, NAGA 2281, and KITTY TANTRUM 2241.

The least popular fighter this week was VICTUS 2271.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were SLOW GINNY 2327, DAVE LEBEIS 2237, ZOMBIE MEAT7 2308, ROCKFORD 2317, 
BLAGO GRUNGE 2089, PAVIL 2270, ULFORD 2294, HAVANA BLACK 561, MARBARITA 2146, and 
HUMAN CENTIPEDE 2132.

The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:

VILMAR (81-2105) CLAN LONGBEARD (39)

The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn:

GERTRUDE STEIN (81-2127) LITERATE LOONS (40)

                 FACE-TO-FACE TOURNEY LIII

CONTENDERS TOURNEY                     W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
THE SMALL CAT 74 (51-32-2)             3  3  0         LA PENTARCHIE        
BALLIOL BLACKMOON 614 (55-38-0)        1  4  0         DRAGONBANE GUILD     

ELIGIBLES TOURNEY                      W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
PO'D PANDA 147 (38-34-2)               5  3  0         FURRY FURY           
FURIOUS FOX 143 (51-54-1)              1  3  0         FURRY FURY           

ADM TOURNEY                            W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
MCBAIN 318 (37-24-0)                   5  3  0         FUCHI OWNED          
ODDJOB 1766 (42-29-1)                  3  3  0         BOND-AGE             

FRESHMEN TOURNEY                       W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
ORC CHOPS 490 (27-18-0)                7  3  0         FUCHI OWNED          
MACEO 928 (45-36-1)                    5  3  0         FUCHI OWNED          
CAT N TONIC 1870 (25-22-3)             1  3  0         FURRY FURY           
HARE BINGER 1790 (32-26-2)             1  3  0         FURRY FURY           

                             * * * * *   MEMO  * * * * *

From:       The Office of Accurate Census Reporting, Gladiatorial Commission
To:         All Managers

In the interest of preserving our natural resources and preventing managerial writer's 
cramp, census forms will be provided for warriors by request only, effective 
immediately.  Managers may register their warriors' races and/or favorite sayings by 
simply writing them on a separate piece of paper and submitting them to the 
Commission.  Each warrior may have up to 15 favorite sayings.  Each saying must be 
categorized Jeer, Gloat, Boredom, Ouch, Victory and may be up to 80 characters long.  
For any questions, please contact the Gladiatorial Commission.