AD
Date : 05/19/2004 Duedate: 06/01/2004
HOME GUARD
DM-101 TURN-376
RANK TEAMS W L K % RANK TEAMS W L K %
1 COLLEGE RADI 98/1223 125 68 0 64.8 FROM THE FACE 18/1265
BIG APPLE MENACE 65/836 RESURRECTION 2/1065
2 BLADES OF ICE 7/162 326 243 6 57.3 14-INDIFFERENCE 7/1250 25 26 1 49.0
BLADES OF STEEL 17/1068 INSIGNIFICANCE 74/1266
3 CARTOUCHE 71/1111 514 407 4 55.8 15 DRAKE'S BAR-B 15/313 159 172 5 48.0
4 FARSCAPE 10/1277 5 4 0 55.6 DRAKE'S PETTING ZOO 33/1075
GUARDIANS 43/1287 16 UNTOUCHABLES 18/1190 13 17 0 43.3
THE BLUES 20/1286 17 HARM NONE 82/1297 42 56 0 42.9
THE MUPPETS 54/1289 ITALIAN LOVERS 45/1288
5 4-LETTER ANX 82/1271 245 203 1 54.7 ECHL-SOUTH 71/1291
ORGAN ON THE SANDS 96/1272 HARE CONTROL 59/1290
ORGANS ON THE SAND 97/1273 THAI INQUISITION 71/1292
WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY 82/1274 103RD TROOPERS 17/1285
6 QUBIT 10/1136 741 620 5 54.4 PARKO RAMA 82/1296
JOKA MASHER! 60/833 LAME ALLIANCES 74/1294
TRIPLE CROWN 15/990 LEGENDS OF EGYPT 82/1295
SIR AGLIO 10/788 18 VIOLENT FEMS 35/972 385 518 9 42.6
VERMIN!! 82/1124 JUST BECAUSE 38/1228
SNOTZI'S II 33/813 19 FA CHING 60/1279 16 25 1 39.0
VERMIN! 82/1267 SUPERIOR KILLS 98/1229
JOKA MASHER 82/917 20 MY PETS 9/554 455 719 11 38.8
7 SEA DOGS 18/426 23 20 0 53.5 RHYME TYME 55/449
8 MAGIC MAYHEM 73/1298 16 14 0 53.3 GIRL SCOUT COOKIES 33/812
SCREEN DREAMS 47/1299 21-MY DRUGS 98/1222 14 23 0 37.8
9 ROYAL FLUSH 47/146 675 644 10 51.2 22 REFORMERS 64/1095 428 723 3 37.2
INGRATE WHITE NORTH 60/1006 CIRQUE DU MASQUES 58/1093
10 ALL FINESSE 38/1236 51 49 0 51.0 BAD APPLES 56/1091
SUGAR AND SPICE 7/1231 23-POWERPUFF GI 12/1145 22 46 0 32.4
BATHTUB ARMADA 7/1196 24 GODDESSES 73/1293 3 7 0 30.0
11 EMETICS 45/1242 46 46 0 50.0 25 AMERICAN APPR 3/1268 2 7 0 22.2
BUMS 'R' US 60/1142 26 KIDS GONE BAD 3/1281 1 0 0 100
JOYS OF BOOZE 33/1209 27-THE MC5 24/1283 1 1 0 50.0
12-OVERLORDS 20/30 127 129 2 49.6 THE HEADCUTTERS II 11/1282
THE STORMGUARDS 31/132 THAT 80'S METAL 40/1284
13 NINJAS 7/1060 186 192 2 49.2
'##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id '-' Team did not fight this turn
REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER
You were expecting, maybe, Olaf Modeen? Ha! This is his evil twin brother, you
can call me Ogre Modeen. Olaf's as dead as this arena, but *I* am not. Although
looking around at this morgue, I might as well be.
Vir made these notes, so blame HIM if this stuff sounds screwy. Triple Crown is
standing alone on a mountain top in Darien. Drake's Betting Zoo is somewhere in the
woods below, doing something important that is not fighting.
Ski Mask has good oral hygiene. That, at least, has got to be wrong. Ducks
don't do oral hygiene.
No standbys fought, which is good. Uppity bunch, and if you let 'em fight, they
get worse.
The Infirmary blokes say nobody died. How can they tell? Even dead frogs
twitch.
There were thirty-two fights, which is pathetic. There should be a hundred
active warriors in here, at least! I blame it on those over-skilled louts in Primus.
Everybody's watching THEM to see what astonishing abilities they brought back from
the Gate, which in truth was nothing new, just more of the same. But the action
follows the audience, and everybody else follows suit. Well, except the lazy bums in
Talahya, but who cares about them?
CREDIT LINE (82-1366) (0-8-0,47) of WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY fought QUIBBLE (10-
4756) (21-43-0,69) of QUBIT. CREDIT LINE was beaten by QUIBBLE in a 1 minute fray.
Does anybody care about warriors with records like this? I include it because of
Credit Line's spectacular history, of course.
A. CAPONE (18-3228) (14-14-3,50) of UNTOUCHABLES fought PUTZ'N ALONG (60-5437)
(30-28-0,45) of JOKA MASHER! A. CAPONE was luckily beaten by PUTZ'N ALONG in an
exciting 3 minute brutal fight. This wasn't bad, actually, we need more brutal
fights.
GLORY HOLE (98-870) (7-17-4,59) of SUPERIOR KILLS fought BECKY (17-5782) (10-1-
2,66) of BLADES OF STEEL. GLORY HOLE was defeated by BECKY in an exciting 1 minute
match. Gods, look at Becky's record! This place is filling up with CHILDREN.
SATOSHI KUNO (7-5229) (20-15-0,77) of NINJAS fought EXILE (7-4618) (21-18-1,62)
of BLADES OF ICE. SATOSHI KUNO was savagely defeated by EXILE in an action packed 3
minute fight. Maybe the Ninjas should be renamed "Sushi."
NUTCRACKER (38-4380) (18-3-1,58) of ALL FINESSE fought QUONSET (10-4990) (24-18-
0,56) of QUBIT. NUTCRACKER lost to QUONSET in a 1 minute bout. Gods, I hope so! A
mincing toe-dancer? No way this Nutcracker should win. Home Guard is--or used to
be--the home of REAL men.
GAR & BRILL (38-4252) (23-30-0,80) of JUST BECAUSE fought AERYN SUN (10-4268)
(18-10-0,89) of FARSCAPE. GAR & BRILL was overpowered by AERYN SUN in a crowd
pleasing 1 minute one-sided fray. And this Aeryn character won why? Just because.
HIGH GUN (15-4386) (20-23-2,100) of TRIPLE CROWN fought FEAR (82-10416) (17-27-
1,69) of 4-LETTER ANXIETY. HIGH GUN viciously subdued FEAR in an action packed 2
minute gruesome bout. Right, this is what your trainers tell you to do, right?
Stamp out fear. A warrior's worst enemy. Etc.
MAN O' WAR (15-4517) (20-6-1,93) of TRIPLE CROWN fought MINOR THREAT (3-3108)
(21-8-2,76) of KIDS GONE BAD. MAN O' WAR was vanquished by MINOR THREAT in an
exciting 4 minute one-sided fight. And if a "minor threat" can do that, what does it
tell you about the so-called "man o'war"?
KOOKABURRA (33-4151) (47-66-2,97) of GIRL SCOUT COOKIES fought RAISON D'ETRE (7-
5311) (18-15-3,81) of BATHTUB ARMADA. KOOKABURRA lost to RAISON D'ETRE in a popular
1 minute match. Raisin isn't spelled with an O, boys.
BRICK (20-389) (35-31-0,134) of THE BLUES fought MOD COD (55-2638) (49-77-1,129)
of RHYME TYME. BRICK was defeated by MOD COD in a popular 1 minute gory match. This
is a brick? ONE minute to lose? A REAL brick would have stood there for HOURS.
SCOOTER (54-118) (19-8-1,117) of THE MUPPETS fought NUTMEG (7-5167) (19-14-1,93)
of SUGAR AND SPICE. SCOOTER lost to NUTMEG in a crowd pleasing 1 minute fray. Gods,
muppets. Sugar and spice. What is this, some kind of pink tea party? Were there
lace doilies? Did you have FUN?
BUDDERCUP (60-5967) (32-29-0,143) of BUMS 'R' US fought YELLOWBEARD (18-2149)
(27-11-0,150) of SEA DOGS. BUDDERCUP overpowered YELLOWBEARD in a popular 2 minute
gruesome one-sided duel. Buddercup? Gods, I'm so disillusioned! What happened to
warriors with TOUGH names like Bloodlust? We must have a hundred Bloodlusts on the
Isle, where are they?
AEDON (7-4295) (35-17-1,115) of BLADES OF ICE fought DITCH RAT (82-15360) (22-
21-3,116) of VERMIN! AEDON unbelievably bested DITCH RAT in a crowd pleasing 5
minute gory competition. Good job on the gore, Aedon. We want to see MORE of that.
LOTS of gore. The crowds love it, and a happy crowd is a crowd that comes back for
more.
DIRT WORM (82-2315) (62-32-0,177) of VERMIN!! fought PERFECT TEN (47-4218) (26-
19-1,133) of ROYAL FLUSH. DIRT WORM savagely defeated PERFECT TEN in an exciting 7
minute gory bout. A WORM? This fight was won by a squirmy, disgusting, slimy WORM?
TICKLES (9-3486) (42-63-1,171) of MY PETS fought KAIDEN (35-3108) (82-81-2,156)
of VIOLENT FEMS. TICKLES devastated KAIDEN in an exciting 1 minute one-sided fight.
Oh, right, "Make love, not war," that's the motto, isn't it? Bunch of lily-livered,
ah... lilies, that's what you are.
ROT TEN EGGS (47-3099) (35-31-0,157) of ROYAL FLUSH fought TUTANKHAMUN (71-3357)
(26-15-0,116) of CARTOUCHE. ROT TEN EGGS beat TUTANKHAMUN in a crowd pleasing 2
minute brawl. Okay, I can go with this. Rotten eggs sounds like JUST the remedy for
somebody's dear old mummy. The arena is no place for a mummy.
SIR VILE (10-4754) (26-23-1,165) of SIR AGLIO fought APPLE JACK (47-4011) (29-
20-4,178) of ROYAL FLUSH. SIR VILE bested APPLE JACK in an action packed 1 minute
duel. Of course. Any gladiator worth his wine can deal with something exotic like
apple jack just as well. Getting drunk is what gladiators DO, besides fight. It's
in the oath y'all sign when you come to the Isle.
DELICE THE RED (56-3401) (47-51-1,198) of BAD APPLES fought SPAZZ (33-6207) (41-
35-0,155) of SNOTZI'S II. DELICE THE RED handily defeated SPAZZ in a popular 1
minute uneven fight. You know, we should never have allowed women to become
gladiators. It's against the proper order of things. It'll give 'em ideas they
shouldn't have. Sets bad precedents, too.
BLACK HOLE SCRAG (43-3220) (28-17-1,181) of GUARDIANS fought JOE KING (47-2223)
(29-47-1,180) of ROYAL FLUSH. BLACK HOLE SCRAG devastated JOE KING in a 1 minute
mismatched bout. Amazing how often you see things like that happening. This is no
world for kings.
Marginally more interesting, the challenge matches.
FOUNTAINS OF WAYNE (98-809) (15-14-4,78) of COLLEGE RADIO challenged CARRIE
NATION (64-4054) (41-72-0,83) of REFORMERS. Up 5. FOUNTAINS OF WAYNE demolished
CARRIE NATION in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge match. Makes sense to me. These
Bloodgamers are fierce and don't like being told that liquor is bad for 'em.
Besides, how could it be bad for 'em? It kills worms, doesn't it?
ISHINOMORI (7-5390) (23-7-1,74) of NINJAS challenged HEART (97-1096) (6-12-4,43)
of ORGANS ON THE SAND. Down 31. ISHINOMORI handily defeated HEART in a 1 minute
one-sided Challenge bout. Very Delarquan. The win is all, and screw "how you play
the game." As long as the umpire doesn't throw you out, you're doing fine.
MORADOR (2-5089) (23-8-1,83) of RESURRECTION challenged MARY RETZLAFF (3-6119)
(17-27-1,52) of AMERICAN APPRAISAL. Down 31. Is this some magic number? MORADOR
was defeated by MARY RETZLAFF in an exciting 1 minute Challenge fight. Hmm, guess
not....
BLACKBURST (60-5025) (18-15-0,94) of FA CHING challenged KIDNEY (96-972) (12-6-
3,97) of ORGAN ON THE SANDS. Up 3. BLACKBURST overpowered KIDNEY in a 1 minute
uneven Challenge duel. They tell me Andorians EAT kidneys. For breakfast, even, and
that's a meal that should be avoided if at all possible. Remember that next time
you're think that all Andorians are softies. It takes a firm will and a steady
stomach to face a kidney over the breakfast table.
EMILY (17-5753) (26-17-0,122) of BLADES OF STEEL challenged W.T. POOH (33-4430)
(63-49-0,125) of SNOTZI'S II. Up 3. EMILY viciously subdued W.T. POOH in an action
packed 3 minute gruesome Challenge duel. Oh, gods. Emily? Winnie ther Pooh? Gods.
Pardon me while I have hysterics in the corner.
TIME SQUARE (65-4637) (26-10-0,144) of BIG APPLE MENACE challenged HALLIE O'DENE
(58-6018) (49-62-0,147) of CIRQUE DU MASQUES. Up 3. TIME SQUARE viciously subdued
HALLIE O'DENE in a 1 minute Challenge competition. Well, the wench can't say she
didn't get a "square" deal, heh heh.
LUNA TYCK (33-5761) (33-37-1,108) of DRAKE'S PETTING ZOO challenged BEER GOGGLES
(33-6819) (27-25-1,140) of JOYS OF BOOZE. Up 32. Insane. LUNA TYCK was viciously
subdued by BEER GOGGLES in a 3 minute Challenge fight. I had a pair of beer goggles
once. I used to wear 'em while diving in lakes of beer. Ah, youth....
JAKUCHU ITO (7-5102) (24-14-0,162) of NINJAS challenged KONGOL (7-4524) (31-17-
2,115) of BLADES OF ICE. Down 47, or something in that neighborhood. JAKUCHU ITO
demolished KONGOL in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge competition. Looks like some
kind of home-town rivalry going down here. Anyone going to tell us the inside dirt?
TUM (18-7380) (22-15-2,177) of FROM THE FACE challenged IPECAC (45-3625) (22-12-
0,134) of EMETICS. Down 43. TUM was devastated by IPECAC in a popular 1 minute one-
sided Challenge contest. Gotta laugh about that, although the maintenance crew that
has to clean up the sand wasn't laughing. Still, what do I care about a bunch of
broom jockies?
OBSESSED AVENGER (15-2162) (43-45-1,204) of DRAKE'S BAR-B-Q challenged MASHER
(60-4553) (44-38-3,213) of JOKA MASHER! Up 9. OBSESSED AVENGER subdued MASHER in an
action packed 1 minute Challenge fight. And now sweet young girls can walk the
streets unafarid, because that nasty Masher has been slapped on the hand and made to
stand in a corner!
A couple of TV challenges here. I guess these guys get some congratulations for
that. Might as well, since I haven't used up the day's quota of congrats yet.
MICHAEL J'EH FOX (60-5263) (17-11-2,64) of INGRATE WHITE NORTH TV challenged SKI
MASK (58-5869) (35-57-0,91) of CIRQUE DU MASQUES. Up 27. MICHAEL J'EH FOX
vanquished SKI MASK in a 1 minute uneven Challenge battle. I'd congratulate the Fox
on his win, but anybody can carve a Duck.
THUNDRA (60-5122) (25-14-1,100) of FA CHING TV challenged SPUTTER (82-15095)
(28-14-1,136) of JOKA MASHER. Up 36. THUNDRA bested SPUTTER in a crowd pleasing 4
minute Challenge fight. Oh, well, if the CROWD was pleased, who'm I to say anything?
And for the title, a random match, which is an insult to all Captains of the
Guard in the past. But it's what we've got here, so live with it. 50 SUCKS (60-
4129) (64-34-0,270) of JOKA MASHER! fought STEVE MCQUEEN (47-3908) (32-33-1,226) of
ROYAL FLUSH. 50 SUCKS was viciously subdued by STEVE MCQUEEN in an exciting 6 minute
Title contest. And I hope this means that the best man, woman, or golem has won,
because the idea of having a Captain of the Guard named 50 Sucks is, well, it makes
me blush.
Ogre Modeen
CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
STEVE MCQUEEN 47-3908 33 33 1 249 ROYAL FLUSH (146) NORTH FORK
GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
OBSESSED AVENGER 15-2162 44 45 1 213 DRAKE'S BAR-B-Q (313) MALCORN
GRAND CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
DELICE THE RED 56-3401 48 51 1 201 BAD APPLES (1091) ROCANIS
50 SUCKS 60-4129 64 35 0 198 JOKA MASHER! (833) ARADI
MASHER 60-4553 44 39 3 196 JOKA MASHER! (833) ARADI
BLACK HOLE SCRAG 43-3220 29 17 1 191 GUARDIANS (1287) VEASTIAN
-BUBBLES 12-4981 26 54 1 191 POWERPUFF GIRLS (1145) RIZTAB
SIR VILE 10-4754 27 23 1 183 SIR AGLIO (788) KOLACT
GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
DIRT WORM 82-2315 63 32 0 179 VERMIN!! (1124) DWES EG
TICKLES 9-3486 43 63 1 179 MY PETS (554) ZUKAL
JOE KING 47-2223 29 48 1 173 ROYAL FLUSH (146) NORTH FORK
IPECAC 45-3625 23 12 0 171 EMETICS (1242) STORMCROWE
BUDDERCUP 60-5967 33 29 0 168 BUMS 'R' US (1142) ARADI
APPLE JACK 47-4011 29 21 4 167 ROYAL FLUSH (146) NORTH FORK
JAKUCHU ITO 7-5102 25 14 0 167 NINJAS (1060) BONSUR
ROT TEN EGGS 47-3099 36 31 0 159 ROYAL FLUSH (146) NORTH FORK
SPAZZ 33-6207 41 36 0 156 SNOTZI'S II (813) NIYTYOLE ISLAND
TIME SQUARE 65-4637 27 10 0 154 BIG APPLE MENACE (836) DAL SHANG
GRAND ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
KAIDEN 35-3108 82 82 2 150 VIOLENT FEMS (972) MURSKA
PERFECT TEN 47-4218 26 20 1 150 ROYAL FLUSH (146) NORTH FORK
TUM 18-7380 22 16 2 148 FROM THE FACE (1265) TALCAMA
HALLIE O'DENE 58-6018 49 63 0 144 CIRQUE DU MASQUES (1093) DELARQ TOR
BEER GOGGLES 33-6819 28 25 1 142 JOYS OF BOOZE (1209) NIYTYOLE ISLAND
MOD COD 55-2638 50 77 1 140 RHYME TYME (449) KHALANI
EMILY 17-5753 27 17 0 139 BLADES OF STEEL (1068) ALJAFIR
YELLOWBEARD 18-2149 27 12 0 137 SEA DOGS (426) TALCAMA
THUNDRA 60-5122 26 14 1 133 FA CHING (1279) ARADI
BRICK 20-389 35 32 0 126 THE BLUES (1286) SEAM
AEDON 7-4295 36 17 1 125 BLADES OF ICE (162) BONSUR
GRAND ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
TUTANKHAMUN 71-3357 26 16 0 125 CARTOUCHE (1111) KYR'TERR
W.T. POOH 33-4430 63 50 0 121 SNOTZI'S II (813) NIYTYOLE ISLAND
KONGOL 7-4524 31 18 2 120 BLADES OF ICE (162) BONSUR
SPUTTER 82-15095 28 15 1 119 JOKA MASHER (917) DWES EG
DITCH RAT 82-15360 22 22 3 118 VERMIN! (1267) DWES EG
NUTMEG 7-5167 20 14 1 117 SUGAR AND SPICE (1231) BONSUR
LUNA TYCK 33-5761 33 38 1 113 DRAKE'S PETTING ZOO (1075) NIYTYOLE ISLAND
BLACKBURST 60-5025 19 15 0 109 FA CHING (1279) ARADI
HIGH GUN 15-4386 21 23 2 102 TRIPLE CROWN (990) MALCORN
SCOOTER 54-118 19 9 1 102 THE MUPPETS (1289) TROCAR
GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
MINOR THREAT 3-3108 22 8 2 100 KIDS GONE BAD (1281) OSKSI
AERYN SUN 10-4268 19 10 0 98 FARSCAPE (1277) KOLACT
RAISON D'ETRE 7-5311 19 15 3 94 BATHTUB ARMADA (1196) BONSUR
FOUNTAINS OF WAYNE 98-809 16 14 4 92 COLLEGE RADIO (1223) SYVYN'S HILL
-PIYA 71-5625 8 2 0 91 THAI INQUISITION (1292) KYR'TERR
GRAND INITIATES W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
MICHAEL J'EH FOX 60-5263 18 11 2 88 INGRATE WHITE NORTH (1006) ARADI
KIDNEY 96-972 12 7 3 86 ORGAN ON THE SANDS (1272) OLD VALAMANTIS
KOOKABURRA 33-4151 47 67 2 85 GIRL SCOUT COOKIES (812) NIYTYOLE ISLAND
MARY RETZLAFF 3-6119 18 27 1 82 AMERICAN APPRAISAL (1268) OSKSI
EXILE 7-4618 22 18 1 81 BLADES OF ICE (162) BONSUR
MAN O' WAR 15-4517 20 7 1 81 TRIPLE CROWN (990) MALCORN
ISHINOMORI 7-5390 24 7 1 76 NINJAS (1060) BONSUR
GAR & BRILL 38-4252 23 31 0 74 JUST BECAUSE (1228) CLIFFHOME
FEAR 82-10416 17 28 1 72 4-LETTER ANXIETY (1271) DWES EG
BECKY 17-5782 11 1 2 72 BLADES OF STEEL (1068) ALJAFIR
CARRIE NATION 64-4054 41 73 0 71 REFORMERS (1095) KURUKAR
QUIBBLE 10-4756 22 43 0 71 QUBIT (1136) KOLACT
QUONSET 10-4990 25 18 0 70 QUBIT (1136) KOLACT
SKI MASK 58-5869 35 58 0 69 CIRQUE DU MASQUES (1093) DELARQ TOR
SATOSHI KUNO 7-5229 20 16 0 65 NINJAS (1060) BONSUR
MORADOR 2-5089 23 9 1 62 RESURRECTION (1065) NIANIA
GLORY HOLE 98-870 7 18 4 59 SUPERIOR KILLS (1229) SYVYN'S HILL
PUTZ'N ALONG 60-5437 31 28 0 54 JOKA MASHER! (833) ARADI
NUTCRACKER 38-4380 18 4 1 54 ALL FINESSE (1236) CLIFFHOME
-PRIZMATYK WAHL 73-4252 15 6 1 52 MAGIC MAYHEM (1298) ERINIKA
-PERCY QUIN 82-4728 6 0 0 48 PARKO RAMA (1296) DWES EG
CREDIT LINE 82-1366 0 9 0 48 WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY (1274 DWES EG
A. CAPONE 18-3228 14 15 3 46 UNTOUCHABLES (1190) TALCAMA
HEART 97-1096 6 13 4 45 ORGANS ON THE SAND (1273) SHADOW GROVE
'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.
THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN
PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE
6 May 2004
DEATH FEST
The ferocious ghosts of former glories whispered across the wind swept sands of
DM 59; agonizing incessantly due to the diminutive demise of the Delarq arena known
as Illis.
Tattered banners and forgotten memories wailed in the wind for a dynamic death
march to dawn once more upon the blood stained sands of the Delarq slow arena.
The distant call crying for a declaration of restoration amidst the ruin of the
all but forgotten Delarq arena carried to the far corners of Alastari; drawing the
Devious, the Diabolical, the Dangerous and the Down Challenging to cross blades and
wage warfare among an assemblage of new stables managed by the Known and Unknown;
willing to spill fresh blood, while carving their destiny during 15 Rounds of contest
driven combat to be known as the "Illis Incredibly Diabolical Delarq Death Fest".
A lone cloaked figure huddled by lamplight in a remote outpost near the
crossroads of ElseWhere and ElseWhen; feverishly formulating the foundational
framework for the dawning of the Delarq Death Fest in DM 59, complete with
Gladiatorial Commission sanctioned prizes to promote the growing thirst for a Delarq
Slow Arena Death Festival.
Delarq Death Fest Opening Round debuts the first turn immediately following the
Summer 2004 F2F Tourney and continues through the completion of 15 consecutive
rounds.
Death Fest points are Won or Lost ONLY in the DM 59 Delarq Slow Arena [Tourneys
DO NOT Add or Subtract from the Death Fest Point Scoring System]:
Death Fest Scoring Format:
Win =3D +2 pts
Loss =3D -1 pt
Kill =3D +5 pts [in addition to +2 pts for Win]
Death =3D -3 pts [in addition to 1 pt for Loss]
Dark Arena Kill =3D +10 pts [in addition to +2 pts for Win]
Dark Arena Death =3D -5 pts [in addition to 1 pt for Loss]
Revenged Blood Feud =3D +5 pts [successful Revenged Blood Feud provides Death Fest
contestants the opportunity to cancel out 3 pts for Death and 1 pt for Loss; while
gaining +1 pt overall for the Revenged Blood Feud in addition to the +2 pts for Win]
DEATH FEST PRIZES will be awarded to the Top Ten Death Fest Stables on the basis
of Total Points*** accumulated during the 15 rounds of competition as follows:
1. Favorite Weapon Knowledge for 1 (one) warrior ranked Initiate or higher on the
Final Round to be revealed by RSI to each of the Top Ten Death Fest Stables
2. Renaming of Dark Arena Monsters and NPCs [yet to be determined according to how
many DA Monsters and NPCs are available in DM 59 for Renaming]
3. The Top Five Death Fest Stables will receive New Team Rollup Certificates as
follows: 1st (10), 2nd (8), 3rd (6), 4th (4) and 5th (2)
4. Renaming Illis Arena for 6 months plus Receiving 6 months Free Play courtesy of
RSI will be awarded to the manager of the 1st Place Death Fest Stable
5. Discussions are underway regarding a possible Special Award granted to the Illis
Iron Stable qualifiers who compete in 67 of a possible 75 fights during the course of
the 15 consecutive rounds of the Death Fest [Key Factor is How Many (?) stables will
be competing in the Death Fest without drawing away participation by current managers
in the remaining slow arenas!] Therefore, it is important for all managers entering
stables in DM 59 for the upcoming Death Fest to contact RSI as soon as possible
regarding their participation in this contest so that a Final Ruling on the proposed
Illis Iron Stable Award can be issued by RSI.
***TieBreaker is determined on the Final Round by the DM 59 Newsletter Recognition
Rankings. The stable with the Highest Ranked Active Gladiator is granted the
decision. [Example: Warrior A and Warrior B are both listed in the Recognition
Rankings with 87 pts; however, because Warrior A is listed in the Recognition
Rankings ahead of Warrior B, then Warrior A is granted the TieBreaker Decision for
His/Her stable!]
Opening Round Team Spotlight Bonus [minimum 15 paragraphs!] Each Delarq Death
Fest competitor who writes a Team Spotlight featuring their Stable (Name) and
Managerial Alias [Gladiatorial Names Optional] in regards to competing in the Delarq
Death Fest will receive 25 pts added to His/Her opening round score.
Illis Iron Stable Bonus [in addition to the proposed award awaiting RSI
approval!] Any manager whose stable competes in at least 67 of the possible 75
fights during the 15 rounds of Death Fest receives 25 points added to His/Her final
overall score [this allows each stable the cushion of missing one round of
competition; plus up to 3 additional fights due to waiting for replacement rollups
from Deaths suffered either in Tourneys or during the Death Fest contest in DM 59
over the course of 15 rounds of competition!]
Delarq Death Fest
Hosted by Hammer
[Who Else?]
LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS
THUNDRA bested SPUTTER in a crowd pleasing 4 minute Challenge fight.
MICHAEL J'EH FOX vanquished SKI MASK in a 1 minute uneven Challenge battle.
OBSESSED AVENGER subdued MASHER in a action packed 1 minute Challenge fight.
TUM was devastated by IPECAC in a popular 1 minute one-sided Challenge contest.
JAKUCHU ITO demolished KONGOL in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge competition.
LUNA TYCK was viciously subdued by BEER GOGGLES in a 3 minute Challenge fight.
TIME SQUARE viciously subdued HALLIE O'DENE in a 1 minute Challenge competition.
EMILY viciously subdued W.T. POOH in a action packed 3 minute gruesome Challenge duel.
BLACKBURST overpowered KIDNEY in a 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
MORADOR was defeated by MARY RETZLAFF in a exciting 1 minute Challenge fight.
ISHINOMORI handily defeated HEART in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
FOUNTAINS OF WAYNE demolished CARRIE NATION in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge match.
50 SUCKS was viciously subdued by STEVE MCQUEEN in a exciting 6 minute Title contest.
BLACK HOLE SCRAG devastated JOE KING in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
DELICE THE RED handily defeated SPAZZ in a popular 1 minute uneven fight.
SIR VILE bested APPLE JACK in a action packed 1 minute duel.
ROT TEN EGGS beat TUTANKHAMUN in a crowd pleasing 2 minute brawl.
TICKLES devastated KAIDEN in a exciting 1 minute one-sided fight.
DIRT WORM savagely defeated PERFECT TEN in a exciting 7 minute gory bout.
AEDON unbelievably bested DITCH RAT in a crowd pleasing 5 minute gory competition.
BUDDERCUP overpowered YELLOWBEARD in a popular 2 minute gruesome one-sided duel.
SCOOTER lost to NUTMEG in a crowd pleasing 1 minute fray.
BRICK was defeated by MOD COD in a popular 1 minute gory match.
KOOKABURRA lost to RAISON D'ETRE in a popular 1 minute match.
MAN O' WAR was vanquished by MINOR THREAT in a exciting 4 minute one-sided fight.
HIGH GUN viciously subdued FEAR in a action packed 2 minute gruesome bout.
GAR & BRILL was overpowered by AERYN SUN in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided fray.
NUTCRACKER lost to QUONSET in a 1 minute bout.
SATOSHI KUNO was savagely defeated by EXILE in a action packed 3 minute fight.
GLORY HOLE was defeated by BECKY in a exciting 1 minute match.
A. CAPONE was luckily beaten by PUTZ'N ALONG in a exciting 3 minute brutal fight.
CREDIT LINE was beaten by QUIBBLE in a 1 minute fray.
BATTLE REPORT
MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS
|FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK 18 SLASHING ATTACK 33 - 24 - 2 58 |
|AIMED BLOW 8 LUNGING ATTACK 84 - 64 - 2 57 |
|STRIKING ATTACK 8 PARRY-LUNGE 6 - 5 - 0 55 |
|WALL OF STEEL 8 TOTAL PARRY 30 - 26 - 0 54 |
|BASHING ATTACK 8 BASHING ATTACK 45 - 44 - 0 51 |
|TOTAL PARRY 6 PARRY-STRIKE 11 - 12 - 0 48 |
|SLASHING ATTACK 4 WALL OF STEEL 45 - 54 - 0 45 |
|PARRY-STRIKE 2 STRIKING ATTACK 45 - 56 - 2 45 |
|PARRY-LUNGE 2 AIMED BLOW 15 - 29 - 0 34 |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE 0 PARRY-RIPOSTE 1 - 2 - 0 33 |
Turn 376 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are:
PARRY-STRIKE 2 - 0 WALL OF STEEL 2 - 6 3 BASHING ATTACK
LUNGING ATTACK 12 - 6 BASHING ATTACK 1 - 7 2 STRIKING ATTACK
TOTAL PARRY 4 - 2 PARRY-RIPOSTE 0 - 0 2 LUNGING ATTACK
AIMED BLOW 4 - 4 1 AIMED BLOW
PARRY-LUNGE 1 - 1 1 PARRY-STRIKE
SLASHING ATTACK 2 - 2 1 WALL OF STEEL
STRIKING ATTACK 4 - 4 1 TOTAL PARRY
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE
FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME
AIMED BLOW STEVE MCQUEEN 47-3908 33 33 1 249 ROYAL FLUSH (146)
PARRY-STRIKE OBSESSED AVENGER 15-2162 44 45 1 213 DRAKE'S BAR-B-Q (313)
STRIKING ATTACK DELICE THE RED 56-3401 48 51 1 201 BAD APPLES (1091)
WALL OF STEEL 50 SUCKS 60-4129 64 35 0 198 JOKA MASHER! (833)
BASHING ATTACK MASHER 60-4553 44 39 3 196 JOKA MASHER! (833)
LUNGING ATTACK BLACK HOLE SCRAG 43-3220 29 17 1 191 GUARDIANS (1287)
TOTAL PARRY DIRT WORM 82-2315 63 32 0 179 VERMIN!! (1124)
PARRY-LUNGE LUNA TYCK 33-5761 33 38 1 113 DRAKE'S PETTING ZOO (1075)
SLASHING ATTACK MICHAEL J'EH FOX 60-5263 18 11 2 88 INGRATE WHITE NORTH (1006)
The overall popularity leader is KAIDEN 35-3108. The most popular warrior this turn
was DITCH RAT 82-15360. The ten other most popular fighters were PERFECT TEN
47-4218, THUNDRA 60-5122, STEVE MCQUEEN 47-3908, EXILE 7-4618, MAN O' WAR 15-4517, A.
CAPONE 18-3228, SPUTTER 82-15095, BEER GOGGLES 33-6819, DIRT WORM 82-2315, and EMILY
17-5753.
The least popular fighter this week was BRICK 20-389. The other ten least popular
fighters were CARRIE NATION 64-4054, HEART 97-1096, KIDNEY 96-972, KONGOL 7-4524, SKI
MASK 58-5869, QUIBBLE 10-4756, CREDIT LINE 82-1366, GLORY HOLE 98-870, NUTCRACKER
38-4380, and GAR & BRILL 38-4252.
Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K
NIANIA(2) 0 1 0 NIYTYOLE ISLAND(33) 1 4 0 DELARQ TOR(58) 0 2 0
OSKSI(3) 2 0 0 MURSKA(35) 0 1 0 ARADI(60) 5 2 0
BONSUR(7) 6 2 0 CLIFFHOME(38) 0 2 0 KURUKAR(64) 0 1 0
ZUKAL(9) 1 0 0 VEASTIAN(43) 1 0 0 DAL SHANG(65) 1 0 0
KOLACT(10) 4 0 0 STORMCROWE(45) 1 0 0 KYR'TERR(71) 0 1 0
MALCORN(15) 2 1 0 NORTH FORK(47) 2 3 0 DWES EG(82) 1 4 0
ALJAFIR(17) 2 0 0 TROCAR(54) 0 1 0 OLD VALAMANTIS(96) 0 1 0
TALCAMA(18) 0 3 0 KHALANI(55) 1 0 0 SHADOW GROVE(97) 0 1 0
SEAM(20) 0 1 0 ROCANIS(56) 1 0 0 SYVYN'S HILL(98) 1 1 0
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
MORADOR 2-5089 23 9 1 62 RESURRECTION (1065) NIANIA
MINOR THREAT 3-3108 22 8 2 100 KIDS GONE BAD (1281) OSKSI
JAKUCHU ITO 7-5102 25 14 0 167 NINJAS (1060) BONSUR
TICKLES 9-3486 43 63 1 179 MY PETS (554) ZUKAL
SIR VILE 10-4754 27 23 1 183 SIR AGLIO (788) KOLACT
OBSESSED AVENGER 15-2162 44 45 1 213 DRAKE'S BAR-B-Q (313) MALCORN
EMILY 17-5753 27 17 0 139 BLADES OF STEEL (1068) ALJAFIR
TUM 18-7380 22 16 2 148 FROM THE FACE (1265) TALCAMA
BRICK 20-389 35 32 0 126 THE BLUES (1286) SEAM
SPAZZ 33-6207 41 36 0 156 SNOTZI'S II (813) NIYTYOLE ISLAND
KAIDEN 35-3108 82 82 2 150 VIOLENT FEMS (972) MURSKA
GAR & BRILL 38-4252 23 31 0 74 JUST BECAUSE (1228) CLIFFHOME
BLACK HOLE SCRAG 43-3220 29 17 1 191 GUARDIANS (1287) VEASTIAN
IPECAC 45-3625 23 12 0 171 EMETICS (1242) STORMCROWE
STEVE MCQUEEN 47-3908 33 33 1 249 ROYAL FLUSH (146) NORTH FORK
SCOOTER 54-118 19 9 1 102 THE MUPPETS (1289) TROCAR
MOD COD 55-2638 50 77 1 140 RHYME TYME (449) KHALANI
DELICE THE RED 56-3401 48 51 1 201 BAD APPLES (1091) ROCANIS
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
HALLIE O'DENE 58-6018 49 63 0 144 CIRQUE DU MASQUES (1093) DELARQ TOR
50 SUCKS 60-4129 64 35 0 198 JOKA MASHER! (833) ARADI
CARRIE NATION 64-4054 41 73 0 71 REFORMERS (1095) KURUKAR
TIME SQUARE 65-4637 27 10 0 154 BIG APPLE MENACE (836) DAL SHANG
TUTANKHAMUN 71-3357 26 16 0 125 CARTOUCHE (1111) KYR'TERR
DIRT WORM 82-2315 63 32 0 179 VERMIN!! (1124) DWES EG
KIDNEY 96-972 12 7 3 86 ORGAN ON THE SANDS (1272) OLD VALAMANTIS
HEART 97-1096 6 13 4 45 ORGANS ON THE SAND (1273) SHADOW GROVE
FOUNTAINS OF WAYNE 98-809 16 14 4 92 COLLEGE RADIO (1223) SYVYN'S HILL