DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 05/24/2017    Duedate: 06/06/2017

SHADOWSPIRE ARENA

DM-81    TURN-268

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

OSIRUS
CLAN LONGBEARD (39)
(81-2016) [23-21-0,111]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

OSIRUS                         POSITION IS EMPTY
CLAN LONGBEARD (39)            
(81-2016) [23-21-0,111]        

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

JANNA                          LUXLORD BLACK
PRAY THE GODS (155)            BIG LAKE OUTCASTS (19)
(81-2581) [18-16-1,96]         (81-2608) [14-20-2,76]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

CULT OF BACCHUS (4)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. PRAY THE GODS (155)         50
2. FROM THE LEFT (166)         34      CULT OF BACCHUS (4)
3. DRAGONBANE GUILD (13)       33      Unchartered Team
4. MONSTER MANUAL (87)         26
5. BIG LAKE OUTCASTS (19)      25      PENTIGONAL PINK (63)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 2 CULT OF BACCHUS (4)      520 394 17 56.9   1/ 1 CULT OF BACCHUS (4)      10  4 1
 2/ 1 SHANGHAIED (161)         122  93  6 56.7   2/11 CLAN LONGBEARD (39)       9  6 0
 3/ 3 DRAGONBANE GUILD (13)    701 590 19 54.3   3/ 8 OTTO'S DINER (96)         9  6 0
 4/ 5 DARQUE AGES (29)         584 513 21 53.2   4/13 PRAY THE GODS (155)       8  5 0
 5/ 4 WICKED MARTYRS (148)     232 205 10 53.1   5/10 THE COMMODORES (150)      7  7 0
 6/ 6 OTTO'S DINER (96)        526 488 26 51.9   6/12 FROM THE LEFT (166)       7  8 1
 7/ 7 CLAN LONGBEARD (39)      536 507 21 51.4   7/ 5 DARQUE AGES (29)          7  8 0
 8/ 9 THE COMMODORES (150)     200 191  6 51.2   8/ 9 SEARCH THE SKY (136)      7  8 0
 9/12 FROM THE LEFT (166)       30  30  2 50.0   9/15 DRAGONBANE GUILD (13)     6  4 0
10/10 FURRY FURY (25)          436 443 21 49.6  10/ 6 WICKED MARTYRS (148)      6  8 0
11/ 8 KILL EM ALL (173)         42  43  3 49.4  11/ 7 KILL EM ALL (173)         6  9 0
12/11 THE MONSANTIS (112)      142 159 13 47.2  12/ 4 INEBRIATION (27)          6  9 0
13/13 PRAY THE GODS (155)      125 148 11 45.8  13- 3 WARBOW (170)              5  5 1
14/ 0 MONSTER MANUAL (87)      458 557 18 45.1  14/14 BIG LAKE OUTCASTS (19)    5 10 0
15/14 BIG LAKE OUTCASTS (19)   360 482 27 42.8  15/ 2 SHANGHAIED (161)          5 10 0
16/15 SEARCH THE SKY (136)     178 255  9 41.1  16/16 THE MONSANTIS (112)       3  7 0
17-16 WARBOW (170)              38  57  2 40.0  17/ 0 MONSTER MANUAL (87)       2  3 0
18/17 INEBRIATION (27)         158 243 13 39.4  18/17 FURRY FURY (25)           0  9 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19-18 DOOM BRIGADE (158)        37  64  2 36.6  19-18 DOOM BRIGADE (158)        0  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

                                   News In the Wind

     The smells swirling in the spring breezes were a surreal mix of the repulsive and 
the provocative.  The odd combination of aromas stemmed from the food cart's location.  
A local stable servicing the Shadowspire arena was only a block away to the West; 
Otto's Diner was just across the twisted cobbled street to the North.  And of course, 
the bustling tumult of diverse patrons jostling in sloppy queues around the food cart 
added their own unique bouquet to the atmosphere.
     The Arcane Kid sat at a smallish, rickety picnic table.  The gouges in the soft 
dirt testified that the table had been dragged as far away from the food cart and the 
cacophony surrounding it as the shade allowed.
     The Kid's thin face wore a twisted half-frown; his narrowed, glowing eyes were 
somewhat dimmed by the afternoon sun.  He seemed to exude disdain for the swarms of 
customers sitting elbow to elbow, filling the worn benches and tables around the cart.  
The Kid ignored a pile of melted cheese covering an undetermined meat that bubbled on 
its greasy wooden plate on the table.
     "Whew!" Havoc slid onto the bench across from the Kid.  "I hadda bribe some punk 
justa get a decent place in line!"  His plate, loaded with a sizzling slab of meat, 
was in one calloused hand.  A tall ceramic tankard, cracked and stained and full to 
the brim with a foaming liquid, was in the other.
     The Kid shook his head and frowned some more as Havoc took out one of his knives, 
impaled and lifted the meat, and began gnawing at it in earnest enthusiasm.
     "Yes, I had to spend some money just to get this table to ourselves." Arcane 
sniffed and shook his head.  "You've hit a new low," he said.  "Strange food from an 
uncertain source... okay.  It hasn't killed you yet.  But Otto's has that angle 
covered.  How does one explain...? " The Kid waved a slender hand at the other tables.  
"And why?  Merely because Otto's was closed for a couple of weeks?  Ha!"  The Kid 
shook his head again and pursed his lips.  "Now some peculiar... creature... parks his 
cart across the street and all the local vagabonds flock to ingest... this!"  Arcane 
waved at the bubbling mass on the  plate before him.  "What's the attraction?"
     Havoc sighed, then took a healthy swig from his tankard.  He took another bite 
from the meat dangling from his knife, taking his time to chew and savor a mouthful 
before swallowing and making his reply.
     "First of all, I like the taste of this stuff, 'kay?"  He waved his tankard at 
the tables around them before taking another deep swig.  "Second," he said, putting 
down his tankard and wiping his mouth on the back of his brawny arm, "It's cheap."
     Havoc raised his knife and twisted the meat in the air, examining it carefully 
and avoiding eye contact with The Kid.  "And third, it's my turn to pick where we have 
our meetin', right?"
     Havoc took another bite, chewed vigorously, then swallowed hard.  "And whatta ya 
care for?  Ya don't eat this kinda food, and ain't nobody askin' you sit here and 
stare at everyone with yer 'holier than thou' attitude."  The Kid bristled at Havoc's 
response, but Havoc had already returned his attention to his freshly seared meat.  
The Kid's frown deepened; he turned toward the other tables and ignored his companion 
in turn.
     A tall, bearded ruffian left the cart window and advanced to their table.   He 
was carrying a small bundle wrapped in grease-stained newsletters and wore the 
polished leather sandals of a prosperous merchant.  He had no cap or hat to keep back 
the wild mass of dark curly hair that framed his tanned face and hid his neck.  He did 
have on knee-length breeches of bright purple silk, with a yellow satin shirt, open 
half-way down his chest, and a dark woolen vest.  An ivory handle poked out from 
behind the flap of his vest.
     "Ahoy, mates!  Mind if I drop anchor here for a spell?"  The Kid traded a brief 
glance with Havoc, who made a careless wave at the Kid's side of the table.
     "There's room enough," Havoc grunted, returning his attention to his impaled 
meat.  Arcane rolled his eyes, crossed his arms, and found something of interest 
across the street.  He ignored the stranger, who flopped down beside him and eagerly 
began unwrapping his bundle.
     "Aye, this cart be a welcome addition to the offerings seen in Shadowspire!" the 
stranger declared.  A large pan-fried fish, caked with browned and blackened bread 
crumbs, and unidentifiable without its head, lay across the oil-soaked papers.  The 
sailor/merchant made a delicate forceps of his forefingers and thumbs and began 
picking away small chunks of fish.  He made small humming noises of pleasure as he 
popped the fried fish into his mouth.  The Kid sighed.
     Havoc stuffed the last piece of meat into his mouth and, with a deft flick, 
pulled his dagger free from between his teeth without cutting himself.  He seemed 
pleased as he wiped his blade clean and returned it to its sheath.  The Kid sneered.
     Havoc gestured at the cooling mass of congealed cheese covering the 
unidentifiable meat that lay, ignored, in front of The Kid.  "Ya gonna eat that?"
     Arcane made another deep sigh.  He turned his bright eyes to the man next to him 
who, caught off guard, seemed a trifle flustered.
     "What ship are you from?" Arcane asked.
     "Oh, ahoy!" replied the man with a gulp.  "I was thinkin' I might be unwelcome."  
He grinned, dropped his fish, and held out a strong calloused hand, only slightly 
greasy.  The Kid ignored it.
     "I'm Marlin.  I'm a Russa-class trader from the Indomitable, best merchant five-
mast in the Trier Sea!"
     "The Trier Sea?" Arcane shifted so that his body faced the trader.  Havoc's eyes 
roved their periphery.  Marlin glanced at his empty hand with a wry smile and withdrew 
it.  "But Shadowspire borders an inlet bay that enters the Ferencia sea, doesn't it?"
     "Oh, aye," nodded Marlin as he resumed pulling apart his lunch.  "And on the 
other side of the Ferenchan Isles lies the Storm Sea, and ye double the cape to the 
West, and there lies the Trier Sea."  The trader chewed and nodded his head; his thick 
beard ruffled and undulated.  "I know what you're thinkin', that I'm a long, long way 
from home." 
     "Something like that," acknowledged The Kid.
     Marlin chuckled to himself as he attacked the remaining pieces of fish.  He 
shoved them roughly into his mouth, then wiped his fingers and mouth with a small 
corner of dry newsletter.  The Kid stifled a yawn as Marlin took a small folded piece 
of cloth from an inner pocket of his vest and began cleaning the corners of his lips, 
pulling away his beard with one hand as he wiped with the other.
     "You ARE a long way from home." Arcane wove his fingers together gracefully, 
leaned back, and rested a bony knee between his hands.  "What sort of cargo brings you 
so far?" he asked.
     "Huh!"  Marlin dropped his beard, returned the cloth to its pocket, and briefly 
inspected the crumpled, grease-soaked papers that had held his lunch. "Newsletters 
from a place called Noblish?"  He chuckled to himself.  "Is that even anywhere near 
here?" he asked rhetorically.  With a growl the trader crushed the papers together 
into a tight ball.  He offered a quick, tight grin and a wink to The Kid, then tossed 
it under their table.
     He returned his attention to the Kid.  "The usual brick-a-brack, sir. The usual.  
Spices, talismans, scrolls and messages and letters from across Alastari..."  The 
trader made another broad wink; this time he made sure to turn his head to include 
Havoc.
     Havoc shrugged.  Arcane made a vague gesture with his chin, encouraging Marlin to 
continue.  The trader looked puzzled.
     "We've, uh, also had the dubious pleasure of human cargo this trip," he said.
     "Slaves?" Arcane asked.
     "No sir!  (At least, not in THESE waters.)"  Marlin tapped the table lightly 
three times with his forefinger and clicked his teeth.  "More like half-baked 
sorcerers, would-be gladiators, and a few like yourselves, I'm guessin'."
     Marlin looked expectantly at the Kid.  Havoc and Arcane traded a quick glance.  
Marlin grew uneasy.
     "What exactly do you mean by that?" asked Arcane.
     "We ain't the same type o' personality, if ya hadn't noticed," added Havoc.
     "Oh aye, aye, that's true," nodded the trader as he rose from the bench.  He 
wiped his beard again, this time with his hand.  "But ye both be somehow mixed up in 
the gladiator game, I'm guessin'."
     Havoc shrugged again; Arcane nodded with a glum frown.
     "What's it to ya, Spud?" Havoc asked as Marlin began walking away.
     "Those others, you mentioned others..." Arcane tilted his head.  
     "Well, THAT was rude," muttered The Kid.  "I wonder if he was talking about new 
managers coming to Shadowspire.  You know, there's been a slew of rumors lately--"
     "Now don't get yer hopes up," Havoc interjected.  "New blood is nice, but it 
might NOT work in our favor, ya know."
     Arcane waved away his grim expression with a nonchalant gesture.  "Must you 
always cling to the negative?  New managers mean new teams, which mean new 
opportunities for our fighters."
     "There are no new ways to die," muttered Havoc, folding his thick arms across his 
barrel chest.
     "You're not going to let me enjoy this, are you?"
     "No, 'cause it don't matter anyhow," replied Havoc as he slid Arcane's plate 
towards himself.  He pursed his thick lips in a speculative manner, than took out his 
blade again.  After a brief moment of consideration, another knife magically appeared 
in his other hand.
     Arcane extended a modest smile across the table.  "Come now, Havoc.  We've 
enjoyed two free fights in a row.  Perhaps the stars and other cosmic balances of 
power are realigning in our favor," he said.
     "Yeah," Havoc nodded as he sliced a criss-cross pattern in the blink of an eye.  
"And maybe not," he added before stuffing his mouth with a thick chunk of cheese-
drenched meat.  

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

Good day fellow duelers!

As predicted, once again I, Zayla, your Duelmistress is here to give you the lowdown! 
Tristan, you just couldn't take my LS shots, maybe someday you will have what it takes 
to sit on this throne!

After my last column, it would seem, I've had an influx of suitors! I came back to the 
throne room after last weeks fights to find it covered in flowers, chocolates, 
lingerie and a few other strange items!

It would appear that I made a mistake in my last column by saying that I had 
challenged Fast Hack'em on turn 265, when in all actuality, it was my team mate Krow 
who had defeated him. I guess it was just one too many hits to my head!

Until next time!

Zayla  

                                      SPY REPORT

     Good afternoon, duel fans!  Welcome to the city of Shadowspire, where the men are 
manly and the women are, too!  It is I, Huard DePriest, spy reporter extraordinaire, 
with you today for all the great Shadowspire action.  The turn was an exciting one, so 
let's cut the small talk and get into this turn's action. 
     Zayla has been hogging the throne for the last few turns.  She faced off against 
the newly returned Osirus of Clan Longbeard this turn.  Osirus, a wily veteran of many 
fights, showed he had the skill to take the top seat.  He beat Zayla in 2 minutes to 
become our newest Duelmaster.  If memory serves (and it rarely does), Visionist still 
needs a Parry Riposte to join the exclusive Round Robin Society in Shadowspire.  
Osirus may be his ticket in!  Congrats to Osirus and the Clan Longbeard guild. 
     The most avoided team was (drum roll, please)... Big Lake Outcasts.  Who was 
caught avoiding them the most you ask?  Do you really want to know such mundane arena 
tidbits?  Of course you do! Pray the Gods avoided them the most.  I always wonder how 
these two teams fare each turn.  Did being avoided help?  Did avoiding someone give 
some measurable benefit?  Big Lake Outcasts had a 3-2-0-1 turn.  Losing a warrior is a 
bummer, but a winning effort.  Pray the Gods, who happened to be our Top Team on the 
Move, went 4-1-0-0.  Winning turns for both, so there might be something to this being 
feared and avoiding the most.  The most challenged warrior for the turn was Strabo.  
I'm not sure there is much positive spin you can put on that distinction.  People 
challenge because they think they can beat you.  Strabo fought Shem of Pray the Gods 
in a bloodfeud match.  Strabo lost.  Boo hoo! 
     Cult of Bacchus, managed by DeGotti, remains the top team in the land.  DeGotti 
was also able to snag the career top team back from Blackhart, leading by the hair's 
breadth of 0.14859 (yes, I did the math).  Interestingly enough, those wine-bibbers 
over at Cult of Bacchus were the only top 5 team to remain in the top 5 from last 
turn.  Clan Longbeard makes the huge leap from 11th to 2nd, replacing Shanghaied, who 
fell down to 15th (the biggest drop of the turn).  Otto's Diner moves up to 3rd from 
8th, replacing the inactive Warbow. Pray the Gods climbs 9 spots (and tying with Clan 
Longbeard for biggest gain) to 4th.  The former number 4, Inebriation, fell to 12th.  
Last of the top 5, we have The Commodores, who rose by 5 places.  They replaced Darque 
Ages, who fell to 7th. 
     There were 9 deaths this turn, but only 1 on the regular arena sands.  Managers 
were keeping the Dark Arena busy this cycle.  The one regular death belongs to Den and 
his Big Lake Outcasts.  Grim Tickles fought Protest for Hire and he did not live to 
tell the tale!  Will the Big Lakers seek revenge against From the Left?  If I were a 
gambling man (and I totally am), I'd wager Protest for Hire should prepare themselves 
for the next 4 turns!  Oh well, we'll see if my prediction proves true. 
     I must be off.  This blasted rain will not let up!  The sun broke just long 
enough to enjoy the arena fights.  Now I have to trudge through ankle-deep water to 
get back to the SYP offices!  Phineas will give me some condescending joke about my 
kind floating.  Bah, I'm outta here!  I'll see you next time, or you'll be lucky 
enough to see me!

                                          -- Huard DePriest

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 OSIRUS 2016                  23  21  0   111       CLAN LONGBEARD (39)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 KROW 2504                    25  15  0   109       CULT OF BACCHUS (4)
 FAST HACK 'EM 9 2653         16  13  0   106       THE COMMODORES (150)
 JANNA 2581                   18  16  1    96       PRAY THE GODS (155)
 ZAYLA 2695                   15   7  0    96       CULT OF BACCHUS (4)
 STORMCLAW 2569               18  14  1    94       DRAGONBANE GUILD (13)
 CLARA D'ANDUZA 2780          13   3  0    93       DARQUE AGES (29)
 TRISTAN 2669                 12  10  1    93       DRAGONBANE GUILD (13)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SHEM 2719                    10  11  2    90       PRAY THE GODS (155)
 MUTANT CAMEL 2678            16  11  0    88       THE COMMODORES (150)
 PLAN COLUMBIA 1612           19  21  1    86       THE MONSANTIS (112)
 DRAGON SCARRED 2644          17   7  0    78       DRAGONBANE GUILD (13)
 LUXLORD BLACK 2608           14  20  2    76       BIG LAKE OUTCASTS (19)
 TWO-TON TIMMONS 2578         20  15  0    75       SHANGHAIED (161)
-KNIFEFIST 2714                9  10  0    75       WARBOW (170)
 STRABO 2689                  15  10  0    73       DARQUE AGES (29)
 HORRID 2659                  15  13  0    72       WICKED MARTYRS (148)
 BARSTOOL BRAD 2706           13  10  1    72       INEBRIATION (27)
 ECLIPSE 2565                 17  11  0    70       SEARCH THE SKY (136)
 SCHENDLE 2596                17  14  3    68       PRAY THE GODS (155)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 NEETA 2702                   11  11  0    66       PRAY THE GODS (155)
 AGENT ORANGE 2762            10   5  3    66       THE MONSANTIS (112)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BLYTHE 2829                   7   2  1    66       CULT OF BACCHUS (4)
 POWDER MONKEY 2683           14  10  1    62       SHANGHAIED (161)
 BRACKISH 2782                 8   8  0    61       WICKED MARTYRS (148)
-DEATH DOG 2849                5   1  1    61       WARBOW (170)
 MISFORTUNE COOKIE 2783        9   6  0    60       OTTO'S DINER (96)
-STORMGIRL 2712                6  13  0    60       WARBOW (170)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 JET-BOOT JACK 2741           14   4  0    54       THE COMMODORES (150)
 SONNY CROQUETTE 2799          8   4  0    52       OTTO'S DINER (96)
 MELLOW JELLO 2784            12   3  0    51       OTTO'S DINER (96)
 ASPIRE 2B GREAT 2750          7  10  0    48       BIG LAKE OUTCASTS (19)
 PSYCHO STYX 2771              8   9  1    45       KILL EM ALL (173)
 DESTINY 2703                 10  13  0    44       WICKED MARTYRS (148)
 THYME LORD 2752               9   8  0    44       OTTO'S DINER (96)
 HYDRA 2753                    6   7  0    44       MONSTER MANUAL (87)
 PLUG-IN CAR 2588              9   3  0    43       FROM THE LEFT (166)
 BLOODLUST 2769                6  11  2    43       KILL EM ALL (173)
 PAVIL 2270                    9   5  0    42       CLAN LONGBEARD (39)
 FEAR MONGER 2590              6   5  0    38       FROM THE LEFT (166)
 CHOKE 2767                    9   8  0    35       KILL EM ALL (173)
 ORLANDO 2688                  8  10  0    35       DRAGONBANE GUILD (13)
 WYRM CRUSHER 2814             4   3  0    34       DRAGONBANE GUILD (13)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MALAKAI 2768                  8   9  0    33       KILL EM ALL (173)
-HALFBUCK 2710                 7  12  0    33       WARBOW (170)
 ALPACA SWEATER 2585           7   5  0    33       FROM THE LEFT (166)
 TOM COLLINS 2790              5  10  1    32       INEBRIATION (27)
 SLAYCIA 2850                  2   5  1    31       CULT OF BACCHUS (4)
 SUBPAR SUE 2812               7   5  0    29       WICKED MARTYRS (148)
 QUICK FINGERS 2837            6   3  0    29       BIG LAKE OUTCASTS (19)
 VIDHI 2840                    3   3  1    29       PRAY THE GODS (155)
 FERDOWSI 2867                 2   2  0    29       DARQUE AGES (29)
-TIGERLILY 2614                3   3  0    26       DOOM BRIGADE (158)
-STARSMILE 2731                4  13  0    25       WARBOW (170)
 SPHINX 2755                   5   8  1    24       MONSTER MANUAL (87)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SILENT SPRING 2825            4   4  0    23       THE MONSANTIS (112)
-ANDROMEDA 2605                3   4  0    23       DOOM BRIGADE (158)
 THOK FOLDTEETH 2866           3   2  0    23       BIG LAKE OUTCASTS (19)
 MIGHTY MIXON 2870             3   0  0    23       CULT OF BACCHUS (4)
 THREE SHEETS 2869             2   2  1    23       SHANGHAIED (161)
-RAVENSTRIKE 2604              4   4  0    22       DOOM BRIGADE (158)
-HARE DOWNER 2843              3   0  0    21       FURRY FURY (25)
 TOMORROWLAND 2841             5   3  0    20       THE MONSANTIS (112)
 PROTEST FOR HIRE 2597         3   7  1    20       FROM THE LEFT (166)
 PALE AL 2839                  2   7  0    20       INEBRIATION (27)
 NO-TEETH KEITH 2852           4   3  1    18       SHANGHAIED (161)
 WHING 2890                    2   0  0    17       CLAN LONGBEARD (39)
 SIR RACHA 2853                3   2  0    16       OTTO'S DINER (96)
 VELOX DOCIS 2873              1   3  0    14       SEARCH THE SKY (136)
 SRI PONNA 2874                1   2  0    12       DARQUE AGES (29)
 RED DOG 2878                  2   1  0    10       INEBRIATION (27)
 FERRO CHAOS 2884              2   1  0     9       SEARCH THE SKY (136)
 STAR STREAK 2872              2   2  0     8       SEARCH THE SKY (136)
 PIERCER 2854                  1   2  0     7       MONSTER MANUAL (87)
 ZURRAY 2892                   1   1  0     4       CLAN LONGBEARD (39)
 BUCKTOOTH RUTH 2893           0   2  0     4       SHANGHAIED (161)
 HAMM 2879                     0   3  0     3       INEBRIATION (27)
 TARLEE 2891                   0   2  0     2       CLAN LONGBEARD (39)
 GRAB N STAB 2901              0   1  0     1       THE MONSANTIS (112)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ORIN SCRIVELLO 2899           0   1  0     1       KILL EM ALL (173)
-MEATCAKE 2686                 0   1  0     1       DOOM BRIGADE (158)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
GRIM TICKLES 2838       2  7 0 BIG LAKE OUTCASTS 19 PROTEST FOR HIRE 2597 268   
COMGALL 2868            0  1 0 DARQUE AGES 29       THREE SHEETS 2869     265  JUST REVENGED
EMO SERF 2900           0  1 0 DARQUE AGES 29       WURM KIN              268  NONE
LUIPADA 2721           11  6 2 DARQUE AGES 29       SHEM 2719             264  REVENGED
SOCIAL JUSTICE 2626     3  5 0 FROM THE LEFT 166    HIGH ELF              268  NONE
MUD A 2902              0  1 0 FURRY FURY 25        HIGH ELF              268  NONE
MUD B 2903              0  1 0 FURRY FURY 25        WURM KIN              268  NONE
GOTTERDAMMERUNG 2787   11  3 0 KILL EM ALL 173      DEATH DOG 2849        267   
GAS SPORE 2807          3  5 0 MONSTER MANUAL 87    SPYMASTER             268  NONE
HILL GIANT 2694         7 13 0 MONSTER MANUAL 87    STONE GOLEM           268  NONE
CELESTIO 2801           5  7 0 SEARCH THE SKY 136   BANDIT PRINCE         268  NONE
MALLEOS PRIMUS 2764     6  6 0 SEARCH THE SKY 136   POWDER MONKEY 2683    264  REVENGED
STELLA MORTEM 2864      1  1 0 SEARCH THE SKY 136   NO-TEETH KEITH 2852   265  REVENGED
SAMMY LIGHTFOOT 2834    6  3 0 THE COMMODORES 150   BLYTHE 2829           267  JUST REVENGED
SON OF BLAGGER 2793     7  6 0 THE COMMODORES 150   BLACK ORC             268  NONE

                                     PERSONAL ADS

All -- Gotterdammerung:  12(+1)-14(+1)-8-9-17-9-17 Expert Parry, Good Endurance, Good 
Damage.  My only regret is that he never matched up with Mello Jello.  I always 
wondered who had the better scum, but there were too many other delicious targets every turn. -- Weirdo 

All -- If I may interject...  I understand that there is a very human element to this 
game and sometimes a mistake is made and a warrior doesn't run.  I get that.  But, 
when someone deliberately doesn't run their full five it shows poor form.  It is 
neither in the spirit of the arena, nor is it fair to the rest of us that follow the 
rules and run our full five EVERY turn.  RSI shouldn't have to babysit this arena, but 
they probably should.  If you don't send in orders for five warriors in a no-tourney 
arena your team shouldn't run at all.  I'd like to admonish each and every one of you 
to cut out this nonsense, run your full five, and stop treating the rules of this 
arena like a suggestion. -- Weirdo

Janna -- You seem to be focused on my groinal area.  Now, normally I go for that in a 
big way, but I think you're playing just a bit too rough for my tastes.  Maybe we 
should have a safe word next time. -- Miss Fortune Cookie

Barstool Brad -- That went quicker than I thought it would. -- Osirus

Destiny -- Thanks for the tutoring and the win. -- Pavel

Red Dog -- Thought I had you, well fought. -- Tarlee

Strabo -- Keep 'em coming, big boy!  Ol' Loopy looked good squealing on the end of my 
weapon!  Ouieeeeeee!  Ouieeeeeee! -- Shem

Misfortune Wafer -- Good thing you pulled the nads back up, I almost got them again.  
And, by the way, you're welcome. -- Janna

Not So Quick Fingers -- An ample reflection of your manager with your deer-in-the-
headlights look before you fall down and beg me not to kill you.  Waste of my time. -- 
Neeta

Asspire 2B Meat -- That was funny, your pathetic attempt to scum someone else from 
this team.  Oopsie!  If I were you, I'd look over your shoulder for Vidhi. -- Schendle

Dense -- HA!  Let me read that back to you so that you, too, can savor the irony of 
what you just said.  Irony so thick, I might add, that you could cut it with Asspire's 
scimitar (though, of course, he couldn't).  YOU are wailing about another manager not 
playing with a moral compass.  You, the Dumas of the Down Challenge.  The Lackey of 
Lowblow.  The Epitome of "Pity me!".  Pot, meet Kettle.  You hypocritical self-
righteous vomitous mass.  With all your wailing, I'm glad to see I have struck a chord 
and, when I have the chance, I'll strike it again.  Have a nice day, fopdoodle. -- 
Vlad  
P.S. Good luck in the tourney!

Den -- Look what you did now!  You went and made the Commission post the tourney rules 
of the arena with your rant in the PA's last turn! -- DeGotti

Hombre -- Condolences on Sammy Lightfoot!  Blythe is performing better than I could 
have predicted! -- DeGotti

Blackhart -- It was Commission shenanigans that caused Krow to miss the turn! -- 
DeGotti

     Shenanigans?  Pfui.  When your 5's look like 6's, they sometimes get entered as 
     6's.  That one's at least half yours, Mr. DeGotti. -- Comm. Slave #74
     P.S.  Ravenstrike told me your strategy was the pits. 

Social Justice -- You had everything in your favor, style match-up and FE yet you 
couldn't do the job!  Injustice has been served! -- Mighty Mixon

Stormgirl -- Stormy, do you like me? -- Eclipse

Ferdowski -- That was interesting.  I like learning something, and you taught well. -- 
Star Streak

Subpar Sue -- Is your nervous system even intact?! -- Velox Docis

Ambitious Guard -- Having someone slip me something in a drink?!  That's so *low*. -- 
Celestio

Bucktooth Ruth -- You had nothing to smile about anyway, girl. -- Ferro Chaos

Den -- There was an awful long response when, "I suck" would have sufficed.  The 
thesaurus is really helping out. -- Master Darque
 

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

CELESTIO was butchered by BANDIT PRINCE in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
HILL GIANT was dealt death by STONE GOLEM in a exciting 2 minute Dark Arena duel.
SON OF BLAGGER was murdered by BLACK ORC in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
GAS SPORE was slaughtered by SPYMASTER in a crowd pleasing 1 minute Dark Arena brawl.
SOCIAL JUSTICE was assassinated by HIGH ELF in a 1 minute Dark Arena match.
EMO SERF was slaughtered by WURM KIN in a 2 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
MUD A was executed by HIGH ELF in a 1 minute Dark Arena brawl.
MUD B was easily killed by WURM KIN in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
STRABO was handily defeated by SHEM in a 1 minute uneven Bloodfeud melee.
CLARA D'ANDUZA vanquished THREE SHEETS in a 2 minute one-sided Bloodfeud duel.
FAST HACK 'EM 9 vanquished BLYTHE in a 1 minute one-sided Bloodfeud fight.
OSIRUS beat ZAYLA in a 2 minute veteran's Challenge Title melee.
TRISTAN was defeated by KROW in a 2 minute veteran's Challenge match.
MUTANT CAMEL unbelievably bested LUXLORD BLACK in a 3 minute Challenge conflict.
STORMCLAW devastated TWO-TON TIMMONS in a 3 minute bloody mismatched Challenge bout.
BARSTOOL BRAD defeated BRACKISH in a 2 minute Challenge duel.
MELLOW JELLO luckily beat PSYCHO STYX in a action packed 3 minute Challenge struggle.
NEETA handily defeated THYME LORD in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge bout.
SONNY CROQUETTE devastated TOM COLLINS in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge brawl.
CHOKE beat BUCKTOOTH RUTH in a 1 minute veteran vs. novice Challenge match.
FEAR MONGER overpowered RED DOG in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
MALAKAI was devastated by SLAYCIA in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge contest.
PALE AL was luckily beaten by SUBPAR SUE in a exciting 4 minute gory Challenge duel.
SIR RACHA was overcome by QUICK FINGERS in a action packed 1 minute Challenge duel.
THOK FOLDTEETH devastated ZURRAY in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
SRI PONNA overpowered HAMM in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
MIGHTY MIXON beat VELOX DOCIS in a 3 minute beginner's Challenge fight.
ECLIPSE was savagely defeated by JANNA in a action packed 3 minute veteran's bout.
PLAN COLUMBIA vanquished MISFORTUNE COOKIE in a 1 minute one-sided fray.
HORRID was unbelievably bested by DRAGON SCARRED in a 3 minute master's bout.
SCHENDLE defeated DESTINY in a 2 minute expert's fight.
JET-BOOT JACK was overcome by AGENT ORANGE in a 2 minute fight.
PLUG-IN CAR savagely defeated VIDHI in a popular 2 minute gory match.
ASPIRE 2B GREAT outlasted ORLANDO in a 7 minute bout.
SILENT SPRING was overpowered by HYDRA in a 1 minute one-sided fray.
PAVIL bested FERDOWSI in a exciting 4 minute veteran vs. amateur duel.
BLOODLUST was demolished by POWDER MONKEY in a 1 minute one-sided struggle.
WYRM CRUSHER unbelievably bested TOMORROWLAND in a exciting 1 minute brutal fight.
PROTEST FOR HIRE viciously butchered GRIM TICKLES in a 1 minute gruesome match.
NO-TEETH KEITH luckily beat STAR STREAK in a 2 minute gruesome bout.
ALPACA SWEATER overpowered SPHINX in a 1 minute one-sided competition.
PIERCER overcame TARLEE in a popular 1 minute novice's duel.
FERRO CHAOS subdued GRAB N STAB in a 2 minute beginner's duel.
WHING bested ORIN SCRIVELLO in a action packed 1 minute amateur's match.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|BASHING ATTACK                  14         TOTAL PARRY       64 -  45 -  0      59  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                  13         PARRY-RIPOSTE     27 -  20 -  0      57  |
|TOTAL PARRY                     10         AIMED BLOW        43 -  43 -  2      50  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  9         BASHING ATTACK    68 -  71 -  5      49  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    8         LUNGING ATTACK    53 -  61 -  2      46  |
|AIMED BLOW                       8         WALL OF STEEL     27 -  32 -  2      46  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      7         PARRY-STRIKE      10 -  12 -  1      45  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    5         SLASHING ATTACK   19 -  25 -  0      43  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  4         PARRY-LUNGE       25 -  37 -  2      40  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     2         STRIKING ATTACK   24 -  44 -  0      35  |

Turn 268 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-RIPOSTE      5 -  0     LUNGING ATTACK     6 -  7         4  PARRY-RIPOSTE  
TOTAL PARRY        6 -  4     PARRY-LUNGE        3 -  4         2  STRIKING ATTACK
PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  1     AIMED BLOW         3 -  5         1  WALL OF STEEL  
WALL OF STEEL      4 -  4     BASHING ATTACK     5 -  9         1  LUNGING ATTACK 
                              SLASHING ATTACK    1 -  3         1  AIMED BLOW     
                              STRIKING ATTACK    2 -  7         1  PARRY-LUNGE    
                                                                1  TOTAL PARRY    

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
PARRY-RIPOSTE    OSIRUS 2016                23  21  0  111 CLAN LONGBEARD (39)
WALL OF STEEL    KROW 2504                  25  15  0  109 CULT OF BACCHUS (4)
STRIKING ATTACK  FAST HACK 'EM 9 2653       16  13  0  106 THE COMMODORES (150)
LUNGING ATTACK   JANNA 2581                 18  16  1   96 PRAY THE GODS (155)
AIMED BLOW       TRISTAN 2669               12  10  1   93 DRAGONBANE GUILD (13)
TOTAL PARRY      MUTANT CAMEL 2678          16  11  0   88 THE COMMODORES (150)
PARRY-LUNGE      STRABO 2689                15  10  0   73 DARQUE AGES (29)
BASHING ATTACK   AGENT ORANGE 2762          10   5  3   66 THE MONSANTIS (112)

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is JANNA 2581.  The most popular warrior this turn was 
LUXLORD BLACK 2608.  The ten other most popular fighters were JANNA 2581, HORRID 
2659, PALE AL 2839, HILL GIANT 2694, PSYCHO STYX 2771, PLUG-IN CAR 2588, FERDOWSI 
2867, SCHENDLE 2596, AGENT ORANGE 2762, and ORLANDO 2688.

The least popular fighter this week was SPHINX 2755.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were GRIM TICKLES 2838, BLOODLUST 2769, SILENT SPRING 2825, ASPIRE 2B GREAT 
2750, JET-BOOT JACK 2741, MISFORTUNE COOKIE 2783, HAMM 2879, ZURRAY 2892, MALAKAI 
2768, and BUCKTOOTH RUTH 2893.