ADVANCED DUELMASTERS

Date   : 10/22/2003    Duedate: 11/04/2003

HOME GUARD

DM-101    TURN-361

RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %  RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %
  1 COLLEGE RADI 98/1223  114   58  0 66.3      ANDORIAN UNIVERSITY 66/1123           
    THE MOTHERSHIP 19/1148                      THE FURIOUS FIVE 52/698               
  2-MENAGERIE 26/1137      26   16  0 61.9   15 DRAKE'S LODG 73/1206  144  161  5 47.2
    THE ILLUMINATI 25/1179                      DRAKE'S COMICS 47/1112                
    CALL TO THUNDER 7/1217                      CISUM S. EKARD 31/1175                
    CAER SIDHE 41/1218                          DRAKE'S BAR-B-Q 15/313                
  3 SHADOW GOLD 71/1143   372  241  1 60.7      DRAKE'S PETTING ZOO 33/1075           
  4 BLADES OF ICE 7/162   317  235  6 57.4   16 EMETICS 45/1242        25   28  0 47.2
    BLADES OF STEEL 17/1068                     JOYS OF BOOZE 33/1209                 
    BLADES OF GRASS 33/1076                  17 THRILLZ & KIL 7/1211    7    8  0 46.7
  5 LUST MUPPETS 32/1099  236  175  1 57.4      SUPERIOR KILLS 98/1229                
  6 QUBIT 10/1136         643  526  3 55.0   18 GENOCIDE 51/1109      138  164  0 45.7
    TRIPLE CROWN 15/990                         SCIENCE FICTION 6/1152                
    TOO GOOD FOR ME 65/1054                     RESURRECTION 2/1065                   
    VERMIN!! 82/1124                         19-JUNKYARD WAR 98/1140   16   20  0 44.4
    JOKA MASHER! 60/833                      20 CARNIVAL 47/1238       42   54  0 43.8
    SIR AGLIO 10/788                            CARNIVAL 11/1105                      
    BRAINIAC 82/1234                         21 VIOLENT FEMS 35/972   373  500  9 42.7
    SNOTZI'S II 33/813                          JUST BECAUSE 38/1228                  
  7 MAGICK 60/955         461  385  4 54.5   22 BOOK OF STIN 21/1239    5    7  0 41.7
    FORCE OF NATURE 75/747                   23 HARLEQUINS 2/1186      56   89  1 38.6
    AND SO IT BEGINS 65/1062                    WAR HAWKS 10/1026                     
    EDGE OF EXTINCTION 71/973                   FREELANCERS 72/1232                   
    CARTOUCHE 71/1111                        24 MY PETS 9/554         433  696 11 38.4
  8 PARANOIA 65/1240       14   12  0 53.8      RHYME TYME 55/449                     
  9 ALL FINESSE 38/1236    36   31  0 53.7      GIRL SCOUT COOKIES 33/812             
    LAB EXPERIMENTS 1/1207                   25 SOLARAN BERSE 40/949   23   39  1 37.1
    SWEORDMASTERS 1/1210                     26 BLUE MOON 9/1025      393  685  3 36.5
 10 YOU FEEL THA 82/1205  100   90  1 52.6      BAD APPLES 56/1091                    
    THUNDR + LITENING 18/222                    CIRQUE DU MASQUES 58/1093             
 11 SPARF! 20/1069        660  633  9 51.0      REFORMERS 64/1095                     
    OPEN SESAME 50/824                       27 TRIP OUT 30/1216        9   16  0 36.0
    ROYAL FLUSH 47/146                          UNTOUCHABLES 18/1190                  
    REAL BEER 21/1116                           BLIND LUCK 97/1183                    
    DUCKS UNLIMITED 39/1221                  28 U.B.O.S.M. 11/1184     13   30  0 30.2
    NOT QUITE 59/1237                        29 POWERPUFF GI 12/1145    9   21  0 30.0
 12 OVERLORDS 20/30       105  103  1 50.5   30 THE REDBAERS 3/1180    10   25  0 28.6
    THE STORMGUARDS 31/132                      TOMATO ENFORCER 63/1193               
 13-BATTLE BEASTS 6/1235   11   11  0 50.0   31 MY DRUGS 98/1222        5   15  0 25.0
    SAMURAI KIDS II 62/1182                     SANDS OF TIME 38/1195                 
 14 PUERCO'S PINA 53/700   68   70  0 49.3   32 IKER'S CORPS 99/1225    0    6  0  0.0
    ANDORIAN UNIVERSITY 30/1213              33 PEACE MAKERS 73/1241    1    0  0  100

    '##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id     '-'  Team did not fight this turn

                                  WARRIOR SPOTLIGHT

          + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ Eye of the Storm #66 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

In the Far West:

     Shania slipped out of the room and shut the door behind her.  She wished there
was a way to lock it but had found no key in her captured robe, and there wasn't time
to search farther.  She had to get away from this room, out of the building if
possible, before the hunt started.
     The hall was narrow and poorly lighted, of some kind of rough, dark stone that
seemed to absorb what little light there was.  It stretched away into darkness in
both directions; she was irresistibly reminded of the passages backstage at a
theater, or the servants' stairs and halls in a great mansion.  She touched the wall
opposite her with the tips of her fingers, hoping to get a general feeling for the
layout and an idea which way she needed to go to find the exit.  And reeled as a
blueprint of the building crystallized in her mind.  Not only the present building,
but its past, and all the stages of construction and modification that had affected
it in the course of centuries.  She snatched her hand away from the wall and tried to
steady her breathing.
     After a moment, Shania looked at the floor plans in her mind and sorted through
them for the current information.  Later, at her leisure, she could wonder why her
talent for knowing had over-reacted so.  For now, the exit.  And it was...that way.
She turned to the right and hurried along the narrow hallway, bare feet silent on the
stones.
     The building itself was silent.  She heard no other footsteps, no voices.  It
might have been deserted, for all her senses could tell her.  But she didn't think it
was.
     The hall ended in a small room, a sort of lobby, with more passages going off in
different directions.  The map in her mind said that the left-hand passage would take
her out most quickly, but as she turned in that direction, she heard a muffled slam
and the murmur of a voice in that direction.  Damn.  She would fight if she had to,
but the longer her escape went undiscovered, the farther away she could get.  The map
indicated that if she went straight ahead and then to the right immediately, there
would be a stairway down, which connected with some kind of tunnels under the city.
Sewers, she guessed with a grimace.  But a second voice answered the first down the
passage to the left, and there were movement sounds that could be several people.
     She went straight across the room and looked for the stairs that turned off to
the right.  Nothing.  Blank wall.  But the plans clearly indicated--  Oh, damn.
Hidden doorway.  She didn't have TIME for--  She laid her hand against the wall,
braced for the rush of images, but this time, perhaps because she was prepared, it
was orderly.  The stair had been there, was there, but it had been closed over...
sixty years ago, more or less.  Someone had wanted a secret entrance and exit.  There
was a pressure point...there.  She pressed.
     There was a moment when nothing happened, and her hand went to the dagger in her
sleeve as the voices in the other hall came closer.  Then a stone that rose from the
floor to the level of her waist moved away, giving an opening barely big enough for
her to slip through.  Just in time she remembered that the other side was a stairway
and felt for the first step down.  Okay.  And push the doorway closed...yes, it went
back into position easily and silently.
     The stairwell was pitch dark, but there was nowhere to go but down.  Maybe when
she got to...somewhere, she would try a simple light spell.  No telling how it might
come out, but...later.  Moving carefully, she felt her way down the stairs.  They
were old, worn, and damp in spots.  Tricky footing.  For the moment, being barefoot
was an advantage.  Except that sometimes the moisture underfoot was slimy, squishy,
sometimes it even seemed to move.  Perhaps it was just as well she couldn't see what
she was stepping on.  She kept the fingers of one hand on the wall at her side for
guidance but resolutely did not invoke Knowing.  A little at a time was plenty.
     The moisture in the air and on the stones increased, and she heard the low
mutter of running water.  Not as much of a smell as she'd feared, so perhaps this
wasn't sewers.  Drains--storm drains?  Did it rain a lot here, wherever 'here' was?
An arched opening below her was faintly visible, slightly less dark than the utter
blackness in this descending stairwell.  No sounds of people that she could hear over
the water, so perhaps the light came from some distant opening to the surface.  She
certainly hoped there was an opening to the surface, and well away from the building
where she'd been held.
     The archway at the bottom of the stair opened into a much larger passage, itself
arched and about six feet wide by nine high at the highest point.  The light was so
dim that if she hadn't already been adapted to total blackness, she would have
claimed there was no light at all here.  Water flowed in a channel down the three-
foot-wide center of the floor; she couldn't tell how deep it was.  Except for the
sound of the water, it was utterly silent.
     Shania judged she could risk mage-light here, if it wasn't too bright, and
concentrated briefly to summon it.  A will-o-wisp of golden light bloomed and danced
in the air in front of her, filling the tunnel with soft radiance.  She looked around
curiously.  It was definitely a man-made passage, but either the masons had known 
some art that surpassed that of any she had ever seen, or the tunnel was so old that
time and running water had smoothed all toolmarks from the stones and laid a layer of
mineral deposits over all, hiding whatever joints there might be.
     Her guess was that the smooth, seamless appearance was due to age.  If she
touched the walls in order to Know the layout of the tunnels, how many centuries of
changes would she have to sort through?  Well, it had to be done, if she didn't want
to stand here forever.  That would make a surprising sight for any later visitors!
     Her fingers brushed against the damp stone.  There was a rush of images, but
she'd been expecting that and was not overwhelmed this time.  And despite the great
age of the tunnels, there had been few changes, and those mostly the result of
collapse, not rebuilding.  The tunnels, she now saw, formed a drainage web under a
city....  Ah, but not this city, not originally.  A much older city, laid out
differently for the most part.  Odd, that--usually a new city followed the plan of an
older one, unless some devastation had completely leveled--  Ah, it had.  Well, that
was not her problem.  Draining stormwater to a river and to the sea.  What she needed
was a place where she could safely climb out.  Her mind searched quickly through the
web.  Many of the original exits had been covered by the new construction, others
were only drains, too small to pass even a child.  But there must be some other
human-sized exit than the one she'd come in by, or there would be no point to that
one!  She could, of course, go all the way down to the shore and trust to luck in
getting out unseen there, but not if there was an alternative.  Hmm, there was a
blurred area, quite near the shore.  An effort to clarify the image brought no
result.  What could stop her probe?  Intrigued, she set off in that direction.
     There seemed to be no time in these tunnels, but Shania felt that she'd been
walking for...an hour, perhaps.  Maybe longer.  There was no change in what she saw:
the main tunnel that she had first entered, sometimes a side tunnel, smaller, opening
into it at shoulder height, often with a trickle of water spilling over the lip and
down into the main channel.  The system as a whole was sloping steadily downward.
Sometimes a breeze from ahead brought a smell of the shore, seaweed and mud and maybe
some dead fish.
     When she reached the area that had been blurred to her Knowing, she was almost
surprised to see that it was clear before her physical eyes.  Some kind of magical
shield, then?  If, by any chance, it was maintained by a non-enemy, that could be
exactly what she needed.  She began to peer up each side tunnel in search of an exit.
     In the end, it was easy to find.  One of the side tunnels, instead of opening
flat in the wall, came down from a higher level in a staircase.  Water ran down it in
a fuller stream than most tributaries had been.  That would make the steps slippery,
but she was prepared to crawl up them on her hands and knees if she had to.  She
hitched up her robe and began.
                       ***     *****     ***     *****     ***
     The fog made it impossible to see where they were going.  Which was the whole 
idea, because the warship that was intending to ram them couldn't see, either.  But
Jammies had this very clear image in his mind of their ship running flat into one of
the rocky islands that dotted this part of the sea.
     Vurand, trotting past him on some errand, whacked him upside the head, not very
lightly.  "Don't think of disaster.  Positive thoughts, dummy," he commanded.  "Even
I know that much about magic."
     Jammies jumped a little--the fog was so heavy he hadn't seen the orc coming.
"Right, positive thoughts," he muttered.  In his mental image, the ship and the rock
suddenly separated.  He thought the deck lurched under his feet and hoped that was
just his imagination.  He could hear shouts off in the fog, too far away to be any of
his comrades.  The warship, no doubt.  He hoped THEY crashed into an island!
Promptly on the thought came the sound of wood being smashed, and screams, but their
own ship kept moving forward smoothly.  The fog began to thin.  He looked around
almost fearfully.
     Their ship was passing between two of the tall rocky islands, through a space so
narrow that Jammies shivered to think of how close they must have come to disaster.
Off to the side, he could see through the mist that the warship had not been so
lucky.  It looked like it had run head-on into an island, and the front half of it
was nothing but firewood, the rear half still retaining something of its original
form.  There were men clinging to bits of wreckage and to the rocky fringes of the
island, and men floating in the water.  And some kind of fish with tall triangular
fringes circling around them, like wolves around a fallen horse.
     "Maybe we should pick up the survivors," Jammies suggested uneasily.  He felt
responsible for their plight.
     "You're nuts, boy!" Vurand snapped.  "Those are our ENEMIES.  Better they die
now so we don't have to fight 'em again later."
     "But...they're people!  They'll drown or get eaten by sharks or something,"
Jammies protested.
     "No," Vurand told him gravely.  "You've got it to learn, boy--those are enemies.
Enemies aren't people, or it'd be too hard to kill 'em.  You can't think about a man
maybe having a wife and kids and still fight to kill.  So he's not 'people'.  If you
find that hard, just think about it from the other side.  THEY wouldn't hesitate to
kill YOU, so you must not be 'people' to them.  Turnabout is fair.  You understand
me?"
     When Jammies nodded, Vurand continued on toward the bow to see what kind of
problem Herlas and Rughal were having.  The Fratsfan mage was lying on the deck,
rigid, his eyes rolled back in his head and foam on his lips.
     "What's going on?" Vurand asked, squatting down on the other side of Herlas.
     Rughal didn't look all that good, he looked wrung out, but he was still alert,
still in business, so to speak.  "I don't know," Rughal growled.  Frustration snarled
in his voice.  "When we came out of the fog, he was like this."
     The magician's mouth moved.  "I am in a place called Zinaco-Lal."  The voice was
Shania's.  "I am in..." hesitation, "a Shrine of Hodan near the waterfront.  I do not
know how long I will be safe here--"  The voice broke off abruptly.
     Rughal grabbed Herlas by the shoulders and shook him hard.  "Don't stop!  Tell
us more," he demanded.
     The Fratsfan blinked twice, mumbled something that wasn't any words they could
understand, and went limp.

          + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ The Tides of Magic #14 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

Not Talahya:

     The Ghean gladiators once again positioned themselves for combat, spreading out
enough that each warrior should have room to act independently.  The lizard man,
Thristle, took the leading position on the path, with the others fanned out to the
sides where the ground was flat and clear enough.
     The mist roiled and disgorged the Ardaunar.
     There were half a dozen of them, in scale-mail and helms, armed with short,
straight swords.  Like Thristle, they were humanoid but not human.  Unlike Thristle,
they were not reptilian.
     "Narsh Uttur?" Carris Fallstar asked, remembering a few of the werewolves of
Lyratilan that he'd met on the Isle.
     "They certainly smell like wolves," Rogan answered with a grimace.
     "The teeth that bite," Scarlatti agreed, eyeing the fanged snouts uneasily.
"The claws that rend.  I shudder to think of fighting them," he added, shuddering
conspicuously.  His sword was steady in his hand.
     Moonjumper, beside him, laughed.
     At that sound, the Ardaunar reared back, exchanging uneasy glances.  They
weren't used to being laughed at.  The hesitation was brief, however.  The one in the
center of the pack stepped forward and began a long...well, it was probably a
harangue.  In the growly voice of the creature, it was hard to tell if it was
boastful, hostile, or emotionally neutral.
     Thristle broke in on the speech with one of his own, all whistles and chirps and
hissing sounds.
     The leading Ardaunar made a 'cut it off' gesture and spoke, with difficulty, in
the local version of Isle cant.  "Thizz ourr path.  You getd off, grrovel, and we
notd kill."
     "No," Carris said, stepping up beside Thristle.  "Grovel for a pack of mangy
curs?  We will not."
     The leading Ardaunar howled fury and lunged forward, his companions close
behind.  Contrary to the gladiators' expectations, they did not each engage one enemy
but concentrated at one end of the line, where Moonjumper and Scarlatti held down the
right.  It was quickly obvious that the Ardaunar were used to fighting as a unit,
rather than one-on-one.  They stayed together, covered each other's flanks, moved
forward and back so that each got a chance to rest when the battle was hottest.
     The gladiators changed their own half-formed plan and moved to encircle the
compact group of opponents.  Each gladiator picked one of the dog-men and tried to
entice him out to where he could be fought in the way they were used to.  A futile
effort, as the Ardaunar wouldn't break their pack; it was their strength, and they
knew it.
     "This isn't working," Carris said, disgusted.  He spoke Fratsfan rather than
Isle cant and hoped that the two Free Blades warriors would understand it well
enough--and the dogs not at all.  "Thristle was right, we've got to fight as a team.
And we've got to break them up.  So, Rogan, Scarlatti, work with me, we'll split this
pack in two.  Moonjumper, you and Thristle keep them distracted so they won't guess
what we're up to until it's too late."
     "What about me?" Fizban asked.
     "You're no warrior," the elf said bluntly.  "Do you have any spells that can
help here?"
     "At such close quarters with risk to my own side, and without preparation...."
The old wizard shrugged, looking embarrassed.
     "That's what I thought.  Stay out of the way, then."  Carris disengaged from the
Ardaunar he was fencing with.  "We act...NOW."  He lunged.
     Rogan and Scarlatti fell in on either side of him and a little behind, making a
wedge to split the pack.  The Ardaunar howled, and one went down from Carris's
initial lunge-and-thrust.  No way, no time to tell if the blow was fatal, but the dog
was out of the fight.  The others howled and drew back a little, trying to reform
their tight group.  The wedge of gladiators forced itself deeper, and there was
another howl as Moonjumper and Thristle attacked on the flank.  Two of the Ardaunar
grabbed their fallen comrade, and they all began to back away.
     "This is the most dangerous moment," Thristle warned.  "They will retreat if we
allow them to do so, but if the attack is pressed, they will fight, and more fiercely 
for being desperate."
     "We don't need to drive home this victory," Fizban urged behind them.  "We don't
need bitter enemies here in this strange place!"
     "I'd like to see a clear surrender," Carris Fallstar growled.
     "Ah, let 'em go," Scarlatti muttered.  "We whipped 'em, and they know it.  We've
got other things to do."
     "A place to rest," Fizban agreed with a small groan.  Age got no easier to bear
with experience.
     "Food," added Scarlatti.
     "And most of all, information," Carris Fallstar finished.
     "I will take you to the compound of my team," Thristle said.  "You will be able
to rest and refresh yourselves, and our managers will doubtless bend their minds to
solving your problems.  This routing of the Ardaunar," he gestured at the patch of
blood on the walkway, "is perhaps a small thing, but it will amuse my comrades and
dispose them to be helpful.  Come."

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

     Buncha stuff happened today.  Exhausting.  So here's the scoop, no frills.  
Well, not many frills.
     Joka Masher! got avoided most, by The Stormguards.  No reasons were given in the 
notes.
     Sorrow, the Captain of the Guard, got the most challenges, to the number of six.  
People musta thought he looked like he could lose.
     Fifty-one fights, the longest being eight minutes.  Piffling.  Twenty-eight 
challenge matches, of which two were TV and the rest, as Debby would say, Radio.  
Only a couple fights were action-packed, but lots were exciting, and somebody 
actually died.  In other words, it was a week like all weeks, filled with those 
events that alter and illuminate your lives.  (Not my life, it doesn't need 
illumination.  I like it shady.)

     For reasons having to do mostly with sloth and tiredness, I'm going to give you 
the fights from the high end down this time, instead of from the bottom up as I 
usually do.  Live with it.

     The two TV challenges (Free Blades is hogging most of the rest):
     UU DOEWANAKNO (73-1414) (22-7-1,206) of DRAKE'S LODGE TV challenged BEAUTY QUEEN 
(47-3352) (34-35-3,217) of ROYAL FLUSH.  Up 11.  UU DOEWANAKNO devastated BEAUTY 
QUEEN in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.  I hate to see a devastated Beauty.  
They cry, and their eyes get red, and it just doesn't work for me.
     CLOUDS AWAY (50-3332) (15-5-2,43) of OPEN SESAME TV challenged LETHE (9-4782) 
(25-19-2,82) of BLUE MOON.  Up 39.  CLOUDS AWAY demolished LETHE in a popular 1 
minute one-sided Challenge melee.  Fortunately, Lethe is no stranger to 
embarrassment.

     The regular challenges:
     TALOS (31-2069) (45-17-0,212) of THE STORMGUARDS challenged SORROW (1-2863) (32-
22-2,249) of SWEORDMASTERS.  Up 37.  TALOS was vanquished by SORROW in a popular 2 
minute mismatched Challenge Title brawl.  Which leaves Sorrow still as the Captain of 
the Guard.  Write a column and tell us about it, kid.
     SPAZ GHOST (47-4161) (40-20-1,207) of DRAKE'S COMICS challenged PRIMUS (21-4975) 
(36-11-0,253) of REAL BEER.  Up 46, I think.  It's kinda late in the day for 
complicated math.  SPAZ GHOST overpowered PRIMUS in a crowd pleasing 5 minute 
mismatched Challenge match.  Hey, nobody here likes Primus.  Nothing personal, just 
the name brings on cold chills.
     OBSESSED AVENGER (15-2162) (39-39-1,197) of DRAKE'S BAR-B-Q challenged DIRT WORM 
(82-2315) (54-25-0,206) of VERMIN!!.  Up 9.  OBSESSED AVENGER was outlasted by DIRT 
WORM in an exciting 8 minute Challenge struggle.  Our longest fight, and I sincerely 
expect that the O.A. found a lot of dirt during this fight.  I can wait to hear about 
it.
     CAFFIENE ACHIEVER (15-2429) (36-40-4,167) of DRAKE'S BAR-B-Q challenged MASHER 
(60-4553) (33-34-3,173) of JOKA MASHER!.  Up 6.  CAFFIENE ACHIEVER was devastated by 
MASHER in a 1 minute Challenge competition.  What can be more devastating than 
caffiene, eh?  Masher, that's what.
     KYLIE (18-6057) (23-19-1,160) of UNTOUCHABLES challenged STRONGEST #3 (40-173) 
(45-88-1,165) of SOLARAN BERSERK.  Up 5.  KYLIE was overcome by STRONGEST #3 in a 1 
minute Challenge melee.  Does this mean Kylie was number four?
     APPLE JACK (47-4011) (28-18-4,178) of ROYAL FLUSH challenged WURP (10-18) (46-
51-1,198) of WAR HAWKS.  Up 20.  APPLE JACK vanquished WURP in a 1 minute uneven 
Challenge duel.  I can't help it, I had to laugh at this one.  I mean, "wurp" always 
sounds so much like a belch, and then, well, if you've ever tried apple jack, you 
know where the joke is.
     JACK SPRAT (47-2954) (45-53-4,132) of ROYAL FLUSH challenged TICKLES (9-3486) 
(35-55-1,137) of MY PETS.  Up 5.  JACK SPRAT overpowered TICKLES in a popular 1 
minute uneven Challenge duel.  Guess you gotta have fat to succumb to tickles.
     VAL BEMERIKI (51-5018) (37-25-3,137) of GENOCIDE challenged BUBBLES (12-4981) 
(23-42-1,118) of POWERPUFF GIRLS.  Down 19.  VAL BEMERIKI was overpowered by BUBBLES 
in a 1 minute uneven Challenge match.  Seems fitting in a nasty kind of way.
     MIME (2-4966) (22-13-3,131) of HARLEQUINS challenged SPAZZ (33-6207) (35-26-
0,155) of SNOTZI'S II.  Up 24.  MIME was overpowered by SPAZZ in a 1 minute one-sided 
Challenge fight.  Uh, Mime, you're not supposed to PRETEND to fight.  That's just one 
of those sayings that the announcer throws out, not advice to the gladiatorially 
inclined.
     AVARICIOUS AVON (63-2388) (22-17-0,114) of TOMATO ENFORCER challenged AVALANCHE 
(75-2213) (18-3-1,128) of FORCE OF NATURE.  Up 14.  AVARICIOUS AVON was demolished by 
AVALANCHE in a 1 minute Challenge competition.  Crushed under all that snow!  Enforce 
that tomato, baby!
     ROT TEN EGGS (47-3099) (32-31-0,102) of ROYAL FLUSH challenged SABLE (2-4950) 
(26-14-2,102) of HARLEQUINS.  Straight across.  ROT TEN EGGS devastated SABLE in a 
crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided Challenge battle.  After which we fumigated the 
arena.
     THE FRATSFAN CHEF (30-4385) (18-6-0,122) of ANDORIAN UNIVERSITY challenged 
MIGHTY MITE (82-13968) (20-23-0,122) of VERMIN!!  Straight across.  THE FRATSFAN CHEF 
handily defeated MIGHTY MITE in a 2 minute Challenge conflict.  And if you think THAT 
was slicing and dicing, you should what he can do to a potato!
     BURGER KING (47-4152) (28-24-2,109) of ROYAL FLUSH challenged JUGGLER (2-4965) 
(23-13-0,120) of HARLEQUINS.  Up 11.  BURGER KING devastated JUGGLER in an exciting 1 
minute bloody uneven Challenge duel.  Roped him with an onion ring.  Or maybe Burger 
ran onions rings around him.  I can't quite make out this note, except that there 
were definitely onions involved.
     STARBUCK (6-5387) (26-15-0,142) of SCIENCE FICTION challenged NEVERMORE (1-5260) 
(21-20-2,114) of LAB EXPERIMENTS.  Down 28.  STARBUCK was devastated by NEVERMORE in 
an exciting 1 minute one-sided Challenge brawl.  Which means that as this spaceship 
pilot struggled to land on the planet Mxplk, he was struck by a flock of birds, 
causing him to crash.  Sorry, I know that's clumsy, but I didn't have time to think 
of a really clever scenario.
     EMILY (17-5753) (24-15-0,100) of BLADES OF STEEL challenged W.T. POOH (33-4430) 
(56-41-0,143) of SNOTZI'S II.  Up 43.  EMILY subdued W.T. POOH in an exciting 2 
minute Challenge bout.  Emily just LOVES her little Pooh, and that is why (so she 
says) she took a blade and shaved him close.  Ever seen a bald bear?  Scary.
     PREACHER (7-5083) (21-9-2,96) of THRILLZ & KILLZ challenged OSCAR (50-3153) (28-
5-0,98) of OPEN SESAME.  Up 2.  PREACHER savagely defeated OSCAR in a crowd pleasing 
4 minute bloody Challenge fight.  Killz, now, thrillz, yes.
     FOREVER MAN (38-4168) (27-43-0,55) of SANDS OF TIME challenged MOD COD (55-2638) 
(39-72-1,61) of RHYME TYME.  Up 6.  FOREVER MAN unbelievably bested MOD COD in a 2 
minute gory Challenge bout.  Hey, the Cod may be a fossil, but he's a very cool 
fossil.  And his forever is longer than yours.
     LUNA TYCK (33-5761) (30-31-1,74) of DRAKE'S PETTING ZOO challenged CARRIE NATION 
(64-4054) (34-64-0,78) of REFORMERS.  Up 4.  LUNA TYCK lost to CARRIE NATION in a 
popular 2 minute gruesome Challenge match.  Drinking on the job again!
     TORLEC (10-5018) (15-10-2,62) of WAR HAWKS challenged NEDIAM NORI (31-4069) (19-
13-1,60) of CISUM S. EKARD.  Down 2.  TORLEC was vanquished by NEDIAM NORI in a 
popular 1 minute mismatched Challenge fray.  Torlec couldn't dance to her tune.
     KRAC D'CHEVALIERS (31-4345) (17-13-0,71) of THE STORMGUARDS challenged FUNKY 
ELVIS (30-2754) (17-13-0,75) of TRIP OUT.  Up 4.  KRAC D'CHEVALIERS demolished FUNKY 
ELVIS in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.  Does this mean he gets the blue suede 
shoes?  And will they fit?  I'd hate to see those shoes split because somebody might 
have bigger feet.
     FOUNTAINS OF WAYNE (98-809) (8-7-4,49) of COLLEGE RADIO challenged ONE A DAY 
(98-799) (12-3-3,50) of MY DRUGS.  Up 1.  FOUNTAINS OF WAYNE vanquished ONE A DAY in 
a 3 minute one-sided Challenge match.  Try two next time, One A Day.  You're not 
getting enough pep.
     ROGAN (97-980) (6-12-4,45) of BLIND LUCK challenged XISS (11-1305) (23-30-4,31) 
of U.B.O.S.M.  Down 14.  ROGAN was overpowered by XISS in a 1 minute uneven Challenge 
match.  It's an interesting point here that every downchallenger lost.  Probably not 
significant, what with the sample being so small, but it certainly catches the eye.
     ROWDY YOBBO (20-3429) (21-20-1,75) of SPARF! challenged BEER GOGGLES (33-6819) 
(21-16-1,96) of JOYS OF BOOZE.  Up 21.  ROWDY YOBBO was overpowered by BEER GOGGLES 
in a 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.  It's the Gs.  They act as clamps and keep 
opponents from getting out of reach.
     FILI LIU (2-4968) (20-18-0,68) of RESURRECTION challenged TORATORATORRES (11-
726) (22-23-0,69) of U.B.O.S.M.  Up 1.  FILI LIU was overcome by TORATORATORRES in a 
2 minute Challenge bout.  Ole!
     PERFECT TEN (47-4218) (23-19-1,84) of ROYAL FLUSH challenged SIR VILE (10-4754) 
(19-15-0,89) of SIR AGLIO.  Up 5.  PERFECT TEN viciously subdued SIR VILE in an 
exciting 3 minute gory Challenge duel.  How can perfection be vicious?  Good gods, is 
"vicious" the ideal we should all be striving for?
     NASTY NITTERS (63-2383) (17-22-2,62) of TOMATO ENFORCER challenged SKI MASK (58-
5869) (27-50-0,71) of CIRQUE DU MASQUES.  Up 9.  NASTY NITTERS was overpowered by SKI 
MASK in a popular 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.  And the nasty fellow from Amen-Tei 
learns the hard way that a Duck with a Sword is NOTHING like a tomato.

     And the random matches, since I'm now feeling expansive.  Must have been the 
fifth mineral water.
     R'SHANN (20-577) (46-36-3,221) of OVERLORDS fought ROLEX WATCH (32-3732) (40-31-
0,203) of LUST MUPPETS.  R'SHANN savagely defeated ROLEX WATCH in a popular 2 minute 
brutal fight.  After which, Rolex was found in the sand.  That's an in joke.
     BLACK RHINO (71-1834) (36-25-1,188) of EDGE OF EXTINCTION fought STEVE MCQUEEN 
(47-3908) (29-33-1,162) of ROYAL FLUSH.  BLACK RHINO was beaten by STEVE MCQUEEN in 
an action packed 1 minute bout.  After the fight, Steve was cited for contribution to 
the extinction of a rhino.
     EMERALD DRAGONFLY (60-2586) (61-59-2,186) of MAGICK fought QRAPPY (10-4761) (33-
46-1,156) of QUBIT.  EMERALD DRAGONFLY demolished QRAPPY in a popular 1 minute bloody 
uneven contest.  You don't usually find butterflies so tough.
     KAIDEN (35-3108) (73-75-2,203) of VIOLENT FEMS fought HALLIE O'DENE (58-6018) 
(42-54-0,178) of CIRQUE DU MASQUES.  KAIDEN subdued HALLIE O'DENE in a crowd pleasing 
1 minute match.  Ah, nothing like violence in a Fem to be really VIOLENT.  Never 
touch 'em, myself.
     SIR CUITOUS (10-4514) (37-23-0,201) of SIR AGLIO fought HAPPY JACK (19-4086) 
(36-25-2,162) of THE MOTHERSHIP.  SIR CUITOUS savagely defeated HAPPY JACK in a 3 
minute gory fray.  Looks like Jack must have gone straight for the throat... 
eventually.
     50 SUCKS (60-4129) (52-31-0,193) of JOKA MASHER! fought ARENAMASTER AZEEM (101-
28) (0-0-0,200) of Local Louts.  50 SUCKS subdued ARENAMASTER AZEEM in a crowd 
pleasing 3 minute match.  And who, I ask you, is this Arenamaster Azeem?  I never 
heard of the fellow.  What does he think he's doing in MY arena?
     COM DOT (65-6217) (37-22-0,175) of TOO GOOD FOR ME fought CRUSADER LORD (31-
3946) (35-22-4,178) of THE STORMGUARDS.  COM DOT demolished CRUSADER LORD in a 
popular 1 minute one-sided duel.  Apparently this is not the time, nor is it the 
place, for a crusade.  Too bad, I could use a good crusade about now.
     PARADISE PARROT (71-1735) (29-27-0,157) of EDGE OF EXTINCTION fought JOE KING 
(47-2223) (27-46-0,119) of ROYAL FLUSH.  PARADISE PARROT was vanquished by JOE KING 
in an exciting 1 minute mismatched bout.  Next time, don't offer crackers, Joe.  Some 
parrots have a sweet tooth, or maybe it's a sweet beak, and they like cookies.  And 
then, of course, there are the ones that prefer English muffins....
     DELICE THE RED (56-3401) (38-45-1,139) of BAD APPLES fought LOOMING BIRD (82-
424) (43-58-3,149) of YOU FEEL THAT!  DELICE THE RED was viciously butchered by 
LOOMING BIRD in a 2 minute brutal duel.  I've heard of fruit being pecked by birds, 
but this is extreme.
     X THE BOLD (10-16) (54-50-1,138) of WAR HAWKS fought NED THE JANITOR (66-2973) 
(21-21-0,110) of ANDORIAN UNIVERSITY.  X THE BOLD was defeated by NED THE JANITOR in 
a 1 minute battle.  Caught littering, I see!
     TSUNAMI (75-2214) (21-2-1,148) of FORCE OF NATURE fought BLUE (33-5776) (21-13-
1,95) of BLADES OF GRASS.  TSUNAMI was vanquished by BLUE in an exciting 1 minute 
mismatched duel.  Gotta love that blue grass music.
     MISER (71-3793) (35-16-2,100) of SHADOW GOLD fought EXILE (7-4618) (20-15-1,61) 
of BLADES OF ICE.  MISER overcame EXILE in a crowd pleasing 3 minute duel.  No 
surprise here.  You know what they say, "Money will get you through times of no ice 
better than ice will get you through times of no money."  Or something like that.
     KOOKABURRA (33-4151) (43-55-2,100) of GIRL SCOUT COOKIES fought LIBERTY BELLE 
(12-5448) (19-24-0,81) of POWERPUFF GIRLS.  KOOKABURRA overpowered LIBERTY BELLE in a 
1 minute one-sided brawl.  Belle, I charge you to uphold ladylike standards here!  Do 
not brawl.  Leave brawling to the guys.
     ANGAR (10-4933) (19-15-1,94) of WAR HAWKS fought PURPLE DONKEY (30-2751) (20-13-
0,78) of TRIP OUT.  ANGAR was viciously subdued by PURPLE DONKEY in a crowd pleasing 
3 minute melee.  Purple Donkey, I have heard how cruel your manager was in denying 
you a duelmaster's column.  I offer you a chance to write a lengthy personal here on 
the Isle instead.  In fact, write lengthy personals every time.
     KONGOL (7-4524) (28-16-2,95) of BLADES OF ICE fought SUMTHING PAINFUL (11-4735) 
(20-18-0,78) of U.B.O.S.M.  KONGOL beat SUMTHING PAINFUL in an exciting 1 minute 
fight.  And it was, oh, yes, it was.
     GLORY HOLE (98-870) (7-8-4,51) of SUPERIOR KILLS fought ANDAR (11-1038) (19-15-
1,71) of U.B.O.S.M.  GLORY HOLE was luckily beaten by ANDAR in a popular 1 minute 
gory duel.  If this was luck, then Andar is in trouble.
     MUMMY (99-853) (7-8-5,24) of IKER'S CORPSES fought JUSTICE (73-4299) (13-8-1,48) 
of PEACE MAKERS.  MUMMY was handily defeated by JUSTICE in an action packed 1 minute 
mismatched bout.  Are you pieceful now, Mummy?
     KOGITSUNE MARU (1-5298) (19-14-1,46) of SWEORDMASTERS fought LYTA ALEXANDER (65-
5021) (11-7-0,77) of AND SO IT BEGINS.  KOGITSUNE MARU was demolished by LYTA 
ALEXANDER in a 1 minute mismatched match.  And, apparently, ends, quite quickly.
     TOTALLY PAR (82-5175) (21-9-0,79) of BRAINIAC fought IPECAC (45-3625) (13-6-
0,45) of EMETICS.  TOTALLY PAR beat IPECAC in an exciting 2 minute battle.  If things 
had been the other way around, it would REALLY have been exciting here.
     TUTANKHAMUN (71-3357) (16-10-0,58) of CARTOUCHE fought ODEN WARFIEND (11-1335) 
(25-21-2,68) of U.B.O.S.M.  TUTANKHAMUN overpowered ODEN WARFIEND in a 1 minute 
mismatched bout.  Explain to me, please, the "warfiend" bit.  Were you such a fiend 
that you were thrown out of a war and had to gladiate instead?  Okay, so I'm reaching 
on that, but I really want to know.  It isn't like we practice war in the arena or 
anything.
     THREEKARD (47-4600) (13-10-1,50) of CARNIVAL fought HIGH GUN (15-4386) (14-14-
1,51) of TRIPLE CROWN.  THREEKARD devastated HIGH GUN in a crowd pleasing 1 minute 
one-sided conflict.  And where, I ask you, was the "horse sense" we expected from 
High Gun?
     QUIBBLE (10-4756) (15-34-0,79) of QUBIT fought HOCKEY DUCK (39-937) (24-13-1,52) 
of DUCKS UNLIMITED.  QUIBBLE subdued HOCKEY DUCK in a crowd pleasing 5 minute gory 
battle.  Hockey, you were probably cursed for daring to fight the Founder and 
President of Ducks With Swords.
     And last and least, GAR & BRILL (38-4252) (18-20-0,67) of JUST BECAUSE fought 
MEAN SPIRIT (101-5) (0-0-0,70) of Local Louts.  GAR & BRILL bested MEAN SPIRIT in an 
exciting 1 minute match.  Not so mean after all.

                                        Olaf Modeen

CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD          W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 SORROW 1-2863               33  22  2  276  SWEORDMASTERS (1210)       MORDANT

GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 R'SHANN 20-577              47  36  3  234  OVERLORDS (30)             SEAM
 SPAZ GHOST 47-4161          41  20  1  233  DRAKE'S COMICS (1112)      NORTH FORK
 UU DOEWANAKNO 73-1414       23   7  1  217  DRAKE'S LODGE (1206)       ERINIKA
-LUDO 18-708                 54  58  2  215  THUNDR + LITENING (222)    TALCAMA
 DIRT WORM 82-2315           55  25  0  211  VERMIN!! (1124)            DWES EG

GRAND CHAMPIONS               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 KAIDEN 35-3108              74  75  2  205  VIOLENT FEMS (972)         MURSKA
 50 SUCKS 60-4129            53  31  0  205  JOKA MASHER! (833)         ARADI
 OBSESSED AVENGER 15-2162    39  40  1  204  DRAKE'S BAR-B-Q (313)      MALCORN
 SIR CUITOUS 10-4514         38  23  0  203  SIR AGLIO (788)            KOLACT
 ROLEX WATCH 32-3732         40  32  0  199  LUST MUPPETS (1099)        ARVAT
 APPLE JACK 47-4011          29  18  4  198  ROYAL FLUSH (146)          NORTH FORK
 PRIMUS 21-4975              36  12  0  196  REAL BEER (1116)           SUNSET
 COM DOT 65-6217             38  22  0  195  TOO GOOD FOR ME (1054)     DAL SHANG
-MISS WORLD 52-2370          29  29  1  195  THE FURIOUS FIVE (698)     FRATSFA
 BEAUTY QUEEN 47-3352        34  36  3  194  ROYAL FLUSH (146)          NORTH FORK
 TALOS 31-2069               45  18  0  193  THE STORMGUARDS (132)      CHIMLEVTAL
 EMERALD DRAGONFLY 60-2586   62  59  2  189  MAGICK (955)               ARADI
-MUSILAR DE MITTEL 53-5753   33  17  0  186  PUERCO'S PINATA (700)      KHALHUMS
 STEVE MCQUEEN 47-3908       30  33  1  186  ROYAL FLUSH (146)          NORTH FORK
-HOT HAZEL 98-608            18  23  4  186  JUNKYARD WARS (1140)       SYVYN'S HILL
 WURP 10-18                  46  52  1  181  WAR HAWKS (1026)           KOLACT

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 MASHER 60-4553              34  34  3  181  JOKA MASHER! (833)         ARADI

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 LOOMING BIRD 82-424         44  58  4  180  YOU FEEL THAT! (1205)      DWES EG
-SULTAN 10-4516              29   8  1  180  SIR AGLIO (788)            KOLACT
 HALLIE O'DENE 58-6018       42  55  0  179  CIRQUE DU MASQUES (1093)   DELARQ TOR
-SUNNY BRAE 53-5638          34  29  1  173  PUERCO'S PINATA (700)      KHALHUMS
 HAPPY JACK 19-4086          36  26  2  172  THE MOTHERSHIP (1148)      ZUWAYZA
 STRONGEST #3 40-173         46  88  1  171  SOLARAN BERSERK (949)      ZENSU
 BLACK RHINO 71-1834         36  26  1  170  EDGE OF EXTINCTION (973)   KYR'TERR
 CRUSADER LORD 31-3946       35  23  4  170  THE STORMGUARDS (132)      CHIMLEVTAL
 SPAZZ 33-6207               36  26  0  164  SNOTZI'S II (813)          NIYTYOLE ISLAND
 CAFFIENE ACHIEVER 15-2429   36  41  4  159  DRAKE'S BAR-B-Q (313)      MALCORN
 KYLIE 18-6057               23  20  1  156  UNTOUCHABLES (1190)        TALCAMA
 QRAPPY 10-4761              33  47  1  155  QUBIT (1136)               KOLACT

GRAND ADEPTS                  W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 JOE KING 47-2223            28  46  0  150  ROYAL FLUSH (146)          NORTH FORK
 JACK SPRAT 47-2954          46  53  4  146  ROYAL FLUSH (146)          NORTH FORK
 BUBBLES 12-4981             24  42  1  145  POWERPUFF GIRLS (1145)     RIZTAB
 NEVERMORE 1-5260            22  20  2  145  LAB EXPERIMENTS (1207)     MORDANT
 BLUE 33-5776                22  13  1  143  BLADES OF GRASS (1076)     NIYTYOLE ISLAND
-SILHOUETTE 26-2006          24   7  0  141  MENAGERIE (1137)           CALEAM
 DELICE THE RED 56-3401      38  46  1  138  BAD APPLES (1091)          ROCANIS
 EMILY 17-5753               25  15  0  138  BLADES OF STEEL (1068)     ALJAFIR
 AVALANCHE 75-2213           19   3  1  138  FORCE OF NATURE (747)      JADE MOUNTAIN
 THE FRATSFAN CHEF 30-4385   19   6  0  135  ANDORIAN UNIVERSITY (1213) IAYE
 BURGER KING 47-4152         29  24  2  131  ROYAL FLUSH (146)          NORTH FORK
 NED THE JANITOR 66-2973     22  21  0  131  ANDORIAN UNIVERSITY (1123) TARRGIR
 MIME 2-4966                 22  14  3  130  HARLEQUINS (1186)          NIANIA
 PARADISE PARROT 71-1735     29  28  0  128  EDGE OF EXTINCTION (973)   KYR'TERR
 TICKLES 9-3486              35  56  1  124  MY PETS (554)              ZUKAL
 W.T. POOH 33-4430           56  42  0  119  SNOTZI'S II (813)          NIYTYOLE ISLAND
 X THE BOLD 10-16            54  51  1  119  WAR HAWKS (1026)           KOLACT
 ROT TEN EGGS 47-3099        33  31  0  119  ROYAL FLUSH (146)          NORTH FORK
 STARBUCK 6-5387             26  16  0  119  SCIENCE FICTION (1152)     TRANSEL
 VAL BEMERIKI 51-5018        37  26  3  117  GENOCIDE (1109)            TRICORUS
 PREACHER 7-5083             22   9  2  117  THRILLZ & KILLZ (1211)     BONSUR
 MIGHTY MITE 82-13968        20  24  0  115  VERMIN!! (1124)            DWES EG
 TSUNAMI 75-2214             21   3  1  113  FORCE OF NATURE (747)      JADE MOUNTAIN
 AVARICIOUS AVON 63-2388     22  18  0  112  TOMATO ENFORCER (1193)     AMEN-TEI
 KOOKABURRA 33-4151          44  55  2  105  GIRL SCOUT COOKIES (812)   NIYTYOLE ISLAND
 JUGGLER 2-4965              23  14  0  105  HARLEQUINS (1186)          NIANIA
 BEER GOGGLES 33-6819        22  16  1  103  JOYS OF BOOZE (1209)       NIYTYOLE ISLAND
 MISER 71-3793               36  16  2  102  SHADOW GOLD (1143)         KYR'TERR

GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 KONGOL 7-4524               29  16  2   98  BLADES OF ICE (162)        BONSUR
 PERFECT TEN 47-4218         24  19  1   97  ROYAL FLUSH (146)          NORTH FORK
 OSCAR 50-3153               28   6  0   96  OPEN SESAME (824)          SNOWBOUND
 PURPLE DONKEY 30-2751       21  13  0   96  TRIP OUT (1216)            IAYE
-ADAM AND STINK 21-3999      25  19  1   95  BOOK OF STINK (1239)       SUNSET
 SABLE 2-4950                26  15  2   93  HARLEQUINS (1186)          NIANIA
-ISAWA TADAKA 7-5093         22   6  0   92  CALL TO THUNDER (1217)     BONSUR

GRAND INITIATES               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-TOTURI 7-5051               20  11  0   90  CALL TO THUNDER (1217)     BONSUR
-SOUL SCOURGE 25-1223        20   9  2   89  THE ILLUMINATI (1179)      LYRATILAN
 QUIBBLE 10-4756             16  34  0   86  QUBIT (1136)               KOLACT
 CARRIE NATION 64-4054       35  64  0   85  REFORMERS (1095)           KURUKAR
 SIR VILE 10-4754            19  16  0   85  SIR AGLIO (788)            KOLACT
 KRAC D'CHEVALIERS 31-4345   18  13  0   85  THE STORMGUARDS (132)      CHIMLEVTAL
 ANGAR 10-4933               19  16  1   84  WAR HAWKS (1026)           KOLACT

GRAND INITIATES               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 LYTA ALEXANDER 65-5021      12   7  0   83  AND SO IT BEGINS (1062)    DAL SHANG
 TOTALLY PAR 82-5175         22   9  0   81  BRAINIAC (1234)            DWES EG
 SKI MASK 58-5869            28  50  0   80  CIRQUE DU MASQUES (1093)   DELARQ TOR
-VIZZERDRIX 6-5493           21   8  1   80  BATTLE BEASTS (1235)       TRANSEL
 SUMTHING PAINFUL 11-4735    20  19  0   80  U.B.O.S.M. (1184)          ARUAK CITY
-GWYN AP NUDD 41-1210        20   4  0   79  CAER SIDHE (1218)          KATI-TEI
-GLLEELLMANN 11-4514         23   9  0   78  CARNIVAL (1105)            ARUAK CITY
-OURS ROUGE 3-6049           17  24  1   78  THE REDBAERS (1180)        OSKSI
 CLOUDS AWAY 50-3332         16   5  2   77  OPEN SESAME (824)          SNOWBOUND
 LIBERTY BELLE 12-5448       19  25  0   76  POWERPUFF GIRLS (1145)     RIZTAB
 TORATORATORRES 11-726       23  23  0   75  U.B.O.S.M. (1184)          ARUAK CITY
 NEDIAM NORI 31-4069         20  13  1   75  CISUM S. EKARD (1175)      CHIMLEVTAL
 GAR & BRILL 38-4252         19  20  0   75  JUST BECAUSE (1228)        CLIFFHOME
 TUTANKHAMUN 71-3357         17  10  0   75  CARTOUCHE (1111)           KYR'TERR
 EXILE 7-4618                20  16  1   74  BLADES OF ICE (162)        BONSUR
 ANDAR 11-1038               20  15  1   73  U.B.O.S.M. (1184)          ARUAK CITY
 ROWDY YOBBO 20-3429         21  21  1   72  SPARF! (1069)              SEAM
 LUNA TYCK 33-5761           30  32  1   70  DRAKE'S PETTING ZOO (1075) NIYTYOLE ISLAND
-BAYUSHI KACHIKO 7-5235      18   7  0   69  CALL TO THUNDER (1217)     BONSUR
 FOUNTAINS OF WAYNE 98-809    9   7  4   68  COLLEGE RADIO (1223)       SYVYN'S HILL
 FILI LIU 2-4968             20  19  0   64  RESURRECTION (1065)        NIANIA
 FUNKY ELVIS 30-2754         17  14  0   64  TRIP OUT (1216)            IAYE
 FOREVER MAN 38-4168         28  43  0   63  SANDS OF TIME (1195)       CLIFFHOME
-IMMOVEABLE OBJECT 59-2110   19   5  1   63  NOT QUITE (1237)           ILLIS
 THREEKARD 47-4600           14  10  1   62  CARNIVAL (1238)            NORTH FORK
-MR. HOOPER 50-3318          17   9  1   61  OPEN SESAME (824)          SNOWBOUND
-DISORDER 65-6419            17   7  1   59  PARANOIA (1240)            DAL SHANG
-JARRAC 72-5294              17  15  2   57  FREELANCERS (1232)         DRAGONHEAD
 ODEN WARFIEND 11-1335       25  22  2   55  U.B.O.S.M. (1184)          ARUAK CITY
 LETHE 9-4782                25  20  2   55  BLUE MOON (1025)           ZUKAL
 HOCKEY DUCK 39-937          24  14  1   55  DUCKS UNLIMITED (1221)     XOCHITHLAN
 IPECAC 45-3625              13   7  0   55  EMETICS (1242)             STORMCROWE
 MOD COD 55-2638             39  73  1   54  RHYME TYME (449)           KHALANI
 NASTY NITTERS 63-2383       17  23  2   54  TOMATO ENFORCER (1193)     AMEN-TEI
 TORLEC 10-5018              15  11  2   54  WAR HAWKS (1026)           KOLACT
 JUSTICE 73-4299             14   8  1   53  PEACE MAKERS (1241)        ERINIKA
 GLORY HOLE 98-870            7   9  4   53  SUPERIOR KILLS (1229)      SYVYN'S HILL
 XISS 11-1305                24  30  4   49  U.B.O.S.M. (1184)          ARUAK CITY
-KATANA 62-3769              11  13  0   47  SAMURAI KIDS II (1182)     VALAMANTIS
 KOGITSUNE MARU 1-5298       19  15  1   45  SWEORDMASTERS (1210)       MORDANT
 HIGH GUN 15-4386            14  15  1   41  TRIPLE CROWN (990)         MALCORN
 ONE A DAY 98-799            12   4  3   40  MY DRUGS (1222)            SYVYN'S HILL
 ROGAN 97-980                 6  13  4   28  BLIND LUCK (1183)          SHADOW GROVE
 MUMMY 99-853                 7   9  5   22  IKER'S CORPSES (1225)      SOUTH RIDGE

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                    W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY              TURN
DELICE THE RED 56-3401     38  46  1 BAD APPLES 1091        LOOMING BIRD 82-424    361

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

Starbuck of Science Fiction, put it together people.  I am NOT Coffee, I am a fighter 
pilot from Battlestar Galactica.  Sheesh, some of you are really slow, I mean Wit 7 
slow! -- Starbuck

     Nah, just really ornery.

Val Bemeriki -- I think you've proven your point. -- Bubbles

All -- Greetings!  I'm Liberty Belle from Riztab, a member of the Powerpuff Girls 
stable, here to see what everyone's got!  (And give Bubbles a hand, since she doesn't 
look too good right now.)  Fight on! -- Liberty Belle

All -- Be afraid, which is to say, express fear and trepidation, for I, Mojo Jojo, am 
coming to this arena soon, but not of my own accord, that is, I, Mojo Jojo, did not 
wish to be sent to the Home Guard, but I, Mojo Jojo, wish to continue to be employed 
as a gladiator, so I, Mojo Jojo, must follow the directions given to me by my 
manager, The Narrator, and leave Darkholm to fight here.  I, Mojo Jojo, am prepared 
to test my skills against those of the warriors to be found in this arena.  --Mojo 
Jojo, formerly of Kolact and Darkholm

     I think I've heard about you.

Sir Cuitous -- Another overrated sir aglio. -- R'Shann

Olaf Modeen -- We'll try to do our part. -- Overlords

     Thanks, that is always appreciated.

Home Guard -- Anyone getting forced out at the split? -- Overlords

Sunny Brae -- Though you come in the guise of sunlight and happiness, I know you have 
darkness in the depths of your soul.  I am the one who seeks out such darkness that 
it may be stamped out, clobbered and given a stern talking to.  I am the one that 
evil things fear.  I AM the one who validates the parking of just people everywhere!  
I *am* the Obsessed Avenger!

     Absolutely.

Joe King -- You see, when someone said Joe, I thought they meant the coffee service 
was ready.  That's why I leapt forward like that.  I just didn't realize you were 
standing in the way at the time. -- Caffeine Achiever

     Just an ol' accident.

Com Dot -- Are you just a shorter way of saying semi-colon? -- Spaz Ghost

Lethe -- Hey!  Don't you know hit-and-run is illegal?  Next time you hit someone, you 
should stop and exchange info. -- Nediam Nori

Emerald Dragonfly -- Obviously costume jewelry. -- Uu Doewanakno

Sumthing Painful -- Welcome brother!  You finally made it. -- ToraToraTorres, Andar, 
Oden Warfiend, & Xiss

Strongest #3 -- A good try, but not quite good enough.  I'm wonderfully stubborn, you 
see. -- Hallie O'Dene

Hockey Duck -- Take that, you Fowl Fiend!  Let it be a LESSON to you in the folly of 
attempt to fight your betters, ESPECIALLY when they are fellow fowl!  Concentrate 
your attention on all the sneaky, hairy, toothy mammals around here, fool fowl. -- 
Ski Mask, Founder and President Ducks With Swords

Fountains of Wayne -- (curled lip of scorn)  Beer, I see.  Bad choice, my good man.  
Pure water, that is what you want to circulate. -- Carrie Nation
P.S.  Your loss is entirely attributable to the pollution of your bloodstream with 
alcohol.

Qrappy -- Just because of that, I will NOT share my fresh, hot, apple crumble with 
you. -- Delice the Red
P.S.  And I used Granny Smith's apples, which makes it even better.

Nediam Nori -- Ma'am, I think you're confused there.  I was not, repeat NOT, seeking 
a kill. -- Lethe

     Yeah, yeah, they all say that.

Drake Master -- What a beauty!  Push that Berserker all the way up to the top spot.  
Lightning will strike again. -- #3

Suckboy -- Congrats upon your TITLE opportunity.  I am still stuck back here in Poh. 
-- #3

Herlas Gasius -- The numerous tales about your ledgendary inability to hold wind for 
long, malinger here still... as does your mortifying flatulence. -- #3

29 September 2003
All -- Let it be known that the Firm accepts SOL into its ranks.  The Firm is:
SunGod, Dark Spirit, Youngblood, Tripwire, and SOL.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

UU DOEWANAKNO devastated BEAUTY QUEEN in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
CLOUDS AWAY demolished LETHE in a popular 1 minute one-sided Challenge melee.
TALOS was vanquished by SORROW in a popular 2 minute mismatched Challenge Title brawl.
SPAZ GHOST overpowered PRIMUS in a crowd pleasing 5 minute mismatched Challenge match.
OBSESSED AVENGER was outlasted by DIRT WORM in a exciting 8 minute Challenge struggle.
CAFFIENE ACHIEVER was devastated by MASHER in a 1 minute Challenge competition.
KYLIE was overcome by STRONGEST #3 in a 1 minute Challenge melee.
APPLE JACK vanquished WURP in a 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
JACK SPRAT overpowered TICKLES in a popular 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
VAL BEMERIKI was overpowered by BUBBLES in a 1 minute uneven Challenge match.
MIME was overpowered by SPAZZ in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
AVARICIOUS AVON was demolished by AVALANCHE in a 1 minute Challenge competition.
ROT TEN EGGS devastated SABLE in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided Challenge battle.
THE FRATSFAN CHEF handily defeated MIGHTY MITE in a 2 minute Challenge conflict.
BURGER KING devastated JUGGLER in a exciting 1 minute bloody uneven Challenge duel.
STARBUCK was devastated by NEVERMORE in a exciting 1 minute one-sided Challenge brawl.
EMILY subdued W.T. POOH in a exciting 2 minute Challenge bout.
PREACHER savagely defeated OSCAR in a crowd pleasing 4 minute bloody Challenge fight.
FOREVER MAN unbelievably bested MOD COD in a 2 minute gory Challenge bout.
LUNA TYCK lost to CARRIE NATION in a popular 2 minute gruesome Challenge match.
TORLEC was vanquished by NEDIAM NORI in a popular 1 minute mismatched Challenge fray.
KRAC D'CHEVALIERS demolished FUNKY ELVIS in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
FOUNTAINS OF WAYNE vanquished ONE A DAY in a 3 minute one-sided Challenge match.
ROGAN was overpowered by XISS in a 1 minute uneven Challenge match.
ROWDY YOBBO was overpowered by BEER GOGGLES in a 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
FILI LIU was overcome by TORATORATORRES in a 2 minute Challenge bout.
PERFECT TEN viciously subdued SIR VILE in a exciting 3 minute gory Challenge duel.
NASTY NITTERS was overpowered by SKI MASK in a popular 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
R'SHANN savagely defeated ROLEX WATCH in a popular 2 minute brutal fight.
BLACK RHINO was beaten by STEVE MCQUEEN in a action packed 1 minute bout.
EMERALD DRAGONFLY demolished QRAPPY in a popular 1 minute bloody uneven contest.
KAIDEN subdued HALLIE O'DENE in a crowd pleasing 1 minute match.
SIR CUITOUS savagely defeated HAPPY JACK in a 3 minute gory fray.
50 SUCKS subdued ARENAMASTER AZEEM in a crowd pleasing 3 minute match.
COM DOT demolished CRUSADER LORD in a popular 1 minute one-sided duel.
PARADISE PARROT was vanquished by JOE KING in a exciting 1 minute mismatched bout.
DELICE THE RED was viciously butchered by LOOMING BIRD in a 2 minute brutal duel.
X THE BOLD was defeated by NED THE JANITOR in a 1 minute battle.
TSUNAMI was vanquished by BLUE in a exciting 1 minute mismatched duel.
MISER overcame EXILE in a crowd pleasing 3 minute duel.
KOOKABURRA overpowered LIBERTY BELLE in a 1 minute one-sided brawl.
ANGAR was viciously subdued by PURPLE DONKEY in a crowd pleasing 3 minute melee.
KONGOL beat SUMTHING PAINFUL in a exciting 1 minute fight.
GLORY HOLE was luckily beaten by ANDAR in a popular 1 minute gory duel.
MUMMY was handily defeated by JUSTICE in a action packed 1 minute mismatched bout.
KOGITSUNE MARU was demolished by LYTA ALEXANDER in a 1 minute mismatched match.
TOTALLY PAR beat IPECAC in a exciting 2 minute battle.
TUTANKHAMUN overpowered ODEN WARFIEND in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
THREEKARD devastated HIGH GUN in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided conflict.
QUIBBLE subdued HOCKEY DUCK in a crowd pleasing 5 minute gory battle.
GAR & BRILL bested MEAN SPIRIT in a exciting 1 minute match.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  28         PARRY-LUNGE       33 -  19 -  1      63  |
|WALL OF STEEL                   18         PARRY-STRIKE      27 -  22 -  0      55  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                 15         TOTAL PARRY       46 -  41 -  0      53  |
|BASHING ATTACK                  11         WALL OF STEEL     77 -  70 -  0      52  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      7         LUNGING ATTACK   109 - 103 -  2      51  |
|AIMED BLOW                       6         AIMED BLOW        23 -  22 -  0      51  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     5         SLASHING ATTACK   24 -  23 -  2      51  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  4         BASHING ATTACK    57 -  61 -  1      48  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      4         STRIKING ATTACK   56 -  80 -  2      41  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         PARRY-RIPOSTE      8 -  12 -  0      40  |

Turn 361 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

AIMED BLOW         5 -  1     LUNGING ATTACK    12 - 16         3  PARRY-STRIKE   
SLASHING ATTACK    3 -  1     WALL OF STEEL      6 - 12         3  WALL OF STEEL  
BASHING ATTACK     7 -  4                                       2  LUNGING ATTACK 
PARRY-STRIKE       3 -  2                                       2  TOTAL PARRY    
TOTAL PARRY        4 -  3                                       1  STRIKING ATTACK
STRIKING ATTACK    8 -  7     
PARRY-LUNGE        2 -  2     
PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  1     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
LUNGING ATTACK   SORROW 1-2863              33  22  2  276 SWEORDMASTERS (1210)
PARRY-STRIKE     R'SHANN 20-577             47  36  3  234 OVERLORDS (30)
TOTAL PARRY      SPAZ GHOST 47-4161         41  20  1  233 DRAKE'S COMICS (1112)
STRIKING ATTACK  UU DOEWANAKNO 73-1414      23   7  1  217 DRAKE'S LODGE (1206)
WALL OF STEEL    50 SUCKS 60-4129           53  31  0  205 JOKA MASHER! (833)
SLASHING ATTACK  EMERALD DRAGONFLY 60-2586  62  59  2  189 MAGICK (955)
AIMED BLOW       STEVE MCQUEEN 47-3908      30  33  1  186 ROYAL FLUSH (146)
BASHING ATTACK   MASHER 60-4553             34  34  3  181 JOKA MASHER! (833)
PARRY-LUNGE      NEVERMORE 1-5260           22  20  2  145 LAB EXPERIMENTS (1207)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    HOCKEY DUCK 39-937         24  14  1   55 DUCKS UNLIMITED (1221)

The overall popularity leader is KAIDEN 35-3108.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was SPAZ GHOST 47-4161.  The ten other most popular fighters were PREACHER 7-5083, 
EXILE 7-4618, THE FRATSFAN CHEF 30-4385, SIR VILE 10-4754, OBSESSED AVENGER 15-2162, 
CARRIE NATION 64-4054, FOUNTAINS OF WAYNE 98-809, EMILY 17-5753, PURPLE DONKEY 
30-2751, and PERFECT TEN 47-4218.

The least popular fighter this week was HIGH GUN 15-4386.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were ODEN WARFIEND 11-1335, KOGITSUNE MARU 1-5298, LIBERTY BELLE 
12-5448, ROWDY YOBBO 20-3429, ROGAN 97-980, ONE A DAY 98-799, FUNKY ELVIS 30-2754, 
STARBUCK 6-5387, JUGGLER 2-4965, and AVARICIOUS AVON 63-2388.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
MORDANT(1)           2  1 0  IAYE(30)             2  1 0  DELARQ TOR(58)       1  1 0  
NIANIA(2)            0  4 0  CHIMLEVTAL(31)       2  2 0  ARADI(60)            3  0 0  
TRANSEL(6)           0  1 0  ARVAT(32)            0  1 0  AMEN-TEI(63)         0  2 0  
BONSUR(7)            2  1 0  NIYTYOLE ISLAND(33)  4  2 0  KURUKAR(64)          1  0 0  
ZUKAL(9)             0  2 0  MURSKA(35)           1  0 0  DAL SHANG(65)        2  0 0  
KOLACT(10)           2  6 0  CLIFFHOME(38)        2  0 0  TARRGIR(66)          1  0 0  
ARUAK CITY(11)       3  2 0  XOCHITHLAN(39)       0  1 0  KYR'TERR(71)         2  2 0  
RIZTAB(12)           1  1 0  ZENSU(40)            1  0 0  ERINIKA(73)          2  0 0  
MALCORN(15)          0  3 0  STORMCROWE(45)       0  1 0  JADE MOUNTAIN(75)    1  1 0  
ALJAFIR(17)          1  0 0  NORTH FORK(47)       9  1 0  DWES EG(82)          3  1 1  
TALCAMA(18)          0  1 0  SNOWBOUND(50)        1  1 0  SHADOW GROVE(97)     0  1 0  
ZUWAYZA(19)          0  1 0  TRICORUS(51)         0  1 0  SYVYN'S HILL(98)     1  2 0  
SEAM(20)             1  1 0  KHALANI(55)          0  1 0  SOUTH RIDGE(99)      0  1 0  
SUNSET(21)           0  1 0  ROCANIS(56)          0  1 0  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 SORROW 1-2863               33  22  2  276  SWEORDMASTERS (1210)       MORDANT
 MIME 2-4966                 22  14  3  130  HARLEQUINS (1186)          NIANIA
 STARBUCK 6-5387             26  16  0  119  SCIENCE FICTION (1152)     TRANSEL
 PREACHER 7-5083             22   9  2  117  THRILLZ & KILLZ (1211)     BONSUR
 TICKLES 9-3486              35  56  1  124  MY PETS (554)              ZUKAL
 SIR CUITOUS 10-4514         38  23  0  203  SIR AGLIO (788)            KOLACT
 SUMTHING PAINFUL 11-4735    20  19  0   80  U.B.O.S.M. (1184)          ARUAK CITY
 BUBBLES 12-4981             24  42  1  145  POWERPUFF GIRLS (1145)     RIZTAB
 OBSESSED AVENGER 15-2162    39  40  1  204  DRAKE'S BAR-B-Q (313)      MALCORN
 EMILY 17-5753               25  15  0  138  BLADES OF STEEL (1068)     ALJAFIR
 KYLIE 18-6057               23  20  1  156  UNTOUCHABLES (1190)        TALCAMA
 HAPPY JACK 19-4086          36  26  2  172  THE MOTHERSHIP (1148)      ZUWAYZA
 R'SHANN 20-577              47  36  3  234  OVERLORDS (30)             SEAM
 PRIMUS 21-4975              36  12  0  196  REAL BEER (1116)           SUNSET
 THE FRATSFAN CHEF 30-4385   19   6  0  135  ANDORIAN UNIVERSITY (1213) IAYE
 TALOS 31-2069               45  18  0  193  THE STORMGUARDS (132)      CHIMLEVTAL
 ROLEX WATCH 32-3732         40  32  0  199  LUST MUPPETS (1099)        ARVAT
 SPAZZ 33-6207               36  26  0  164  SNOTZI'S II (813)          NIYTYOLE ISLAND
 KAIDEN 35-3108              74  75  2  205  VIOLENT FEMS (972)         MURSKA
 GAR & BRILL 38-4252         19  20  0   75  JUST BECAUSE (1228)        CLIFFHOME
 HOCKEY DUCK 39-937          24  14  1   55  DUCKS UNLIMITED (1221)     XOCHITHLAN
 STRONGEST #3 40-173         46  88  1  171  SOLARAN BERSERK (949)      ZENSU
 IPECAC 45-3625              13   7  0   55  EMETICS (1242)             STORMCROWE
 SPAZ GHOST 47-4161          41  20  1  233  DRAKE'S COMICS (1112)      NORTH FORK
 OSCAR 50-3153               28   6  0   96  OPEN SESAME (824)          SNOWBOUND
 VAL BEMERIKI 51-5018        37  26  3  117  GENOCIDE (1109)            TRICORUS
 MOD COD 55-2638             39  73  1   54  RHYME TYME (449)           KHALANI
 DELICE THE RED 56-3401      38  46  1  138  BAD APPLES (1091)          ROCANIS
 HALLIE O'DENE 58-6018       42  55  0  179  CIRQUE DU MASQUES (1093)   DELARQ TOR
 50 SUCKS 60-4129            53  31  0  205  JOKA MASHER! (833)         ARADI
 AVARICIOUS AVON 63-2388     22  18  0  112  TOMATO ENFORCER (1193)     AMEN-TEI
 CARRIE NATION 64-4054       35  64  0   85  REFORMERS (1095)           KURUKAR
 COM DOT 65-6217             38  22  0  195  TOO GOOD FOR ME (1054)     DAL SHANG
 NED THE JANITOR 66-2973     22  21  0  131  ANDORIAN UNIVERSITY (1123) TARRGIR
 BLACK RHINO 71-1834         36  26  1  170  EDGE OF EXTINCTION (973)   KYR'TERR
 UU DOEWANAKNO 73-1414       23   7  1  217  DRAKE'S LODGE (1206)       ERINIKA
 AVALANCHE 75-2213           19   3  1  138  FORCE OF NATURE (747)      JADE MOUNTAIN
 DIRT WORM 82-2315           55  25  0  211  VERMIN!! (1124)            DWES EG
 ROGAN 97-980                 6  13  4   28  BLIND LUCK (1183)          SHADOW GROVE
 FOUNTAINS OF WAYNE 98-809    9   7  4   68  COLLEGE RADIO (1223)       SYVYN'S HILL
 MUMMY 99-853                 7   9  5   22  IKER'S CORPSES (1225)      SOUTH RIDGE