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Date   : 06/30/2004    Duedate: 07/13/2004

HOME GUARD

DM-101    TURN-379

RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %  RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %
  1-THE ROYAL FA 19/1036  209  110  0 65.5      DUCKS UNLIMITED 39/1221               
  2 COLLEGE RADI 98/1223  129   70  0 64.8   10 SEA DOGS 18/426        23   22  0 51.1
    BIG APPLE MENACE 65/836                  11 NINJAS 7/1060         200  193  2 50.9
  3 BLADES OF ICE 7/162   334  245  6 57.7      FROM THE FACE 18/1265                 
    BLADES OF STEEL 17/1068                     RESURRECTION 2/1065                   
  4 CARTOUCHE 71/1111     516  408  4 55.8   12 SITTIN' ON A 63/1302   72   71  0 50.3
  5 MAGIC MAYHEM 73/1298   20   16  0 55.6   13 ALL FINESSE 38/1236    53   53  0 50.0
    SCREEN DREAMS 47/1299                       SUGAR AND SPICE 7/1231                
  6 QUBIT 10/1136         758  639  6 54.3      BATHTUB ARMADA 7/1196                 
    JOKA MASHER! 60/833                         PERFECTION QUEST II 73/1303           
    TRIPLE CROWN 15/990                      14-YAKUZA 8/1300          11   11  0 50.0
    SIR AGLIO 10/788                         15-DRAKE'S BAR-B 15/313  161  174  5 48.1
    VERMIN! 82/1267                             DRAKE'S PETTING ZOO 33/1075           
    SNOTZI'S II 33/813                       16 EMETICS 45/1242        48   53  0 47.5
    VERMIN!! 82/1124                            BUMS 'R' US 60/1142                   
    JOKA MASHER 82/917                          JOYS OF BOOZE 33/1209                 
  7 4-LETTER ANX 82/1271  250  210  1 54.3   17 VIOLENT FEMS 35/972   388  521  9 42.7
    ORGAN ON THE SANDS 96/1272                  JUST BECAUSE 38/1228                  
    ORGANS ON THE SAND 97/1273               18-UNTOUCHABLES 18/1190   13   18  0 41.9
    WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY 82/1274             19-SONS OF SATAN 21/21     6    9  0 40.0
  8 FARSCAPE 10/1277       10    9  0 52.6   20 MY PETS 9/554         460  723 11 38.9
    THE MUPPETS 54/1289                         RHYME TYME 55/449                     
    THE BLUES 20/1286                           GIRL SCOUT COOKIES 33/812             
    GUARDIANS 43/1287                        21 REFORMERS 64/1095     431  732  3 37.1
  9 SPARF! 20/1069        687  653 10 51.3      CIRQUE DU MASQUES 58/1093             
    OPEN SESAME 50/824                          BAD APPLES 56/1091                    
    INGRATE WHITE NORTH 60/1006              22-FA CHING 60/1279       16   28  1 36.4
    ROYAL FLUSH 47/146                       23 AMERICAN APPR 3/1268    4    8  0 33.3
    NOT QUITE 59/1237                     

    '##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id     '-'  Team did not fight this turn

                                 THE GUARDIAN'S FORUM
                       Reflections by the Captain of the Guard

     While it was certainly nice to take a bit out of Delice the Red, I have bad news
to report on....  Unfortunately, I have been deemed too skilled to remain in the
Freshmen tournament.  Such are the measures of progress for a 4 Wit Warrior.
Doubtful that any of Crip's other Home Guardians will make the trip to Memphis, but
if anyone else from here is going, good luck, and a small word of advice, don't fight
any clones.  You think you've disposed of one, and another pops up.  Eventually you
just get worn out.

Steve McQueen
Royal Flush

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

     So, you think you need a spy report?  You think you DESERVE one?  Well, I 
deserve to be paid for DOING spy report, so here goes.
     The fights started late today, possibly because it was pouring rain, or maybe it 
was the spontaneous emergence of camels from the sands.  Who can say?  Who cares?  
They started late, and there it is.  You all know what it means.

     Big Apple Menace was avoided by Royal Flush.
     Ipecac may possibly have gotten the most challenges, or maybe he just has the 
most enemies.

     SKI MASK (58-5869) (36-59-0,61) of CIRQUE DU MASQUES fought BECKY (17-5782) (12-
1-2,89) of BLADES OF STEEL.  SKI MASK was demolished by BECKY in an action packed 1 
minute one-sided struggle.  Roast duck for that girl!
     IMMOVEABLE OBJECT (59-2110) (19-5-1,63) of NOT QUITE fought QUIBBLE (10-4756) 
(22-45-0,70) of QUBIT.  IMMOVEABLE OBJECT unbelievably bested QUIBBLE in a crowd 
pleasing 5 minute fight.  I don't know why the crowd was pleased.  I guess it just 
goes to show that you can never tell with crowds.  Myself, I was bored.
     MARY RETZLAFF (3-6119) (19-28-1,71) of AMERICAN APPRAISAL fought HOCKEY DUCK 
(39-937) (24-16-1,56) of DUCKS UNLIMITED.  MARY RETZLAFF savagely defeated HOCKEY 
DUCK in an exciting 3 minute bloody fray.  Another Duck bites sand.  Good.  They're 
getting too uppity.
     CARRIE NATION (64-4054) (41-75-0,61) of REFORMERS fought B&G BOUNCER (101-3) (0-
0-0,30) of Local Louts.  CARRIE NATION overpowered B&G BOUNCER in a 1 minute one-
sided bout.  They hate her in the Bash N Glug.
     PRIZMATYK WAHL (73-4252) (16-7-1,70) of MAGIC MAYHEM fought MAN O' WAR (15-4517) 
(20-9-1,49) of TRIPLE CROWN.  PRIZMATYK WAHL was subdued by MAN O' WAR in a 2 minute 
fight.  This is war, not colored pencils.
     HEART (97-1096) (6-15-4,48) of ORGANS ON THE SAND fought PUTZ'N ALONG (60-5437) 
(32-29-0,70) of JOKA MASHER!.  HEART viciously subdued PUTZ'N ALONG in a popular 3 
minute brutal fray.  Just putz'n' along butters no parsnips.
     OSCAR (50-3153) (28-7-0,100) of OPEN SESAME fought EXILE (7-4618) (23-18-1,89) 
of BLADES OF ICE.  OSCAR slimly won victory over EXILE in a popular 4 minute gory 
bout.  Which means Exile still does not get to go home.  I hear the home-folks are 
glad, too.
     KOOKABURRA (33-4151) (48-68-2,94) of GIRL SCOUT COOKIES fought MARY ANN (47-
4378) (14-18-0,88) of SCREEN DREAMS.  KOOKABURRA was handily defeated by MARY ANN in 
an exciting 1 minute bloody uneven bout.  That girl does love a cookie!
     KIDNEY (96-972) (13-8-3,91) of ORGAN ON THE SANDS fought CLOUDS AWAY (50-3332) 
(17-5-2,79) of OPEN SESAME.  KIDNEY vanquished CLOUDS AWAY in a 1 minute uneven bout.  
And other things than clouds, too.
     SPUTTER (82-15095) (29-16-1,133) of JOKA MASHER fought YELLOWBEARD (18-2149) 
(27-13-0,122) of SEA DOGS.  SPUTTER vanquished YELLOWBEARD in an exciting 1 minute 
one-sided fight.  It was dyed.  Or maybe bleached.  Not really yellow, anyway.
     W.T. POOH (33-4430) (64-51-0,131) of SNOTZI'S II fought FAST-FINGERS FRED (101-
7) (0-0-0,110) of Local Louts.  W.T. POOH outlasted FAST-FINGERS FRED in an exciting 
10 minute gory duel.  So... which of those fingers was the fast one, and what 
happened to it?  This was our longest fight.
     TUTANKHAMUN (71-3357) (27-17-0,138) of CARTOUCHE fought HALLIE O'DENE (58-6018) 
(49-65-0,133) of CIRQUE DU MASQUES.  TUTANKHAMUN viciously subdued HALLIE O'DENE in 
an exciting 1 minute gory bout.  I thought mummies were lovers.  I guess that shows 
how much I know about 'em.
     BEER GOGGLES (33-6819) (28-27-1,124) of JOYS OF BOOZE fought ROWDY YOBBO (20-
3429) (22-21-1,94) of SPARF!  BEER GOGGLES was overcome by ROWDY YOBBO in an action 
packed 1 minute duel.  Everybody can overcome beer.  And associated conditions.  It 
goes with being a gladiator.  Although the managers are even worse.
     KAIDEN (35-3108) (84-82-2,160) of VIOLENT FEMS fought DITCH RAT (82-15360) (23-
23-3,129) of VERMIN!  KAIDEN was overpowered by DITCH RAT in an exciting 1 minute 
gory uneven fight.  Good!  Kaiden was well matched against a rat.  She's that kinda 
fem.
     BLACK HOLE SCRAG (43-3220) (29-19-1,169) of GUARDIANS fought AEDON (7-4295) (36-
18-1,113) of BLADES OF ICE.  BLACK HOLE SCRAG was luckily beaten by AEDON in a crowd 
pleasing 4 minute conflict.  Was it luck or good planning?  Can Aedon do it again?  
Go on, Aedon, I dare ya.
     BRICK (20-389) (36-33-0,159) of THE BLUES fought KONGOL (7-4524) (32-18-2,148) 
of BLADES OF ICE.  BRICK was savagely defeated by KONGOL in an exciting 1 minute 
brutal bout.  That's some kinda turnabout.  Usually it's the ice that gets smashed by 
the bricks.
     MOD COD (55-2638) (51-78-1,168) of RHYME TYME fought SIR VILE (10-4754) (27-25-
1,149) of SIR AGLIO.  MOD COD devastated SIR VILE in a 1 minute one-sided fight.  If 
you ask me, and even if you don't, Cod's vile, too.
     DELICE THE RED (56-3401) (49-52-1,199) of BAD APPLES fought TIME SQUARE (65-
4637) (28-11-0,151) of BIG APPLE MENACE.  DELICE THE RED was handily defeated by TIME 
SQUARE in a 1 minute mismatched bout.  Seems like there might be some kind of 
symmetry here.
     TICKLES (9-3486) (45-63-1,198) of MY PETS fought SPAZZ (33-6207) (42-37-0,169) 
of SNOTZI'S II.  TICKLES was viciously subdued by SPAZZ in a crowd pleasing 1 minute 
gruesome bout.  That's what happens when you go around tickling strangers with 
swords.
     BUDDERCUP (60-5967) (35-29-0,195) of BUMS 'R' US fought EMILY (17-5753) (28-17-
0,151) of BLADES OF STEEL.  BUDDERCUP was devastated by EMILY in a crowd pleasing 1 
minute gory mismatched bout.  Next time, kill the bum!

     Ah, challenge matches.  This shows that one or two managers were paying 
attention.  Even though they weren't writing personals.  Why do I care about the 
personals?  'Cause no personals makes me look bad, that's why.  So get busy, ya bums.
     BLACK JACK SHELACK (47-4850) (16-11-1,61) of ROYAL FLUSH challenged GAR & BRILL 
(38-4252) (24-32-0,83) of JUST BECAUSE.  Up 22.  BLACK JACK SHELACK overpowered GAR & 
BRILL in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge match.  Make 'em wash the grill, Black!
     SATOSHI KUNO (7-5229) (22-16-0,76) of NINJAS challenged FEAR (82-10416) (18-29-
1,76) of 4-LETTER ANXIETY.  Straight across.  SATOSHI KUNO was overpowered by FEAR in 
a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.  Happens all the time.
     MORADOR (2-5089) (25-9-1,72) of RESURRECTION challenged CREDIT LINE (82-1366) 
(0-11-0,49) of WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY.  Down 23.  MORADOR overpowered CREDIT LINE in a 
1 minute uneven Challenge duel.  Naturally.  Everyone knows that Credit Line can't 
win.  It's one of these special deals, right?  Like Job of Talcama with his 67-turn 
losing streak or whatever it was.
     ISHINOMORI (7-5390) (26-7-1,92) of NINJAS challenged QUONSET (10-4990) (26-19-
0,68) of QUBIT.  Down 24.  ISHINOMORI vanquished QUONSET in a 1 minute uneven 
Challenge duel.  I wish you wouldn't do that, Ish, we've got a housing shortage here.
     JOE KING (47-2223) (29-49-1,137) of ROYAL FLUSH challenged DIRT WORM (82-2315) 
(64-33-0,179) of VERMIN!!  Up 42.  JOE KING was overcome by DIRT WORM in an action 
packed 4 minute Challenge fight.  Anybody surprised?
     AERYN SUN (10-4268) (21-10-0,145) of FARSCAPE challenged ROT TEN EGGS (47-3099) 
(36-32-0,159) of ROYAL FLUSH.  Up 14.  AERYN SUN savagely defeated ROT TEN EGGS in an 
exciting 3 minute Challenge struggle.  Quite a stink, too.
     PERFECT TEN (47-4218) (27-20-1,169) of ROYAL FLUSH challenged IPECAC (45-3625) 
(23-14-0,145) of EMETICS.  Down 24.  PERFECT TEN subdued IPECAC in a crowd pleasing 3 
minute Challenge competition.  Prefect gets extra points for not throwing up once 
during the fight.  There aren't many stomachs strong enough for that.
     APPLE JACK (47-4011) (29-22-4,164) of ROYAL FLUSH challenged TUM (18-7380) (24-
16-2,195) of FROM THE FACE.  Up 31.  APPLE JACK was vanquished by TUM in a popular 1 
minute mismatched Challenge brawl.  This is what happens when you challenge up.
     JAKUCHU ITO (7-5102) (27-14-0,196) of NINJAS challenged 50 SUCKS (60-4129) (66-
35-1,228) of JOKA MASHER!  up 32.  JAKUCHU ITO vanquished 50 SUCKS in an exciting 1 
minute gory uneven Challenge battle.  Except, of course, when them as you challenge 
up to sucks.
     MICHAEL J'EH FOX (60-5263) (20-11-2,99) of INGRATE WHITE NORTH TV challenged 
FOUNTAINS OF WAYNE (98-809) (18-14-4,97) of COLLEGE RADIO.  Oh, a TV challenge, I'm 
impressed!  Down 2.  MICHAEL J'EH FOX devastated FOUNTAINS OF WAYNE in a 1 minute 
Challenge fight.  If you say so.

     And for the title, STEVE MCQUEEN (47-3908) (35-33-1,263) of ROYAL FLUSH fought 
MASHER (60-4553) (46-39-3,213) of JOKA MASHER!  STEVE MCQUEEN handily defeated MASHER 
in an exciting 1 minute one-sided Title contest.  Congratulations to Steve McQueen, 
writer of columns.  May your elbow never tire.

                                        Ogre

CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD          W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 STEVE MCQUEEN 47-3908       36  33  1  278  ROYAL FLUSH (146)          NORTH FORK

GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 JAKUCHU ITO 7-5102          28  14  0  227  NINJAS (1060)              BONSUR

GRAND CHAMPIONS               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 TUM 18-7380                 25  16  2  202  FROM THE FACE (1265)       TALCAMA
 50 SUCKS 60-4129            66  36  1  192  JOKA MASHER! (833)         ARADI
 SPAZZ 33-6207               43  37  0  192  SNOTZI'S II (813)          NIYTYOLE ISLAND
 MASHER 60-4553              46  40  3  191  JOKA MASHER! (833)         ARADI
-OBSESSED AVENGER 15-2162    44  47  1  191  DRAKE'S BAR-B-Q (313)      MALCORN
 EMILY 17-5753               29  17  0  187  BLADES OF STEEL (1068)     ALJAFIR
 TIME SQUARE 65-4637         29  11  0  186  BIG APPLE MENACE (836)     DAL SHANG
 DIRT WORM 82-2315           65  33  0  181  VERMIN!! (1124)            DWES EG
 TICKLES 9-3486              45  64  1  181  MY PETS (554)              ZUKAL

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 MOD COD 55-2638             52  78  1  174  RHYME TYME (449)           KHALANI
 PERFECT TEN 47-4218         28  20  1  174  ROYAL FLUSH (146)          NORTH FORK
-DUKE OF EARL 19-2401        16  14  0  174  THE ROYAL FAMILY (1036)    ZUWAYZA
 DELICE THE RED 56-3401      49  53  1  170  BAD APPLES (1091)          ROCANIS
 BUDDERCUP 60-5967           35  30  0  166  BUMS 'R' US (1142)         ARADI
 APPLE JACK 47-4011          29  23  4  164  ROYAL FLUSH (146)          NORTH FORK
 KONGOL 7-4524               33  18  2  162  BLADES OF ICE (162)        BONSUR
 AERYN SUN 10-4268           22  10  0  162  FARSCAPE (1277)            KOLACT
 DITCH RAT 82-15360          24  23  3  157  VERMIN! (1267)             DWES EG
-DAMION 21-87                36  27  3  155  SONS OF SATAN (21)         SUNSET
 AEDON 7-4295                37  18  1  152  BLADES OF ICE (162)        BONSUR
 BRICK 20-389                36  34  0  152  THE BLUES (1286)           SEAM
-LUNA TYCK 33-5761           35  38  1  151  DRAKE'S PETTING ZOO (1075) NIYTYOLE ISLAND

GRAND ADEPTS                  W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 ROT TEN EGGS 47-3099        36  33  0  150  ROYAL FLUSH (146)          NORTH FORK
 JOE KING 47-2223            29  50  1  150  ROYAL FLUSH (146)          NORTH FORK
-THUNDRA 60-5122             26  15  1  150  FA CHING (1279)            ARADI
 IPECAC 45-3625              23  15  0  150  EMETICS (1242)             STORMCROWE
 SPUTTER 82-15095            30  16  1  148  JOKA MASHER (917)          DWES EG
 TUTANKHAMUN 71-3357         28  17  0  145  CARTOUCHE (1111)           KYR'TERR
 BLACK HOLE SCRAG 43-3220    29  20  1  144  GUARDIANS (1287)           VEASTIAN
 SIR VILE 10-4754            27  26  1  144  SIR AGLIO (788)            KOLACT
 KAIDEN 35-3108              84  83  2  134  VIOLENT FEMS (972)         MURSKA
 W.T. POOH 33-4430           65  51  0  134  SNOTZI'S II (813)          NIYTYOLE ISLAND
 HALLIE O'DENE 58-6018       49  66  0  133  CIRQUE DU MASQUES (1093)   DELARQ TOR
-SCOOTER 54-118              20   9  1  127  THE MUPPETS (1289)         TROCAR
 YELLOWBEARD 18-2149         27  14  0  119  SEA DOGS (426)             TALCAMA
 ROWDY YOBBO 20-3429         23  21  1  116  SPARF! (1069)              SEAM
-NUTMEG 7-5167               21  15  1  116  SUGAR AND SPICE (1231)     BONSUR
 MICHAEL J'EH FOX 60-5263    21  11  2  110  INGRATE WHITE NORTH (1006) ARADI
 OSCAR 50-3153               29   7  0  108  OPEN SESAME (824)          SNOWBOUND
 BEER GOGGLES 33-6819        28  28  1  106  JOYS OF BOOZE (1209)       NIYTYOLE ISLAND
 KIDNEY 96-972               14   8  3  104  ORGAN ON THE SANDS (1272)  OLD VALAMANTIS
-RAISON D'ETRE 7-5311        20  16  3  103  BATHTUB ARMADA (1196)      BONSUR
-BLACKBURST 60-5025          19  16  0  103  FA CHING (1279)            ARADI
 ISHINOMORI 7-5390           27   7  1  101  NINJAS (1060)              BONSUR

GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 BECKY 17-5782               13   1  2   93  BLADES OF STEEL (1068)     ALJAFIR
 FOUNTAINS OF WAYNE 98-809   18  15  4   91  COLLEGE RADIO (1223)       SYVYN'S HILL

GRAND INITIATES               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 EXILE 7-4618                23  19  1   90  BLADES OF ICE (162)        BONSUR
 FEAR 82-10416               19  29  1   90  4-LETTER ANXIETY (1271)    DWES EG
 BLACK JACK SHELACK 47-4850  17  11  1   83  ROYAL FLUSH (146)          NORTH FORK

GRAND INITIATES               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 KOOKABURRA 33-4151          48  69  2   81  GIRL SCOUT COOKIES (812)   NIYTYOLE ISLAND
 MARY RETZLAFF 3-6119        20  28  1   79  AMERICAN APPRAISAL (1268)  OSKSI
 MORADOR 2-5089              26   9  1   76  RESURRECTION (1065)        NIANIA
 CLOUDS AWAY 50-3332         17   6  2   74  OPEN SESAME (824)          SNOWBOUND
 IMMOVEABLE OBJECT 59-2110   20   5  1   73  NOT QUITE (1237)           ILLIS
 MAN O' WAR 15-4517          21   9  1   71  TRIPLE CROWN (990)         MALCORN
 QUONSET 10-4990             26  20  0   69  QUBIT (1136)               KOLACT
 HEART 97-1096                7  15  4   69  ORGANS ON THE SAND (1273)  SHADOW GROVE
 QUIBBLE 10-4756             22  46  0   68  QUBIT (1136)               KOLACT
 SATOSHI KUNO 7-5229         22  17  0   66  NINJAS (1060)              BONSUR
-KASENKO 73-4445             19   7  2   66  PERFECTION QUEST II (1303) ERINIKA
 GAR & BRILL 38-4252         24  33  0   64  JUST BECAUSE (1228)        CLIFFHOME
 CARRIE NATION 64-4054       42  75  0   63  REFORMERS (1095)           KURUKAR
 SKI MASK 58-5869            36  60  0   61  CIRQUE DU MASQUES (1093)   DELARQ TOR
-THORNE 60-5259              18   5  0   57  FA CHING (1279)            ARADI
 PRIZMATYK WAHL 73-4252      16   8  1   57  MAGIC MAYHEM (1298)        ERINIKA
 HOCKEY DUCK 39-937          24  17  1   55  DUCKS UNLIMITED (1221)     XOCHITHLAN
 PUTZ'N ALONG 60-5437        32  30  0   54  JOKA MASHER! (833)         ARADI
-WISPER 1-5753               14   8  2   52  SWEORDMASTERS (1210)       MORDANT
-A. CAPONE 18-3228           14  16  3   50  UNTOUCHABLES (1190)        TALCAMA
 CREDIT LINE 82-1366          0  12  0   49  WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY (1274 DWES EG
-NUTCRACKER 38-4380          18   6  1   41  ALL FINESSE (1236)         CLIFFHOME

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                    W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY              TURN

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

Steve McQueen -- With something as important as a title match, you didn't have the
good sense to let ME win? -- Delice the Red and Annoyed

Emily -- On the off-chance that your manager actually reads the personals, I will
say, good match.  Sneaky. -- Hallie O'Dene

Fountains of Wayne -- And it's not even GOOD beer. -- Carrie Nation

Gar & Brill -- Ski Mask had a lot to say, but since nobody seems to be doing
personals but us--yes, I saw your note last time, Shocking Toad, but it doesn't
change the basic facts--and since I didn't feel like typing it, we'll pass. -- Ho-
Chan, for Ski Mask (ugh) and others

16 June 2004
                             Death Fest Begins July 29/DM 59 T-172

     "You drive a hard bargain Hammer," responded Lord Lian Ki Na-Sul, "but the 
Gladiatorial Commission has agreed to re-open DM 58 Delarq Tor as a Slow Arena 
exclusively for a period of six months to those Death Fest contestants who fight 
their stables at least 67 times out of a possible 75 during the 15 rounds of Death 
Fest; on the condition that at least 20 stables qualify for the Illis Iron Stable 
Award at the conclusion of the Death Fest and those qualifying managers send a New 
Stable to DM 58 Delarq Tor without Cannibalizing their participation in the other 
arenas where they have active stables!"
     Hammer felt a certain sense of satisfaction as he studied the ghoulish grin 
spreading across the face of Lord Lian Ki Na-Sul; proud Arena Master of the once 
dying Illis Arena, as the DM 59 Arena Authority signed the Gladiatorial Commission 
papers authenticating the arrangement agreed upon by the two parties presiding.
     "You and the Gladiatorial Commission also drive a hard bargain," Hammer replied 
as he reflected upon the prospects of Delarq Tor DM 58 being re-opened as a Slow 
Arena with at least 20 New Stables by the Managers who fight their stables at least 
67 times out of a possible 75 during the 15 rounds of Death Fest. "I also notice the 
clause that for Delarq Tor to be open Exclusively for 6 months to the New Stables 
managed by the Illis Iron Stable Award Winners that there must be at least 15 stables 
Active each cycle. That is a fair bargain for the opportunity to battle for the 
Duelmaster Throne each of those six months before Other New Stables are allowed to 
enter Delarq Tor."
     This was a Golden Opportunity for both Veteran and Newbie Managers to pave a new 
frontier of Delarq history by qualifying their Death Fest stables in DM 59 with 67 
fights out of a possible 75; then for the price of running a stable in a Regular 
Arena, continuing to be Active in DM 59 and sending a New Team Roll Up to be a part 
of "History in the Making" when Delarq Tor would re-open for its First Turn as a Slow 
Arena on November 3rd, 2005.
     Death Fest would conclude on T-186 August 25th, 2005 allowing the Illis Iron 
Stable Award Winners enough time to be registered with the Gladiatorial Commission; 
whereupon they would be able to submit a New Team Roll Up to the GC to start a New 
Stable in Delarq Tor; be able to fight those New Gladiators in the Rookies 2005 Fall 
Mailer Tourney; then begin competing for the DM 58 Duelmasters Throne in Delarq Tor 
right out of the gate with the November 3rd 2005 T-1 Debut Opening Round.
     Hammer of the First Part had also negotiated with Lord Na-Zul of the Second Part 
an agreement that All 10 Dark Arena Monsters and 17 NPCs Characters be re-named by 
the Top Ten Death Fest Finishers. [See DM 59 T-171 Newsletter Team Spotlight by 
Hammer for the complete listing of Dark Arena Monsters/NPCs and the Official Death 
Fest Designation for which Top Ten Finishers re-name which characters!]
     Lord Na-Sul could not hide his delight at the prospects of Death being re-
delivered to his once dying arena during the Delarq Death Fest; the DM 59 Arena 
Master agreed that these Death Fest Prizes were but a Small Exchange in Comparison to 
the Profits to be made by the local Illis business merchants and surrounding 
community from the Anticipated Influx into Illis by the Veteran and Newbie 
Managers/Gladiators/Stables seeking to make History in the Delarq Death Fest.
     Nor could Hammer conceal his jubilation regarding the Call Across Alistari being 
Answered to Cross Blades and Match Wits with the Devious, the Diabolical, the 
Dangerous and the Down Challenging who were being drawn to the Delarq Death Fest to 
Fulfill their Delarq Dueling Destiny!
     REMEMBER: Death Fest begins July 29th T-172 with 25 points being awarded to 
those who write a minimum 15 paragraph Team Spotlight [including Stable Name & 
Managerial Alias in the Storyline!] for the DM 59 T-172 Newsletter [So Make Sure HAL 
Does Not Eat any Lengthy Sentences that are Emailed without Proper Formatting; and 
the RSI Typist has Plenty of Time to Type Any Hand Written Spotlights; Lest Ye 
Discover 0 Points Awarded for a Missing or Incomplete T-172 Team Spotlight!]
     "May Your Blades Be Sharp and Your Wits Sharper!"  -- Hammer/Death Fest 
Host/Vendetta Cartel Captain; WordSmith and High Priest of the Crimson Ascension 
Family in DM 28

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

MICHAEL J'EH FOX devastated FOUNTAINS OF WAYNE in a 1 minute Challenge fight.
JAKUCHU ITO vanquished 50 SUCKS in a exciting 1 minute gory uneven Challenge battle.
APPLE JACK was vanquished by TUM in a popular 1 minute mismatched Challenge brawl.
PERFECT TEN subdued IPECAC in a crowd pleasing 3 minute Challenge competition.
AERYN SUN savagely defeated ROT TEN EGGS in a exciting 3 minute Challenge struggle.
JOE KING was overcome by DIRT WORM in a action packed 4 minute Challenge fight.
ISHINOMORI vanquished QUONSET in a 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
MORADOR overpowered CREDIT LINE in a 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
SATOSHI KUNO was overpowered by FEAR in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
BLACK JACK SHELACK overpowered GAR & BRILL in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge match.
STEVE MCQUEEN handily defeated MASHER in a exciting 1 minute one-sided Title contest.
BUDDERCUP was devastated by EMILY in a crowd pleasing 1 minute gory mismatched bout.
TICKLES was viciously subdued by SPAZZ in a crowd pleasing 1 minute gruesome bout.
DELICE THE RED was handily defeated by TIME SQUARE in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
MOD COD devastated SIR VILE in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
BRICK was savagely defeated by KONGOL in a exciting 1 minute brutal bout.
BLACK HOLE SCRAG was luckily beaten by AEDON in a crowd pleasing 4 minute conflict.
KAIDEN was overpowered by DITCH RAT in a exciting 1 minute gory uneven fight.
BEER GOGGLES was overcome by ROWDY YOBBO in a action packed 1 minute duel.
TUTANKHAMUN viciously subdued HALLIE O'DENE in a exciting 1 minute gory bout.
W.T. POOH outlasted FAST-FINGERS FRED in a exciting 10 minute gory duel.
SPUTTER vanquished YELLOWBEARD in a exciting 1 minute one-sided fight.
KIDNEY vanquished CLOUDS AWAY in a 1 minute uneven bout.
KOOKABURRA was handily defeated by MARY ANN in a exciting 1 minute bloody uneven bout.
OSCAR slimly won victory over EXILE in a popular 4 minute gory bout.
HEART viciously subdued PUTZ'N ALONG in a popular 3 minute brutal fray.
PRIZMATYK WAHL was subdued by MAN O' WAR in a 2 minute fight.
CARRIE NATION overpowered B&G BOUNCER in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
MARY RETZLAFF savagely defeated HOCKEY DUCK in a exciting 3 minute bloody fray.
IMMOVEABLE OBJECT unbelievably bested QUIBBLE in a crowd pleasing 5 minute fight.
SKI MASK was demolished by BECKY in a action packed 1 minute one-sided struggle.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  15         PARRY-LUNGE       11 -   5 -  0      69  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    9         SLASHING ATTACK   34 -  16 -  1      68  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  9         LUNGING ATTACK    84 -  65 -  1      56  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   8         TOTAL PARRY       27 -  26 -  0      51  |
|AIMED BLOW                       7         BASHING ATTACK    38 -  46 -  0      45  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      5         PARRY-STRIKE       9 -  11 -  0      45  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  4         STRIKING ATTACK   41 -  51 -  2      45  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      1         WALL OF STEEL     40 -  50 -  1      44  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         AIMED BLOW        23 -  31 -  0      43  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    1         PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -   2 -  0       0  |

Turn 379 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  0     WALL OF STEEL      4 -  5         3  LUNGING ATTACK 
SLASHING ATTACK    4 -  0     AIMED BLOW         3 -  4         3  BASHING ATTACK 
LUNGING ATTACK    10 -  5     BASHING ATTACK     3 -  5         2  AIMED BLOW     
TOTAL PARRY        3 -  2     STRIKING ATTACK    3 -  6         1  WALL OF STEEL  
                              PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  1         1  PARRY-STRIKE   
                              PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  1         1  TOTAL PARRY    

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
AIMED BLOW       STEVE MCQUEEN 47-3908      36  33  1  278 ROYAL FLUSH (146)
LUNGING ATTACK   JAKUCHU ITO 7-5102         28  14  0  227 NINJAS (1060)
WALL OF STEEL    50 SUCKS 60-4129           66  36  1  192 JOKA MASHER! (833)
BASHING ATTACK   SPAZZ 33-6207              43  37  0  192 SNOTZI'S II (813)
TOTAL PARRY      DIRT WORM 82-2315          65  33  0  181 VERMIN!! (1124)
STRIKING ATTACK  DELICE THE RED 56-3401     49  53  1  170 BAD APPLES (1091)
PARRY-LUNGE      AERYN SUN 10-4268          22  10  0  162 FARSCAPE (1277)
PARRY-STRIKE     ROT TEN EGGS 47-3099       36  33  0  150 ROYAL FLUSH (146)
SLASHING ATTACK  MICHAEL J'EH FOX 60-5263   21  11  2  110 INGRATE WHITE NORTH (1006)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    HOCKEY DUCK 39-937         24  17  1   55 DUCKS UNLIMITED (1221)

The overall popularity leader is KAIDEN 35-3108.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was BLACK HOLE SCRAG 43-3220.  The ten other most popular fighters were EXILE 7-4618, 
IPECAC 45-3625, QUIBBLE 10-4756, HEART 97-1096, MARY RETZLAFF 3-6119, AERYN SUN 
10-4268, JOE KING 47-2223, W.T. POOH 33-4430, SPAZZ 33-6207, and JAKUCHU ITO 7-5102.

The least popular fighter this week was CLOUDS AWAY 50-3332.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were YELLOWBEARD 18-2149, SIR VILE 10-4754, CREDIT LINE 82-1366, 
QUONSET 10-4990, FOUNTAINS OF WAYNE 98-809, SKI MASK 58-5869, HOCKEY DUCK 39-937, 
PRIZMATYK WAHL 73-4252, KAIDEN 35-3108, and BRICK 20-389.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
NIANIA(2)            1  0 0  MURSKA(35)           0  1 0  ILLIS(59)            1  0 0  
OSKSI(3)             1  0 0  CLIFFHOME(38)        0  1 0  ARADI(60)            1  4 0  
BONSUR(7)            4  2 0  XOCHITHLAN(39)       0  1 0  KURUKAR(64)          1  0 0  
ZUKAL(9)             0  1 0  VEASTIAN(43)         0  1 0  DAL SHANG(65)        1  0 0  
KOLACT(10)           1  3 0  STORMCROWE(45)       0  1 0  KYR'TERR(71)         1  0 0  
MALCORN(15)          1  0 0  NORTH FORK(47)       4  3 0  ERINIKA(73)          0  1 0  
ALJAFIR(17)          2  0 0  SNOWBOUND(50)        1  1 0  DWES EG(82)          4  1 0  
TALCAMA(18)          1  1 0  KHALANI(55)          1  0 0  OLD VALAMANTIS(96)   1  0 0  
SEAM(20)             1  1 0  ROCANIS(56)          0  1 0  SHADOW GROVE(97)     1  0 0  
NIYTYOLE ISLAND(33)  2  2 0  DELARQ TOR(58)       0  2 0  SYVYN'S HILL(98)     0  1 0  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 MORADOR 2-5089              26   9  1   76  RESURRECTION (1065)        NIANIA
 MARY RETZLAFF 3-6119        20  28  1   79  AMERICAN APPRAISAL (1268)  OSKSI
 JAKUCHU ITO 7-5102          28  14  0  227  NINJAS (1060)              BONSUR
 TICKLES 9-3486              45  64  1  181  MY PETS (554)              ZUKAL
 AERYN SUN 10-4268           22  10  0  162  FARSCAPE (1277)            KOLACT
 MAN O' WAR 15-4517          21   9  1   71  TRIPLE CROWN (990)         MALCORN
 EMILY 17-5753               29  17  0  187  BLADES OF STEEL (1068)     ALJAFIR
 TUM 18-7380                 25  16  2  202  FROM THE FACE (1265)       TALCAMA
 BRICK 20-389                36  34  0  152  THE BLUES (1286)           SEAM
 SPAZZ 33-6207               43  37  0  192  SNOTZI'S II (813)          NIYTYOLE ISLAND
 KAIDEN 35-3108              84  83  2  134  VIOLENT FEMS (972)         MURSKA
 GAR & BRILL 38-4252         24  33  0   64  JUST BECAUSE (1228)        CLIFFHOME
 HOCKEY DUCK 39-937          24  17  1   55  DUCKS UNLIMITED (1221)     XOCHITHLAN
 BLACK HOLE SCRAG 43-3220    29  20  1  144  GUARDIANS (1287)           VEASTIAN
 IPECAC 45-3625              23  15  0  150  EMETICS (1242)             STORMCROWE
 STEVE MCQUEEN 47-3908       36  33  1  278  ROYAL FLUSH (146)          NORTH FORK
 OSCAR 50-3153               29   7  0  108  OPEN SESAME (824)          SNOWBOUND
 MOD COD 55-2638             52  78  1  174  RHYME TYME (449)           KHALANI
 DELICE THE RED 56-3401      49  53  1  170  BAD APPLES (1091)          ROCANIS
 HALLIE O'DENE 58-6018       49  66  0  133  CIRQUE DU MASQUES (1093)   DELARQ TOR
 IMMOVEABLE OBJECT 59-2110   20   5  1   73  NOT QUITE (1237)           ILLIS
 50 SUCKS 60-4129            66  36  1  192  JOKA MASHER! (833)         ARADI
 CARRIE NATION 64-4054       42  75  0   63  REFORMERS (1095)           KURUKAR
 TIME SQUARE 65-4637         29  11  0  186  BIG APPLE MENACE (836)     DAL SHANG
 TUTANKHAMUN 71-3357         28  17  0  145  CARTOUCHE (1111)           KYR'TERR
 PRIZMATYK WAHL 73-4252      16   8  1   57  MAGIC MAYHEM (1298)        ERINIKA
 DIRT WORM 82-2315           65  33  0  181  VERMIN!! (1124)            DWES EG
 KIDNEY 96-972               14   8  3  104  ORGAN ON THE SANDS (1272)  OLD VALAMANTIS
 HEART 97-1096                7  15  4   69  ORGANS ON THE SAND (1273)  SHADOW GROVE
 FOUNTAINS OF WAYNE 98-809   18  15  4   91  COLLEGE RADIO (1223)       SYVYN'S HILL