DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER
Date : 07/05/2017 Duedate: 07/18/2017
SHADOWSPIRE ARENA
DM-81 TURN-271
This Weeks Top Honors
THE DUELMASTER IS
BLYTHE
CULT OF BACCHUS (4)
(81-2829) [8-4-2,90]
Chartered Recognition Leader Unchartered Recognition Leader
SHEM DIFFICULT
PRAY THE GODS (155) BIG LAKE SOLUTION (178)
(81-2719) [13-11-2,108] (81-2924) [1-0-0,19]
Popularity Leader This Weeks Favorite
JANNA MODUIN
PRAY THE GODS (155) DARQUE AGES (29)
(81-2581) [20-17-1,100] (81-2909) [2-1-0,11]
THE CURRENT TOP TEAM
PRAY THE GODS (155)
TEAMS ON THE MOVE TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name Point Gain Chartered Team
1. BIG LAKE SOLUTION (178) 46
2. MONSTER MANUAL (87) 35 SHANGHAIED (161)
3. THE MONSANTIS (112) 34 Unchartered Team
4. DARQUE AGES (29) 33
5. PRAY THE GODS (155) 32 BIG LAKE SOLUTION (178)
The Top Teams
Career Win-Loss Record W L K % Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns W L K
1/ 0*BIG LAKE SOLUTION (178) 3 2 0 60.0 1/ 1 PRAY THE GODS (155) 13 2 0
2/ 1 SHANGHAIED (161) 131 99 6 57.0 2/ 7 DARQUE AGES (29) 9 6 0
3/ 2 CULT OF BACCHUS (4) 523 405 18 56.4 3/ 3 SHANGHAIED (161) 9 6 0
4- 3 DRAGONBANE GUILD (13) 702 594 19 54.2 4/ 6 OTTO'S DINER (96) 8 7 0
5/ 4 DARQUE AGES (29) 593 519 21 53.3 5/ 8 SEARCH THE SKY (136) 8 7 0
6/ 5 WICKED MARTYRS (148) 239 213 10 52.9 6/ 4 THE COMMODORES (150) 8 7 0
7/ 6 OTTO'S DINER (96) 534 495 26 51.9 7/ 9 THE MONSANTIS (112) 7 3 0
8/ 8 CLAN LONGBEARD (39) 543 515 21 51.3 8/ 5 CLAN LONGBEARD (39) 7 8 0
9/ 9 THE COMMODORES (150) 208 198 6 51.2 9/10 WICKED MARTYRS (148) 7 8 0
10-10 FURRY FURY (25) 436 445 21 49.5 10/ 2 FROM THE LEFT (166) 7 8 0
11/ 7 FROM THE LEFT (166) 37 38 2 49.3 11/11 KILL EM ALL (173) 7 8 0
12/11 KILL EM ALL (173) 49 51 3 49.0 12/12 MONSTER MANUAL (87) 5 8 0
13/13 PRAY THE GODS (155) 138 150 11 47.9 13/ 0 INEBRIATION (27) 4 11 0
14/12 THE MONSANTIS (112) 149 162 13 47.9 14/ 0*BIG LAKE SOLUTION (178) 3 2 0
15/14 MONSTER MANUAL (87) 463 565 18 45.0 15/15 CULT OF BACCHUS (4) 3 11 1
16/16 SEARCH THE SKY (136) 186 262 9 41.5 16-14 DRAGONBANE GUILD (13) 1 4 0
Career Win-Loss Record W L K % Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns W L K
17/ 0 INEBRIATION (27) 162 254 13 38.9 17-17 FURRY FURY (25) 0 2 0
'*' Unchartered team '-' Team did not fight this turn
(###) Avoid teams by their Team Id ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank
TEAM SPOTLIGHT
More Night-Time Drama
The guards who kept the two gates under surveillance during the night games were
rude. They gave off a rancid odor as well, and their ringmail was tarnished and
showed other signs of neglect. Swaggering (half-staggering) along the walkways and
gates, they often paused to take an aggressive stance so as to brandish their naked
shortswords at anyone who lingered on the walkways or who was foolish enough to make
eye contact. In the darkness of night, even with the eerie uncertainty of torch and
lamp light, their blades were surprisingly polished and bright; a keen edge was
clearly discernible.
"Hold on there, you two! Where's yer passes?!"
A burly figure in a knee-length hauberk of thick, interlocking rings materialized
at the base of the stairs leading up to one of the corner booths. A slim form draped
in a voluminous blue cloak stood slightly behind; a billowy hood hid the features
underneath, but a pair of glowing eyes shone out clearly in the darkness.
The guard flinched. "Oh, sorry Kid. Didn't know it was you."
The cloaked figure appeared to float past the thickset warrior in front. It
paused in front of the guard, who took an involuntary half-step backward. The Kid
chuckled as the guard made a weak, rigid gesture with his blade, a caricature of a
parry.
"I showed my pass at the night gate,"
Arcane said. "Must you ruffians harass me at every juncture?"
"Uh, sorry. Just doing our job," grumbled the guard, regaining his poise. He
made a flourish in the air with his blade and stepped aside. Accordingly, the pair of
guards behind him shuffled back and allowed the pair a wide berth as they strode past.
The two drifted up the steep stairs, silent as a cloud or mist, then disappeared into
the inky shadows of The Kid's private booth.
"I realize that everybody is economizing of late," Arcane murmured, "but I feel
compelled to complain about the quality of the nighttime security."
"Like that'll do any good!" Havoc snorted as he reached for a tankard and pitcher
set out on a small table crammed into a corner of the dark stall. "They ain't pretty,
but ya get what ya pay for, I guess," he muttered. "Since they charge half-price for
night admission, whatta ya expect?."
The Kid's reply was drowned out as an ear-piercing fanfare resounded from below.
Raucous catcalls stabbed through the dark, smoky air and chased a group of gladiators
across the sands as they shambled out of a small metal door beneath them. The
gladiators lined up, shoulder-to-shoulder, and peered up at the Duelmaster sitting in
his large wooden throne above them.
The Duelmaster, in turn, regarded the gladiators solemnly. A plump blonde wench,
her garish toga straining to stay put on her stout body, perched drunkenly on his knee
and blew sloppy kisses to the fighters below.
"This business with the tavern girls is obnoxious," Arcane said with a prim edge
to his voice. "I appreciate that the Duelmaster wishes to act the part of the 'Alpha
Male', but really..."
"If it ain't broke, don't fix it," growled Havoc.
The gladiators shifted their weight, awkward and self-conscious. The Night Games
Orator used a large megaphone to announce their names and respective stables. The
unending catcalls from the raucous crowd were shrill and loud.
Once the orator was finished he quit the sands and a pair of gray-robed priests
stepped into the arena. Their faces hidden within the shadows of cavernous hoods,
they circled the gladiators while swinging smoking bronze censers held by sturdy black
ropes of twined hair. Their pace was slow but steady, keeping rhythm with solemn
chanting in a meaningless tongue.
"This reminds me. Did you bother to check on Velox's check-out paperwork?"
"Kid, I know how to do my job."
Arcane threw a sidelong frown at Havoc.
"I simply wish to ensure that we attempt to comply with his 'last wishes'." The
Kid waved a pale, slender hand in the dark booth. "It's the least we can do."
"Huh," grunted Havoc. "The very least." He swished his tankard in the general
direction of the stands around them. "But who knows? He might surprise ya."
Arcane shook his head in irritation and folded his hands inside his robe.
"Not likely. Have you had a chance to check with the committee regarding his
replacement?"
"Naw. But I an't worried about it." Havoc paused to refill his tankard from the
pitcher.
"It ain't like they're ever goin' to run out of cannon fodder."
After circling the fighters three times, the priests raised their censors towards
the bleachers. They shook their censors with a roaring shout, which most of the
audience echoed. Then the priests half stalked, half swaggered across the arena and
disappeared through their small, iron door in the wall beneath the Duelmaster's chair.
"These little traditions irk me," The Kid muttered.
Havoc chuckled in reply. "Just scarin' away any evil spirits that might still be
lingerin' around," grinned Havoc. "Plus, it's a good way to signal the start of the
bettin'."
"Did you wager on any of the fighters tonight?"
"Naw. Well--" Havoc shifted uneasily in his seat. "I put a few coins on Velox.
Just in case."
"Seriously?"
"Hey, at twenty to one, I don't see the harm."
Arcane shook his narrow head, causing his hood to rustle. "No, of course you
don't. Well, it's your money."
Havoc's reply was drowned out by a brief fanfare as the first fight of the night
was announced. A few shrill screams punctuated the general caterwauling.
The warm, humid air mingled with the smells from the freshly-raked wet sand, the
tar-streaked torches, the lingering incense of the priests, and the bestial odors from
the crowd.
"Anyways..."
Havoc drained the tankard and set it back on the table. "Ya wanted that
inventory of the armory..."
Arcane's robe shifted as he shrugged his slender shoulders. "And?"
"Yeah," Havoc frowned. "Well, it turns out there ain't been any REAL inventory
done in quite a while."
"What?!"
Havoc made a deep sigh and turned a mournful face at the empty tankard. "It's
probably 'cause we never had any gladiator stickin' around long enough to do the job
right. I mean, besides Eclipse."
"You're not going to...?"
"Naw, Kid," muttered Havoc. "We still gotta remind him of which weapon to take
out there!"
"I'm concerned with the fact that we seem to be missing many pieces of armor, and
our surplus of bashing weapons has been depleted as well," frowned Arcane, his thin
brows furrowing together.
"Yeah, well, I checked on the pawn brokers and resale shops like ya asked..."
The Arcane Kid sneered. "I'll bet you know them on a first-name basis."
"Yeah. So what?"
Arcane shook his head. "Whatever."
"Anyways, it seems like Vlad has been sellin' a lot of stuff lately."
Arcane swung a his bright gaze into Havoc's smiling eyes. "That would explain him
being at The Acropolis." Havoc nodded. "What sort of gear is he trying to unload?"
"Nothin' unusual, just a lot of it," replied Havoc with a dry chuckle. "The
thing is, Nomad has been buyin' up a lot o' his crap."
Arcane began to turn in his chair so as to face Havoc fully, but he paused as a
deafening cheer shook the night air.
"That guy didn't last long," observed Havoc. He studied the Kid as he watched
Spymaster walking away from the body, flexing his epee in a nonchalant fashion. "I
wonder if the next guy's worth bettin' on?"
Arcane glowered into Havoc's sardonic smile. "Let's stick to business, shall
we?"
"Well, whatta ya want? All I can find out is that Nomad's buyin' and Vlad's
sellin', but they ain't the only ones hittin' the pawn shops, ya know. And besides
that, a lotta managers are floatin' around right now. It's hard to keep track of 'em
when they're usin' the summer weather as an excuse to take trips all over Alastari!"
Arcane raised a white fist into the dark air and smashed it down into his other
palm. "Havoc, I need to know if there's a thief in our organization!"
"Yeah. Well, I've been askin' around, Kid, but it's hard to come up with any
real patterns. Like, Kill 'em All has a habit o' pawning their stuff, but they
usually buy it back. Nobody I know of has been just sellin' and lettin' stuff go."
The Arcane Kid sank in his seat and drew his robe tighter around his slender
body. "That does not bode well," he whispered.
"Yeah. Seems we probably have a thief," Havoc nodded.
"Thank you, Captain Obvious. Insightful, but not helpful."
"Well, Bobbi was talkin' about sending over some guy she knows who used to work
with Otto and Master Darque. Some sort o' private errand boy, but I said--"
"Don't you DARE!" Arcane snarled. "Havoc, I insist that you keep that woman out
of our business!"
"Yeah, yeah! I hear ya!" Havoc growled. "Anyways, I'm pretty sure Master Darque
ain't involved. He's been involved with some tourney in another arena, and takin' his
own little joyrides around Alastari."
"Well, that's good," nodded Arcane uncertainly.
"Yeah. Relax, Kid. We'll get to the bottom of it sooner or later."
"Yes, I suppose you're correct..." mused Arcane. He glanced up as the last
gladiator of the night was hurled against the wall. The fighter was obviously a Total
Parry, heavily armored and clenching a battered shield in each hand. The bleachers
shook as the fans screamed in delight. The giant lumbered towards his prey, a broken-
toothed sneer spread across his broad face.
"Another scum that ain't workin' out," Havoc snorted. "We got too many of 'em in
Shadowspire, anyways."
"I wonder -- our fighter is next. Is it too late to place a wager on Velox?"
Havoc rolled his eyes as the giant's maul smashed into the plated head of the TP.
His head, crushed like a grape, spurted blood and bone fragments across the sands.
The fighter's body flopped onto the bloody sands to the roaring glee of the crowd.
"That's kinda sick," Havoc muttered with a gesture. "Yer worse than them!"
***---------*---------*---------*---------**---------*---------*---------*---------***
Bandor the Pure read the dispatch from Shadowspire and shook his head in
disbelief. Being the Intelligence Officer for the mighty Allied Axis he was privy to
all things arena related, and several things not arena related. He knew that Den and
Bill would want to know about this failure immediately so he grabbed all the notes and
burst into action. He knew his way around Greywand's Gift very well and also knew he
would probably find Den and Bill in the famed Allied Axis Conference Room. Seeing the
door in front of him he picked up his pace and moved through the door in a single
fluid movement, thus committing his first error of the day.
As Bandor entered he was suddenly and unexpectedly struck from both the top and
the bottom. Den and Bill hearing him approach had quickly moved into position and
while Den hit him high, Bill hit him low. Bandor spun a full turn and landed head
first on the floor and before he could react was quickly incapacitated. Den used his
famous three-finger-dead-lock on him while Bill applied his signature reverse-knee-
bend-with-toe-pull. Bandor screamed in agony but knowing the fault lay with him could
do nothing but take the punishment. He well understood that the Chief Justice and
High Priest require all to knock and be granted permission before entering. In his
haste, this was forgotten. He apologized profusely and was finally granted the
audience that he so needed.
"Well, I just received egregious news from Shadowspire," Bandor explained as he
was careful not to make eye contact with Bill, still remembering how that worked out
for him last time.
"Spit it out," Den replied a look of irritation.
"Well, it seems our team there the Big Lake Outcasts were able to perform the
impossible. But, this was not the good impossible, but the bad impossible. Something
so incredibly horrible that there is not a manager in Alastari that thought this was
even possible. That team somehow lost three fights to Womanta," Bandor said with a
look of disbelief.
"Huh? This cannot be. A team of Embezzling Scribes could go 3-2 consistently
against Womanta, everyone knows she is the worse manager in the game. Is this
information accurate or is the Inner Circle playing some kind of game with us?" Den
asked.
"Well, this comes directly to me through my channels which verify everything with
the Arenamaster before reporting to me," Bandor answered.
Den shook his head, while Bill kept trying to get Bandor to make eye contact with
him. "There is no way we can let this disgrace go unpunished. We must set the
example for the other teams. I want that team removed. Kill the warriors and remove
the team from the team listing. Shame their names, they will never be spoken here
again, find their families and shame them. Let Alastari know that the Allied Axis
will not tolerate embarrassment on this grand of a scale. The team doesn't exist that
should lose three to Womanta in several turns, much less in a single turn. What do we
have in the training program to take the place of these embarrassments?" Den directed.
"Well, I think I have exactly what we need to put this sad story to bed. I have
five recruits that are performing admirably well and would love to compete in
Shadowspire. They are well aware of the history of that arena and would love the
opportunity to fight in the only true pure arena left."
Den listened while his fingers rubbed his chin, appreciating that Bandor was
putting a plan together. They didn't put him charge of the intelligence services for
the entire alliance for no reason. "That sounds like a perfect solution to our little
problem. And this time Bandor, I want a team where all five original members are sent
to the Isle, you have yet to make that happen for me. We promised to support
Shadowspire when the idea was first voiced by Doc LeGrande and we shall continue to
support this arena. I want the new Big Lake Solution to be fighting next turn. Get
them ready and get them in transit, and remember, all five graduate, I don't want any
replacements until that happens."
Bandor nodded his understanding and quickly left, he had much work to do.
Graduating all five original members of a team is a feat very few managers have ever
accomplished, but he knew that the Allied Axis could achieve anything.
Den and Bill turned and walked back to the conference table to finish the matter
that was at hand before Bandor had interrupted them.
"So, now that Shadowthrone has passed the background check we need to introduce
him to the other members of the alliance and bring him up to speed regarding all the
managers that we hate," Bill stated calmly as they walked.
"What post did you put him in Bill?" Den asked.
"Exactly where we need him," Bill answered, "as Director of Torment."
***---------*---------*---------*---------**---------*---------*---------*---------***
Vlad Through the Ages
Brought to you by the intelligence services at AA Headquarters
June 15, 1215
King John paced back and forth, the barons had put him into a very difficult position,
but he knew there must be a way out. He screamed at his Regent as he held the Great
Charter above his head. "Sire, I think I have an idea, instead of you signing the
document, why don't we have Vlad sign it, everyone knows his signature doesn't mean
anything." And thus it was, the most important document in history had no value and
eventually led to the downfall of King John, all because Vlad has no integrity.
September 1780
Benedict Arnold sat across from Vlad, nodding his head in understanding. He was
looking for a way out of his situation and finally found the man that could help him.
Vlad had explained that you can promise anything, sign anything, and do anything as
long as you don't have to worry about the burden of honesty and integrity. Finally,
Benedict found a man that he could admire.
April 11th, 1814
Napoleon was ruined, his army was no longer his, his nation was no longer his, and
what was his was going to be in Elba. He followed Vlad down the hall, until they were
stopped by royal clerk. "I just need a signature that says Napoleon will never return
to France," they were asked. Vlad quickly signed the document to the chuckling of
Napoleon who was already scheming to come back now that he knew Vlad's signature would
not stand in the way, after all, everyone knew that meant nothing.
May 12th, 1985
Young Vlad giggled has he put the stickers on the Columbia House Record & Tape Club
ad. He was picking out some of the finest Betamax movies available. He knew that the
VHS format was challenging Betamax but he also knew it was the superior format and
thus he chose that direction. He quickly filled out the order contract and without
even thinking signed his name guaranteeing he would buy eight move movies over the
next year. Yeah, like he had any intention of doing that, they should know his
signature was not worth anything.
December 17th, 1985
Ricky hated his job at the Shuttle O-Ring factory. The O-rings that were coming off
the line were garbage, but they needed to get them out and shipped to NASA. The
shipping clerk asked him to sign the quality control paperwork noting that the O-rings
were up to specs. Ricky knew better, these O-rings were junk. He did what anyone
would do, he told the clerk to have Vlad sign off on it, everyone knew his signature
meant less than nothing.
August 21st, 1987
Vlad finally had to admit that VHS was here to stay and he put his Betamax movies in
the milk crate that held his bed up. He quickly filled out another order form for the
Columbia House Record & Tape Club, this time choosing all VHS movies. Once again, he
signed the pledge, but didn't even blink, he was not going to honor this anymore than
the last. But come on, if there were stupid enough to keep sending him stuff that was
their fault, not his! As he put the order in an envelope he wondered if the VHS copy
of "Are you There God, It's Me, Margaret" was going to be better than Betamax.
January 2nd, 2007
Vlad finished putting his Shadowspire team together. He had five warriors all ready
to go. Then he read the arena pledge and signed it while laughing out loud. Like he
really planned to commit to that, he knew you needed integrity to believe your word
was your bond, and that is something everyone knew he didn't have. Then he filled out
a check for the Commission to cover the fight costs, once again he chuckled as he
signed the check, like it would be the first time one bounced.
***---------*---------*---------*---------**---------*---------*---------*---------***
It has been a while since we have done a SYP Special Report, so we thought it was a
fitting time in the midst of the summer heat. Discussions around town, have centered
upon our immortal Lord Protectors from Shadowspire, so this report will pay homage to
them.
***GRADUATES BY STYLE
STRIKERS (61); LUNGERS (53); TOTAL PARRYS (34); WALLS OF STEEL (30); AIMED BLOWS (27);
BASHERS (27); SLASHERS (26); PARRY LUNGERS (17); PARRY RIPOSTES (14); PARRY STRIKERS
(14)
***GRADUATES BY MANAGER (TOP 10 + ACTIVE MANAGERS) -- There have been more than a few
managers that have come to Shadowspire and graduated a warrior. This list will give
you to the top 10 managers, in addition to listing curently active managers/teams.
**TOP 10
LE PENTARQUE (24); NOMAD (20); VANEK (19); VISIONIST (19); MASTER DARQUE (18);
DEGOTTI, GRIMM (17); OTTO X (16); DEEP THOUGHT (14); SHERMAN (13); TRIPWIRE (9)
**ACTIVE MANAGERS
NOMAD (20); VISIONIST (19); MASTER DARQUE (18); DEGOTTI, GRIMM (17); OTTO X (16); DEEP
THOUGHT (14); DEN, DMOBSTER (6); HOMBRE (Hombre has run multiple teams in Shadowspire,
this total is for The Commodores only) (4); PHILTHY PHIL (3); KID ARCANE, VLAD, MANTA,
BLACKHART (2)
***BEST OF THE IMMORTALS (highest W/L% at graduation) -- This is probably our most
controversial category. We throw out all the subjective hubbabaloo and go with the
cold, hard numbers! So, if you disagree with our list, greatly offended, or triggered
in some way and need a safe space, please know that we at the SYP, truly just do not
care . . . not even a little.
**OVERALL (TOP 5)
COPERNICUS of DARQUE AGES--WS (18-2) 90.00%
LOW AND AWAY of CAPITAL CARTEL--TP (23-4) 85.19%
ANVIL IRONFIST of DRAGONBANED GUILD--WS (22-4) 84.62%
LADY ORIEL of DRAGONBANE GUILD--PR (21-5) 80.77%
HADRIAN of WARMASTERS--WS (21-5) 80.77%
**BEST BY STYLE (TOP 3)
*AIMED BLOWS
YORKE of CLAN LONGBEARD (18-6-0) 75.00%
PRAWN STAR of OTTO'S DINER (15-5-0) 75.00%
JUIBLEX of MONSTER MANUAL (15-5-0) 75.00%
*BASHERS
MOLLUSQUOME of LA PENTARCHIE (21-8-2) 72.41%
FIVE of LA PENTARCHIE (19-9-1) 67.86%
MOUSE OF PAIN of RODENT CLAN (14-9-0) 60.87%
*LUNGERS
VLAD TEPES of DARQUE AGES (19-6-1) 76.00%
GERTRUDE STEIN of LITERATE LOONS (19-6-1) 76.00%
MICKEY SLIM of WICKED MARTYRS (22-7-0) 75.86%
*PARRY LUNGERS
FLOR of CULT of BACCHUS (26-14-0) 65.00%
EVELYN WAUGH of LITERATE LOONS (25-14-1) 64.10%
CLARA of HOUSE OF HEARTS (17-11-1) 60.71%
*PARRY RIPOSTES
LADY ORIEL of DRAGONBANE GUILD (21-5-0) 80.77%
HOLY SHIITAKE of OTTO'S DINER (19-6-0) 76.00%
SHAVIOLA of OF WOLF AND MAN (22-7-0) 75.86%
*PARRY STRIKERS
VILMAR of CLAN LONGBEARD (21-9-1) 70.00%
SANTA CLAUS of LA PENTARCHIE (18-9-2) 66.67%
TU DU of THE MONSANTIS (18-9-4) 66.67%
*SLASHERS
REDDIG of CLAN LONGBEARD (22-9-0) 70.97%
IMPALA of ERRATA (19-8-1) 70.37%
FAN ZHEN of DARQUE AGES (15-7-1) 68.18%
*STRIKERS
HUMMINGBIRD of SUMMERBORN (16-4-0) 80.00%
'69 FAIRLANE COBRA of AMERICAN MUSCLE (15-5-1) 75.00%
MEDA of CULT OF BACCHUS (23-8-0) 74.19%
*TOTAL PARRYS
LOW AND AWAY of CAPITAL CARTEL (23-4-0) 85.19%
BRAIN EATER of SOME KINDA HATE (22-6-0) 78.57%
RAT-LOVING CAT of LA PENTARCHIE (31-9-0) 77.50%
*WALLS OF STEEL
COPERNICUS of DARQUE AGES (18-2-0) 90.00%
ANVIL IRONFIST of DRAGONBANE GUILD (22-4-0) 84.62%
HADRIAN of WARMASTERS (21-5-1) 80.77%
Let the arguments begin! We like it when people disagree with our lists because it
sells more newspapers. So, if you are not offended, let us know. We will try harder
next time!
-- Phineas Rannulf, SYP Editor-in-Chief
SPY REPORT
The thunderstorms held off just long enough for the fights to finish. Now, I'm sitting
in the SYP office near the arena listening to the rain dance on the tin roof. There
is something rhythmic about it that makes writing this spy report more relaxing than
normal. I apologize that you have had to endure Huard and a few of the other crass
reporters over the last few cycles. The busy life of an editor-in-chief takes me away
to faraway places at times. Stormcrowe is a nice little island for those wondering.
On to the fights!
Fast Hack 'Em 9 gets one last fight in the arena before being shipped off to the Isle
of the Eye. There was a large collection of Challenger Champions beneath him, so who
did FHE9 try to schedule a meet-and-beat with for his graduation celebration? Hombre
appears to be more than a little upset with Blythe from Cult of Bacchus for killing
his recruit, Sammy Lightfoot, a few turns back. So, FHE9 issues a bloodfeud challenge
to Blythe, whose 11 FE and 66 recognition points pale in comparison to our departing
Duelmaster. SHOCKED does not even begin to describe my reaction to this fight. In a
quick 1 minute bout, Blythe kills Lord Protector Fast Hack 'Em 9! Yes, you read that
correctly! Blythe is our new Duelmaster by virtue of another kill against The
Commodores. Congrats to DeGotti. I'm unclear on whether I should offer condolences
to Hombre since FHE9 is immortal and did not stay dead long.
The most avoided team for the turn is Shanghaied. Their 131-99-6 record must be
sending the other team scurrying. It is the best of the Chartered Teams. Kill Em All
avoided them the most. Orin Scrivello is our most challenged warrior for the turn.
Luckily for Orin, his challenge made it through to Hamm of Inebriation. I feel it
necessary to mention that Orin was ranked 25 points higher than Hamm, but I digress.
Orin easily overcame Hamm in a short fight, which surprised absolutely no one. Will
Philthy Phil retaliate? I always enjoy watching for such vengeance challenges!
Pray the Gods is once again the top team. They had a solid 5-0-0 turn, giving them a
3-turn best 13-2-0 record. Darque Ages climbed to 2nd after going 4-1-0, and they are
followed by Shanghaied, Otto's Diner, and Search the Sky. From the Left had the
greatest slip, falling down 8 places to 10th. Darque Ages' 5 spot climb was the
turn's best. Welcome to Big Lake Solution! Den has punished his old team for losing
to Manta too often, so we welcome the new crop. Good luck on the sands!
With the exception of the Duelmaster's death, all the others took place by torchlight.
There were no surprises in that list of underachievers. Fast Hack 'Em 9's feud was
also the only bloodfeud challenge of the turn. The death totals have been on the
small side for the last several turns. This makes me think that a SYP report on
"Death" should come in handy next turn, so be on the lookout for it!
That is enough from me, dear readers. I have to prepare to travel to the upcoming
tournament. I do not participate, but I feel obligated to report on all the major
happenings in Alastari, and few things are bigger than a Grand Tournament. Enjoy the
downtime in between arena turns and rest up for next cycle's action! It is sure to be
epic!
-- Phineas Rannulf
DUELMASTER W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
BLYTHE 2829 8 4 2 90 CULT OF BACCHUS (4)
CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
SHEM 2719 13 11 2 108 PRAY THE GODS (155)
STRABO 2689 17 11 0 106 DARQUE AGES (29)
HORRID 2659 18 13 0 103 WICKED MARTYRS (148)
NEETA 2702 14 11 0 103 PRAY THE GODS (155)
SCHENDLE 2596 19 15 3 102 PRAY THE GODS (155)
JANNA 2581 20 17 1 100 PRAY THE GODS (155)
-DRAGON SCARRED 2644 18 7 0 97 DRAGONBANE GUILD (13)
KROW 2504 25 17 0 92 CULT OF BACCHUS (4)
CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
CLARA D'ANDUZA 2780 15 4 0 90 DARQUE AGES (29)
ALPACA SWEATER 2585 10 5 0 88 FROM THE LEFT (166)
BARSTOOL BRAD 2706 14 12 1 87 INEBRIATION (27)
MISFORTUNE COOKIE 2783 12 6 0 87 OTTO'S DINER (96)
PLAN COLUMBIA 1612 20 22 1 83 THE MONSANTIS (112)
-TRISTAN 2669 12 11 1 83 DRAGONBANE GUILD (13)
TWO-TON TIMMONS 2578 22 16 0 82 SHANGHAIED (161)
-STORMCLAW 2569 18 15 1 75 DRAGONBANE GUILD (13)
JET-BOOT JACK 2741 17 4 0 74 THE COMMODORES (150)
MUTANT CAMEL 2678 17 13 0 73 THE COMMODORES (150)
PLUG-IN CAR 2588 11 4 0 73 FROM THE LEFT (166)
ZAYLA 2695 15 10 0 71 CULT OF BACCHUS (4)
AGENT ORANGE 2762 11 6 3 67 THE MONSANTIS (112)
CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
DESTINY 2703 12 14 0 66 WICKED MARTYRS (148)
ECLIPSE 2565 17 14 0 65 SEARCH THE SKY (136)
PSYCHO STYX 2771 11 9 1 64 KILL EM ALL (173)
POWDER MONKEY 2683 15 12 1 61 SHANGHAIED (161)
ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
SRI PONNA 2874 4 2 0 56 DARQUE AGES (29)
SONNY CROQUETTE 2799 9 6 0 54 OTTO'S DINER (96)
THYME LORD 2752 11 9 0 51 OTTO'S DINER (96)
MALAKAI 2768 10 10 0 49 KILL EM ALL (173)
PAVIL 2270 11 6 0 46 CLAN LONGBEARD (39)
MELLOW JELLO 2784 13 5 0 44 OTTO'S DINER (96)
SPHINX 2755 7 9 1 43 MONSTER MANUAL (87)
VIDHI 2840 6 3 1 42 PRAY THE GODS (155)
HYDRA 2753 7 9 0 40 MONSTER MANUAL (87)
ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
TOMORROWLAND 2841 7 3 0 40 THE MONSANTIS (112)
THREE SHEETS 2869 5 2 1 40 SHANGHAIED (161)
CHOKE 2767 9 11 0 38 KILL EM ALL (173)
BLOODLUST 2769 7 13 2 37 KILL EM ALL (173)
SUBPAR SUE 2812 8 7 0 36 WICKED MARTYRS (148)
-ORLANDO 2688 8 11 0 35 DRAGONBANE GUILD (13)
BRACKISH 2782 8 11 0 35 WICKED MARTYRS (148)
-WYRM CRUSHER 2814 4 4 0 34 DRAGONBANE GUILD (13)
CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
SILENT SPRING 2825 5 5 0 33 THE MONSANTIS (112)
SLAYCIA 2850 3 7 1 31 CULT OF BACCHUS (4)
GRAB N STAB 2901 2 1 0 31 THE MONSANTIS (112)
TOM COLLINS 2790 5 13 1 29 INEBRIATION (27)
FERRO CHAOS 2884 5 1 0 29 SEARCH THE SKY (136)
FEAR MONGER 2590 7 7 0 28 FROM THE LEFT (166)
PIERCER 2854 3 3 0 25 MONSTER MANUAL (87)
HAMM 2879 1 5 0 25 INEBRIATION (27)
INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
NO-TEETH KEITH 2852 6 4 1 23 SHANGHAIED (161)
MIGHTY MIXON 2870 4 2 0 23 CULT OF BACCHUS (4)
FERRO BELUA 2908 3 0 0 23 SEARCH THE SKY (136)
PROTEST FOR HIRE 2597 4 9 1 22 FROM THE LEFT (166)
-HARE DOWNER 2843 3 0 0 21 FURRY FURY (25)
STAR STREAK 2872 4 3 0 19 SEARCH THE SKY (136)
CAPTAIN FIZZ 2917 2 0 0 19 THE COMMODORES (150)
DIFFICULT 2924 1 0 0 19 BIG LAKE SOLUTION (178)
FERDOWSI 2867 2 5 0 17 DARQUE AGES (29)
SIR RACHA 2853 4 4 0 16 OTTO'S DINER (96)
RED DOG 2878 4 2 0 16 INEBRIATION (27)
PALE AL 2839 2 10 0 16 INEBRIATION (27)
TARLEE 2891 1 4 0 15 CLAN LONGBEARD (39)
QUICK 2926 1 0 0 13 BIG LAKE SOLUTION (178)
LAST 2925 1 0 0 12 BIG LAKE SOLUTION (178)
WHING 2890 3 2 0 11 CLAN LONGBEARD (39)
MODUIN 2909 2 1 0 11 DARQUE AGES (29)
ZURRAY 2892 2 3 0 9 CLAN LONGBEARD (39)
BUCKTOOTH RUTH 2893 1 4 0 7 SHANGHAIED (161)
ORIN SCRIVELLO 2899 1 3 0 6 KILL EM ALL (173)
BENJAMIN 2905 1 2 0 5 WICKED MARTYRS (148)
ORC 2914 0 2 0 2 MONSTER MANUAL (87)
HOPEFUL 2923 0 1 0 1 BIG LAKE SOLUTION (178)
TRASHMAN 2920 0 1 0 1 THE COMMODORES (150)
FINAL 2922 0 1 0 1 BIG LAKE SOLUTION (178)
'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.
THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN Revenge?
GRIM TICKLES 2838 2 7 0 BIG LAKE OUTCASTS 19 PROTEST FOR HIRE 2597 268
RUG 7679B 2921 0 1 0 CLAN LONGBEARD 39 HIGH ELF 271 NONE
DA1 2918 0 2 0 FROM THE LEFT 166 BANDIT PRINCE 271 NONE
GOTTERDAMMERUNG 2787 11 3 0 KILL EM ALL 173 DEATH DOG 2849 267 NONE
BAD COVER 2927 0 1 0 MONSTER MANUAL 87 BANDIT PRINCE 271 NONE
VELOX DOCIS 2873 1 6 0 SEARCH THE SKY 136 BLACK ORC 271 NONE
FAST HACK 'EM 9 2653 18 14 0 THE COMMODORES 150 BLYTHE 2829 271
SAMMY LIGHTFOOT 2834 6 3 0 THE COMMODORES 150 BLYTHE 2829 267 REVENGED
PERSONAL ADS
Subpar Sue of Wicked Martyrs -- I got lost in your labyrinth of flesh for a minute.
I'm just glad I escaped with my life. I couldn't breathe in there! The Gladiatorial
Commission should send an expedition in there in search of those missing vagrants.
After this encounter, I truly believe Shanghaied is innocent and has only had false
accusations raised against them in recent months. -- Choke
Slaycia -- I was gonna kill ya, but then I decided to finish this later. -- Psycho
Styx, procrastinator
Tom Collins -- Aww, you try so hard! You're like a pup that doesn't want to take a
bath, or in your case, the Dark Arena. -- Orin Scrivello
Pavil -- Almost. You get feisty after minute six. -- Malakai
DeGotti -- Is Krow gonna be alright? Is he having those 'problems' again? You know..
down there.. with his lady parts? -- Weirdo
Visionist -- Congratulations on your Round Robin. -- Weirdo
DeGotti -- Is Blythe still alive? Then we aren't finished. I lost a good one, and
good ones are hard to come by. -- Hombre
Orc -- I had all intention of attacking leg, but I've honestly never liked Orcs. --
The Captain
Ferro Belua -- My boss knows a Poppa Balrog, but he says he has not seen him in ages.
-- Whing
Strabo -- Hmm another fighting scholar, hope the ratings help. -- Osirus
Malakai -- Thanks for the workout, would have been nice if you could have tought me
something. Ohh well. -- Pavil
DA1 -- Did you boss forget to set your challenge? -- Whing
Ferro Belua -- So close but yet so far. I thought for a second I was finally going to
win. -- Tarlee
Hope everyone has a safe and enjoyable July 4th holiday. -- Visionist and the
Longbeards
Shadowthrone -- It is good to see you again old friend. Many days have passed since
the great battles of Delarq Tor and it will be good to stand shoulder to shoulder with
you as our hate rips through the masses like the tormented scythe that it is. I
believe that the Chief Justice has given you land and title befitting your station
within the alliance. We have also talked with Philthy Phil and he understands what is
expected of him in regards to his position. I'll look for you at the next AA pizza
party. -- Den
Womanta -- Well, you did what nobody else ever has, forced me to remove an entire
team. How any team could survive after losing three matches to you is something that
is not possible. You are a joke, a laughing footnote in the arena, and the reason
children giggle. The Outcasts will be no longer, they are forgotten, their bodies
burned and the earth salted where they lay so nothing will ever grow there again, a
stark reminder of what happens when you lose to the worse the arena as to offer. See
you in the funny papers little girl. -- Den
LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS
VELOX DOCIS was butchered by BLACK ORC in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
DA1 was dealt death by BANDIT PRINCE in a 2 minute brutal Dark Arena duel.
BAD COVER was put to death by BANDIT PRINCE in a 1 minute Dark Arena match.
RUG 7679B was assassinated by HIGH ELF in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena duel.
FAST HACK 'EM 9 was dealt death by BLYTHE in a 1 minute Bloodfeud Title fight.
BARSTOOL BRAD was bested by HORRID in a popular 2 minute expert's Challenge brawl.
CLARA D'ANDUZA slimly won victory over PLAN COLUMBIA in a 10 minute Challenge match.
PSYCHO STYX handily defeated HYDRA in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
ALPACA SWEATER viciously subdued MUTANT CAMEL in a 2 minute Challenge duel.
ECLIPSE was savagely defeated by TWO-TON TIMMONS in a 24 minute Challenge duel.
JET-BOOT JACK overpowered SONNY CROQUETTE in a 5 minute one-sided Challenge melee.
CHOKE was subdued by VIDHI in a crowd pleasing 1 minute Challenge match.
THREE SHEETS slimly won victory over SLAYCIA in a 4 minute Challenge contest.
FEAR MONGER was demolished by GRAB N STAB in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge match.
TOM COLLINS was overpowered by SRI PONNA in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge conflict.
TOMORROWLAND overpowered STAR STREAK in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
NO-TEETH KEITH was devastated by SPHINX in a 1 minute brutal uneven Challenge duel.
ORIN SCRIVELLO was devastated by HAMM in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge brawl.
FERDOWSI was narrowly defeated by FERRO BELUA in a exciting 4 minute Challenge bout.
SIR RACHA was overpowered by SILENT SPRING in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge match.
PIERCER overcame PROTEST FOR HIRE in a 2 minute Challenge competition.
BUCKTOOTH RUTH was devastated by FERRO CHAOS in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
CAPTAIN FIZZ won victory over PALE AL in a 1 minute Challenge match.
ORC was overcome by RED DOG in a 2 minute Challenge contest.
SHEM defeated PLUG-IN CAR in a popular 2 minute match.
NEETA overpowered M. CHARDINEE in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
STRABO defeated KROW in a popular 1 minute veteran's duel.
SCHENDLE demolished AGENT ORANGE in a 1 minute one-sided melee.
JANNA vanquished ZAYLA in a action packed 1 minute one-sided fray.
MISFORTUNE COOKIE beat POWDER MONKEY in a action packed 2 minute competition.
DESTINY overpowered MELLOW JELLO in a 2 minute gruesome one-sided fight.
MALAKAI handily defeated BRACKISH in a 2 minute one-sided fight.
BLOODLUST was outlasted by PAVIL in a slow 8 minute fight.
SUBPAR SUE was savagely defeated by THYME LORD in a popular 1 minute gruesome bout.
MIGHTY MIXON demolished BENJAMIN in a slow 6 minute uneven contest.
TARLEE devastated TRASHMAN in a 1 minute bloody one-sided battle.
MODUIN savagely defeated HOPEFUL in a exciting 5 minute brutal novice's fray.
WHING was overcome by LAST in a popular 3 minute beginner's match.
ZURRAY was overpowered by DIFFICULT in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
FINAL was handily defeated by MORDANT DESERTER in a 1 minute mismatched match.
QUICK vanquished CONVICTED THIEF in a 1 minute one-sided match.
BATTLE REPORT
MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS
|FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK 14 PARRY-RIPOSTE 27 - 18 - 0 60 |
|BASHING ATTACK 11 WALL OF STEEL 38 - 31 - 2 55 |
|TOTAL PARRY 9 TOTAL PARRY 54 - 46 - 0 54 |
|WALL OF STEEL 8 LUNGING ATTACK 66 - 59 - 2 53 |
|STRIKING ATTACK 8 PARRY-LUNGE 29 - 32 - 2 48 |
|AIMED BLOW 6 SLASHING ATTACK 18 - 21 - 0 46 |
|PARRY-LUNGE 5 BASHING ATTACK 60 - 71 - 5 46 |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE 5 AIMED BLOW 36 - 43 - 1 46 |
|PARRY-STRIKE 5 PARRY-STRIKE 8 - 14 - 1 36 |
|SLASHING ATTACK 4 STRIKING ATTACK 21 - 51 - 0 29 |
Turn 271 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are:
PARRY-LUNGE 4 - 1 BASHING ATTACK 5 - 6 3 PARRY-LUNGE
WALL OF STEEL 6 - 2 PARRY-RIPOSTE 2 - 3 3 LUNGING ATTACK
AIMED BLOW 4 - 2 SLASHING ATTACK 1 - 3 2 WALL OF STEEL
TOTAL PARRY 5 - 4 STRIKING ATTACK 2 - 6 1 BASHING ATTACK
LUNGING ATTACK 7 - 7 PARRY-STRIKE 0 - 5 1 PARRY-RIPOSTE
1 AIMED BLOW
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE
FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME
BASHING ATTACK BLYTHE 2829 8 4 2 90 CULT OF BACCHUS (4)
PARRY-LUNGE SHEM 2719 13 11 2 108 PRAY THE GODS (155)
LUNGING ATTACK HORRID 2659 18 13 0 103 WICKED MARTYRS (148)
WALL OF STEEL KROW 2504 25 17 0 92 CULT OF BACCHUS (4)
PARRY-RIPOSTE CLARA D'ANDUZA 2780 15 4 0 90 DARQUE AGES (29)
AIMED BLOW ALPACA SWEATER 2585 10 5 0 88 FROM THE LEFT (166)
TOTAL PARRY BARSTOOL BRAD 2706 14 12 1 87 INEBRIATION (27)
STRIKING ATTACK ZAYLA 2695 15 10 0 71 CULT OF BACCHUS (4)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.
The overall popularity leader is JANNA 2581. The most popular warrior this turn was
MODUIN 2909. The ten other most popular fighters were ALPACA SWEATER 2585, HORRID
2659, FERDOWSI 2867, SHEM 2719, STRABO 2689, MISFORTUNE COOKIE 2783, WHING 2890, PLAN
COLUMBIA 1612, JET-BOOT JACK 2741, and CHOKE 2767.
The least popular fighter this week was TWO-TON TIMMONS 2578. The other ten least
popular fighters were ECLIPSE 2565, PAVIL 2270, BLOODLUST 2769, BENJAMIN 2905, MIGHTY
MIXON 2870, FINAL 2922, ZURRAY 2892, LAST 2925, TRASHMAN 2920, and MELLOW JELLO 2784.
The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn:
FAST HACK 'EM 9 (81-2653) THE COMMODORES (150)