ADVANCED DUELMASTERS

Date   : 03/02/2004    Duedate: 03/15/2004

TALAHYA

DM-100    TURN-458

RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %  RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %
  1 PIMPS 9/4318           16    6  0 72.7   14 THE NUKES 3/1445      265  223  1 54.3
    ECHL-SOUTH 82/4321                          OUT OF FAEYRIE 4/1430                 
    ITALIAN LOVERS 1/4309                       FRUIT PUPPETS 37/2520                 
    NATURE'S FORCE 82/4841                   15 CAMERON CRAZI 9/3908  208  177  0 54.0
  2 WENSINWASIN 15/4772     5    2  0 71.4      FLOYD'S PINK BRO' 96/4622             
    WENSINWASIN L.K. 10/4771                    CALL THE PRIEST 32/4839               
  3 POWERPUFF GI 12/4515    6    3  0 66.7      ALL-TIME GREATS 16/4488               
  4-VIEW ASKEW 11/4832      2    1  0 66.7   16 SACRILEGIOUS 15/4838  109   93  2 54.0
  5 SWEORDMASTERS 1/4796   20   11  1 64.5   17 THE DEMOCRAT 22/4680   27   23  1 54.0
    FIGHTING MEN OF MARS 26/4709                CARNAGE CANARIES 21/4734              
    LAB EXPERIMENTS 1/4797                   18-SAILS OF CHA 16/4834  870  776  9 52.9
  6 FARSCAPE 10/4155       24   15  0 61.5   19 VERMIN!! 82/4315      898  811 10 52.5
    GUARDIANS 43/4082                           SIR AGLIO 10/2079                     
  7 BABES 36/3876        2472 1581 44 61.0      TRIPLE CROWN 15/3914                  
    LETTER BOMBS 9/4530                         TOO GOOD FOR ME 65/4016               
    BOY O'S 51/4027                          20-LOBOTOMATION 12/4403  252  228  1 52.5
    HEROES 77/3408                              MORBID FASCINATION 6/973              
    THE BEARS 35/2674                           HELPLESS ANIMALS 16/54                
    THE HURT 36/1309                            ANIMAL PHARM 18/4526                  
    THE BEARS 48/677                         21 SPECIAL ED 17/4525    198  179  1 52.5
    THE BEARS 42/768                            SPECIAL ED 23/2722                    
    NASTY MOB 21/4730                           KINDRED OF KAOS 17/2471               
    DEATH THREAT 29/4804                        DUELMASTERS NICKNAME 96/4824          
  8 FOOD FIGHT 33/3860     75   49  0 60.5   22-BOXES 60/4147        1457 1362 18 51.7
  9 KA-POW! 15/3970      1120  768 13 59.3      2 ALL BEEF BUNNIES II 82/4647         
    BARNYARD BRUTES 36/4238                     THUNDR + LITENING 18/483              
 10-NIGHTMARES 99/4725    295  206  6 58.9      DARK PANTHEON 6/2442                  
    EAGLES CLAW 38/1613                         THE LAST STRAW V 71/4420              
    PANSY DIVISION 51/3406                      NO MORE TEARS 82/4773                 
    SCRAGITARIOUS 21/3327                       ODD SQUAD 69/4769                     
    CLUB CULTURE 60/4637                     23-ARENA FELINE 12/4494  127  119  0 51.6
 11 KANSAS 70/4612       1486 1095 14 57.6   24 CARTOUCHE 51/3495     310  292  8 51.5
    BOOK OF SWORDS 65/4305                      FORCE OF NATURE 75/3331               
    STOOPID MOVIES 82/4759                      ALL THAT SLITHERS 65/4583             
    HOWIE'S DARK PAST 96/4633                   EDGE OF EXTINCTION 71/4452            
 12 SURPRISE! 63/4736     902  699 13 56.3   25-ROCK-ETTS II 78/4814  188  178  2 51.4
    FOREIGN FOODS 82/4169                    26 SUPERIOR FOR 75/2152  571  563  7 50.4
    MAIN COURSE 82/4440                         SUPERIOR FORCES 1F 33/3757            
    RUSTY NAILS 82/4363                         SUPERIOR FORCES 6N 18/4411            
    I TRAINED THEM 30/3047                      SUPERIOR FORCES 6D 82/4619            
    GLADIATION FOLLY 22/4345                    SUPERIOR FORCES 7Q 82/4402            
    PRECIOUS LADIES 32/2987                     SUPERIOR FORCES IJ 65/4610            
    NATURAL DISASTERS 60/1822                   SUPERIOR FORCES IQ 62/4145            
    LOST SOULS II 4/2818                        SUPERIOR FORCES 5R 29/4536            
    MY THIRD PARENT 82/4654                     SUPERIOR FORCES X 29/3571             
    WORKING MEN 63/4752                      27 ENIGMA 62/4768        132  130  1 50.4
    OUT OF THE HILLS 18/2808                    ALCHEMY 18/4818                       
    LOST SOULS II 9/2309                        TECHNOLOGY 5/1778                     
    GET SMART 27/4066                           82ND ILLINOIS 17/4384                 
    CARE PACKAGE 56/4442                        JUNKYARD WARS 98/4500                 
 13 I AM SUCK 82/4760     305  242  5 55.8   28 BOOGIE NIGHT 43/2800  698  692  6 50.2
    ENVENOMED 82/4693                           DARK CIRCLE TOYS 69/3608              
    WICKED MARTYRS 7/3170                       WISH YOU WERE BEER 12/4433            
    ROGUE WARRIOR 97/4632                    29-LUST MUPPETS 32/4248   93   93  1 50.0

RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %  RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %
    MY WIFE'S COSMETICS 82/4246                 ANARCHIST COOKBOOK 2 82/4652          
    WHY I PLAY DM 82/4616                       LEGENDS OF TKE 62/4197                
    4-LETTER ANXIETY 82/4831                    ANARCHIST COOKBOOK 2 70/3555          
    WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY 82/4833                OUR HIGHEST HONOR 3/4624              
 30 THE WILLBURYS 6/4327  137  139  0 49.6      FRAT PARTY BLOWOUT 3/2300             
    THE WILLBURYS 13 13/3990                    MAMMAL MILITIA 82/4756                
 31 LEGALESE 75/4658      142  159  3 47.2      WILD KINGDOM 35/4193                  
    THE REPUBLICANS 22/114                      REPTILIAN REBELS 70/3927              
    GUNFIGHTERS 7/4595                       44 KREWE OF DRUI 6/4679   27   42  1 39.1
 32 THE BLACK COM 1/4837   79   89  0 47.0   45-DRUNKEN TOAD 19/4587   10   18  1 35.7
    FIRESIGN THEATRE 48/2803                 46 MEN 29/4412           580 1065 11 35.3
 33 ON THE PILL 53/4829   277  322  6 46.2      JOHNS 5/3510                          
    COLOR ME SUAVE 42/4426                      HABIT 78/4547                         
    CENTER FOR OLDS 18/4052                     TALES 43/2584                         
 34 GIFTED 69/3978        753  895  8 45.7      STORIES 49/2835                       
    BLOOD MOON 69/3649                          MORGAN'S BOYS 7/2702                  
    YO YO TRICKS 69/4107                        WHY KNOT 63/2669                      
    CLAN BLACKHAND 82/4503                      MIKES 14/3982                         
    KREL DOMINATION 69/3974                     JUST BECAUSE 38/4701                  
    TRIBAL COUNCIL 4/477                     47 BUMS 'R' US 60/4507    21   39  0 35.0
 35 GENOCIDE 51/4423       30   36  1 45.5      JOYS OF BOOZE 33/4683                 
    THE WARRIORS 10/438                      48 MAD SCIENTIST 18/392  725 1435  3 33.6
 36 COMIC BOOK H 62/4645  684  828  8 45.2      THE BLACK PHALANX 12/4476             
 37 LIQUOR CABINE 7/4518  215  261  2 45.2      THE BLACK ELITE 82/3857               
    ESTIMATED PROPHETS 12/4516                  BLACK ODYSSEY 42/3142                 
    SPARE-A-DIME SHIFT 7/4710                   CARE LESS BEARS 1/1077                
 38 LA PENTARCHIE 8/4427  121  151  0 44.5   49-THE MC5 24/4699         3    6  0 33.3
    THE PENTARCHY 28/4604                    50 THE EXPLORER 59/2235   18   37  0 32.7
    PENTARCHIE-18 18/4391                       PIG BATTALION 33/4717                 
    THE PENTARCHY 34/4406                    51 SAND DANCERS 75/2258  419  913  4 31.5
 39 BLADE ZEN 74/4492      45   58  0 43.7      DARK HORSEMEN 51/4217                 
    FIST OF FIVE 41/3875                        FAVORITE GUYS 61/4069                 
    DEATH ON A STIK 4/4706                      GAMES LIBRARY 3/3481                  
    GRIM FANDANGO 21/4581                       HOMICIDAL MANIACS 1/3767              
 40 CASTAWAYS 7/1083      245  317  1 43.6      CARDOW HUNTERS 13/3697                
 41 BIRDS 41/4735         146  193  1 43.1   52 TRANSVESTITES 3/4336   50  111  0 31.1
    THE OFFENDERS 17/1987                    53-SOLARAN BERSE 40/698    4    9  0 30.8
    RESCUE 77/3887                           54 FLAT BROKE 82/4842      3    7  0 30.0
    ERRATA 25/3564                              SANDS OF TIME 38/4666                 
    TRIAL & ERROR 21/4704                    55-TRANSGRESSOR 21/4835    2    8  0 20.0
    EL EQUIDO 13/3225                        56-FERROUS MEN 35/723      0    4  0  0.0
 42-CONSPIRACY IN 22/706   46   61  0 43.0   57 BLACKHEART'S 16/4844    1    0  0  100
 43 I GOTTA GO 30/4646    513  749  5 40.6   58 T.P.S 27/2834           0    1  0  0.0

    '##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id     '-'  Team did not fight this turn

                                 THE GUARDIAN'S FORUM
                         Reflections by the Chief Tower Guard

Greetings all, it is I, Leitzith, truly now can I call myself one of the all-time
greats!!  Few make it to the status I now claim--the Tower Guardian of Talahya.  Long
have I dreamed of this day and now that it is upon me, I feel no accomplishment.  You
say that my recent runner-up status in the ADM tournament, surely that gives me
enjoyment, right?  Again, the feat rings hollow against the bell of truth, for I know
that my career is winding down.  There will be some day out there, where I will
behold my last sunset after fighting that day.  My accomplishments have been great,
and I can only hope I will look back many years from now and remember how blessed I
truly am to have had such a celebrated end to my fighting days.  But then, one of my
many downfalls is greed, and I tend to always want so much more....

The team name that Noble gave us was All-Time Greats.  All warriors would be named
after role-playing characters, or entities from other games.  I was named after
Noble's first campaign character in a D&D campaign (which as Noble tells it is now 20
years past).  He was a character who achieved great things, and was well renowned for
his ferocity, as well as his generosity.  The Bismarck, the other warrior from our
stable currently active on the Isle, is named after a Federation cruiser in Star
Fleet Battles.  Though he is a softie, he's not the "cream puff" you all thought.
Willaf was a fun arena to have made our home.  We had originated as a tourney team,
and Teressian (he was also named after a D&D character) and I fought well enough
during the tourney to be picked up as a tourney team for Noble.  Our career in Willaf
was less than stellar, and Teressian eventually was slain, Biz and I moved on, and
the team fell into disarray.  As typical, Noble abandoned it and moved to greener
pastures, but he is a businessman after all--who could blame him?

How did an unknown achieve runner-up in the tourney you ask?  Well, the 21 will
helped, as did the few trains I got before the tourney and the 10 during it didn't
hurt either.  It was a dynamite run, and I was feeling good about myself, but 2 of
three losses came against the eventual winner of the thing--so I can't feel too bad.
So I sit on the throne after beating Marco last turn and knock him down a peg or two
or three.  I'm guessing he'll be back real soon though, so in the interim I won't
avoid anyone, here's your chance to experience what I'm currently feeling.  I have to
look through that though when making my actual TV challenge, and regular challenge.
I can't be brash and just going challenging any top-ranked aimed blow like Galen
thinks I should.  I will TV Bed-Wetting Freak this turn, to give Pip's guy a shot at
the throne.  Managers like it when their guy is on top and getting all the press.
Pip's been a good friend to the squad over the last few years and is always there for
us.  I now consider my debt paid to you Pip, you promised you'd tear up those
pictures now....

Leitzith

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

Ladies and Gentlemen,

     Well well, we doubled our number of TV challenges this cycle!  There were two.
I still think that's a bit strange considering the size of this arena.
     STONE KILLER (21-5245) (29-9-1,199) of NASTY MOB TV challenged THE ETERNAL
PLEDGE (62-2931) (34-26-0,210) of LEGENDS OF TKE.  STONE KILLER was devastated by THE
ETERNAL PLEDGE in a 1 minute Challenge fight.  Embarrassing to lose on a TV
challenge, eh Stoney?
     MARCO (51-5008) (39-16-2,199) of BOY O'S TV challenged SERVLET SALLY (82-5895)
(33-17-0,266) of SUPERIOR FORCES 7Q.  Our former Tower Guardian demolished SERVLET
SALLY in a popular 1 minute one-sided Challenge melee.
     As for last cycle's Tower Guardian, she lost the title before she really got a
chance to settle in.  Better luck, Leitzith.  Try again.  I'm not sure whether you
wrote a column or not; I didn't receive one, but there was mention of one.  If you
did, thank you.  THE EXPLOITER (22-1226) (52-34-1,258) of THE REPUBLICANS challenged 
LEITZITH (16-4444) (27-23-0,238) of ALL-TIME GREATS.  Leitzith, by the was, was our
most challenged warrior.  THE EXPLOITER overpowered LEITZITH in a 2 minute mismatched
Challenge Title match.  And to The Exploiter, congratulations on getting your
challenge through as well as winning, and I'm sure we are all looking forward to
reading your column.
     We were unfortunate enough to have two deaths this cycle, temporary though they
are.  VICTORY (75-757) (16-11-1,162) of SUPERIOR FORCES fought SUDSY DEODORANT (42-
3930) (24-24-3,160) of COLOR ME SUAVE.  VICTORY murdered SUDSY DEODORANT in a 1
minute one-sided duel.  Sudsy died on the stretcher and then came back with a scream
on Greywand's resurrection slab.  And then, DROOLING GOOBER (23-3467) (46-35-0,225)
of SPECIAL ED fought UNBRIDLED (15-3923) (43-27-1,226) of TRIPLE CROWN.  DROOLING
GOOBER slew UNBRIDLED in an exciting 1 minute struggle.  Poor Unbridled had to be
stitched together before being raised.  Each victim will receive a wreath of
evergreen boughs and a fruit basket, along with my heartfelt sympathy.
     There was a victory worth mentioning today.  GLORY (1-6847) (41-38-0,184) of
HOMICIDAL MANIACS fought WIMPY WIND (28-3517) (25-24-1,187) of THE PENTARCHY.  GLORY
handily defeated WIMPY WIND in an exciting 1 minute bloody mismatched contest.  It
was a good fight, but I bring it to your attention as this cycle's only victory
scored by Sand Dancers et al.  They're a doughty guild who contribute much to Talahya
arena and I think we should all cheer them on.  Well fought, Glory!
     Center for Olds (currently 33rd in the guild rankings and including the teams
Color Me Suave and On the Pill) was most avoided by Letter Bombs (currently 7th in
the rankings and including the teams Babes, Boy O's, Heroes, The Bears, Nasty Mob,
and Death Threat).  I note that Papa Bear, manager of The Bears et al, is well known
for using all the tools at his command in order to maximize the success of his
warriors.  It is not surprising for him to use his avoids when many do not.
     There are several warriors ranked higher in recognition than our Tower Guardian.
I will mention only the top two as I would be most interested in seeing either of
them challenge for the title:
     BOOZEHOUND (7-871) (32-24-0,434) of LIQUOR CABINET II fought FILLETED (36-2659)
(36-32-3,194) of THE HURT.  BOOZEHOUND subdued FILLETED in an exciting 2 minute
struggle.  Boozehound's style is evident from other information in the newsletter but
I will not mention it in case some are too lazy to look.  His current recognition
rating is 442; that of the Tower Guardian is just 273.
     BLACK CYCLOPS (42-3344) (37-53-2,187) of BLACK ODYSSEY challenged BELIAL (7-
3838) (100-69-2,352) of WICKED MARTYRS.  BLACK CYCLOPS was handily defeated by BELIAL
in a 1 minute Challenge contest.  Belial is well known as our top aimed blow
practitioner, a quiet fellow but very dangerous.  He has been in range of the title
for quite some time, usually right up at the top, but I have never known a Tower
Guardian to challenge him.  He is, I think, feared.  I congratulate Black Cyclops for
his courage in challenging Belial, whose current recognition rating is 362.
     In addition to Boozehound and Belial, other warriors ranked higher than the
Tower Guardian are The Reaper, Drooling Goober, and Alvorando (our top-ranked Wall of
Steel).  Exploiter, I think you have something yet to prove.
     As usual, the best-loved warrior in the arena is Ho-Chan the Axe.  How did he do
this cycle?  COMFORTABLY NUMB (96-855) (24-10-5,182) of FLOYD'S PINK BRO' challenged
HO-CHAN THE AXE (75-670) (104-144-2,193) of SAND DANCERS.   COMFORTABLY NUMB overcame
HO-CHAN THE AXE in an action packed 5 minute Challenge fight.  It was a sensationally
good fight filled with leaps, twists, and reversals of fortune.  Well done, CN, and
very well done, Ho-Chan.
     One of our longer fights was won by Gordon, who also won this cycle's "scum
sympathy" vote.  GORDON (36-4536) (48-18-1,232) of BARNYARD BRUTES fought SIR VIVOR
(10-4065) (74-39-0,206) of SIR AGLIO.  GORDON viciously subdued SIR VIVOR in a crowd
pleasing 12 minute brutal bout.  It was actually a pretty good fight as well as being
this cycle's longest by at least 3 minutes.
     Voted least popular was Jones, on the basis of this fight:  NEPHRON (30-4147)
(24-26-1,82) of I GOTTA GO fought JONES (14-1283) (20-108-4,55) of MIKES.  NEPHRON
overpowered JONES in a 1 minute one-sided bout.  Jones is now ranked 52 and since it
appears from his record that he is not here for any of the usual reasons, let's just
give him a pat on the back and a smile.
     Our lowest-ranked warrior this time around is Catherwood, once again.  IN THE
PIG! (96-864) (18-13-5,71) of HOWIE'S DARK PAST fought CATHERWOOD (48-2225) (17-17-
1,21) of FIRESIGN THEATRE.  IN THE PIG! savagely defeated CATHERWOOD in a crowd
pleasing 3 minute competition.  Catherwood, you came to us with a winning record and
I hope it is not beyond recall by the time you get your "Isle legs."  Hang in there.
Use your challenges and avoids.  Remember that those you fight may have many more
tournament fights than yourself which do not show on their records, so don't get
discouraged if you happen to lose.
     That's all for this cycle.  May you all stay warm and well for the next
fortnight.

                                             Galen

THE TOWER GUARDIAN            W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 THE EXPLOITER 22-1226       53  34  1  273  THE REPUBLICANS (114)      SOLVEN

GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 BOOZEHOUND 7-871            33  24  0  442  LIQUOR CABINET II (4518)   BONSUR
 BELIAL 7-3838              101  69  2  362  WICKED MARTYRS (3170)      BONSUR
 THE REAPER 69-8774          64  33  0  319  BLOOD MOON (3649)          CIMMERIAC
 DROOLING GOOBER 23-3467     47  35  1  292  SPECIAL ED (2722)          TI
 ALVORANDO 82-3664           27   8  0  276  THE BLACK ELITE (3857)     DWES EG
-BED-WETTING FREAK 17-6162   38  13  0  265  SPECIAL ED (4525)          ALJAFIR
 GORDON 36-4536              49  18  1  258  BARNYARD BRUTES (4238)     JHANS
 LINDA LOVELACE 43-3149      44  18  1  245  BOOGIE NIGHTS (2800)       VEASTIAN
 FRERE MAIN ROUJ 8-4082      47  24  0  234  LA PENTARCHIE (4427)       ARKERS
 PAPAYA BALROG 37-3035       82  52  0  233  FRUIT PUPPETS (2520)       SIBIKHAS
 GLACIER 75-2046             66  41  3  233  FORCE OF NATURE (3331)     JADE MOUNTAIN
 MAELSTROM 75-2202           49  26  1  232  FORCE OF NATURE (3331)     JADE MOUNTAIN
 THE ETERNAL PLEDGE 62-2931  35  26  0  231  LEGENDS OF TKE (4197)      VALAMANTIS
 GUAVA NICE DAY 37-3254      52  48  0  226  FRUIT PUPPETS (2520)       SIBIKHAS
 JOHN HOLMES 69-7255         55  33  1  223  GIFTED (3978)              CIMMERIAC
 ROAD TO DAKAR 15-3978       46  26  2  223  KA-POW! (3970)             MALCORN
 MAGMA 75-2049               64  46  0  222  FORCE OF NATURE (3331)     JADE MOUNTAIN
 THE BEAST 3-5547            51  64  0  222  FRAT PARTY BLOWOUT (2300)  OSKSI
 LADY LUCK 18-2925           39  37  1  221  CENTER FOR OLDS (4052)     TALCAMA
 KHIRZA 7-1862              111 131  3  220  CASTAWAYS (1083)           BONSUR
 MARCO 51-5008               40  16  2  219  BOY O'S (4027)             TRICORUS
 AFGHAN REBEL 22-1636        49  31  4  218  THE REPUBLICANS (114)      SOLVEN
 PEEG 43-2613               129 124  3  215  TALES (2584)               VEASTIAN
 CHOKING CHICKEN 69-8734     48  29  2  215  YO YO TRICKS (4107)        CIMMERIAC
 ANKLEBITER 22-1163          48  43  3  214  THE REPUBLICANS (114)      SOLVEN
-BEAUTIFUL THING 51-3874     43  39  1  213  PANSY DIVISION (3406)      TRICORUS
 SENGIR VAMPIRE 15-2872      39  30  1  211  WENSINWASIN (4772)         MALCORN
 THE BISMARCK 16-4481        36  19  1  211  ALL-TIME GREATS (4488)     WILLAF

GRAND CHAMPIONS               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 WOBBLENUT 18-6650           64  51  0  210  CENTER FOR OLDS (4052)     TALCAMA
 JIMBY 42-3777               43  36  1  210  COLOR ME SUAVE (4426)      RODEKI
 CARTHORIS JEDDAK 26-2376    49  29  1  209  FIGHTING MEN OF MARS (4709 CALEAM
 COM DOT 65-6217             43  26  0  208  TOO GOOD FOR ME (4016)     DAL SHANG
 TSUNAMI 75-2214             27   6  2  208  FORCE OF NATURE (3331)     JADE MOUNTAIN
 SONORA MOUNTAIN 65-5873     22  13  1  207  ALL THAT SLITHERS (4583)   DAL SHANG
 SIR VIVOR 10-4065           74  40  0  204  SIR AGLIO (2079)           KOLACT
 AFROSLEAZIAC 18-6941        51  38  7  204  CENTER FOR OLDS (4052)     TALCAMA
 TONGUE-FLAPPIN' TA 23-3505  50  31  0  204  SPECIAL ED (2722)          TI
-METEOR SHOWER 60-4563       33  18  0  204  NATURAL DISASTERS (1822)   ARADI
 COUCH POTATO 3-2985         65  43  1  203  FRAT PARTY BLOWOUT (2300)  OSKSI
 SORROW 1-2863               38  25  2  203  SWEORDMASTERS (4796)       MORDANT
 MEADOW VOLE 35-2944         46  46  2  202  WILD KINGDOM (4193)        MURSKA
 JUST A JOB TO DO 18-6575    65  55  1  201  CENTER FOR OLDS (4052)     TALCAMA
 D. FILER 9-4721             40  10  1  201  LETTER BOMBS (4530)        ZUKAL
 VICTORY 75-757              17  11  2  201  SUPERIOR FORCES (2152)     JADE MOUNTAIN
 FOXY LADY 18-2695           47  40  0  199  CENTER FOR OLDS (4052)     TALCAMA
-CARE-LESS 56-3356           41  13  0  199  CARE PACKAGE (4442)        ROCANIS
 MARCINKO 97-961             20  18  5  199  ROGUE WARRIOR (4632)       SHADOW GROVE
 EARTHQUAKE 75-1663          84  57  2  198  FORCE OF NATURE (3331)     JADE MOUNTAIN
 KATE BUSH 18-1413           68  52  0  198  CENTER FOR OLDS (4052)     TALCAMA
 UNBRIDLED 15-3923           43  28  1  198  TRIPLE CROWN (3914)        MALCORN
 GLORY 1-6847                42  38  0  198  HOMICIDAL MANIACS (3767)   MORDANT
 SNIPE HUNTER 4-3708         36  40  2  198  OUT OF FAEYRIE (1430)      JHELUM
-PRORIARITY 21-4159          45  33  3  197  SCRAGITARIOUS (3327)       SUNSET
 ONE NIGHT STAND 18-829      69  65  6  196  CENTER FOR OLDS (4052)     TALCAMA
 THE HAPPY HOOKER 18-2042    43  47  0  196  CENTER FOR OLDS (4052)     TALCAMA
 FILLETED 36-2659            36  33  3  196  THE HURT (1309)            JHANS
 LEITZITH 16-4444            27  24  0  196  ALL-TIME GREATS (4488)     WILLAF

GRAND CHAMPIONS               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 NEVERMORE 1-5260            26  24  2  196  LAB EXPERIMENTS (4797)     MORDANT
 COMFORTABLY NUMB 96-855     25  10  5  196  FLOYD'S PINK BRO' (4622)   OLD VALAMANTIS
 PIPPI NOSTOCKING 18-1484    49  55  0  195  CENTER FOR OLDS (4052)     TALCAMA
 GOTTM BEERBALLS 7-864       36  27  6  195  LIQUOR CABINET II (4518)   BONSUR
 SERVLET SALLY 82-5895       33  18  0  195  SUPERIOR FORCES 7Q (4402)  DWES EG
-UNDERGROUND EDDIE 70-5974   67  48  0  194  ANARCHIST COOKBOOK 2 (3555 SENTERN
 HATSHEPSUT 51-4157          53  70  1  193  CARTOUCHE (3495)           TRICORUS
 DALI PARTON 18-3274         41  40  3  193  CENTER FOR OLDS (4052)     TALCAMA
-IN YOU AGAIN 12-4740        39  30  1  193  LOBOTOMATION (4403)        RIZTAB
 VORTEX 75-1870              67  69  0  192  FORCE OF NATURE (3331)     JADE MOUNTAIN
 PISTOL 65-6205              47  35  1  192  TOO GOOD FOR ME (4016)     DAL SHANG
 THE BIG 'E' 9-4474          42  34  0  192  CAMERON CRAZIES (3908)     ZUKAL
 BAL BURG D'ALGURD 18-6849   40  54  0  192  PENTARCHIE-18 (4391)       TALCAMA
 POPE 5-4090                 46  52  2  191  JOHNS (3510)               KALTOS
 SIR CUITOUS 10-4514         42  28  0  191  SIR AGLIO (2079)           KOLACT
 STONE KILLER 21-5245        29  10  1  191  NASTY MOB (4730)           SUNSET
-D'WEASEL ZAPPA 16-4457      24  21  0  191  HELPLESS ANIMALS (54)      WILLAF
-SOUND ADVICE 38-3251        59  48  4  190  EAGLES CLAW (1613)         CLIFFHOME
 SPOTTED PONY 4-3975         41  41  0  190  TRIBAL COUNCIL (477)       JHELUM
 HO-CHAN THE AXE 75-670     104 145  2  189  SAND DANCERS (2258)        JADE MOUNTAIN
 JACOB 10-233                55  68  2  189  THE WARRIORS (438)         KOLACT
 BLACK CYCLOPS 42-3344       37  54  2  189  BLACK ODYSSEY (3142)       RODEKI
 MR. WRINKLE-FREE 42-3880    36  26  4  189  COLOR ME SUAVE (4426)      RODEKI
-RONALD REAGAN 22-831        29  15  1  189  CONSPIRACY INC. (706)      SOLVEN
-PEACE 19-4280               26  25  2  185  DRUNKEN TOAD (4587)        ZUWAYZA
 SNIPER BEAR 1-4893          42  86  3  184  CARE LESS BEARS (1077)     MORDANT
 YELLOWJACKET 62-3345        34  20  1  184  COMIC BOOK HEROS (4645)    VALAMANTIS
 BAWDY BUZZ BUD 12-4856      31  28  1  184  WISH YOU WERE BEER (4433)  RIZTAB
-STRONGEST #3 40-173         47  91  1  183  SOLARAN BERSERK (698)      ZENSU
 TICKLE ME HOFFA 69-6127     36  32  1  182  DARK CIRCLE TOYS (3608)    CIMMERIAC
 VERUCA SALT 10-3033         36  25  1  182  WENSINWASIN L.K. (4771)    KOLACT
 MAGELLAN 59-126             29  30  0  182  THE EXPLORERS (2235)       ILLIS
-BLACK HOLE SCRAG 43-3220    28  17  1  181  GUARDIANS (4082)           VEASTIAN
 TAXES 22-1661               27  20  1  181  THE DEMOCRATS (4680)       SOLVEN

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-BIG STRONG MAN 18-6619      43  75 17  180  THUNDR + LITENING (483)    TALCAMA
 MATA HARI 41-3812           33  21  0  180  FIST OF FIVE (3875)        KATI-TEI
 VELVET VIXEN 9-3275         33  36  0  178  LOST SOULS II (2309)       ZUKAL
 LARCENY 75-2720             29  16  0  178  LEGALESE (4658)            JADE MOUNTAIN
 CHARLIE 61-2873             51  45  0  177  FAVORITE GUYS (4069)       JURINE
 LUGH 4-3809                 35  22  3  177  OUT OF FAEYRIE (1430)      JHELUM
 SALLY RIDE 77-2378          30  24  2  177  HEROES (3408)              MAZGOURRAH
 CARNIVOROUS CANARY 21-1509  25  10  2  177  CARNAGE CANARIES (4734)    SUNSET
 WIMPY WIND 28-3517          25  25  1  176  THE PENTARCHY (4604)       MORYA
 LOUANNSALLY 18-4564         42  43  3  175  OUT OF THE HILLS (2808)    TALCAMA
 MIGHTY MITE 82-13968        27  26  0  175  VERMIN!! (4315)            DWES EG
 EVERSTORM 69-641            46  43  2  174  KREL DOMINATION (3974)     CIMMERIAC
 CARPET BURN 3-5698          34  31  0  173  FRAT PARTY BLOWOUT (2300)  OSKSI
 CRAZED GOBLIN 82-9051       35  33  1  171  CLAN BLACKHAND (4503)      DWES EG
 DEBBIE DOES DM 18-1709      51  44  1  170  CENTER FOR OLDS (4052)     TALCAMA
 PARADISE PARROT 71-1735     32  34  0  170  EDGE OF EXTINCTION (4452)  KYR'TERR
-MR. PALLYBUDDY 53-5163      40  41  1  169  ON THE PILL (4829)         KHALHUMS
 BLOODSTONE 32-3383          38  35  1  169  PRECIOUS LADIES (2987)     ARVAT
 AUDIE MURPHY 3-6160         31  19  1  169  OUR HIGHEST HONOR (4624)   OSKSI
 PEGASUS 6-4161              24  24  1  166  KREWE OF DRUID (4679)      TRANSEL
 EASTWOOD 7-4788             33  24  1  164  GUNFIGHTERS (4595)         BONSUR
 COOKIE SNORT 42-3954        24  18  0  164  COLOR ME SUAVE (4426)      RODEKI
 VAL BEMERIKI 51-5018        43  29  3  163  GENOCIDE (4423)            TRICORUS
 ALVIN YORK 3-6156           26  23  0  162  OUR HIGHEST HONOR (4624)   OSKSI
 CEREBRAL JANITOR 18-7729    22  18  0  161  CENTER FOR OLDS (4052)     TALCAMA
 S. MARY ROSE 78-2313        34  29  1  157  HABIT (4547)               LIN TIRIAN
 LEMON DROP 33-6685          28  27  0  156  JOYS OF BOOZE (4683)       NIYTYOLE ISLAND

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 CULUBRA 10-235              50  66  0  155  THE WARRIORS (438)         KOLACT
 SUDSY DEODORANT 42-3930     24  25  3  153  COLOR ME SUAVE (4426)      RODEKI
 GIGANTA 62-3197             35  43  2  152  SUPERIOR FORCES IQ (4145)  VALAMANTIS
 SSSS 82-14051               10  26  0  152  SUPERIOR FORCES 6D (4619)  DWES EG
 SMALL CAT 13-4200           44  71  1  151  CARDOW HUNTERS (3697)      DULLENS
 MONSTER 42-467              41  43  0  151  THE BEARS (768)            RODEKI

GRAND ADEPTS                  W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 AXIS OF EVIL 22-5827        31  11  0  150  THE REPUBLICANS (114)      SOLVEN
-UNCLE FUNGUS 53-2778        25  24  1  150  ON THE PILL (4829)         KHALHUMS
 SEITAN 17-4403              33  36  1  149  KINDRED OF KAOS (2471)     ALJAFIR
-SQUEEZE A WALNUT 53-5164    33  49  1  149  ON THE PILL (4829)         KHALHUMS
-ALADAR 82-13483             22   7  0  149  RUSTY NAILS (4363)         DWES EG
 SIMILDE 51-4248             47  92  0  148  DARK HORSEMEN (4217)       TRICORUS
 JOE BLACK 48-3639           22  16  1  148  THE BEARS (677)            CAER
-THE COMMUNITY GUY 53-2043   29  35  3  145  ON THE PILL (4829)         KHALHUMS
 WHITE WATER HIPPO 18-7050   42  39  3  143  CENTER FOR OLDS (4052)     TALCAMA
 JIM PENGOUIN 34-3272        41  40  0  142  THE PENTARCHY (4406)       MONUNTIAL
-SPA MAN 53-2886             23  24  1  142  ON THE PILL (4829)         KHALHUMS
 ELEKTRA 4-3652              28  12  0  139  LOST SOULS II (2818)       JHELUM
 ROMUALD B TUNE 28-3519      39  23  0  136  THE PENTARCHY (4604)       MORYA
-GRAY WIND 6-5201            19  19  1  135  DARK PANTHEON (2442)       TRANSEL
 ZIN 3-4197                  44  73  0  133  GAMES LIBRARY (3481)       OSKSI
 HEARSAY 75-2721             25  14  3  133  LEGALESE (4658)            JADE MOUNTAIN
 HOFFA 49-3185               58  80  0  132  STORIES (2835)             VITHICAR
 SHEPHERD MOON 18-6493       25  24  3  132  MAD SCIENTISTS (392)       TALCAMA
 ACK VERT 18-7429            29  21  1  130  PENTARCHIE-18 (4391)       TALCAMA
 KA D'ARGO 10-4270           24  11  1  127  FARSCAPE (4155)            KOLACT
-SUPERVENTILATOR 6-1605      46  56  2  126  MORBID FASCINATION (973)   TRANSEL
 IMNOTA GOD 33-4801          27  10  0  124  SUPERIOR FORCES 1F (3757)  NIYTYOLE ISLAND
 SLAP HAPPY 60-6031          23  32  0  124  BUMS 'R' US (4507)         ARADI
 BLISS 74-2940               24  13  0  123  BLADE ZEN (4492)           DAIYLA KIV
 H.P. LOVECRAFTED 12-5182    26  21  0  122  WISH YOU WERE BEER (4433)  RIZTAB
 YOUCANKEEPTHEDUCK 18-7355   35  21  0  120  CENTER FOR OLDS (4052)     TALCAMA
 LAME AIM 22-5656            19  10  1  119  GLADIATION FOLLY (4345)    SOLVEN
 MIKE BELIEVE 12-5552        24  22  0  118  POWERPUFF GIRLS (4515)     RIZTAB
 KARMAKAZI 4-4255            27  19  0  117  OUT OF FAEYRIE (1430)      JHELUM
-SACRED REICH 38-3669        33  23  2  115  EAGLES CLAW (1613)         CLIFFHOME
 VIOLENT VOLE 82-4565        15   5  0  110  MAMMAL MILITIA (4756)      DWES EG
 RIFF-RAFF 3-5710            51  50  4  109  TRANSVESTITES (4336)       OSKSI
 COL SALOMON 17-5290         23  21  1  109  82ND ILLINOIS (4384)       ALJAFIR
 COCAINE 78-2311             22  41  0  109  HABIT (4547)               LIN TIRIAN
 JOHN 29-4177                42  57  0  108  MEN (4412)                 LAPUR
 SULACCO 4-5128              24  15  2  108  DEATH ON A STIK (4706)     JHELUM
 E. VICTOR 9-4864            17  14  1  105  LETTER BOMBS (4530)        ZUKAL

GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 CLINTON 22-2516             27  17  1  100  THE DEMOCRATS (4680)       SOLVEN
-THE CURE 38-4085            23  11  1  100  EAGLES CLAW (1613)         CLIFFHOME
-SEVEN MARY THREE 38-3580    17   9  2  100  EAGLES CLAW (1613)         CLIFFHOME
 DUCK RUBBER 18-7196         32  40  0   99  CENTER FOR OLDS (4052)     TALCAMA
 PIPE BOMB 82-8012           16  11  1   99  ANARCHIST COOKBOOK 2 (4652 DWES EG
 SIRTON 82-9190               9   1  0   99  I AM SUCK (4760)           DWES EG
 DRY KEG 33-6679             22  33  0   98  JOYS OF BOOZE (4683)       NIYTYOLE ISLAND
-FLUFFY WONDER BUNN 82-1953  22  16  0   97  2 ALL BEEF BUNNIES I (4647 DWES EG
 (J)AY (C)EE 13-2647         31  18  0   96  THE WILLBURYS 13 (3990)    DULLENS
 WILL DUEL FOR FOOD 7-4827   21   9  0   96  SPARE-A-DIME SHIFT (4710)  BONSUR
-VIAGORILLA 18-7225          20  18  2   94  ANIMAL PHARM (4526)        TALCAMA
-VICTOR CALDERONE 60-5223    17  10  0   93  CLUB CULTURE (4637)        ARADI
-LENTIRIA 75-2754            23  21  1   91  SAND DANCERS (2258)        JADE MOUNTAIN

GRAND INITIATES               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-ROLLERCOASTER 65-5946       11   2  1   91  SUPERIOR FORCES IJ (4610)  DAL SHANG

GRAND INITIATES               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 VIGO 18-6086                17   4  0   90  ALCHEMY (4818)             TALCAMA
-NIPPLES RUSSELL 53-5681     32  27  1   89  ON THE PILL (4829)         KHALHUMS
 WOUNDHEALER 65-4496          8   5  0   89  BOOK OF SWORDS (4305)      DAL SHANG
 F. TIM 78-2315              28  31  1   88  HABIT (4547)               LIN TIRIAN
-VEG-O-MATIC 21-5650         24  15  1   88  TRANSGRESSORS (4835)       SUNSET
 FRIED CHICKEN 82-7661       23   5  0   88  MAIN COURSE (4440)         DWES EG
 ED 209 5-3955               23  27  4   87  TECHNOLOGY (1778)          KALTOS
 BOISE 18-6687               19   4  1   87  SUPERIOR FORCES 6N (4411)  TALCAMA
-AUTOMAN 82-10032             5  22  0   86  MY THIRD PARENT (4654)     DWES EG
 BLACK ARCHER 12-3712         2   0  0   86  THE BLACK PHALANX (4476)   RIZTAB
 NEPHRON 30-4147             25  26  1   85  I GOTTA GO (4646)          IAYE
 SQUEEZE CHEESE 33-1302      24  25  0   85  FOOD FIGHT (3860)          NIYTYOLE ISLAND
 SWINGDADDY-O 42-3921        23  28  0   85  COLOR ME SUAVE (4426)      RODEKI
-STAPLE GUN 30-3836          16   5  1   85  I TRAINED THEM (3047)      IAYE
 NORAF 82-3856                9   6  0   84  ENVENOMED (4693)           DWES EG
 PERFECT LOVER 70-7341       11   5  0   83  KANSAS (4612)              SENTERN
 BIG BROTHER 3-5568          46  67  0   82  FRAT PARTY BLOWOUT (2300)  OSKSI
 BIGGLES 60-6032             22  33  0   82  BUMS 'R' US (4507)         ARADI
-PROBLEMATIC 42-3928         22  16  0   82  FLAGG'S FIVE (4579)        RODEKI
 GORDIAN 63-2104             20  10  0   81  WHY KNOT (2669)            AMEN-TEI
-ROGERS 59-1609              16  12  0   81  THE EXPLORERS (2235)       ILLIS
-CREPES 82-4737              15   8  2   81  FOREIGN FOODS (4169)       DWES EG
 CARNAL 21-5388              24  16  0   80  GRIM FANDANGO (4581)       SUNSET
 2 + 2 = 4 38-4190           19  52  0   80  JUST BECAUSE (4701)        CLIFFHOME
-IRON-HIDE 35-286            20  17  2   79  FERROUS MEN (723)          MURSKA
-GARY CONDIT 22-5914         19  20  1   78  THE DEMOCRATS (4680)       SOLVEN
-WETBOX 60-5229              17  13  1   78  BOXES (4147)               ARADI
-OCTAPUSSY 12-5720           19  13  1   76  ARENA FELINES II (4494)    RIZTAB
 PORK CHOP JUKEBOX 42-3943   31  14  1   75  COLOR ME SUAVE (4426)      RODEKI
 PERSONAL BEJEEZUS 12-5451   16   5  0   75  ESTIMATED PROPHETS (4516)  RIZTAB
 POCKET FISSION 3-6066       21  10  2   74  THE NUKES (1445)           OSKSI
-TSOMEGH 51-5132             21  10  1   74  DARK HORSEMEN (4217)       TRICORUS
 IN THE PIG! 96-864          19  13  5   73  HOWIE'S DARK PAST (4633)   OLD VALAMANTIS
 NUNZIO 51-4799              17   7  1   71  BOY O'S (4027)             TRICORUS
 THERMODYNAMICS 27-3966      20  14  0   70  GET SMART (4066)           POINT
-DELAPP 6-5686               19  13  0   70  NIGHT TRAIN (4729)         TRANSEL
-RHYTHM METHOD 63-2400       17   6  1   69  SURPRISE! (4736)           AMEN-TEI
-THE BUM 61-3178             17  18  0   69  FAVORITE GUYS (4069)       JURINE
 THE 13TH WARRIOR 82-6346     4   2  0   69  STOOPID MOVIES (4759)      DWES EG
-PEON NECROMANCER 18-7856    17  14  3   68  SRETSAMLEUD (4840)         TALCAMA
 NAVARRE 6-5161               7   0  0   68  THE WILLBURYS 6 (4327)     TRANSEL
 MUKAARTH 16-5156            17   5  3   67  BLACKHEART'S AXE (4844)    WILLAF
 COBRA 29-4355               17  12  1   66  DEATH THREAT (4804)        LAPUR
 JOHNNY B GOODE 32-4034      16   2  1   64  CALL THE PRIEST (4839)     ARVAT
 MAGENTA 3-5711              39  61  0   62  TRANSVESTITES (4336)       OSKSI
 RUGGED OUTDOORSMAN 7-4839   23  14  0   62  SPARE-A-DIME SHIFT (4710)  BONSUR
-THE LIMELIGHT 60-6104       26  17  0   60  CLUB CULTURE (4637)        ARADI
 BLONDIE 36-5723             18  18  0   60  BABES (3876)               JHANS
 PIPE LAYER 63-2406          21   9  0   59  WORKING MEN (4752)         AMEN-TEI
-ALLOCUTION 75-2796          20   9  0   59  LEGALESE (4658)            JADE MOUNTAIN
-DINGO 35-3716               17   7  1   59  THE BEARS (2674)           MURSKA
-A-10 33-2563                18  24  1   57  PIG BATTALION (4717)       NIYTYOLE ISLAND
-FLOYD 99-1041               10   5  4   57  NIGHTMARES (4725)          SOUTH RIDGE
 JUSTICE 22-5949             20  13  0   56  THE REPUBLICANS (114)      SOLVEN
 ASHANTI 6-5352              18  25  4   55  KREWE OF DRUID (4679)      TRANSEL
 KING BEAR 35-3629           21   8  1   54  THE BEARS (2674)           MURSKA
 MARK 5-4088                 36  62  2   53  JOHNS (3510)               KALTOS
-ACUTE 60-6048               15   8  0   53  THIEVES GUILD (4312)       ARADI
 JONES 14-1283               20 109  4   52  MIKES (3982)               TOBIR
 THE POLARIZER 18-7025       18   9  1   52  MAD SCIENTISTS (392)       TALCAMA

GRAND INITIATES               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 SUPER BUM 82-18411          15   8  0   52  FLAT BROKE (4842)          DWES EG
 FRANK 3-5707                37  64  1   51  TRANSVESTITES (4336)       OSKSI
 MURGEN 1-7283               17  18  1   51  THE BLACK COMPANY (4837)   MORDANT
 SNAPPY GEORGE 42-4015       16   9  0   50  COLOR ME SUAVE (4426)      RODEKI
 BUBBA 7-4833                20  44  0   48  MORGAN'S BOYS (2702)       BONSUR
 TOTAL PUD 27-2787           15  16  0   48  T.P.S (2834)               POINT
-DARK THUNDER 6-5397         14   5  0   47  DARK PANTHEON (2442)       TRANSEL
-EAGLE'S NEST 38-4271        16   8  1   45  EAGLES CLAW (1613)         CLIFFHOME
 PUDDING PARADE 42-3902      22   9  0   44  COLOR ME SUAVE (4426)      RODEKI
 POTOMACC 21-5489            16  12  0   44  GRIM FANDANGO (4581)       SUNSET
 ARMSTRONG 59-1291           23  16  1   42  THE EXPLORERS (2235)       ILLIS
 BURGATORY 15-4532           14  20  1   41  SACRILEGIOUS MEAT (4838)   MALCORN
-MOONSTONE 78-2405           17   7  0   37  ROCK-ETTS II (4814)        LIN TIRIAN
 ENDYMION 6-4163             22  27  1   36  KREWE OF DRUID (4679)      TRANSEL
 CATHERWOOD 48-2225          17  18  1   34  FIRESIGN THEATRE (2803)    CAER
-EINSTEIN 35-279             15  18  1   34  FERROUS MEN (723)          MURSKA
-MANALGER 96-986              6   6  4   24  DUELMASTERS NICKNAME (4824 OLD VALAMANTIS

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                    W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY              TURN
SUDSY DEODORANT 42-3930    24  25  3 COLOR ME SUAVE 4426    VICTORY 75-757         458
UNBRIDLED 15-3923          43  28  1 TRIPLE CROWN 3914      DROOLING GOOBER 23-346 458

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

Aladar -- You're awful.  I can't believe you ever beat SSSS twice back in 2001. --
Manager

Spotted Pony -- That was a good fight!  You shouldn't have slacked off in the third
minute, though.  But maybe that train you got will help you in longer fights.  If we
face each other again, you're likely to do better. -- Khirza

Com Dot -- Heck.  Other exclamations as appropriate. -- Ho-Chan the Axe

Care Less -- This is PROOF that no good comes from carelessness! -- Charlie

Meadow Vole -- I just can't handle sneaky little animals.  Especially vicious sneaky
little animals. -- Glory

Eastwood -- (with dignity)  I'm a nomad of the plains.  I know nothing of forests. --
Similde

Sniper Bear -- Oh, that really makes my day. -- Small Cat

Bliss -- And that (sigh) puts the lid on our oh-fer turn.  There are weeks like
this.... -- Zin

     Zin -- Well, at least your guild had one win this cycle (that was Glory of
     Homicidal Maniacs).  I wish you a more encouraging showing next time. -- Galen

Taxes -- You're welcome, I guess.  I thought those skills were required.  A tax, as
it were. -- Zin

Carpet Burn -- Thanks for the easy win. -- Taxes

Bloodstone -- Thanks for the skills.  Much appreciated. -- C. Canary

Slap Happy -- C'mon man, you're supposed to lose again.  Oh well, at least it was a
good fight. -- Al Gore

4 February 2004
Greeting from Jhans, DM 36 -- In 2 turns the kLk will host our first annual "St.
Valentines Day Massacre" in Jhans, arena 36.  (Kill Contest)  The contest will begin
on turn 450.  It will run for 10 turns.  On turn 461 the winners will be announced.
There will be 3 separate categories, the team with the most kills, the alliance with
the most kills, and the warrior with the most kills.  For the manager of the team
with the most kills a PRIZE of 10 ROLL-UPS will be rewarded (or $50 deposited into
his account).  No need to declare yourself in the personals.  If you are in DM 36,
you will be part of the contest whether you like it or not.  We encourage as much
trash talk as you'd like.  All teams, managers, and alliances invited.  Please
contact Polarius (mgr. of Blitzkrieg) in DM 36 with questions.  Or you can email me
at jamieptmo@hotmail.com.  Good luck and see you in the sands. -- Polarius

25 February 2004
Readers, and especially those who volunteered warriors -- My apologies for the sudden
lack of episodes.  I've been sick, but expect to be back at the keyboard soon. -- the
Scribe

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

STONE KILLER was devastated by THE ETERNAL PLEDGE in a 1 minute Challenge fight.
MARCO demolished SERVLET SALLY in a popular 1 minute one-sided Challenge melee.
NEVERMORE was vanquished by FRERE MAIN ROUJ in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge brawl.
THE EXPLOITER overpowered LEITZITH in a 2 minute mismatched Challenge Title match.
ALVORANDO defeated D. FILER in a exciting 2 minute bloody Challenge struggle.
COMFORTABLY NUMB overcame HO-CHAN THE AXE in a action packed 5 minute Challenge fight.
CARTHORIS JEDDAK vanquished HATSHEPSUT in a 2 minute uneven Challenge duel.
THE BIG 'E' was vanquished by GUAVA NICE DAY in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
MARCINKO was savagely defeated by LINDA LOVELACE in a 8 minute Challenge match.
AFGHAN REBEL overpowered JACOB in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided Challenge match.
BLACK CYCLOPS was handily defeated by BELIAL in a 1 minute Challenge contest.
LARCENY was devastated by SONORA MOUNTAIN in a 2 minute mismatched Challenge bout.
SNIPER BEAR was defeated by KHIRZA in a popular 1 minute Challenge duel.
ANKLEBITER devastated POPE in a exciting 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
SORROW bested PIPPI NOSTOCKING in a 2 minute Challenge brawl.
EASTWOOD was viciously subdued by YELLOWJACKET in a exciting 2 minute Challenge fight.
TAXES beat LOUANNSALLY in a exciting 2 minute gory Challenge bout.
CARNIVOROUS CANARY was handily defeated by EARTHQUAKE in a 1 minute competition.
CULUBRA was beaten by PEGASUS in a action packed 1 minute Challenge fight.
AXIS OF EVIL demolished HOFFA in a action packed 4 minute uneven Challenge bout.
HEARSAY slimly won victory over H.P. LOVECRAFTED in a 1 minute Challenge contest.
VAL BEMERIKI demolished WHITE WATER HIPPO in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
KA D'ARGO overpowered COCAINE in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
SHEPHERD MOON was defeated by LUGH in a exciting 2 minute Challenge bout.
E. VICTOR vanquished SWINGDADDY-O in a action packed 1 minute uneven Challenge bout.
MIKE BELIEVE luckily beat RIFF-RAFF in a exciting 3 minute bloody Challenge fray.
SQUEEZE CHEESE was vanquished by CLINTON in a 3 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
POTOMACC slimly won victory over ENDYMION in a exciting 2 minute Challenge fight.
KING BEAR was demolished by NORAF in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
BLONDIE was overpowered by BIGGLES in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
BLACK ARCHER handily defeated PIPE LAYER in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge match.
DROOLING GOOBER slew UNBRIDLED in a exciting 1 minute struggle.
BOOZEHOUND subdued FILLETED in a exciting 2 minute struggle.
GOTTM BEERBALLS was handily defeated by MAGMA in a exciting 1 minute one-sided fight.
LANCELOT savagely defeated BAL BURG D'ALGURD in a popular 3 minute gory duel.
GORDON viciously subdued SIR VIVOR in a crowd pleasing 12 minute brutal bout.
PAPAYA BALROG handily defeated SIDAHS in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
JOHN HOLMES overpowered THE HAPPY HOOKER in a action packed 1 minute uneven battle.
THE REAPER devastated FOXY LADY in a action packed 2 minute bloody mismatched match.
VORTEX was overpowered by WOBBLENUT in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided brawl.
GLACIER handily defeated MR. WRINKLE-FREE in a exciting 1 minute one-sided conflict.
MAELSTROM savagely defeated JUST A JOB TO DO in a popular 3 minute gruesome battle.
THE BEAST outlasted JACKASS in a action packed 9 minute bout.
LADY LUCK savagely defeated BLACK ORC in a action packed 1 minute brutal competition.
ROAD TO DAKAR demolished MAGELLAN in a exciting 1 minute one-sided conflict.
SENGIR VAMPIRE demolished BURST in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
GLORY handily defeated WIMPY WIND in a exciting 1 minute bloody mismatched contest.
AFRICAN GREY demolished SALLY RIDE in a popular 1 minute mismatched battle.
THE BISMARCK bested HOT HAZEL in a exciting 4 minute bloody match.
DOMINO devastated PARADISE PARROT in a action packed 8 minute bloody one-sided bout.
ONE NIGHT STAND was defeated by TSUNAMI in a crowd pleasing 2 minute bloody fight.
KATE BUSH bested CHARLIE in a 2 minute bout.
ARCOS was beaten by COM DOT in a action packed 2 minute fight.
JIMBY savagely defeated BAWDY BUZZ BUD in a exciting 2 minute bloody conflict.
DALI PARTON was narrowly defeated by TONGUE-FLAPPIN' TARD in a 2 minute struggle.
COUCH POTATO savagely defeated MATA HARI in a crowd pleasing 9 minute brutal bout.
MEADOW VOLE won victory over STONEWALL in a popular 5 minute duel.
PEEG overpowered SPOTTED PONY in a action packed 1 minute gruesome one-sided fight.
AFROSLEAZIAC savagely defeated FURTIVE RETURNS in a exciting 2 minute gruesome battle.
SNIPE HUNTER overpowered VELVET VIXEN in a exciting 1 minute mismatched fight.
SIR CUITOUS was vanquished by CHOKING CHICKEN in a 1 minute one-sided contest.
PISTOL overpowered ALVIN YORK in a popular 1 minute one-sided match.
STILLWATER was savagely defeated by VERUCA SALT in a crowd pleasing 1 minute fight.
EVERSTORM devastated ACK VERT in a 1 minute mismatched match.
TICKLE ME HOFFA demolished LAME AIM in a crowd pleasing 2 minute brutal uneven match.
AUDIE MURPHY defeated CEREBRAL JANITOR in a action packed 2 minute fight.
GIGANTA was handily defeated by CARPET BURN in a 1 minute mismatched match.
VICTORY murdered SUDSY DEODORANT in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
BLOODSTONE overpowered SIMILDE in a 1 minute one-sided conflict.
S. MARY ROSE overcame KARMAKAZI in a action packed 1 minute conflict.
COOKIE SNORT demolished JIM PENGOUIN in a exciting 1 minute mismatched bout.
MIGHTY MITE bested SLAP HAPPY in a exciting 3 minute match.
DEBBIE DOES DM overpowered SMALL CAT in a exciting 1 minute gruesome one-sided fray.
MONSTER was demolished by CRAZED GOBLIN in a 1 minute one-sided contest.
BLISS was demolished by SEITAN in a 2 minute uneven bout.
SULACCO slimly won victory over DRY KEG in a action packed 4 minute gruesome match.
COL SALOMON was overpowered by JOE BLACK in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided duel.
LEMON DROP demolished IMNOTA GOD in a popular 3 minute gory one-sided brawl.
RUG BURN was savagely defeated by ELEKTRA in a action packed 3 minute competition.
IMAGE ENHANCER overpowered ZIN in a exciting 3 minute one-sided bout.
SSSS vanquished YOUCANKEEPTHEDUCK in a exciting 1 minute mismatched fight.
GLITTER MARKS was viciously subdued by VIOLENT VOLE in a 2 minute contest.
JOHN was vanquished by ROMUALD B TUNE in a popular 1 minute bloody one-sided struggle.
WOUNDHEALER was unbelievably bested by (J)AY (C)EE in a action packed 7 minute battle.
POCKET FISSION was devastated by SIRTON in a action packed 1 minute uneven duel.
DUCK RUBBER demolished MARK in a popular 1 minute uneven match.
NUNZIO lost to BOISE in a action packed 1 minute fray.
PERFECT LOVER savagely defeated MAGENTA in a crowd pleasing 3 minute competition.
RUGGED OUTDOORSMAN was demolished by F. TIM in a 1 minute one-sided competition.
CARNAL handily defeated JUSTICE in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
BUBBA was overpowered by NAVARRE in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
WILL DUEL FOR FOOD bested GORDIAN in a action packed 1 minute match.
ASHANTI was outwaited by PERSONAL BEJEEZUS in a action packed 9 minute duel.
THE POLARIZER was handily defeated by PORK CHOP JUKEBOX in a 1 minute uneven match.
FRANK was overpowered by ED 209 in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided duel.
TOTAL PUD was handily defeated by JOHNNY B GOODE in a 1 minute uneven contest.
LIL NOIR vanquished HERPES THE LUVBUG in a crowd pleasing 1 minute uneven fray.
VIGO overpowered DOAMER in a action packed 1 minute brutal one-sided match.
BIG BROTHER overpowered PUDDING PARADE in a 1 minute uneven fight.
THERMODYNAMICS devastated MURGEN in a popular 1 minute mismatched fray.
THE 13TH WARRIOR was demolished by PIPE BOMB in a 1 minute mismatched conflict.
FRIED CHICKEN viciously subdued 2 + 2 = 4 in a action packed 2 minute bloody match.
ARMSTRONG was devastated by COBRA in a exciting 1 minute mismatched match.
NEPHRON overpowered JONES in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
SUPER BUM was viciously subdued by MUKAARTH in a crowd pleasing 5 minute brutal duel.
IN THE PIG! savagely defeated CATHERWOOD in a crowd pleasing 3 minute competition.
SNAPPY GEORGE won victory over BURGATORY in a exciting 3 minute melee.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  62         PARRY-STRIKE      28 -  21 -  0      57  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                 30         LUNGING ATTACK   337 - 302 - 10      53  |
|WALL OF STEEL                   29         BASHING ATTACK    44 -  40 -  0      52  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                 19         SLASHING ATTACK  149 - 137 -  1      52  |
|TOTAL PARRY                     19         STRIKING ATTACK  101 -  95 -  2      52  |
|AIMED BLOW                      16         AIMED BLOW        85 -  82 -  3      51  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                     15         TOTAL PARRY       99 - 108 -  0      48  |
|BASHING ATTACK                  10         PARRY-LUNGE       71 -  81 -  3      47  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    7         WALL OF STEEL    129 - 152 -  1      46  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     6         PARRY-RIPOSTE     18 -  39 -  0      32  |

Turn 458 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

BASHING ATTACK     6 -  4     PARRY-LUNGE        7 -  8         4  LUNGING ATTACK 
STRIKING ATTACK   11 -  8     SLASHING ATTACK   14 - 16         3  AIMED BLOW     
LUNGING ATTACK    33 - 29     AIMED BLOW         7 -  9         2  PARRY-LUNGE    
WALL OF STEEL     15 - 14     PARRY-RIPOSTE      3 -  4         1  WALL OF STEEL  
PARRY-STRIKE       3 -  3     TOTAL PARRY        8 - 11         1  SLASHING ATTACK

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
LUNGING ATTACK   THE EXPLOITER 22-1226      53  34  1  273 THE REPUBLICANS (114)
AIMED BLOW       BELIAL 7-3838             101  69  2  362 WICKED MARTYRS (3170)
WALL OF STEEL    ALVORANDO 82-3664          27   8  0  276 THE BLACK ELITE (3857)
PARRY-LUNGE      LINDA LOVELACE 43-3149     44  18  1  245 BOOGIE NIGHTS (2800)
SLASHING ATTACK  PAPAYA BALROG 37-3035      82  52  0  233 FRUIT PUPPETS (2520)
BASHING ATTACK   GLACIER 75-2046            66  41  3  233 FORCE OF NATURE (3331)
TOTAL PARRY      THE BEAST 3-5547           51  64  0  222 FRAT PARTY BLOWOUT (2300)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    TONGUE-FLAPPIN' T 23-3505  50  31  0  204 SPECIAL ED (2722)
STRIKING ATTACK  VICTORY 75-757             17  11  2  201 SUPERIOR FORCES (2152)
PARRY-STRIKE     FOXY LADY 18-2695          47  40  0  199 CENTER FOR OLDS (4052)

The overall popularity leader is HO-CHAN THE AXE 75-670.  The most popular warrior 
this turn was GORDON 36-4536.  The ten other most popular fighters were WOUNDHEALER 
65-4496, ASHANTI 6-5352, LINDA LOVELACE 43-3149, HO-CHAN THE AXE 75-670, HOT HAZEL 
98-608, MUKAARTH 16-5156, STONEWALL 25-3895, THE BEAST 3-5547, COUCH POTATO 3-2985, 
and LEMON DROP 33-6685.

The least popular fighter this week was JONES 14-1283.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were PUDDING PARADE 42-3902, DOAMER 18-2265, HERPES THE LUVBUG 18-4055, THE 
POLARIZER 18-7025, BUBBA 7-4833, JUSTICE 22-5949, POCKET FISSION 3-6066, COL SALOMON 
17-5290, MONSTER 42-467, and SIMILDE 51-4248.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
MORDANT(1)           2  3 0  LYRATILAN(25)        1  3 0  TRICORUS(51)         2  3 0  
OSKSI(3)             5  6 0  CALEAM(26)           1  0 0  ILLIS(59)            0  2 0  
JHELUM(4)            4  2 0  POINT(27)            1  1 0  ARADI(60)            1  1 0  
KALTOS(5)            1  2 0  MORYA(28)            1  1 0  JURINE(61)           0  1 0  
TRANSEL(6)           2  2 0  LAPUR(29)            1  2 0  VALAMANTIS(62)       3  1 0  
BONSUR(7)            4  4 0  IAYE(30)             1  0 0  AMEN-TEI(63)         0  2 0  
ARKERS(8)            1  0 0  ARVAT(32)            2  0 0  DAL SHANG(65)        3  1 0  
ZUKAL(9)             1  3 0  NIYTYOLE ISLAND(33)  1  3 0  CIMMERIAC(69)        5  0 0  
KOLACT(10)           2  4 0  MONUNTIAL(34)        0  1 0  SENTERN(70)          1  0 0  
RIZTAB(12)           3  2 0  MURSKA(35)           1  1 0  KYR'TERR(71)         0  1 0  
DULLENS(13)          1  2 0  JHANS(36)            1  2 0  DAIYLA KIV(74)       0  1 0  
TOBIR(14)            0  1 0  SIBIKHAS(37)         2  0 0  JADE MOUNTAIN(75)    7  3 1  
MALCORN(15)          2  2 0  CLIFFHOME(38)        0  1 0  MAZGOURRAH(77)       0  2 0  
WILLAF(16)           2  1 0  KATI-TEI(41)         1  1 0  LIN TIRIAN(78)       2  1 0  
ALJAFIR(17)          2  1 0  RODEKI(42)           4  6 0  DWES EG(82)          9  3 0  
TALCAMA(18)          9 18 0  VEASTIAN(43)         2  0 0  OLD VALAMANTIS(96)   2  0 0  
SUNSET(21)           2  3 0  CAER(48)             1  1 0  SHADOW GROVE(97)     0  1 0  
SOLVEN(22)           6  2 0  VITHICAR(49)         0  1 0  SYVYN'S HILL(98)     0  1 0  
TI(23)               2  0 1  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 SORROW 1-2863               38  25  2  203  SWEORDMASTERS (4796)       MORDANT
 THE BEAST 3-5547            51  64  0  222  FRAT PARTY BLOWOUT (2300)  OSKSI
 SNIPE HUNTER 4-3708         36  40  2  198  OUT OF FAEYRIE (1430)      JHELUM
 POPE 5-4090                 46  52  2  191  JOHNS (3510)               KALTOS
 PEGASUS 6-4161              24  24  1  166  KREWE OF DRUID (4679)      TRANSEL
 BOOZEHOUND 7-871            33  24  0  442  LIQUOR CABINET II (4518)   BONSUR
 FRERE MAIN ROUJ 8-4082      47  24  0  234  LA PENTARCHIE (4427)       ARKERS
 D. FILER 9-4721             40  10  1  201  LETTER BOMBS (4530)        ZUKAL
 SIR VIVOR 10-4065           74  40  0  204  SIR AGLIO (2079)           KOLACT
 BAWDY BUZZ BUD 12-4856      31  28  1  184  WISH YOU WERE BEER (4433)  RIZTAB
 SMALL CAT 13-4200           44  71  1  151  CARDOW HUNTERS (3697)      DULLENS
 JONES 14-1283               20 109  4   52  MIKES (3982)               TOBIR
 ROAD TO DAKAR 15-3978       46  26  2  223  KA-POW! (3970)             MALCORN
 THE BISMARCK 16-4481        36  19  1  211  ALL-TIME GREATS (4488)     WILLAF
 SEITAN 17-4403              33  36  1  149  KINDRED OF KAOS (2471)     ALJAFIR
 LADY LUCK 18-2925           39  37  1  221  CENTER FOR OLDS (4052)     TALCAMA
 STONE KILLER 21-5245        29  10  1  191  NASTY MOB (4730)           SUNSET
 THE EXPLOITER 22-1226       53  34  1  273  THE REPUBLICANS (114)      SOLVEN
 DROOLING GOOBER 23-3467     47  35  1  292  SPECIAL ED (2722)          TI
 CARTHORIS JEDDAK 26-2376    49  29  1  209  FIGHTING MEN OF MARS (4709 CALEAM
 THERMODYNAMICS 27-3966      20  14  0   70  GET SMART (4066)           POINT
 WIMPY WIND 28-3517          25  25  1  176  THE PENTARCHY (4604)       MORYA
 JOHN 29-4177                42  57  0  108  MEN (4412)                 LAPUR
 NEPHRON 30-4147             25  26  1   85  I GOTTA GO (4646)          IAYE
 BLOODSTONE 32-3383          38  35  1  169  PRECIOUS LADIES (2987)     ARVAT
 LEMON DROP 33-6685          28  27  0  156  JOYS OF BOOZE (4683)       NIYTYOLE ISLAND
 JIM PENGOUIN 34-3272        41  40  0  142  THE PENTARCHY (4406)       MONUNTIAL
 MEADOW VOLE 35-2944         46  46  2  202  WILD KINGDOM (4193)        MURSKA
 GORDON 36-4536              49  18  1  258  BARNYARD BRUTES (4238)     JHANS
 PAPAYA BALROG 37-3035       82  52  0  233  FRUIT PUPPETS (2520)       SIBIKHAS
 2 + 2 = 4 38-4190           19  52  0   80  JUST BECAUSE (4701)        CLIFFHOME
 MATA HARI 41-3812           33  21  0  180  FIST OF FIVE (3875)        KATI-TEI
 JIMBY 42-3777               43  36  1  210  COLOR ME SUAVE (4426)      RODEKI
 LINDA LOVELACE 43-3149      44  18  1  245  BOOGIE NIGHTS (2800)       VEASTIAN
 JOE BLACK 48-3639           22  16  1  148  THE BEARS (677)            CAER
 HOFFA 49-3185               58  80  0  132  STORIES (2835)             VITHICAR
 MARCO 51-5008               40  16  2  219  BOY O'S (4027)             TRICORUS
 MAGELLAN 59-126             29  30  0  182  THE EXPLORERS (2235)       ILLIS
 SLAP HAPPY 60-6031          23  32  0  124  BUMS 'R' US (4507)         ARADI
 CHARLIE 61-2873             51  45  0  177  FAVORITE GUYS (4069)       JURINE

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 THE ETERNAL PLEDGE 62-2931  35  26  0  231  LEGENDS OF TKE (4197)      VALAMANTIS
 GORDIAN 63-2104             20  10  0   81  WHY KNOT (2669)            AMEN-TEI
 COM DOT 65-6217             43  26  0  208  TOO GOOD FOR ME (4016)     DAL SHANG
 THE REAPER 69-8774          64  33  0  319  BLOOD MOON (3649)          CIMMERIAC
 PERFECT LOVER 70-7341       11   5  0   83  KANSAS (4612)              SENTERN
 PARADISE PARROT 71-1735     32  34  0  170  EDGE OF EXTINCTION (4452)  KYR'TERR
 BLISS 74-2940               24  13  0  123  BLADE ZEN (4492)           DAIYLA KIV
 GLACIER 75-2046             66  41  3  233  FORCE OF NATURE (3331)     JADE MOUNTAIN
 SALLY RIDE 77-2378          30  24  2  177  HEROES (3408)              MAZGOURRAH
 S. MARY ROSE 78-2313        34  29  1  157  HABIT (4547)               LIN TIRIAN
 ALVORANDO 82-3664           27   8  0  276  THE BLACK ELITE (3857)     DWES EG
 COMFORTABLY NUMB 96-855     25  10  5  196  FLOYD'S PINK BRO' (4622)   OLD VALAMANTIS
 MARCINKO 97-961             20  18  5  199  ROGUE WARRIOR (4632)       SHADOW GROVE