DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER
Date : 02/15/2018 Duedate: 02/28/2018
BLACKSTONE ARENA
DM 84 TURN 252
This Week's Top Honors
THE DUELMASTER IS
KING OF FOOLS
FEAR FACTORY 15 (7497)
(84-50766) [11-16-0,99]
Chartered Recognition Leader Unchartered Recognition Leader
KING OF FOOLS PRIMARY
FEAR FACTORY 15 (7497) ROOKIE HALEN 35 (4808)
(84-50766) [11-16-0,99] (84-27109) [2-4-0,80]
Popularity Leader This Week's Favorite
BLOODBATH & BEYOND FIREWING PHOENIX
GONE SHOPPING 2 (8455) FEAR FACTORY 15 (7497)
(84-49238) [22-33-1,106] (84-57164) [8-6-0,68]
THE CURRENT TOP TEAM
FEAR FACTORY 15 (7497)
TEAMS ON THE MOVE TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name Point Gain Chartered Team
1. THINGS I HATE 2 (6040) 18
2. THIRSTY THUGS 0511 (6319) 16 THIRSTY THUGS 0511 (6319)
3. NIRVANA (4887) 16 Unchartered Team
4. FEAR FACTORY 15 (7497) 12
5. THE IN SOUND (8450) 9 OTTODROME 123 (6912)
The Top Teams
Career Win-Loss Record W L K % Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns W L K
1- 3*WORLD BLADES (7946) 2 0 0 100. 1/ 3 FEAR FACTORY 15 (7497) 4 2 1
2- 6*NOT A WORD (7947) 1 0 0 100. 2- 1 BASHUR BRIGADE 2.0 (5896) 3 1 0
3/13 THIRSTY THUGS 0511 (6319) 9 4 1 69.2 3- 2*THE MOTHERSHIP ZU (7287) 3 2 1
4-12 CONS I (8156) 9 4 0 69.2 4/ 9 FEAR FACTORY 16 (8242) 3 2 0
5/15 Q-SCHOOL (1323) 9 4 0 69.2 5/16*WEIRD STUDENTS 8 (9613) 3 7 1
6-19 SOUP FORCES 73 (3795) 9 5 0 64.3 6/15 NIRVANA (4887) 3 7 0
7-22 TODAY TOO (4626) 13 8 1 61.9 7- 4*WORLD BLADES (7946) 2 0 0
8-27 SOUP FORCES 22 (3744) 8 7 0 53.3 8/37 THIRSTY THUGS 0511 (6319) 2 0 0
9-29 THIRSTY THUGS 1403 (7551) 11 10 2 52.4 9- 5 ARCANE FOLLY (5894) 2 0 0
10-30 IN UTERO (5153) 27 26 0 50.9 10/43 Q-SCHOOL (1323) 2 0 0
11-31 CROOKED RAIN (5155) 35 34 1 50.7 11/50 FEAR FACTORY 19 (8241) 2 1 0
12/38 THE IN SOUND (8450) 12 12 1 50.0 12/56 THE IN SOUND (8450) 2 1 0
13/26*OTTODROME 123 (6912) 5 5 1 50.0 13/57 PADDED WALLS (8452) 2 1 0
14-32 THIRSTY THUGS 1451 (8850) 5 5 0 50.0 14/59*ROOKIE HALEN 35 (4808) 2 1 0
15-33*THE MOTHERSHIP AT (4675) 4 4 0 50.0 15-10 INTERNATIONAL DRIV (7165) 2 2 0
16-36 INTERNATIONAL DRIV (7165) 26 27 2 49.1 16-11 COLLEGE RADIO X (7282) 2 2 0
17-37 THE MOTHERSHIP AG (4663) 68 72 4 48.6 17/58*THINGS I HATE (6039) 2 2 0
18/41 FEAR FACTORY 19 (8241) 19 22 1 46.3 18-12 THE MOTHERSHIP AG (4663) 2 2 0
Career Win-Loss Record W L K % Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns W L K
19-42*CAR SONGS (6375) 9 11 1 45.0 19-13 ARREST ASSURED (9413) 2 3 0
20/56*THINGS I HATE (6039) 4 5 1 44.4 20-14 THE MOTHERSHIP CA (5110) 2 3 0
21/43 071709AK (1799) 9 12 0 42.9 21-18 THIRSTY THUGS 1451 (8850) 1 0 0
22-47 THE MOTHERSHIP CA (5110) 37 50 2 42.5 22-25*NOT A WORD (7947) 1 0 0
23-48 COLLEGE RADIO X (7282) 26 38 2 40.6 23-26*OBELISK 015 (8152) 1 0 0
24/50 GONE SHOPPING 2 (8455) 38 56 4 40.4 24-33*THE MAESTRO (8448) 1 0 0
25-49 ARCANE FOLLY (5894) 10 15 1 40.0 25-34 THIRSTY THUGS 1403 (7551) 1 0 0
26-51 OBELISK 011 (8148) 9 14 2 39.1 26- 6 CROOKED RAIN (5155) 1 0 0
27-52 THIRSTY THUGS 1466 (8835) 7 11 0 38.9 27- 7 SOUP FORCES 73 (3795) 1 0 0
28/53 FEAR FACTORY 15 (7497) 39 62 2 38.6 28-48 THIRSTY THUGS 1466 (8835) 1 1 0
29-55 RECORDS (8734) 6 10 0 37.5 29/35*OTTODROME 123 (6912) 1 1 0
30/54 WILD THINGS (6974) 45 77 5 36.9 30-51*CAR SONGS (6375) 1 1 0
31-58 DUEL HACKS (8733) 30 55 3 35.3 31-52 TODAY TOO (4626) 1 1 0
32-59 ARREST ASSURED (9413) 12 22 1 35.3 32/55 GONE SHOPPING 2 (8455) 1 2 0
33/57 SOUP FORCES 2 (3724) 12 22 0 35.3 33/60 SOUP FORCES 2 (3724) 1 2 0
34/63 PADDED WALLS (8452) 10 19 0 34.5 34/ 8 071709AK (1799) 1 2 0
35/65 FEAR FACTORY 16 (8242) 7 14 0 33.3 35-63*OBELISK 010 (8147) 1 4 0
36-61*OBELISK 015 (8152) 3 6 0 33.3 36-64 OBELISK 011 (8148) 1 4 0
37/73*ROOKIE HALEN 35 (4808) 2 4 0 33.3 37/66 THINGS I HATE 2 (6040) 1 4 0
38-64 BASHUR BRIGADE 2.0 (5896) 23 49 0 31.9 38-65*THE MOTHERSHIP AT (4675) 1 4 0
39/69 THINGS I HATE 2 (6040) 5 11 0 31.2 39/47 WILD THINGS (6974) 0 3 0
40-66*THE MOTHERSHIP ZU (7287) 5 12 2 29.4 40-67 DUEL HACKS (8733) 0 2 0
41/70*WEIRD STUDENTS 8 (9613) 6 15 1 28.6 41-54 RECORDS (8734) 0 2 0
42/68 FEARSOME 5 (6653) 11 30 1 26.8 42/73*WEATHER CLIPS (7048) 0 2 0
43-71 WOS ADU (3584) 7 20 0 25.9 43/68 FEARSOME 5 (6653) 0 2 0
44-72*OBELISK 010 (8147) 5 15 0 25.0 44-49 CONS I (8156) 0 1 0
45-74*THE MAESTRO (8448) 2 9 0 18.2 45-62 IN UTERO (5153) 0 1 0
46/76 NIRVANA (4887) 5 34 0 12.8 46-69 WOS ADU (3584) 0 1 0
47/77*WEATHER CLIPS (7048) 0 3 0 0.0 47-53 SOUP FORCES 22 (3744) 0 1 0
'*' Unchartered team '-' Team did not fight this turn
(###) Avoid teams by their Team Id ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank
SPY REPORT
It's me, The Unknown Spymaster here with my bag to give you the news on last
week's fights. Say good-bye to BASHUR BRIGADE 2.0, as they are pushed from the
coveted top team spot by the FEAR FACTORY 15 stable. Take a look at WEIRD STUDENTS
8's act, as they have a 1-1-1 week and gain 11 places in the team ranking. Rising in
the ranks like a loaf of armored bread (okay, I admit it's corny) is THIRSTY THUGS
0511, who swept up 29 places in the ranks. Take a look at Q-SCHOOL's act, as they
have a 1-0-0 week and gain 33 places in the team ranking. Rising in the ranks like a
loaf of armored bread (okay, I admit it's corny) is FEAR FACTORY 19, who swept up 39
places in the ranks. Take a look at THE IN SOUND's act, as they have a 1-0-0 week
and gain 44 places in the team ranking. Rising in the ranks like a loaf of armored
bread (okay, I admit it's corny) is PADDED WALLS, who swept up 44 places in the
ranks. Take a look at ROOKIE HALEN 35's act, as they have a 1-0-0 week and gain 45
places in the team ranking. Rising in the ranks like a loaf of armored bread (okay,
I admit it's corny) is THINGS I HATE, who swept up 41 places in the ranks. Take a
look at GONE SHOPPING 2's act, as they have a 1-0-0 week and gain 23 places in the
team ranking. Rising in the ranks like a loaf of armored bread (okay, I admit it's
corny) is SOUP FORCES 2, who swept up 27 places in the ranks. What goes up, must
come down. Watch out BLACKSTONE! 071709AK may fall on you as it crushes past the
teams below it to fall on the 34th spot. Take a look at THINGS I HATE 2's act, as
they have a 1-0-0 week and gain 29 places in the team ranking. Rising in the ranks
like a loaf of armored bread (okay, I admit it's corny) is WEATHER CLIPS, who swept
up 31 places in the ranks. Take a look at FEARSOME 5's act, as they have a 0-1-0
week and gain 25 places in the team ranking. Hey everybody, watch out for EARLY
MORNINGS, who flew up 18 points in the rankings after mashing BLUE ICE like a melon.
Keep your eye on this gal. And falling like a basher in the top ten was BERRIES, who
dropped 11 points after a disappointing (to say the least) bout with SHAWNA. Well,
if ya don't shows up at the laundromat, ya can'ts wash yer clothes. CHAMPION did not
fight this week so its title was forfeit. In front of all the crowds, KING OF FOOLS
took the Duelmaster's crown for his own. I give the bum two weeks. 4 out of 5
gladiators surveyed protect the body, so try and avoid aiming at that location.
Here is other news that is of note. And hey, kiddies, those of you who didn't
avoid TODAY TOO, please raise you hand. Wow. Does BLACKSTONE really have that many
liars? For those of you who like math, try this one: TODAY TOO + Weapons That go
Boom = 071709AK + Avoid City.
Being a spy is great--other people die and you spend the rest of the day
drinking to their memory. Better tanked than dead! Knowing when to use the right
tactics at the proper time is a very important step on the road to Duelmaster.
Well, there's the manager of the BLACKSTONE giving me the 'cut' sign (or is that
'They're going to strangle you in the alley?). Well, there goes another Spy Report.
Good luck in next week's fights. Its been fun, and I'm sure you enjoyed it (boos).
Now that I've got you worked up for Snide Clemens, I'll be leaving-- The Unknown
Spymaster
DUELMASTER W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
KING OF FOOLS 50766 11 16 0 99 FEAR FACTORY 15 (7497)
CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
-FRACTURED FURY 47055 14 6 0 119 THE MOTHERSHIP CA (5110)
-BRUISE 41926 13 9 0 107 COLLEGE RADIO X (7282)
-SAUSAGE FINGERS 31771 15 9 0 103 THE MOTHERSHIP CA (5110)
-MASSAGE PARLOR 41111 13 3 0 97 INTERNATIONAL DRIVE (7165)
-CALDO DE QUESO 21274 9 5 0 96 SOUP FORCES 73 (3795)
-TWILIGHT SPARKLE 49492 11 5 0 94 THE MOTHERSHIP AG (4663)
CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
-SCUMFIST 50844 15 23 0 90 DUEL HACKS (8733)
JASMINE SAGE 9903 7 6 0 90 071709AK (1799)
-VAINLY ASSAULT 51536 5 5 0 90 THIRSTY THUGS 1451 (8850)
POW 49213 12 7 1 88 THE IN SOUND (8450)
-DATING GRIMM'S EX 33658 5 0 0 87 ARCANE FOLLY (5894)
QUAGMIRE 6998 9 4 0 83 Q-SCHOOL (1323)
-SORREL 21019 8 7 0 83 SOUP FORCES 22 (3744)
PRIMARY 27109 2 4 0 80 ROOKIE HALEN 35 (4808)
-MEGA GATOR VS PREDAT 33668 13 12 0 77 BASHUR BRIGADE 2.0 (5896)
BORSCHT 20918 12 22 0 73 SOUP FORCES 2 (3724)
-VITRIFY 47188 9 4 0 72 CONS I (8156)
-DAXIL 20124 7 20 0 69 WOS ADU (3584)
-BLING STING 26275 4 0 0 69 THE MOTHERSHIP AT (4675)
FIREWING PHOENIX 57164 8 6 0 68 FEAR FACTORY 15 (7497)
AIMED BLOWS 34546 4 4 1 68 THINGS I HATE (6039)
CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
FUGUE STATE 49223 10 15 0 66 PADDED WALLS (8452)
CARD SHARK 40444 9 10 1 58 FEARSOME 5 (6653)
-ANTIBIOTIC 47140 3 2 0 58 OBELISK 015 (8152)
TURN TO SLAG 57170 7 2 0 57 FEAR FACTORY 19 (8241)
ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
-POSTAL POLICE 51460 7 11 0 56 THIRSTY THUGS 1466 (8835)
-SOLICITATION 54546 7 4 1 55 ARREST ASSURED (9413)
-ALSO 44 50842 9 26 1 54 DUEL HACKS (8733)
-BOJANGLES 47034 8 6 1 53 INTERNATIONAL DRIVE (7165)
-SERVE THE SERVANTS 29097 5 11 0 50 IN UTERO (5153)
-RIPPLE 47123 5 4 2 48 OBELISK 011 (8148)
-FROTHING 47116 2 2 0 48 OBELISK 010 (8147)
EARLY MORNINGS 34548 3 6 0 46 THINGS I HATE 2 (6040)
WALL OF FIRE 57163 3 3 0 44 FEAR FACTORY 16 (8242)
BLUE ICE 39638 4 2 1 41 OTTODROME 123 (6912)
-DISDAIN 47117 3 4 0 40 OBELISK 010 (8147)
-THE ORANGE ONE 57256 2 0 2 40 THE MOTHERSHIP ZU (7287)
ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
-HOW PILE 43378 3 8 0 39 THIRSTY THUGS 1403 (7551)
-FOLKWAY 50847 6 6 0 38 RECORDS (8734)
SILKY SWEET 55676 3 3 0 34 WEIRD STUDENTS 8 (9613)
CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
IDLE IVAN 55675 2 4 1 33 WEIRD STUDENTS 8 (9613)
-BAD SERVICE 34552 2 3 0 33 THINGS I HATE 2 (6040)
SHAWNA 56524 2 0 0 33 THIRSTY THUGS 0511 (6319)
-EAT YOUR FEET 36498 5 3 1 31 CAR SONGS (6375)
-COLUMBO 49203 2 4 0 30 THE MAESTRO (8448)
-FLAVOR SAVER 56474 3 1 0 28 OBELISK 011 (8148)
-TODAY'S STAR 56891 3 6 0 27 THE MOTHERSHIP AG (4663)
-UNACQUAINTED WINK 57014 4 1 0 26 ARREST ASSURED (9413)
-SOUTH BRONX 36499 4 5 0 25 CAR SONGS (6375)
JAGSTANG 57217 3 1 0 25 NIRVANA (4887)
BLOOD RECKONING 57180 2 5 0 24 FEAR FACTORY 16 (8242)
INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
-POINTY STICK 56893 4 3 0 22 BASHUR BRIGADE 2.0 (5896)
BERRIES 57118 3 2 1 22 WILD THINGS (6974)
-ZULU 57239 1 1 0 20 THE MOTHERSHIP ZU (7287)
-QUEENSBRIDGE 57361 1 0 0 20 COLLEGE RADIO X (7282)
-SAN LUCAS 45974 2 0 0 17 WORLD BLADES (7946)
-CHILLAX 45981 1 0 0 16 NOT A WORD (7947)
-IHOP 50248 3 3 0 15 INTERNATIONAL DRIVE (7165)
-CESPEDES 57305 1 0 0 15 THE MOTHERSHIP ZU (7287)
COME AS YOU ARE 57408 1 0 0 15 NIRVANA (4887)
-PARAGON 41955 0 4 0 12 THE MOTHERSHIP ZU (7287)
-BLIZZARD HERDER 57384 1 0 1 10 FEAR FACTORY 15 (7497)
-FALSE PRETENSES 57204 1 0 0 7 ARREST ASSURED (9413)
-SLY SAM 56818 0 1 0 7 WEIRD STUDENTS 8 (9613)
-MUSH MOUNTAIN 56430 0 1 0 7 WEIRD STUDENTS 8 (9613)
-NEEBS 56476 0 1 0 1 OBELISK 010 (8147)
LAKE OF FIRE 57405 0 1 0 1 NIRVANA (4887)
-FEVER DREAM 57389 0 1 0 1 OBELISK 011 (8148)
'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.
THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN Revenge?
FRANCES FARMER 29100 12 7 0 IN UTERO 5153 COTTONS 54525 249
ABOUT A GIRL 57404 0 1 0 NIRVANA 4887 SHEWISH GIANT 252 NONE
STRUNG OUT 27121 1 1 0 ROOKIE HALEN 37 4810 RIPPLE 47123 248 NOT REVENGED
DRAG RACE 57210 0 1 0 THE MOTHERSHIP 5110 BLIZZARD HERDER 57384 251
STEAMY 40424 0 3 0 WEATHER CLIPS 7048 IDLE IVAN 55675 252
LISTLESS LUCY 55674 0 5 0 WEIRD STUDENTS 9613 THE ORANGE ONE 57256 251
JAGUAR 57387 0 1 0 WILD THINGS 6974 BLACK ORC 252 NONE
PERSONAL ADS
LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS
JAGUAR was dealt death by BLACK ORC in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
ABOUT A GIRL was butchered by SHEWISH GIANT in a 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
JASMINE SAGE was luckily beaten by KING OF FOOLS in a 3 minute veteran's Title melee.
BLOODBATH & BEYOND unbelievably bested BORSCHT in a 2 minute gory veteran's contest.
POW demolished M. CHARDINEE in a 1 minute mismatched competition.
QUAGMIRE slimly won victory over CARD SHARK in a tiresome 14 minute master's fight.
PRIMARY overcame FIREWING PHOENIX in a action packed 3 minute gruesome expert's fight.
AIMED BLOWS vanquished WALL OF FIRE in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
FUGUE STATE vanquished SILKY SWEET in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
TURN TO SLAG overpowered JAGSTANG in a 1 minute uneven match.
BLUE ICE was overpowered by EARLY MORNINGS in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
BERRIES was demolished by SHAWNA in a 1 minute mismatched competition.
IDLE IVAN delivered the death blow upon STEAMY in a exciting 1 minute battle.
BLOOD RECKONING devastated EMBEZZLING SCRIBE in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
LAKE OF FIRE was unbelievably bested by EMBEZZLING SCRIBE in a 1 minute fight.
COME AS YOU ARE vanquished PERSISTANT BEGGAR in a unpopular 2 minute one-sided fray.
BATTLE REPORT
MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS
|FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT|
|AIMED BLOW 12 STRIKING ATTACK 62 - 33 - 3 65 |
|WALL OF STEEL 4 PARRY-STRIKE 6 - 5 - 0 55 |
|STRIKING ATTACK 3 AIMED BLOW 105 - 107 - 4 50 |
|LUNGING ATTACK 3 WALL OF STEEL 18 - 19 - 4 49 |
|SLASHING ATTACK 2 PARRY-LUNGE 8 - 9 - 0 47 |
|BASHING ATTACK 1 SLASHING ATTACK 20 - 23 - 0 47 |
|TOTAL PARRY 1 LUNGING ATTACK 45 - 53 - 1 46 |
|PARRY-LUNGE 0 TOTAL PARRY 31 - 48 - 1 39 |
|PARRY-STRIKE 0 BASHING ATTACK 8 - 21 - 0 28 |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE 0 PARRY-RIPOSTE 3 - 9 - 0 25 |
Turn 252 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are:
BASHING ATTACK 1 - 0 STRIKING ATTACK 1 - 2 3 STRIKING ATTACK
TOTAL PARRY 1 - 0 PARRY-LUNGE 0 - 0 3 AIMED BLOW
AIMED BLOW 8 - 4 PARRY-STRIKE 0 - 0 3 LUNGING ATTACK
WALL OF STEEL 2 - 2 PARRY-RIPOSTE 0 - 0 1 WALL OF STEEL
LUNGING ATTACK 0 - 3 1 SLASHING ATTACK
SLASHING ATTACK 0 - 2
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE
FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME
LUNGING ATTACK JASMINE SAGE 9903 7 6 0 90 071709AK (1799)
AIMED BLOW POW -16323 12 7 1 88 THE IN SOUND (8450)
TOTAL PARRY QUAGMIRE 6998 9 4 0 83 Q-SCHOOL (1323)
BASHING ATTACK TURN TO SLAG -8366 7 2 0 57 FEAR FACTORY 19 (8241)
SLASHING ATTACK BLUE ICE -25898 4 2 1 41 OTTODROME 123 (6912)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.
The overall popularity leader is BLOODBATH & BEYOND -16298. The most popular warrior
this turn was FIREWING PHOENIX -8372. The ten other most popular fighters were
JASMINE SAGE 9903, PRIMARY 27109, BORSCHT 20918, KING OF FOOLS -14770, BLOODBATH &
BEYOND -16298, FUGUE STATE -16313, TURN TO SLAG -8366, SHAWNA -9012, IDLE IVAN -9861,
and LAKE OF FIRE -8131.
The least popular fighter this week was QUAGMIRE 6998. The other ten least popular
fighters were CARD SHARK -25092, COME AS YOU ARE -8128, BERRIES -8418, BLUE ICE
-25898, JAGSTANG -8319, SILKY SWEET -9860, WALL OF FIRE -8373, ABOUT A GIRL -8132,
STEAMY -25112, and BLOOD RECKONING -8356.
The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn:
PRIMERIDIAN (84--20653) THE MOTHERSHIP AG
Mission to the Twisted Lands
Episode One
Old Brown could run pretty fast if properly motivated, but mostly he walked with
a long-legged, distance-devouring stride. He was a huge horse, a half-giant's
warhorse, shaggy and self-assured, with muscles like half-buried boulders in his
shoulders and hips. Lounging in the saddle was the motivating force, the half-giant,
Keel Woodhaven. Although in his mind he was slouching and half-asleep, he sat up
straight in the saddle since that is more comfortable for riding.
It was twilight, stars coming out above and lights in farmhouse windows below.
They traveled through vineyards, brown and fallow now in the winter, descending gently
toward the tree-crowded coast. The distant trees, not just pines, were green. They
stayed green because the marsh that surrounded the city-state of Bonsur had hot
springs in it.
Keel Woodhaven had always liked Bonsur. It had a relaxed feel about it, the
women seemed prettier, the music was great, everyone thought about having fun. And
the booze was excellent, of course. He passed the arena at the edge of town, and
paused to read the current statistics, posted on the gate and lit by a lantern. So,
an elven cobbler was the Duelmaster? Why would a shoemaker take up such a painful
profession? Then he noticed the team name: Shewish Picnic. He snorted. That
explained it, all right. As a half-Shew, he was kind of bothered by that team theme,
which was present in Home Guard as well. It was sort of funny though. He saw that
Elf Cobbler was headed for the Isle. Probably not bound for Home Guard just yet,
though.
They passed a small chicken ranch. A rooster uttered an untimely crow. At about
that time, Old Brown took exception to something and bolted. Cussing, Keel hauled on
the reins, to little effect since the horse was stronger than him and apparently
frightened. He didn't see the masked men coming out of their hiding places behind
him, looking frustrated. At least not until a crossbow bolt thunked into the backside
of his leather cuirass. His horse screamed and ran faster.
Hauling Old Brown to the left as they passed a set of big open gates into a well-
lighted courtyard, Keel got them behind the shelter of the high stone wall, and patted
the horse's sweaty neck. "You're okay now, friend. I'll go take care of those
bozos."
As he dismounted, he noticed he was becoming surrounded by uniformed men, some
with swords and some with halberds.
"Howdy?" he said, hoping they were friendly.
"Your horse has been shot," said someone, pointing at a bolt sticking out of Old
Brown's butt.
"Well damn!" Keel laid a comforting hand on the horse's flank, which quivered.
"So have you," the guard continued.
"Yeah, thought so. Doesn't feel like it got through the armor though." Keel
tried to look over his shoulder, but could only see the feathered end of the bolt.
"Who are you guys?"
"We are the Queen's Guard."
"What? Queen Gemra? Okay, please take care of Old Brown here, and I'll go find
the ***holes that shot him."
"Sir, you are mistaken. You will be taken to a doctor. We will arrest the
assailants."
"Hey! I'm on a mission from Sheila Greywand. Anyway, they shot my horse. My
HORSE! I'm gonna get 'em." Unslinging his huge sword, Keel strode toward the gate.
Four Guardsmen came with him, flanking him like the trailing ends of a flock of
geese. They might have intended a different formation, but he had the longest legs
and walked the fastest. The one who'd spoken to him before said, "I'm Corporal Brat
Langerman. And you are?"
"Keel Woodhaven."
"I've heard of you! The Queen will want to meet you."
"That's fine. Let's stick to the sides of these buildings. If they're still
around, we'll be targets in the middle of the street."
They weren't quiet, exactly, since the guards wore highly polished chain mail
which jingled. However, Bonsur had a lively night life. Music and laughter came from
bars and nightclubs on adjacent streets, people lingered on corners chatting and
sometimes playing instruments, and children hawked newssheets, shoeshines, flowers, a
selection of rouges, and offered to carry packages. So the sounds the guards made
weren't too noticeable.
Keel led the way back to the chicken ranch. He was thinking that the bad guys
wouldn't have waited around to be hunted. They might have left clues, though.
Perhaps even a discarded, crumpled note offering a cash reward for his head, and
signed by a notorious crimelord. Or distinctive cigar stubs, monogrammed hankies...
personalized masks. Tracks of boots made by elven cobblers. Anything. Witnesses,
even.
There were no people on the street near the chicken ranch. It was full night
now, a bit chilly although there was a warm and slightly funky breeze from the marsh.
Corporal Brat Langerman said quietly, "Is this where it happened?"
"Yup."
"Well, I don't think they're here anymore."
Keel was about to agree, when a crossbow bolt appeared in the Corporal's arm.
The young man hissed, "Everybody down!"
The guardsmen hunkered against the wall of a hardware store, which didn't offer
anything resembling good cover except that they were in shadow there. Keel crouched a
little, but he knew he was a pretty big target, plus his sword gave off a faint
greenish glow. He looked around, searching the darkness for signs of their foes.
A shadow on top of a shaded walkway across the street shifted a little. Keel
pulled a weighted dart out of his pocket and hurled it. He was good at tavern darts,
but it was dark, the distance was too great, and he just wasn't lucky. The little
missile clattered against the shingles of the porch roof. There was a startled twitch
from the half-seen form. At that instant, Keel lunged across the street. His long
legs carried him across to the opposite shadows in three bounds. More bolts came out
of the darkness, one lodging in his calf, the others missing him altogether.
Now the Guardsmen had a good idea where their foes were, and it takes a while to
reload a crossbow. The four men charged, yelling wildly. Tucking his sword under his
arm, Keel grabbed one of the posts holding up the porch roof, strained, and dislodged
it. After a moment he yanked it out of the structure entirely. The roof sagged,
there was a yelp of surprise, and someone's foot appeared off the edge of it. Keel
grabbed him by the ankle and hauled him the rest of the way down.
There were brief sounds of fighting, then footsteps that rapidly receded down an
alley. Three Guardsmen raced off in pursuit. Keel's prisoner started to try to get
away, so the half-Shew tossed him up, grabbed him by the arms and bashed him against
the wall.
"Are you okay?" asked Brat, sheathing his sword.
"Took one in the leg, but it's not too bad I think," Keel said, shifting his
unconscious prisoner to one hand and bending to pick up his sword.
"I'll help you tie that one up," Brat said. "There's a dead one here. I think
there were two more." He grunted slightly, trying to reach something with his injured
arm. "Got some ties in my right-hand belt pouch. If you could get them for me?"
They bound the prisoner, then bandaged each other.
"What did they want?" asked the Corporal.
Keel shrugged. "No clue. Let's get him somewhere safe and we can ask him..."
He listened. "Your guys are coming back."
"Yeah."
The Guardsmen hadn't been able to track their assailants in the darkness, but at
least there were no further injuries. The group of them returned warily to the
courtyard of the Guard House, where a woman was smearing some kind of ointment on Old
Brown's wound. After the horse was bedded down in the stable, the Guardsmen led Keel
into their office, where there was a welcome scent of fresh coffee. The medic set
about binding Keel's wound and that of the Corporal, who turned out to be an extremely
handsome man. Keel remembered hearing that Queen Gemra required her Guardsmen to be
good looking. That didn't mean they weren't competent, though. Brat had done pretty
well.
The medic roused their prisoner with smelling salts. They all sat in the main
office, Corporal Langerman facing the miscreant, who was seated in a cushioned chair,
looking reasonably comfortable except for his bandaged head. "All right," said Brat.
"Now I want you to tell me that you're going to turn Queen's Evidence."
"Not on your life, pretty boy!" The man had, perhaps, some excuse for hard
feelings since he was more homely than not, with a crooked nose and eyes set too close
together. He and Keel looked shabby and ill-favored amongst all these gleamingly
handsome Guardsmen.
Keel leaned forward. "You guys shot my horse."
"Oh. Sorry, didn't mean to do that. We were just shooting at you."
"Why?"
"Glowing sword."
"What?"
"Duh, it's a magic sword! We saw it when you drew it in Delarq Tor, and figured
we could sell it so we followed you."
The half-Shew snorted. "The Dentless isn't magic. It was in a Chaos Gate for
five hundred years and it picked up some energy, that's all. All it does, is glow.
And cut things."
The bandit looked chagrined. "But... it's got to be magic."
"Ain't. Sorry kid."
After that, Keel was taken to enjoy a sumptuous dinner at the Palace. Queen
Gemra was a definite babe, with long, silken black hair, a delicate pouty face, and
luscious curves. She asked him about his mission, which was to go to the Twisted
Lands and shut down a leaking Chaos Gate. He entertained her with the story of his
adventure on the Two-Shew Express, and she gave him a brown velvet cloak to show her
appreciation. She did not invite him to her bed, which was fine because his heart
belonged to another, always and forever.
* * * * *
This is a continuing adventure.
Watch for future chapters in the Bonsur and Home Guard newsletters!