Date   : 02/18/2015    Duedate: 03/03/2015


DM-81    TURN-212

This Weeks Top Honors


(81-2068) [19-21-1,114]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

AXEL VON SPIRE                 DAGN
(81-2068) [19-21-1,114]        (81-2319) [2-3-1,21]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

LITERATE LOONS (40)            OTTO'S DINER (96)
(81-2183) [16-12-0,78]         (81-2307) [3-6-0,26]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. SOME KINDA HATE (102)       50
2. WAR MACHINE (26)            47      LA PENTARCHIE (11)
3. OTTO'S DINER (96)           45      Unchartered Team
4. DRAGONBANE GUILD (13)       43
5. MONSTER MANUAL (87)         39      PRAY THE GODS (155)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 LA PENTARCHIE (11)       592 449 21 56.9   1/ 4 SOME KINDA HATE (102)    12  3 2
 2/ 2 CULT OF BACCHUS (4)      367 286 11 56.2   2/ 1 DRAGONBANE GUILD (13)    12  3 1
 3/ 5 SOME KINDA HATE (102)    132 111 13 54.3   3/ 2 WARMASTERS (15)          11  4 0
 4/ 3 WICKED MARTYRS (148)      86  73  4 54.1   4/ 3 BIG LAKE OUTCASTS (19)   10  5 1
 5/ 4 DRAGONBANE GUILD (13)    568 484 17 54.0   5/ 6 WAR MACHINE (26)          9  6 2
 6/ 6 WARMASTERS (15)          536 503 37 51.6   6/ 5 CULT OF BACCHUS (4)       8  5 0
 7/ 7 OTTO'S DINER (96)        380 360 17 51.4   7/13 MONSTER MANUAL (87)       7  8 1
 8/ 8 THE MONGOLOIDS II (30)   157 163  4 49.1   8/14 OTTO'S DINER (96)         7  8 1
 9/ 9 LITERATE LOONS (40)      430 495 18 46.5   9- 7 ABOMINATION (146)         6  4 1
10/12 MONSTER MANUAL (87)      345 424 14 44.9  10/11 LA PENTARCHIE (11)        6  9 0
11/10 THE COMMODORES (150)      56  69  1 44.8  11/16 INEBRIATION (27)          5 10 0
12-13 ABOMINATION (146)         68  85  9 44.4  12/12 THE MONGOLOIDS II (30)    5 10 0
13/14 BIG LAKE OUTCASTS (19)   240 326 18 42.4  13/ 8 WICKED MARTYRS (148)      5 10 0
14/15 SEARCH THE SKY (136)      88 131  3 40.2  14/ 9*PRAY THE GODS (155)       4 11 0
15/11*PRAY THE GODS (155)       10  15  2 40.0  15/10 THE COMMODORES (150)      4 11 0
16/16 WAR MACHINE (26)          76 121 10 38.6  16/15 SEARCH THE SKY (136)      2  8 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
17/17 INEBRIATION (27)          38  84  4 31.1  17/17 LITERATE LOONS (40)       0  3 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

                              Half a Dozen of One...

     "Yer really startin' to tick me off! First ya want this, and then ya want that!
Do ya KNOW how to manage a team or don't ya??!!"  Havoc slid the heavy armchair back
so hard it bounced against the wall behind him.  Its wide wooden back made a deep
horizontal crack in the paneling.  His hands clenched and unclenched at his sides;
his nostrils flared with the force of his breathing.  "What about: 'Whatever happens,
     Arcane looked up from his seat, facing the desk.  His head tilted back and to
the side in a slow, lazy fashion; his face held a quizzical, narrow-eyed expression.
His hands remained relaxed and draped across the wide, thickly-padded arms of his
chair.  A deep sigh raised his narrow chest as the Kid nestled back into the deep
cushioning.  His eyes glowed with their usual eery light.  "Aren't you forgetting
that this imbecile caused us to miss a turn in the arena listings?"
     A dull red seemed to flush up Havoc's neck, but it quickly faded as he clenched
his teeth and waved a calloused hand dismissively between them. "That coulda happened
to anybody!"
     "We had a two-fight discount that turn!" Arcane chuckled mirthlessly.  "How can
you men moan about a lack of bonus pay when your incompetence costs me so dearly?"
     Havoc growled and dropped his eyes to the scarred and cluttered desk.  His
breath now came in slow, measured droughts - deep and controlled.  With his head
tilted forward he peered up under bushy eyebrows.  His voice was like old chainmail
being dragged across a gravel path. "Ya got somethin' to say, just say it."
     The Kid smirked full into Havoc's face.  "How was your date with Bobbi?"
     The breath seeped from Havoc slowly; it was as if he were an inflatable, heavy-
set warrior doll, deflating as he stood behind the desk.  His head bowed and his
fists clenched, Havoc let out around dry cackle.  He looked up again and met the
Kid's knowing half-smile without flinching.  "Yeah, okay.  I shoulda been the one to
turn in the paperwork.  I shouldn'ta sent the dummy to do it, okay?  Satisfied?"
     "Who turned in this week's entry forms?"
     Havoc frowned and crossed his heavily-muscled arms across his broad chest.  "I
sent Gargantia."  His voice held an edge.  "Why'd ya care? She's pretty proud of
herself, ya know."  Havoc's wide shoulders swiveled up in an elaborate shrug.  "It
seemed all right to me."
     Arcane sniffed, then looked up at the ceiling for a few seconds before meeting
Havoc's challenging scowl.  "Stand down; I'm not telling you what you should've done.
I'm just reminding you that I DO keep tabs on what's going on with my team."
     Havoc snorted.  "Well if ya know it's my fault we missed that bonus turn, and ya
let 'im fight this last turn, why try to get rid of 'im NOW?"
     "Two out of eight?  A twenty-five percent win/loss? And no 'Expert' ratings
     Havoc's barrel chest swelled with a huge sigh of his own.  His dark brown eyes
met the Kids' luminous look without blanching or blinking. He begin to pace back and
forth behind his desk, shoving the heavy armchair out of his way as he made his first
circuit. Without dropping his eyes he threw out a meaty fist and raised a finger to
emphasize his point.
     "Yeah, well, for one, he's raised a buncha stats, right? So's he's got more
skills than we've seen in the fight reports, right?"  The Kid offered a lazy shrug.
Havoc, still pacing, raised a second finger.  "And he's tough, really tough!  He can
take a pounding; he just needs to learn how to pace hisself!"
     Arcane let a brief, explosive chuckle escape.  "He needs to learn how to parry,
how to attack, and maybe how to win!"
     Havoc stopped pacing and came around to the front of the desk.  He stood
directly in front of the Kid and glared down into his half smile.  His voice rumbled
like thunder.  "Hey, all things considered, he ain't done so bad."
     Arcane yawned, briefly covering his mouth with one well-manicured hand.  He met
Havoc's eyes and made a nonchalant gesture.  "He hasn't done so well, either.  All
things considered."
     "Well, we gotta get him the right challenges," Havoc growled.  "That's yer job!
I don't see ya porin' over the newsletters and fight reports like ya used to, Kid.
Yer gettin' lazy!"
     Arcane rolled his eyes and sat up. Anchoring his elbows on the arms of his
chair, he brought his slim fingertips together in a small steeple and propped his
narrow chin on top of them.  He used his dry, bored, professorial voice.  He knew
Havoc hated that.
     "In case it had escaped  your notice, I always make sure we have challenges AND
avoids for every fight.  However, our challenges don't seem to always go through the
way we would wish," mused Arcane. "So it seems-"
     "Whose job izzit to make those challenges happen, HUH?!" Havoc interjected.  He
slammed his fist into his palm with a meaty SMACK.  His voice was gruff, but earnest.
He dropped the volume to a low-pitched drum.  "Ya gotta work with this guy a little
longer, Kid. He's gonna turn a corner soon; I can feel it."
     The Arcane Kid looked up into Havoc's broad face.  They stared at each other for
a few more seconds before the Kid made another deep sigh.  He dropped one hand and
let it hang into his lap as he cradled his chin in the slender palm of his other hand
and slouched back into the chair's soft padding.
     Arcane frowned at Havoc's back as he nodded and headed back around the desk.  He
pulled the chair back into its position and reseated himself, a satisfied grin well
in place.  His smile melted as the Kid added a small caveat. "But Havoc, if he loses
just two more in a row, TWO, he's going to find himself the next Chipped Plate
Special at Otto's Diner."
     Havoc glared into Arcane's blazing eyes for a few seconds, then he gave another
shrug and turned his attention to the jumble of odds and ends on his desk.  He pushed
back a small space in front of him and began shuffling and organizing the papers and
papyrus scrolls.  "We'll burn that bridge when we get to it," he grunted.
     Arcane drew a sketchy nod in the air and sat up again.  "So what's going on with
that whole 'Mordraith-hates-everyone-but-now-Den-and-Degotti-can't-keep-their-eyes-
off-each-other" thing going?"
     Havoc chuckled and shook his head; a sincere grin of malice appeared.  "Who
knows, who cares?"  He tossed a scroll; Arcane made a deft catch with his left.
"Look that over, Kid.  I wanna know what we're going to do 'bout all these damned
T.P.'s runnin' around Shadowspire!"

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

     Greetings fine people of Shadowspire, 'tis I, Slim Chance, your Duelmaster once
more.  As much as I would love to enjoy a lengthy stay at the top of the arena
rankings it seems The Isle has need of me and I will be gone after my next fight.
     I know the arena will not be the same without me, but try to contain your
sorrow.  Our guild will continue to showcase the premier talent in this arena and I'm
sure a brother of mine will take the throne in due time.  Farewell!
--Slim Chance

How the hell did you clowns allow me to graduate this guy?  "ABs are so tough to
graduate here."  "Everyone keeps killing my aimers."...  I hear this over and over.
Maybe it's poor management on ya'lls part.  Anyway (to rub it in a bit) this is Slim

3-3-12-21-15-9-21 AB

Yep, 3CN.  Let that sink in.  I ran a 3 CN AB to a 19-8-2 record.
-- Mordraith

                                      SPY REPORT

     Greetings warriors!  It is I, Zontani Sharp Eyes, here to bring report of the 
clash and bustle of the weekly SHADOWSPIRE games.  Former top team DRAGONBANE GUILD 
was unseated this week as SOME KINDA HATE moved up from 4th ranking to take the top 
spot with a 5-0-1 record for the round.  Fortune did not smile upon WICKED MARTYRS 
this time out who this turn suffered a fall into 13th position in the wake of a 1-4-0 
round.  Warriors--remember that glory waits always around the corner!  Witness how 
this week MONSTER MANUAL went 3-2-1 to move up 6 in the rankings.  Did only my eyes 
note the 4-1-1 record which OTTO'S DINER managed to post this round?  I don't doubt 
that such a record will draw challengers!  CREDITS caught the eye of many in the 
gladiatorial commission as he skillfully bested GNOMETRADAMUS and was awarded 24 
points in recognition.  In one of the week's more notable duels, SHAMINO put down 
LEGIONE STELLA, causing him to lose 17 points of recognition in the process.  As is 
fitting, the most sought after warrior on the challenge boards this week was none 
other than Duelmaster SLIM CHANCE itself.  Who here was not present for the title 
fight this week as DIRTY WHITE MOTHER boldly challenged SLIM CHANCE in order to 
strive for the Duelmasters honors?  Although DIRTY WHITE MOTHER made a valiant 
effort, it did not suffice to topple the reign of victorious SLIM CHANCE.  Informants 
"close" to the city champion have told me that he never fights without pantyhose on 
beneath his armor.  Watch out!   
     Many and various are the arts of battle.  In SHADOWSPIRE "art" is a word that 
has long since passed from the language!  My inside sources tell me that the team to 
beat in SHADOWSPIRE these days is CULT OF BACCHUS.  At least, most blades in town are 
looking to avoid them.  Apparently the stalwarts of SEARCH THE SKY are catching the 
bulk of jests down at the challenging board for their large share of the avoids.  At 
the gambling halls I have started to bet money on AGRIPPA.  He has got the courage it 
takes.  Witness his challenge this turn against DJEREE THE DJERK!  I must admit to 
some joy.  Before my very eyes the underdog in this contest, AGRIPPA, defeated DJEREE 
THE DJERK to claim victory and recognition.  I can not but mention with disdain the 
name of DICKY TOURVILLE who this week posted a challenge to a warrior a full 10 
points below in the rankings.  I thought DICKY TOURVILLE showed great skill and 
promise when he beat MONOCEROS.  All right, so I slept through it!  Big deal!   
     Vendettas.  Bloodied blades and broken spears.  Indeed the city has seen more 
than its fair share of red in recent times.  The warrior's path is harsh.  For 
mediocrity there is but one reward--death.  This past week BRONKO, at 11-11-0, 
departed SHADOWSPIRE forever.  Many townsmen have begin to remark over the fact that 
after one more round of duels THE COMMODORES' Bloodfeud against AGRIPPA will have 
expired.  Dark alleys may hide both secrets and assassins.  In the arena there is 
only the brightness of steel.  Keep vigil always!   
     The girls are as pretty in SHADOWSPIRE as ever I remembered them....and the 
fighters as ugly!  Don't let your reputation slip!  Sadly warriors, now longer can I 
keep thy company nor savor the ale of thy fine city.  Depart I must and soon!  Till 
next we meet remember:  a fool flies into a rage quickly and often.  The wise are 
angered by the same thing only once.  Zontani Sharp Eyes  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 AXEL VON SPIRE 2068          19  21  1   114       DRAGONBANE GUILD (13)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BLAGO GRUNGE 2089            27  11  1   107       DRAGONBANE GUILD (13)
 BLOODY JAKE 369              17  19  2   104       WAR MACHINE (26)
 HADRIAN 2255                 15   3  0   104       WARMASTERS (15)
 LOST LETTER 2188             17  10  0    96       LA PENTARCHIE (11)
 DIRE PATIENCE 2232           10  12  2    94       BIG LAKE OUTCASTS (19)
-BAD ROLL-UPS 2130            16  14  0    93       ABOMINATION (146)
 AGRIPPA 2161                 18  12  2    92       WARMASTERS (15)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 JUIBLEX 2274                 12   3  0    90       MONSTER MANUAL (87)
 DIRTY WHITE MOTHER 2145      17  15  1    89       WICKED MARTYRS (148)
 SIMO HAYHA 2261               9   6  0    89       SOME KINDA HATE (102)
 KIMBHULEE 1019               18  12  0    88       THE MONGOLOIDS II (30)
 LIME RICKEY 2147             17  15  1    85       WICKED MARTYRS (148)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 DJEREE THE DJERK 623         21  21  0    84       THE MONGOLOIDS II (30)
 TROG 466                     15  15  1    82       WAR MACHINE (26)
 RING LARDNER 2183            16  12  0    78       LITERATE LOONS (40)
-HUMAN CENTIPEDE 2132         15  16  2    78       ABOMINATION (146)
 THELONIUS 2174               17  10  1    76       WARMASTERS (15)
 MR BRAIN SMASHER 2234         9  10  0    72       SOME KINDA HATE (102)
 HAVANA BLACK 561             10  12  0    68       WAR MACHINE (26)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CALIGULA 2233                13   9  0    66       WARMASTERS (15)
 SOME KINDA PATE 2224          8  15  0    64       OTTO'S DINER (96)
-POLITELKOREKNES 2227         13   9  3    63       ABOMINATION (146)
 DICKY TOURVILLE 2276         10   5  0    59       BIG LAKE OUTCASTS (19)
 MYKUL 1018                   13  17  0    58       THE MONGOLOIDS II (30)
-OBAMACARE 2134               12  19  2    57       ABOMINATION (146)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 DAVE LEBEIS 2237             16   4  0    56       BIG LAKE OUTCASTS (19)
-29 PALMS 2156                11  18  2    53       ABOMINATION (146)
 BROOSS 1287                   3   4  0    53       THE MONGOLOIDS II (30)
 POUDREUX 2187                12  15  0    51       LA PENTARCHIE (11)
 SKILORD 2186                 11  16  0    51       LA PENTARCHIE (11)
 CREDITS 2280                  8   6  0    51       MONSTER MANUAL (87)
 SHAMINO 2285                  7   6  0    51       THE COMMODORES (150)
 GNOMETRADAMUS 2225           13   9  1    49       CULT OF BACCHUS (4)
 WRECKLESS FURY 2267           8   8  0    48       DRAGONBANE GUILD (13)
 NERO 2257                    10   7  0    46       WARMASTERS (15)
 ALLEZLES KEUS 2256            9   8  0    46       LA PENTARCHIE (11)
 MONOCEROS 2034                8  14  1    45       SEARCH THE SKY (136)
 DRAGONSCYTHE 2340             6   1  1    43       DRAGONBANE GUILD (13)
 ASTRI 2288                    6   4  0    40       SEARCH THE SKY (136)
 MAELSTROM 2299                2   7  0    35       SEARCH THE SKY (136)
 RINGO DEATHSTAR 2310          5   3  0    34       CULT OF BACCHUS (4)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 GARGANTIA 2300                6   3  0    33       SEARCH THE SKY (136)
 WHISPER 2325                  6   1  0    32       CULT OF BACCHUS (4)
 NAGA 2281                     6   8  1    31       MONSTER MANUAL (87)
 LEGIONE STELLA 2100           6   9  0    30       SEARCH THE SKY (136)
 HAKUNA FRITTATA 2307          3   6  0    26       OTTO'S DINER (96)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 OMFUG 2341                    3   2  2    23       SOME KINDA HATE (102)
 LE CHRURGIEN 2342             3   2  0    23       LA PENTARCHIE (11)
 CARNIFERN 2346                2   2  0    23       THE COMMODORES (150)
 ALCESTE 2355                  2   1  0    23       SOME KINDA HATE (102)
 GROK DA CAVEMAN 2364          2   0  0    22       DRAGONBANE GUILD (13)
 DAGN 2319                     2   3  1    21       PRAY THE GODS (155)
 THE CHAMP 2361                2   0  1    20       WAR MACHINE (26)
 FLIED LICE 2362               2   0  1    19       OTTO'S DINER (96)
 BLUE DRAGON 2332              5   3  0    18       MONSTER MANUAL (87)
 SMOOTH HOPERATOR 2344         2   2  0    16       INEBRIATION (27)
 CERYOSHE 2347                 2   2  0    15       PRAY THE GODS (155)
 RUMMER 2320                   2   3  1    14       PRAY THE GODS (155)
 WICKED ALL REDD 2315          2   6  1    14       INEBRIATION (27)
 PEEKING DUCK 2363             2   0  0    14       OTTO'S DINER (96)
 LISHCHKA 2322                 3   2  0    13       PRAY THE GODS (155)
 SLOW GINNY 2327               3   4  0    13       INEBRIATION (27)
 ROCKFORD 2317                 2   7  0    13       THE COMMODORES (150)
 SAILOR JEFFRY 2338            2   4  0    11       INEBRIATION (27)
 BLACK BISON 2359              1   1  0    10       WICKED MARTYRS (148)
 WHITE LADY 2350               2   2  0     8       WICKED MARTYRS (148)
 BABY CRAMBUS 2343             2   2  0     8       CULT OF BACCHUS (4)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 LOSER DEGOTTI 2354            0   3  0     3       BIG LAKE OUTCASTS (19)
 SASCHA 2358                   0   2  0     2       PRAY THE GODS (155)
 SKAHT 2370                    0   1  0     1       THE MONGOLOIDS II (30)
 RYK THE DRAGON 2371           0   1  0     1       BIG LAKE OUTCASTS (19)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
GOTHMOG 2345            0  2 0 BIG LAKE OUTCASTS 19 DAGN 2319             209   
ALISTER SIN 2334        0  3 0 CULT OF BACCHUS 4    RUMMER 2320           209  JUST REVENGED
DEADFURY 2356           0  1 0 CULT OF BACCHUS 4    THE CHAMP 2361        211   
HOPTIMUS PRIME 2351     1  2 0 INEBRIATION 27       NAGA 2281             212   
COCKATRICE 2367         0  2 0 MONSTER MANUAL 87    FLIED LICE 2362       212   
WURM FODDER 2373        0  1 0 OTTO'S DINER 96      HIGH ELF              212  NONE
PACHEM 2323             1  1 0 PRAY THE GODS 155    DRAGONSCYTHE 2340     209   
BOB 2372                0  1 0 THE COMMODORES 150   STONE GOLEM           212  NONE
CAN-AM 2357             0  3 0 THE COMMODORES 150   OMFUG 2341            212   
DRUECKE SPACE 2252     11  4 0 THE COMMODORES 150   AGRIPPA 2161          209   
RALF JONES 2339         4  1 1 THE COMMODORES 150   TROG 466              210   
BAHBI 621              16 24 1 THE MONGOLOIDS II 30 DIRE PATIENCE 2232    210   
BRONKO 560             11 11 0 WAR MACHINE 26       BLAGO GRUNGE 2089     212   
DC71 2369               0  1 0 WICKED MARTYRS 148   STONE GOLEM           212  NONE

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Dire -- A little miffed at last turn's loss?  Figured you would have been happy with
all the skills.  Such is the life or death, I should say, of the arena warrior. --
Ghost of Bahbi

BlLO -- Not sure if I have anyone to take down a skill machine like Dire.  But I am
sending my crap anyway. -- Otis

Warmasters -- I think I'm more impressed than upset about Druecke Space.  That was a
tough kill--18 con and 19 will?  Yikes.  The decent replacement eased the pain quite
a bit. -- Hombre

Agrippa -- Oh I don't know... seven good skills in two fights for me and one useless
skill for you, I'd say it's worked out pretty well for me. -- Rockford

Naga -- That was nothing personal, Shamino was actually the warrior that challenged
you two turns ago but the gladiatorial commission apparently wanted to keep things
interesting and threw a really bad style match-up (for me) your way.  Shall we call
it even? -- The Commodores

Crambus -- I guess we should just chuck that John Gotti reference to my managerial
name of DeGotti, up to you being old as dirt and having a rock for a brain too? --

Rummer -- Thanks for throwing yourself on Ringo's short spear and allowing for a
successful, yet unintentional Bloodfued! -- DeGotti

Crambus -- I will accept the Baby Crambus vs The Champ BF challenge for 3 turns or
until 1 is living! -- DeGotti

Vanek -- As soon as you speak up, the censor police sirens go off!  Coincidence? --

Den -- What?  No DM Column?  Did you run out of funds to pay your scribe or was it
friends who know how to write?  I'm betting on the latter! -- DeGotti

Seamstress -- I get a shot at the throne against someone with a worse record than I
have and I blow it.  Sadly, there are those that are not surprised. -- Axel von Spire

Djeree -- That was kinda Djerke of you.  Not nice at all. -- Blago Grunge

Maelstrom -- I love a good random matchup.  You now, the kind where the stars all
align and you get to toy with someone and then go all furious on them?  Good stuff.
-- Wreckless Fury

Dagn -- Gotta give you credit for persistence.  Avenging a death is an honorable task
and you appear to be giving it your all.  Credit to you.  I'll be here waiting if you
wish to try again. -- Dragonscythe

Cockatrice -- And the manual opens again.  Are there Cavemen in that book? -- Grok

DeGotti -- Comparing me to Consortium is like comparing Chuck Norris to Andy Dick,
simply not reality. -- Den

Mordraith -- You smell that?  Smells like someone died. -- Den
P.S.  Don't worry about my record, it will correct, actually inevitable that it will
be so with the likes of you and your special friend DeGotti here.

DeGotti -- Where I hoped to engage in witty banter with you, it would appear that I
am supplying all the "wit" and most of the "banter."  You seem to have perfected the
"I'm rubber and you're glue, whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you"
approach.  Instead of using that peanut that was gifted to you as a brain to come up
with something original you instead hack-up what I say to you and weaken it with your
idiocy and then attempt to throw it back into my lap.  Trust me, insignificant one,
with low expectations and sad reality, if you could convey a simple message you could
hold seminars on how to disappoint women and probably your landlord when the rent is
due.  Try to be better at something, even something very rudimentary so you can have
a little hope.  Then, it would bring me immense joy to squash that hope from you. --
P.S.  I have written dozens of DM columns here in Shadowspire, they are in fact
immortalized in the Hall of Fame where the children of the sands can read and learn
from them as they are intended.  Where I help the land grow and mature, you pretty
much don't.

Vanek -- I hope you choke on that popcorn.  And, thanks for your challenge, dolt. --

Otto -- I must confess that it brought me great joy that you were not able to
successfully achieve your bloodfued against my Seamstress.  She was not great, but
good enough to break a few eggs at the diner when she needed to. -- Den

Otis the Punk -- Looks like my Dire Patience will have a winning record soon, due to
your bloodfueds.  My thanks. -- Den

Kid Arcane -- Stick to something you know about, like winning your 5th consecutive
Shadowspire Drag Queen title instead of challenging my warriors.  You will only hurt
that pretty little face of yours. Then how will you win your 6th title? -- Den

Hombre -- What, going to take your toys and run home and cry?  Still avoiding me?
I'm looking forward to my next down-challenge win against you. -- Den

Degott'i -- Of course after I kill them, you call them scrubs.  Take a look at my
team, do they appear any better?  If your 'srcubs' were still alive you'd call them
champions.  Self-centered, egotistical, and delusional?  That's what it's called when
I make reference to myself as an over-eater and an alcoholic?  Um... okay. --

Crambus, the Cult Slayer
P.S.  I'm sure you'll have something say about me and your name foul-up, BLAH BLAH

Vanek -- You're liking that entertainment, are ya?  Well, that might be, but I'm
afraid no popcorn will be consumed on my arena sands!  I hate that crap!  Brats,
cheeseburgers, jalapeno poppers, cheese curds, and beer are A-okay.  But no popcorn
here!  That stuff stinks like Mordraith's feet. -- Crambus

Otto X -- There better not be any popcorn served in your establishment, or I'll send
Bloody Jake in to bloody the joint up.  I also want an equal amount of blueberries in
every muffin. Your kitchen is being watched, mister. -- Crambus, the Health Inspector

Degotti -- Hurry up and kill The Champ, so I can get another some-what warrior on my
team instead of one that sucks. -- Crambus

Kid Arcane -- You don't know which team is mine?  That's cute.  I'll guess I'll have
someone dig up Starry Void to jog your memory... --Mordraith mgr. SOME KINDA HATE
P.S.  I'd show you the underside of my boot again, but I'm afraid you'd runaway like
last time...

Crambus -- You say you "flush the poop," but you're still here.  The AA Boys should
all chip in and hire a plumber and rectify that situation. -- Mordraith

Inebriation (whoever you are) -- Seriously, give up.  Your squad has no chance
against mine, take your loses and learn that life is hard for people like you and so
easy for people like me... -- Mordraith

Poudreux -- I should challenge you more often! -- Simo Hayha

Bad Roll-ups -- More like bad match-ups. 29 Fights vs 17 Fights?  I'd be 12-6 at
least if i wasn't giving up 10-15 Fights of experience every time The Commission
picks my fight... -- Mr. Brain Smasher

Bloody Jake -- Brave challenge...  Utterly Stupid, but brave... -- Slim Chance

Dave Lebeis -- Congratulaitons.  You're officially a statue.  Prepare yourself for a
little 'vandalism'. -- Legione Stella

Gnometradamus -- Given the huge difference in our F.E., tell the truth; you didn't
see that one coming, did you? -- Astri

Whisper -- All that work for almost no skills at all?  You are worthless!  At least
you made me look good while I pounded on your armor. -- Gargantia

Havana Black -- Wrong strategy fro the wrong opponent.  You're really not that good.
I just blew it second guessing myself.  Next time. -- Monoceros

Vanek -- Oooohhh.  Now we'll have to put rubber sheets on Monceros' bunk.  Again.
You scary guy, you. -- Astri

Wreckless Fury -- More like 'Drunk and Disorderly'. -- Maelstrom

Degotti and Crambus -- Get a room already! -- Havoc

Otto's Diner -- I think you just explained the gristle in the Chipped Plate Specials.
-- Havoc

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

WURM FODDER was butchered by HIGH ELF in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
BOB was butchered by STONE GOLEM in a 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
DC71 was murdered by STONE GOLEM in a 1 minute Dark Arena melee.
BROOSS was savagely defeated by DIRE PATIENCE in a 2 minute Bloodfeud fight.
WHISPER bested RUMMER in a 3 minute Bloodfeud fight.
CARNIFERN was overpowered by TROG in a 1 minute mismatched Bloodfeud match.
CERYOSHE was overpowered by DRAGONSCYTHE in a 1 minute one-sided Bloodfeud struggle.
BABY CRAMBUS was devastated by THE CHAMP in a 1 minute Bloodfeud competition.
AXEL VON SPIRE handily defeated KIMBHULEE in a 1 minute uneven Challenge Title melee.
DIRTY WHITE MOTHER was vanquished by SLIM CHANCE in a 1 minute Challenge duel.
CALIGULA was vanquished by SIMO HAYHA in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
AGRIPPA defeated DJEREE THE DJERK in a 2 minute gory expert's Challenge match.
SOME KINDA PATE overpowered ASTRI in a 1 minute bloody one-sided Challenge match.
WRECKLESS FURY was handily defeated by MR BRAIN SMASHER in a 1 minute contest.
DAVE LEBEIS outlasted POUDREUX in a tiring 10 minute bloody Challenge brawl.
DICKY TOURVILLE overcame MONOCEROS in a 2 minute Challenge fight.
SHAMINO vanquished LEGIONE STELLA in a 2 minute mismatched Challenge bout.
SAILOR JEFFRY won victory over SASCHA in a 2 minute Challenge fray.
HAKUNA FRITTATA savagely defeated ROCKFORD in a 4 minute Challenge brawl.
GARGANTIA overpowered BLUE DRAGON in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
LOSER DEGOTTI was savagely defeated by BLACK BISON in a 6 minute Challenge bout.
GROK DA CAVEMAN devastated SLOW GINNY in a 2 minute gory one-sided Challenge contest.
HOPTIMUS PRIME was slaughtered by NAGA in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge match.
DAGN handily defeated WHITE LADY in a 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
HADRIAN devastated KUNG-FU MASTER in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
LIME RICKEY was luckily beaten by LOST LETTER in a 2 minute expert's fight.
BLAGO GRUNGE narrowly killed BRONKO in a popular 5 minute gory expert's fight.
JUIBLEX subdued RING LARDNER in a exciting 1 minute melee.
BLOODY JAKE vanquished THELONIUS in a action packed 1 minute one-sided fray.
HAVANA BLACK overpowered ALLEZLES KEUS in a exciting 1 minute gory uneven competition.
GNOMETRADAMUS was overpowered by CREDITS in a 1 minute gory uneven duel.
NERO overpowered FRATSFA SLAVE in a 1 minute one-sided match.
SKILORD defeated MAELSTROM in a exciting 1 minute bout.
MYKUL overpowered LE CHRURGIEN in a 1 minute one-sided fray.
RINGO DEATHSTAR slimly won victory over WICKED ALL REDD in a 2 minute duel.
OMFUG assassinated CAN-AM in a 1 minute one-sided struggle.
LISHCHKA was luckily beaten by ALCESTE in a 2 minute gruesome novice's struggle.
FLIED LICE assassinated COCKATRICE in a 1 minute bloody one-sided match.
PEEKING DUCK subdued SKAHT in a popular 1 minute novice's duel.
SMOOTH HOPERATOR vanquished RYK THE DRAGON in a exciting 1 minute mismatched bout.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|STRIKING ATTACK                 17         AIMED BLOW        51 -  39 -  3      57  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                  15         WALL OF STEEL     40 -  34 -  3      54  |
|AIMED BLOW                      10         TOTAL PARRY       48 -  43 -  2      53  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  8         LUNGING ATTACK    77 -  75 -  5      51  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    6         SLASHING ATTACK   38 -  38 -  0      50  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   5         STRIKING ATTACK   70 -  79 -  9      47  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      5         PARRY-RIPOSTE     15 -  20 -  1      43  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      3         PARRY-LUNGE       14 -  22 -  1      39  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     3         PARRY-STRIKE      16 -  26 -  1      38  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    3         BASHING ATTACK    18 -  31 -  3      37  |

Turn 212 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-LUNGE        3 -  0     STRIKING ATTACK    7 - 10         3  WALL OF STEEL  
WALL OF STEEL      4 -  2     TOTAL PARRY        2 -  3         3  AIMED BLOW     
AIMED BLOW         6 -  4     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  3         2  STRIKING ATTACK
BASHING ATTACK     3 -  2     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  3         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
LUNGING ATTACK     8 -  7                                       1  SLASHING ATTACK
SLASHING ATTACK    4 -  4     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
WALL OF STEEL    BLAGO GRUNGE 2089          27  11  1  107 DRAGONBANE GUILD (13)
STRIKING ATTACK  AGRIPPA 2161               18  12  2   92 WARMASTERS (15)
AIMED BLOW       JUIBLEX 2274               12   3  0   90 MONSTER MANUAL (87)
SLASHING ATTACK  LIME RICKEY 2147           17  15  1   85 WICKED MARTYRS (148)
TOTAL PARRY      DAVE LEBEIS 2237           16   4  0   56 BIG LAKE OUTCASTS (19)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    GNOMETRADAMUS 2225         13   9  1   49 CULT OF BACCHUS (4)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is RING LARDNER 2183.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was BRONKO 560.  The ten other most popular fighters were HAKUNA FRITTATA 2307, 

The least popular fighter this week was DAVE LEBEIS 2237.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were POUDREUX 2187, LOSER DEGOTTI 2354, RYK THE DRAGON 2371, 
PRIME 2351, SLOW GINNY 2327, and BLUE DRAGON 2332.

The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:


The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn: