DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER
Date : 07/21/2020 Duedate: 08/17/2020
TELORINTHE ARENA
DM-83 TURN-171
This Weeks Top Honors
THE DUELMASTER IS
J.J. WATT
NFL NETWORK (63)
(83-535) [19-7-0,111]
Chartered Recognition Leader Unchartered Recognition Leader
HURRICANE SEASON HOT YOGA
BAD SIGNS (24) RIFF-RAFF CREW (69)
(83-507) [13-9-3,113] (83-602) [7-2-0,35]
Popularity Leader This Weeks Favorite
KING CHAPPA SIR ROUND
KAME HOUSE (61) QUEEN'S GUARD (68)
(83-527) [15-10-1,92] (83-590) [8-3-0,89]
THE CURRENT TOP TEAM
THE FEROCIOUS FIVE (64)
TEAMS ON THE MOVE TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name Point Gain Chartered Team
1. IRONSKULL ORCS (71) 40
2. HOUSE OF FUR (62) 32 BAD SIGNS (24)
3. THE DRAGONS (65) 32 Unchartered Team
4. SPEARPEOPLE (72) 24
5. BAD SIGNS (24) 21 RIFF-RAFF CREW (69)
The Top Teams
Career Win-Loss Record W L K % Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns W L K
1/ 2 BAD SIGNS (24) 336 204 30 62.2 1/ 1 THE FEROCIOUS FIVE (64) 11 4 1
2/ 1*RIFF-RAFF CREW (69) 27 18 0 60.0 2/ 6 NFL NETWORK (63) 10 5 0
3/11*IRONSKULL ORCS (71) 6 4 0 60.0 3/ 5 THE DRAGONS (65) 9 5 0
4/ 3 THE FEROCIOUS FIVE (64) 73 54 4 57.5 4/ 7 BAD SIGNS (24) 9 6 0
5/ 4 THE DRAGONS (65) 67 50 3 57.3 5/ 2 KAME HOUSE (61) 7 5 1
6/ 5 KAME HOUSE (61) 67 53 4 55.8 6/ 9*EMPIRE STRIKES OUT (70) 7 8 2
7/ 6 CONJURE UP THE SUN (60) 44 36 1 55.0 7/ 3 SORCERER KINGS (66) 7 8 1
8/ 7 NFL NETWORK (63) 65 60 5 52.0 8/12*IRONSKULL ORCS (71) 6 4 0
9/ 0 QUEEN'S GUARD (68) 28 26 0 51.9 9/10 HOUSE OF FUR (62) 6 8 0
10/ 8 HOUSE OF FUR (62) 66 63 1 51.2 10/ 8 SCORPIO'S LIKES: (57) 6 9 1
11/10 SORCERER KINGS (66) 59 66 5 47.2 11/ 4*RIFF-RAFF CREW (69) 6 9 0
12/ 9*EMPIRE STRIKES OUT (70) 7 8 2 46.7 12/11 CONJURE UP THE SUN (60) 4 6 0
13/ 0 AAAARRGH HAMMERZ (3) 51 69 3 42.5 13/ 0*SPEARPEOPLE (72) 2 3 1
14/ 0*SPEARPEOPLE (72) 2 3 1 40.0 14/ 0 AAAARRGH HAMMERZ (3) 2 3 0
15/12 SCORPIO'S LIKES: (57) 50 119 4 29.6 15/ 0 QUEEN'S GUARD (68) 0 5 0
'*' Unchartered team '-' Team did not fight this turn
(###) Avoid teams by their Team Id ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank
TEAM SPOTLIGHT
'Tales from Telo' by Hammer the WordSmith
In the reverant and worshipful fear of the Lord there is strong confidence, and
His children shall always have a place of refuge. --- Proverbs 14:26 Amplified
Classic
Thia Salanora was busy making things ready at the Aaaarrgh Hammerz guild house for the
Veteran Manager known far and wide as Hammer. She was a beautiful Half Elf who had
been left in charge of his guild house in case the Veteran Manager ever decided to
return to Telorinthe Arena. Thia was excited when Hammer contacted her to get the
Aaaarrgh Hammerz ready to do battle on the Telorinthe Arena Sands!
[TIME JUMP]
Hammer was escorted by Thia Salanora into the Great Dining Hall to dine and share his
heart with his Aaaarrgh Hammerz guild of 'Rusty Warriors'!
Once they were all seated, Thia began the conversation with an update of what was
going on in the Telorinthe Arena: "Arenamaster Salgreid was delighted to hear that
your Aaaarrgh Hammerz have been registered to resume fighting next cycle!"
Hammer nodded his approval as his eyes stared intently at each of the assembled
gladiators one-by-one, before replying, "How is that ole Half Orc doing these days?"
"He is happier than a tick on a hound dog," she replied matter-of-factly. "There is a
Pack of Young Swords who have taken up Managing Stables since you have been gone! They
are a Pack of Cut Throats! They have the Blood Lust on the Arena Sands!"
"No Wonder Ole Salgreid Is Happier Than A Tick On A Dog!"
Hammer looked at his Rusty Stable of Warriors and grinned from ear-to-ear! "Do Not
Worry My Friends," admonished the Veteran Manager, "I Will Not Send You To Fight By
Torch Light Any Time Soon!"
The Five Rusty Warriors Lifted Their Tankards In A Hearty Cheer: "Hail Hammer! Hail
Hammer! Hail Hammer!"
When they had all calmed down, the Half Elf Thia Salanora continued her briefing by
saying, "The current Duelmaster is J.J. Watt of NFL Network, managed by the Young
Sword known as Channel Master. He has been making a name for himself by leading the
Young Swords with 5 Kills to his guild's credit thus far!
"Not far behind him is Nemesis of The Ferocious Five with 4 Kills!
"Then there are The Dragons with 3 Kills managed by Dragon Master who is also known to
be Blood Thirsty!
"Queen Artemis has managed 1 Kill with her House Of Fur gladiators!
"Agent R also has 1 Kill with his Empire Strikes Out gladiators!
"Then there are the Old Timers like Dark Oracle who has racked up 30 Kills with his
Bad Signs! Plus your Old Friend Master Darque whose Sorcerer Kings have racked up 5
Kills! You also have Riff-Raff, Floyd, Boss Rat, Weirdo and Scorpio to watch out for
on the Telorinthe Arena Sands!"
Hammer smiled a great smile of deep satisfaction by merely replying, "I also hear that
Gentle Ben is returning! He Is Not So Gentle!"
Then he addressed his Five Rusty Warriors: Outlander Hammer, Valentine Hammer,
Vengeance Hammer, 2017 Brawl Hammer and Remembers Hammer.
"I Expect Some Entertaining Fights," the Veteran Manager decreed, "Or You Should At
Least Die Trying!"
[TIME JUMP]
The Warty Toad tavern was as despicable as Hammer had remembered it being, but it was
by far the favorite watering hole and dining choice of the Telorinthe Arena Managers &
Gladiators! It was here one night before the debut of his Aaaarrgh Hammerz guild on
the Telorinthe Arena Sands that the Veteran Manager found himself in a pleasant
discourse of conversation with Weirdo of the Conjure Up The Sun stable of gladiators.
They made a fine pair of contrasts to the casual observer, what with Hammer clad in
his Elven Chain Mail underneath his long-hooded dark-green cloak, while Weirdo sported
his feathered hat and trademark pink bath robe.
Weirdo was pontificating about his claim-to-fame as the 'Coward of Niytyole', what
with his penchant for killing warriors, down challenging and talking trash --
especially in the No Tourney Fast Arenas in Seam and Shadowspire.
Strange and bizarre was he, but the Veteran Manager known far and wide as Hammer had
taken an instant liking to Weirdo, especially regarding his knowledge of the current
state of various Arenas and the Tourney atmosphere in recent cycles! Hammer made a
mental note of the Arenas where the Veteran Manager would be likely to activate some
of his Old Rusty Stables -- or possibly acquire some New Stables!
Weirdo was delighted to learn that Hammer was activating his Aaaarrgh Hammerz in Arena
83, in addition to those that the Veteran Manager had already activated in 45, 47 and
8 in recent weeks!
When the conversation drifted to the current state of Telorinthe Arena, the bizarre
Weirdo turned all-serious for a few moments, before warning Hammer not to
underestimate the prowess and managing ability of the Young Swords -- the Name that
Thia Salanora had Coined to Describe the New Managers in Telorinthe Arena -- namely
Nemesis, Channel Master, Agent R, Dragon Master and Queen Artemis.
Hammer acknowledged that probably most -- if not all -- of the Managers & Teams in
Telorinthe Arena were Not to Be Underestimated, what with the likes of Riff-Raff,
Floyd, Boss Rat and Master Darque lurking about, plus Others of their ilk, including
the rumored soon return of Gentle Ben with his Queen's Guard stable!
As the night wore on, the conversation drifted to what had drawn Hammer back to the
Dueling Community? His answer was simply that he had heard the Call of a Contest on
the winds & was interested in knowing which Old Manager Friends were still Dueling?
It was the Wheel Of Misfortune Contest in Arena 45 hosted by Master Darque that
stirred Hammer to activate his mediocre stable of Abattoir 5 Blades!
Then the remembrances of the Morya Madness from 17 years ago had sparked an unction in
the Veteran Manager to contact the Gladiatorial Commission --after studying the
various Arenas with their Future Turn Numbers - to see if approval would be granted to
run a Kontest in Kaltos with RSI Approved Prizes, similar to what Hammer had hosted in
the Morya Madness that had run for over 2 years aka 28 Turns!
Weeks Ago, the Veteran Manager had contacted the Gladiatorial Commission about hosting
a Kontest in Kaltos Arena -- with a Petition for Certain RSI Approved Prizes -- Well
Before the Time that Hammer had been informed about Any Contests being planned in
Primus, Arena 32, or in North Fork Arena! Hammer had just received confirmation that
the Gladiatorial Commission had approved his Kontest pitch for Kaltos Arena, Beginning
with the DM 5 Turn 926 due date February 1, 2021, then Ending the Kontest -- After 25
Rounds -- on the January 3, 2022 due date for Turn 950 in Kaltos Arena!
"I played around with some Contest Names," explained the Veteran Manager, "like the
Hammer Historical Hysteria -- or -- Kaltos Klassik Kontest Kraziness -- in the vein of
the Morya Madness!
"The Gladiatorial Commission has approved the Prizes for such Klassik Morya Madness
Kategories as the 'First Initiate Duelmaster' and the 'Top Ten Styles' -- Where the
Warrior Name & Style Must Be Declared in the Personal Ads to Be Eligible!
"Just like in the Morya Madness, the Top Ten Styles in the Arena By the Recognition
Points Rankings -- Listed in the DM 5 Turn 950 Newsletter -- are Awarded the Favorite
Weapon Reveal for Any Active Warrior on that Team that Fought on Turn 950 -- Just Like
the Morya Madness -- One of the Signature Morya Madness Prize Categories!"
Weirdo was staring intently at the table, muttering to himself. "Kaltos Klassik
Kraziness Kontest": "Too Wordy!" "Needs Shorter Descriptive Words!" "Like 'Morya
Madness' Was!" "Something Katchy!" -- "Kaltos Kaos!"
A nod of approval came immediately from the Veteran Manager, Hammer Had Been Seeking
Just the Right Alliteration!
"Kaltos Kaos It Is!"
Hammer went on to explain that the Kaltos Kaos -- with its Variety of Kategories &
Approved Prizes -- was Offering Incentives to Both the Tourney Managers & the Basic
Arena Managers to Answer the Call to Test Their Managerial Mettle in Kaltos Arena!
Plus... the Veteran Manager had received word that Street Legal was volunteering as an
Experienced Backup Moderator & that Master Darque was willing to serve in an Advisory
Capacity ... if Necessary, since Darque would be involved with the Turf War in Arena
47 ... during the Kaltos Kaos festivities!
Plans were already underway for the Aberrant 5 Blades, managed by Hammer, to
participate in the upcoming Turf War in North Fork Arena!
Meanwhile, Hammer was Thankful that His Former Vendetta Cartel Alliance Mates, Street
Legal and Master Darque, were Willing to Help with the Arena 5 Kaltos Kaos ... in Any
Kapacity!
"May Your Blades Be Sharp and Your Wits Sharper!"
-- Hammer the WordSmith
***---------*---------*---------*---------**---------*---------*---------*---------***
"Mom says if you're lost, you should just pull over and ask for directions."
Channel Master stared stoically ahead, squinting to make out the unpaved road
through the driving rain. Hands on the car's steering wheel, the NFL Network
manager's lips moved silently as his mind raced, calculating, simultaneously adding
and subtracting reality, sliding sideways through unknown shadows. It's not how
shadow walkers are taught to operate, and for very good reasons. He did it anyway.
Channel Master was trying both to get away from something and yet moving deliberately
toward somewhere else but avoiding a pattern that could be anticipated. He was
exhausted.
Nemesis shifted in her seat, rubbing her forehead furiously. "At least admit that
we're lost."
"We are not lost!" Channel Master looked in the rear view mirror for the one
thousand and first time. "I've told you, I know exactly where we are in relation to
where we've just been. I'm just not sure where we are in relation to where we WANT to
be."
Nemesis grabbed Channel Master's arm, squeezing it to maintain his attention.
"Look! We've got to do something different! We've been driving around for hours and
we still aren't any closer to home!" She jabbed her finger at Channel Master. "Pull
over! Ask somebody for help. Surely somebody on this," she glanced out the window,
peering through the driving rain at the strange purple and orange trees towering in
the distance, "shadow knows something about getting us home. Even if you don't."
Channel Master stiffened at the rebuke. "What would you like me to say? 'Pardon
me, sir or madam. We are lost in shadow, and wondering if you knew the correct way to
get back to a place called Alastari? It's in Gaea?' Or maybe we can shift somewhere
that has Waze and just follow the directions back home?"
Nemesis' silence hung heavy in the space between them. "This is not good,"
Channel Master thought to himself as he glanced to his right, just in time to see
Nemesis open the car door and tumble out of sight.
*** *** ***
"What is it? What do you see?" Dragon Master stood impatiently on tippy toes,
trying to look over Queen Artemis' shoulder.
The Huntress dropped a cover over the scrying crystal on the table. She looked
stunned. "Um, nothing to be alarmed about, THAT's for sure!" Queen Artemis smiled
unconvincingly. "They still seem to be lost, but well... maybe a little LESS lost than
before."
Dragon Master squinted suspiciously. Something wasn't right here. While she'd
never caught Queen Artemis directly lying to her, the older manager seemed to be
holding something back, something important. Dragon Master made a decision. "I'm
going to get them!" She strode purposefully toward the door, and reached for the
handle.
She paused, realizing that she would need some help, and strode back, just as
purposefully. "Where are they?"
*** *** ***
Stormcrowe really is an underrated city, Riff-Raff thought to himself. So many
important people here!
Master Darque's personal study was just as opulent as you'd expect of a half
demon who'd done well for himself. Vaulted ceilings, ornate carvings, wall-sized
tapestries, custom wallpaper, and of course an oversized, well-appointed desk.
Manservant Leviticus stood at the ready, and in the corner closest to the library sat
Darque's immortal bodyguard, Sidon. Typical of the warrior culture, he and Riff-Raff
had hated each other on sight.
Riff-Raff wondered if things could have been different between them, as an unseen
hand held Riff-Raff by the throat, ten feet above the floor.
"You LOST MY CHILDREN?!?" Darque roared, snapping Riff-Raff back to the matter at
hand. The smell of sulfur was suddenly overpowering.
Riff-Raff pointed to his throat, feeling his face start to turn slightly blue.
He desperately wanted to say something like "technically only one of them" in an
attempt to lighten the mood, but there was no point talking until he had some breath.
Riff-Raff dearly hoped he would have some breath, and soon.
"They were just here. I mean they were JUST HERE!" Master Darque turned to
Sidon, who nodded. Darque twisted the ring on his finger, and somehow that made Riff-
Raff, still suspended ten feet in the air (and starting to experience tunnel vision
from lack of air) feel even worse.
"What am I supposed to tell Lady Darque?"
The half demon turned back toward his desk, reaching out to steady himself.
Darque glanced at Leviticus, who stared intently at the ground. A deep guttural roar
escaped the short manager's lips, and the robed wizard slammed both hands down on the
massive desk. Leviticus and Sidon jumped back as it shattered, a million deadly
splinters flying in all directions. The half demon's concentration broken, Riff-Raff
felt the pressure on his neck release. He gratefully gasped in a deep breath of fresh
air, just as the unceremonious tug of gravity pulled him down. TEABAG's preeminent
manager landed in a heap, and the fall knocked the wind out of him.
This was turning into quite a bad day.
Waiting a moment to regain his proper breath, Riff-Raff stood up and dusted
himself off. "You see," he said, smiling ingenuinely, "what had happened was-"
"ENOUGH!"
Riff-Raff stood quietly, wondering why everyone kept yelling at him, if he'd have
time to dodge whatever Darque threw at him next and, in these close quarters, whether
it would matter. Sidon was immortal and Leviticus was, well, Leviticus. Riff-Raff
mused that this probably wouldn't be their first fireball; it wouldn't be his first
either but it might well be his last.
"I've got to get in touch with Floyd."
Darque waved his hand and a small whirlwind neatly sucked up the wood splinters. He
moved toward a large scrying crystal at the center of the room. It pulsed brightly as
Darque approached.
"This day just keeps getting better and better," Riff-Raff thought to himself.
SPY REPORT
Well, well, well . . . what do we have here? Ori has taken this month off, so you
bums are stuck with me until she gets back! I'm Huard DePriest and I'm the regular
(and spectacular) spy reporter from Shadowspire. I have made the trek here today so
that you can all stand in awe of my literary proud . . . power . . . prowest, not
that's not it. [shuffling papers] Prowess! My literary prowess! Okay, now that I've
lured you in. let's see what happened in Telorinthe this week!
First, I don't remember this many teams the last time I was here! More teams mean more
fights and more chances to bash in one another's faces! So, yeah! This is great! J.
J. Watt is the defending Duelmaster. Ironically, as the top total parry in the arena,
I don't really see him bashing anyone's face in. I mean, the opponent might bash his
own face against a shield or the ground due to boredom, but whatever, I guess it takes
all types of fighters. Sir Round drew the unlucky straw this time on his first turn
back in the arena after a short hiatus (I think, I'm looking at Ori's notes here).
Anyway, J.J. Watt told Sir Round a really boring story about sand or something. It
lasted 6 minutes and must have been an interesting story because the crowd enjoyed it.
Congrats to J.J. for keeping the throne! He is managed by Channel Master.
Second, Boss Rat doesn't understand how non-disclosures work. You send the paperwork
in before you get to the arena, not afterward. The way you did it is akin to putting
on your shirt and then trying to iron it--just awkward and a little painful. Thanks
to Luell for introducing himself and I want to welcome his team, Spearpeople, to
Telorinthe. We also have a few managers returning as Gentleben and Hammer have come
back to the sands.
Next, we see that Conjure the Sun is the most avoided team. Congrats, Weirdo! Just
like the other no tourney arenas, no one wants to be around you here either! NFL
Network avoided them the most. Switching gears from avoids to challenges, it looks
like Vampire on Fire is this turn's most challenged warrior. Harley challenged down
15 points to fight Vampire on Fire and it ended as you would expect. Harley wins the
fight in 1-minute.
We have 3 deaths to report this week. One death came via the Dark Arena and a second
was against a Persistent Beggar. I would not want to be the arena master this week!
Can you imagine the paperwork when you guys kill one of the stand ins? Maybe hold
back a bit next time, okay? The third death came when RBI-Wan Kenobi executed Anael
Blackfeather. Agent R scores a 2nd kill and it only 3 turns into this gladiator
stuff! Watch out!
Nemesis takes over the top team spot with an impressive 11-4-1 record over the last 3
turns. NFL Network is hot on her heels in 2nd place and a 4-1-0 effort this cycle.
Dragon Master's crew moves up to 3rd, while Dark Oracle enters the top 5 in 4th place.
Kame House slips from 2nd to 5th and rounds out our top teams. Spearpeople, Aaaargh
Hammerz, and Queen's Guard enter the fray this turn and Telorinthe has a respectable
15 active teams.
Alright, time to go, ya bums! It is hot and there isn't really much to add. It is
hot and it feels like my teeth are sweating. Can anyone topple J.J. Watt from atop
the arena? Can anyone overtake Nemesis's crew The Ferocious Five as the top team?
Can we employ some Shewish Giants to wave huge fans at me next month if it is still
this hot? There are lots of questions to answer, so join us next time in Telorinthe
and we can hopefully get some solid answers!
-- Huard DePriest
DUELMASTER W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
J.J. WATT 535 19 7 0 111 NFL NETWORK (63)
CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
HURRICANE SEASON 507 13 9 3 113 BAD SIGNS (24)
PUKEI 557 17 7 0 111 KAME HOUSE (61)
CHOCO 530 16 10 0 97 HOUSE OF FUR (62)
WYAN 553 15 10 2 96 SORCERER KINGS (66)
BURGER KING 559 17 7 0 94 THE FEROCIOUS FIVE (64)
BORYS 554 14 11 1 94 SORCERER KINGS (66)
KING CHAPPA 527 15 10 1 92 KAME HOUSE (61)
NIGHTMARE 545 14 11 1 91 THE DRAGONS (65)
HIRED BY TRUMP 506 14 8 1 91 BAD SIGNS (24)
CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
SIR ROUND 590 8 3 0 89 QUEEN'S GUARD (68)
MIDNIGHT 573 11 10 0 79 HOUSE OF FUR (62)
MASTER ROSHI 524 15 10 0 78 KAME HOUSE (61)
HARLEY 564 12 11 0 73 HOUSE OF FUR (62)
HILLARY CLINTON 486 15 13 1 71 BAD SIGNS (24)
GUILFORD 558 11 13 3 70 KAME HOUSE (61)
VICIOUS VENOM 540 15 10 2 69 THE FEROCIOUS FIVE (64)
OUTLANDER HAMMER 33 11 14 0 68 AAAARRGH HAMMERZ (3)
CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
KING KILLER 543 13 12 1 66 THE FEROCIOUS FIVE (64)
MANIAC MAULER 542 15 11 1 64 THE FEROCIOUS FIVE (64)
GREG OLSEN 581 12 7 2 64 NFL NETWORK (63)
DETENTION 572 6 5 2 63 BAD SIGNS (24)
WINDSHEAR 580 10 9 0 62 THE DRAGONS (65)
VENGEANCE HAMMER 233 11 4 1 57 AAAARRGH HAMMERZ (3)
ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
REESE'S PB 438 10 24 1 55 SCORPIO'S LIKES: (57)
MANGO CHUTNEY 579 11 8 0 54 THE FEROCIOUS FIVE (64)
SKY 544 10 15 0 54 THE DRAGONS (65)
ICE MAN 468 10 19 1 50 SCORPIO'S LIKES: (57)
SIX FLAGS 469 10 19 0 49 SCORPIO'S LIKES: (57)
VAMPIRE ON FIRE 512 9 7 1 44 CONJURE UP THE SUN (60)
ANTONIO BROWN 612 8 4 1 40 NFL NETWORK (63)
LALALI-PUY 588 8 10 1 40 SORCERER KINGS (66)
SIR MUNN 609 5 2 0 40 QUEEN'S GUARD (68)
DAWN 522 7 6 0 39 CONJURE UP THE SUN (60)
SIR CUMBSTANCE 592 6 5 0 37 QUEEN'S GUARD (68)
HEAT WAVE 515 9 7 0 36 CONJURE UP THE SUN (60)
HOT YOGA 602 7 2 0 35 RIFF-RAFF CREW (69)
CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
DEATH BRINGER 618 6 1 0 33 THE DRAGONS (65)
CHARMING KITTEN 601 5 4 0 33 RIFF-RAFF CREW (69)
BIBIDEE 623 4 0 1 28 SORCERER KINGS (66)
CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
RBI-WAN KENOBI 628 2 1 1 28 EMPIRE STRIKES OUT (70)
MOOSE HEAD 596 5 12 0 27 SCORPIO'S LIKES: (57)
FRENEMY 600 5 4 0 26 RIFF-RAFF CREW (69)
INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
SIR CULE 591 5 6 0 23 QUEEN'S GUARD (68)
STABBMOOR 636 1 1 0 21 IRONSKULL ORCS (71)
0-2 COUNT 603 3 3 0 20 BAD SIGNS (24)
VALENTINE HAMMER 226 2 14 0 20 AAAARRGH HAMMERZ (3)
PHYSICALITY 599 4 5 0 17 RIFF-RAFF CREW (69)
EMBER 634 2 0 0 14 THE DRAGONS (65)
TWINKLE TWINKLE 571 3 3 0 12 CONJURE UP THE SUN (60)
F-3PO 630 2 1 0 12 EMPIRE STRIKES OUT (70)
CHEWBALKA 627 1 2 1 12 EMPIRE STRIKES OUT (70)
ELFBEND 645 1 0 1 11 SPEARPEOPLE (72)
2017 BRAWL HAMMER 496 1 0 0 11 AAAARRGH HAMMERZ (3)
HALFTIME SHOW 632 1 1 0 10 NFL NETWORK (63)
FOX HOUND 651 1 0 0 10 HOUSE OF FUR (62)
GODFRIEND 641 1 0 0 10 SPEARPEOPLE (72)
WORMSPINE 640 1 1 0 9 IRONSKULL ORCS (71)
HEAT STROKE 578 2 2 0 8 CONJURE UP THE SUN (60)
SKARFACE 652 1 0 0 8 IRONSKULL ORCS (71)
BLOODAXE 637 1 1 0 6 IRONSKULL ORCS (71)
UMPIRE PALPATINE 629 1 2 0 5 EMPIRE STRIKES OUT (70)
BONEBREAKER 639 1 1 0 4 IRONSKULL ORCS (71)
SIR RENDER 619 1 1 0 4 QUEEN'S GUARD (68)
RIDE OR DIE 635 1 1 0 4 RIFF-RAFF CREW (69)
PUSHEEN 624 0 3 0 3 HOUSE OF FUR (62)
BRIAN DAWKINS 633 0 2 0 2 NFL NETWORK (63)
ANGERHARD 643 0 1 0 1 SPEARPEOPLE (72)
RAVENHEART 644 0 1 0 1 SPEARPEOPLE (72)
FUNGO FETT 653 0 1 0 1 EMPIRE STRIKES OUT (70)
BRIGHTWOLF 642 0 1 0 1 SPEARPEOPLE (72)
REMEMBERS HAMMER 625 0 1 0 1 AAAARRGH HAMMERZ (3)
'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.
THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN Revenge?
PERSISTANT BEGGA 0 0 0 ELFBEND 645 171 NONE
PRINCESS LEADOFF 626 1 1 0 EMPIRE STRIKES OU 70 BIBIDEE 623 170
GARFIELD 529 15 9 0 HOUSE OF FUR 62 VICIOUS VENOM 540 169 JUST REVENGED
RAGE QUIT 598 5 2 0 RIFF-RAFF CREW 69 REESE'S PB 438 169 JUST REVENGED
ANAEL BLACKFEATHE 608 2 6 0 SCORPIO'S LIKES: 57 RBI-WAN KENOBI 628 171
YUCJ 654 0 1 0 SORCERER KINGS 66 SHEWISH GIANT 171 NONE
PERSONAL ADS
Nightmare -- It's supposed to be the upcoming election that keeps me awake at night,
not you. -- Hired By Trump
Maniac Mauler -- Maybe next time I'll sharpen my wit instead of my sword -- Hillary
Clinton
Windshear -- Better to be blown off course then to have to write lines after school.
Well, that's your opinion at least. -- Detention
Guildford -- When the warriors come into the fight with 6 kills between them, I'm
grateful that we both get out alive -- Hurricane Season
Twinkle Twinkle -- I think you put me to sleep -- 0-2 Count
For the team & manager list for dm 83:
Team: Spearpeople Manager: Luell
Heat Stroke -- I must not have been performing my best. I'll get you next time. --
Halftime Show
Bonebreaker -- Sticks and stones may break my bones . . . oh, wait. That was the
point. -- Brian Dawkins
Charming Kitten -- It wasn't my fault. I swear. -- Antonio Brown
Borys -- I thought I was supposed to challenge you. -- a very confused J. J. Watt
Agent R -- I liked reading your spotlight. Here are my favorite teams:
NFL -- KC Chiefs
MLB -- Boston Red Soxs
NHL -- Phoenix Coyotes
MLS -- LA Galaxy
NBA -- GS Warriors
Duelmasters -- NFL Network
Do you have a favorite warrior or style yet? I hope our warriors meet on the sands
soon! -- Channel Master
Riff-Raff -- Unless I misunderstood, you're supposed to win in a bloodfeud fight,
right? -- Channel Master
Halftime Show -- I'm sure it was just a wardrobe malfunction. -- Heat Stroke
0-2 Count -- Caught me lookin' -- Twinkle
King Killer -- Nice comeback. That could've went either way. -- Dawn
Anael Blackfeather -- Don't make a wookie mad! -- Chewbalka
Hot Yoga -- Sounds better than a Hot Yoda -- RBI-Wan Kenobi
Pusheen -- It looks like the Empire has been the ones Pusheen you around. -- Umpire
Palpatine
Moose Head -- My extremeties can be interchangeable, can the same be said for yours.
-- F-3P0
Bibidee -- The resisteance will have to stop making your record look so good --
Princess Leadoff
F-3PO -- Is that a double dip on a baseball term? F3=flyball to 1st base and PO = Pop
Out? And yea, I get the Star Wars reverence. Clever. Now you owe me a win. --
Bonebreaker
Gladiator Commission flunkey -- I don't recall filing out and signing a waiver voiding
my non-disclosure permit. Oh well, secret's out. I'M HERE! -- Boss Rat
Why? Why am I disappearing? I wno my fight, it's not fair! -- Skarface
Oh, shut up, loser. You were a mistake. Now die with some dignity. (Sheesh!) --
Skarface
Telorinthe Toughies --- Hello Telo! Aaaarrgh Hammerz Return! --- Hammer
Agent R --- I enjoyed reading your Spotlight from last issue online! My Favorite
Hockey Team: Detroit Red Wings. My Favorite Baseball Team: Detroit Tigers. My Favorite
Football Team: Detroit Lions. My Favorite Duelmasters Team: Right Now Is Any Active
Hammer Managed Team. See You On The Arena Sands! --- Hammer
Channel Master --- Enjoy the View from the Throne! Always a Great Accomplishment When
a Warrior from Your Stable Battles to Ascend to the DM Throne! --- Hammer
Nemesis --- Our Warriors Should Soon Cross Blades! --- Hammer
Dragon Master --- Our Warriors Should Soon Cross Blades Also! --- Hammer
Queen Artemis --- Pusheen May Soon Cross Blades With One or Two of My Incoming
Initiates! --- Hammer
Telorinthe Toughies --- Will See the Rest of You On The Sands or In Chatzy! You Know
Who You Are! --- Hammer
Hi Agent R!! Here are my favorite teams: Hockey : Cornell, Baseball : NY Mets,
Football : NY Giants/Jets, Basketball: UNC Tarheels, Duelmasters: Ferocious Five (it's
my only team). -- Nemesis of The Ferocious Five
Agent R -- Great team spotlight. You have inspired me to list my favorite teams as
well. Hockey : NY Rangers, Baseball : SF Giants, Football : SF 49ers, Basketball : NY
Knicks / UNC Tarheels, Formula One : Red Bull Racing / Max Verstappen (fave driver).
-- Floyd , mgr of Kame House
Hi Agent R. I really liked your story. I also love sports. I take Kung Fu and ride my
skate board a lot. Here are my favorite teams. Hockey : I dont watch hockey,
Baseball: NY Mets (my dad takes us to a lot of games), Football: NY Jets, Basketball:
UNC Tarheels (my dad LOVES the Tarheels), Duelmasters: The Dragons, Thanks. -- from
The Dragon Master
LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS
YUCJ was butchered by SHEWISH GIANT in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
CHOCO devastated VICIOUS VENOM in a 1 minute one-sided Bloodfeud duel.
CHARMING KITTEN overcame REESE'S PB in a 3 minute one-sided Bloodfeud match.
CHEWBALKA was viciously subdued by BIBIDEE in a 1 minute amateur's Bloodfeud brawl.
NIGHTMARE was overpowered by HURRICANE SEASON in a 1 minute Challenge match.
PUKEI viciously subdued BORYS in a exciting 3 minute bloody master's Challenge fight.
HILLARY CLINTON was handily defeated by KING CHAPPA in a 1 minute Challenge fight.
HARLEY vanquished VAMPIRE ON FIRE in a 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
SKY won victory over ICE MAN in a action packed 2 minute expert's Challenge fight.
FRENEMY was luckily beaten by ANTONIO BROWN in a exciting 1 minute Challenge fight.
HEAT WAVE handily defeated PUSHEEN in a exciting 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
0-2 COUNT bested PHYSICALITY in a crowd pleasing 6 minute Challenge conflict.
RBI-WAN KENOBI savagely slew ANAEL BLACKFEATHER in a 2 minute bloody Challenge match.
RIDE OR DIE was outlasted by TWINKLE TWINKLE in a 19 minute Challenge conflict.
F-3PO savagely defeated BONEBREAKER in a 4 minute bloody novice's Challenge duel.
HALFTIME SHOW won victory over UMPIRE PALPATINE in a 1 minute novice's Challenge fray.
J.J. WATT bested SIR ROUND in a crowd pleasing 6 minute gory Title brawl.
MASTER ROSHI was beaten by BURGER KING in a 2 minute veteran's match.
GUILFORD was overpowered by HIRED BY TRUMP in a 1 minute one-sided match.
OUTLANDER HAMMER was handily defeated by WYAN in a 1 minute mismatched competition.
MIDNIGHT defeated DETENTION in a 1 minute duel.
GREG OLSEN savagely defeated SIR MUNN in a 2 minute gruesome bout.
LALALI-PUY was vanquished by WINDSHEAR in a 1 minute mismatched fray.
KING KILLER savagely defeated SIX FLAGS in a popular 3 minute veteran's match.
MANIAC MAULER overpowered SIR CUMBSTANCE in a 1 minute uneven fight.
DAWN was savagely defeated by VENGEANCE HAMMER in a exciting 3 minute gruesome bout.
MANGO CHUTNEY overpowered MOOSE HEAD in a 1 minute uneven duel.
SIR CULE was luckily beaten by HOT YOGA in a 2 minute brutal fray.
DEATH BRINGER handily defeated VALENTINE HAMMER in a popular 6 minute one-sided duel.
SIR RENDER was overpowered by STABBMOOR in a 2 minute uneven duel.
HEAT STROKE was savagely defeated by 2017 BRAWL HAMMER in a 6 minute novice's match.
WORMSPINE savagely defeated BRIAN DAWKINS in a action packed 3 minute novice's bout.
EMBER devastated RAVENHEART in a 4 minute one-sided duel.
BLOODAXE viciously subdued REMEMBERS HAMMER in a unpopular 5 minute novice's battle.
GODFRIEND handily defeated FUNGO FETT in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
BRIGHTWOLF was demolished by FOX HOUND in a 1 minute one-sided conflict.
ANGERHARD was viciously subdued by SKARFACE in a action packed 3 minute novice's bout.
ELFBEND viciously butchered PERSISTANT BEGGAR in a 1 minute gruesome amateur's match.
BATTLE REPORT
MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS
|FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT|
|TOTAL PARRY 13 TOTAL PARRY 46 - 25 - 0 65 |
|AIMED BLOW 11 PARRY-RIPOSTE 12 - 9 - 0 57 |
|SLASHING ATTACK 10 SLASHING ATTACK 36 - 28 - 4 56 |
|LUNGING ATTACK 9 AIMED BLOW 38 - 36 - 2 51 |
|STRIKING ATTACK 9 STRIKING ATTACK 26 - 27 - 0 49 |
|BASHING ATTACK 9 LUNGING ATTACK 37 - 41 - 0 47 |
|WALL OF STEEL 5 WALL OF STEEL 12 - 15 - 2 44 |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE 3 BASHING ATTACK 20 - 29 - 2 41 |
|PARRY-LUNGE 3 PARRY-LUNGE 4 - 9 - 0 31 |
|PARRY-STRIKE 2 PARRY-STRIKE 3 - 9 - 1 25 |
Turn 171 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are:
SLASHING ATTACK 8 - 2 WALL OF STEEL 2 - 3 4 STRIKING ATTACK
AIMED BLOW 8 - 3 PARRY-RIPOSTE 1 - 2 3 TOTAL PARRY
LUNGING ATTACK 5 - 4 STRIKING ATTACK 3 - 6 2 LUNGING ATTACK
TOTAL PARRY 7 - 6 BASHING ATTACK 2 - 7 1 AIMED BLOW
PARRY-STRIKE 1 - 1 PARRY-LUNGE 0 - 3 1 SLASHING ATTACK
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE
FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME
TOTAL PARRY J.J. WATT 535 19 7 0 111 NFL NETWORK (63)
STRIKING ATTACK HURRICANE SEASON 507 13 9 3 113 BAD SIGNS (24)
AIMED BLOW PUKEI 557 17 7 0 111 KAME HOUSE (61)
SLASHING ATTACK CHOCO 530 16 10 0 97 HOUSE OF FUR (62)
LUNGING ATTACK WYAN 553 15 10 2 96 SORCERER KINGS (66)
WALL OF STEEL VICIOUS VENOM 540 15 10 2 69 THE FEROCIOUS FIVE (64)
BASHING ATTACK VAMPIRE ON FIRE 512 9 7 1 44 CONJURE UP THE SUN (60)
PARRY-RIPOSTE HOT YOGA 602 7 2 0 35 RIFF-RAFF CREW (69)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.
The overall popularity leader is KING CHAPPA 527. The most popular warrior this turn
was SIR ROUND 590. The ten other most popular fighters were PHYSICALITY 599, KING
KILLER 543, SKARFACE 652, VENGEANCE HAMMER 233, WORMSPINE 640, ANGERHARD 643, PUKEI
557, SKY 544, VALENTINE HAMMER 226, and REESE'S PB 438.
The least popular fighter this week was RIDE OR DIE 635. The other ten least popular
fighters were TWINKLE TWINKLE 571, HEAT STROKE 578, REMEMBERS HAMMER 625, DEATH
BRINGER 618, BRIGHTWOLF 642, FUNGO FETT 653, EMBER 634, SIR RENDER 619, MOOSE HEAD
596, and SIR CUMBSTANCE 592.
The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:
KING CHAPPA (83-527) KAME HOUSE (61)
Name Change-o-Rama -- Final Update
The Commission's administrative office on the Isle was in a big square building
that looked like any other administrative office building in any national capital.
Standard, boring. Except for the goats. Half a dozen goats were wandering free,
eating the landscaping, and as many clerks were chasing them. A clerk saw them
coming, he looked like a Trustworthy Scribe, and he rushed over to the approaching
gladiators. "Do you know anything about goats?" He gestured helplessly at the hungry
goats. "They're here because of the Name-Change-o-Rama. We donate them to help change
the world, you know."
The gladiators nodded. They'd heard about it, but hadn't thought it would be so
funny to see. "How did you deal with them last time?"
The clerk made a disgusted gesture. "People came and took them away. But the
people didn't come this time. They sent a message about being quarantined! Aren't we
all? And WE get to work! Goats are not in our job description."
One of the gladiators snorted laughter. "We'll help," he said. "Where do you
want them?"
* * * *
Embric, relieved that he had not been appointed goat-herder this afternoon,
carefully dipped his pen in ink and began to write. "It is our pleasure and honor
to note that one hundred and twenty-seven gladiators and teams have elected to change
their names, supporting the contribution of goats to deserving people. With the
Commission's matching funds, this has purchased six goats--a good goat can't be
purchased for a copper, you know. The goats are already en route to their new homes,
where they will be--" He paused and thought about it. "--very welcome. We wish all
the best to the goats and the new goat-owners."
Just a note:
Our DM writers (both staff and players) put quite a bit of effort into writing content
for the newsletters: spy reports, spotlights, and personal ads; fiction and non-
fiction. If you enjoy these, if you want more, or even if they make you laugh, it
would be kind if you could drop a personal ad or even send them a note.
Assur and Consortium, especially, put tremendous effort in Noblish Island, writing new
content and tweaking/correcting older content to help new players learn the game.
A special shoutout should also go to our varied human spy reporters in the ADM arenas,
Seam, Chimlevtal, Shadowspire, Telorinthe, and occasionallly contest arenas.
Kudos and thank you to all of our writers! I'm sure we don't thank you enough.
-- RSI
** * * * * * * * **
MINI SPOTS
The short spotlights that Jorja has been writing were intended to be amusing but also
possibly to provide a jumping-off point for further fiction. If you're interested in
collaborating with a story, please contact her -- or just write it! (Let CSR know if
you need her email address.)
-- RSI