DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 03/02/2021    Duedate: 03/29/2021

TELORINTHE ARENA

DM-83    TURN-179

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

MANIAC MAULER
THE FEROCIOUS FIVE (64)
(83-542) [20-14-1,118]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

MANIAC MAULER                  BEKI
THE FEROCIOUS FIVE (64)        SHADOW OF MEGA (74)
(83-542) [20-14-1,118]         (83-659) [6-1-0,52]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

KING KILLER                    TOKUGAWA
THE FEROCIOUS FIVE (64)        KAME HOUSE (61)
(83-543) [18-15-1,79]          (83-701) [2-1-0,8]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

 (-1)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. THE FEROCIOUS FIVE (64)     38
2. HOUSE OF FUR (62)           35      BAD SIGNS (24)
3. IRONSKULL ORCS (71)         28      Unchartered Team
4. RIFF-RAFF CREW (69)         25
5. CONJURE UP THE SUN (60)     24      SHADOW OF MEGA (74)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1*SHADOW OF MEGA (74)       23  13  1 63.9   1/ 1 KAME HOUSE (61)          10  5 0
 2/ 2 BAD SIGNS (24)           356 224 31 61.4   2/ 6 THE FEROCIOUS FIVE (64)  10  5 0
 3/ 3 THE DRAGONS (65)          89  61  4 59.3   3/ 2 RIFF-RAFF CREW (69)      10  5 0
 4/ 4 THE FEROCIOUS FIVE (64)   98  69  4 58.7   4/ 3 IRONSKULL ORCS (71)       9  6 1
 5/ 5 RIFF-RAFF CREW (69)       48  35  1 57.8   5/ 5*SHADOW OF MEGA (74)       9  6 0
 6- 6 NONSUCH HOUSE (39)       127  98  5 56.4   6/ 8 CONJURE UP THE SUN (60)   7  3 1
 7/ 7 IRONSKULL ORCS (71)       28  22  2 56.0   7/ 9 THE DRAGONS (65)          7  4 1
 8/ 8 KAME HOUSE (61)           87  70  5 55.4   8/10 AAAARRGH HAMMERZ (3)      7  6 1
 9/13*THE RED COMPANY (75)      21  18  1 53.8   9/12*THE RED COMPANY (75)      7  7 1
10/10 CONJURE UP THE SUN (60)   61  54  3 53.0  10/ 4 EMPIRE STRIKES OUT (70)   7  8 1
11/ 9 NFL NETWORK (63)          86  78  7 52.4  11/13 BAD SIGNS (24)            7  8 0
12/14 HOUSE OF FUR (62)         82  84  3 49.4  12/ 7 SORCERER KINGS (66)       7  8 0
13/12 SORCERER KINGS (66)       80  85  7 48.5  13/11 NFL NETWORK (63)          6  8 1
14/15 EMPIRE STRIKES OUT (70)   23  31  4 42.6  14/15 HOUSE OF FUR (62)         5  7 1
15/16 AAAARRGH HAMMERZ (3)      63  93  4 40.4  15-16 NONSUCH HOUSE (39)        3  7 0
16/17*WARMAGE (77)               6  14  0 30.0  16/17 SCORPIO'S LIKES: (57)     2 13 0
17/18 SCORPIO'S LIKES: (57)     62 146  5 29.8  17/14*WARMAGE (77)              1 14 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

WARM AGE

There had been many flatlanders; their mild weather made their food plentiful. Their 
lives had been easy; they'd been soft.

We'd always fished here at the end of the world, where the ocean meets the frozen 
mountains. Even after the ice all melted, only dead soil had been uncovered; it'd had 
no worms like in the flatlands.

There'd been too many flatlanders; they'd blighted their lands. Then after the ice all 
melted, there'd been disease, fire, and flood, famine, and "food-killings."

The flatlanders had tried to take our food, our women.

We'd always kept our dried fish and craft goods in the Center storehouse. Then when a 
couple married, they'd be given a boat; whatever they caught, they'd put in the 
Center. Whatever they needed, they'd take out of the Center.

Then, after the ice all melted, there'd been fewer fish, too, and the Center had 
emptied out; there'd been food-killings here, too, like in the flatlands.

The hardest and strongest fighters among us, the Polewards, had risen and ended the 
chaos. They'd killed the thieves among us who'd thought they were specially deserving 
of more than their needed fair share. We who remained had all pulled together.

The Polewards had saved us; guarding the Center, keeping order, fighting off 
flatlander bandits, and enforcing the old ways.

Yesterday, this word had spread: the Polewards were from the flatlands! They thought 
they were special! They had names! The murderous Polewards had emptied the Center at 
night, and had executed our brothers for their own greedy thefts!

We resolved to be rid of these Poleward scum! We gathered together, stormed the 
Center, and fought hard and strong! We emptied the Center of Polewards and posted our 
own guards.

The Polewards are no more!

***---------*---------*---------*---------**---------*---------*---------*---------***

'Tales from Telo 9' by Hammer the WordSmith

"In this game of baseball, you live by the sword and die by it. You hit and get hit. 
Remember that." --- Alvin Dark

Here on planet Earth as I begin writing this missive, it is the first day of Spring 
Training games to begin the 2021 MLB baseball season.

It reminds me of the definition of Eternity for a baseball fan: which is the time 
between the last out of the World Series and the first pitch of Spring Training!

Also, seems like an Eternity running some of these warriors in the Telo Slow Arena!

Much like baseball, there are periods of slumps and hot streaks, so hopefully my 
Aaaarrgh Hammerz stable will find a way to put together a hot streak.

Currently, it seems as though Obedience Hammer is suffering one of those slumps, but 
rather than send him to the Dark Arena, it better serves my purpose for him to be a 
possible Blood Feud Bait option, if he continues to flounder on the Telo Arena Sands!

Granted, the Kaltos Kaos contest that I am hosting over in Arena 5 has taken some of 
my focus away from Telo Arena, but perhaps next cycle I will be able to pay closer 
attention to my gladiators here!

We did have a rare snow storm where I live in real life, making it necessary for me to 
do some shoveling of snow and ice to clear the driveway enough for vehicles to be able 
to find their way to the road.

I took my time in nearly zero-degree weather to do the shoveling, plus taking time out 
to watch the live stream of services for Winter Bible Seminar that were being held at 
our local Church, but the miserable driving conditions delayed my attendance until the 
final day of services!

That was followed by the funeral of a Very Close Minister Friend of mine, so my 
attention to Duel 2 related activities has taken a much-lower priority for my 
attention in recent days!

I am sure that others in our Dueling Community have had much more severe adversity to 
overcome than I have had the past couple of weeks!

Just glad we have Duel 2 to occupy some of our time in the middle of adversity!

I got a bit nostalgic the other day and contacted the Gladiatorial Commission to 
activate some of my inactive gladiators in Arena 101, mainly because the ones 
currently active there have been entertaining to read their fights, whether they win 
or lose!

Now that MLB baseball is underway, the immediate future looks brighter!

"May Your Blades Be Sharp and Your Wits Sharper!"

                                          -- Hammer the WordSmith
                                             Abbatoir Scarlet Knight
                                             Minister of War
***---------*---------*---------*---------**---------*---------*---------*---------***

RIFF-RAFF CREW

"This may not be the best idea I ever had."

Channel Master could feel the demon fighting him with all its might, locked in a death 
embrace, as they slid through shadow together.

Channel Master's body was in auto-pilot, doing everything it could to wrap itself more 
tightly into the demon's billowing cloak.  Channel Master gripped, he twisted, he 
pulled, and all the while he calculated.

Moving through shadow is more like solving complex mathematical problems than casting 
a spell.  It requires intense concentration; there were so many variables to keep 
track of, and doing the math wrong might mean that a key component could end up 
cancelling out. Like oxygen, for example.  Or the shadow might be too hot for even 
Channel Master's quarter-demon body to tolerate.  So intense physical exertion in a 
life-threatening situation was not normally recommended.

Channel Master had a plan, brilliant in its simplicity.  Get as far away from his 
sister and friends as fast as possible, kick the demon away, and continue to slide 
through shadow, eventually making his way back to wherever it was they were.

It was a good plan, but something in the back of his mind told him he was missing 
something important.  If only he wasn't wrestling a demon while recklessly tumbling 
through shadow, maybe he could figure out what it was!

When the sky turned pink with puffy green clouds, Channel Master figured it was as 
good a time as any for execution of his plan. Pulling the demon towards him with a 
jerk, he waited for the demon's reaction, and when the demon resisted with a push he 
kicked away, anticipating the feeling of free fall and trying to figure out how 
mitigate gravity before he hit land.

Suddenly, Channel Master felt the demon grab his trailing foot, and heard a deep 
guttural laugh.

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

Hi there !! Pukei here. I'm off to the Isle of the Eye so 
this is gonna be a short one.I am an Aimed Blow ...my stats are 13-9-4-21-7-9-
21B I ended up with masters in riposte and defense , Ad master in Attack , and 
an ad expert in parry.I got Shortsword as a fave weapon. Rhythms of MO OE and 
VL AE ...learns attackI'm of to arena 101. Maybe I will see some of you there.  
Pukei of Kame House

                                      SPY REPORT

It is another beautiful day in Telorinthe and I am looking forward to sharing all the 
great arena news with you.  The sun was shining and the birds were . . . the birds 
were curiously absent from the arena today.  There is a nasty rumor about Black Orc 
and others in the Dark Arena crew eating them, but that is just a rumor.  Oh well, I'm 
sure they will join us as the weather continues to get warmer!  Now, let's take a look 
at what happened this turn in our wonderful arena!

Our old Duelmaster is heading for the Isle of the Eye.  When the Duelmaster gets a 
graduation notice, we can almost be certain someone new is going to be crowned our 
arena champion!  There are two ways this can happen.  First, if the outgoing 
Duelmaster loses, the title is settled the old-fashioned way on the sands.  The winner 
is the new Duelmaster!  Pukei won his match against Hilary Clinton, so we have to find 
a new champion by a different method.  This is where recognition points from the 
Gladiatorial Commission come into play.  The warrior with the highest recognition at 
the end of the cycle's fights becomes our new Duelmaster.  In cases of a tie, there is 
no Duelmaster!  I know!  I am just as shocked at that thought!  It is rare, but it 
does happen from time to time.

I think that I can easily declare Telorinthe the TURN OF NEMESIS! I'll explain why as 
we move along.  Let's go back to that Duelmaster thing.  Our newest Duelmaster is 
Maniac Mauler from The Ferocious Five, who just happens to be managed by Nemesis.  MM, 
as you have probably guessed, took the throne because he is the Chartered Recognition 
Leader.  Nemesis's good fortune for this turn did not stop there.  King Killer, 
another warrior from The Ferocious Five, is our Popularity Leader.  In addition, 
Nemesis was able to snag herself the Top Team on the Move award as well.  She is also 
tied with Floyd and Riff-Raff for The Current Top Team award.  It just keeps going and 
going!  So, congrats to Maniac Mauler and the crew for their stellar turn.  Oh, did I 
mention that FOUR (4) of the FIVE (5) warriors from The Ferocious Five are also arena 
style masters!  I didn't?!?  Well, I just did!

Our most avoided team today is Riff-Raff Crew.  Well, they do describe themselves as 
Riff-Raff, so it might be a good idea to avoid them when you can.  They were mostly 
avoided by Bad Signs.  Is it a bad sign to fight riff-raff in the arena?  Dark Oracle 
seems to think so! Bringing it back to Nemesis on this TURN OF NEMESIS, we find that 
our most challenged warrior was Maniac Mauler!  He did pretty well for himself 
demolishing J.J. Watt and taking the throne!

There were a lot, and I do mean a lot, of deaths for turn 179.  There were 44 total 
fights and 10 of them ended with a death.  I don't do math very well, but that means 
purple!  I told you I don't do math very well, but my golem tells me nearly one-fourth 
of the fights ended in death.  This does include the Dark Arena, but that is still 
astounding to me!  Did you spend extra time sharpening your blades this week?  Adding 
a little extra weight to the maces?  Whatever you did it worked, maybe a little too 
well.  We lost 3 arena veterans this round with one being sent to the Dark Arena, a 
true shocker, and then 2 on the regular sands.  Channel Master sent 26-fight Greg 
Olsen to face Arenamaster.  I can tell you from years of spy reporting, very few come 
back from that Dark Arena match!  The 16-fight Frenemy was put down by Death Bringer.  
And last, the 24-fight veteran, Moose Head, died at the hands of Vampire on Fire.

It is good to see the arena full!  Nomad and his Nonsuch House guild were the only 
ones missing this cycle.  We hope they come back to us soon.  As I mentioned there 
were a total of 44 fights, so an excellent turn for our little corner of the 
gladiatorial world!  Come back next week as Maniac Mauler defends the throne against 
all of you that want to take it from him, which is probably most of the Challenger 
Champions.  There are lots of worthy challengers for Maniac Mauler, but will any of 
them be able to topple him for the throne?  Join us next time and find out!

                                             -- Ori Starbloom

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MANIAC MAULER 542            20  14  1   118       THE FEROCIOUS FIVE (64)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-GROGAN DA TROLL 402          16   8  1   122       NONSUCH HOUSE (39)
 CHOCO 530                    20  14  0   110       HOUSE OF FUR (62)
 ANTONIO BROWN 612            13   7  1   106       NFL NETWORK (63)
-ROOK 286                     27  18  0   105       NONSUCH HOUSE (39)
 MIDNIGHT 573                 16  13  0   103       HOUSE OF FUR (62)
 GUILFORD 558                 15  17  3   103       KAME HOUSE (61)
 BURGER KING 559              23   9  0    97       THE FEROCIOUS FIVE (64)
 BORYS 554                    19  14  1    95       SORCERER KINGS (66)
 J.J. WATT 535                24  10  0    91       NFL NETWORK (63)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 DEATH BRINGER 618            12   3  1    90       THE DRAGONS (65)
 VICIOUS VENOM 540            19  14  2    88       THE FEROCIOUS FIVE (64)
 HILLARY CLINTON 486          20  16  1    87       BAD SIGNS (24)
 LALALI-PUY 588               13  13  1    86       SORCERER KINGS (66)
 SKY 544                      14  19  0    82       THE DRAGONS (65)
 KING KILLER 543              18  15  1    79       THE FEROCIOUS FIVE (64)
 MASTER ROSHI 524             20  13  0    78       KAME HOUSE (61)
 MANGO CHUTNEY 579            16  11  0    77       THE FEROCIOUS FIVE (64)
 ICE MAN 468                  15  22  2    69       SCORPIO'S LIKES: (57)
 VAMPIRE ON FIRE 512          13  10  3    68       CONJURE UP THE SUN (60)
 REESE'S PB 438               12  30  1    67       SCORPIO'S LIKES: (57)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SIX FLAGS 469                14  23  0    65       SCORPIO'S LIKES: (57)
 0-2 COUNT 603                10   4  0    65       BAD SIGNS (24)
 F-3PO 630                     6   5  1    61       EMPIRE STRIKES OUT (70)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 HEAT WAVE 515                10  13  0    52       CONJURE UP THE SUN (60)
 BEKI 659                      6   1  0    52       SHADOW OF MEGA (74)
 HALFTIME SHOW 632             7   3  1    51       NFL NETWORK (63)
 CHARMING KITTEN 601           8   9  0    49       RIFF-RAFF CREW (69)
 WORMSPINE 640                 6   4  0    48       IRONSKULL ORCS (71)
 SIDEWINDER 662                4   4  0    47       THE RED COMPANY (75)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SUNDER JR. 660                5   3  1    43       THE RED COMPANY (75)
 PHYSICALITY 599               9   8  0    40       RIFF-RAFF CREW (69)
 BLOODAXE 637                  7   3  0    37       IRONSKULL ORCS (71)
 RIDE OR DIE 635               8   2  0    36       RIFF-RAFF CREW (69)
 BIBIDEE 623                   9   3  1    35       SORCERER KINGS (66)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 TWINKLE TWINKLE 571           8   5  0    33       CONJURE UP THE SUN (60)
 EMBER 634                     7   3  0    33       THE DRAGONS (65)
 KESTREL 663                   4   4  0    30       THE RED COMPANY (75)
 B-GONE 655                    4   3  0    29       SHADOW OF MEGA (74)
 STABBMOOR 636                 4   6  0    29       IRONSKULL ORCS (71)
 MADNESS 657                   6   2  0    28       SHADOW OF MEGA (74)
 SKARFACE 652                  5   4  1    28       IRONSKULL ORCS (71)
-FERAL BLADE 415               6   8  1    27       NONSUCH HOUSE (39)
 UMPIRE PALPATINE 629          3   8  1    27       EMPIRE STRIKES OUT (70)
 BONEBREAKER 639               5   5  1    26       IRONSKULL ORCS (71)
 RBI-WAN KENOBI 628            5   6  1    26       EMPIRE STRIKES OUT (70)
 HEAT STROKE 578               7   4  0    25       CONJURE UP THE SUN (60)
 TOSHI ARITO 697               3   1  0    25       KAME HOUSE (61)
 HELLO TELO HAMMER 690         3   0  0    24       AAAARRGH HAMMERZ (3)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 FROSTFANG 661                 6   2  0    20       THE RED COMPANY (75)
 TELO ZEBRA HAMMER 693         3   0  0    20       AAAARRGH HAMMERZ (3)
 14 DAY QUARANTINE 699         2   1  0    20       BAD SIGNS (24)
 AT-AT AT BAT 713              1   0  0    20       EMPIRE STRIKES OUT (70)
 FOX HOUND 651                 4   5  1    19       HOUSE OF FUR (62)
 MOM'S MAD 698                 1   2  0    18       BAD SIGNS (24)
 SIELBA 673                    3   4  0    16       SORCERER KINGS (66)
 6AM ALARM 706                 1   1  0    16       BAD SIGNS (24)
 NOTHINGBURGER 700             1   2  0    15       RIFF-RAFF CREW (69)
 NETFISHER 685                 2   2  0    12       WARMAGE (77)
 MORTALIS 711                  1   0  0    12       THE RED COMPANY (75)
 WETRUST 681                   1   3  0    10       WARMAGE (77)
 TOKUGAWA 701                  2   1  0     8       KAME HOUSE (61)
 MASIV 710                     1   0  0     7       SHADOW OF MEGA (74)
 POLEWARD 3 683                1   3  0     6       WARMAGE (77)
 HONDO TELO HAMMER 703         1   1  1     5       AAAARRGH HAMMERZ (3)
 TACO SUPREME 687              0   5  0     5       SCORPIO'S LIKES: (57)
 CAM NEWTON 707                1   1  0     4       NFL NETWORK (63)
 MERCILUS 705                  0   2  0     4       SHADOW OF MEGA (74)
 MANDO TELO HAMMER 702         0   2  0     2       AAAARRGH HAMMERZ (3)
 KESTREL 712                   0   1  0     1       THE DRAGONS (65)
 HELHOUND 708                  0   1  0     1       HOUSE OF FUR (62)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
OBEDIENCE HAMMER 676    1  5 0 AAAARRGH HAMMERZ 3   SKARFACE 652          179   
DUSK 677                2  3 0 CONJURE UP THE SU 60 FOX HOUND 651         179   
FUNGO FETT 653          4  4 0 EMPIRE STRIKES OU 70 ARENAMASTER           179  NONE
JABBA THE HITT 678      2  3 0 EMPIRE STRIKES OU 70 HALFTIME SHOW 632     178   
FURLESS 709             0  1 0 HOUSE OF FUR 62      MOUNTAIN TROLL        179  NONE
OOLONG 674              0  3 0 KAME HOUSE 61        BONEBREAKER 639       175  NOT REVENGED
GREG OLSEN 581         14 13 2 NFL NETWORK 63       ARENAMASTER           179  NONE
FRENEMY 600            10  7 1 RIFF-RAFF CREW 69    DEATH BRINGER 618     179   
MOOSE HEAD 596          6 19 0 SCORPIO'S LIKES: 57  VAMPIRE ON FIRE 512   179   
ABOLISH 658             4  2 1 SHADOW OF MEGA 74    SUNDER JR. 660        178  JUST REVENGED
DEAD 714                0  1 0 SORCERER KINGS 66    MOUNTAIN TROLL        179  NONE
BRAWNA 664              1  4 0 THE RED COMPANY 75   ABOLISH 658           176  REVENGED
DIABOLIQUE 704          0  1 0 THE RED COMPANY 75   HONDO TELO HAMMER 703 178  JUST REVENGED
POLEWARD 2 682          1  3 0 WARMAGE 77           SPYMASTER             179  NONE

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
POLEWARD 4 684          1  3 0 WARMAGE 77           WURM KIN              179  NONE

                                     PERSONAL ADS

All -- I see some of you have finally figured out how to count to five.  If you're 
missing fingers, try using your toes! -- Weirdo

Warmage -- You should name your next five warriors Robert Paulson. -- Weirdo

Mom's Mad -- Is Dad mad, too? -- Dusk

Poleward -- You suck!  ...Isn't this convenient?  I can insult your entire team in a 
single ad.  Thanks for saving me the effort, chumps.  I'll see you on the sands. -- 
Heat Stroke

Nomad -- Welcome back to Telo. -- Weirdo
P.S.  Pardon my tardiness, I knew I forgot to write something last turn!

Kame House -- Congratulations. -- TRC

Hammer -- I swear rippers are a dying breed (literally). Every arena I'm in, they drop 
like flies. -- TRC

Umpire Palpatine -- Thanks for reminding me, I am. :( -- Skarface

Obedience Hammer -- Welcome to Telorinthe. Well, not you so much, but your manager. 
HA! -- Skarface

Bibidee -- It was a mere flesh wound. Be honest, you bribed the Arena Master to 
prematurely end the fight! I have proof. I think I have proof. I can't find my proof. 
No matter, I won and you know it. :P -- Wormspine

Wyan -- Too many shots of Tequila celebrating your Isle invite? Being drunk and 
hungover is no way to challenge Wurm Kin. -- Boss Orc

My orcs went 5-0-0 last fight cycle? Amazing! Proves even the worse team can find some 
good fortune once in a blue moon. Altho, two more 5-0-0 turns and we orcs can claim 
top spot in the standings. /dramatic pause for effect, Yea, and pigs will fly and crap 
bouquets of flowers as they pass overhead, too. Hahahaha -- Boss Orc

14 Day Quarantine -- Not sure I understand the challenge, but thank you. :) -- 
Stabbmoor

Heat Wave -- Weirdo! -- Bloodaxe

Fox Hound -- Haven't our teams matched up a few times recently? You look familiar. -- 
Bonebreaker

Poleward 681 -- Dude! What's with the warrior names? -- Wormspine

Hello Telo -- You're no Jell-O fish! -- Netfisher (685)

Riff Raff -- Red-shifted?!  Snuffed out my blue-lighted special polearm?! That really 
chaps my green demon-hide! -- Poleward, the hulk (if you can tell me what color is my 
flowing cloak, then I may crush only your skull, not your soul!)

Wyan -- Hmm... I guess a favorite short spear is still shorter than a long spear, eh? 
-- Fishbone, manager of Warmage

Sielba -- Yea, I'm full of surprises. -- ghost of a poleward, no stranger to irony

Ori -- Money patterns exist!

Artemis leapt! Into that stench?! What courage! -- Fishbone

Fungo -- Ahhh... then shame on the Gladiatorial Commission! -- your secret admirer 
(say it with me: "GC! Shame!")

Wormspine -- another time, slime! -- Wetrust (681)

Agent R -- Yeah, sorry; no more duplicates. (It was for that story I been working on; 
didn't realize there was a prohibition on it!) -- Fishbone

Sielba -- So that's what a poleward is.

Hail! His Magical Highness the Benevolent Master D -- And well-met! It is I, none 
other than the well-travelled, much maligned, multi-named wheezin' geezer "Master G" 
of Nemesis (32) in North Fork arena 47 circa 1986 -- now Fishbone of Warmage (formerly 
Luell of Spearpeople, and before that Disciple, manager of Wayjourner, among others -- 
all one and the same) at your service!

Halftime Show -- Not really sure what to say. -- The Ghost of Jabba The Hitt

Feral Blade -- Are you sure a feral blade isn't a Sith Lord's light sabre? -- RBI-Wan 
Kenobi

Greg Olsen -- When you say I haven't given up yet, you mean the opposite, right? -- F-
3PO

Death Bringer -- You do not deserve that name, but you are at least sending me to the 
Dark Arena -- Fungo Fett

Telorinthe Tuffies -- Hello Telo! My Stable now has Five Fighters! May They Live to 
Prosper! Make Ready Your Blades! Salute! -- Hammer

Riff-Raff -- Still Enjoy Your Writing! Salute! -- Hammer

Artemis -- Enjoyed Your *Time Hops* to the Dark Arena Hole! Salute! -- Hammer

Tokugawa -- Glad I Survived the Infirmary! Enjoy Those Victory Skills! Salute! -- 
Mando Telo Hammer

Diabolique -- Death Stalks the Telo Arena Sands! Rest In Peace! Salute! -- Hondo Telo 
Hammer

Skarface -- My Loss! Your Victory! I Hope Hammer Does Not Give Me a Torch for a 
Weapon! Salute! -- Obedience Hammer

Poleward (685) -- Your Manager Should Rename You Polecat for Sure! Thanks for the Win! 
Salute! -- Hello Telo Hammer

Mercilus -- Interesting Turn of Events for My Victory! Thanks for the Skills! Salute! 
-- Telo Zebra Hammer

Telorinthe Tuffies -- See You on the Telo Arena Sands! Glad to have a Full Squad in 
Telo Arena for Now! -- Hammer the WordSmith

Weirdo -- Hmmm, strange when I went to go look turn 449 (the turn you-know-what 
happened) is missing from the old newsletters list... -- Channel Master

Agent_R -- I swear I'm not trying to kill your warriors they just insist on fighting 
mine! -- Channel Master

Mgr of Warmage -- Dude you really gotta change those names. -- NFL Network

Sky -- GG nice job improving your record. -- J.J. Watt

Ghost of Jabba The Hitt -- It's not my fault your slow! -- Halftime Show

F-3PO -- Really... -- Greg Olsen

Borys -- Bro I think it's time we took a break from each other. -- Antonio Brown 

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

GREG OLSEN was butchered by ARENAMASTER in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
FUNGO FETT was slaughtered by ARENAMASTER in a 1 minute gruesome Dark Arena battle.
POLEWARD 2 was murdered by SPYMASTER in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
POLEWARD 4 was slaughtered by WURM KIN in a 2 minute bloody Dark Arena brawl.
DEAD was assassinated by MOUNTAIN TROLL in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
FURLESS was murdered by MOUNTAIN TROLL in a 1 minute Dark Arena competition.
BEKI bested SUNDER JR. in a popular 6 minute Bloodfeud duel.
FROSTFANG bested HONDO TELO HAMMER in a 1 minute Bloodfeud match.
MANIAC MAULER devastated J.J. WATT in a 2 minute Challenge Title competition.
KING KILLER vanquished ICE MAN in a action packed 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
MIDNIGHT overpowered SKY in a 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
ANTONIO BROWN overpowered LALALI-PUY in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
VAMPIRE ON FIRE executed MOOSE HEAD in a 1 minute brutal one-sided Challenge fight.
DEATH BRINGER delivered the death blow upon FRENEMY in a 4 minute Challenge conflict.
MANGO CHUTNEY demolished REESE'S PB in a popular 1 minute mismatched Challenge match.
BLOODAXE was overcome by HEAT WAVE in a 2 minute Challenge fight.
RBI-WAN KENOBI was vanquished by SIDEWINDER in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge bout.
UMPIRE PALPATINE was unbelievably bested by PHYSICALITY in a 2 minute Challenge fray.
TWINKLE TWINKLE unbelievably bested STABBMOOR in a 10 minute Challenge brawl.
BONEBREAKER luckily beat SIELBA in a 2 minute brutal Challenge match.
KESTREL beat MOM'S MAD in a 2 minute Challenge match.
NOTHINGBURGER was savagely defeated by HEAT STROKE in a 3 minute Challenge conflict.
WETRUST was narrowly defeated by TELO ZEBRA HAMMER in a 4 minute Challenge duel.
POLEWARD 3 was vanquished by EMBER in a tiring 8 minute mismatched Challenge fray.
DUSK was killed by FOX HOUND in a 1 minute Challenge fight.
PUKEI overpowered HILLARY CLINTON in a popular 1 minute one-sided duel.
BURGER KING outwaited VETERAN MERCENARY in a popular 7 minute fight.
BORYS was savagely defeated by CHOCO in a action packed 2 minute veteran's melee.
VICIOUS VENOM was beaten by GUILFORD in a 2 minute veteran's fray.
MASTER ROSHI overcame F-3PO in a 2 minute one-sided duel.
SIX FLAGS was defeated by 0-2 COUNT in a action packed 4 minute uneven fight.
BIBIDEE was luckily beaten by CHARMING KITTEN in a 2 minute brutal match.
MADNESS was overpowered by HALFTIME SHOW in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
B-GONE was outlasted by RIDE OR DIE in a action packed 7 minute bout.
WORMSPINE demolished DANGEROUS CRIMINAL in a 2 minute gory uneven contest.
OBEDIENCE HAMMER was butchered by SKARFACE in a 2 minute bloody one-sided battle.
TACO SUPREME was beaten by MASIV in a 1 minute brutal novice's fray.
HELLO TELO HAMMER demolished HELHOUND in a 1 minute one-sided conflict.
TOSHI ARITO won victory over MERCILUS in a 2 minute novice's bout.
14 DAY QUARANTINE vanquished CAM NEWTON in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
TOKUGAWA was outlasted by 6AM ALARM in a exciting 11 minute beginner's competition.
MANDO TELO HAMMER was demolished by MORTALIS in a crowd pleasing 1 minute uneven duel.
NETFISHER viciously subdued KESTREL in a popular 4 minute bloody amateur's duel.
AT-AT AT BAT overpowered EMBEZZLING SCRIBE in a 1 minute uneven competition.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|TOTAL PARRY                     15         TOTAL PARRY       86 -  46 -  1      65  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                 13         AIMED BLOW        60 -  48 -  5      56  |
|BASHING ATTACK                  12         SLASHING ATTACK   55 -  53 -  3      51  |
|AIMED BLOW                      11         STRIKING ATTACK   45 -  49 -  3      48  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  9         PARRY-RIPOSTE     16 -  19 -  0      46  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   7         LUNGING ATTACK    41 -  49 -  4      46  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    6         WALL OF STEEL     28 -  34 -  2      45  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    4         BASHING ATTACK    46 -  72 -  4      39  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         PARRY-STRIKE       7 -  11 -  1      39  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      1         PARRY-LUNGE        4 -  16 -  1      20  |

Turn 179 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  0     LUNGING ATTACK     3 -  4         4  TOTAL PARRY    
TOTAL PARRY       12 -  3     SLASHING ATTACK    5 -  8         3  SLASHING ATTACK
BASHING ATTACK     8 -  4     WALL OF STEEL      1 -  5         1  AIMED BLOW     
AIMED BLOW         7 -  4     STRIKING ATTACK    1 -  8         1  STRIKING ATTACK
                              PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  1         1  PARRY-STRIKE   
                              PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  4         1  BASHING ATTACK 

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
AIMED BLOW       MANIAC MAULER 542          20  14  1  118 THE FEROCIOUS FIVE (64)
SLASHING ATTACK  CHOCO 530                  20  14  0  110 HOUSE OF FUR (62)
TOTAL PARRY      BURGER KING 559            23   9  0   97 THE FEROCIOUS FIVE (64)
WALL OF STEEL    VICIOUS VENOM 540          19  14  2   88 THE FEROCIOUS FIVE (64)
LUNGING ATTACK   KING KILLER 543            18  15  1   79 THE FEROCIOUS FIVE (64)
BASHING ATTACK   VAMPIRE ON FIRE 512        13  10  3   68 CONJURE UP THE SUN (60)
STRIKING ATTACK  SUNDER JR. 660              5   3  1   43 THE RED COMPANY (75)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is KING KILLER 543.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was TOKUGAWA 701.  The ten other most popular fighters were WETRUST 681, SUNDER JR. 
660, TELO ZEBRA HAMMER 693, FRENEMY 600, STABBMOOR 636, SIX FLAGS 469, B-GONE 655, 
CHOCO 530, NETFISHER 685, and MANIAC MAULER 542.

The least popular fighter this week was POLEWARD 3 683.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were EMBER 634, TWINKLE TWINKLE 571, 6AM ALARM 706, CAM NEWTON 707, HELHOUND 
708, TACO SUPREME 687, OBEDIENCE HAMMER 676, MADNESS 657, F-3PO 630, and RBI-WAN 
KENOBI 628.

The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn:

PUKEI (83-557) KAME HOUSE (61)