DM 081 Newsletter

DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date : 06/29/2022 Duedate: 07/12/2022

SHADOWSPIRE ARENA

DM-81 TURN-401

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

THE LIMPER
BIG LAKE SOLUTION (178)
(81-3516) [18-20-0,113]

Chartered Recognition Leader Unchartered Recognition Leader

THE LIMPER ZORRO
BIG LAKE SOLUTION (178) HEROES & VILLAINS (197)
(81-3516) [18-20-0,113] (81-3706) [6-2-0,59]

Popularity Leader This Weeks Favorite

ZAGRID BONNIE PARKER
CLAN LONGBEARD (39) HEROES & VILLAINS (197)
(81-3528) [22-15-1,82] (81-3702) [3-5-0,25]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

HEROES & VILLAINS (197)

TEAMS ON THE MOVE TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name Point Gain Chartered Team
1. CULT OF BACCHUS (4) 42
2. MADNESS (190) 29 MIRKWOOD ORCS (188)
3. HEROES & VILLAINS (197) 29 Unchartered Team
4. WICKED MARTYRS (148) 26
5. MIRKWOOD ORCS (188) 25 HEROES & VILLAINS (197)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record W L K % Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns W L K
1/ 1 MIRKWOOD ORCS (188) 151 104 8 59.2 1/ 8*HEROES & VILLAINS (197) 10 5 0
2/ 2*HEROES & VILLAINS (197) 23 16 0 59.0 2/ 1 KILL 'EM ALL (173) 9 6 2
3/ 3 CULT OF BACCHUS (4) 856 695 27 55.2 3/10 NBA LEGENDS (156) 9 6 0
4/ 4 KILL 'EM ALL (173) 298 244 27 55.0 4/ 7 CULT OF BACCHUS (4) 8 6 0
5/ 5 NBA LEGENDS (156) 121 104 9 53.8 5/ 9 MIRKWOOD ORCS (188) 8 7 2
6/ 6 CLAN LONGBEARD (39) 786 691 29 53.2 6/ 2 DARQUE AGES (29) 7 8 0
7/ 7 DARQUE AGES (29) 913 834 39 52.3 7/ 3 CLAN LONGBEARD (39) 7 8 0
8/ 8 PRAY THE GODS (155) 412 383 26 51.8 8/ 5 BIG LAKE SOLUTION (178) 7 8 0
9/ 9 WICKED MARTYRS (148) 527 530 21 49.9 9/11 PLUM ISLAND SKEETE (195) 7 8 0
10/10 BIG LAKE SOLUTION (178) 304 327 20 48.2 10/ 6 PRAY THE GODS (155) 6 4 0
11/12 LITERATE LOONS (40) 629 735 30 46.1 11/12 WICKED MARTYRS (148) 6 7 0
12/11 PLUM ISLAND SKEETE (195) 31 38 1 44.9 12/ 4 LITERATE LOONS (40) 5 10 1
13/13 MADNESS (190) 60 75 2 44.4 13/14 MADNESS (190) 5 10 0
14/ 0 HIGH ORDER (123) 16 33 3 32.7 14/ 0 HIGH ORDER (123) 3 7 0

'*' Unchartered team '-' Team did not fight this turn
(###) Avoid teams by their Team Id ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
Notes from the arena champ.

DM Column DM#81 Turn#401

Good day one and all.

I am pleased and honored to sit on the DM throne of the best no-tourney
arena of the land on this historic 400th turn. DeGotti has been traveling
the last few weeks and has just recently returned, so I am not sure if my
challenges will go through, as he had to ask for them electronically.

My favorites are a mixed bag: MO/VL, GA, S tactic, DEC learner. I have a
MA Init., Expert Rip, ADV EX Attack and Dec. I have never thought about
using a GA and DeGotti thought the LO was my favorite.

As I am on my way to retirement and to bring back an old honored
tradition, (for those of you who weren't around, the DM is supposed to
leave something in the DM throne room of their way out), I am leaving
above the mantle, my fine long sword that took down so many of my
opponents.

To my successor, enjoy the view from the top!

Lady Protector,
Velina

SPY REPORT

This turn feels kinda like a hangover! I mean, I'm guessing all of you have been
partying for the last 2 weeks in celebration of turn 400. Oh, just me? Well, I'll
let it slide this time, but I don't expect the lot of you to disappoint me when turn
500 rolls. How did I get stuck in an arena with such a bunch of prudes? Don't get me
wrong, I could be over in the pillow fight land of Andorians, but you guys aren't much
of a stretch from that disappointment. Whatever, let's get this show on the road so I
can hit the ground running out of this place when the work is done!

Velina is leaving us, which you probably already knew if you are paying even a little
attention. Thanks for some departing words and the nice longsword over the throne.
Now we have to keep someone from pilfering it when the crowd is distracted. Anyway,
Kyle Demonblade made his play for the throne against Velina, but he wasn't able to
beat our newest Lord Protector. It wasn't all sadness for Big Lake Solution though.
The Limper posted a challenge to Zagrid, our popularity leader. After winning, The
Limper had enough points to secure the throne. Congrats to The Limper, who is managed
by Den for taking over from Velina.

Our "By the Numbers" segment is brought to you as always by Otto's Diner, where their
guarantee is, "We only use 60% horse meat!"

Fights: 37 (+6 from the last turn; the trend continues downward)
DA Deaths: 2 (2-0 for the Dark Arena Crew)
Non-DA Deaths: 1
Blood feuds: 4 (2-2 for the avengers of blood)
Challenges: 16 (10-6-0-1 for the challengers)
Most Avoided: KILL 'EM ALL (173)
Avoiding Most: PRAY THE GODS (155)
Most Challenged: RAYMOND CARVER 3543 13 20 1 LITERATE LOONS (40)

Largest Up Challenge: 18 points -- RECLAN (81-3650) (7-3-0,58) of PRAY THE GODS
challenged KAIBOSH (81-3546) (14-13-1,76) of KILL 'EM ALL. RECLAN defeated
KAIBOSH in a 4-minute gruesome Challenge match.

Largest Down Challenge: -27 points -- THE LIMPER (81-3516) (17-20-0,108) of BIG
LAKE SOLUTION challenged ZAGRID (81-3528) (22-14-1,81) of CLAN LONGBEARD. THE
LIMPER won victory over ZAGRID in a 1-minute expert's Challenge Title duel.

Each of you should have a nice crisp copy of the SYP Special 400th Edition. Enjoy it
and I'll be around later to give autographs. I didn't write it, but hey, I know y'all
would want me to sign it anyway. I'm here for you! You can give Phineas a nod for
putting that together. He likes his historical records and such.

Good-bye to Velina who leaves us after today's fights. We will also be giving
Fastrada a send-off next turn. Yes, we have another Lord Protector from The Spire!
How much land is left to hand out anyway? Is it really just an apartment on the main
strip? An arena pen? I'm not sure how the Graywand does all of this stuff. Maybe
she has a pocket dimension where all of these Lord and Lady Protectors dwell.
Whatever, it doesn't cost me anything!

Time for me to get out of town. There is nothing figurative about it, I need to leave
this place and soon. Partying for 2 weeks straight can cause you to pile up some
serious debts and usually to the wrong type of people. I'm sure the main exits are
being watched, so if you see me scaling over a wall, MIND YOUR BUSINESS! Until next
time! (I hope)

-- Huard DePriest

DUELMASTER W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
THE LIMPER 3516 18 20 0 113 BIG LAKE SOLUTION (178)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
KOOMADON 3602 16 9 0 107 CULT OF BACCHUS (4)
FASTRADA 3607 14 11 0 107 DARQUE AGES (29)
BUYICA 3606 13 12 1 105 WICKED MARTYRS (148)
FRAYED KNOT 3438 27 17 0 98 KILL 'EM ALL (173)
UHKANT 3497 27 15 0 96 CLAN LONGBEARD (39)
BROKEN BLADE 3494 18 21 2 94 MIRKWOOD ORCS (188)
KYLE DEMONBLADE 3634 10 13 0 93 BIG LAKE SOLUTION (178)
RINGIL 3633 17 4 0 92 MIRKWOOD ORCS (188)

CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
RAYMOND CARVER 3543 13 20 1 83 LITERATE LOONS (40)
ZAGRID 3528 22 15 1 82 CLAN LONGBEARD (39)
SPEKT 3541 15 19 0 82 WICKED MARTYRS (148)
SHIRLEY JACKSON 3582 13 15 0 81 LITERATE LOONS (40)
HAKEEM 2521 14 20 3 75 NBA LEGENDS (156)
RECLAN 3650 8 3 0 74 PRAY THE GODS (155)
BROKEN 3644 12 8 0 67 MADNESS (190)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
XIQUEEL 3659 9 8 0 66 BIG LAKE SOLUTION (178)
YRVO 3666 9 5 0 66 PLUM ISLAND SKEETERS (195)
KAIBOSH 3546 14 14 1 63 KILL 'EM ALL (173)
SLAINE 3713 7 0 0 62 CLAN LONGBEARD (39)
LAUDINA 3658 8 9 0 61 MADNESS (190)
DOOT 3603 11 7 0 59 PRAY THE GODS (155)
ZORRO 3706 6 2 0 59 HEROES & VILLAINS (197)

ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
RIP PAPA BEAR 3635 9 13 0 55 MADNESS (190)
BAMNOR 3608 13 11 0 53 CULT OF BACCHUS (4)
DOROTHY PARKER 3591 10 17 1 48 LITERATE LOONS (40)
CRIXX 3672 9 6 1 47 WICKED MARTYRS (148)
PISTOL PETE 3683 7 2 0 42 NBA LEGENDS (156)
OTTO'S FRY GUY 3648 9 9 1 41 CULT OF BACCHUS (4)
CHRISTINE DE PIZAN 3727 4 1 0 41 DARQUE AGES (29)
SHANKAR 3585 10 9 0 39 PRAY THE GODS (155)

ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
MARGERY KEMPE 3686 7 5 1 37 DARQUE AGES (29)
STING 3661 9 6 1 36 MIRKWOOD ORCS (188)

CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
T-1000 3704 6 2 0 33 HEROES & VILLAINS (197)
PRIVID 3665 6 9 0 32 WICKED MARTYRS (148)
SAILASA 3692 5 1 0 31 PRAY THE GODS (155)
AVLUV 3670 7 7 0 28 PLUM ISLAND SKEETERS (195)
ANTON CHEKHOV 3651 4 14 0 28 LITERATE LOONS (40)
ELLEN RIPLEY 3703 4 4 0 28 HEROES & VILLAINS (197)
SAI 3678 6 2 0 26 PRAY THE GODS (155)
BONNIE PARKER 3702 3 5 0 25 HEROES & VILLAINS (197)
DR. ROBOTNIK 3737 3 0 0 25 HEROES & VILLAINS (197)
SHELENA 1601 7 3 0 24 HIGH ORDER (123)

INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
SAUL BELLOW 3709 3 5 1 23 LITERATE LOONS (40)
RUINN 3695 5 5 0 20 CLAN LONGBEARD (39)
MUTOMBO 3728 4 1 0 20 NBA LEGENDS (156)
DOOMSDAY 3720 4 2 1 18 KILL 'EM ALL (173)
YEET 3708 3 6 0 17 PLUM ISLAND SKEETERS (195)
DAISY 3743 2 0 1 15 KILL 'EM ALL (173)
SIR CHARLES 3733 2 1 0 14 NBA LEGENDS (156)
OTTO'S SOUS-CHEF 3744 1 0 0 14 CULT OF BACCHUS (4)
MAGNA CARTHER 3747 1 0 0 12 DARQUE AGES (29)
SARAH JANE 3717 2 3 0 11 HIGH ORDER (123)
HARRY 3748 1 0 0 10 MADNESS (190)
LEXI 3718 2 3 0 9 HIGH ORDER (123)
CARTER 3719 1 4 1 8 HIGH ORDER (123)
JIHL BLAZEFURY 3735 1 2 0 8 BIG LAKE SOLUTION (178)
AMBER LYNN 3738 2 1 0 7 PLUM ISLAND SKEETERS (195)
FOE-HAMMER 3736 1 2 0 7 MIRKWOOD ORCS (188)
CLYDE THE GLIDE 3732 1 2 0 5 NBA LEGENDS (156)
AHNA MISSTEP 3729 0 4 0 4 BIG LAKE SOLUTION (178)
TRACI 3740 0 2 0 2 MADNESS (190)
WARPATH 3749 0 1 0 2 KILL 'EM ALL (173)
RON 3750 0 1 0 1 PLUM ISLAND SKEETERS (195)
AHLRIC 3756 0 1 0 1 CLAN LONGBEARD (39)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN Revenge?
THE REPLACEMENT 3526 15 18 2 BIG LAKE SOLUTIO 178 BROKEN BLADE 3494 397 REVENGED
BEDE 3726 1 2 0 DARQUE AGES 29 SAUL BELLOW 3709 399 JUST REVENGED
REMENSA PEASANT 3745 0 2 0 DARQUE AGES 29 WURM KIN 401 NONE
HANS GRUBER 3705 1 3 0 HEROES & VILLAIN 197 PERCY 3688 397 REVENGED
KALRANOTH II 3712 1 5 1 HIGH ORDER 123 STING 3661 401
ARNOLD 3741 0 1 0 MADNESS 190 DOOMSDAY 3720 400
ATHELAS 3742 0 2 0 MIRKWOOD ORCS 188 DAISY 3743 401
SCATHA 3693 4 2 0 MIRKWOOD ORCS 188 RAYMOND CARVER 3543 398 JUST REVENGED
ORION NEWARK 3722 1 2 0 OHS ALUMNI 183 KALRANOTH II 3712 398
CLEETER 3707 3 2 0 PLUM ISLAND SKEE 195 MARGERY KEMPE 3686 398 REVENGED
AXE HEAD 3746 0 1 0 WICKED MARTYRS 148 STONE GOLEM 401 NONE

PERSONAL ADS

Bamnor -- That was unexpected. I've become so used to losing that a win is shocking.
-- Broken Blade

Raymond Carver-- That result was not in the script I read. :( -- Ringil

Laudina -- I lost due to a new strategy. Yea, I'll go with that. -- Sting

Mutombo -- Return to your dark dank basement, you hideous scum! -- Foe-Hammer

Daisey -- I'd lay a righteous vile insult at you, but since you're a golem I doubt you
have the intellect to appreciate my efforts. Isn't clay rather unusual for a gladiator
golem? I'd think rock would work better. Likely to expensive for that cheap manager
you are in servitude to. No matter, I care not. -- Athelas

Athelas -- Take that, you God damned dirty Orc. -- Daisy

Madness -- Sorry about killing your warrior. I was aiming for vitals with a high kill
desire. -- Doomsday

All -- Deep Six ST 12(1)-10(1)-9-21-15-8-11 Good/Good, Master Decise, Ad Ex Init, Ad
Ex Attack, Expert Riposte. Favs: Broadsword, VL/Low, Decise Tactic, and learns
Initiative. I did not run him in the Dark Arena in hopes that he would match with Zed.
And he did! If it ain't broke, don't fix it. No strategy changes were made for Deep
Six for the final fight with Zed. Zed, however, switched to a Maul. The final fight
was two naked Strikers. Deep Six used a Scimitar. Zed with a Maul. Zed out jumped
Deep Six and hit him twice with the Maul and that was all she wrote. What a run for
Deep Six! 19-2-2. Knacky? Clearly the key to his success was all my superior
downchall...uh, my special style of managing. Regards. -- Weirdo, mgr Kill 'EM ALL

Lord Protector Deep Six -- Seems only fair we should fight in our last fight here. I
am shocked I got the jump on you, much less beat you after our previous encounter. --
Lord Protector Zedhea

Velina -- Well fought! Congrats on your invite. -- Uhkant

Fastrada -- I am curious why this fight ended up so differently. -- Zagrid

T-1000 -- Your namesake must be so disappointed in you. -- Ruinn

Otto's Fry Guy -- You may have heard this. I am fast as fast can be. -- Slaine

So we had to take a round off to make some decisions. I decided to send Roxanne to the
DA because I just don't think she can make it. -- Darkathias

LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

REMENSA PEASANT was butchered by WURM KIN in a 2 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
AXE HEAD was dispatched by STONE GOLEM in a 3 minute Dark Arena battle.
FASTRADA handily defeated SAUL BELLOW in a 1 minute one-sided Bloodfeud match.
RINGIL viciously subdued RAYMOND CARVER in a 5 minute veteran's Bloodfeud fight.
XIQUEEL was devastated by BROKEN BLADE in a 1 minute one-sided Bloodfeud duel.
TRACI was bested by DOOMSDAY in a 2 minute Bloodfeud match.
FRAYED KNOT bested SHIRLEY JACKSON in a 3 minute veteran's Challenge competition.
THE LIMPER won victory over ZAGRID in a 1 minute expert's Challenge Title duel.
KYLE DEMONBLADE was overpowered by VELINA in a popular 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
RECLAN defeated KAIBOSH in a 4 minute gruesome Challenge match.
ZORRO overpowered MARGERY KEMPE in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
SHANKAR was demolished by SLAINE in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge competition.
RIP PAPA BEAR devastated DOROTHY PARKER in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge battle.
LAUDINA bested CRIXX in a crowd pleasing 3 minute bloody Challenge bout.
CHRISTINE DE PIZAN savagely defeated SAI in a popular 3 minute bloody Challenge duel.
AVLUV was viciously subdued by OTTO'S FRY GUY in a exciting 3 minute Challenge fray.
SAILASA outwaited BONNIE PARKER in a popular 12 minute brutal Challenge brawl.
DR. ROBOTNIK subdued YEET in a 3 minute Challenge bout.
JIHL BLAZEFURY was savagely defeated by ANTON CHEKHOV in a 3 minute Challenge match.
SIR CHARLES beat FOE-HAMMER in a exciting 3 minute beginner's Challenge fight.
ATHELAS was executed by DAISY in a 1 minute gruesome uneven Challenge fray.
UHKANT was viciously subdued by KOOMADON in a popular 2 minute gory veteran's bout.
BUYICA won victory over VENEMOUS CONCUBINE in a 1 minute gruesome veteran's match.
BROKEN was defeated by SPEKT in a exciting 1 minute bout.
BAMNOR was vanquished by HAKEEM in a 1 minute uneven bout.
YRVO handily defeated FRATSFA SLAVE in a 1 minute uneven bout.
DOOT beat PISTOL PETE in a action packed 1 minute competition.
SHELENA was savagely defeated by PRIVID in a slow 17 minute gruesome fight.
T-1000 overcame RUINN in a 2 minute fight.
STING executed KALRANOTH II in a 1 minute one-sided match.
ELLEN RIPLEY savagely defeated AMBER LYNN in a exciting 2 minute gory bout.
MUTOMBO overcame WARPATH in a 4 minute amateur's match.
AHNA MISSTEP was viciously subdued by SARAH JANE in a 3 minute brutal amateur's fight.
CLYDE THE GLIDE was narrowly defeated by MAGNA CARTHER in a 2 minute struggle.
CARTER was handily defeated by OTTO'S SOUS-CHEF in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
LEXI subdued RON in a 3 minute gruesome novice's conflict.
HARRY overpowered AHLRIC in a 1 minute uneven bout.

BATTLE REPORT

MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS
|FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT|
|TOTAL PARRY 14 AIMED BLOW 40 - 25 - 1 62 |
|LUNGING ATTACK 11 TOTAL PARRY 76 - 49 - 4 61 |
|STRIKING ATTACK 9 STRIKING ATTACK 44 - 37 - 2 54 |
|AIMED BLOW 7 PARRY-RIPOSTE 15 - 14 - 1 52 |
|WALL OF STEEL 7 WALL OF STEEL 37 - 44 - 1 46 |
|PARRY-LUNGE 6 SLASHING ATTACK 28 - 35 - 3 44 |
|SLASHING ATTACK 6 PARRY-LUNGE 26 - 34 - 1 43 |
|BASHING ATTACK 4 BASHING ATTACK 22 - 33 - 3 40 |
|PARRY-STRIKE 3 LUNGING ATTACK 39 - 61 - 1 39 |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE 3 PARRY-STRIKE 10 - 16 - 0 38 |

Turn 401 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-LUNGE 5 - 1 PARRY-STRIKE 1 - 2 3 STRIKING ATTACK
BASHING ATTACK 3 - 1 LUNGING ATTACK 3 - 8 2 WALL OF STEEL
AIMED BLOW 4 - 3 PARRY-RIPOSTE 0 - 3 2 PARRY-LUNGE
WALL OF STEEL 4 - 3 1 TOTAL PARRY
STRIKING ATTACK 5 - 4 1 PARRY-RIPOSTE
SLASHING ATTACK 3 - 3 1 AIMED BLOW
TOTAL PARRY 7 - 7 1 PARRY-STRIKE

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME
STRIKING ATTACK KOOMADON 3602 16 9 0 107 CULT OF BACCHUS (4)
PARRY-LUNGE BUYICA 3606 13 12 1 105 WICKED MARTYRS (148)
TOTAL PARRY FRAYED KNOT 3438 27 17 0 98 KILL 'EM ALL (173)
PARRY-RIPOSTE UHKANT 3497 27 15 0 96 CLAN LONGBEARD (39)
WALL OF STEEL RINGIL 3633 17 4 0 92 MIRKWOOD ORCS (188)
PARRY-STRIKE ZAGRID 3528 22 15 1 82 CLAN LONGBEARD (39)
SLASHING ATTACK XIQUEEL 3659 9 8 0 66 BIG LAKE SOLUTION (178)
LUNGING ATTACK YRVO 3666 9 5 0 66 PLUM ISLAND SKEETERS (195)
AIMED BLOW SLAINE 3713 7 0 0 62 CLAN LONGBEARD (39)
BASHING ATTACK DOOT 3603 11 7 0 59 PRAY THE GODS (155)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is ZAGRID 3528. The most popular warrior this turn was
BONNIE PARKER 3702. The ten other most popular fighters were SHIRLEY JACKSON 3582,
RINGIL 3633, LAUDINA 3658, CHRISTINE DE PIZAN 3727, OTTO'S FRY GUY 3648, ANTON
CHEKHOV 3651, FOE-HAMMER 3736, KOOMADON 3602, ELLEN RIPLEY 3703, and DOOMSDAY 3720.

The least popular fighter this week was PRIVID 3665. The other ten least popular
fighters were SHELENA 1601, SAILASA 3692, AHLRIC 3756, CARTER 3719, AMBER LYNN 3738,
BAMNOR 3608, SAI 3678, DOROTHY PARKER 3591, SHANKAR 3585, and MARGERY KEMPE 3686.

The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:

FASTRADA (81-3607) DARQUE AGES (29)

The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn:

VELINA (81-3478) CULT OF BACCHUS (4)

Name Change-o-Rama -- Final Update

The gladiators looked around at the Commission's administrative office on the
Isle of the Eye. They'd been here before. The standard boxy building, the scurrying
clerks, the... goats browsing on the landscaping. Not as many goats this time as
before, only three. One came over to Zeke (not his arena name) and nuzzled his
pockets. He scratched at the base of its floppy ears, lacking a snack to offer. He
looked at one of the clerks. "I thought you got rid of the goats last year," Zeke
said.
"These are new goats," the clerk said with a sigh. "They're going to be shipped
out next week." He looked hopeful. "They like you, could you stay until then?"
Zeke sighed. Minding three goats sounded more enjoyable than fighting in the
arena. "I'd have to ask my manager."

* * * *

Snatching his parchment away from a very determined goat, who apparently thought
it was a tasty snack, Rodney quickly dipped his pen in ink and began to write. "It is
our pleasure and honor to note that sixty-seven gladiators and teams have elected to
change their names, supporting the contribution of goats to deserving people. With
the Commission's matching funds, this has purchased three goats--a good goat can't be
purchased for a copper, you know. The goats are already en route to their new homes,
where they will be--" He paused and thought about it. "--very welcome. We wish all
the best to the goats and their new owners."