AD
Date : 06/16/2004 Duedate: 06/29/2004
HOME GUARD
DM-101 TURN-378
RANK TEAMS W L K % RANK TEAMS W L K %
1 THE ROYAL FA 19/1036 209 110 0 65.5 BATHTUB ARMADA 7/1196
2 COLLEGE RADI 98/1223 128 69 0 65.0 13-YAKUZA 8/1300 11 11 0 50.0
BIG APPLE MENACE 65/836 14 EMETICS 45/1242 48 50 0 49.0
3 BLADES OF ICE 7/162 330 244 6 57.5 BUMS 'R' US 60/1142
BLADES OF STEEL 17/1068 JOYS OF BOOZE 33/1209
4 FARSCAPE 10/1277 9 7 0 56.3 15 DRAKE'S BAR-B 15/313 161 174 5 48.1
THE MUPPETS 54/1289 DRAKE'S PETTING ZOO 33/1075
THE BLUES 20/1286 16-HARM NONE 82/1297 42 56 0 42.9
GUARDIANS 43/1287 ECHL-SOUTH 71/1291
5 MAGIC MAYHEM 73/1298 19 15 0 55.9 LEGENDS OF EGYPT 82/1295
SCREEN DREAMS 47/1299 ITALIAN LOVERS 45/1288
6 CARTOUCHE 71/1111 515 408 4 55.8 103RD TROOPERS 17/1285
7 QUBIT 10/1136 752 633 6 54.3 PARKO RAMA 82/1296
VERMIN!! 82/1124 LAME ALLIANCES 74/1294
TRIPLE CROWN 15/990 HARE CONTROL 59/1290
SIR AGLIO 10/788 THAI INQUISITION 71/1292
SNOTZI'S II 33/813 17 VIOLENT FEMS 35/972 388 519 9 42.8
JOKA MASHER! 60/833 JUST BECAUSE 38/1228
VERMIN! 82/1267 18-UNTOUCHABLES 18/1190 13 18 0 41.9
JOKA MASHER 82/917 19-SONS OF SATAN 21/21 6 9 0 40.0
8 4-LETTER ANX 82/1271 247 209 1 54.2 20 MY PETS 9/554 459 721 11 38.9
ORGAN ON THE SANDS 96/1272 RHYME TYME 55/449
ORGANS ON THE SAND 97/1273 GIRL SCOUT COOKIES 33/812
WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY 82/1274 21 REFORMERS 64/1095 430 729 3 37.1
9-SEA DOGS 18/426 23 21 0 52.3 CIRQUE DU MASQUES 58/1093
10 ROYAL FLUSH 47/146 680 648 10 51.2 BAD APPLES 56/1091
INGRATE WHITE NORTH 60/1006 22-FA CHING 60/1279 16 28 1 36.4
11 NINJAS 7/1060 196 192 2 50.5 SUPERIOR KILLS 98/1229
FROM THE FACE 18/1265 23-GODDESSES 73/1293 3 7 0 30.0
RESURRECTION 2/1065 24 AMERICAN APPR 3/1268 3 8 0 27.3
12 ALL FINESSE 38/1236 53 53 0 50.0 25-KIDS GONE BAD 3/1281 1 0 0 100
SUGAR AND SPICE 7/1231
'##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id '-' Team did not fight this turn
THE GUARDIAN'S FORUM
Reflections by the Captain of the Guard
Quite satisfying to take out the Obsessive one, as I was truly worried about
that matchup, but managed to grit my teeth and bear down on the competition.
Hopefully, this turn, more members of Royal Flush will make their presence felt on
the sands of Home Guard, as no one else made it last turn aside from me. Anyone see
ADM split mini-overviews yet? Curious if I can have another shot at the Freshmen
tourney in Graceland.
Steve McQueen
REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER
So, you're back here, huh? Sixty warriors, I don't count the standbys. Louts
Olaf called 'em, and louts they are. Even when they win. I see that our Duel-II,
our Captain of the Guard, knows how to write. Good cess. I guess a lot of you
turkeys don't, eh? Don't let it bother you, I know plenty of oxen who can't write,
either. Heck, there's even a few monkeys who couldn't produce a personal if you
turned 'em loose with a typewriter for twenty years.
Fa Ching was avoided by Royal Flush. What do the Flushers know that they aren't
telling? Jakuchi Ito got the most challenges. Out of thirty-one fights, thirteen
are challenge matches. They tell me that's a good proportion. What do They know?
And thirty-one fights isn't all that hot a number, either. There are thousands of
gladiators qualified for this arena, even if some of 'em are women. Or golems.
Oh, well, let's see what we've got today.
MAN O' WAR (15-4517) (20-8-1,57) of TRIPLE CROWN fought HERMY (101-4) (0-0-0,50)
of Local Louts. MAN O' WAR was subdued by HERMY in a 2 minute fight. The horse from
Malcorn didn't come out looking so great. Hermy, however, is buying for the crowd at
the Bash N' Glug.
KOOKABURRA (33-4151) (47-68-2,76) of GIRL SCOUT COOKIES fought QUONSET (10-4990)
(26-18-0,81) of QUBIT. KOOKABURRA vanquished QUONSET in an exciting 1 minute one-
sided fray. Do girl scouts have to "be prepared" like boy scouts? I figure it'd
help, if they happened to meet up, say, out behind a fallen quonset hut.
MARY RETZLAFF (3-6119) (19-27-1,85) of AMERICAN APPRAISAL fought BECKY (17-5782)
(11-1-2,72) of BLADES OF STEEL. MARY RETZLAFF was overpowered by BECKY in a 1 minute
one-sided fight. Whoever is appraising this Retzlaff woman will likely be giving her
a black mark, eh? Maybe Becky should share the name of her swordsmith. Or maybe
not.
SKI MASK (58-5869) (36-58-0,82) of CIRQUE DU MASQUES fought GAR & BRILL (38-
4252) (23-32-0,61) of JUST BECAUSE. SKI MASK was overpowered by GAR & BRILL in a
crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided fray. Ah, gods, the Duck. Somebody kill the fowl
thing. Drown it in the lake, shoot it from ambush, I don't care. Get rid of it.
PUTZ'N ALONG (60-5437) (32-28-0,72) of JOKA MASHER! fought EXILE (7-4618) (22-
18-1,81) of BLADES OF ICE. PUTZ'N ALONG was viciously subdued by EXILE in an action
packed 3 minute gruesome bout. On a day like this's been, a blade of ice might be a
welcome thing, you think? Of course, if it's really, really sharp, maybe not.
HEART (97-1096) (6-14-4,48) of ORGANS ON THE SAND fought MARY ANN (47-4378) (13-
18-0,86) of SCREEN DREAMS. HEART was overpowered by MARY ANN in a 1 minute one-sided
bout. Hadda Hopper tells me this means that Mary Ann is an actress with heart. Who
cares? She's a gladiator, dammit. Not an actress. We got no casting couches here!
MICHAEL J'EH FOX (60-5263) (19-11-2,94) of INGRATE WHITE NORTH fought QUIBBLE
(10-4756) (22-44-0,72) of QUBIT. MICHAEL J'EH FOX vanquished QUIBBLE in a 2 minute
gruesome one-sided match. Never start a quibble with a fox. They're too clever by
half. Maybe even by two thirds.
FOUNTAINS OF WAYNE (98-809) (17-14-4,95) of COLLEGE RADIO fought CARRIE NATION
(64-4054) (41-74-0,62) of REFORMERS. FOUNTAINS OF WAYNE demolished CARRIE NATION in
a 1 minute one-sided fight. Rumor has it--you know Rumor, don't you, the old guy at
the end of the bar in the Bash N' Glug? Him. He has it that the fountains in
question were flowing with wine, or maybe something stronger.
KONGOL (7-4524) (31-18-2,120) of BLADES OF ICE fought SPUTTER (82-15095) (29-15-
1,149) of JOKA MASHER. KONGOL overcame SPUTTER in a popular 1 minute contest. Which
just goes to show that speaking clearly is important. Very important, even in the
arena, though you might not think so... until you try to say "I surrender" and
everyone hears "I sent her."
AEDON (7-4295) (36-17-1,125) of BLADES OF ICE fought W.T. POOH (33-4430) (63-51-
0,112) of SNOTZI'S II. AEDON was savagely defeated by W.T. POOH in a dull 27 minute
gruesome bout. Even a bear with little brain can't sustain savagery for twenty-seven
minutes. But a bear with little brain doesn't know it. What I want to know is, what
the heck was Aedon doing all this time? Did his blade melt?
TUTANKHAMUN (71-3357) (26-17-0,119) of CARTOUCHE fought NUTMEG (7-5167) (21-14-
1,128) of SUGAR AND SPICE. TUTANKHAMUN overpowered NUTMEG in a 1 minute uneven
fight. There's a note on the edge of my cheat-sheet here suggesting that someone
should cut Tut's ration of tanna leaves. What the heck are tanna leaves? NO
gladiator is supposed to be getting drugs before a fight!
SIR VILE (10-4754) (27-24-1,168) of SIR AGLIO fought BRICK (20-389) (35-33-
0,133) of THE BLUES. SIR VILE was luckily beaten by BRICK in a crowd pleasing 3
minute bloody conflict. I gotta tell you, if I was Brick, I'd beat up an announcer.
Luck? What do they know about it?
KAIDEN (35-3108) (83-82-2,156) of VIOLENT FEMS fought BEER GOGGLES (33-6819)
(28-26-1,125) of JOYS OF BOOZE. KAIDEN demolished BEER GOGGLES in an exciting 1
minute one-sided bout. Kaiden also demolished two orderlies and one of the
maintenance men, for which the arena insurance company will come down on her like a
ton of marble blocks.
IPECAC (45-3625) (23-13-0,156) of EMETICS fought SPAZZ (33-6207) (41-37-0,152)
of SNOTZI'S II. IPECAC was devastated by SPAZZ in a 1 minute one-sided fight. Too
busy throwing up to fight. Faugh!
JOE KING (47-2223) (29-48-1,173) of ROYAL FLUSH fought AERYN SUN (10-4268) (20-
10-0,105) of FARSCAPE. JOE KING was bested by AERYN SUN in a 2 minute brawl. And
was Joe's face ever red for that loss! Talk about losing dramatically!
DIRT WORM (82-2315) (64-32-0,181) of VERMIN!! fought LONG-NECKED LARRY (101-22)
(0-0-0,181) of Local Louts. DIRT WORM was viciously subdued by LONG-NECKED LARRY in
an action packed 8 minute duel. Which makes the standbys 2-0 for the week, and
guarantees that they'll be partying loudly tonight.
50 SUCKS (60-4129) (65-35-0,207) of JOKA MASHER! fought MOD COD (55-2638) (51-
77-1,152) of RHYME TYME. 50 SUCKS dispatched MOD COD in a 2 minute bout. And buried
the Mod Cod Bod in the sands, to the disgust of the maintenance crew. They get
snirty about fish guts in the sand.
TICKLES (9-3486) (44-63-1,186) of MY PETS fought DUKE OF EARL (19-2401) (16-13-
0,183) of THE ROYAL FAMILY. TICKLES overpowered DUKE OF EARL in a popular 1 minute
mismatched conflict. Gods, that I should live to see a gladiator giggle! The horror
of it, the in-dignity! Not to mention the oil spill. Who's goign to clean THAT up,
eh?
Ah, and some challenge matches. Now we get to see what managers are paying
attention here.
MORADOR (2-5089) (24-9-1,64) of RESURRECTION challenged CREDIT LINE (82-1366)
(0-10-0,52) of WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY. Down 12. MORADOR demolished CREDIT LINE in a 1
minute mismatched Challenge match. As you can see, demolishing a credit line is one
of the easiest things going.
BLACK JACK SHELACK (47-4850) (16-10-1,59) of ROYAL FLUSH challenged SATOSHI KUNO
(7-5229) (21-16-0,67) of NINJAS. Up 8. BLACK JACK SHELACK was bested by SATOSHI
KUNO in a 6 minute Challenge conflict. Hey, I'm no blue-nose, but anybody with sense
knows you shouldn't drink shellack. Of course, anybody with sense isn't going to be
a gladiator anyway....
NUTCRACKER (38-4380) (18-5-1,46) of ALL FINESSE challenged PRIZMATYK WAHL (73-
4252) (15-7-1,56) of MAGIC MAYHEM. Up 10. NUTCRACKER was overpowered by PRIZMATYK
WAHL in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge match. Somebody having a special on weird
spelling over on Dwes Eg?
ISHINOMORI (7-5390) (25-7-1,78) of NINJAS challenged FEAR (82-10416) (18-28-
1,85) of 4-LETTER ANXIETY. Up 7. ISHINOMORI overpowered FEAR in a 1 minute one-
sided Challenge melee. You know the old saying about "nothing to fear but fear
itself"? Forget it. Fear isn't anything to worry about. Not with that record.
RAISON D'ETRE (7-5311) (19-16-3,93) of BATHTUB ARMADA challenged KIDNEY (96-972)
(13-7-3,97) of ORGAN ON THE SANDS. Up 4. RAISON D'ETRE defeated KIDNEY in a 1
minute Challenge fight. Yep, it was a stake-and-kidney finish.
LUNA TYCK (33-5761) (34-38-1,136) of DRAKE'S PETTING ZOO challenged DITCH RAT
(82-15360) (23-22-3,142) of VERMIN!. Up 6. LUNA TYCK vanquished DITCH RAT in an
action packed 1 minute uneven Challenge fight. Tycks and rats? I'm gonna have the
exterminator in here tomorrow, so you better WATCH OUT.
EMILY (17-5753) (27-17-0,139) of BLADES OF STEEL challenged HALLIE O'DENE (58-
6018) (49-64-0,141) of CIRQUE DU MASQUES. Up 2. EMILY vanquished HALLIE O'DENE in a
1 minute uneven Challenge duel. It must be the swordsmith. We can obviously take it
that steel blades are Good.
PERFECT TEN (47-4218) (26-20-1,150) of ROYAL FLUSH challenged TIME SQUARE (65-
4637) (28-10-0,157) of BIG APPLE MENACE. Up 7. PERFECT TEN overcame TIME SQUARE in
an action packed 1 minute Challenge fight. Apples are over-rated, I don't care how
big they are. You see one apple, you've seen 'em all. And they don't keep doctors
away unless they're green and you're good with a slingshot.
TUM (18-7380) (23-16-2,172) of FROM THE FACE challenged BLACK HOLE SCRAG (43-
3220) (29-18-1,183) of GUARDIANS. Up 11. TUM vanquished BLACK HOLE SCRAG in an
exciting 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight. Doesn't look like this BH Scrag is
much of a guardian, if he can't handle a simple Tum.
APPLE JACK (47-4011) (29-21-4,167) of ROYAL FLUSH challenged BUDDERCUP (60-5967)
(34-29-0,185) of BUMS 'R' US. Up 18. APPLE JACK was demolished by BUDDERCUP in a 1
minute mismatched Challenge competition. See? Apples are worthless. So are bums,
but there are more of 'em around, so you gotta watch what you say.
ROT TEN EGGS (47-3099) (36-31-0,159) of ROYAL FLUSH challenged JAKUCHU ITO (7-
5102) (26-14-0,187) of NINJAS. Up 28. ROT TEN EGGS was vanquished by JAKUCHU ITO in
a 2 minute mismatched Challenge brawl. Is this the "hundred-year eggs" thing? Gods,
talk about a stink!
OBSESSED AVENGER (15-2162) (44-46-1,198) of DRAKE'S BAR-B-Q challenged MASHER
(60-4553) (45-39-3,203) of JOKA MASHER! Up 5. OBSESSED AVENGER was demolished by
MASHER in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge melee. And good work, too! Who needs
someone going around avenging things all the time? People need a chance to sin in
peace.
And for being the Duel-II Dude, Captain of the Guard, we have STEVE MCQUEEN (47-
3908) (34-33-1,257) of ROYAL FLUSH TV challenged DELICE THE RED (56-3401) (49-51-
1,215) of BAD APPLES. Down 42. STEVE MCQUEEN slimly won victory over DELICE THE RED
in a 3 minute Challenge fight. And a damned good thing, too! Apples, you can't get
away from them. Besides, we don't need a broad on the top seat. Congratulations,
Steve, and write us another column.
Ogre Modeen
CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
STEVE MCQUEEN 47-3908 35 33 1 263 ROYAL FLUSH (146) NORTH FORK
GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
50 SUCKS 60-4129 66 35 1 228 JOKA MASHER! (833) ARADI
MASHER 60-4553 46 39 3 213 JOKA MASHER! (833) ARADI
GRAND CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
DELICE THE RED 56-3401 49 52 1 199 BAD APPLES (1091) ROCANIS
TICKLES 9-3486 45 63 1 198 MY PETS (554) ZUKAL
JAKUCHU ITO 7-5102 27 14 0 196 NINJAS (1060) BONSUR
BUDDERCUP 60-5967 35 29 0 195 BUMS 'R' US (1142) ARADI
TUM 18-7380 24 16 2 195 FROM THE FACE (1265) TALCAMA
OBSESSED AVENGER 15-2162 44 47 1 191 DRAKE'S BAR-B-Q (313) MALCORN
GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
DIRT WORM 82-2315 64 33 0 179 VERMIN!! (1124) DWES EG
DUKE OF EARL 19-2401 16 14 0 174 THE ROYAL FAMILY (1036) ZUWAYZA
SPAZZ 33-6207 42 37 0 169 SNOTZI'S II (813) NIYTYOLE ISLAND
BLACK HOLE SCRAG 43-3220 29 19 1 169 GUARDIANS (1287) VEASTIAN
PERFECT TEN 47-4218 27 20 1 169 ROYAL FLUSH (146) NORTH FORK
MOD COD 55-2638 51 78 1 168 RHYME TYME (449) KHALANI
APPLE JACK 47-4011 29 22 4 164 ROYAL FLUSH (146) NORTH FORK
KAIDEN 35-3108 84 82 2 160 VIOLENT FEMS (972) MURSKA
ROT TEN EGGS 47-3099 36 32 0 159 ROYAL FLUSH (146) NORTH FORK
BRICK 20-389 36 33 0 159 THE BLUES (1286) SEAM
-DAMION 21-87 36 27 3 155 SONS OF SATAN (21) SUNSET
LUNA TYCK 33-5761 35 38 1 151 DRAKE'S PETTING ZOO (1075) NIYTYOLE ISLAND
TIME SQUARE 65-4637 28 11 0 151 BIG APPLE MENACE (836) DAL SHANG
EMILY 17-5753 28 17 0 151 BLADES OF STEEL (1068) ALJAFIR
GRAND ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
-THUNDRA 60-5122 26 15 1 150 FA CHING (1279) ARADI
SIR VILE 10-4754 27 25 1 149 SIR AGLIO (788) KOLACT
KONGOL 7-4524 32 18 2 148 BLADES OF ICE (162) BONSUR
IPECAC 45-3625 23 14 0 145 EMETICS (1242) STORMCROWE
GRAND ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
AERYN SUN 10-4268 21 10 0 145 FARSCAPE (1277) KOLACT
TUTANKHAMUN 71-3357 27 17 0 138 CARTOUCHE (1111) KYR'TERR
JOE KING 47-2223 29 49 1 137 ROYAL FLUSH (146) NORTH FORK
HALLIE O'DENE 58-6018 49 65 0 133 CIRQUE DU MASQUES (1093) DELARQ TOR
SPUTTER 82-15095 29 16 1 133 JOKA MASHER (917) DWES EG
W.T. POOH 33-4430 64 51 0 131 SNOTZI'S II (813) NIYTYOLE ISLAND
DITCH RAT 82-15360 23 23 3 129 VERMIN! (1267) DWES EG
-SCOOTER 54-118 20 9 1 127 THE MUPPETS (1289) TROCAR
BEER GOGGLES 33-6819 28 27 1 124 JOYS OF BOOZE (1209) NIYTYOLE ISLAND
-YELLOWBEARD 18-2149 27 13 0 122 SEA DOGS (426) TALCAMA
NUTMEG 7-5167 21 15 1 116 SUGAR AND SPICE (1231) BONSUR
AEDON 7-4295 36 18 1 113 BLADES OF ICE (162) BONSUR
RAISON D'ETRE 7-5311 20 16 3 103 BATHTUB ARMADA (1196) BONSUR
-BLACKBURST 60-5025 19 16 0 103 FA CHING (1279) ARADI
-HIGH GUN 15-4386 21 23 2 102 TRIPLE CROWN (990) MALCORN
GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
-MINOR THREAT 3-3108 22 8 2 100 KIDS GONE BAD (1281) OSKSI
MICHAEL J'EH FOX 60-5263 20 11 2 99 INGRATE WHITE NORTH (1006) ARADI
FOUNTAINS OF WAYNE 98-809 18 14 4 97 COLLEGE RADIO (1223) SYVYN'S HILL
KOOKABURRA 33-4151 48 68 2 94 GIRL SCOUT COOKIES (812) NIYTYOLE ISLAND
ISHINOMORI 7-5390 26 7 1 92 NINJAS (1060) BONSUR
KIDNEY 96-972 13 8 3 91 ORGAN ON THE SANDS (1272) OLD VALAMANTIS
GRAND INITIATES W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
EXILE 7-4618 23 18 1 89 BLADES OF ICE (162) BONSUR
BECKY 17-5782 12 1 2 89 BLADES OF STEEL (1068) ALJAFIR
-TAISHO 8-4690 25 9 2 86 YAKUZA (1300) ARKERS
GAR & BRILL 38-4252 24 32 0 83 JUST BECAUSE (1228) CLIFFHOME
SATOSHI KUNO 7-5229 22 16 0 76 NINJAS (1060) BONSUR
FEAR 82-10416 18 29 1 76 4-LETTER ANXIETY (1271) DWES EG
MORADOR 2-5089 25 9 1 72 RESURRECTION (1065) NIANIA
MARY RETZLAFF 3-6119 19 28 1 71 AMERICAN APPRAISAL (1268) OSKSI
PUTZ'N ALONG 60-5437 32 29 0 70 JOKA MASHER! (833) ARADI
QUIBBLE 10-4756 22 45 0 70 QUBIT (1136) KOLACT
PRIZMATYK WAHL 73-4252 16 7 1 70 MAGIC MAYHEM (1298) ERINIKA
QUONSET 10-4990 26 19 0 68 QUBIT (1136) KOLACT
-SETZER GABBIANI 74-3485 17 18 2 63 THE FINAL FANTASY (1301) DAIYLA KIV
CARRIE NATION 64-4054 41 75 0 61 REFORMERS (1095) KURUKAR
SKI MASK 58-5869 36 59 0 61 CIRQUE DU MASQUES (1093) DELARQ TOR
BLACK JACK SHELACK 47-4850 16 11 1 61 ROYAL FLUSH (146) NORTH FORK
-GLORY HOLE 98-870 7 18 4 59 SUPERIOR KILLS (1229) SYVYN'S HILL
-THORNE 60-5259 18 5 0 57 FA CHING (1279) ARADI
-MEDUSA 6-5779 16 5 0 53 BATTLE BEASTS (1235) TRANSEL
-A. CAPONE 18-3228 14 16 3 50 UNTOUCHABLES (1190) TALCAMA
MAN O' WAR 15-4517 20 9 1 49 TRIPLE CROWN (990) MALCORN
CREDIT LINE 82-1366 0 11 0 49 WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY (1274 DWES EG
HEART 97-1096 6 15 4 48 ORGANS ON THE SAND (1273) SHADOW GROVE
NUTCRACKER 38-4380 18 6 1 41 ALL FINESSE (1236) CLIFFHOME
'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.
THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN
MOD COD 55-2638 51 78 1 RHYME TYME 449 50 SUCKS 60-4129 378
PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE
Drake, my friend, any idea when you'll put the Semester report together? I've kicked
some SERIOUS BUTT and I'd like to see my success in print. -- Shocking Toad, the
Manager
Black Hole Scrag -- (smug look) That's the trouble with black holes. After you get
established, you fall into it yourself. Ha! -- Delice the Red
Kaiden -- Violent indeed! -- Hallie O'Dene
Quonset -- Why did you go around yelling, "Hut, hut!"? I truly believe you were
drunk, and I am SURE it will come back to haunt you. -- Carrie Nation
Gar and Brill -- Fowl rotisserie! -- Ski Mask
25 May 2004
TEN TURNS OF HELL:
The KLK Capture The Flag Competition
In the spirit of the ongoing effort to make arena play what it used to be (FUN!!), I
am proud to announce the KLK Capture The Flag Competition. The competition will be
held in Jhans (DM-36, which has, by the way, grown in size equal to Talcama already).
:) We are announcing this contest early to allow managers time to prep.
Rules:
-- On turn 462 (due 8/4/04) the lowest ranked warrior on your team is given your
team's 'flag' (he is your initial flag defender).
-- Starting on turn 463 (due 8/18/04) flags will be defended every turn and turn
463 is the turn scoring will begin.
-- Fights involving flags are winners-take-all and a warrior can carry as many
flags as he can win.
-- If a warrior holding a flag either A) goes inactive, B) loses to a stand-by
warrior or C) gets DA'd, he forfeits all flags he has and they are returned the their
original team's lowest ranked warrior.
-- If you hold your own flag on an inactive warrior you receive NO POINTS that
turn.
-- If a warrior graduates to AD holding flags starting on the next turn those
flags will be defended by the lowest ranked warrior on the team of the graduating
warrior.
-- Scoring as follows for each turn:
2 pts -- possession of your own team flag
1 pt -- possession any other flag
1 pt -- for each win
1 pt -- for each kill
1 pt -- for each award you receive in the newsletter
-- You may enter as many teams as you like (per RSI rules) but each team is its
own entry.
-- Tie-Breaker goes to the team that had the most points from flags.
-- If still tied the tie-breaker will be the team that had the most points from
kills. (It's the Delarq way.)
-- The contest lasts 10 turns and there will be prizes for 1st, 2nd and 3rd
(based on highest point totals)
Prizes: (what you've been waiting on)
1st -- 3 know favorites potions*
DA warrior named after winning manager
2nd -- 2 know favorites potions*
3rd -- 1 know favorites potion*
* These are full favorite potions (weapon, rhythms and tactics) and can only be used
on warriors with at least 4 FE.
How's that for paying out? (grin) Even if you think that it's all about the TC,
these prizes should be enough to draw you in. (You know who you are.)
I hope to see friend and foe alike come to Jhans. Legion, Froths, and all the
others...this is your personal invite. Can you win? Can you survive 10 turns of
Hell in Jhans?
Note: Special thanks to RSI for helping make this contest possible. Thanks
guys!
Bookie
KLK Alliance
Director Jhans' Board of Tourism
Warden of the Froth Circle (grin)
D.R.C. 4 Life
16 June 2004
Death Fest Begins July 29/DM 59 T-172
"You drive a hard bargain Hammer," responded Lord Lian Ki Na-Sul, "but the
Gladiatorial Commission has agreed to re-open DM 58 Delarq Tor as a Slow Arena
exclusively for a period of six months to those Death Fest contestants who fight
their stables at least 67 times out of a possible 75 during the 15 rounds of Death
Fest; on the condition that at least 20 stables qualify for the Illis Iron Stable
Award at the conclusion of the Death Fest and those qualifying managers send a New
Stable to DM 58 Delarq Tor without Cannibalizing their participation in the other
arenas where they have active stables!"
Hammer felt a certain sense of satisfaction as he studied the ghoulish grin
spreading across the face of Lord Lian Ki Na-Sul; proud Arena Master of the once
dying Illis Arena, as the DM 59 Arena Authority signed the Gladiatorial Commission
papers authenticating the arrangement agreed upon by the two parties presiding.
"You and the Gladiatorial Commission also drive a hard bargain," Hammer replied
as he reflected upon the prospects of Delarq Tor DM 58 being re-opened as a Slow
Arena with at least 20 New Stables by the Managers who fight their stables at least
67 times out of a possible 75 during the 15 rounds of Death Fest. "I also notice the
clause that for Delarq Tor to be open Exclusively for 6 months to the New Stables
managed by the Illis Iron Stable Award Winners that there must be at least 15 stables
Active each cycle. That is a fair bargain for the opportunity to battle for the
Duelmaster Throne each of those six months before Other New Stables are allowed to
enter Delarq Tor."
This was a Golden Opportunity for both Veteran and Newbie Managers to pave a new
frontier of Delarq history by qualifying their Death Fest stables in DM 59 with 67
fights out of a possible 75; then for the price of running a stable in a Regular
Arena, continuing to be Active in DM 59 and sending a New Team Roll Up to be a part
of "History in the Making" when Delarq Tor would re-open for its First Turn as a Slow
Arena on November 3rd, 2005.
Death Fest would conclude on T-186 August 25th, 2005 allowing the Illis Iron
Stable Award Winners enough time to be registered with the Gladiatorial Commission;
whereupon they would be able to submit a New Team Roll Up to the GC to start a New
Stable in Delarq Tor; be able to fight those New Gladiators in the Rookies 2005 Fall
Mailer Tourney; then begin competing for the DM 58 Duelmasters Throne in Delarq Tor
right out of the gate with the November 3rd 2005 T-1 Debut Opening Round.
Hammer of the First Part had also negotiated with Lord Na-Zul of the Second Part
an agreement that All 10 Dark Arena Monsters and 17 NPCs Characters be re-named by
the Top Ten Death Fest Finishers. [See DM 59 T-171 Newsletter Team Spotlight by
Hammer for the complete listing of Dark Arena Monsters/NPCs and the Official Death
Fest Designation for which Top Ten Finishers re-name which characters!]
Lord Na-Sul could not hide his delight at the prospects of Death being re-
delivered to his once dying arena during the Delarq Death Fest; the DM 59 Arena
Master agreed that these Death Fest Prizes were but a Small Exchange in Comparison to
the Profits to be made by the local Illis business merchants and surrounding
community from the Anticipated Influx into Illis by the Veteran and Newbie
Managers/Gladiators/Stables seeking to make History in the Delarq Death Fest.
Nor could Hammer conceal his jubilation regarding the Call Across Alistari being
Answered to Cross Blades and Match Wits with the Devious, the Diabolical, the
Dangerous and the Down Challenging who were being drawn to the Delarq Death Fest to
Fulfill their Delarq Dueling Destiny!
REMEMBER: Death Fest begins July 29th T-172 with 25 points being awarded to
those who write a minimum 15 paragraph Team Spotlight [including Stable Name &
Managerial Alias in the Storyline!] for the DM 59 T-172 Newsletter [So Make Sure HAL
Does Not Eat any Lengthy Sentences that are Emailed without Proper Formatting; and
the RSI Typist has Plenty of Time to Type Any Hand Written Spotlights; Lest Ye
Discover 0 Points Awarded for a Missing or Incomplete T-172 Team Spotlight!]
"May Your Blades Be Sharp and Your Wits Sharper!" -- Hammer/Death Fest
Host/Vendetta Cartel Captain; WordSmith and High Priest of the Crimson Ascension
Family in DM 28
LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS
STEVE MCQUEEN slimly won victory over DELICE THE RED in a 3 minute Challenge fight.
OBSESSED AVENGER was demolished by MASHER in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge melee.
ROT TEN EGGS was vanquished by JAKUCHU ITO in a 2 minute mismatched Challenge brawl.
APPLE JACK was demolished by BUDDERCUP in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge competition.
TUM vanquished BLACK HOLE SCRAG in a exciting 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
PERFECT TEN overcame TIME SQUARE in a action packed 1 minute Challenge fight.
EMILY vanquished HALLIE O'DENE in a 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
LUNA TYCK vanquished DITCH RAT in a action packed 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
RAISON D'ETRE defeated KIDNEY in a 1 minute Challenge fight.
ISHINOMORI overpowered FEAR in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge melee.
NUTCRACKER was overpowered by PRIZMATYK WAHL in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge match.
BLACK JACK SHELACK was bested by SATOSHI KUNO in a 6 minute Challenge conflict.
MORADOR demolished CREDIT LINE in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge match.
TICKLES overpowered DUKE OF EARL in a popular 1 minute mismatched conflict.
50 SUCKS dispatched MOD COD in a 2 minute bout.
DIRT WORM was viciously subdued by LONG-NECKED LARRY in a action packed 8 minute duel.
JOE KING was bested by AERYN SUN in a 2 minute brawl.
IPECAC was devastated by SPAZZ in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
KAIDEN demolished BEER GOGGLES in a exciting 1 minute one-sided bout.
SIR VILE was luckily beaten by BRICK in a crowd pleasing 3 minute bloody conflict.
TUTANKHAMUN overpowered NUTMEG in a 1 minute uneven fight.
AEDON was savagely defeated by W.T. POOH in a dull 27 minute gruesome bout.
KONGOL overcame SPUTTER in a popular 1 minute contest.
FOUNTAINS OF WAYNE demolished CARRIE NATION in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
MICHAEL J'EH FOX vanquished QUIBBLE in a 2 minute gruesome one-sided match.
HEART was overpowered by MARY ANN in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
PUTZ'N ALONG was viciously subdued by EXILE in a action packed 3 minute gruesome bout.
SKI MASK was overpowered by GAR & BRILL in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided fray.
MARY RETZLAFF was overpowered by BECKY in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
KOOKABURRA vanquished QUONSET in a exciting 1 minute one-sided fray.
MAN O' WAR was subdued by HERMY in a 2 minute fight.
BATTLE REPORT
MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS
|FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK 17 PARRY-LUNGE 10 - 5 - 0 67 |
|BASHING ATTACK 8 SLASHING ATTACK 33 - 19 - 1 63 |
|STRIKING ATTACK 8 LUNGING ATTACK 84 - 67 - 1 56 |
|WALL OF STEEL 7 TOTAL PARRY 27 - 27 - 0 50 |
|AIMED BLOW 7 PARRY-RIPOSTE 1 - 1 - 0 50 |
|TOTAL PARRY 5 PARRY-STRIKE 10 - 11 - 0 48 |
|SLASHING ATTACK 4 BASHING ATTACK 40 - 45 - 0 47 |
|PARRY-LUNGE 2 WALL OF STEEL 44 - 51 - 1 46 |
|PARRY-STRIKE 2 STRIKING ATTACK 41 - 53 - 2 44 |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE 0 AIMED BLOW 21 - 30 - 0 41 |
Turn 378 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are:
PARRY-LUNGE 2 - 0 AIMED BLOW 3 - 4 3 LUNGING ATTACK
SLASHING ATTACK 3 - 1 LUNGING ATTACK 7 - 10 2 BASHING ATTACK
BASHING ATTACK 5 - 3 TOTAL PARRY 2 - 3 2 STRIKING ATTACK
WALL OF STEEL 4 - 3 STRIKING ATTACK 3 - 5 1 AIMED BLOW
PARRY-STRIKE 0 - 2 1 WALL OF STEEL
PARRY-RIPOSTE 0 - 0 1 PARRY-STRIKE
1 TOTAL PARRY
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE
FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME
AIMED BLOW STEVE MCQUEEN 47-3908 35 33 1 263 ROYAL FLUSH (146)
WALL OF STEEL 50 SUCKS 60-4129 66 35 1 228 JOKA MASHER! (833)
BASHING ATTACK MASHER 60-4553 46 39 3 213 JOKA MASHER! (833)
STRIKING ATTACK DELICE THE RED 56-3401 49 52 1 199 BAD APPLES (1091)
LUNGING ATTACK JAKUCHU ITO 7-5102 27 14 0 196 NINJAS (1060)
PARRY-STRIKE OBSESSED AVENGER 15-2162 44 47 1 191 DRAKE'S BAR-B-Q (313)
TOTAL PARRY DIRT WORM 82-2315 64 33 0 179 VERMIN!! (1124)
PARRY-LUNGE LUNA TYCK 33-5761 35 38 1 151 DRAKE'S PETTING ZOO (1075)
SLASHING ATTACK MICHAEL J'EH FOX 60-5263 20 11 2 99 INGRATE WHITE NORTH (1006)
The overall popularity leader is KAIDEN 35-3108. The most popular warrior this turn
was DIRT WORM 82-2315. The ten other most popular fighters were DELICE THE RED
56-3401, SIR VILE 10-4754, EXILE 7-4618, BLACK JACK SHELACK 47-4850, SATOSHI KUNO
7-5229, JAKUCHU ITO 7-5102, STEVE MCQUEEN 47-3908, MASHER 60-4553, TIME SQUARE
65-4637, and KONGOL 7-4524.
The least popular fighter this week was AEDON 7-4295. The other ten least popular
fighters were W.T. POOH 33-4430, MARY RETZLAFF 3-6119, CARRIE NATION 64-4054, NUTMEG
7-5167, IPECAC 45-3625, CREDIT LINE 82-1366, FEAR 82-10416, HALLIE O'DENE 58-6018,
APPLE JACK 47-4011, and QUONSET 10-4990.
Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K
NIANIA(2) 1 0 0 NIYTYOLE ISLAND(33) 4 1 0 ARADI(60) 4 1 1
OSKSI(3) 0 1 0 MURSKA(35) 1 0 0 KURUKAR(64) 0 1 0
BONSUR(7) 6 2 0 CLIFFHOME(38) 1 1 0 DAL SHANG(65) 0 1 0
ZUKAL(9) 1 0 0 VEASTIAN(43) 0 1 0 KYR'TERR(71) 1 0 0
KOLACT(10) 1 3 0 STORMCROWE(45) 0 1 0 ERINIKA(73) 1 0 0
MALCORN(15) 0 2 0 NORTH FORK(47) 3 4 0 DWES EG(82) 0 5 0
ALJAFIR(17) 2 0 0 KHALANI(55) 0 1 0 OLD VALAMANTIS(96) 0 1 0
TALCAMA(18) 1 0 0 ROCANIS(56) 0 1 0 SHADOW GROVE(97) 0 1 0
ZUWAYZA(19) 0 1 0 DELARQ TOR(58) 0 2 0 SYVYN'S HILL(98) 1 0 0
SEAM(20) 1 0 0
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
MORADOR 2-5089 25 9 1 72 RESURRECTION (1065) NIANIA
MARY RETZLAFF 3-6119 19 28 1 71 AMERICAN APPRAISAL (1268) OSKSI
JAKUCHU ITO 7-5102 27 14 0 196 NINJAS (1060) BONSUR
TICKLES 9-3486 45 63 1 198 MY PETS (554) ZUKAL
SIR VILE 10-4754 27 25 1 149 SIR AGLIO (788) KOLACT
OBSESSED AVENGER 15-2162 44 47 1 191 DRAKE'S BAR-B-Q (313) MALCORN
EMILY 17-5753 28 17 0 151 BLADES OF STEEL (1068) ALJAFIR
TUM 18-7380 24 16 2 195 FROM THE FACE (1265) TALCAMA
DUKE OF EARL 19-2401 16 14 0 174 THE ROYAL FAMILY (1036) ZUWAYZA
BRICK 20-389 36 33 0 159 THE BLUES (1286) SEAM
SPAZZ 33-6207 42 37 0 169 SNOTZI'S II (813) NIYTYOLE ISLAND
KAIDEN 35-3108 84 82 2 160 VIOLENT FEMS (972) MURSKA
GAR & BRILL 38-4252 24 32 0 83 JUST BECAUSE (1228) CLIFFHOME
BLACK HOLE SCRAG 43-3220 29 19 1 169 GUARDIANS (1287) VEASTIAN
IPECAC 45-3625 23 14 0 145 EMETICS (1242) STORMCROWE
STEVE MCQUEEN 47-3908 35 33 1 263 ROYAL FLUSH (146) NORTH FORK
MOD COD 55-2638 51 78 1 168 RHYME TYME (449) KHALANI
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
DELICE THE RED 56-3401 49 52 1 199 BAD APPLES (1091) ROCANIS
HALLIE O'DENE 58-6018 49 65 0 133 CIRQUE DU MASQUES (1093) DELARQ TOR
50 SUCKS 60-4129 66 35 1 228 JOKA MASHER! (833) ARADI
CARRIE NATION 64-4054 41 75 0 61 REFORMERS (1095) KURUKAR
TIME SQUARE 65-4637 28 11 0 151 BIG APPLE MENACE (836) DAL SHANG
TUTANKHAMUN 71-3357 27 17 0 138 CARTOUCHE (1111) KYR'TERR
PRIZMATYK WAHL 73-4252 16 7 1 70 MAGIC MAYHEM (1298) ERINIKA
DIRT WORM 82-2315 64 33 0 179 VERMIN!! (1124) DWES EG
KIDNEY 96-972 13 8 3 91 ORGAN ON THE SANDS (1272) OLD VALAMANTIS
HEART 97-1096 6 15 4 48 ORGANS ON THE SAND (1273) SHADOW GROVE
FOUNTAINS OF WAYNE 98-809 18 14 4 97 COLLEGE RADIO (1223) SYVYN'S HILL