DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 12/30/2024    Duedate: 01/11/2025

DWES EG ARENA

DM 82    TURN 656

This Week's Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

ARCANE
MONSTER MASH-A (7164)
(82-42829) [9-7-0,111]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

GORMU                          ANGRY
TITANIC RENDERS (6163)         DON'T MAKE SANDY (133)
(82-37230) [12-6-0,113]        (82-58284) [4-3-0,50]

Popularity Leader              This Week's Favorite

SUNSTEEL                       KING OF TWILIGHT
BLOODSWORDS (1135)             ROOKIE MAIDEN 15 (7291)
(82-58137) [17-12-1,110]       (82-43493) [11-6-2,77]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

POSITION IS EMPTY

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. WAR TREK (45)                 28 
2. BLOODSWORDS (1135)            23    MONSTER MASH-N (7153)
3. MONSTER MASH-A (7164)         20    Unchartered Team
4. TITANIC RENDERS (6163)        18 
5. DEADWOOD (8023)               15    TURF WARS (1004)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 MONSTER MASH-N (7153)      2   0  0 100.   1/ 2 SCARLET CHAPEL (1129)     8  5 1
 2/ 0*TURF WARS (1004)           3   1  0 75.0   2/ 3 BLOODSWORDS (1135)        8  5 1
 3/ 2 TITANIC RENDERS (6163)    12   6  0 66.7   3/ 1 BIG STRONG MEN (42)       5  2 0
 4/ 4 IN THE CLOSET (978)       10   7  1 58.8   4/ 4 FALLEN HEROES (1749)      5  4 1
 5/ 3*YEOMAN JOHNSON (8022)      7   5  0 58.3   5/ 6 UTOPIA RELIGIOSO (752)    4  1 0
 6/13*ROOKIE PINK 21 (8925)      4   3  0 57.1   6/ 7 THE BLACK LEAGUE (1750)   4  5 0
 7- 5 ECCENTRIC DWARVES (1429)  84  66  8 56.0   7/ 5 ANGRY CHICKEN (1132)      4  5 0
 8/ 6 FALLEN HEROES (1749)     256 210 16 54.9   8/ 8 FAMOUS GOLFERS (424)      4  5 0
 9- 7 BASES LOADED, BABY (1136) 16  14  1 53.3   9/15 WAR TREK (45)             4  6 0
10/11 BLOODSWORDS (1135)        91  88  5 50.8  10/17 DEADWOOD (8023)           3  0 1
11/ 9 ANGRY CHICKEN (1132)      73  71  2 50.7  11/10 TRIBAL COUNCIL 9 (152)    3  0 1
12-10 DISPOSABLE HEROES (621)   76  74  8 50.7  12/21 MONSTER MASH-N (7153)     2  0 0
13/14 MONSTER MASH-A (7164)     18  18  0 50.0  13/22 MONSTER MASH-H (7158)     2  0 0
14/ 8 ROOKIE MAIDEN 64 (7340)   14  14  2 50.0  14/23 MONSTER MASH-B (7163)     2  0 0
15/15 DEADWOOD (8023)            9   9  1 50.0  15/16*ROOKIE PINK 21 (8925)     2  1 0
16/19 ROOKIE MAIDEN 15 (7291)    5   5  0 50.0  16-11 CHEESE (8021)             2  1 0
17/42 DAMAGE INC. (7712)         1   1  0 50.0  17/ 9*YEOMAN JOHNSON (8022)     2  1 0
18/12 STONED ROOKIES 3 (7774)   11  12  1 47.8  18/28 MONSTER MASH-A (7164)     2  1 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19/17 MONSTER MASH-B (7163)     10  11  1 47.6  19/18 ROOKIE MAIDEN 15 (7291)   2  1 0
20/16 BIG STRONG MEN (42)      108 127  8 46.0  20/20 TITANIC RENDERS (6163)    2  1 0
21-18 ROOKIE MAIDEN 59 (7335)    9  11  0 45.0  21-12 BASES LOADED, BABY (1136) 2  1 0
22/21 SCARLET CHAPEL (1129)     40  50  3 44.4  22-14 FALLEN MASTERS (3500)     2  3 0
23/30 MONSTER MASH-H (7158)      8  10  0 44.4  23/13 BLUE TIME JEWELS (1134)   2  3 0
24-20 STRANGE MISSIONS (1458)   59  74  1 44.4  24-24 STRANGE MISSIONS (1458)   1  0 0
25/23 THE BLACK LEAGUE (1750)   48  63  0 43.2  25/ 0*TURF WARS (1004)          1  0 0
26/31 TRIBE OF DAWN (5298)      12  16  1 42.9  26-26 ECCENTRIC DWARVES (1429)  1  0 0
27/25 FAMOUS GOLFERS (424)      48  65  2 42.5  27/ 0 END OF THE LINE (446)     1  0 0
28-26 CHEESE (8021)              8  11  1 42.1  28-27 DISPOSABLE HEROES (621)   1  0 0
29-27 FALLEN MASTERS (3500)     97 134  5 42.0  29/40 DAMAGE INC. (7712)        1  1 0
30-28 CROSSED THIEVES (1431)    39  54  3 41.9  30-19 ROOKIE MAIDEN 59 (7335)   1  1 0
31/29 BLUE TIME JEWELS (1134)   57  79  5 41.9  31/29 IN THE CLOSET (978)       1  2 1
32/ 0 END OF THE LINE (446)     56  81  3 40.9  32/30 ROOKIE MAIDEN 64 (7340)   1  2 0
33/32 TRIBAL COUNCIL 9 (152)    25  41  5 37.9  33/38 TRIBE OF DAWN (5298)      1  2 0
34/24 DREAM RIPPERS (3943)       3   5  0 37.5  34/31 DREAM RIPPERS (3943)      1  2 0
35/33*DON'T MAKE SANDY (133)     4   8  0 33.3  35/32*DON'T MAKE SANDY (133)    1  2 0
36/35 UTOPIA RELIGIOSO (752)    12  25  1 32.4  36/36 STONED ROOKIES 3 (7774)   0  3 0
37/34 OBLIVION CLEAVERS (6167)   3   7  0 30.0  37/37 OBLIVION CLEAVERS (6167)  0  3 0
38/37 WAR TREK (45)             16  60  2 21.1  38-39*OF WOLF & MAN 7 (8877)    0  1 0
39-41*OF WOLF & MAN 7 (8877)     0   1  0  0.0  39/ 0*Y (4383)                  0  1 0
40/ 0*Y (4383)                   0   1  0  0.0  40-42 CROSSED THIEVES (1431)    0  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

Well, a good Duelmaster owes a column to the rabble below, even here is the backwater 
of Dwes Eg. So, here are a few words of wisdom.

First of all, happy holidays to one and all. May the spirits of the season infect you 
all with good cheer, and bring you lots of goodies!

We in Clan Neon are glad to see Stormtouched move on. He's had his way with several of 
our colleagues, so it's good he'll only be fighting our immortals from now on.

Not sure how much longer I will reign here in Dwes Eg. Neon wants me to prep for 
tourney fighting, so I may have to trundle off to his special camp for that.  Maybe 
Sunsteel, the Parry Strike, can claim the throne once I abandon it.  That would make 
Neon happy.

May the gods guide your blows straight and true!

                                          -- Maroon Monk, Duelmaster

                                      SPY REPORT

     Thankyouthankyou.  It's great for me, The Unknown Spymaster to be back in DWES 
EG.  Hope you enjoy the show.  Oh, who am I kidding?  I already got paid!  Take a 
look at DAMAGE INC.'s act, as they have a 1-0-0 week and gain 11 places in the team 
ranking.  BLOODSWORDS is no joke as it posted a 3-1-1 week advancing from 3rd place 
to 2nd place.  Hey everybody, watch out for JACK MCCALL, who flew up 15 points in the 
rankings after mashing HEATED FRIAR like a melon.  Keep your eye on this guy.  Ya 
know, some days it doesn't pay to walk out on the sands.  THE NOMAD lost to NIGHTMARE 
and drops 8 points.  Well here's a duelmaster that doesn't sit back and say 
'Challenge me'!  MAROON MONK made a TV challenge against ARCANE this week.  It's a 
proud day for the MONSTER MASH-A stable, as their warrior, ARCANE, ascended the 
Duelmaster's throne.  Advice to bashers--never force anything, just get a bigger 
halberd!   
     But enough of that bunch, let's get on to the wimps who like to avoid battle!  
And hey, kiddies, those of you who didn't avoid DREAM RIPPERS, please raise you hand. 
Wow.  Does DWES EG really have that many liars?  Okay, so I may not be funny, but 
catch YEOMAN JOHNSON's act in the arena.  Those acrobats seem to be fairly deft at 
running from DREAM RIPPERS.  Well dang howdy, but if challenges were votes, HEATED 
FRIAR would be president.  Although it may be a contest he doesn't want to win.  
Getting lots of flowers from sympathetic fans was GORMU, who was successfully 
challenged by STORMTOUCHED who had a mere 19 points more than GORMU.  I just want to 
congratulate GORMU on beating STORMTOUCHED.  He overcame his superior-ranked opponent 
and gained 18 points.  Congrats!  BRIDGE OF HONOR of UTOPIA RELIGIOSO had better have 
a good reason for challenging down 14 points in a TV challenge which he won.  I 
thought BRIDGE OF HONOR showed great skill and promise when he beat HELLSPECTRE.  All 
right, so I slept through it!  Big deal!   
     Death is kind of like a new puppy:  he's always around wanting to play.  (Ha 
Zontani, how's that for a wise saying?).  Proving again that DWES EG is not rated G, 
JACK MCCALL of the DEADWOOD slew the warrior HEATED FRIAR in a rather bloody bout.  
Let's look for a bloodfeud.  The audience likes blood and there was plenty of it 
covering BLACK DAWN as he was driven to an early grave by BLACK FEATHER of the TRIBAL 
COUNCIL 9.  Big man!  BLACK FEATHER kills BLACK DAWN.  Who ya gonna fight next, BLACK 
FEATHER--Minnie Mouse?  I hope FALLEN HEROES has a good enough fighter to beat the 
snot out of BLACK FEATHER.  Congrats to CHUCKLEBONES for revenging the death of his 
teammate (but more importantly, feeding SKELETON a bit of dirt).  Remember:  
alliances are great, but try and take your ally in the arena with you and see what 
happens.   
     Well, there's the manager of the DWES EG giving me the 'cut' sign (or is that 
'They're going to strangle you in the alley?).  C'mon, Leadfoot, let's make some 
tracks.  Its been fun, and I'm sure you enjoyed it (boos).  Now that I've got you 
worked up for Snide Clemens, I'll be leaving-- The Unknown Spymaster  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ARCANE 42829                  9   7  0 111         MONSTER MASH-A (7164)     

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 GORMU 37230                  12   6  0 113         TITANIC RENDERS (6163)    
 SUNSTEEL 58137               17  12  1 110         BLOODSWORDS (1135)        
 NIGHTMARE 42776              12   6  0 109         MONSTER MASH-N (7153)     
-CRIMSON CHALICE 58064         9   1  2 102         SCARLET CHAPEL (1129)     
-EVIN WINDSISTER 55812        12  10  3  98         DISPOSABLE HEROES (621)   
 BRAIN MOLE 42826             10  11  1  92         MONSTER MASH-B (7163)     
 HARPY 42799                   8  10  0  91         MONSTER MASH-H (7158)     

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 THE NOMAD 43737              14  14  2  88         ROOKIE MAIDEN 64 (7340)   
 MAROON MONK 58329             9   2  0  86         SCARLET CHAPEL (1129)     
 BARABOR 32124                12  12  1  83         TRIBE OF DAWN (5298)      
 KING OF TWILIGHT 43493       11   6  2  77         ROOKIE MAIDEN 15 (7291)   
 JACK MCCALL 47733             5   1  1  77         DEADWOOD (8023)           
 BLACK FEATHER 58289           6   0  1  73         TRIBAL COUNCIL 9 (152)    
 FIREKEEPER 57865             17  18  1  70         BLOODSWORDS (1135)        
-ANKHEG 42828                  9  10  0  69         MONSTER MASH-A (7164)     
 BRIDGE OF HONOR 58427         7   1  0  68         UTOPIA RELIGIOSO (752)    

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 FOXCALLER 57822               7   3  0  64         FALLEN HEROES (1749)      
 CHUCKLEBONES 58023            6   5  0  62         THE BLACK LEAGUE (1750)   
 FRESHMAN HERO 58238          14  16  1  61         BLUE TIME JEWELS (1134)   
 GIMBLEJACK 58605              8   4  0  59         THE BLACK LEAGUE (1750)   
 ACT TOGETHER 46379           11  10  1  58         STONED ROOKIES 3 (7774)   
 HEZROU 45937                  8  10  1  58         DAMAGE INC. (7712)        

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SKELETON 6854                10   7  1  56         IN THE CLOSET (978)       
 CHINCO 58410                 10   7  0  55         WAR TREK (45)             

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-SOULSCREAM 58375              5   1  0  53         BLOODSWORDS (1135)        
 ANGRY 58284                   4   3  0  50         DON'T MAKE SANDY (133)    
 HELLSPECTRE 37251             7   9  0  46         OBLIVION CLEAVERS (6167)  
-GROBA TUNNELTHIEF 9592        3   7  0  44         ECCENTRIC DWARVES (1429)  
 SKYBLINDER 58570              5   3  0  43         BLOODSWORDS (1135)        
 KENNY 47727                   4   2  0  43         YEOMAN JOHNSON (8022)     
 SAN TROPEZ 52943              4   3  0  42         ROOKIE PINK 21 (8925)     
 XARO 24716                    7   8  2  41         DREAM RIPPERS (3943)      
-FLAG BEARER 58582             5   2  0  37         FAMOUS GOLFERS (424)      
-RUMRUNNER JOE 55846           5  13  0  36         CROSSED THIEVES (1431)    

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-TURTLE HERDER 55822           5  13  0  32         STRANGE MISSIONS (1458)   
 KLEOPHIA 6993                 2   0  0  32         TURF WARS (1004)          
-MR. GREENJEANS 58505          3   4  0  29         FAMOUS GOLFERS (424)      
 SCREWDRIVER 58571             3   7  0  28         FAMOUS GOLFERS (424)      
-STAR KILLER 58588             3   0  0  28         FALLEN MASTERS (3500)     
-BASE WALKER 57923             5   3  0  25         BASES LOADED, BABY! (1136)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 VOID RAIDER 58650             2   1  0  20         WAR TREK (45)             
 VOIDWALKER 58568              3   2  0  19         END OF THE LINE (446)     
 GUTSLICER 58641               2   2  0  19         BLOODSWORDS (1135)        
-HAVARTI 58597                 2   0  0  18         CHEESE (8021)             
 TYPHOON 58635                 3   1  0  17         BIG STRONG MEN (42)       
-DREADNOUGHT 58420             2   1  0  17         WAR TREK (45)             
-WEDGE ANTILLES 58264          4   4  0  16         FALLEN MASTERS (3500)     
 BLOODY CODEX 58567            2   2  1  16         SCARLET CHAPEL (1129)     
-STORM SHADOW 58409            2   0  0  16         BIG STRONG MEN (42)       
 BURGUNDY BRUTE 58647          2   2  0   9         SCARLET CHAPEL (1129)     
-BRIE 58609                    1   2  0   9         CHEESE (8021)             
-IVORY SKY 58201               0   3  0   5         BLUE TIME JEWELS (1134)   
-NISORI 52682                  0   1  0   1         OF WOLF & MAN 7 (8877)    

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
VETERAN MERCENAR        0  0 0                      SUNSTEEL 58137         656 NONE
HEATED FRIAR 57930      8  9 0 ANGRY CHICKEN 1132   JACK MCCALL 47733      656  
FROZEN TWEETY 11104     8  7 1 AVIAN AVALANCHE 1613 THE NOMAD 43737        652 NOT REVENGED
BLACK DAWN 12005        9 11 0 FALLEN HEROES 1749   BLACK FEATHER 58289    656  
EDUCATED FOOL 43714     9 12 0 ROOKIE MAIDEN 5 7335 BLACK TARAGON 12006    655  
DARK KNIGHT XX 58707    0  1 0 THE BLACK LEAGU 1750 BLACK ORC              656 NONE
LAMENTATIONS 58425      3  1 0 THE BLACK LEAGU 1750 SKELETON 6854          655 JUST REVENGED
BODY BAG 1 58705        0  1 0 WAR TREK 45          HIGH ELF               656 NONE
YO-YO 27025             0  1 0 Y 4383               BLOODY CODEX 58567     656  

                                     PERSONAL ADS

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

DARK KNIGHT XX was butchered by BLACK ORC in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
BODY BAG 1 was viciously butchered by HIGH ELF in a exciting 3 minute Dark Arena duel.
CHUCKLEBONES subdued SKELETON in a 2 minute Bloodfeud fight.
MAROON MONK was vanquished by ARCANE in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge Title brawl.
BRIDGE OF HONOR overpowered HELLSPECTRE in a 2 minute mismatched Challenge match.
STORMTOUCHED was overpowered by GORMU in a 4 minute one-sided Challenge struggle.
FOXCALLER was handily defeated by BRAIN MOLE in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
JACK MCCALL viciously butchered HEATED FRIAR in a 3 minute Challenge duel.
SUNSTEEL assassinated VETERAN MERCENARY in a 1 minute gory uneven duel.
THE NOMAD was overpowered by NIGHTMARE in a 2 minute uneven match.
SPIT ROASTER overpowered KUNG-FU MASTER in a 2 minute one-sided fight.
HARPY demolished GIMBLEJACK in a 1 minute mismatched competition.
BARABOR devastated RAGING ROOSTER in a 1 minute one-sided battle.
BLACK TARAGON devastated ACT TOGETHER in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
FIREKEEPER was viciously subdued by KING OF TWILIGHT in a 3 minute expert's fight.
BLACK FEATHER slaughtered BLACK DAWN in a 1 minute bloody one-sided fray.
XARO was devastated by HEZROU in a 1 minute one-sided brawl.
ANGRY was luckily beaten by FRESHMAN HERO in a exciting 2 minute brutal match.
JEREMY IRONS was luckily beaten by SAN TROPEZ in a 3 minute fight.
CHINCO overcame KENNY in a 2 minute bloody competition.
SKYBLINDER overpowered FRATSFA SLAVE in a 1 minute uneven fight.
TYPHOON was subdued by KLEOPHIA in a 2 minute gruesome bout.
SCREWDRIVER vanquished CULT MEMBER in a 1 minute gory mismatched fray.
CRIMSON CANON was subdued by VOID RAIDER in a 2 minute fight.
VOIDWALKER overpowered PERSISTANT BEGGAR in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
BURGUNDY BRUTE defeated CONVICTED THIEF in a 3 minute novice's duel.
GUTSLICER overpowered PERSISTANT BEGGAR in a tiresome 5 minute uneven match.
BLOODY CODEX slaughtered YO-YO in a 1 minute one-sided fray.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  13         SLASHING ATTACK   28 -  12 -  2      70  |
|AIMED BLOW                       9         AIMED BLOW        62 -  36 -  3      63  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      8         STRIKING ATTACK   22 -  16 -  0      58  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  6         LUNGING ATTACK    67 -  63 -  2      52  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   4         PARRY-LUNGE       10 -  12 -  1      45  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      3         TOTAL PARRY       37 -  48 -  0      44  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     2         BASHING ATTACK    19 -  28 -  2      40  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    1         WALL OF STEEL      6 -  12 -  0      33  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  1         PARRY-STRIKE       5 -  11 -  1      31  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    0         PARRY-RIPOSTE      3 -  13 -  0      19  |

Turn 656 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

WALL OF STEEL      1 -  0     BASHING ATTACK     1 -  3         5  LUNGING ATTACK 
PARRY-LUNGE        2 -  1     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  0         3  SLASHING ATTACK
SLASHING ATTACK    4 -  2     STRIKING ATTACK    0 -  1         1  TOTAL PARRY    
LUNGING ATTACK     8 -  5                                       1  PARRY-STRIKE   
AIMED BLOW         5 -  4                                       1  STRIKING ATTACK
PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  1     
TOTAL PARRY        4 -  4     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
SLASHING ATTACK  ARCANE -22707               9   7  0  111 MONSTER MASH-A (7164)
TOTAL PARRY      GORMU -28306               12   6  0  113 TITANIC RENDERS (6163)
PARRY-STRIKE     SUNSTEEL -7399             17  12  1  110 BLOODSWORDS (1135)
PARRY-LUNGE      KING OF TWILIGHT -22043    11   6  2   77 ROOKIE MAIDEN 15 (7291)
AIMED BLOW       JACK MCCALL -17803          5   1  1   77 DEADWOOD (8023)
WALL OF STEEL    CHUCKLEBONES -7513          6   5  0   62 THE BLACK LEAGUE (1750)
LUNGING ATTACK   ACT TOGETHER -19157        11  10  1   58 STONED ROOKIES 3 (7774)
STRIKING ATTACK  ANGRY -7252                 4   3  0   50 DON'T MAKE SANDY (133)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is SUNSTEEL -7399.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was KING OF TWILIGHT -22043.  The ten other most popular fighters were BRIDGE OF 
HONOR -7109, JACK MCCALL -17803, ANGRY -7252, NIGHTMARE -22760, JEREMY IRONS 3116, 
CHINCO -7126, CHUCKLEBONES -7513, SPIT ROASTER -7585, KLEOPHIA 6993, and VOID RAIDER 
-6886.

The least popular fighter this week was GUTSLICER -6895.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were GORMU -28306, YO-YO 27025, SAN TROPEZ -12593, XARO 24716, BLACK DAWN 
12005, ACT TOGETHER -19157, RAGING ROOSTER -7405, GIMBLEJACK -6931, FOXCALLER -7714, 
and BLOODY CODEX -6969.

The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn:

STORMTOUCHED (82--7376) BIG STRONG MEN

                                NAME CHANGE-O-RAMA

      The gladiator known as Pretty in Pink Johnson came into the guildhouse in a 
state of excitement that sat oddly on his large battered face.  "There are goats on 
the lawn outside the Commission office!"  
      His teammate Slinky Silver raised a languid eyebrow.  "So?"
      "That means a name-change coming!  I can finally change my name to Pinkerton and 
get some respect!"
      "As badly as you fight, who will respect you?" his teammate asked.
      "With a new name, I will fight better, just wait, you'll see.  Because I will 
respect myself!"
      Slinky shook his head.  "Circular reasoning won't help.  You need more 
managerial attention."
      "If my name isn't embarrassing, I'll GET more attention.
      Slinky shook his head again.  "You're expecting a lot of a couple of goats that 
may have been hired to manage the landscaping."

                                  *   *   *   *   *  

     Warrior and team name changes will be accepted beginning February 15 and continuing 
throughout the month of March.  The cost will be $2 per name change.  All proceeds 
will be used to buy goats via Heifer International and will be matched up to $500.  If 
you have names you want to change, please contact Customer Service. -- RSI