ADVANCED DUELMASTERS
Date : 08/27/2003 Duedate: 09/09/2003
HOME GUARD
DM-101 TURN-357
RANK TEAMS W L K % RANK TEAMS W L K %
1 4000 BLOWS 60/1107 7 2 0 77.8 DRAKE'S COMICS 47/1112
2 COLLEGE RADI 98/1223 111 53 0 67.7 DRAKE'S BAR-B-Q 15/313
THE MOTHERSHIP 19/1148 DRAKE'S PETTING ZOO 33/1075
3 MENAGERIE 26/1137 16 8 0 66.7 18 SAMURAI KIDS 62/1182 8 9 0 47.1
THE ILLUMINATI 25/1179 19 BUMS 'R' US 60/1142 23 26 0 46.9
CALL TO THUNDER 7/1217 JOYS OF BOOZE 33/1209
CAER SIDHE 41/1218 20 HARBINGERS 32/1226 27 31 0 46.6
4 SHADOW GOLD 71/1143 371 238 1 60.9 21 GENOCIDE 51/1109 133 157 0 45.9
SHADOW SIGNS 60/1220 SCIENCE FICTION 6/1152
5 LUST MUPPETS 32/1099 235 172 1 57.7 RESURRECTION 2/1065
6 QUBIT 10/1136 615 506 2 54.9 22-DARKMOON 12/1197 21 25 0 45.7
VERMIN!! 82/1124 23 RPG'S 49/697 1091 1387 15 44.0
JOKA MASHER! 60/833 WILD AMINALS 74/635
SIR AGLIO 10/788 BAD NEWS 78/640
SNOTZI'S II 33/813 24 CARNIVAL 19/95 41 53 0 43.6
TOO GOOD FOR ME 65/1054 CARNIVAL 30/1130
7 MAGICK 60/955 444 374 4 54.3 25 THRILLZ & KIL 7/1211 3 4 0 42.9
FORCE OF NATURE 75/747 SUPERIOR KILLS 98/1229
AND SO IT BEGINS 65/1062 26 VIOLENT FEMS 35/972 370 495 9 42.8
EDGE OF EXTINCTION 71/973 JUST BECAUSE 38/1228
CARTOUCHE 71/1111 27 JUNKYARD WAR 98/1140 14 20 0 41.2
8 THE NIGHT'S WA 9/787 345 292 5 54.2 28 HARLEQUINS 2/1186 45 71 1 38.8
9 CLUB CULTURE 60/1230 79 69 1 53.4 WAR HAWKS 10/1026
10 YOU FEEL THA 82/1205 95 89 0 51.6 FREELANCERS 72/1232
THUNDR + LITENING 18/222 29 MY PETS 9/554 427 690 10 38.2
11 REAL BEER 21/1116 633 608 9 51.0 GIRL SCOUT COOKIES 33/812
HERE TO PHOENIX 26/1072 RHYME TYME 55/449
ROYAL FLUSH 47/146 30 SOLARAN BERSE 40/949 21 37 1 36.2
DUCKS UNLIMITED 39/1221 31 BLUE MOON 9/1025 381 677 3 36.0
12 SWEORDMASTERS 1/1210 28 27 0 50.9 BAD APPLES 56/1091
LAB EXPERIMENTS 1/1207 CIRQUE DU MASQUES 58/1093
SUGAR AND SPICE 7/1231 REFORMERS 64/1095
MANNEQUIN'S BEST 1/1227 32 POWERPUFF GI 12/1145 8 17 0 32.0
13-SUPERIOR KIL 98/1224 222 222 1 50.0 33 TRIP OUT 30/1216 4 9 0 30.8
14-RED FURY 9/786 140 141 0 49.8 UNTOUCHABLES 18/1190
THE TAKEN 29/350 BLIND LUCK 97/1183
15 OVERLORDS 20/30 95 96 0 49.7 34 THE REDBAERS 3/1180 8 19 0 29.6
THE STORMGUARDS 31/132 TOMATO ENFORCER 63/1193
16 PUERCO'S PINA 53/700 60 61 0 49.6 35 U.B.O.S.M. 11/1184 6 20 0 23.1
ANDORIAN UNIVERSITY 30/1213 36 MY DRUGS 98/1222 1 11 0 8.3
ANDORIAN UNIVERSITY 66/1123 SANDS OF TIME 38/1195
THE GREENHOUSE 30/1219 37 IKER'S CORPS 99/1225 0 2 0 0.0
17 DRAKE'S LODG 73/1206 134 150 5 47.2
'##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id '-' Team did not fight this turn
WARRIOR SPOTLIGHT
+ ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ Eye of the Storm #64 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +
Somewhere in the Far West:
Ashon Chang, Werre, and Jammies handled the sailing of their ship, with Vurand
doing what he could, mostly the cooking. Rughal and Herlas were present but not
really there, wholly focused on each other as though they were locked in a dance the
lip of a volcano. It made them unnerving traveling companions.
They saw other vessels from time to time as they made their way down the western
coast of Ghea. None of them close enough to hail, and after the tenth passed at a
distance, Jammies began to wonder if the others were deliberate avoiding such
contact.
"Probably," Vurand said when the young gladiator raised the question. "We've
gotten used to it, but there must be such a cloud of magical tension over this ship
that even the blindest will notice and avoid us." The Orc didn't look toward the bow
of the ship where Herlas and Rughal were currently stationed, staring at each other
silently. Jammies didn't, either. Looking at them made him twitch. "I'd avoid us,
too, if I could," he muttered. "I'll be glad when I've got ground under my feet
again, too."
"That might be fairly soon," Jammies said, his spirits lifting. He didn't care
much for sailing, or maybe it was just that he didn't like living on this little ship
for days on end. "Werre's got this chart that he's marking our positions on every
day, and when we get through there--" he gestured ahead at rocks looming on their
eastern horizon, "--we'll be almost to somewhere."
"Almost to somewhere?" The Orc grinned. "I like that! That describes this
whole situation." He sobered. "Things aren't so good, are they?"
Jammies shrugged uncomfortably. The gladiators talked about the situation
whenever two of them were together--the decline in the Arcanum and what that might
mean to Ghea, the kidnapping of Shania Silverstar, and the search for the Eye of the
West, but there wasn't anything they could DO about any of it except what they were
doing. Which was hunting for the Eye under the advice of Herlas, a man none of them
trusted. Jammies sighed. "More than once lately, I've found myself wishing for
something simple and obvious, like an attack by pirates...."
"Ship approaching!" Werre shouted suddenly. "Looks like trouble!"
Vurand glared at Jammies. "You just HAD to say that about pirates, didn't you?"
*** ***** *** ***** ***
"The time for choice is long past," the man had said. By being so closed-
minded, he had made HIS choice, at least.
There were other ways to save the Eye of the West. So Shania believed, even
though she did not yet know what those ways might be.
She sat up on the pallet cautiously, a little surprised that she could move with
relative ease, she had been so tired for so long. More surprised that there was no
one in the room with her. Were they so sure she could do nothing that would matter
here? Or did they think her too weak to move at all? Well, what they thought didn't
matter. She got to her feet carefully, noting in passing that she had been dressed
in a simple shift of white cloth... appropriate for a sacrifice, no doubt. Probably
one they intended to carry out quite soon, which meant she didn't have much time for
whatever she was going to do on her own.
Whatever that might be.
She was going to do something with the Eye that she had come so far to find.
Shania crossed to the pillar-statue that was holding the dying stone and
contemplated it for a moment, then touched the dull surface lightly.
Ah. There WAS a spirit within, as the man had said. She received an impression
of great age, perhaps as great as her own, and of weariness.
*Release me.* The voice was barely a whisper in her mind.
"I do not refuse," Shania said carefully, "but how and why? And what will
happen to Ghea if your release destroys this stone which has upheld the Arcanum?"
*So many questions.* There was a period of silence. *It is a long story....*
Another silence. *And we do not have much time between us for the telling, but you
must know a little. Enough to act correctly.* A mental sigh.
*Long ago, the world began to fall apart. Some of us said that it was because
of the departure of the Folstrom, that they had held the world together with their
Arts, and now withdrew that support along with their presence. Some of us said...
other things. It doesn't matter now, I suppose.*
"It might," Shania said. "If the problem is recurring, that might be crucial
information."
A mental shrug. *If it is important, that is a misfortune, because it is
not.... That information is no longer available. I am not able to speak of it.
Reality was changing then. It is changing now. SHE decided to stabilize the world
with... by making devices to support what SHE called reality. The Eyes. SHE chose
four of us to energize them, but I am the only one left, and there is no longer....
I cannot maintain stability without my kinsmen to balance against.*
"The only one left... the other three Eyes are destroyed, then?"
*I fear so, because I cannot feel them anywhere, and if they were still in this
phase of existence, I would. I felt.... It doesn't matter. They are gone. The
people here--what they want to do will not work. One alone cannot maintain the
balance of the world. The old reality is ending. You must find a new reality, with
new keys. Do not let HER or anyone persuade you that there is virtue in returning to
the old way. Can a bird crawl back into its egg?* A mental laugh. *People will not
accept that until they must, though. Can you resist their pressures?*
"If I see the need, yes, of course. But I have little strength to resist
anything now." Shania wondered if she should go into the details that had ended with
her life being linked with the Ghean Arcanum. Not now. Besides, this person in the
Eye might already know....
*I know* the stone agreed. *As I am placing a burden on you, so I will also
give you the only gift I have. Take the stone in your arms, and do not resist,
Shania Silverstar.*
She did so, lifting it carefully. It was lighter in weight than she had
expected, but there was a feeling of fragility about it. It might be a hollow shell
of glass, from the feel of it. At first it was neither warm nor cold, but warmth
crept into it. Out of it. Into her.
*All of life and strength that remains to me I give to you, Shania Silverstar,*
the voice in her mind whispered. *Use it well.*
+ ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ The Tides of Magic #12 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +
Not Talahya:
The gladiators shifted automatically to take up what each considered good
defensive stance. Fizban noted wryly that the ability to support each other in
defense or offense did not appear to be a dominating factor. No doubt Sheila
Greywand had reasons for the type of training she had ordained, each man trained to
be a solitary hero, but he would have preferred to see more teamwork. He sighed
again. Well, she doubtless had her reasons. For himself, he picked a position where
he had a clear field in the direction Rogan was facing and rummaged through his store
of spells for those which would be most useful in a totally unknown situation.
The fog, turned to a golden mist by the sunlight, thinned slowly. Slowly enough
that he would have expected the approaching person to be visible by now. Unless
Rogan had been mistaken, which seemed unlikely. True, he, Fizban, could not hear
anyone approaching, but unfortunately he had noticed a slight deterioration in his
hearing. Getting old was such a nuisance. Very clever of Lady Sheila to have
granted the gladiators agelessness for so long as they remained in her service.
Immortality without agelessness was a cruel jest, but agelessness granted at the
height of one's physical powers was...tempting. Few would refuse it, and the price
seemed so low, merely take an oath to serve her in defense of Alastari.... The oath
had magical overtones, of course, and once given could NOT be ignored. And the
oftener he came to the Isle, associated with Lord Protectors, the more certain Fizban
became that there was a hook somewhere in that tasty bait. Well, that wasn't today's
problem.
The mist farther along the flagstone path swirled and parted. The figure
approaching was approximately human in shape and size, but there had been, the old
wizard thought, reptiles in its ancestry rather than mammals. It was scaled and had
a crest of quills. It stopped and looked at them warily, but without overt
hostility.
"Greetings," Scarlatti said briskly. "We have come from a great distance, and
by accident. Can you tell us where we are?"
The creature uttered a musical trill, then said, in passable Isle cant, "You
have come to the Thallian Hub. Where did you expect to be?"
"We did not expect to have moved at all," Moonjumper answered ruefully. "We
were on the Isle of the Eye, at the city of Talahya."
"It is passing strange," the lizard man said, "but strange things are quite
normal here in Thallia. It is perhaps best that you should speak with the wizards of
the College. If you would have the goodness to come with me?" He gestured towards
the path behind himself and the minutely scaled skin of his forehead twitched,
perhaps the equivalent of a human raising eyebrows in question. "My name, by the
way, is--" he whistled something. "I believe you do not have the type of mouth
needed to speak that, however, and others of your kind might say...Thristle." He
moved along the path in the direction he'd come from, apparently trusting them to
follow and not concerned at having armed humans--and an elf--at his back. It was
only when the lizard man had turned his back that Fizban realized Thristle was armed
with a sword, as well.
Scarlatti hurried to catch up and walk beside their guide. "What do you do here
in Thallia?" he asked.
"Many things are done by different people here," Thristle said. "Thallia is a
Hub, after all. I myself am a gladiator, I fight on a team of netmen." He made a
deep humming sound. "It is not a career my clan would approve, but one does as one
must, and after the battle of Sigarvle was so disastrously lost...." He gave a
surprisingly human shrug. "Those of us who survived were so deeply dishonored by the
situation that we had few options. At least this gladiating allows us to pay our
way, and we remain together as a team, honing our skills for the chance that we all
await wherein we shall retrieve our honor and be able to return to our home,
beautiful Trisnath. What has been your career in the place from which you came?" the
lizard man asked. "What are your skills? For to live on Thallia is not a small
thing, and you will need to find employment at once."
"We're gladiators, too," Scarlatti said. "All but old Fizban there, and he's a
manager."
"Ah, that is bad luck! You are too few to make an effective team, and the best
you can hope for is to be taken on as standbys for the established teams. What are
your specialties? The phalanx teams are always looking for extra men, and I have
heard that the Blue faction chariots are--"
"We are accustomed to fighting one-on-one," Carris Fallstar snapped from
Thristle's other side.
Thristle's forehead twitched again. "Single combat? There is a market for
that, but as unknown challengers you would be likely to get only the worst matches."
He shook his head, his crest of quills rustling. "A hard life, and not even a friend
at your side in the worst of it. I do not envy you that!"
"We would rather simply return to our Talahya," Fizban said.
"And so I would suppose, as I would rather return to Trisnath. But even if you
have no stain of dishonor to wipe out, as I and my companions have, how will you pay
the wizards to accomplish it? The wizards of the College never act for free."
Before anyone could respond to this, Rogan said quietly, "Someone coming up
behind us, fast. A group--at least six, maybe seven. They're wearing mail."
Thristle darted a glance over his shoulder and his hand went immediately to his
sword. "The Ardaunar!" he wailed, turning and drawing. "Though you are not of my
company, I beg you not to flee. The Ardaunar always pursue that which flees!"
REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER
You know, they weren't going to let me in to see the fights. ME! I had to call
the Commission. It was all Zontani's doing, him and his deep con caves. You gotta
wonder what he's hiding there.
But I'll cut straight to the chase today. We had fifty-two fights, of which
twenty-four were challenge matches, which means we're pulling up on Free Blades,
which had fifty-five and twenty-seven last time. Put that in your pipe and smoke it,
Debby Tonte! 'Course, we only had one TV challenge, but this IS Home Guard. Two
standbys fought, and nobody died.
Too Good For Me was avoided by The Stormguards. Is there some hidden (but not
obscure) message in that? Isawa Tadaka got the most challenges, I think. Either
that, or the most enemies. These notes are a trifle obscure.
The longest fight was fourteen minutes, and I'm not handing out turtles to
anybody. Three matches tied for second at nine minutes each. Gods, have you no
mercy? Think of your poor fans!
NEVERMORE (1-5260) (18-19-2,76) of LAB EXPERIMENTS fought LETHE (9-4782) (23-17-
2,39) of BLUE MOON. NEVERMORE overpowered LETHE in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-
sided duel. That winning record will vanish fast at this rate, Lethe, but Nevermore
may get one instead. Every time somebody loses, somebody else wins. Remember that,
and be glad we don't do ties. I hate ties, they always made me feel like I was
strangling.
SIR VILE (10-4754) (18-12-0,75) of SIR AGLIO fought KANDY KANES (19-4329) (16-8-
0,56) of CARNIVAL. SIR VILE was savagely defeated by KANDY KANES in a 2 minute
bloody fight. And not only that, Sir found himself in need of a hefty shot of
insulin. Kandy first tripped him with her cane, then force-fed him on (shudder)
cotton candy.
MOD COD (55-2638) (37-70-1,38) of RHYME TYME fought MEN IN BLACK (49-3157) (42-
89-1,83) of RPG'S. MOD COD was viciously subdued by MEN IN BLACK in an exciting 2
minute brutal contest. That's Men for you, vicious and brutal, but exciting. Mod
Cod has now been expertly filleted.
BEER GOGGLES (33-6819) (19-15-1,73) of JOYS OF BOOZE fought BAYUSHI KACHIKO (7-
5235) (17-4-0,55) of CALL TO THUNDER. BEER GOGGLES overpowered BAYUSHI KACHIKO in a
crowd pleasing 1 minute uneven bout. "Beer goggles"? You're kidding me--I never
heard of this one. Tell us more. Explain. Goggle at us.
ODEN WARFIEND (11-1335) (23-19-2,60) of U.B.O.S.M. fought KATANA (62-3769) (9-
11-0,67) of SAMURAI KIDS II. ODEN WARFIEND was devastated by KATANA in a crowd
pleasing 1 minute one-sided match. Hmm, "Un-Bridled Orc S'Mores"? "Ugly But Oily
Smooth Man"? Oden, why are you losing to this young Katana? Have you no pride? No
skill?
LYTA ALEXANDER (65-5021) (9-5-0,48) of AND SO IT BEGINS fought LUNA TYCK (33-
5761) (27-30-1,54) of DRAKE'S PETTING ZOO. LYTA ALEXANDER was narrowly defeated by
LUNA TYCK in a popular 4 minute brawl. The worst thing about losing to the Tyck is
having to give blood after the fight, on top of the injuries, I mean. Sooner or
later someone's going to die from that.
TUTANKHAMUN (71-3357) (15-7-0,73) of CARTOUCHE fought SOUL SCOURGE (25-1223)
(17-8-2,68) of THE ILLUMINATI. TUTANKHAMUN was beaten by SOUL SCOURGE in an exciting
1 minute struggle. Tut, my boy, you were supposed to send an ushabti to deal with
that. Never get out in the arena in person if you can avoid it.
AVALANCHE (75-2213) (14-3-1,81) of FORCE OF NATURE fought NO CHASER (33-6490)
(26-19-0,74) of JOYS OF BOOZE. AVALANCHE overpowered NO CHASER in a crowd pleasing 1
minute mismatched conflict. And where, I want to know, did that two tons of snow
come from? It's summer, right? Seems to me there must have been some magic involved
in this.
TSUNAMI (75-2214) (17-2-1,90) of FORCE OF NATURE fought B&G BOUNCER (101-3) (0-
0-0,30) of Local Louts. TSUNAMI handily defeated B&G BOUNCER in an exciting 1 minute
gory one-sided bout. And I understand that there's a standing rule at the Bash &
Glug that anybody who beats the Bouncer gets to drink for free until he, she, or it
passes out. What a thrilling prospect, eh?
MUMMY (99-853) (7-4-5,16) of IKER'S CORPSES fought SULTAN (10-4516) (25-8-0,87)
of SIR AGLIO. MUMMY was vanquished by SULTAN in a 1 minute one-sided match. But
watch out, Sultan, because Daddy might be along at any moment to get vengeance for
this mishandling of dear old Mum.
TORATORATORRES (11-726) (21-20-0,53) of U.B.O.S.M. fought THE FRATSFAN CHEF (30-
4385) (15-5-0,74) of ANDORIAN UNIVERSITY. TORATORATORRES was overpowered by THE
FRATSFAN CHEF in a popular 2 minute uneven bout. Rumor has it (I love that phrase)
that the Chef is personally hosting an all-you-can-eat night at the Bash & Glug,
featuring his renowned torro-steak in mango sauce. You don't want to miss this, it
has all the signs of being a classic.
TOTURI (7-5051) (17-10-0,61) of CALL TO THUNDER fought ANGAR (10-4933) (15-15-
1,33) of WAR HAWKS. TOTURI was luckily beaten by ANGAR in an action packed 1 minute
fight. I don't know these guys, they never talk, so I have no crack to get the lever
of my curiosity into. Can't say a thing about 'em.
ANDAR (11-1038) (17-13-1,37) of U.B.O.S.M. fought SKI MASK (58-5869) (26-47-
0,57) of CIRQUE DU MASQUES. ANDAR subdued SKI MASK in a 2 minute gory match. Ah,
yes, I knew the Duck's win last time was a fluke. Or perhaps with a Duck, I should
say it was a feather or something.
GREASESPOT (60-5964) (23-29-0,96) of BUMS 'R' US fought GAR & BRILL (38-4252)
(17-17-0,73) of JUST BECAUSE. GREASESPOT was handily defeated by GAR & BRILL in a 1
minute mismatched melee. Hey, if Gar couldn't handle a little grease, it'd never
have made it to the Isle. Actually, I don't think Gar & Brill would even NOTICE
another spot of grease....
MISER (71-3793) (34-13-2,105) of SHADOW GOLD fought SILHOUETTE (26-2006) (22-5-
0,92) of MENAGERIE. MISER viciously subdued SILHOUETTE in a crowd pleasing 14 minute
brutal fight. Our longest fight. It would appear that Miser was totally unwilling
to give up the initiative (he said a few rude things about Silhouette at one point
for an attempt to steal it). And finally, he actually USED it and ended this truly
brutal match.
LIGHTNING (32-3932) (30-20-4,110) of HARBINGERS fought BLACK RHINO (71-1834)
(34-23-1,150) of EDGE OF EXTINCTION. LIGHTNING was devastated by BLACK RHINO in an
action packed 1 minute mismatched match. It would appear, from this, that Rhino is
not going extinct any time in the immediate future. Which is good, because I've
thought of a lot of uses for rhino horn, if there's enough of it.
BUDDERCUP (60-5967) (28-24-0,117) of BUMS 'R' US fought COM DOT (65-6217) (35-
20-0,140) of TOO GOOD FOR ME. BUDDERCUP was savagely defeated by COM DOT in an
action packed 2 minute battle. Don't tell me, Bud--he asked you to invest, promised
great profits, and when you went to collect, nobody was home....
JUGGLER (2-4965) (22-10-0,105) of HARLEQUINS fought TICKLES (9-3486) (34-52-
1,147) of MY PETS. JUGGLER overcame TICKLES in an exciting 2 minute duel. The
really exciting part was watching the winner juggle Tickles over his head at the end
of the fight. Along with a couple of swords, a magician's rabbit, and two raw eggs
(I know they were raw, because one got away). It was a tour de force.
HAPPY JACK (19-4086) (34-23-2,142) of THE MOTHERSHIP fought SPAZZ (33-6207) (33-
24-0,136) of SNOTZI'S II. HAPPY JACK was overpowered by SPAZZ in a crowd pleasing 1
minute one-sided duel. Correct me if I'm wrong, but does it seem like we've got a
lot of spazzes jerking and twitching around here?
KYLIE (18-6057) (21-17-1,130) of UNTOUCHABLES fought STARBUCK (6-5387) (23-14-
0,124) of SCIENCE FICTION. KYLIE was viciously subdued by STARBUCK in an action
packed 2 minute gory match. It would appear that Starbuck overcame his doubtless
natural resistance and actually did touch Kylie. So much for warning people off by
stating your untouchability, eh?
WAHOO (26-3916) (23-15-1,167) of HERE TO PHOENIX fought LOOMING BIRD (82-424)
(41-56-3,125) of YOU FEEL THAT! WAHOO handily defeated LOOMING BIRD in an exciting 1
minute one-sided fight. Obviously, merely looming is not enough.
ELLORIEN (9-4150) (23-12-0,164) of THE NIGHT'S WATCH fought JACK SPRAT (47-2954)
(43-51-4,121) of ROYAL FLUSH. ELLORIEN was demolished by JACK SPRAT in an exciting 1
minute mismatched match. Jack never eats at the Gar & Brill, of course, nor does he
associate with Greasespot. Just in case you wanted to know. But his wife is another
matter.
SAMWELL (9-4079) (29-9-1,160) of THE NIGHT'S WATCH fought X THE BOLD (10-16)
(52-48-1,132) of WAR HAWKS. SAMWELL won victory over X THE BOLD in a crowd pleasing
1 minute fight. X, you've got to do something about that big red X painted on your
breastplate. I realize that it's like signing your name or something, but people
take it wrong.
SIR CUITOUS (10-4514) (36-20-0,197) of SIR AGLIO fought SUNNY BRAE (53-5638)
(33-26-1,176) of PUERCO'S PINATA. SIR CUITOUS was savagely defeated by SUNNY BRAE in
an exciting 9 minute bloody fray. Do you know that they circled the arena twenty-
three times before bringing this fight to a battered end? I counted. Around and
around. Made me dizzy, but I'm determined.
ROLEX WATCH (32-3732) (39-28-0,200) of LUST MUPPETS fought NAIHREN (101-27) (0-
0-0,240) of Local Louts. ROLEX WATCH was demolished by NAIHREN in an exciting 1
minute brutal one-sided fight. Er, somebody forgot to warn you about Naihren, huh?
He's strongly anti-clock.
LUDO (18-708) (51-58-2,187) of THUNDR + LITENING fought WURP (10-18) (44-49-
1,193) of WAR HAWKS. LUDO won victory over WURP in a popular 4 minute brutal fray.
Using Rolaids, or maybe they were Tums. Or even backing soda might do it.
R'SHANN (20-577) (44-34-3,224) of OVERLORDS fought 50 SUCKS (60-4129) (49-30-
0,190) of JOKA MASHER! R'SHANN was defeated by 50 SUCKS in a 2 minute fight. It
would appear, from this, that 50 isn't so bad as all that. And you'll note that 50
now has fifty wins. Is this a sign of something?
EMERALD DRAGONFLY (60-2586) (58-58-2,225) of MAGICK fought ABOUT YOUR CAR...
(78-778) (97-132-6,185) of BAD NEWS. EMERALD DRAGONFLY handily defeated ABOUT YOUR
CAR... in a 2 minute mismatched bout. Rumor has it that this was in revenge for a
number of other dragonflies that met a gruesome and untimely end in the brill of this
gar, I mean car. You thought bugs didn't care? Think again!
And the challenge matches, indicating being a little over half way to the end,
always a good thing to see.
ROT TEN EGGS (47-3099) (28-31-0,75) of ROYAL FLUSH challenged FOREVER MAN (38-
4168) (26-40-0,53) of SANDS OF TIME. Down 18. ROT TEN EGGS savagely defeated
FOREVER MAN in an action packed 2 minute Challenge duel. Some people might say this
was rot-ten, but without knowing the inner history between these two warriors and
their managers, we just don't know. Judge not, and all that guff.
KOGITSUNE MARU (1-5298) (18-11-1,66) of SWEORDMASTERS challenged OURS ROUGE (3-
6049) (16-22-1,62) of THE REDBAERS. Down 4. KOGITSUNE MARU was overpowered by OURS
ROUGE in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout. Never wrestle a bear, red or
otherwise, on his terms.
PREACHER (7-5083) (18-8-2,68) of THRILLZ & KILLZ challenged CARRIE NATION (64-
4054) (31-63-0,70) of REFORMERS. Up 2. PREACHER overpowered CARRIE NATION in a 1
minute uneven Challenge fight. Was he drunk? Was SHE drunk? I've heard some rumors
that make me wonder about this font of teetotalism. Is it slander or the hidden
truth?
GLORY HOLE (98-870) (6-5-4,39) of SUPERIOR KILLS challenged FUNKY ELVIS (30-
2754) (15-12-0,55) of TRIP OUT. Up 16. GLORY HOLE was overpowered by FUNKY ELVIS in
a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight. No one can match the Blue Suede Shoes, and why
should you even try, eh? Get your hound dog to chew on them instead.
AVARICIOUS AVON (63-2388) (19-16-0,75) of TOMATO ENFORCER challenged XISS (11-
1305) (23-26-4,81) of U.B.O.S.M. Up 6. AVARICIOUS AVON devastated XISS in a 1
minute one-sided Challenge bout. Little did Xiss realize, when accepting a stuffed
tomato for lunch, that it could lead to this. Devastation! Enforced devastation.
And not only that, Avon picked Xiss' pocket. Hey, when you're avaricious to that
extent, you just can't help yourself.
PERFECT TEN (47-4218) (21-17-1,59) of ROYAL FLUSH challenged ISAWA TADAKA (7-
5093) (20-4-0,92) of CALL TO THUNDER. Up 33. PERFECT TEN was overpowered by ISAWA
TADAKA in a 2 minute uneven Challenge fray. So much for perfection, grade ten or
otherwise. May you have learned many skills, both of you.
FILI LIU (2-4968) (18-16-0,60) of RESURRECTION challenged MIGHTY MITE (82-13968)
(18-21-0,86) of VERMIN!! Up 26. FILI LIU savagely defeated MIGHTY MITE in an action
packed 2 minute Challenge fight. Hmm, either the Mite wasn't quite so Mighty, or
there was flea powder involved. Life can be very hard for a vermit.
GWYN AP NUDD (41-1210) (18-2-0,80) of CAER SIDHE challenged KOOKABURRA (33-4151)
(41-53-1,99) of GIRL SCOUT COOKIES. Up 19. GWYN AP NUDD overpowered KOOKABURRA in a
1 minute mismatched Challenge fight. Gwyn, the maintenance crew is looking for you.
I believe they've got some complaint about cookie crumbs in the sand. The crumbs are
drawing ants. Where is Crumbsnatcher when we need him?
FOUNTAINS OF WAYNE (98-809) (7-4-4,24) of COLLEGE RADIO challenged BABOO (74-
2711) (40-89-0,63) of WILD AMINALS. Up 39. FOUNTAINS OF WAYNE demolished BABOO in a
1 minute one-sided Challenge bout. This is, or should be, where Baboo looks terribly
embarrassed and retires to hide in a hollow tree. Or maybe it's supposed to be in a
tree-house. The notes are smudged.
MIME (2-4966) (20-11-3,100) of HARLEQUINS challenged NED THE JANITOR (66-2973)
(19-19-0,101) of ANDORIAN UNIVERSITY. Up 1. MIME devastated NED THE JANITOR in a 1
minute one-sided Challenge fight. I hadn't realized that janitors were so
suggestible, or maybe it's that Mime's gestures are so powerfully evocative, but he
(Mime) started doing this hand-semaphore thing, like someone directing traffic, and
Ned just swerved right into the arena wall.
CRUSADER LORD (31-3946) (32-21-3,98) of THE STORMGUARDS challenged SABLE (2-
4950) (25-11-2,99) of HARLEQUINS. Up 1. CRUSADER LORD viciously subdued SABLE in a
crowd pleasing 2 minute Challenge bout. And rumor has it that Crusader Lord is now
sporting a luxurious sable collar to his greatcoat, although who would wear a
greatcoat in this weather?
BURGER KING (47-4152) (28-20-2,124) of ROYAL FLUSH challenged PARADISE PARROT
(71-1735) (27-25-0,143) of EDGE OF EXTINCTION. Up 19. BURGER KING was vanquished by
PARADISE PARROT in a 2 minute mismatched Challenge bout. Being an obnoxious parrot
takes a lot of energy, and there was the burger, so.... I think I would have
described it as "demolished," though.
APPLE JACK (47-4011) (26-16-4,127) of ROYAL FLUSH challenged DELICE THE RED (56-
3401) (37-42-1,152) of BAD APPLES. Up 25. APPLE JACK overpowered DELICE THE RED in
a 1 minute mismatched Challenge conflict. This is some kind of symmetry, right? Or
as Debby would say, "summery." Do we look for apple cobbler here? Will romance
blossom, or is there a worm in the fruit. How many other metaphors can I mix, I
wonder?
VAL BEMERIKI (51-5018) (34-24-3,135) of GENOCIDE challenged BUBBLES (12-4981)
(23-38-1,116) of POWERPUFF GIRLS. Down 19. VAL BEMERIKI handily defeated BUBBLES in
a 1 minute one-sided Challenge contest. Bubbles and stuff like that--the concept, I
mean--is or maybe are too subtle for a genocider. "Handily defeated" is like she
squashed the bubbles with her hands, right? Some people like to do that.
JOE KING (47-2223) (27-42-0,133) of ROYAL FLUSH challenged QRAPPY (10-4761) (29-
46-1,129) of QUBIT. Down 4. JOE KING was demolished by QRAPPY in a 1 minute
mismatched Challenge match. I'd've called these two "well-matched," myself. Look at
thos records, after all.
TALOS (31-2069) (41-17-0,156) of THE STORMGUARDS challenged HOT HAZEL (98-608)
(16-22-4,164) of JUNKYARD WARS. Up 8. TALOS overcame HOT HAZEL in a popular 4
minute Challenge bout. Rumor has it that Hazel "lures them on." Any comments,
either of you? You had four hours, um, minutes out there to talk, and some of
Hazel's moves were, shall we say, very feminine.
STEVE MCQUEEN (47-3908) (28-30-1,161) of ROYAL FLUSH challenged HALLIE O'DENE
(58-6018) (38-54-0,134) of CIRQUE DU MASQUES. Down 27. STEVE MCQUEEN was vanquished
by HALLIE O'DENE in a 2 minute one-sided Challenge duel. Down-challenge and lose,
that's gotta be an ouchie.
THE RED SPARROW (60-5732) (19-9-1,159) of 4000 BLOWS challenged W.T. POOH (33-
4430) (54-39-0,153) of SNOTZI'S II. Down 6. THE RED SPARROW was unbelievably bested
by W.T. POOH in a 9 minute Challenge duel. Red got "most popular" this time for this
fight, and you know what that means! Crowd sympathy for a little bird, okay, not a
LITTLE bird, that spent nine minutes trying to fly while soaked with honey. That was
a sneaky move, W.T.
MUSILAR DE MITTEL (53-5753) (31-15-0,177) of PUERCO'S PINATA challenged MASHER
(60-4553) (31-32-3,180) of JOKA MASHER! Up 3. MUSILAR DE MITTEL handily defeated
MASHER in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight. No mashing today. I could tell you
more, but I don't think you're ready to hear it. Or maybe I'm not ready to invent
it. Er, report it, I mean.
STELLA BLUE (53-6167) (24-13-1,192) of PUERCO'S PINATA challenged CAFFIENE
ACHIEVER (15-2429) (35-37-4,206) of DRAKE'S BAR-B-Q. Up 14. STELLA BLUE vanquished
CAFFIENE ACHIEVER in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight. Rumor has it, good ol'
rumor, that Stella has some connection with a tequila factory (you haven't heard of
Blue Star Tequila? tsk), and simply laughs at caffiene. I don't laugh at caffiene,
it makes stuff taste string, I mean, strong, but what do I care? It doesn't keep ME
awake at nights, on account of me being dead. There are advantages to that, you
know.
STRONGEST #3 (40-173) (44-85-1,189) of SOLARAN BERSERK challenged SPAZ GHOST
(47-4161) (38-18-1,206) of DRAKE'S COMICS. Up 17. STRONGEST #3 was overpowered by
SPAZ GHOST in a 3 minute one-sided Challenge fight. Another Spazz. Does having only
one Z mean this one is more or less twitchy than the two-Z versions? Twozey, doozey.
Maybe I should have some more coffee.
PRIMUS (21-4975) (32-11-0,195) of REAL BEER challenged DIRT WORM (82-2315) (52-
23-0,196) of VERMIN!! Up 1. PRIMUS savagely defeated DIRT WORM in a crowd pleasing
9 minute bloody Challenge duel. Primus, the maintenance crew is looking for you.
Something about all the worm innards that got stamped into the sands. They seem
annoyed.
Our sole TV challenge: UU DOEWANAKNO (73-1414) (20-5-1,173) of DRAKE'S LODGE TV
challenged SORROW (1-2863) (28-22-2,195) of SWEORDMASTERS. Up 22. UU DOEWANAKNO was
bested by SORROW in a crowd pleasing 2 minute Challenge fight. Ouch! Was this a
Freshmen TV? Just curious. Coulda been Champs, I suppose.
And for the title: BEAUTY QUEEN (47-3352) (32-33-3,220) of ROYAL FLUSH
challenged KAIDEN (35-3108) (71-73-2,291) of VIOLENT FEMS. Up 71. BEAUTY QUEEN was
vanquished by KAIDEN in a 1 minute uneven Challenge Title battle. Queenie, I salute
you for making the attempt. And, uh, I salute Kaiden for victory, but I'll do that
from a distance, if y'all don't mind. She's too violent for me.
Olaf Modeen
CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
KAIDEN 35-3108 72 73 2 302 VIOLENT FEMS (972) MURSKA
GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
EMERALD DRAGONFLY 60-2586 59 58 2 234 MAGICK (955) ARADI
PRIMUS 21-4975 33 11 0 219 REAL BEER (1116) SUNSET
SPAZ GHOST 47-4161 39 18 1 216 DRAKE'S COMICS (1112) NORTH FORK
GRAND CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
STELLA BLUE 53-6167 25 13 1 209 PUERCO'S PINATA (700) KHALHUMS
50 SUCKS 60-4129 50 30 0 206 JOKA MASHER! (833) ARADI
SUNNY BRAE 53-5638 34 26 1 203 PUERCO'S PINATA (700) KHALHUMS
SORROW 1-2863 29 22 2 203 SWEORDMASTERS (1210) MORDANT
DIRT WORM 82-2315 52 24 0 197 VERMIN!! (1124) DWES EG
LUDO 18-708 52 58 2 196 THUNDR + LITENING (222) TALCAMA
R'SHANN 20-577 44 35 3 196 OVERLORDS (30) SEAM
ROLEX WATCH 32-3732 39 29 0 190 LUST MUPPETS (1099) ARVAT
BEAUTY QUEEN 47-3352 32 34 3 190 ROYAL FLUSH (146) NORTH FORK
MUSILAR DE MITTEL 53-5753 32 15 0 190 PUERCO'S PINATA (700) KHALHUMS
CAFFIENE ACHIEVER 15-2429 35 38 4 189 DRAKE'S BAR-B-Q (313) MALCORN
STRONGEST #3 40-173 44 86 1 188 SOLARAN BERSERK (949) ZENSU
WURP 10-18 44 50 1 188 WAR HAWKS (1026) KOLACT
SIR CUITOUS 10-4514 36 21 0 186 SIR AGLIO (788) KOLACT
-OBSESSED AVENGER 15-2162 38 38 1 184 DRAKE'S BAR-B-Q (313) MALCORN
GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
ABOUT YOUR CAR... 78-778 97 133 6 179 BAD NEWS (640) LIN TIRIAN
UU DOEWANAKNO 73-1414 20 6 1 179 DRAKE'S LODGE (1206) ERINIKA
MASHER 60-4553 31 33 3 172 JOKA MASHER! (833) ARADI
WAHOO 26-3916 24 15 1 169 HERE TO PHOENIX (1072) CALEAM
W.T. POOH 33-4430 55 39 0 167 SNOTZI'S II (813) NIYTYOLE ISLAND
TALOS 31-2069 42 17 0 166 THE STORMGUARDS (132) CHIMLEVTAL
HOT HAZEL 98-608 16 23 4 164 JUNKYARD WARS (1140) SYVYN'S HILL
SAMWELL 9-4079 30 9 1 162 THE NIGHT'S WATCH (787) ZUKAL
HALLIE O'DENE 58-6018 39 54 0 161 CIRQUE DU MASQUES (1093) DELARQ TOR
JACK SPRAT 47-2954 44 51 4 160 ROYAL FLUSH (146) NORTH FORK
SPAZZ 33-6207 34 24 0 158 SNOTZI'S II (813) NIYTYOLE ISLAND
THE RED SPARROW 60-5732 19 10 1 158 4000 BLOWS (1107) ARADI
BLACK RHINO 71-1834 35 23 1 156 EDGE OF EXTINCTION (973) KYR'TERR
PARADISE PARROT 71-1735 28 25 0 153 EDGE OF EXTINCTION (973) KYR'TERR
APPLE JACK 47-4011 27 16 4 151 ROYAL FLUSH (146) NORTH FORK
GRAND ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
COM DOT 65-6217 36 20 0 144 TOO GOOD FOR ME (1054) DAL SHANG
-NIGHTSHADE 29-3773 20 12 0 142 THE TAKEN (350) LAPUR
VAL BEMERIKI 51-5018 35 24 3 141 GENOCIDE (1109) TRICORUS
QRAPPY 10-4761 30 46 1 141 QUBIT (1136) KOLACT
X THE BOLD 10-16 52 49 1 140 WAR HAWKS (1026) KOLACT
STEVE MCQUEEN 47-3908 28 31 1 137 ROYAL FLUSH (146) NORTH FORK
STARBUCK 6-5387 24 14 0 137 SCIENCE FICTION (1152) TRANSEL
GRAND ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
DELICE THE RED 56-3401 37 43 1 132 BAD APPLES (1091) ROCANIS
HAPPY JACK 19-4086 34 24 2 132 THE MOTHERSHIP (1148) ZUWAYZA
ELLORIEN 9-4150 23 13 0 132 THE NIGHT'S WATCH (787) ZUKAL
JUGGLER 2-4965 23 10 0 132 HARLEQUINS (1186) NIANIA
LOOMING BIRD 82-424 41 57 3 128 YOU FEEL THAT! (1205) DWES EG
TICKLES 9-3486 34 53 1 127 MY PETS (554) ZUKAL
KYLIE 18-6057 21 18 1 125 UNTOUCHABLES (1190) TALCAMA
BURGER KING 47-4152 28 21 2 123 ROYAL FLUSH (146) NORTH FORK
BUDDERCUP 60-5967 28 25 0 122 BUMS 'R' US (1142) ARADI
JOE KING 47-2223 27 43 0 121 ROYAL FLUSH (146) NORTH FORK
MISER 71-3793 35 13 2 116 SHADOW GOLD (1143) KYR'TERR
CRUSADER LORD 31-3946 33 21 3 114 THE STORMGUARDS (132) CHIMLEVTAL
BUBBLES 12-4981 23 39 1 114 POWERPUFF GIRLS (1145) RIZTAB
LIGHTNING 32-3932 30 21 4 113 HARBINGERS (1226) ARVAT
MIME 2-4966 21 11 3 111 HARLEQUINS (1186) NIANIA
-QUEEN AMAZONIA 12-4796 30 36 1 107 DARKMOON (1197) RIZTAB
-TRIDENT 29-3767 26 7 0 105 THE TAKEN (350) LAPUR
GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
GWYN AP NUDD 41-1210 19 2 0 100 CAER SIDHE (1218) KATI-TEI
SILHOUETTE 26-2006 22 6 0 99 MENAGERIE (1137) CALEAM
ISAWA TADAKA 7-5093 21 4 0 97 CALL TO THUNDER (1217) BONSUR
SABLE 2-4950 25 12 2 96 HARLEQUINS (1186) NIANIA
GAR & BRILL 38-4252 18 17 0 95 JUST BECAUSE (1228) CLIFFHOME
AVALANCHE 75-2213 15 3 1 94 FORCE OF NATURE (747) JADE MOUNTAIN
NED THE JANITOR 66-2973 19 20 0 93 ANDORIAN UNIVERSITY (1123) TARRGIR
TSUNAMI 75-2214 18 2 1 92 FORCE OF NATURE (747) JADE MOUNTAIN
GRAND INITIATES W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
SULTAN 10-4516 26 8 0 89 SIR AGLIO (788) KOLACT
AVARICIOUS AVON 63-2388 20 16 0 88 TOMATO ENFORCER (1193) AMEN-TEI
BEER GOGGLES 33-6819 20 15 1 86 JOYS OF BOOZE (1209) NIYTYOLE ISLAND
MEN IN BLACK 49-3157 43 89 1 85 RPG'S (697) VITHICAR
KOOKABURRA 33-4151 41 54 1 83 GIRL SCOUT COOKIES (812) NIYTYOLE ISLAND
THE FRATSFAN CHEF 30-4385 16 5 0 83 ANDORIAN UNIVERSITY (1213) IAYE
NEVERMORE 1-5260 19 19 2 81 LAB EXPERIMENTS (1207) MORDANT
FILI LIU 2-4968 19 16 0 81 RESURRECTION (1065) NIANIA
SOUL SCOURGE 25-1223 18 8 2 81 THE ILLUMINATI (1179) LYRATILAN
PREACHER 7-5083 19 8 2 79 THRILLZ & KILLZ (1211) BONSUR
OURS ROUGE 3-6049 17 22 1 79 THE REDBAERS (1180) OSKSI
KATANA 62-3769 10 11 0 78 SAMURAI KIDS II (1182) VALAMANTIS
ROT TEN EGGS 47-3099 29 31 0 77 ROYAL FLUSH (146) NORTH FORK
-GATECRASHER 60-6075 20 14 1 75 CLUB CULTURE (1230) ARADI
-SPRING SHOE 30-4178 19 23 2 75 CARNIVAL (1130) IAYE
KANDY KANES 19-4329 17 8 0 75 CARNIVAL (95) ZUWAYZA
GREASESPOT 60-5964 23 30 0 74 BUMS 'R' US (1142) ARADI
-SNOWMAN 29-3460 20 20 1 71 THE TAKEN (350) LAPUR
-NASTY NITTERS 63-2383 17 21 2 70 TOMATO ENFORCER (1193) AMEN-TEI
NO CHASER 33-6490 26 20 0 69 JOYS OF BOOZE (1209) NIYTYOLE ISLAND
XISS 11-1305 23 27 4 69 U.B.O.S.M. (1184) ARUAK CITY
MIGHTY MITE 82-13968 18 22 0 69 VERMIN!! (1124) DWES EG
TUTANKHAMUN 71-3357 15 8 0 68 CARTOUCHE (1111) KYR'TERR
-PHISH BAIT 30-3761 18 9 1 64 TRIP OUT (1216) IAYE
-JARRAC 72-5294 16 13 2 63 FREELANCERS (1232) DRAGONHEAD
CARRIE NATION 64-4054 31 64 0 62 REFORMERS (1095) KURUKAR
LUNA TYCK 33-5761 28 30 1 62 DRAKE'S PETTING ZOO (1075) NIYTYOLE ISLAND
SIR VILE 10-4754 18 13 0 62 SIR AGLIO (788) KOLACT
FUNKY ELVIS 30-2754 16 12 0 62 TRIP OUT (1216) IAYE
-RADIENCE 9-4004 22 17 3 61 RED FURY (786) ZUKAL
PERFECT TEN 47-4218 21 18 1 61 ROYAL FLUSH (146) NORTH FORK
-NUTMEG 7-5167 16 9 1 58 SUGAR AND SPICE (1231) BONSUR
ANGAR 10-4933 16 15 1 57 WAR HAWKS (1026) KOLACT
FOUNTAINS OF WAYNE 98-809 8 4 4 55 COLLEGE RADIO (1223) SYVYN'S HILL
GRAND INITIATES W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
FOREVER MAN 38-4168 26 41 0 54 SANDS OF TIME (1195) CLIFFHOME
KOGITSUNE MARU 1-5298 18 12 1 54 SWEORDMASTERS (1210) MORDANT
ANDAR 11-1038 18 13 1 53 U.B.O.S.M. (1184) ARUAK CITY
ODEN WARFIEND 11-1335 23 20 2 52 U.B.O.S.M. (1184) ARUAK CITY
-CIARAN 1-7176 15 6 1 52 MANNEQUIN'S BEST (1227) MORDANT
TORATORATORRES 11-726 21 21 0 51 U.B.O.S.M. (1184) ARUAK CITY
BAYUSHI KACHIKO 7-5235 17 5 0 51 CALL TO THUNDER (1217) BONSUR
LYTA ALEXANDER 65-5021 9 6 0 48 AND SO IT BEGINS (1062) DAL SHANG
MOD COD 55-2638 37 71 1 47 RHYME TYME (449) KHALANI
-CROW 60-6269 12 6 0 47 SHADOW SIGNS (1220) ARADI
-ONE A DAY 98-799 10 2 3 45 MY DRUGS (1222) SYVYN'S HILL
SKI MASK 58-5869 26 48 0 44 CIRQUE DU MASQUES (1093) DELARQ TOR
TOTURI 7-5051 17 11 0 43 CALL TO THUNDER (1217) BONSUR
LETHE 9-4782 23 18 2 38 BLUE MOON (1025) ZUKAL
-ROGAN 97-980 5 11 4 35 BLIND LUCK (1183) SHADOW GROVE
BABOO 74-2711 40 90 0 34 WILD AMINALS (635) DAIYLA KIV
GLORY HOLE 98-870 6 6 4 34 SUPERIOR KILLS (1229) SYVYN'S HILL
MUMMY 99-853 7 5 5 29 IKER'S CORPSES (1225) SOUTH RIDGE
'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.
THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN
PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE
Fountains of Wayne -- Foolish Golem, to think you could defeat ME, a superior being,
a DUCK. You will note that the golem-makers never presume to attempt a DUCK golem,
because they simply haven't the skill. Mammalian forms are more primitive, simpler.
Less worthy. -- Ski Mask, Founder and President Ducks with Swords
I think it's because no one WANTS a duck golem. It's a market economy, after
all. -- Ed.
How about duck decoys?
Tickles -- I wish that your unsuitability to your weapon (marginally effective, it
says here) had more effect on your fighting. Alas. -- Hallie O'Dene
Spazz -- When you can stand without twitching, I MIGHT consider a date with you. Not
before. -- Delice the Red
Xiss -- I know your secret--your team name means "Under Bottles Of Strong Moonshine"!
You DRUNKARD! -- Carrie Nation
Umbrellas do nothing to mitigate drunkenness. -- Carrie Nation
Gar & Brill -- Too greasy for me. Ick. -- Lethe
P.S. That was brilled troll? No wonder it was so vile!
Drake -- Excellent challenge. I know your style now. Well done! -- #3
Phetmolge -- The lingering stench of your malignant spore is fit ambiance only for a
murder. -- #3
Eh? Phetmolge doesn't read this newsletter, you know.
50 -- Sorry, suckboy. I am stuck on Pooh...for now! -- #3
29 July 2003
* * * *The Third Annual Turf War* * * *
Yes, it's time again for alliances to go to war! TW3 will be held in DM 47
(North Fork) at a date to be specified later--right after Crip's Incomprehensible
Contest is over...but I'm sure everyone wants to get their teams there soon! Here
are the rules:
1. Each alliance must have a leader declare the arrival of his alliance. The leader
will be responsible for verifying any and all teams/managers who declare to the
alliance he/she is leading.
2. Each manager, team declaring for the contest must have approval of the leader,
donate one Roll-up Certificate ($5) to the prize pot (send it to me by diplo, by
snail, or a note to customer service), and declare his/her team by diplo, p-ad or
snail.
3. Each team may declare one warrior as champion. All points scored by a champ are
double!
4. Prizes are as follows (mostly...there WILL be some things added as the prize pot
grows with entry donations--this list is not final!)
* Highest scoring alliance -- Rename Arena 47 for a period of 6 months, one half
of the total prize pot donated; roll-up certs.
* The Alliance with the most returns from the DA will get to re-name the DA
monsters for a period of 6 months.
* The alliance with the most warriors listed as style masters will get to pick
the Alastari city/arena to host the next Grand Tournament.
* The warrior with the most front page honors/awards will have the Arenamaster
named after him for a period of 6 months.
* The Alliance with the most front page Honors/Awards will have the honor of
picking the *slow* arena to host the Fifth Annual Turf War.
* The team with the most listings as Style Master will find out the favorites of
one of their warriors.
* The warrior with the most listings as Style Master will fight at my expense
for five turns (I will transfer to the manager's account).
* The Alliance with the most kills will be able to re-name the stand-in warriors
for a period of 6 months.
* The warrior that scores the most total points will fight at my expense for 5
turns (I will transfer $7.50 to the manager's account).
* The team that scores the most total points will receive an extra share of
roll-up certs from the prize pot.
There may be more categories to come, and the prize pot still has to be
divided...I'm open to category/prize ideas--and further donations to the prize pot.
The contest will run for *TEN* turns; prizes will be awarded at the end of the
11th turn.
Scoring will be as follows:
* 5 points per fight, doubled for each of the following conditions met:
-- Two Alliance -- Champion
-- Challenge -- Two Champions
-- Bloodfeud -- Challenger losing
-- Kill
(Note: DA losses are exempt, but DA wins will be *tripled*!!! Ex: Happy
Slasher goes to the DA and dies, no points are lost. If he wins, his team scores 60
points! If he was a champ, he scores 120 points!)
Use the following chart to calculate scores:
Conditions Met: 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Points Per Fight: 5 10 20 40 80 160 320 640
* Awards/Honors and Style Masters will each be awarded points also. Find the total
number of each (do note add Awards and Style Masters together) and consult the graph
below. Champs that score an award or style master count as two.
1 -- 5 7 -- 320
2 -- 10 8 -- 640
3 -- 20 9 -- 1280
4 -- 40 10 -- 2560
5 -- 80 11 -- 5280
6 -- 100 (x2 for each extra)
Note -- These categories *count as "triple"*--they will be figured for each team,
*AND* again for each alliance *as well as* for each warrior!
* Each and every mention in the Spy Report is worth 5 points...period.
* TVs will be scored on the same scale as Awards/Style Masters, but the total points
will be x10. TC's will be scored as TV's, but x10 more.
Number of TV/TC's Points Scored (TV/TC)
1 50/ 500
2 100/1000
3 200/2000
4 400/4000
+ x2/ x2 (for each extra)
Each alliance will start with 5000 points, scores for *fights* will be added to
the winner's total *AND* deducted from the losers.
Come one and all, defend your turf and the honor of your alliance...or your
own!
Asmo Dius, TCB
Arenas, DM 47, DM 73
1 August 2003
Assurnasirbanipal invites you to Talcama to participate in the third BATTLE
ROYAL contest. It is a Delarquan contest so brutal that even some of Talcama's most
notable managers will refuse to participate. The rules are simpler than any other
contest: You may not avoid any other contest team. There are no silly rules for who
can and can't compete. Any team in Talcama is eligible to compete. The scoring is
also quite simple (+1 for a win, +1 for a kill (+1 for the win), -1 for a loss) and
the first team to reach 25 points is the winner.
Scoring will be live--the results for the turn posted in the newsletter. The
winner will be able to fight their contest team in Talcama for free for 6 months but
more importantly will win a contest against some of the best managers who play the
game in one of the hardest contests in the game.
First turn for BATTLE ROYAL 3 is Talcama Turn 465, which is due August 30.
19 August 2003
Citizens of Ghea (only the ignorant fail to note Lirith Kai is not in Alastari),
no new day is rising, but the sun is setting on just another beautiful evening.
While you were sleeping, an irksome rabble has entered the always fair Aruak City.
Of course they fought alongside our warriors, most not so treasured, as all
gladiators do. They drank with themselves, and slept with themselves. Whether they
had masks, who cares.
Warriors, don't be afraid. For years Aruak has been one of the safest cities in
Ghea, and that custom has been continually cultivated, and will continue to be by
those who have called it home for years and those who live, fight, and die by the
same ethics. There is no contest, nor has there ever needed to be one for many
years. A conflict of personalities has arisen, and the city has been 'invaded' by
pests.
Any rules that are annouced will be purely for the joy of the lemmings' own
little world. Those who are being targeted have no interest in participating except
to defend the integrity of an arena that is different from others. Whether you
choose to come to Aruak, do it for your own reasons, not theirs.
Competing in Aruak City has never been for the faint of heart or the weak willed.
Combat is combat, wherever you go. Blood will flow as always, and now many innocents
will be caught in the middle, but those who defend Aruak's traditions never target
those who bring respect of Aruaki customs with them to our home.
So ignore the private ranting announcement brought by the stuporous
Frothingsloshers. If you choose Aruak City, do not choose it for an unsanctioned and
bogus 'contest', choose it for the tradition. Choose it because Aruak is different.
Defenders of Aruak
25 August 2003
To any that care -- The CDC is back; our current roster is:
Malaquar -- Minion of Guardian
Pip the Troll -- Burly Enforcer Type
mouse -- Official Sneaky Bastard
Papa Bear -- Elder Statesmen
The Sealer says, "Hi, I'm the dealer."
Papa Bear says, "It's not my f****n fault."
Guardian -- Paper Figurehead
LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS
UU DOEWANAKNO was bested by SORROW in a crowd pleasing 2 minute Challenge fight.
BEAUTY QUEEN was vanquished by KAIDEN in a 1 minute uneven Challenge Title battle.
PRIMUS savagely defeated DIRT WORM in a crowd pleasing 9 minute bloody Challenge duel.
STRONGEST #3 was overpowered by SPAZ GHOST in a 3 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
STELLA BLUE vanquished CAFFIENE ACHIEVER in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
MUSILAR DE MITTEL handily defeated MASHER in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
THE RED SPARROW was unbelievably bested by W.T. POOH in a 9 minute Challenge duel.
STEVE MCQUEEN was vanquished by HALLIE O'DENE in a 2 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
TALOS overcame HOT HAZEL in a popular 4 minute Challenge bout.
JOE KING was demolished by QRAPPY in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge match.
VAL BEMERIKI handily defeated BUBBLES in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge contest.
APPLE JACK overpowered DELICE THE RED in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge conflict.
BURGER KING was vanquished by PARADISE PARROT in a 2 minute mismatched Challenge bout.
CRUSADER LORD viciously subdued SABLE in a crowd pleasing 2 minute Challenge bout.
MIME devastated NED THE JANITOR in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
FOUNTAINS OF WAYNE demolished BABOO in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
GWYN AP NUDD overpowered KOOKABURRA in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
FILI LIU savagely defeated MIGHTY MITE in a action packed 2 minute Challenge fight.
PERFECT TEN was overpowered by ISAWA TADAKA in a 2 minute uneven Challenge fray.
AVARICIOUS AVON devastated XISS in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
GLORY HOLE was overpowered by FUNKY ELVIS in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
PREACHER overpowered CARRIE NATION in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
KOGITSUNE MARU was overpowered by OURS ROUGE in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
ROT TEN EGGS savagely defeated FOREVER MAN in a action packed 2 minute Challenge duel.
EMERALD DRAGONFLY handily defeated ABOUT YOUR CAR... in a 2 minute mismatched bout.
R'SHANN was defeated by 50 SUCKS in a 2 minute fight.
LUDO won victory over WURP in a popular 4 minute brutal fray.
ROLEX WATCH was demolished by NAIHREN in a exciting 1 minute brutal one-sided fight.
SIR CUITOUS was savagely defeated by SUNNY BRAE in a exciting 9 minute bloody fray.
SAMWELL won victory over X THE BOLD in a crowd pleasing 1 minute fight.
ELLORIEN was demolished by JACK SPRAT in a exciting 1 minute mismatched match.
WAHOO handily defeated LOOMING BIRD in a exciting 1 minute one-sided fight.
KYLIE was viciously subdued by STARBUCK in a action packed 2 minute gory match.
HAPPY JACK was overpowered by SPAZZ in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided duel.
JUGGLER overcame TICKLES in a exciting 2 minute duel.
BUDDERCUP was savagely defeated by COM DOT in a action packed 2 minute battle.
LIGHTNING was devastated by BLACK RHINO in a action packed 1 minute mismatched match.
MISER viciously subdued SILHOUETTE in a crowd pleasing 14 minute brutal fight.
GREASESPOT was handily defeated by GAR & BRILL in a 1 minute mismatched melee.
ANDAR subdued SKI MASK in a 2 minute gory match.
TOTURI was luckily beaten by ANGAR in a action packed 1 minute fight.
TORATORATORRES was overpowered by THE FRATSFAN CHEF in a popular 2 minute uneven bout.
MUMMY was vanquished by SULTAN in a 1 minute one-sided match.
TSUNAMI handily defeated B&G BOUNCER in a exciting 1 minute gory one-sided bout.
AVALANCHE overpowered NO CHASER in a crowd pleasing 1 minute mismatched conflict.
TUTANKHAMUN was beaten by SOUL SCOURGE in a exciting 1 minute struggle.
LYTA ALEXANDER was narrowly defeated by LUNA TYCK in a popular 4 minute brawl.
ODEN WARFIEND was devastated by KATANA in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided match.
BEER GOGGLES overpowered BAYUSHI KACHIKO in a crowd pleasing 1 minute uneven bout.
SIR VILE was savagely defeated by KANDY KANES in a 2 minute bloody fight.
MOD COD was viciously subdued by MEN IN BLACK in a exciting 2 minute brutal contest.
NEVERMORE overpowered LETHE in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided duel.
BATTLE REPORT
MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS
|FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK 24 PARRY-LUNGE 27 - 20 - 0 57 |
|STRIKING ATTACK 16 WALL OF STEEL 69 - 55 - 0 56 |
|WALL OF STEEL 15 TOTAL PARRY 53 - 44 - 0 55 |
|BASHING ATTACK 13 LUNGING ATTACK 93 - 81 - 1 53 |
|TOTAL PARRY 10 PARRY-STRIKE 26 - 23 - 0 53 |
|SLASHING ATTACK 7 SLASHING ATTACK 25 - 25 - 2 50 |
|PARRY-LUNGE 6 PARRY-RIPOSTE 5 - 6 - 0 45 |
|AIMED BLOW 5 STRIKING ATTACK 54 - 66 - 1 45 |
|PARRY-STRIKE 4 BASHING ATTACK 48 - 72 - 0 40 |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE 2 AIMED BLOW 14 - 26 - 0 35 |
Turn 357 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are:
PARRY-LUNGE 6 - 0 BASHING ATTACK 6 - 7 3 LUNGING ATTACK
TOTAL PARRY 7 - 3 SLASHING ATTACK 3 - 4 3 TOTAL PARRY
LUNGING ATTACK 13 - 11 AIMED BLOW 2 - 3 2 WALL OF STEEL
PARRY-STRIKE 2 - 2 WALL OF STEEL 6 - 9 2 PARRY-STRIKE
PARRY-RIPOSTE 1 - 1 STRIKING ATTACK 5 - 11 1 SLASHING ATTACK
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE
FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME
LUNGING ATTACK KAIDEN 35-3108 72 73 2 302 VIOLENT FEMS (972)
SLASHING ATTACK EMERALD DRAGONFLY 60-2586 59 58 2 234 MAGICK (955)
WALL OF STEEL PRIMUS 21-4975 33 11 0 219 REAL BEER (1116)
TOTAL PARRY SPAZ GHOST 47-4161 39 18 1 216 DRAKE'S COMICS (1112)
PARRY-STRIKE LUDO 18-708 52 58 2 196 THUNDR + LITENING (222)
STRIKING ATTACK BEAUTY QUEEN 47-3352 32 34 3 190 ROYAL FLUSH (146)
BASHING ATTACK ABOUT YOUR CAR... 78-778 97 133 6 179 BAD NEWS (640)
AIMED BLOW HALLIE O'DENE 58-6018 39 54 0 161 CIRQUE DU MASQUES (1093)
PARRY-LUNGE PARADISE PARROT 71-1735 28 25 0 153 EDGE OF EXTINCTION (973)
PARRY-RIPOSTE GWYN AP NUDD 41-1210 19 2 0 100 CAER SIDHE (1218)
The overall popularity leader is ABOUT YOUR CAR... 78-778. The most popular warrior
this turn was THE RED SPARROW 60-5732. The ten other most popular fighters were
SILHOUETTE 26-2006, SUNNY BRAE 53-5638, STARBUCK 6-5387, LYTA ALEXANDER 65-5021, HOT
HAZEL 98-608, PRIMUS 21-4975, SIR CUITOUS 10-4514, HALLIE O'DENE 58-6018, FILI LIU
2-4968, and CRUSADER LORD 31-3946.
The least popular fighter this week was LETHE 9-4782. The other ten least popular
fighters were MUMMY 99-853, GREASESPOT 60-5964, KOGITSUNE MARU 1-5298, CARRIE NATION
64-4054, GLORY HOLE 98-870, XISS 11-1305, BABOO 74-2711, NED THE JANITOR 66-2973, NO
CHASER 33-6490, and TORATORATORRES 11-726.
Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K
MORDANT(1) 2 1 0 CALEAM(26) 1 1 0 DELARQ TOR(58) 1 1 0
NIANIA(2) 3 1 0 IAYE(30) 2 0 0 ARADI(60) 2 4 0
OSKSI(3) 1 0 0 CHIMLEVTAL(31) 2 0 0 VALAMANTIS(62) 1 0 0
TRANSEL(6) 1 0 0 ARVAT(32) 0 2 0 AMEN-TEI(63) 1 0 0
BONSUR(7) 2 2 0 NIYTYOLE ISLAND(33) 4 2 0 KURUKAR(64) 0 1 0
ZUKAL(9) 1 3 0 MURSKA(35) 1 0 0 DAL SHANG(65) 1 1 0
KOLACT(10) 3 4 0 CLIFFHOME(38) 1 1 0 TARRGIR(66) 0 1 0
ARUAK CITY(11) 1 3 0 ZENSU(40) 0 1 0 KYR'TERR(71) 3 1 0
RIZTAB(12) 0 1 0 KATI-TEI(41) 1 0 0 ERINIKA(73) 0 1 0
MALCORN(15) 0 1 0 NORTH FORK(47) 4 5 0 DAIYLA KIV(74) 0 1 0
TALCAMA(18) 1 1 0 VITHICAR(49) 1 0 0 JADE MOUNTAIN(75) 2 0 0
ZUWAYZA(19) 1 1 0 TRICORUS(51) 1 0 0 LIN TIRIAN(78) 0 1 0
SEAM(20) 0 1 0 KHALHUMS(53) 3 0 0 DWES EG(82) 0 3 0
SUNSET(21) 1 0 0 KHALANI(55) 0 1 0 SYVYN'S HILL(98) 1 2 0
LYRATILAN(25) 1 0 0 ROCANIS(56) 0 1 0 SOUTH RIDGE(99) 0 1 0
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
SORROW 1-2863 29 22 2 203 SWEORDMASTERS (1210) MORDANT
JUGGLER 2-4965 23 10 0 132 HARLEQUINS (1186) NIANIA
OURS ROUGE 3-6049 17 22 1 79 THE REDBAERS (1180) OSKSI
STARBUCK 6-5387 24 14 0 137 SCIENCE FICTION (1152) TRANSEL
ISAWA TADAKA 7-5093 21 4 0 97 CALL TO THUNDER (1217) BONSUR
SAMWELL 9-4079 30 9 1 162 THE NIGHT'S WATCH (787) ZUKAL
WURP 10-18 44 50 1 188 WAR HAWKS (1026) KOLACT
XISS 11-1305 23 27 4 69 U.B.O.S.M. (1184) ARUAK CITY
BUBBLES 12-4981 23 39 1 114 POWERPUFF GIRLS (1145) RIZTAB
CAFFIENE ACHIEVER 15-2429 35 38 4 189 DRAKE'S BAR-B-Q (313) MALCORN
LUDO 18-708 52 58 2 196 THUNDR + LITENING (222) TALCAMA
HAPPY JACK 19-4086 34 24 2 132 THE MOTHERSHIP (1148) ZUWAYZA
R'SHANN 20-577 44 35 3 196 OVERLORDS (30) SEAM
PRIMUS 21-4975 33 11 0 219 REAL BEER (1116) SUNSET
SOUL SCOURGE 25-1223 18 8 2 81 THE ILLUMINATI (1179) LYRATILAN
WAHOO 26-3916 24 15 1 169 HERE TO PHOENIX (1072) CALEAM
THE FRATSFAN CHEF 30-4385 16 5 0 83 ANDORIAN UNIVERSITY (1213) IAYE
TALOS 31-2069 42 17 0 166 THE STORMGUARDS (132) CHIMLEVTAL
ROLEX WATCH 32-3732 39 29 0 190 LUST MUPPETS (1099) ARVAT
W.T. POOH 33-4430 55 39 0 167 SNOTZI'S II (813) NIYTYOLE ISLAND
KAIDEN 35-3108 72 73 2 302 VIOLENT FEMS (972) MURSKA
GAR & BRILL 38-4252 18 17 0 95 JUST BECAUSE (1228) CLIFFHOME
STRONGEST #3 40-173 44 86 1 188 SOLARAN BERSERK (949) ZENSU
GWYN AP NUDD 41-1210 19 2 0 100 CAER SIDHE (1218) KATI-TEI
SPAZ GHOST 47-4161 39 18 1 216 DRAKE'S COMICS (1112) NORTH FORK
MEN IN BLACK 49-3157 43 89 1 85 RPG'S (697) VITHICAR
VAL BEMERIKI 51-5018 35 24 3 141 GENOCIDE (1109) TRICORUS
STELLA BLUE 53-6167 25 13 1 209 PUERCO'S PINATA (700) KHALHUMS
MOD COD 55-2638 37 71 1 47 RHYME TYME (449) KHALANI
DELICE THE RED 56-3401 37 43 1 132 BAD APPLES (1091) ROCANIS
HALLIE O'DENE 58-6018 39 54 0 161 CIRQUE DU MASQUES (1093) DELARQ TOR
EMERALD DRAGONFLY 60-2586 59 58 2 234 MAGICK (955) ARADI
KATANA 62-3769 10 11 0 78 SAMURAI KIDS II (1182) VALAMANTIS
AVARICIOUS AVON 63-2388 20 16 0 88 TOMATO ENFORCER (1193) AMEN-TEI
CARRIE NATION 64-4054 31 64 0 62 REFORMERS (1095) KURUKAR
COM DOT 65-6217 36 20 0 144 TOO GOOD FOR ME (1054) DAL SHANG
NED THE JANITOR 66-2973 19 20 0 93 ANDORIAN UNIVERSITY (1123) TARRGIR
BLACK RHINO 71-1834 35 23 1 156 EDGE OF EXTINCTION (973) KYR'TERR
UU DOEWANAKNO 73-1414 20 6 1 179 DRAKE'S LODGE (1206) ERINIKA
BABOO 74-2711 40 90 0 34 WILD AMINALS (635) DAIYLA KIV
AVALANCHE 75-2213 15 3 1 94 FORCE OF NATURE (747) JADE MOUNTAIN
ABOUT YOUR CAR... 78-778 97 133 6 179 BAD NEWS (640) LIN TIRIAN
DIRT WORM 82-2315 52 24 0 197 VERMIN!! (1124) DWES EG
HOT HAZEL 98-608 16 23 4 164 JUNKYARD WARS (1140) SYVYN'S HILL
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
MUMMY 99-853 7 5 5 29 IKER'S CORPSES (1225) SOUTH RIDGE
FACE-TO-FACE XXXII
Our next Winter Face-to-Face will be held on Martin Luther King weekend, Friday
through Sunday, 16-18 January 2004, at the Embassy Suites in Tempe, Arizona (4400 S
Rural Rd). Room rates are $119.00 per night, 1-2 occupancy, which includes breakfast.
The rooms are blocked. The reservations number is 480-897-7444; tell them you're with
the "Reality Simulations Face to Face Convention" block. Our room block will be
released in mid-December, so please make sure you reserve your room before then.
There is a free shuttle to the airport, as well as free parking. The hotel is
located down the freeway in Tempe. All rooms have high speed internet (for an extra
charge). There is a fitness center, jacuzzi, and pool, and of course a bar and
restaurant inside the hotel. And there's Denny's right across the street. Look for
transportation info in the tournament information sheet.
The tournament information sheet/strategy sheet should be out sometime in late
November/early December.
If you haven't been to a Face-to-Face before, you're overdue. If you have,
you'll be back. Don't miss this one, it'll be a blast! See you there!
-- Green Eyes and the RSI Staff