Date   : 08/14/2012    Duedate: 09/10/2012


DM-83    TURN-69

This Weeks Top Honors


MIDDLE WAY 21 (40)
(83-291) [25-23-1,109]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

MORIS NAHR                     POSITION IS EMPTY
MIDDLE WAY 21 (40)             
(83-291) [25-23-1,109]         

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

OLDIES (5)                     OLDIES (5)
(83-308) [16-8-1,66]           (83-325) [8-10-0,54]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. OLDIES (5)                  31
2. MIDDLE WAY 21 (40)          29      OLDIES (5)
3. PUNY ORC PELOTON (8)         6      Unchartered Team
4. THE MYRMIDONS (48)           0
5. OLLIS HEROES (27)            0      2010 WORDINGS (45)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 OLDIES (5)               238 107  8 69.0   1/ 1 OLDIES (5)               12  3 0
 2/ 2 PUNY ORC PELOTON (8)      30  20  1 60.0   2/ 7 MIDDLE WAY 21 (40)        7  8 0
 3- 5*THE MYRMIDONS (48)        19  16  0 54.3   3- 3 OLLIS HEROES (27)         6  4 0
 4- 6 OLLIS HEROES (27)        135 133  6 50.4   4- 2*THE MYRMIDONS (48)        5  5 0
 5/ 7 MIDDLE WAY 21 (40)       114 126  4 47.5   5/ 4 PUNY ORC PELOTON (8)      4  6 1

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

                        6 Months Ago -- The Eastern Deserts

     The battlefield was shrouded in darkness, save for the torches carried by a
number of the soldiers and several magical orbs of light, which circled above lazily
at the command of the wizards.  The engagement had been a short one, as three huge,
lumbering Phase Dragons burst from the nearby caverns and ran straight into the fully
prepared army.  The archers took a savage toll on the beasts before the elite
gladiators charged in to finish the fray.  As the soldiers cleared the massive bodies
from the cavern mouth a small group of hooded men gathered a short distance away.
     "There is no question about it.  These are creatures from the Kaikwok Gate."
said Rillion, thoughtfully stroking his short beard. "I just don't understand how
they are accessing our world again despite the gate being completely sealed."
     Alongside the mage, the manager known as The Greek Guy sharpened a gleaming
battle axe.  "The Dark One said something about a rift or tear.  I'm not really up on
Gate Metaphysics, Rill.  All I know is they're here and they shouldn't be."
     "Managerr said they wouldn't be gone long." Added Rascally Rabbit, looking far
more sinister than his manager name implied, "and that we needed to hold this area
until they got back.  So that's what we need to do."
     One of the scouts shouted a brief warning and the soldiers assumed battle
formation once more.  The three arena managers stepped back behind a shield thrown up
by Rillion and prepared for a second engagement.  Within a moment, a snarling wave of
Jaguar warriors erupted from the cavern, pouring out toward the soldiers.
     The Greek Guy took the point and motioned to the troops.  "Move to engage!  Form
up!  Initiate Shield Wall!  Archers, volley fire!"
     A cloud of enchanted arrows hissed into the night, and then descended to shower
death upon the charging Jaguar warriors.  Scores of the beast men went down under the
fire but it was just a small fraction of their overall numbers.  Within a moment the
first ranks of the jaguars leapt upon the prepared troops, tearing and rending with
their razor sharp talons and fangs.  Despite the massive numbers, the shield wall
held, and the gate beasts seemed to be taking the worst of the exchange.  After a
moment, however, the Jaguar Warriors found some holes in the ranks and burst through,
creating havoc amongst the defenders.
     "Second line-- advance!  First line-- fall back!"
     The first defensive line fell back in an organized retreat, while a second wave
of defenders moved up.  Within a moment, they formed up to from a second defensive
line, while those formerly in the front line moved back to regroup.  At the same
time, another wave of arrows showered from the sky and cut down the confused Jaguar
     "We learned a lot from the first Gate incursion." Rillion commented to RR.  "The
Jaguar Warriors can be a terror one on one, but they don't fight well in organized
battles.  Those enchanted arrows help a lot, too.  One shot, one kill."
     Despite the confident words, the Jaguars were inflicting a savage toll on the
soldiers.  It was true, that the majority of the troops were gladiators and former
gladiators who were now protected by immortality magic, but still if they were
consumed by the Gate monsters, there would be no return.  As the battle raged, it
became clear that there were too many Jaguar warriors for the small army to defeat.
Rillion flicked his staff and sent a fireball into the Jaguar's flank.  It erupted
into a flaming explosion of heat and pressure, sending scores of the beast men
flying.  As he did so, the Rabbit gathered a nearby troop and rushed to cut off a
Jaguar offensive.
     The Greek Guy motioned for the trumpeters to sound the retreat.  "Back up the
hill!  Form defensive units.  Skirmishers forward to slow the advance."
     "This is not going well." Rillion commented as he blasted away a row of Jaguars
with a bolt of lightning.
     As he prepared a second bolt, he noticed a large vortex opening nearby.  A
travelling Gate was being opened.  Which meant either more Jaguars, or...?
     A second small army of heavily armored gladiator-soldiers appeared.  At their 
head rode Managerr, on a white stallion, and the Dark One, on his black gelding.
They motioned and their warriors charged into the Jaguar Warriors flank.  The numbers
now more even, the first army charged down the hill.  Within minutes the Jaguar
forces were destroyed.  Only a handful survived to flee back into the cavern.
     "Good timing."  Rascally Rabbit chuckled, his eyebrow arched, "You couldn't have
arrived just a touch sooner?"
     "It took us a while to scout out the ruins of our old training grounds on the
other side of the Kaikwok Gate." Managerr responded, "We stopped by to gather the
second division, as we thought we might need the manpower.  Apparently we were right.
The other side of the old Gate is completely empty.  They are all gone."
     "Gone?  There were millions of beings on that world.  You're telling me that
they're all gone?"
     The Dark One waved his staff and a vision of the Kaikwok Gate world appeared.
It was decimated.  Forests burned and blasted, temples shattered, riverbeds and lakes
dried up and shriveled.  "As he said.  All gone.  We detected residual magic.  Gate
magic.  I am not certain if it was left from an invader that came, exterminated that
world and enslaved what was left of the population or possibly the denizens of that
world developed Gate travel on its own and departed a dying world.  We have no way of
knowing which is the case."
     The Greek Guy received a message from one of the army runners, read it quickly
and motioned to his fellows.  "The engineers are ready."
     He motioned to a figure high up on the cliffside above the cave.  In a moment, a
thunderous explosion shook the ground.  Instantly a shower of boulders, shards of
stone and dirt rained down, burying the cavern opening under half the mountainside.
     Rillion nodded.  "That will do for this Gate access, but I expect there will be

           Three Months Ago -- The Dark Citadel -- Isle of of the Eye

     The Brotherhood of the Blade sat around the titanic obsidian table where they
often planned and plotted together.  This occasion was more serious, however, than
their usual debates over gladiatorial tactics and battle plans.  They were instead
embroiled in a lengthy discourse regarding the ongoing Gate incursions that had been
     "Sheila and her mage council can't figure out how to stop it." Managerr noted.
     "Sheila?"  The Greek Guy chuckled, "First name basis now, are we?"
     Managerr smirked at him.  "They can close the Gate opening when they find it,
but then another one opens somewhere else within a few days.  At some point they are
going to get access in a remote area and we won't find it in time.  If they can move
in a large force, it will be next to impossible to beat them back and close the
access.  It will be a mess."
     "And we still have no idea who is behind this and what's going on." Rillion
     "What we do know is that we don't have enough days in the week to keep running
around closing gates and fighting battles.  We're shorthanded.  Zalgor's missing in
action and Caesar is off-world fighting wars of his own.  Without their forces it's
even worse."  Rascally Rabbit shuffled through his roster.  "I've lost 15% of my
personal troops and I know you all have suffered losses as well."
     Managerr agreed.  "We're definitely short on members.  Mad Max and Tig Toad are
retired.  With Zalgor inactive and Caesar battling Picts or whatnot, we are at five
members.  Just barely enough in normal times and way short in these times."
     "We need to recruit some new members." The Greek Guy stated.  "We have a
tournament coming up and can talk to some managers there.  We need to find those who
are like-minded and who would get along with the rest of us, which is not always
     "Agreed." said the Dark One from beneath his cowl, "We can then announce our new
members.  We need more men and more troops.  I think we all have some candidates in
mind.  First, they must have no other allegiances.  Second, they must have the
martial knowledge we expect from our members.  And, the Greek Guy mentioned, they
have to be able to deal with us."

                        Present Day -- the Isle of the Eye
     One of the arena scribes rushed into the GC headquarters.  "We need 100 runners
to travel to every city in the land.  We're being paid 1,000 gold sovereigns to get
the news out!"
     "What news?"
     "The Brotherhood of the Blade is expanding!!  Here is the announcement!"
              *****                   *****                   *****
     Hear Ye!  Hear Ye!  The Brotherhood of the Blade has chosen to add the following
new members to our ranks.  Effective immediately, the following managers have been
offered and have accepted membership to the Brotherhood:

May their successes be great and their victories many under our banner!

     Officially -- Managerr -- Grand High Moose of the Brotrotherhood of the Blade

       * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                              ---===SLOW ARENA NEWS===---

 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 351): IMA SLAYER of YOU PAY I SLAY (Khisanth, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 348): TAXES of EXPENSE ACCOUNT (Finance Manager, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 302): WOXTON of KIWI CONNECTION (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 324): ANDROMEDA of DARQUE FORCES (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 318): FROSTY of FAST FOOD (Madwand, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 305): 4-H of LIFE IMPACTS (Coach, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 299): ZOUM LA BOUSE of BLOOD AND GUTS! (Le Pentarque, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 283): TONG PAK FU of ASIAN INVASION (Pec Killer, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 276): APPLESEED of IMPROVED ILLUSION (Phantasm, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 252): B'ZIADUL of WRATHMEN XIV (Kharadmon, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 253): FILING FEE of BASH BROS LAWYER (Assurnasirbanipal)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 253): BOOB of PALINDROMES (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  83 TELORINTHE (turn 68): MORIS NAHR of MIDDLE WAY 21 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM 106 CRYSALIS (turn 251): MAD CAT of INSP GADGETS MINIONS (The Mun, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 351): YOU PAY I SLAY (Khisanth, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 348): DODGE BULLETS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 346): THE STORM REAVERS (?, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 302): KIWI CONNECTION (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 324): DARQUE FORCES (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 318): VEGAN CANNIBALS (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 299): WAH CHING (Pec Killer, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 283): ASIAN INVASION (Pec Killer, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 276): IMPROVED ILLUSION (Phantasm, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 252): ARENAS III (Kharadmon?, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 253): BASH BROS CABLE (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 253): SUPER STARS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  83 TELORINTHE (turn 68): OLDIES (Coach, mgr.)
 DM 106 CRYSALIS (turn 251): SPARF! et al (Crip, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 348): TAXES of EXPENSE ACCOUNT (Finance Manager, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 322): CELESTIAL ROSE of DARQUE FORCES (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 318): SALAD SLAYER of VEGAN CANNIBALS (The Anarchist, mgr.)
                   (turn 317): ARTICHOKE ON THIS of VEGAN CANNIBALS (The Anarchist)
                               SPAWN of FANTASTIC FIVE (?, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 253): BOOB of PALINDROMES (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)

                                      SPY REPORT

     Much has changed in TELORINTHE since last I was here.  Never fear, Olaf Modeen 
adapts to many situations, as do all successful fighters.  Ya gotta be quick on yer 
feet!  Keep your elbow off the table!  Thrust!  Block out the pain!  MIDDLE WAY 21 is 
now ranked 2nd with a 3-2-0 turn.  What's with PETRO SALM?  He actually beat 
TELORINTHE's DANGEROUS CRIMINAL, and walked away with 16 more points from the fight.  
Laughs were big at OLDIES while they watched CUSTODIAN clobber BAD BAD BASSO.  He 
lost 9 points and got bruised from objects thrown from the stands.  CIRCLE K was 
reminded on the sands why MORIS NAHR is Duelmaster.  I suppose you want to hear some 
rumors and dirty gossip about your fellow fighters?  Tough!   
     If at first you don't succeed, avoid.  That'll get you in the Spyreports.  How 
well I know the feeling of being in the most avoided team!  Don't fall out of 
practive, BLACK LIGHTNING II!  Management must be dealin', as the boys at OLDIES 
ain't reelin'!  BLACK LIGHTNING II's mad!  What do people see in SAM TALL?  His 
20-28-0?  MIDDLE WAY 21 ain't talkin', but he's got 94 points.   
     Warriors of TELORINTHE unite.  You have only your games to lose!  Is it my 
imagination, or are fighters getting younger every day?  To die so young, so 
     Who knows what the future holds for a warrior.  More fights, there's no doubt.  
The end of another Spyreport!  That's cause for celebration in my book!  Remember--a 
good fighter needs both good skills and good luck.  Until next time,-- Olaf Modeen  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MORIS NAHR 291               25  23  1   109       MIDDLE WAY 21 (40)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SAM TALL 293                 20  28  0    94       MIDDLE WAY 21 (40)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-YODA 274                     13  20  0    89       OLLIS HEROES (27)
 LIFE SCOUT 316               17   6  0    84       OLDIES (5)
 ROID FLOYD 61                 8   2  0    81       PUNY ORC PELOTON (8)
 CIRCLE K 354                  8   2  0    72       OLDIES (5)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CONTRACT BRIDGE 308          16   8  1    66       OLDIES (5)
-INDIANA JONES 297             9  11  0    65       OLLIS HEROES (27)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 PETRO SALM 337                8   9  0    54       MIDDLE WAY 21 (40)
 CUSTODIAN 325                 8  10  0    54       OLDIES (5)
-BEN10 306                     9   3  2    49       OLLIS HEROES (27)
 LILLIPUTAIN LEVI 62           7   3  0    41       PUNY ORC PELOTON (8)
 MELANIE OBERN 324             9  10  1    38       MIDDLE WAY 21 (40)
 BAD BAD BASSO 58              7   3  0    38       PUNY ORC PELOTON (8)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ROSANA SABEL 326              6  12  0    32       MIDDLE WAY 21 (40)
-HARRY POTTER 317              5   4  1    29       OLLIS HEROES (27)
-HECTOR PASCALS 359            3   4  0    28       THE MYRMIDONS (48)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-GARKEN 356                    4   3  0    17       THE MYRMIDONS (48)
-NICKOTICKO 367                1   2  0    17       OLLIS HEROES (27)
-AUNTY JACK 357                4   3  0    16       THE MYRMIDONS (48)
-BARLDEN 358                   4   3  0    15       THE MYRMIDONS (48)
 POSTAL TURNCOAT 369           1   0  1    14       PUNY ORC PELOTON (8)
-BOMREX 365                    3   2  0    13       THE MYRMIDONS (48)
 SPORT 368                     1   1  0    12       OLDIES (5)
 SPANISH BEEF 366              1   2  0     5       PUNY ORC PELOTON (8)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
CONVICTED THIEF         0  0 0                      POSTAL TURNCOAT 369    69  NONE

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Bomrex -- Ahhhh.  Picking on my newest, Sport, I see.  Random matches can be so
unfair to the loser.  (You can quote me on that.)  I shall have to see what I can do
about this. -- Coach

Garken -- I cleaned your clock!  It beats cleaning toilets.  Not that I am comparing
you to a loo, you know; it is just that I am excited as good news like this has been
miniscule.  Yes! -- Custodian

Harry Potter -- I may be a muggle, but I sure can count cards.  I was watching "Goran
On Bridge" at twelve in my youth.  (And understanding it.) -- Contract Bridge

Everytime I see your name, M. Chardinee, I think of beef cattle.  I enjoyed the
steak. -- Circle K

     I think of beet greens, myself.

Sam Tall -- I didn't think it was boring.  I rather enjoyed it.  What's wrong with
all those fans who term it "boring"?  They need to work on their own merit badges. --
Life Scout

Jorja -- There are days when your quotes bring me to chuckles.  This one did it!
"Custodian -- Better not quit your day job. -- Melanie Obern" -- Coach (still
laughing at Jorja's cleverness)

Morris Nahr -- We salute for being the fine Duelmaster that you are.  Kudos! -- Coach
and The Oldies

Contact Bridge -- Too much coffee when I was young so it stunted my growth.
Otherwise I'd have been 7'2" just like all the rest of Slugbait's crew. -- Levi

     Must be hard to feel left out like that.

Circle K -- Or pedal slower  and longer. -- Bad Bad

Coach -- 0-2 beat down two turns ago to put you up in the series 3-1.  You hurt my
feelings so I skipped last turn. -- slugbait

Sorry no personals today.  Ran out of time and energy. -- Jorja and whoever she's
running here
P.S.  Morris says he'll do a column next time even if he loses the title.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

ROID FLOYD was unbelievably bested by SAM TALL in a 3 minute Challenge fight.
LILLIPUTAIN LEVI subdued ROSANA SABEL in a 3 minute Challenge melee.
MORIS NAHR demolished CIRCLE K in a 1 minute uneven Title fight.
LIFE SCOUT outwaited M. CHARDINEE in a popular 12 minute contest.
CONTRACT BRIDGE overpowered MELANIE OBERN in a 1 minute mismatched match.
BAD BAD BASSO was viciously subdued by CUSTODIAN in a crowd pleasing 3 minute fight.
PETRO SALM devastated DANGEROUS CRIMINAL in a 1 minute one-sided competition.
SPORT viciously subdued SPANISH BEEF in a action packed 2 minute beginner's melee.
POSTAL TURNCOAT assassinated CONVICTED THIEF in a 1 minute uneven duel.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|TOTAL PARRY                      4         PARRY-STRIKE      16 -   8 -  0      67  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  3         AIMED BLOW        14 -   8 -  1      64  |
|AIMED BLOW                       3         BASHING ATTACK     5 -   3 -  1      63  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   2         STRIKING ATTACK   17 -  11 -  0      61  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    2         TOTAL PARRY       25 -  17 -  0      60  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  1         SLASHING ATTACK   21 -  19 -  1      53  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      0         LUNGING ATTACK    15 -  14 -  0      52  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     0         WALL OF STEEL     21 -  22 -  0      49  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    0         PARRY-LUNGE        7 -   8 -  0      47  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   0         PARRY-RIPOSTE      3 -   4 -  1      43  |

Turn  69 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

LUNGING ATTACK     2 -  0     AIMED BLOW         1 -  2         3  LUNGING ATTACK 
STRIKING ATTACK    1 -  0     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  0         2  SLASHING ATTACK
TOTAL PARRY        3 -  1     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  0         2  TOTAL PARRY    
SLASHING ATTACK    2 -  1     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  0         2  AIMED BLOW     
                              BASHING ATTACK     0 -  0         1  PARRY-LUNGE    
                              WALL OF STEEL      0 -  2         1  STRIKING ATTACK

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
SLASHING ATTACK  MORIS NAHR 291             25  23  1  109 MIDDLE WAY 21 (40)
TOTAL PARRY      LIFE SCOUT 316             17   6  0   84 OLDIES (5)
AIMED BLOW       ROID FLOYD 61               8   2  0   81 PUNY ORC PELOTON (8)
STRIKING ATTACK  CONTRACT BRIDGE 308        16   8  1   66 OLDIES (5)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is CONTRACT BRIDGE 308.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was CUSTODIAN 325.  The ten other most popular fighters were SPORT 368, ROSANA 

The least popular fighter this week was LIFE SCOUT 316.  The other ten least popular 

The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:

MORIS NAHR (83-291) MIDDLE WAY 21 (40)