DM 083 Newsletter

DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date : 07/18/2023 Duedate: 08/14/2023

TELORINTHE ARENA

DM-83 TURN-210

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

0-2 COUNT
BAD SIGNS (24)
(83-603) [20-10-0,107]

Chartered Recognition Leader Unchartered Recognition Leader

0-2 COUNT FATHER CUTHBERT
BAD SIGNS (24) LINDISFARNE (86)
(83-603) [20-10-0,107] (83-883) [2-0-1,25]

Popularity Leader This Weeks Favorite

TYRANN MATHIEU SALACIA VILE
NFL NETWORK (63) SORCERER KINGS (66)
(83-783) [16-9-0,62] (83-853) [9-3-1,98]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

BAD SIGNS (24)

TEAMS ON THE MOVE TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name Point Gain Chartered Team
1. CLASSICS (83) 36
2. THE DRAGONS (65) 34 CLASSICS (83)
3. BAD SIGNS (24) 29 Unchartered Team
4. KAME HOUSE (61) 12
5. NFL NETWORK (63) 5 LINDISFARNE (86)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record W L K % Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns W L K
1/ 1*LINDISFARNE (86) 7 3 2 70.0 1/ 4 BAD SIGNS (24) 10 5 0
2/ 2 CLASSICS (83) 56 28 0 66.7 2/ 1 THE DRAGONS (65) 9 4 1
3/ 3 THE DRAGONS (65) 179 113 12 61.3 3/ 2 THE FEROCIOUS FIVE (64) 8 6 0
4/ 4 BAD SIGNS (24) 401 258 33 60.8 4/ 7*LINDISFARNE (86) 7 3 2
5/ 5 THE FEROCIOUS FIVE (64) 179 138 6 56.5 5/ 5 CLASSICS (83) 7 8 0
6/ 6 KAME HOUSE (61) 164 136 10 54.7 6/ 6 NFL NETWORK (63) 6 6 1
7/ 7 NFL NETWORK (63) 162 145 10 52.8 7/ 3 SORCERER KINGS (66) 5 7 0
8/ 8 SORCERER KINGS (66) 148 167 11 47.0 8/ 8 SUPER BRASH BROTHER (43) 5 10 3
9/ 9 SUPER BRASH BROTHER (43) 44 60 11 42.3 9/ 9 KAME HOUSE (61) 4 8 0

'*' Unchartered team '-' Team did not fight this turn
(###) Avoid teams by their Team Id ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

TEAM SPOTLIGHT

Road to Lindisfarne 789 A.D. Summer, night before Hermit Bilfrith's arrival

NOT drunk! Just gotta piss it out is all! He hiccuped at the cold air outside his tent
flaps and looked up at the crescent moon through the branches. Snakes coiled around
his feet and pulled him down to lay with the lady there. Mmmm... he leaned in to kiss
her face, so hairy, so... bloody? WHA...!? He shoved at the body, scrambled to his
feet, then stumbled back through the trees toward the rough voices at the campfire:
"...but how'd he FIND you and your scrawny arse hidin' in the sewers of Telorinthe?"
"And why'd he spare YOUR miserable life?" Flame-shadows danced on the leaves above the
Embezzling Scribe. He shrugged at the two Mordant Deserters, "I have no idea. He just
stopped, like he was listening to someone, and then he walked away." One big man
laughed. "Har! I'd've stuck 'im in the back right then!" The other one nodded and they
both drank a toast to each other's wicked grins.

He slipped and fell over the log they were sitting on, and the soldiers roared. "Oi!
No! You're not drunk! Har! You theievin' RUNT!" "Pissed it all out then have ye? Har
Har!" He batted aside the ember-sticks they threw down onto him and harbled through
the sparks, "He's DEAD and GONE!" They sobered, stood, and dragged him back to the
empty rope-ties. "That old holy fart BASTARD! Rob him, I said, KILL him! But no, you
said let him live. Let him show us the way to his church full of gold and silver, you
said. YOU AND YER STUPID ARSE!" Then the Embezzling Scribe said, "Um maybe he still
will?" Again they sobered, ordered each other to get the hound, and kicked at the
moaning body. "GET UP, YOU SACK OF DONKEY-PISS! Told you it were bad luck that we let
TWO scrawny scribes join our band! Bested by an old holy fart! HAR HAR!"

The next morning, at Lindisfarne...

He clutched at his wound and sprinted past the last wood hut into the fog beyond,
toward the rough voices of his crew. "There's too many of them, I said. But look at
all the gold, you said. YOU AND YER STUPID ARSE!" He tripped on a body laying in the
grass, stopped and looked down into the empty eyes of the Embezzling Scribe, then
hurried on toward the Mordant Deserters behind a boulder above the beach. "Track all
night that old holy fart, lose my hound in the currents around this accursed island,
and then LEAVE EMPTY HANDED?! NAY!!" He waved his bloody hand at them and felt
surprise at his relief that they were both still alive. "He's DEAD and GONE!" They
looked up from their bandaging. "Oi! That's what you always say!" "His luck ran out!
Shoulda died in those sewers of Telorinthe anyway!" He dodged the rocks they threw at
him and ducked down close to them. Then he opened his bloody shirt, pulled out a gold
cross encrusted with gemstones, and returned their wicked grins. "You thievin' runt
BASTARD!!"

DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
Notes from the arena champ.

Alas, it looks like my time owning the throne is going to end sooner rather than
later, and the killers I have left on the team aren't likely to regain the throne any
time soon.

As I look at the managers who have contenders...

Chit Chaff -- How sad to run a team that is under .500 AND a kill ratio of under 3%.
And if that wasn't bad enough, he needs to learn about personal hygiene.

Dark Orc Lover -- It has been said that the Pen is Mightier than the Sword. Somebody
please tell Dark Orc Lover what this means! The way he uses pens is frightening on
many levels.

And then Plague -- Her dad is so fat, when he wears heels, he strikes oil.

-- General Bashur

P.S. Your daddy is so stupid it takes him two hours to watch 60 minutes.

P.P.S. Your daddy is so ugly just after he was born, his mother said "What a
treasure!" and his father said, "Yes, let's go bury it."

In case anyone cares:
Mariah: 10(1)-5-13-17-15-14-11 N/G ST, +4 decise, fave learn attack
(the only part I care about is the last column of the record... She did their
managers a favor, with names like UR DRAXA and TOURNEY #4)

SPY REPORT

Welcome back to the only slow tournament arena in the land! Telorinthe has gathered
once again to celebrate the glorious gladiators who fight to defend us from the
clutches of Chaos! I am Ori Starbloom, and I will be your reporter for today's
festivities. The numbers were down slightly from our recent activity, but it was still
a nice day to be in the arena. A bad day in the arena is better than a good day at
work, or so I am told. I work in the arena, so I am never sure if I'm having a good
work day or a bad arena day. Let's get to today's action!

Our former Duelmaster, Mariah, fought her final fight in our arena. She decided to
make it memorable and visit the Dark Arena. Black Orc received the luck (or unluck)
of the draw depending on the outcome to face our newest Lord Protector and Duelmaster.
It was an exciting final fight that lasted 4 minutes, but in the end, Mariah fell to
Black Orc. Luckily, it was not the end for her, but a quick trip to the Isle of the
Eye healers mended all wounds.

The title fight came later when 0-2 Count met Salacia Vile. It was a random match-up
that took 11 minutes to finish. Yes, it was a bit longer than we have grown
accustomed to with Mariah's reign, but a good fight nonetheless. 0-2 Count emerged
from that long fight as our newest Duelmaster. Congrats to 0-2, who is managed by
Dark Oracle. There was no graduation notice, and that means we get to witness a
genuine title defense next turn. The Challenger Champions are slim but still
formidable. Will 0-2 face one of them, or will Arenamaster put forth another?

The Dragons are our most avoided team today. They were mostly avoided by Dark
Oracle's crew, Bad Signs. The majority of people I know like to avoid their mom when
she is angry; however, I do not think most gladiators are known for their brains.
Mom's Mad was the most challenged warrior. It would be Mom's Mad that got the
challenge through to Sacha of Sorcerer Kings. As further proof an angry mother is not
to be trifled with, Sacha lost to Mom's Mad in a 2-minute fight.

I will mention that all but one death occurred in the Dark Arena. Classics' newest
addition, Illmatic, was killed by Mynx. General Bashur is going to be happy that he
has racked up another kill - that makes three over the last three turns! Classics was
also dealing with another death from the previous turn against NFL Network. It looks
like the revenge game is going to be going strong over in that guild house for the
next few turns!

Okay, I need to wrap this up in a pretty bow. I am horrible at tying bows, so I will
just try and stop the best way I know how - abruptly! I hope to see each of you next
turn, and I will ask that you invite a friend! I will see you in 28 days.

-- Ori Starbloom

DUELMASTER W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
0-2 COUNT 603 20 10 0 107 BAD SIGNS (24)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
SALACIA VILE 853 9 3 1 98 SORCERER KINGS (66)
RILEY MCCARRON 773 15 12 0 94 NFL NETWORK (63)

CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
GIBBERS 820 10 7 0 84 THE FEROCIOUS FIVE (64)
MOM'S MAD 698 10 9 0 81 BAD SIGNS (24)
14 DAY QUARANTINE 699 11 8 1 76 BAD SIGNS (24)
ONE PIECE 787 14 10 0 74 THE FEROCIOUS FIVE (64)
RAZORCLAW 833 10 5 1 71 THE DRAGONS (65)
SACHA 772 14 13 1 69 SORCERER KINGS (66)
ICEWING 821 8 9 0 68 THE DRAGONS (65)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
RUBBER SOUL 812 13 3 0 66 CLASSICS (83)
KAMIGAWA 808 9 10 0 63 KAME HOUSE (61)
FRED SMOOT 817 8 9 2 63 NFL NETWORK (63)
TYRANN MATHIEU 783 16 9 0 62 NFL NETWORK (63)
VOODOO 811 10 7 0 62 CLASSICS (83)

ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
UG NUT 832 8 7 1 55 THE FEROCIOUS FIVE (64)
SHAMINO 329 8 13 1 52 SUPER BRASH BROTHERS (43)
GARFIELD 863 5 4 0 51 THE FEROCIOUS FIVE (64)
HIRO 848 6 7 1 49 KAME HOUSE (61)
6AM ALARM 706 11 7 0 48 BAD SIGNS (24)
TOMMY MCDONALD 843 9 5 1 48 NFL NETWORK (63)
IRONTAIL 874 6 2 1 43 THE DRAGONS (65)
VIVA LEXA 875 5 2 0 43 SORCERER KINGS (66)
SPIRIT DRAGON 846 7 6 1 42 THE DRAGONS (65)
WAR WITCH 818 5 9 2 42 SUPER BRASH BROTHERS (43)
AJA 854 8 3 0 35 CLASSICS (83)
DUPRE 328 6 15 2 35 SUPER BRASH BROTHERS (43)

CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
TOYOTOMI 822 6 10 0 33 KAME HOUSE (61)
YOKAZA 847 8 5 1 31 KAME HOUSE (61)
EXTRA HOMEWORK 754 4 8 0 27 BAD SIGNS (24)
FATHER CUTHBERT 883 2 0 1 25 LINDISFARNE (86)

INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
BROTHER ALDRED 885 2 0 0 16 LINDISFARNE (86)
READY TO DIE 890 1 0 0 15 CLASSICS (83)
BROTHER AIDAN 882 1 1 0 11 LINDISFARNE (86)
MYNX 892 1 0 1 6 SUPER BRASH BROTHERS (43)
HERMIT BILFRITH 884 1 1 1 5 LINDISFARNE (86)
ELDER FINIAN 881 1 1 0 4 LINDISFARNE (86)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN Revenge?
PERSISTANT BEGGA 0 0 0 FATHER CUTHBERT 883 210 NONE
ILLMATIC 889 0 1 0 CLASSICS 83 MYNX 892 210
KID A 814 9 7 0 CLASSICS 83 FRED SMOOT 817 209 JUST REVENGED
OSU MIKO 879 1 2 0 KAME HOUSE 61 MANDA TELO HAMMER 753 207
DRAG 891 0 1 0 SORCERER KINGS 66 BANDIT PRINCE 210 NONE
DRAJ 797 8 12 0 SORCERER KINGS 66 SHAMINO 329 209
MARIAH 327 16 5 3 SUPER BRASH BROTH 43 BLACK ORC 210 NONE
VALKYRIE 842 3 7 1 SUPER BRASH BROTH 43 IRONTAIL 874 209

PERSONAL ADS

Lord, gve us strength! -- the brothers of Lindisfarne

Embezzling Scribe -- I... I KNOW you! -- Hermit Bilfrith

Valkyrie -- Valhalla is a lie. -- Father Cuthbert

Hermit Bilfrith -- I... I know YOU! -- Embezzling Scribe

LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

MARIAH was dealt death by BLACK ORC in a crowd pleasing 4 minute Dark Arena fight.
DRAG was murdered by BANDIT PRINCE in a 2 minute Dark Arena melee.
RUBBER SOUL luckily beat FRED SMOOT in a 3 minute gruesome Bloodfeud fight.
MOM'S MAD bested SACHA in a 2 minute Challenge contest.
14 DAY QUARANTINE overpowered UG NUT in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
AJA was viciously subdued by TOMMY MCDONALD in a 2 minute gruesome Challenge brawl.
0-2 COUNT luckily beat SALACIA VILE in a exciting 11 minute bloody Title struggle.
GIBBERS overcame ICEWING in a action packed 1 minute fight.
RILEY MCCARRON viciously subdued ONE PIECE in a 2 minute gruesome expert's duel.
VOODOO overpowered TOYOTOMI in a 1 minute uneven duel.
RAZORCLAW overpowered VIVA LEXA in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
YOKAZA was overcome by IRONTAIL in a 2 minute bout.
DUPRE was overpowered by HIRO in a 1 minute one-sided match.
SHAMINO was bested by TYRANN MATHIEU in a exciting 3 minute brutal master's conflict.
GARFIELD unbelievably bested WAR WITCH in a 3 minute bloody bout.
6AM ALARM was viciously subdued by KAMIGAWA in a 2 minute gruesome fight.
SPIRIT DRAGON defeated THE USEROUS MERCHANT in a 1 minute struggle.
EXTRA HOMEWORK won victory over BROTHER AIDAN in a 1 minute veteran vs. amateur fray.
ELDER FINIAN was devastated by MORDANT DESERTER in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
FATHER CUTHBERT murdered PERSISTANT BEGGAR in a 3 minute one-sided bout.
HERMIT BILFRITH was beaten by READY TO DIE in a 6 minute bloody amateur's fight.
BROTHER ALDRED bested MORDANT DESERTER in a 2 minute novice's bout.
ILLMATIC was dispatched by MYNX in a 1 minute gruesome novice's match.

BATTLE REPORT

MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS
|FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK 10 STRIKING ATTACK 33 - 17 - 2 66 |
|AIMED BLOW 6 WALL OF STEEL 15 - 10 - 1 60 |
|TOTAL PARRY 5 TOTAL PARRY 32 - 24 - 2 57 |
|STRIKING ATTACK 4 AIMED BLOW 33 - 28 - 6 54 |
|BASHING ATTACK 3 LUNGING ATTACK 51 - 55 - 1 48 |
|PARRY-LUNGE 3 SLASHING ATTACK 21 - 25 - 3 46 |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE 3 BASHING ATTACK 21 - 26 - 1 45 |
|SLASHING ATTACK 3 PARRY-LUNGE 15 - 21 - 1 42 |
|WALL OF STEEL 2 PARRY-RIPOSTE 11 - 18 - 0 38 |
|PARRY-STRIKE 1 PARRY-STRIKE 1 - 2 - 1 33 |

Turn 210 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are:

LUNGING ATTACK 7 - 3 PARRY-LUNGE 1 - 2 3 TOTAL PARRY
BASHING ATTACK 2 - 1 PARRY-RIPOSTE 1 - 2 3 STRIKING ATTACK
TOTAL PARRY 3 - 2 SLASHING ATTACK 1 - 2 3 LUNGING ATTACK
AIMED BLOW 3 - 3 STRIKING ATTACK 1 - 3 1 SLASHING ATTACK
WALL OF STEEL 1 - 1 PARRY-STRIKE 0 - 1 1 BASHING ATTACK

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME
FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME
TOTAL PARRY 0-2 COUNT 603 20 10 0 107 BAD SIGNS (24)
STRIKING ATTACK SALACIA VILE 853 9 3 1 98 SORCERER KINGS (66)
SLASHING ATTACK RILEY MCCARRON 773 15 12 0 94 NFL NETWORK (63)
LUNGING ATTACK GIBBERS 820 10 7 0 84 THE FEROCIOUS FIVE (64)
BASHING ATTACK 14 DAY QUARANTINE 699 11 8 1 76 BAD SIGNS (24)
PARRY-LUNGE TYRANN MATHIEU 783 16 9 0 62 NFL NETWORK (63)
PARRY-RIPOSTE GARFIELD 863 5 4 0 51 THE FEROCIOUS FIVE (64)
AIMED BLOW IRONTAIL 874 6 2 1 43 THE DRAGONS (65)
WALL OF STEEL AJA 854 8 3 0 35 CLASSICS (83)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is TYRANN MATHIEU 783. The most popular warrior this
turn was SALACIA VILE 853. The ten other most popular fighters were TYRANN MATHIEU
783, FRED SMOOT 817, TOMMY MCDONALD 843, RILEY MCCARRON 773, IRONTAIL 874, SHAMINO
329, WAR WITCH 818, KAMIGAWA 808, READY TO DIE 890, and RUBBER SOUL 812.

The least popular fighter this week was HERMIT BILFRITH 884. The other ten least
popular fighters were FATHER CUTHBERT 883, ELDER FINIAN 881, DUPRE 328, VIVA LEXA
875, TOYOTOMI 822, 0-2 COUNT 603, UG NUT 832, ILLMATIC 889, BROTHER AIDAN 882, and
6AM ALARM 706.

The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn:

MARIAH (83-327) SUPER BRASH BROTHERS (43)