Date   : 07/05/2017    Duedate: 07/18/2017


DM-81    TURN-271

This Weeks Top Honors


(81-2829) [8-4-2,90]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

SHEM                           DIFFICULT
PRAY THE GODS (155)            BIG LAKE SOLUTION (178)
(81-2719) [13-11-2,108]        (81-2924) [1-0-0,19]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

JANNA                          MODUIN
PRAY THE GODS (155)            DARQUE AGES (29)
(81-2581) [20-17-1,100]        (81-2909) [2-1-0,11]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. BIG LAKE SOLUTION (178)     46
2. MONSTER MANUAL (87)         35      SHANGHAIED (161)
3. THE MONSANTIS (112)         34      Unchartered Team
4. DARQUE AGES (29)            33
5. PRAY THE GODS (155)         32      BIG LAKE SOLUTION (178)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 0*BIG LAKE SOLUTION (178)    3   2  0 60.0   1/ 1 PRAY THE GODS (155)      13  2 0
 2/ 1 SHANGHAIED (161)         131  99  6 57.0   2/ 7 DARQUE AGES (29)          9  6 0
 3/ 2 CULT OF BACCHUS (4)      523 405 18 56.4   3/ 3 SHANGHAIED (161)          9  6 0
 4- 3 DRAGONBANE GUILD (13)    702 594 19 54.2   4/ 6 OTTO'S DINER (96)         8  7 0
 5/ 4 DARQUE AGES (29)         593 519 21 53.3   5/ 8 SEARCH THE SKY (136)      8  7 0
 6/ 5 WICKED MARTYRS (148)     239 213 10 52.9   6/ 4 THE COMMODORES (150)      8  7 0
 7/ 6 OTTO'S DINER (96)        534 495 26 51.9   7/ 9 THE MONSANTIS (112)       7  3 0
 8/ 8 CLAN LONGBEARD (39)      543 515 21 51.3   8/ 5 CLAN LONGBEARD (39)       7  8 0
 9/ 9 THE COMMODORES (150)     208 198  6 51.2   9/10 WICKED MARTYRS (148)      7  8 0
10-10 FURRY FURY (25)          436 445 21 49.5  10/ 2 FROM THE LEFT (166)       7  8 0
11/ 7 FROM THE LEFT (166)       37  38  2 49.3  11/11 KILL EM ALL (173)         7  8 0
12/11 KILL EM ALL (173)         49  51  3 49.0  12/12 MONSTER MANUAL (87)       5  8 0
13/13 PRAY THE GODS (155)      138 150 11 47.9  13/ 0 INEBRIATION (27)          4 11 0
14/12 THE MONSANTIS (112)      149 162 13 47.9  14/ 0*BIG LAKE SOLUTION (178)   3  2 0
15/14 MONSTER MANUAL (87)      463 565 18 45.0  15/15 CULT OF BACCHUS (4)       3 11 1
16/16 SEARCH THE SKY (136)     186 262  9 41.5  16-14 DRAGONBANE GUILD (13)     1  4 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
17/ 0 INEBRIATION (27)         162 254 13 38.9  17-17 FURRY FURY (25)           0  2 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

                                More Night-Time Drama 	

     The guards who kept the two gates under surveillance during the night games were 
rude.  They gave off a rancid odor as well, and their ringmail was tarnished and 
showed other signs of neglect.  Swaggering (half-staggering) along the walkways and 
gates, they often paused to take an aggressive stance so as to brandish their naked 
shortswords at anyone who lingered on the walkways or who was foolish enough to make 
eye contact.  In the darkness of night, even with the eerie uncertainty of torch and 
lamp light, their blades were surprisingly polished and bright; a keen edge was 
clearly discernible. 	
     "Hold on there, you two!  Where's yer passes?!" 
     A burly figure in a knee-length hauberk of thick, interlocking rings materialized 
at the base of the stairs leading up to one of the corner booths.  A slim form draped 
in a voluminous blue cloak stood slightly behind; a billowy hood hid the features 
underneath, but a pair of glowing eyes shone out clearly in the darkness. 
     The guard flinched. "Oh, sorry Kid.  Didn't know it was you." 	
     The cloaked figure appeared to float past the thickset warrior in front.  It 
paused in front of the guard, who took an involuntary half-step backward.  The Kid 
chuckled as the guard made a weak, rigid gesture with his blade, a caricature of a 
     "I showed my pass at the night gate,"
     Arcane said.  "Must you ruffians harass me at every juncture?"
     "Uh, sorry.  Just doing our job," grumbled the guard, regaining his poise.  He 
made a flourish in the air with his blade and stepped aside.  Accordingly, the pair of 
guards behind him shuffled back and allowed the pair a wide berth as they strode past.  
The two drifted up the steep stairs, silent as a cloud or mist, then disappeared into 
the inky shadows of The Kid's private booth.  
     "I realize that everybody is economizing of late," Arcane murmured,  "but I feel 
compelled to complain about the quality of the nighttime security." 	
     "Like that'll do any good!" Havoc snorted as he reached for a tankard and pitcher 
set out on a small table crammed into a corner of the dark stall.  "They ain't pretty, 
but ya get what ya pay for, I guess," he muttered.  "Since they charge half-price for 
night admission, whatta ya expect?." 	
     The Kid's reply was drowned out as an ear-piercing fanfare resounded from below.  
Raucous catcalls stabbed through the dark, smoky air and chased a group of gladiators 
across the sands as they shambled out of a small metal door beneath them.  The 
gladiators lined up, shoulder-to-shoulder, and peered up at the Duelmaster sitting in 
his large wooden throne above them.
     The Duelmaster, in turn, regarded the gladiators solemnly.  A plump blonde wench, 
her garish toga straining to stay put on her stout body, perched drunkenly on his knee 
and blew sloppy kisses to the fighters below. 
     "This business with the tavern girls is obnoxious," Arcane said with a prim edge 
to his voice.  "I appreciate that the Duelmaster wishes to act the part of the 'Alpha 
Male', but really..." 	
     "If it ain't broke, don't fix it," growled Havoc.  
     The gladiators shifted their weight, awkward and self-conscious.  The Night Games 
Orator used a large megaphone to announce their names and respective stables.  The 
unending catcalls from the raucous crowd were shrill and loud. 
     Once the orator was finished he quit the sands and a pair of gray-robed priests 
stepped into the arena.  Their faces hidden within the shadows of cavernous hoods, 
they circled the gladiators while swinging smoking bronze censers held by sturdy black 
ropes of twined hair.  Their pace was slow but steady, keeping rhythm with solemn 
chanting in a meaningless tongue. 	
     "This reminds me.  Did you bother to check on Velox's check-out paperwork?" 	
     "Kid, I know how to do my job."  
     Arcane threw a sidelong frown at Havoc.
     "I simply wish to ensure that we attempt to comply with his 'last wishes'."  The 
Kid waved a pale, slender hand in the dark booth. "It's the least we can do." 	
     "Huh," grunted Havoc.  "The very least."  He swished his tankard in the general 
direction of the stands around them.  "But who knows? He might surprise ya." 
     Arcane shook his head in irritation and folded his hands inside his robe. 	
     "Not likely.  Have you had a chance to check with the committee regarding his 
     "Naw.  But I an't worried about it."  Havoc paused to refill his tankard from the 
     "It ain't like they're ever goin' to run out of cannon fodder." 
     After circling the fighters three times, the priests raised their censors towards 
the bleachers.  They shook their censors with a roaring shout, which most of the 
audience echoed.  Then the priests half stalked, half swaggered across the arena and 
disappeared through their small, iron door in the wall beneath the Duelmaster's chair. 	
     "These little traditions irk me," The Kid muttered.  
     Havoc chuckled in reply. "Just scarin' away any evil spirits that might still be 
lingerin' around," grinned Havoc.  "Plus, it's a good way to signal the start of the 
     "Did you wager on any of the fighters tonight?"	
     "Naw.  Well--" Havoc shifted uneasily in his seat.  "I put a few coins on Velox.  
Just in case."	
     "Hey, at twenty to one, I don't see the harm."	
     Arcane shook his narrow head, causing his hood to rustle.  "No, of course you 
don't.  Well, it's your money."	
     Havoc's reply was drowned out by a brief fanfare as the first fight of the night 
was announced.  A few shrill screams punctuated the general caterwauling.
     The warm, humid air mingled with the smells from the freshly-raked wet sand, the 
tar-streaked torches, the lingering incense of the priests, and the bestial odors from 
the crowd. 	
     Havoc drained the tankard and set it back on the table.  "Ya wanted that 
inventory of the armory..."	
     Arcane's robe shifted as he shrugged his slender shoulders.  "And?"	
     "Yeah," Havoc frowned.  "Well, it turns out there ain't been any REAL inventory 
done in quite a while." 	
     Havoc made a deep sigh and turned a mournful face at the empty tankard. "It's 
probably 'cause we never had any gladiator stickin' around long enough to do the job 
right.  I mean, besides Eclipse."
     "You're not going to...?" 
     "Naw, Kid," muttered Havoc.  "We still gotta remind him of which weapon to take 
out there!"	
     "I'm concerned with the fact that we seem to be missing many pieces of armor, and 
our surplus of bashing weapons has been depleted as well," frowned Arcane, his thin 
brows furrowing together. 
     "Yeah, well, I checked on the pawn brokers and resale shops like ya asked..."	 
     The Arcane Kid sneered.  "I'll bet you know them on a first-name basis." 
     "Yeah.  So what?"	
     Arcane shook his head. "Whatever." 	
     "Anyways, it seems like Vlad has been sellin' a lot of stuff lately." 
     Arcane swung a his bright gaze into Havoc's smiling eyes. "That would explain him 
being at The Acropolis."  Havoc nodded.  "What sort of gear is he trying to unload?" 
     "Nothin' unusual, just a lot of it," replied Havoc with a dry chuckle.  "The 
thing is, Nomad has been buyin' up a lot o' his crap." 	
     Arcane began to turn in his chair so as to face Havoc fully, but he paused as a 
deafening cheer shook the night air. 	
     "That guy didn't last long," observed Havoc.  He studied the Kid as he watched 
Spymaster walking away from the body, flexing his epee in a nonchalant fashion.  "I 
wonder if the next guy's worth bettin' on?"
     Arcane glowered into Havoc's sardonic smile.  "Let's stick to business, shall 
     "Well, whatta ya want?  All I can find out is that Nomad's buyin' and Vlad's 
sellin', but they ain't the only ones hittin' the pawn shops, ya know.  And besides 
that, a lotta managers are floatin' around right now.  It's hard to keep track of 'em 
when they're usin' the summer weather as an excuse to take trips all over Alastari!"
     Arcane raised a white fist into the dark air and smashed it down into his other 
palm.  "Havoc, I need to know if there's a thief in our organization!" 	
     "Yeah.  Well, I've been askin' around, Kid, but it's hard to come up with any 
real patterns.  Like, Kill 'em All has a habit o' pawning their stuff, but they 
usually buy it back.  Nobody I know of has been just sellin' and lettin' stuff go." 
     The Arcane Kid sank in his seat and drew his robe tighter around his slender 
body.  "That does not bode well," he whispered. 	
     "Yeah.  Seems we probably have a thief," Havoc nodded.  	
     "Thank you, Captain Obvious.  Insightful, but not helpful." 
     "Well, Bobbi was talkin' about sending over some guy she knows who used to work 
with Otto and Master Darque.  Some sort o' private errand boy, but I said--" 	
     "Don't you DARE!" Arcane snarled.  "Havoc, I insist that you keep that woman out 
of our business!"	
     "Yeah, yeah! I hear ya!"  Havoc growled.  "Anyways, I'm pretty sure Master Darque 
ain't involved.  He's been involved with some tourney in another arena, and takin' his 
own little joyrides around Alastari."
     "Well, that's good," nodded Arcane uncertainly. 
     "Yeah.  Relax, Kid.  We'll get to the bottom of it sooner or later." 	
     "Yes, I suppose you're correct..." mused Arcane.  He glanced up as the last 
gladiator of the night was hurled against the wall.  The fighter was obviously a Total 
Parry, heavily armored and clenching a battered shield in each hand.  The bleachers 
shook as the fans screamed in delight. The giant lumbered towards his prey, a broken-
toothed sneer spread across his broad face. 	
     "Another scum that ain't workin' out," Havoc snorted.  "We got too many of 'em in 
Shadowspire, anyways." 	
     "I wonder -- our fighter is next.  Is it too late to place a wager on Velox?"
     Havoc rolled his eyes as the giant's maul smashed into the plated head of the TP.  
His head, crushed like a grape, spurted blood and bone fragments across the sands.  
The fighter's body flopped onto the bloody sands to the roaring glee of the crowd. 
     "That's kinda sick," Havoc muttered with a gesture.  "Yer worse than them!"  


     Bandor the Pure read the dispatch from Shadowspire and shook his head in 
disbelief.  Being the Intelligence Officer for the mighty Allied Axis he was privy to 
all things arena related, and several things not arena related.  He knew that Den and 
Bill would want to know about this failure immediately so he grabbed all the notes and 
burst into action.  He knew his way around Greywand's Gift very well and also knew he 
would probably find Den and Bill in the famed Allied Axis Conference Room.  Seeing the 
door in front of him he picked up his pace and moved through the door in a single 
fluid movement, thus committing his first error of the day.
     As Bandor entered he was suddenly and unexpectedly struck from both the top and 
the bottom.  Den and Bill hearing him approach had quickly moved into position and 
while Den hit him high, Bill hit him low.  Bandor spun a full turn and landed head 
first on the floor and before he could react was quickly incapacitated.  Den used his 
famous three-finger-dead-lock on him while Bill applied his signature reverse-knee-
bend-with-toe-pull.  Bandor screamed in agony but knowing the fault lay with him could 
do nothing but take the punishment.  He well understood that the Chief Justice and 
High Priest require all to knock and be granted permission before entering.  In his 
haste, this was forgotten.  He apologized profusely and was finally granted the 
audience that he so needed.
     "Well, I just received egregious news from Shadowspire," Bandor explained as he 
was careful not to make eye contact with Bill, still remembering how that worked out 
for him last time.
     "Spit it out," Den replied a look of irritation.
     "Well, it seems our team there the Big Lake Outcasts were able to perform the 
impossible.  But, this was not the good impossible, but the bad impossible.  Something 
so incredibly horrible that there is not a manager in Alastari that thought this was 
even possible.  That team somehow lost three fights to Womanta," Bandor said with a 
look of disbelief.
     "Huh?  This cannot be.  A team of Embezzling Scribes could go 3-2 consistently 
against Womanta, everyone knows she is the worse manager in the game.  Is this 
information accurate or is the Inner Circle playing some kind of game with us?" Den 
     "Well, this comes directly to me through my channels which verify everything with 
the Arenamaster before reporting to me," Bandor answered.
     Den shook his head, while Bill kept trying to get Bandor to make eye contact with 
him.  "There is no way we can let this disgrace go unpunished.  We must set the 
example for the other teams.  I want that team removed.  Kill the warriors and remove 
the team from the team listing.  Shame their names, they will never be spoken here 
again, find their families and shame them.  Let Alastari know that the Allied Axis 
will not tolerate embarrassment on this grand of a scale.  The team doesn't exist that 
should lose three to Womanta in several turns, much less in a single turn.  What do we 
have in the training program to take the place of these embarrassments?" Den directed.
     "Well, I think I have exactly what we need to put this sad story to bed.  I have 
five recruits that are performing admirably well and would love to compete in 
Shadowspire.  They are well aware of the history of that arena and would love the 
opportunity to fight in the only true pure arena left." 
     Den listened while his fingers rubbed his chin, appreciating that Bandor was 
putting a plan together.  They didn't put him charge of the intelligence services for 
the entire alliance for no reason.  "That sounds like a perfect solution to our little 
problem.  And this time Bandor, I want a team where all five original members are sent 
to the Isle, you have yet to make that happen for me.  We promised to support 
Shadowspire when the idea was first voiced by Doc LeGrande and we shall continue to 
support this arena.  I want the new Big Lake Solution to be fighting next turn.  Get 
them ready and get them in transit, and remember, all five graduate, I don't want any 
replacements until that happens." 
     Bandor nodded his understanding and quickly left, he had much work to do.  
Graduating all five original members of a team is a feat very few managers have ever 
accomplished, but he knew that the Allied Axis could achieve anything.
     Den and Bill turned and walked back to the conference table to finish the matter 
that was at hand before Bandor had interrupted them.
     "So, now that Shadowthrone has passed the background check we need to introduce 
him to the other members of the alliance and bring him up to speed regarding all the 
managers that we hate," Bill stated calmly as they walked.
     "What post did you put him in Bill?" Den asked.
     "Exactly where we need him," Bill answered, "as Director of Torment."


                                Vlad Through the Ages
            Brought to you by the intelligence services at AA Headquarters

June 15, 1215

King John paced back and forth, the barons had put him into a very difficult position, 
but he knew there must be a way out.  He screamed at his Regent as he held the Great 
Charter above his head.  "Sire, I think I have an idea, instead of you signing the 
document, why don't we have Vlad sign it, everyone knows his signature doesn't mean 
anything."  And thus it was, the most important document in history had no value and 
eventually led to the downfall of King John, all because Vlad has no integrity.

September 1780

Benedict Arnold sat across from Vlad, nodding his head in understanding.  He was 
looking for a way out of his situation and finally found the man that could help him.  
Vlad had explained that you can promise anything, sign anything, and do anything as 
long as you don't have to worry about the burden of honesty and integrity.  Finally, 
Benedict found a man that he could admire.

April 11th, 1814

Napoleon was ruined, his army was no longer his, his nation was no longer his, and 
what was his was going to be in Elba.  He followed Vlad down the hall, until they were 
stopped by royal clerk.  "I just need a signature that says Napoleon will never return 
to France," they were asked.  Vlad quickly signed the document to the chuckling of 
Napoleon who was already scheming to come back now that he knew Vlad's signature would 
not stand in the way, after all, everyone knew that meant nothing.

May 12th, 1985

Young Vlad giggled has he put the stickers on the Columbia House Record & Tape Club 
ad.  He was picking out some of the finest Betamax movies available.  He knew that the 
VHS format was challenging Betamax but he also knew it was the superior format and 
thus he chose that direction.  He quickly filled out the order contract and without 
even thinking signed his name guaranteeing he would buy eight move movies over the 
next year.  Yeah, like he had any intention of doing that, they should know his 
signature was not worth anything.

December 17th, 1985

Ricky hated his job at the Shuttle O-Ring factory.  The O-rings that were coming off 
the line were garbage, but they needed to get them out and shipped to NASA.  The 
shipping clerk asked him to sign the quality control paperwork noting that the O-rings 
were up to specs.  Ricky knew better, these O-rings were junk.  He did what anyone 
would do, he told the clerk to have Vlad sign off on it, everyone knew his signature 
meant less than nothing. 

August 21st, 1987

Vlad finally had to admit that VHS was here to stay and he put his Betamax movies in 
the milk crate that held his bed up.  He quickly filled out another order form for the 
Columbia House Record & Tape Club, this time choosing all VHS movies.  Once again, he 
signed the pledge, but didn't even blink, he was not going to honor this anymore than 
the last.  But come on, if there were stupid enough to keep sending him stuff that was 
their fault, not his!  As he put the order in an envelope he wondered if the VHS copy 
of "Are you There God, It's Me, Margaret" was going to be better than Betamax.

January 2nd, 2007

Vlad finished putting his Shadowspire team together.  He had five warriors all ready 
to go.  Then he read the arena pledge and signed it while laughing out loud.  Like he 
really planned to commit to that, he knew you needed integrity to believe your word 
was your bond, and that is something everyone knew he didn't have.  Then he filled out 
a check for the Commission to cover the fight costs, once again he chuckled as he 
signed the check, like it would be the first time one bounced.


It has been a while since we have done a SYP Special Report, so we thought it was a 
fitting time in the midst of the summer heat. Discussions around town, have centered 
upon our immortal Lord Protectors from Shadowspire, so this report will pay homage to 



***GRADUATES BY MANAGER (TOP 10 + ACTIVE MANAGERS) -- There have been more than a few 
managers that have come to Shadowspire and graduated a warrior.  This list will give 
you to the top 10 managers, in addition to listing curently active managers/teams.

**TOP 10



THOUGHT (14); DEN, DMOBSTER (6); HOMBRE (Hombre has run multiple teams in Shadowspire, 
this total is for The Commodores only) (4); PHILTHY PHIL (3); KID ARCANE, VLAD, MANTA, 

***BEST OF THE IMMORTALS (highest W/L% at graduation) -- This is probably our most 
controversial category.  We throw out all the subjective hubbabaloo and go with the 
cold, hard numbers!  So, if you disagree with our list, greatly offended, or triggered 
in some way and need a safe space, please know that we at the SYP, truly just do not 
care . . . not even a little. 


COPERNICUS of DARQUE AGES--WS (18-2)  90.00%
HADRIAN of WARMASTERS--WS (21-5) 80.77%


YORKE of CLAN LONGBEARD (18-6-0) 75.00%
PRAWN STAR of OTTO'S DINER (15-5-0) 75.00%
JUIBLEX of MONSTER MANUAL (15-5-0) 75.00%

FIVE of LA PENTARCHIE (19-9-1) 67.86%
MOUSE OF PAIN of RODENT CLAN (14-9-0) 60.87%

VLAD TEPES of DARQUE AGES (19-6-1) 76.00%

FLOR of CULT of BACCHUS (26-14-0) 65.00%
CLARA of HOUSE OF HEARTS (17-11-1) 60.71%

HOLY SHIITAKE of OTTO'S DINER (19-6-0) 76.00%
SHAVIOLA of OF WOLF AND MAN (22-7-0) 75.86%

VILMAR of CLAN LONGBEARD (21-9-1) 70.00%
SANTA CLAUS of LA PENTARCHIE (18-9-2) 66.67%
TU DU of THE MONSANTIS (18-9-4) 66.67%

REDDIG of CLAN LONGBEARD (22-9-0) 70.97%
IMPALA of ERRATA (19-8-1) 70.37%
FAN ZHEN of DARQUE AGES (15-7-1) 68.18%

MEDA of CULT OF BACCHUS (23-8-0) 74.19%

LOW AND AWAY of CAPITAL CARTEL (23-4-0) 85.19%
BRAIN EATER of SOME KINDA HATE (22-6-0) 78.57%

COPERNICUS of DARQUE AGES (18-2-0) 90.00%
HADRIAN of WARMASTERS (21-5-1) 80.77%

Let the arguments begin!  We like it when people disagree with our lists because it 
sells more newspapers.  So, if you are not offended, let us know.  We will try harder 
next time!

                                          -- Phineas Rannulf, SYP Editor-in-Chief

                                      SPY REPORT

The thunderstorms held off just long enough for the fights to finish. Now, I'm sitting 
in the SYP office near the arena listening to the rain dance on the tin roof.  There 
is something rhythmic about it that makes writing this spy report more relaxing than 
normal.  I apologize that you have had to endure Huard and a few of the other crass 
reporters over the last few cycles.  The busy life of an editor-in-chief takes me away 
to faraway places at times.  Stormcrowe is a nice little island for those wondering.  
On to the fights!

Fast Hack 'Em 9 gets one last fight in the arena before being shipped off to the Isle 
of the Eye.  There was a large collection of Challenger Champions beneath him, so who 
did FHE9 try to schedule a meet-and-beat with for his graduation celebration?  Hombre 
appears to be more than a little upset with Blythe from Cult of Bacchus for killing 
his recruit, Sammy Lightfoot, a few turns back.  So, FHE9 issues a bloodfeud challenge 
to Blythe, whose 11 FE and 66 recognition points pale in comparison to our departing 
Duelmaster.  SHOCKED does not even begin to describe my reaction to this fight.  In a 
quick 1 minute bout, Blythe kills Lord Protector Fast Hack 'Em 9!  Yes, you read that 
correctly!  Blythe is our new Duelmaster by virtue of another kill against The 
Commodores.  Congrats to DeGotti.  I'm unclear on whether I should offer condolences 
to Hombre since FHE9 is immortal and did not stay dead long.

The most avoided team for the turn is Shanghaied.  Their 131-99-6 record must be 
sending the other team scurrying.  It is the best of the Chartered Teams.  Kill Em All 
avoided them the most.  Orin Scrivello is our most challenged warrior for the turn.  
Luckily for Orin, his challenge made it through to Hamm of Inebriation.  I feel it 
necessary to mention that Orin was ranked 25 points higher than Hamm, but I digress.  
Orin easily overcame Hamm in a short fight, which surprised absolutely no one.  Will 
Philthy Phil retaliate?  I always enjoy watching for such vengeance challenges!

Pray the Gods is once again the top team.  They had a solid 5-0-0 turn, giving them a 
3-turn best 13-2-0 record.  Darque Ages climbed to 2nd after going 4-1-0, and they are 
followed by Shanghaied, Otto's Diner, and Search the Sky.  From the Left had the 
greatest slip, falling down 8 places to 10th.  Darque Ages' 5 spot climb was the 
turn's best.  Welcome to Big Lake Solution!  Den has punished his old team for losing 
to Manta too often, so we welcome the new crop.  Good luck on the sands!

With the exception of the Duelmaster's death, all the others took place by torchlight.  
There were no surprises in that list of underachievers.  Fast Hack 'Em 9's feud was 
also the only bloodfeud challenge of the turn.  The death totals have been on the 
small side for the last several turns.  This makes me think that a SYP report on 
"Death" should come in handy next turn, so be on the lookout for it!

That is enough from me, dear readers.  I have to prepare to travel to the upcoming 
tournament.  I do not participate, but I feel obligated to report on all the major 
happenings in Alastari, and few things are bigger than a Grand Tournament.  Enjoy the 
downtime in between arena turns and rest up for next cycle's action!  It is sure to be 

                                          -- Phineas Rannulf

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BLYTHE 2829                   8   4  2    90       CULT OF BACCHUS (4)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SHEM 2719                    13  11  2   108       PRAY THE GODS (155)
 STRABO 2689                  17  11  0   106       DARQUE AGES (29)
 HORRID 2659                  18  13  0   103       WICKED MARTYRS (148)
 NEETA 2702                   14  11  0   103       PRAY THE GODS (155)
 SCHENDLE 2596                19  15  3   102       PRAY THE GODS (155)
 JANNA 2581                   20  17  1   100       PRAY THE GODS (155)
-DRAGON SCARRED 2644          18   7  0    97       DRAGONBANE GUILD (13)
 KROW 2504                    25  17  0    92       CULT OF BACCHUS (4)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CLARA D'ANDUZA 2780          15   4  0    90       DARQUE AGES (29)
 ALPACA SWEATER 2585          10   5  0    88       FROM THE LEFT (166)
 BARSTOOL BRAD 2706           14  12  1    87       INEBRIATION (27)
 MISFORTUNE COOKIE 2783       12   6  0    87       OTTO'S DINER (96)
 PLAN COLUMBIA 1612           20  22  1    83       THE MONSANTIS (112)
-TRISTAN 2669                 12  11  1    83       DRAGONBANE GUILD (13)
 TWO-TON TIMMONS 2578         22  16  0    82       SHANGHAIED (161)
-STORMCLAW 2569               18  15  1    75       DRAGONBANE GUILD (13)
 JET-BOOT JACK 2741           17   4  0    74       THE COMMODORES (150)
 MUTANT CAMEL 2678            17  13  0    73       THE COMMODORES (150)
 PLUG-IN CAR 2588             11   4  0    73       FROM THE LEFT (166)
 ZAYLA 2695                   15  10  0    71       CULT OF BACCHUS (4)
 AGENT ORANGE 2762            11   6  3    67       THE MONSANTIS (112)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 DESTINY 2703                 12  14  0    66       WICKED MARTYRS (148)
 ECLIPSE 2565                 17  14  0    65       SEARCH THE SKY (136)
 PSYCHO STYX 2771             11   9  1    64       KILL EM ALL (173)
 POWDER MONKEY 2683           15  12  1    61       SHANGHAIED (161)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SRI PONNA 2874                4   2  0    56       DARQUE AGES (29)
 SONNY CROQUETTE 2799          9   6  0    54       OTTO'S DINER (96)
 THYME LORD 2752              11   9  0    51       OTTO'S DINER (96)
 MALAKAI 2768                 10  10  0    49       KILL EM ALL (173)
 PAVIL 2270                   11   6  0    46       CLAN LONGBEARD (39)
 MELLOW JELLO 2784            13   5  0    44       OTTO'S DINER (96)
 SPHINX 2755                   7   9  1    43       MONSTER MANUAL (87)
 VIDHI 2840                    6   3  1    42       PRAY THE GODS (155)
 HYDRA 2753                    7   9  0    40       MONSTER MANUAL (87)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 TOMORROWLAND 2841             7   3  0    40       THE MONSANTIS (112)
 THREE SHEETS 2869             5   2  1    40       SHANGHAIED (161)
 CHOKE 2767                    9  11  0    38       KILL EM ALL (173)
 BLOODLUST 2769                7  13  2    37       KILL EM ALL (173)
 SUBPAR SUE 2812               8   7  0    36       WICKED MARTYRS (148)
-ORLANDO 2688                  8  11  0    35       DRAGONBANE GUILD (13)
 BRACKISH 2782                 8  11  0    35       WICKED MARTYRS (148)
-WYRM CRUSHER 2814             4   4  0    34       DRAGONBANE GUILD (13)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SILENT SPRING 2825            5   5  0    33       THE MONSANTIS (112)
 SLAYCIA 2850                  3   7  1    31       CULT OF BACCHUS (4)
 GRAB N STAB 2901              2   1  0    31       THE MONSANTIS (112)
 TOM COLLINS 2790              5  13  1    29       INEBRIATION (27)
 FERRO CHAOS 2884              5   1  0    29       SEARCH THE SKY (136)
 FEAR MONGER 2590              7   7  0    28       FROM THE LEFT (166)
 PIERCER 2854                  3   3  0    25       MONSTER MANUAL (87)
 HAMM 2879                     1   5  0    25       INEBRIATION (27)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 NO-TEETH KEITH 2852           6   4  1    23       SHANGHAIED (161)
 MIGHTY MIXON 2870             4   2  0    23       CULT OF BACCHUS (4)
 FERRO BELUA 2908              3   0  0    23       SEARCH THE SKY (136)
 PROTEST FOR HIRE 2597         4   9  1    22       FROM THE LEFT (166)
-HARE DOWNER 2843              3   0  0    21       FURRY FURY (25)
 STAR STREAK 2872              4   3  0    19       SEARCH THE SKY (136)
 CAPTAIN FIZZ 2917             2   0  0    19       THE COMMODORES (150)
 DIFFICULT 2924                1   0  0    19       BIG LAKE SOLUTION (178)
 FERDOWSI 2867                 2   5  0    17       DARQUE AGES (29)
 SIR RACHA 2853                4   4  0    16       OTTO'S DINER (96)
 RED DOG 2878                  4   2  0    16       INEBRIATION (27)
 PALE AL 2839                  2  10  0    16       INEBRIATION (27)
 TARLEE 2891                   1   4  0    15       CLAN LONGBEARD (39)
 QUICK 2926                    1   0  0    13       BIG LAKE SOLUTION (178)
 LAST 2925                     1   0  0    12       BIG LAKE SOLUTION (178)
 WHING 2890                    3   2  0    11       CLAN LONGBEARD (39)
 MODUIN 2909                   2   1  0    11       DARQUE AGES (29)
 ZURRAY 2892                   2   3  0     9       CLAN LONGBEARD (39)
 BUCKTOOTH RUTH 2893           1   4  0     7       SHANGHAIED (161)
 ORIN SCRIVELLO 2899           1   3  0     6       KILL EM ALL (173)
 BENJAMIN 2905                 1   2  0     5       WICKED MARTYRS (148)
 ORC 2914                      0   2  0     2       MONSTER MANUAL (87)
 HOPEFUL 2923                  0   1  0     1       BIG LAKE SOLUTION (178)
 TRASHMAN 2920                 0   1  0     1       THE COMMODORES (150)
 FINAL 2922                    0   1  0     1       BIG LAKE SOLUTION (178)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
GRIM TICKLES 2838       2  7 0 BIG LAKE OUTCASTS 19 PROTEST FOR HIRE 2597 268   
RUG 7679B 2921          0  1 0 CLAN LONGBEARD 39    HIGH ELF              271  NONE
DA1 2918                0  2 0 FROM THE LEFT 166    BANDIT PRINCE         271  NONE
GOTTERDAMMERUNG 2787   11  3 0 KILL EM ALL 173      DEATH DOG 2849        267  NONE
BAD COVER 2927          0  1 0 MONSTER MANUAL 87    BANDIT PRINCE         271  NONE
VELOX DOCIS 2873        1  6 0 SEARCH THE SKY 136   BLACK ORC             271  NONE
FAST HACK 'EM 9 2653   18 14 0 THE COMMODORES 150   BLYTHE 2829           271   
SAMMY LIGHTFOOT 2834    6  3 0 THE COMMODORES 150   BLYTHE 2829           267  REVENGED

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Subpar Sue of Wicked Martyrs -- I got lost in your labyrinth of flesh for a minute.  
I'm just glad I escaped with my life.  I couldn't breathe in there!  The Gladiatorial 

Commission should send an expedition in there in search of those missing vagrants.  
After this encounter, I truly believe Shanghaied is innocent and has only had false 
accusations raised against them in recent months. -- Choke

Slaycia -- I was gonna kill ya, but then I decided to finish this later. -- Psycho 
Styx, procrastinator

Tom Collins -- Aww, you try so hard!  You're like a pup that doesn't want to take a 
bath, or in your case, the Dark Arena. -- Orin Scrivello

Pavil -- Almost.  You get feisty after minute six. -- Malakai

DeGotti -- Is Krow gonna be alright?  Is he having those 'problems' again?  You know.. 
down there.. with his lady parts? -- Weirdo

Visionist -- Congratulations on your Round Robin. -- Weirdo

DeGotti -- Is Blythe still alive?  Then we aren't finished.  I lost a good one, and 
good ones are hard to come by. -- Hombre

Orc -- I had all intention of attacking leg, but I've honestly never liked Orcs. -- 
The Captain

Ferro Belua -- My boss knows a Poppa Balrog, but he says he has not seen him in ages. 
-- Whing

Strabo -- Hmm another fighting scholar, hope the ratings help. -- Osirus

Malakai -- Thanks for the workout, would have been nice if you could have tought me 
something.  Ohh well. -- Pavil

DA1 -- Did you boss forget to set your challenge? -- Whing

Ferro Belua -- So close but yet so far.  I thought for a second I was finally going to 
win. -- Tarlee

Hope everyone has a safe and enjoyable July 4th holiday. -- Visionist and the 

Shadowthrone -- It is good to see you again old friend.  Many days have passed since 
the great battles of Delarq Tor and it will be good to stand shoulder to shoulder with 
you as our hate rips through the masses like the tormented scythe that it is.  I 
believe that the Chief Justice has given you land and title befitting your station 
within the alliance.  We have also talked with Philthy Phil and he understands what is 
expected of him in regards to his position.  I'll look for you at the next AA pizza 
party. -- Den

Womanta -- Well, you did what nobody else ever has, forced me to remove an entire 
team.  How any team could survive after losing three matches to you is something that 
is not possible.  You are a joke, a laughing footnote in the arena, and the reason 
children giggle.  The Outcasts will be no longer, they are forgotten, their bodies 
burned and the earth salted where they lay so nothing will ever grow there again, a 
stark reminder of what happens when you lose to the worse the arena as to offer.  See 
you in the funny papers little girl. -- Den

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

VELOX DOCIS was butchered by BLACK ORC in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
DA1 was dealt death by BANDIT PRINCE in a 2 minute brutal Dark Arena duel.
BAD COVER was put to death by BANDIT PRINCE in a 1 minute Dark Arena match.
RUG 7679B was assassinated by HIGH ELF in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena duel.
FAST HACK 'EM 9 was dealt death by BLYTHE in a 1 minute Bloodfeud Title fight.
BARSTOOL BRAD was bested by HORRID in a popular 2 minute expert's Challenge brawl.
CLARA D'ANDUZA slimly won victory over PLAN COLUMBIA in a 10 minute Challenge match.
PSYCHO STYX handily defeated HYDRA in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
ALPACA SWEATER viciously subdued MUTANT CAMEL in a 2 minute Challenge duel.
ECLIPSE was savagely defeated by TWO-TON TIMMONS in a 24 minute Challenge duel.
JET-BOOT JACK overpowered SONNY CROQUETTE in a 5 minute one-sided Challenge melee.
CHOKE was subdued by VIDHI in a crowd pleasing 1 minute Challenge match.
THREE SHEETS slimly won victory over SLAYCIA in a 4 minute Challenge contest.
FEAR MONGER was demolished by GRAB N STAB in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge match.
TOM COLLINS was overpowered by SRI PONNA in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge conflict.
TOMORROWLAND overpowered STAR STREAK in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
NO-TEETH KEITH was devastated by SPHINX in a 1 minute brutal uneven Challenge duel.
ORIN SCRIVELLO was devastated by HAMM in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge brawl.
FERDOWSI was narrowly defeated by FERRO BELUA in a exciting 4 minute Challenge bout.
SIR RACHA was overpowered by SILENT SPRING in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge match.
PIERCER overcame PROTEST FOR HIRE in a 2 minute Challenge competition.
BUCKTOOTH RUTH was devastated by FERRO CHAOS in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
CAPTAIN FIZZ won victory over PALE AL in a 1 minute Challenge match.
ORC was overcome by RED DOG in a 2 minute Challenge contest.
SHEM defeated PLUG-IN CAR in a popular 2 minute match.
NEETA overpowered M. CHARDINEE in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
STRABO defeated KROW in a popular 1 minute veteran's duel.
SCHENDLE demolished AGENT ORANGE in a 1 minute one-sided melee.
JANNA vanquished ZAYLA in a action packed 1 minute one-sided fray.
MISFORTUNE COOKIE beat POWDER MONKEY in a action packed 2 minute competition.
DESTINY overpowered MELLOW JELLO in a 2 minute gruesome one-sided fight.
MALAKAI handily defeated BRACKISH in a 2 minute one-sided fight.
BLOODLUST was outlasted by PAVIL in a slow 8 minute fight.
SUBPAR SUE was savagely defeated by THYME LORD in a popular 1 minute gruesome bout.
MIGHTY MIXON demolished BENJAMIN in a slow 6 minute uneven contest.
TARLEE devastated TRASHMAN in a 1 minute bloody one-sided battle.
MODUIN savagely defeated HOPEFUL in a exciting 5 minute brutal novice's fray.
WHING was overcome by LAST in a popular 3 minute beginner's match.
ZURRAY was overpowered by DIFFICULT in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
FINAL was handily defeated by MORDANT DESERTER in a 1 minute mismatched match.
QUICK vanquished CONVICTED THIEF in a 1 minute one-sided match.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  14         PARRY-RIPOSTE     27 -  18 -  0      60  |
|BASHING ATTACK                  11         WALL OF STEEL     38 -  31 -  2      55  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      9         TOTAL PARRY       54 -  46 -  0      54  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    8         LUNGING ATTACK    66 -  59 -  2      53  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  8         PARRY-LUNGE       29 -  32 -  2      48  |
|AIMED BLOW                       6         SLASHING ATTACK   18 -  21 -  0      46  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      5         BASHING ATTACK    60 -  71 -  5      46  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    5         AIMED BLOW        36 -  43 -  1      46  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     5         PARRY-STRIKE       8 -  14 -  1      36  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  4         STRIKING ATTACK   21 -  51 -  0      29  |

Turn 271 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-LUNGE        4 -  1     BASHING ATTACK     5 -  6         3  PARRY-LUNGE    
WALL OF STEEL      6 -  2     PARRY-RIPOSTE      2 -  3         3  LUNGING ATTACK 
AIMED BLOW         4 -  2     SLASHING ATTACK    1 -  3         2  WALL OF STEEL  
TOTAL PARRY        5 -  4     STRIKING ATTACK    2 -  6         1  BASHING ATTACK 
LUNGING ATTACK     7 -  7     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  5         1  PARRY-RIPOSTE  
                                                                1  AIMED BLOW     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
BASHING ATTACK   BLYTHE 2829                 8   4  2   90 CULT OF BACCHUS (4)
PARRY-LUNGE      SHEM 2719                  13  11  2  108 PRAY THE GODS (155)
LUNGING ATTACK   HORRID 2659                18  13  0  103 WICKED MARTYRS (148)
WALL OF STEEL    KROW 2504                  25  17  0   92 CULT OF BACCHUS (4)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    CLARA D'ANDUZA 2780        15   4  0   90 DARQUE AGES (29)
AIMED BLOW       ALPACA SWEATER 2585        10   5  0   88 FROM THE LEFT (166)
TOTAL PARRY      BARSTOOL BRAD 2706         14  12  1   87 INEBRIATION (27)
STRIKING ATTACK  ZAYLA 2695                 15  10  0   71 CULT OF BACCHUS (4)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is JANNA 2581.  The most popular warrior this turn was 
MODUIN 2909.  The ten other most popular fighters were ALPACA SWEATER 2585, HORRID 
2659, FERDOWSI 2867, SHEM 2719, STRABO 2689, MISFORTUNE COOKIE 2783, WHING 2890, PLAN 
COLUMBIA 1612, JET-BOOT JACK 2741, and CHOKE 2767.

The least popular fighter this week was TWO-TON TIMMONS 2578.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were ECLIPSE 2565, PAVIL 2270, BLOODLUST 2769, BENJAMIN 2905, MIGHTY 
MIXON 2870, FINAL 2922, ZURRAY 2892, LAST 2925, TRASHMAN 2920, and MELLOW JELLO 2784.

The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn:

FAST HACK 'EM 9 (81-2653) THE COMMODORES (150)