Date   : 10/13/2009    Duedate: 11/09/2009


DM-83    TURN-32

This Weeks Top Honors


(83-47) [28-4-1,146]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

CONFESSION                     ORGAN GRINDER
OLDIES (5)                     CHAPEL OF THE GHOULS (21)
(83-47) [28-4-1,146]           (83-124) [3-1-0,18]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

PARALDOXIA                     PARALDOXIA
ZEITGEIST (18)                 ZEITGEIST (18)
(83-112) [12-19-0,104]         (83-112) [12-19-0,104]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. NONSUCH HOUSE (39)          42
2. ZEITGEIST (18)              19      MIDDLE WAY 21 (40)
3. DEATH'S CHOSEN (17)          6      Unchartered Team
4. MIDDLE WAY 21 (40)           2
5. BAD SIGNS (24)               0CHAPEL OF THE GHOULS (21)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1- 1*JUST CHILLIN' (15)         5   1  3 83.3   1/ 1 OLDIES (5)               12  3 0
 2/ 0 MIDDLE WAY 21 (40)        37  18  1 67.3   2/ 0 MIDDLE WAY 21 (40)        9  6 0
 3/ 2 OLDIES (5)               106  54  3 66.3   3/ 4*CHAPEL OF THE GHOUL (21)  8  6 0
 4- 3 BAD SIGNS (24)            94  50  4 65.3   4/ 2 OLLIS HEROES (27)         7  8 1
 5/ 4*CHAPEL OF THE GHOUL (21)  11   8  0 57.9   5/ 3 ZEITGEIST (18)            7  8 0
 6/ 6 OLLIS HEROES (27)         76  82  3 48.1   6/ 9*NONSUCH HOUSE (39)        4  6 0
 7/ 7 ZEITGEIST (18)            67  88  2 43.2   7/ 5 DEATH'S CHOSEN (17)       3  2 0
 8/ 8 DEATH'S CHOSEN (17)       61  89  1 40.7   8- 8*JUST CHILLIN' (15)        1  0 1
 9/ 9*NONSUCH HOUSE (39)         4   6  0 40.0   9- 7 BAD SIGNS (24)            1  4 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

       * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                                        Part V

     Something was seriously awry.  Ebonariex paced the length of his cavernous
"lair," muttering and shaking his head.  Numerous arcane lights and flames danced
around the chamber, each illuminating its own unique mystery.  In the light of this
multihued kaleidoscope, his draconic shadow danced fitfully across walls crisscrossed
with maps and mystic scrawling.  Magic and its workings were the target of his
"dragon greed," something he readily accepted and reveled in.  Objects and writings
both marvelous and trivial were arranged in orderly fashion throughout the length of
this cavern, each carefully catalogued and shelved.
     Ebonariex came to a sudden halt, his eyes narrowing and nostrils flaring.  "I've
warned you not to disturb me here," the words were growled so low as to be almost
     Striding in from the cavern's end, a pale warrior armed in classic Norse regalia
saluted smartly before coming to a halt.  "I was told the matter was urgent, and one
does not question Nomandatter."
     Ebonariex turned to face the intruder.  "One does not question ME," his
surprisingly quick stride brought him within a foot of the warrior before he could
respond, "you may be newly awakened, but that is one rule you will learn swiftly."
     The strange warrior stepped back a few paces.  His expression implied that the
point had been made, but he fumbled for a cylindrical case clipped to his waist.
"I... I was told that you must be given this... that it, uh," the Northwight
swallowed loudly and lifted the sealed scroll case toward Ebonariex, "that it must
not be given to ANY other."
     Ebonariex shook his head in annoyance.  "Then I apologize for my abruptness," he
snatched the case, "but you will learn that it is far from wise to interrupt a dragon
in his home," he gestured to the surroundings.  "Your manager I may be, but I am
STILL a dragon."
     The warrior swallowed loudly and stepped back a few more feet.  "Uh, yes, sir, I
mean, uh...."
     Ebonariex jabbed a taloned finger toward the exit.  "Leave, before you make a
greater fool of yourself."
     As the warrior scrambled for the exit, Ebonariex cracked the case's seal.
*Strange, I didn't know Michael had need of another of Hel's souls yet.*  Careful not
to damage the fragile parchment, he removed the scroll with surprisingly deft hands.
*I suppose the Slaughterhouse must have claimed another.*  Unfurling the scroll, he
couldn't help a moment of confusion.  The handwriting was obviously not Michael's
fluid script.  It took only a few seconds for his draconic mind to grasp the
implications, and by then the trap was closing.  *If Michael didn't write this, then
that wasn't his messenger, and since he controls the Niflheim rift, one of Hel's
minions should NOT have borne this message!*
     Ebonariex swiveled to find where the "messenger" had gone, but already matters
were spinning out of control.  His lair seemed to be contracting around him, and he
knew innately that a very powerful form of magical inversion was being enacted.
*Someone's twisting my wards!*  Fast as thought, he began invoking the keys necessary
to shatter his own abjurant fields.  At the same time, his hands flew through an
intricate series of gestures, summoning numerous bits of magical paraphernalia--
rings, rods, spell-matrix gemstones.  The entire cavern began to tremble as small
fragments of stone tumbled free of the vaulted ceiling.
     "MINE!  This sanctuary is MINE, and you will not usurp it!"  Ebonariex's form
began to swell, his near incoherent rage making it difficult to maintain his humanoid
form.  "Show yourself, coward!  Show yourself, and we will see who is master of THIS
     As Ebonariex systematically shattered his own rebelling wards, the all-but-
forgotten scroll was undergoing a sinister transformation.  Jagged black script
flowed smoothly from the parchment, squiggling across the floor in a disturbingly
intentional manner.  As Ebonariex's roars reached a crescendo, the now scarlet-tinged
"ink" formed a sinister circle of infernal phrases and precise geometric angles.
With a sulphurous puff, the outer ring of symbols flared into life.
     Ebonariex was channeling every ounce of his draconic being to stem the tide of
his mutinous wards.  They had been designed with the express purpose of preventing
draconic access, and whatever else he had become, he was still a dragon.  If the
wards had inverted simultaneously, he would have been helpless before them, but
thankfully they were flipping in an almost domino-like manner.  The draconic mind is
a marvelous thing, and while he had no time to spare for idle speculation, a nagging
thought still surfaced.  *If whoever did this had the power to turn my wards... why
not all at once?*  Crushing a spell matrix, he tore one of the deadlier wards apart.
*It's almost as if someone WANTS me to breach these wards.*  No sooner had the
thought occurred than he sensed the presence of another.
     Half-mad with power, and now more dragon than not, Ebonariex whirled to face
this new threat.  What greeted him, wearing a mocking smile, did nothing to calm his
near-crazed state.  *Anthraxilariss!*
     Towering nearly twelve feet tall, the fiendish half-dragon's scales glinted a
scarlet-tinged ebony in the flickering arcane light.  "My, my, Ebonariex, that's
quite the light show you're putting on," she parted her lips in a terrible grin and
tapped her chin thoughtfully.  "Pity it's all for naught."
     Ebonariex stood frozen in shock as the last of his cascading wards slammed into
place.  It didn't matter now.  His eyes drifted to the now-blank parchment which he
had so carelessly tossed aside, before slowly returning his focus to the intruder.
He'd been duped, and now a greater portion of his magical power was drained.  It
would be hours before his full strength returned.
     Anthraxilariss stepped daintily across the still-smoking symbols that surrounded
her.  "Don't look so distraught, I've no wish to KILL you, Ebonariex," she swayed
toward one of his display tables, absently caressing a silver atheme before looking
coyly over her shoulder, "or should I call you 'Father'?"
     Ebonariex flinched involuntarily.  "Call me what you will," his voice was hoarse
from shouting and thick with emotion, "but you are NO daughter of mine!"
     Anthraxilariss's smoky laugh rang out in the ensuing silence.  "My brother was a
fool, Father, and you yourself gave us our challenge," she pirouetted before assuming
a deadly serious expression.  "I did what I HAD to, Father."
     The contempt in her voice was unmistakable, but Ebonariex knew the truth.  Her
nature had betrayed her.  Evil was inherent to his draconic bloodlines, and though
he'd had seven children, he'd hoped to guide them down a path that would allow them
to overcome that blood.  With Michael's help HE had done it, and he'd sought the same
for his children.  Three had died early, but the other four--three male and one
female--had shown true promise.  His youngest had become a respected mercenary
commander, and another had opened a chain of profitable taverns.  It was his eldest
and his only girl who'd shown the greatest promise.  Locked in their human forms, as
all his children had been, they'd progressed admirably as apprentices to a very
respectable old mage.  His eldest excelled, and then shocked even Ebonariex when he
earned the mantle of Arcane Devotee to the god of Justice.  Not only had he overcome
his evil blood, he'd become a champion of righteousness!  Anthraxilariss had seemed
ecstatic and pleaded for him to visit her newly constructed tower.  She was becoming
quite the sorceress herself, though she had a reputation of being somewhat ruthless.
Morchandium, his son, accepted his sister's invitation.  To this day, Ebonariex knew
not what had transpired in that tower.  Only the evidence of his son's brutal death,
and the ascendance of Anthraxilariss's fiendish power remained to tell the story.
     With a sudden burst of speed, Ebonariex lunged for his daughter, teeth bared and
talons glinting.  She easily rolled to the side of the attack, and his momentum
carried him into the table she'd stood before.  As the black oak splintered beneath
his weight, he snatched a pure teardrop shaped crystal from a shattered compartment.
*Lich's tear.*  The thought was a chill one.  Only the most powerful spell-matrixes
required this sort of gem, and he had never determined what this particular one
     Anthrax let loose a blast of brimstone scented fire.  "Father, you have no idea
how long I've wanted to do this," her voice was an unnatural hiss, "you will die a
thousand deaths for the disgrace you brought upon me."
     Ebonariex had already begun the necessary concentration to free the spell-
matrix, but hellfire was something he had no defense for in his weakened state.  *I
can't keep this up for long.  If she realizes just how weakened I am....*  Gritting
his teeth against the pain, he continued to unlock the matrix.  *Just a few more
seconds, oh daughter of mine.*  He ducked behind another table, snatching up a
merfolk war-trident simply because it was near.  *Got to keep her hesitant.*
Anthraxilariss laughed maniacally, fire gouting from her fingertips in an endless
stream, "Father, for all your lofted power, you have nothing to counter simple fire?"
Her laughter had gained a decidedly lunatic tinge, "Let's see how you manage THIS?"
Ebonariex had a fleeting impression of massive wrenching force, and with a final
desperate effort, he crushed the spell-matrix.  The horrendous sounds of splintered
bone and torn flesh followed him into darkness.

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

     More writings?  I like winning the eighth, but I do not like having to write a
column.  Dag nab it!  My advice to you and for your penance, I offer the following:
1. Pray. No matter what your status, you will need help.
2. Make sure I win again to fulfil MY prayers.
3. Learn to vote conservative.  You cannot afford otherwise.
4. Bet wisely.
5. There are no free rides.
6. Eat your vegetables.
     If you want more free advice, either come to Confession or wait until next time.
             Confession DMVIII

                                      SPY REPORT

     Ready for some action-packed adventure, some thrills, chills and spills?  Well 
fergit it, cause this is the Spyreport for TELORINTHE.  The guys at NONSUCH HOUSE 
like really pulled together to get a 3-2-0 this turn, moving up by 3.  MVP award for 
GUSHAN?  ZEITGEIST's proud of him after beating LETTER SWEATER and getting 20 points. 
Talk about yer major upsets!  YODA's match with ILEOSA cost him a loss of 17 points!  
PARALDOXIA thinks hers 12-19-0 and studly character is good enough to face up to the 
Duelmaster.  Any bets?  Don't you think the Duelmaster is being unfair?  I think 
CONFESSION should let PARALDOXIA be Duelmaster for a while, without fighting about 
it.  I hear the top team insists all their warriors get nine hours sleep.  They want 
photogenic fighters for PR photos.   
     So just why would someone becomes a warrior anyway?  It can't be for these 
really neat Spyreports can it?  ZEITGEIST was TELORINTHE's most avoided team.  Is 
there some award for that?  I don't know what DEATH'S CHOSEN's been doing.  They 
certainly haven't been accepting many fights from ZEITGEIST, that's fer sher.  Like, 
is DRAGGIN' MAIN popular, or what?  He was challenged the most in all of TELORINTHE!  
He's got a 24-8-0, is that good?  I'm not so sure VODI knew all the facts when he 
challenged DRAGGIN' MAIN of OLDIES.  I saw VODI stumbling and dribbling at The 
Dripping Blade last week...  VODI lost to DRAGGIN' MAIN, but he got 3 points.  
DRAGGIN' MAIN won, and got 2 points.  I don't get it.  Speaking of challenging 26 
points above did you hear about TOA JALLER of OLLIS HEROES vs. OLDIES' CUSTODIAN?  
(And how was that intro!) CUSTODIAN overcame TOA JALLER, and was I surprised 
(right!).  But its a good thing CUSTODIAN could stop laughing long enough to give TOA 
JALLER a good pounding.   
     What does a fighter fight for?  I mean, the crowds don't give a hoot if someone 
gets killed.  Not after four more fights.  What if they had a fight and nobody showed 
up?  I'd be out of a job, that's what!!!   
     Remember, blood on a purple robe may stain.  Soak it in cold water, and hand 
wash.  I'm getting tired of writing this stuff, so I'm calling it quits.  I had a fun 
time, see you later-- Debby Tonte  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CONFESSION 47                28   4  1   146       OLDIES (5)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 GUSHAN 222                   14  10  0   112       ZEITGEIST (18)
 PARALDOXIA 112               12  19  0   104       ZEITGEIST (18)
 CUSTODIAN 215                15  10  0   101       OLDIES (5)
 RIZZYN 104                   12  18  0   100       DEATH'S CHOSEN (17)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 DRAGGIN' MAIN 44             24   8  0    98       OLDIES (5)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-STEAL HOME 138               22   7  1    89       BAD SIGNS (24)
 LETTER SWEATER 43            20  12  2    87       OLDIES (5)
 QUITA REMMING 294             8   3  0    87       MIDDLE WAY 21 (40)
 MORWEL 210                   12  13  0    86       DEATH'S CHOSEN (17)
 KARIN LO 292                  7   4  0    84       MIDDLE WAY 21 (40)
 PEP RALLY 46                 16  16  0    73       OLDIES (5)
 VODI 158                     13  19  1    70       OLLIS HEROES (27)
 TOA JALLER 183               12  18  0    70       OLLIS HEROES (27)
 HELGA HOARFROST 237          11  10  0    68       ZEITGEIST (18)
 CYCLIDIA 111                 13  18  1    67       ZEITGEIST (18)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 WASNIS 224                   13  10  0    65       OLLIS HEROES (27)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MELANCHOLIA 239               8  11  0    54       ZEITGEIST (18)
 REVENANT 213                 10  14  0    52       DEATH'S CHOSEN (17)
 ISHTAR 184                   10  19  0    49       DEATH'S CHOSEN (17)
 ILEOSA 263                    6   8  0    49       DEATH'S CHOSEN (17)
 ORRIE POLLAS 295              8   3  1    47       MIDDLE WAY 21 (40)
 MORIS NAHR 291                7   4  0    41       MIDDLE WAY 21 (40)
-OUT FOR A DUCK 275            5   3  0    39       BAD SIGNS (24)
-LUMP 269                      8   4  0    38       BAD SIGNS (24)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SAM TALL 293                  7   4  0    30       MIDDLE WAY 21 (40)
 YODA 274                      5   6  0    28       OLLIS HEROES (27)
 AVATAR 283                    2   3  1    24       OLLIS HEROES (27)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ORGAN GRINDER 124             3   1  0    18       CHAPEL OF THE GHOULS (21)
 WHITEY D'EAGLE 289            1   1  0    17       NONSUCH HOUSE (39)
 ROOK 286                      1   1  0    16       NONSUCH HOUSE (39)
 NOCTURNAL RITES 127           4   0  0    15       CHAPEL OF THE GHOULS (21)
-SNOW DAY 96                   1   0  1    11       JUST CHILLIN' (15)
-SIBERIAN EXPRESS 95           1   0  1    11       JUST CHILLIN' (15)
 SILVERBACK 288                1   1  0    11       NONSUCH HOUSE (39)
 MORBID ANGEL 126              2   2  0     8       CHAPEL OF THE GHOULS (21)
 SIN EATER 123                 2   1  0     7       CHAPEL OF THE GHOULS (21)
-ICE MAKER 93                  1   1  1     6       JUST CHILLIN' (15)
 STEEL MUSE 287                1   1  0     6       NONSUCH HOUSE (39)
-WIND CHILL 94                 1   0  0     4       JUST CHILLIN' (15)
-SUB ARCTIC 97                 1   0  0     3       JUST CHILLIN' (15)
 CORPSE SPITTER 290            0   2  0     2       CHAPEL OF THE GHOULS (21)
 CORNELIUS 285                 0   2  0     2       NONSUCH HOUSE (39)
-CONSTRUCTION ZONE 284         0   1  0     1       BAD SIGNS (24)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
MENDOZA LINE 278        3  3 0 BAD SIGNS 24         AVATAR 283             30   
UNHOLY CONFESSION 125   0  2 0 CHAPEL OF THE GHO 21 ICE MAKER 93           30   

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Chapel Of Ghouls -- Nice point turn!  Was it the prayin' or the scarin'? -- Coach

Another 4-1?  Shucks.  We'll take it.  Way to go, Oldies. -- Coach

Gishan -- Good things come to those that wait. -- Draggin' Main

Paraldoxia -- Well, what did everyone expect? -- Confession DMVII

Khalhim's Dwarf -- Bwahahahahahahahahaha.  Go clean your own toilets! -- Custodian

Venemous Concubine -- NO!  You cannot wear it! -- Letter Sweater

     But she's cold!

Toa Jaller -- Well done.  You took the pep out of the rally. -- pep Rally

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

GUSHAN devastated LETTER SWEATER in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
PARALDOXIA was unbelievably bested by CONFESSION in a 6 minute Challenge Title battle.
VODI was outwaited by DRAGGIN' MAIN in a slow 26 minute gory master's Challenge brawl.
TOA JALLER was demolished by CUSTODIAN in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge competition.
ILEOSA vanquished YODA in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
WHITEY D'EAGLE savagely defeated SIN EATER in a 5 minute amateur's Challenge brawl.
ROOK unbelievably bested MORBID ANGEL in a 2 minute beginner's Challenge duel.
SILVERBACK overpowered CORPSE SPITTER in a 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
STEEL MUSE was luckily beaten by NOCTURNAL RITES in a 7 minute Challenge fight.
RIZZYN defeated KARIN LO in a 2 minute brutal match.
QUITA REMMING devastated CYCLIDIA in a 1 minute mismatched conflict.
MORWEL subdued HELGA HOARFROST in a popular 1 minute master's match.
ISHTAR was handily defeated by WASNIS in a 2 minute one-sided conflict.
PEP RALLY vanquished ORRIE POLLAS in a action packed 1 minute mismatched bout.
REVENANT was handily defeated by KUNG-FU MASTER in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
MORIS NAHR was bested by MELANCHOLIA in a 2 minute brawl.
AVATAR was defeated by SAM TALL in a exciting 5 minute novice vs. veteran bout.
CORNELIUS was overpowered by ORGAN GRINDER in a 2 minute bloody mismatched fight.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                   7         TOTAL PARRY       28 -  12 -  0      70  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  5         PARRY-RIPOSTE     14 -   9 -  0      61  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   5         BASHING ATTACK    21 -  14 -  0      60  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      4         STRIKING ATTACK   20 -  19 -  1      51  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  4         WALL OF STEEL      6 -   6 -  0      50  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     3         LUNGING ATTACK    29 -  31 -  3      48  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         PARRY-LUNGE       13 -  14 -  0      48  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      2         AIMED BLOW         9 -  10 -  0      47  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    2         PARRY-STRIKE      11 -  13 -  2      46  |
|AIMED BLOW                       1         SLASHING ATTACK   21 -  28 -  1      43  |

Turn  32 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

AIMED BLOW         1 -  0     PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  2         3  LUNGING ATTACK 
TOTAL PARRY        4 -  0     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  2         2  TOTAL PARRY    
BASHING ATTACK     3 -  2     WALL OF STEEL      0 -  2         2  BASHING ATTACK 
LUNGING ATTACK     4 -  3                                       1  WALL OF STEEL  
PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  1                                       1  SLASHING ATTACK

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
TOTAL PARRY      CONFESSION 47              28   4  1  146 OLDIES (5)

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
STRIKING ATTACK  GUSHAN 222                 14  10  0  112 ZEITGEIST (18)
BASHING ATTACK   CUSTODIAN 215              15  10  0  101 OLDIES (5)
SLASHING ATTACK  LETTER SWEATER 43          20  12  2   87 OLDIES (5)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    WASNIS 224                 13  10  0   65 OLLIS HEROES (27)
LUNGING ATTACK   ORRIE POLLAS 295            8   3  1   47 MIDDLE WAY 21 (40)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is PARALDOXIA 112.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was PARALDOXIA 112.  The ten other most popular fighters were WHITEY D'EAGLE 289, 
46, GUSHAN 222, SIN EATER 123, and KARIN LO 292.

The least popular fighter this week was DRAGGIN' MAIN 44.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were VODI 158, CORNELIUS 285, REVENANT 213, CYCLIDIA 111, NOCTURNAL