AD
Date : 07/28/2004 Duedate: 08/10/2004
HOME GUARD
DM-101 TURN-381
RANK TEAMS W L K % RANK TEAMS W L K %
1 COLLEGE RADI 98/1223 131 72 0 64.5 CHAPEL ROCK 79/776
BIG APPLE MENACE 65/836 INGRATE WHITE NORTH 60/1006
ARCANE BEACH DAY 98/1305 NOT QUITE 59/1237
2 MAGIC MAYHEM 73/1298 23 17 1 57.5 ROYAL FLUSH 47/146
SCREEN DREAMS 47/1299 BLOWN AWAY 44/820
3 BLADES OF ICE 7/162 338 251 6 57.4 OPEN SESAME 50/824
BLADES OF STEEL 17/1068 DUCKS UNLIMITED 39/1221
4 FARSCAPE 10/1277 13 10 0 56.5 11 NINJAS 7/1060 206 199 2 50.9
THE BLUES 20/1286 FROM THE FACE 18/1265
GUARDIANS 43/1287 LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... 36/1304
5 CARTOUCHE 71/1111 517 409 4 55.8 RESURRECTION 2/1065
6 4-LETTER ANX 82/1271 255 213 1 54.5 12 ALL FINESSE 38/1236 55 54 0 50.5
GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME 99/1306 SUGAR AND SPICE 7/1231
ORGAN ON THE SANDS 96/1272 BATHTUB ARMADA 7/1196
ORGANS ON THE SAND 97/1273 PERFECTION QUEST II 73/1303
WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY 82/1274 13 EMETICS 45/1242 52 55 0 48.6
7 QUBIT 10/1136 772 653 6 54.2 BUMS 'R' US 60/1142
JOKA MASHER! 60/833 JOYS OF BOOZE 33/1209
TRIPLE CROWN 15/990 14 VIOLENT FEMS 35/972 390 523 9 42.7
SIR AGLIO 10/788 JUST BECAUSE 38/1228
VERMIN! 82/1267 15 MY PETS 9/554 464 725 11 39.0
SNOTZI'S II 33/813 RHYME TYME 55/449
VERMIN!! 82/1124 GIRL SCOUT COOKIES 33/812
JOKA MASHER 82/917 16 REFORMERS 64/1095 434 737 4 37.1
VERMIN 72/771 CIRQUE DU MASQUES 58/1093
8-SEA DOGS 18/426 23 22 0 51.1 BAD APPLES 56/1091
9 SITTIN' ON A 63/1302 74 71 0 51.0 17-THE GUARDIANS 21/939 4 7 0 36.4
ANDORIAN UNIVERSITY 66/1123 18 AMERICAN APPR 3/1268 4 10 0 28.6
10 SPARF! 20/1069 693 668 10 50.9
'##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id '-' Team did not fight this turn
REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER
Tourneys are a damned nuisance. Yeahyeahyeah, I know the deal: meet old friends
and new ones, fight people you might never encounter otherwise, and generally have a
high old time. Okay, I've got nothing against that. But what *I* say is we should
all take a two-week vacation for the tourneys, no rushing from regularly scheduled
fights to the tourney and back again, make a leisurely approach, have plenty of time
to recover from the hangovers, the whole nine yards. Not that it's every going to
happen. Make things easy on the staff? As if! as Debby Tonte would say.
Oh, well, here's the notes for this cycle:
Alarond the Scribe says that Blades of Ice is known by "smart managers" as the
team to beat, and that Royal Flush has been most-avoiding them. Oooo-kay. Does this
mean that Royal Flush doesn't have a smart manager? Because if he's avoiding, he
isn't trying to beat them, is he? Or is it just another example of how little
Alarond the Scribe knows about anything at all, including the proper use of words?
Brick from The Blues got the most challenges. Of course, with only thirteen
challenge matches out of thirty-five fights, that COULD mean that somebody simply
double-challenged him. You can't tell. Or at least, the Commission doesn't give me
any notes that tell. Always stingy with information, the Commission. Probably some
kind of plot.
So that's thirty-five fights, thirteen challenge matches (no TV challenges, what
were you all doing, getting drunk and losing fights?), one death. The longest fight
was seven minutes, which is respectable, though hardly a turtle.
The state of the personals in this arena, however, is not respectable in the
least. What is it with you guys? Can't you find any public scribe to write down
your profound thoughts, or did the dogs eat your homework? The fans have been
threatening to provide their OWN personals to add a little interest to the
newsletter, and if you don't want to open it up next time and read all about lost
dogs, carriages for sale, and who knows what sort of junk, unlimber your pens and get
busy.
The fights:
QUIBBLE (10-4756) (23-46-0,87) of QUBIT fought SATOSHI KUNO (7-5229) (22-18-
0,62) of NINJAS. QUIBBLE savagely defeated SATOSHI KUNO in a popular 4 minute bloody
duel. Some people just can't stand any kind of argument. I'm like that myself, but
*I* react with an axe, not by losing a fight.
PUTZ'N ALONG (60-5437) (32-31-0,53) of JOKA MASHER! fought MARY RETZLAFF (3-
6119) (20-29-1,84) of AMERICAN APPRAISAL. PUTZ'N ALONG luckily beat MARY RETZLAFF in
a popular 7 minute duel. Our longest fight, and the winner attributes it to luck?
What a turkey! I take it back that this was a fight of respectable length. Okay,
maybe the length was respectable, but the content sucks. Luck? Sheesh.
CARRIE NATION (64-4054) (42-76-0,62) of REFORMERS fought MAN O' WAR (15-4517)
(21-10-1,74) of TRIPLE CROWN. CARRIE NATION was demolished by MAN O' WAR in a 1
minute mismatched match. Must be a pain to be Carrie and not be able to attribute
her loss to HER having a hangover. Think of the good excuses you lose when you take
a blue-nosed stance! It isn't worth it.
2 PHAT (72-5064) (18-4-1,42) of VERMIN fought ELENA (63-2356) (14-4-0,46) of
SITTIN' ON ACES. 2 PHAT was devastated by ELENA in a popular 1 minute uneven bout.
Are we to infer from this that Elena knows the Secret Perfect No-Pain EZ-Loss
Grapefruit-and-Pumpkin Diet? If so, she'd better WATCH OUT, because that is
CLASSIFIED information, Not To Be Released To The General Public On Pain Of Porking
Up.
CREDIT LINE (82-1366) (0-13-0,51) of WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY fought BLACK EYE (60-
6163) (17-11-0,61) of JOKA MASHER! CREDIT LINE was bested by BLACK EYE in an
exciting 1 minute battle. Ho! Does that mean that somebody's credit has taken a
blow? Good! You gladiators spend too much money anyway. If you have less to spend
on beer, you can practice more. Besides, spending on credit is the bane of
something-or-other.
R IS FOR REPUGNANT (99-1155) (7-3-4,28) of GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME fought GAR & BRILL
(38-4252) (24-34-0,67) of JUST BECAUSE. R IS FOR REPUGNANT luckily beat GAR & BRILL
in a 2 minute gory uneven contest. Maybe this means that Gar will finally have to
glean that creasy brill. High time!
PRIZMATYK WAHL (73-4252) (17-8-2,98) of MAGIC MAYHEM fought QUONSET (10-4990)
(27-20-0,72) of QUBIT. PRIZMATYK WAHL beat QUONSET in an action packed 1 minute
bout. Too bad, really. I kinda liked those metal ribs, like living inside a
xylophone. Bing, bang, bong!
ISHINOMORI (7-5390) (27-8-1,94) of NINJAS fought BECKY (17-5782) (14-1-2,100) of
BLADES OF STEEL. ISHINOMORI overpowered BECKY in a 1 minute one-sided fight. Who's
this Becky person who is fighting on the Isle with only fifteen regular-arena fights?
Some wench, obviously, and an insult to every warrior who has sweated through his
nineteenth and twentieth fights with the shadow of death hanging over him.
KONGOL (7-4524) (33-19-2,150) of BLADES OF ICE fought MARY ANN (47-4378) (15-19-
0,91) of SCREEN DREAMS. KONGOL was savagely defeated by MARY ANN in a 2 minute
brutal match. This Kongol's got to be some kind of nut. A blade of ICE in the
middle of the summer? What was he thinking? Of course it melted!
SPUTTER (82-15095) (30-17-1,138) of JOKA MASHER fought EXILE (7-4618) (24-19-
1,92) of BLADES OF ICE. SPUTTER was narrowly defeated by EXILE in an action packed 3
minute gruesome fight. Narrowly. Somebody define a "narrow" defeat, will you? And
a "slim" one, for that matter. How come we never see any "broad" or "fat" victories?
This is rank widthism!
TUTANKHAMUN (71-3357) (28-18-0,139) of CARTOUCHE fought IRON-PLATED IRV (101-10)
(0-0-0,150) of Local Louts. TUTANKHAMUN handily defeated IRON-PLATED IRV in a 1
minute mismatched bout. I should hope so! I've seen Tut, you know, and not just at
the fights. He's GOLD plated. That's gotta top iron plated. Not to mention the
muscles it takes to carry it around.
NED THE JANITOR (66-2973) (23-22-0,137) of ANDORIAN UNIVERSITY fought AEDON (7-
4295) (37-19-1,129) of BLADES OF ICE. NED THE JANITOR vanquished AEDON in an action
packed 2 minute gory uneven bout. Ned is a graduate of the Maintenance School of
Martial Arts, you know, the one where they teach you to wash windows, sweep the
floor, stuff like that, and it all turnes out to be sneaky martial arts moves.
HALLIE O'DENE (58-6018) (49-67-0,129) of CIRQUE DU MASQUES fought ROT TEN EGGS
(47-3099) (36-34-0,150) of ROYAL FLUSH. HALLIE O'DENE defeated ROT TEN EGGS in a 3
minute brutal bout. Three minutes in the company of a rotten egg is brutal indeed!
I vote that we award Hallie a breath mint.
KAIDEN (35-3108) (85-83-2,156) of VIOLENT FEMS fought BEER GOGGLES (33-6819)
(29-28-1,137) of JOYS OF BOOZE. KAIDEN vanquished BEER GOGGLES in an action packed 1
minute one-sided match. This may be somebody's idea of joy, but it sure isn't mine!
Beer goggles? Phooey. Not that I'd willing go a minute with that violent fem just
to get 'em vanquished. That's too extreme.
IPECAC (45-3625) (24-15-0,161) of EMETICS fought UZI (44-1701) (27-25-1,154) of
BLOWN AWAY. IPECAC devastated UZI in a popular 1 minute gory one-sided bout.
Instead of being blown away, Uzi had his cookies tossed, and a crumby mess it was,
too. If you MUST toss cookies, used drop cookies, as they're used to it. Not
brittle sugar cookies. Trying to make us think you're sweet as sugar?
DITCH RAT (82-15360) (25-23-3,179) of VERMIN! fought POPE PAUL II (79-1317) (22-
13-0,137) of CHAPEL ROCK. DITCH RAT was narrowly defeated by POPE PAUL II in an
action packed 3 minute fray. They tell me that this match was fraught with social
significance. Oh, yeah? I thought it was fraught with swords, myself.
AERYN SUN (10-4268) (23-10-0,176) of FARSCAPE fought SPAZZ (33-6207) (43-38-
0,176) of SNOTZI'S II. AERYN SUN devastated SPAZZ in an action packed 1 minute
brutal one-sided bout. Aeryn has now been renamed "Aeryn Nova" for that devastating
and brutal explosion. Ask at the Lost and Found window if you need more aloe vera
for your sunburn.
MOD COD (55-2638) (52-79-1,161) of RHYME TYME fought KIDNEY (96-972) (15-8-
3,123) of ORGAN ON THE SANDS. MOD COD overpowered KIDNEY in a 1 minute mismatched
conflict. Not to be wondered at. Well, look at it, Mod Cod has over a hundred
figths (no, I'm not going to do the math, figure it out yourself if you burn to
know), which means the disgusting fish has been around a LOT longer than three days.
Talk about ripe!
DIRT WORM (82-2315) (66-33-0,196) of VERMIN!! fought ARENAMASTER AZEEM (101-28)
(0-0-0,200) of Local Louts. DIRT WORM was beaten by ARENAMASTER AZEEM in an exciting
3 minute bout. Naturally. You think that because you're on the Isle, you no longer
need fear the arenamaster? Ha! Arenamasters aren't just your ordinary standbys.
They're the toughest of the tough, and don't you forget it!
BUDDERCUP (60-5967) (36-30-0,182) of BUMS 'R' US fought EMILY (17-5753) (29-18-
0,190) of BLADES OF STEEL. BUDDERCUP was devastated by EMILY in an exciting 2 minute
brutal one-sided brawl. Good! Carve that bum from stem to stamen, Em!
TUM (18-7380) (26-16-2,216) of FROM THE FACE fought MASHER (60-4553) (46-41-
3,187) of JOKA MASHER! TUM overcame MASHER in a crowd pleasing 1 minute bout. I
dunno, this fight doesn't move me to comment.
On to the challenge matches, which means I'm on the home stretch. I could use a
good stretch about now. People might like to know about hidden tourney fights these
warriors might possess, but don't look at me for the information. If it doesn't
show, I don't know it. Or, at least, I'm not talking about it. However, if anyone
wants to post their FE for me to refer to, I will actually put the note somewhere
that it won't get lost.
CLOUDS AWAY (50-3332) (17-6-2,74) of OPEN SESAME challenged MORADOR (2-5089)
(27-9-1,80) of RESURRECTION. Up 6. CLOUDS AWAY handily defeated MORADOR in a 1
minute one-sided Challenge conflict. So tell me about "clouds away." Sounds like
something for washing windows?
NUTCRACKER (38-4380) (18-6-1,41) of ALL FINESSE challenged PINK BEAR (36-5883)
(22-11-1,70) of LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... up 29. NUTCRACKER was demolished by PINK BEAR
in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge brawl. Pink? That's... that's indecent. Pink?
What self-respecting bear would go out in public in PINK? I'd get a dye job if it
was me.
HOCKEY DUCK (39-937) (24-17-1,55) of DUCKS UNLIMITED challenged SKI MASK (58-
5869) (37-60-0,86) of CIRQUE DU MASQUES. Up 31, for a fowl contest! HOCKEY DUCK
slimly won victory over SKI MASK in an exciting 3 minute Challenge contest. I wonder
if it's ever occurred to Ski Mask that taking off the mask might make fighting
easier? Better visibility. Maybe even a little easier to breath. Not as hot.
Stuff like that.
BLACK JACK SHELACK (47-4850) (17-12-1,62) of ROYAL FLUSH challenged FEAR (82-
10416) (20-29-1,97) of 4-LETTER ANXIETY. Up 35. BLACK JACK SHELACK was overpowered
by FEAR in a 3 minute one-sided Challenge match. One of the big deals, fear.
Everyone says you should avoid it, or him or her as the case might be. Looks like
"everyone" is right this time.
IMMOVEABLE OBJECT (59-2110) (20-5-1,73) of NOT QUITE challenged KOOKABURRA (33-
4151) (48-70-2,77) of GIRL SCOUT COOKIES. Up 4. IMMOVEABLE OBJECT was overpowered
by KOOKABURRA in a 1 minute Challenge fight. Does this mean the Object moved, or
that Kookaburra found some other way around? Inquiring minds want to know.
OSCAR (50-3153) (29-7-0,108) of OPEN SESAME challenged NUTMEG (7-5167) (21-15-
1,116) of SUGAR AND SPICE. Up 8. OSCAR was viciously subdued by NUTMEG in an action
packed 3 minute Challenge fight. Somehow I never visualized nutmeg as being a
vicious substance. Just shows what I know, eh?
RAISON D'ETRE (7-5311) (20-16-3,103) of BATHTUB ARMADA challenged FOUNTAINS OF
WAYNE (98-809) (19-15-4,102) of COLLEGE RADIO. Down 1. RAISON D'ETRE vanquished
FOUNTAINS OF WAYNE in a 1 minute uneven Challenge duel. The bathtub is mightier than
the fountain, is it? This being the bathtub with the formidable foes in it, I
presume.
JOE KING (47-2223) (29-51-1,142) of ROYAL FLUSH challenged BRICK (20-389) (37-
34-0,161) of THE BLUES. Up 19. Brick the Most Challenged. JOE KING overpowered
BRICK in a popular 2 minute gruesome mismatched Challenge brawl. If brick is over-
powered, do we end up with brick dust? Not that I ever saw a blue brick before, but
new experiences can be, um, interesting, not to say educational.
MICHAEL J'EH FOX (60-5263) (22-11-2,149) of INGRATE WHITE NORTH challenged SIR
VILE (10-4754) (27-27-1,115) of SIR AGLIO. Down 34. MICHAEL J'EH FOX was devastated
by SIR VILE in a 1 minute uneven Challenge brawl. What a vile thing to do, and I
won't tell you who looked vile, either, the varlet or the soft, furry little fox.
Figure it out for yourself.
ROWDY YOBBO (20-3429) (23-21-1,116) of SPARF! challenged W.T. POOH (33-4430)
(66-51-0,152) of SNOTZI'S II. Up a long way, hmm, 36 seems like a good number.
ROWDY YOBBO was defeated by W.T. POOH in an exciting 4 minute Challenge fight. W.T.
may, I say MAY be a bear of little brain, but he's got lots of brawn and is nobody's
pussycat.
PERFECT TEN (47-4218) (28-21-1,170) of ROYAL FLUSH challenged TICKLES (9-3486)
(46-64-1,201) of MY PETS. Up 31. PERFECT TEN was demolished by TICKLES in a 1
minute uneven Challenge fight. I've known lots of things that can't stand tickling.
Interesting to learn that perfect-tion is one of them. Maybe that explains the
imperfections of this world.
APPLE JACK (47-4011) (30-23-4,180) of ROYAL FLUSH challenged DELICE THE RED (56-
3401) (49-54-1,159) of BAD APPLES. Down 21. APPLE JACK was slaughtered by DELICE
THE RED in a 1 minute uneven Challenge battle. And if that's not a warning against
down-challenging a bad apple, I don't know what is.
STEVE MCQUEEN (47-3908) (36-34-1,200) of ROYAL FLUSH challenged 50 SUCKS (60-
4129) (67-36-1,205) of JOKA MASHER! Up 5. STEVE MCQUEEN was devastated by 50 SUCKS
in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight. You think 50's bad, wait till he hits 60!
And for the title, a random match, which tells you something dire about this
arena: JAKUCHU ITO (7-5102) (29-14-0,237) of NINJAS fought TIME SQUARE (65-4637)
(29-12-0,194) of BIG APPLE MENACE. JAKUCHU ITO was vanquished by TIME SQUARE in a 1
minute mismatched Title bout. Is someone trying to tell us something about apples?
Whatever, this Square guy is now the big cheese here, and I expect him to be roundly
(and squarely or even triangularly if that's what you like) challenged next time!
And write a column, Time Square.
Ogre Modeen
CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
TIME SQUARE 65-4637 30 12 0 216 BIG APPLE MENACE (836) DAL SHANG
GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
TUM 18-7380 27 16 2 222 FROM THE FACE (1265) TALCAMA
50 SUCKS 60-4129 68 36 1 216 JOKA MASHER! (833) ARADI
GRAND CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
DELICE THE RED 56-3401 50 54 2 210 BAD APPLES (1091) ROCANIS
TICKLES 9-3486 47 64 1 208 MY PETS (554) ZUKAL
EMILY 17-5753 30 18 0 204 BLADES OF STEEL (1068) ALJAFIR
STEVE MCQUEEN 47-3908 36 35 1 198 ROYAL FLUSH (146) NORTH FORK
DIRT WORM 82-2315 66 34 0 193 VERMIN!! (1124) DWES EG
JAKUCHU ITO 7-5102 29 15 0 192 NINJAS (1060) BONSUR
AERYN SUN 10-4268 24 10 0 190 FARSCAPE (1277) KOLACT
MASHER 60-4553 46 42 3 188 JOKA MASHER! (833) ARADI
GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
BUDDERCUP 60-5967 36 31 0 177 BUMS 'R' US (1142) ARADI
IPECAC 45-3625 25 15 0 171 EMETICS (1242) STORMCROWE
SPAZZ 33-6207 43 39 0 170 SNOTZI'S II (813) NIYTYOLE ISLAND
PERFECT TEN 47-4218 28 22 1 168 ROYAL FLUSH (146) NORTH FORK
JOE KING 47-2223 30 51 1 167 ROYAL FLUSH (146) NORTH FORK
POPE PAUL II 79-1317 23 13 0 167 CHAPEL ROCK (776) MIROI CHANG
MOD COD 55-2638 53 79 1 165 RHYME TYME (449) KHALANI
KAIDEN 35-3108 86 83 2 163 VIOLENT FEMS (972) MURSKA
APPLE JACK 47-4011 30 24 4 159 ROYAL FLUSH (146) NORTH FORK
DITCH RAT 82-15360 25 24 3 159 VERMIN! (1267) DWES EG
TUTANKHAMUN 71-3357 29 18 0 158 CARTOUCHE (1111) KYR'TERR
NED THE JANITOR 66-2973 24 22 0 157 ANDORIAN UNIVERSITY (1123) TARRGIR
W.T. POOH 33-4430 67 51 0 154 SNOTZI'S II (813) NIYTYOLE ISLAND
GRAND ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
SIR VILE 10-4754 28 27 1 149 SIR AGLIO (788) KOLACT
UZI 44-1701 27 26 1 149 BLOWN AWAY (820) KRILL
HALLIE O'DENE 58-6018 50 67 0 147 CIRQUE DU MASQUES (1093) DELARQ TOR
-BLACK HOLE SCRAG 43-3220 29 20 1 144 GUARDIANS (1287) VEASTIAN
BRICK 20-389 37 35 0 141 THE BLUES (1286) SEAM
ROT TEN EGGS 47-3099 36 35 0 135 ROYAL FLUSH (146) NORTH FORK
BEER GOGGLES 33-6819 29 29 1 133 JOYS OF BOOZE (1209) NIYTYOLE ISLAND
NUTMEG 7-5167 22 15 1 133 SUGAR AND SPICE (1231) BONSUR
EXILE 7-4618 25 19 1 130 BLADES OF ICE (162) BONSUR
ROWDY YOBBO 20-3429 23 22 1 127 SPARF! (1069) SEAM
KIDNEY 96-972 15 9 3 123 ORGAN ON THE SANDS (1272) OLD VALAMANTIS
AEDON 7-4295 37 20 1 122 BLADES OF ICE (162) BONSUR
MICHAEL J'EH FOX 60-5263 22 12 2 122 INGRATE WHITE NORTH (1006) ARADI
-YELLOWBEARD 18-2149 27 14 0 119 SEA DOGS (426) TALCAMA
KONGOL 7-4524 33 20 2 116 BLADES OF ICE (162) BONSUR
SPUTTER 82-15095 30 18 1 115 JOKA MASHER (917) DWES EG
RAISON D'ETRE 7-5311 21 16 3 115 BATHTUB ARMADA (1196) BONSUR
ISHINOMORI 7-5390 28 8 1 114 NINJAS (1060) BONSUR
OSCAR 50-3153 29 8 0 107 OPEN SESAME (824) SNOWBOUND
FEAR 82-10416 21 29 1 104 4-LETTER ANXIETY (1271) DWES EG
-THE WALL 21-2660 24 15 1 101 THE GUARDIANS (939) SUNSET
PRIZMATYK WAHL 73-4252 18 8 2 101 MAGIC MAYHEM (1298) ERINIKA
GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
CLOUDS AWAY 50-3332 18 6 2 97 OPEN SESAME (824) SNOWBOUND
KOOKABURRA 33-4151 49 70 2 95 GIRL SCOUT COOKIES (812) NIYTYOLE ISLAND
FOUNTAINS OF WAYNE 98-809 19 16 4 93 COLLEGE RADIO (1223) SYVYN'S HILL
GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
BECKY 17-5782 14 2 2 92 BLADES OF STEEL (1068) ALJAFIR
QUIBBLE 10-4756 24 46 0 91 QUBIT (1136) KOLACT
GRAND INITIATES W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
MAN O' WAR 15-4517 22 10 1 82 TRIPLE CROWN (990) MALCORN
-RIFT 12-3922 22 13 1 80 SPIRITUAL GIFT (791) RIZTAB
PINK BEAR 36-5883 23 11 1 79 LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... (1304 JHANS
-HEART 97-1096 8 15 4 79 ORGANS ON THE SAND (1273) SHADOW GROVE
PUTZ'N ALONG 60-5437 33 31 0 77 JOKA MASHER! (833) ARADI
QUONSET 10-4990 27 21 0 77 QUBIT (1136) KOLACT
HOCKEY DUCK 39-937 25 17 1 77 DUCKS UNLIMITED (1221) XOCHITHLAN
-MISS STEP 8-3978 19 16 0 73 LADIES IN WAITING (595) ARKERS
SKI MASK 58-5869 37 61 0 70 CIRQUE DU MASQUES (1093) DELARQ TOR
MORADOR 2-5089 27 10 1 70 RESURRECTION (1065) NIANIA
-MISS CON DUCK 39-2344 17 17 2 70 DUCKS UNLIMITED (1221) XOCHITHLAN
MARY RETZLAFF 3-6119 20 30 1 67 AMERICAN APPRAISAL (1268) OSKSI
SATOSHI KUNO 7-5229 22 19 0 66 NINJAS (1060) BONSUR
IMMOVEABLE OBJECT 59-2110 20 6 1 64 NOT QUITE (1237) ILLIS
BLACK EYE 60-6163 18 11 0 64 JOKA MASHER! (833) ARADI
ELENA 63-2356 15 4 0 63 SITTIN' ON ACES (1302) AMEN-TEI
BLACK JACK SHELACK 47-4850 17 13 1 62 ROYAL FLUSH (146) NORTH FORK
CARRIE NATION 64-4054 42 77 0 58 REFORMERS (1095) KURUKAR
R IS FOR REPUGNANT 99-1155 8 3 4 54 GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME (1306) SOUTH RIDGE
CREDIT LINE 82-1366 0 14 0 51 WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY (1274 DWES EG
GAR & BRILL 38-4252 24 35 0 44 JUST BECAUSE (1228) CLIFFHOME
NUTCRACKER 38-4380 18 7 1 41 ALL FINESSE (1236) CLIFFHOME
2 PHAT 72-5064 18 5 1 36 VERMIN (771) DRAGONHEAD
-PLACES THE LOTION.. 98-909 7 3 5 29 ARCANE BEACH DAY (1305) SYVYN'S HILL
'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.
THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN
APPLE JACK 47-4011 30 24 4 ROYAL FLUSH 146 DELICE THE RED 56-3401 381
PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE
Black Jack Shelack -- Fowl Duck hunter! Do you think I can't see your true nature?
We have an instinct for this kind of thing, you know. That's why people hunting
ducks have to hide and resort to fowl tricks! We aren't like your stupid buffalo
that just stand around and wait to be driven off a cliff, oh no! Try driving a DUCK
off a cliff, and you'll get a rude shock! Let this be a lesson to you, and avoid
antagonizing Ducks in the future. -- Ski Mask, Founder and President of Ducks With
Swords
Aeryn Sun -- If my manager would actually MANAGE me, you wouldn't have found that so
easy. -- Delice the Red
P.S. (grudgingly) Good fight, as fights go.
Ninja Ferd -- Ouch! I hate fighting people armed with malls. There's always so much
to buy that I don't really need-- Oh, wait, I mean armed with MAULS. At least you
aren't carrying a spare, as some Dark Arena warriors do. Oh, damn, you ARE carrying
a spare. Well, at least you don't have a maul in each han-- Shi--er, shoot! A maul
and a large shield, and a backup maul? I can hardly believe this! No wonder I lost
the fight. -- Hallie O'Dene
Quonset -- It's no good you standing there going, "Hut! Hut!" and grinning like an
idiot. *I* know you've been drinking. -- Carrie Nation
17 July 2004
I am currently trying to put together a favorites chart for AD warriors. I
desperately need help with this. What I need are style, favorite rhythm (ex.:
hi/low), favorite weapons, and tactics. What would be great is if you could send me
a copy of the invite with the warrior's name, id#, and arena blacked out. This way,
I can verify that this is an actual warrior. Minis will work, too!
For those interested, I have both a challenge style vs. style and a match-up style
vs. style chart. There's about 250 fights calculated in these charts, and I'll be
happy to send a copy to anyone who asks. You can contact me (if you're a free world
player) at: Rick Stringer, Merit/East, SCI, P.O. Box 500, Georgetown, DE 19947-0500.
If you're in prison, just send a diplo to: Baphomet, Mgr. Knights Templar (568), DM
#47--North Fork. (I also have a lot of other charts and info for anyone who wants
it.) Thanks!
LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS
STEVE MCQUEEN was devastated by 50 SUCKS in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
APPLE JACK was slaughtered by DELICE THE RED in a 1 minute uneven Challenge battle.
PERFECT TEN was demolished by TICKLES in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
ROWDY YOBBO was defeated by W.T. POOH in a exciting 4 minute Challenge fight.
MICHAEL J'EH FOX was devastated by SIR VILE in a 1 minute uneven Challenge brawl.
JOE KING overpowered BRICK in a popular 2 minute gruesome mismatched Challenge brawl.
RAISON D'ETRE vanquished FOUNTAINS OF WAYNE in a 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
OSCAR was viciously subdued by NUTMEG in a action packed 3 minute Challenge fight.
IMMOVEABLE OBJECT was overpowered by KOOKABURRA in a 1 minute Challenge fight.
BLACK JACK SHELACK was overpowered by FEAR in a 3 minute one-sided Challenge match.
HOCKEY DUCK slimly won victory over SKI MASK in a exciting 3 minute Challenge contest.
NUTCRACKER was demolished by PINK BEAR in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge brawl.
CLOUDS AWAY handily defeated MORADOR in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge conflict.
JAKUCHU ITO was vanquished by TIME SQUARE in a 1 minute mismatched Title bout.
TUM overcame MASHER in a crowd pleasing 1 minute bout.
BUDDERCUP was devastated by EMILY in a exciting 2 minute brutal one-sided brawl.
DIRT WORM was beaten by ARENAMASTER AZEEM in a exciting 3 minute bout.
MOD COD overpowered KIDNEY in a 1 minute mismatched conflict.
AERYN SUN devastated SPAZZ in a action packed 1 minute brutal one-sided bout.
DITCH RAT was narrowly defeated by POPE PAUL II in a action packed 3 minute fray.
IPECAC devastated UZI in a popular 1 minute gory one-sided bout.
KAIDEN vanquished BEER GOGGLES in a action packed 1 minute one-sided match.
HALLIE O'DENE defeated ROT TEN EGGS in a 3 minute brutal bout.
NED THE JANITOR vanquished AEDON in a action packed 2 minute gory uneven bout.
TUTANKHAMUN handily defeated IRON-PLATED IRV in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
SPUTTER was narrowly defeated by EXILE in a action packed 3 minute gruesome fight.
KONGOL was savagely defeated by MARY ANN in a 2 minute brutal match.
ISHINOMORI overpowered BECKY in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
PRIZMATYK WAHL beat QUONSET in a action packed 1 minute bout.
R IS FOR REPUGNANT luckily beat GAR & BRILL in a 2 minute gory uneven contest.
CREDIT LINE was bested by BLACK EYE in a exciting 1 minute battle.
2 PHAT was devastated by ELENA in a popular 1 minute uneven bout.
CARRIE NATION was demolished by MAN O' WAR in a 1 minute mismatched match.
PUTZ'N ALONG luckily beat MARY RETZLAFF in a popular 7 minute duel.
QUIBBLE savagely defeated SATOSHI KUNO in a popular 4 minute bloody duel.
BATTLE REPORT
MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS
|FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK 19 PARRY-LUNGE 13 - 4 - 0 76 |
|AIMED BLOW 11 SLASHING ATTACK 30 - 13 - 1 70 |
|WALL OF STEEL 9 LUNGING ATTACK 85 - 67 - 0 56 |
|STRIKING ATTACK 9 TOTAL PARRY 28 - 25 - 0 53 |
|BASHING ATTACK 8 PARRY-RIPOSTE 1 - 1 - 0 50 |
|TOTAL PARRY 6 STRIKING ATTACK 39 - 49 - 1 44 |
|SLASHING ATTACK 3 WALL OF STEEL 38 - 48 - 2 44 |
|PARRY-LUNGE 1 BASHING ATTACK 36 - 46 - 0 44 |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE 1 AIMED BLOW 27 - 36 - 0 43 |
|PARRY-STRIKE 1 PARRY-STRIKE 7 - 11 - 0 39 |
Turn 381 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are:
PARRY-LUNGE 1 - 0 AIMED BLOW 4 - 7 3 LUNGING ATTACK
PARRY-RIPOSTE 1 - 0 SLASHING ATTACK 1 - 2 2 BASHING ATTACK
LUNGING ATTACK 13 - 6 STRIKING ATTACK 2 - 7 2 AIMED BLOW
WALL OF STEEL 5 - 4 PARRY-STRIKE 0 - 1 1 WALL OF STEEL
BASHING ATTACK 4 - 4 1 STRIKING ATTACK
TOTAL PARRY 3 - 3 1 TOTAL PARRY
1 PARRY-LUNGE
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE
FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME
LUNGING ATTACK TIME SQUARE 65-4637 30 12 0 216 BIG APPLE MENACE (836)
WALL OF STEEL 50 SUCKS 60-4129 68 36 1 216 JOKA MASHER! (833)
STRIKING ATTACK DELICE THE RED 56-3401 50 54 2 210 BAD APPLES (1091)
BASHING ATTACK TICKLES 9-3486 47 64 1 208 MY PETS (554)
AIMED BLOW EMILY 17-5753 30 18 0 204 BLADES OF STEEL (1068)
TOTAL PARRY DIRT WORM 82-2315 66 34 0 193 VERMIN!! (1124)
PARRY-LUNGE AERYN SUN 10-4268 24 10 0 190 FARSCAPE (1277)
PARRY-STRIKE ROT TEN EGGS 47-3099 36 35 0 135 ROYAL FLUSH (146)
SLASHING ATTACK MICHAEL J'EH FOX 60-5263 22 12 2 122 INGRATE WHITE NORTH (1006)
PARRY-RIPOSTE HOCKEY DUCK 39-937 25 17 1 77 DUCKS UNLIMITED (1221)
The overall popularity leader is KAIDEN 35-3108. The most popular warrior this turn
was MARY RETZLAFF 3-6119. The ten other most popular fighters were NUTMEG 7-5167,
DITCH RAT 82-15360, SKI MASK 58-5869, EXILE 7-4618, SATOSHI KUNO 7-5229, SPUTTER
82-15095, EMILY 17-5753, NED THE JANITOR 66-2973, QUIBBLE 10-4756, and ROWDY YOBBO
20-3429.
The least popular fighter this week was CARRIE NATION 64-4054. The other ten least
popular fighters were UZI 44-1701, KIDNEY 96-972, MORADOR 2-5089, NUTCRACKER 38-4380,
FOUNTAINS OF WAYNE 98-809, APPLE JACK 47-4011, 2 PHAT 72-5064, QUONSET 10-4990, BECKY
17-5782, and AEDON 7-4295.
Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K
NIANIA(2) 0 1 0 CLIFFHOME(38) 0 2 0 KURUKAR(64) 0 1 0
OSKSI(3) 0 1 0 XOCHITHLAN(39) 1 0 0 DAL SHANG(65) 1 0 0
BONSUR(7) 4 4 0 KRILL(44) 0 1 0 TARRGIR(66) 1 0 0
ZUKAL(9) 1 0 0 STORMCROWE(45) 1 0 0 KYR'TERR(71) 1 0 0
KOLACT(10) 3 1 0 NORTH FORK(47) 2 5 0 DRAGONHEAD(72) 0 1 0
MALCORN(15) 1 0 0 SNOWBOUND(50) 1 1 0 ERINIKA(73) 1 0 0
ALJAFIR(17) 1 1 0 KHALANI(55) 1 0 0 MIROI CHANG(79) 1 0 0
TALCAMA(18) 1 0 0 ROCANIS(56) 1 0 1 DWES EG(82) 1 4 0
SEAM(20) 0 2 0 DELARQ TOR(58) 1 1 0 OLD VALAMANTIS(96) 0 1 0
NIYTYOLE ISLAND(33) 2 2 0 ILLIS(59) 0 1 0 SYVYN'S HILL(98) 0 1 0
MURSKA(35) 1 0 0 ARADI(60) 3 3 0 SOUTH RIDGE(99) 1 0 0
JHANS(36) 1 0 0 AMEN-TEI(63) 1 0 0
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
MORADOR 2-5089 27 10 1 70 RESURRECTION (1065) NIANIA
MARY RETZLAFF 3-6119 20 30 1 67 AMERICAN APPRAISAL (1268) OSKSI
JAKUCHU ITO 7-5102 29 15 0 192 NINJAS (1060) BONSUR
TICKLES 9-3486 47 64 1 208 MY PETS (554) ZUKAL
AERYN SUN 10-4268 24 10 0 190 FARSCAPE (1277) KOLACT
MAN O' WAR 15-4517 22 10 1 82 TRIPLE CROWN (990) MALCORN
EMILY 17-5753 30 18 0 204 BLADES OF STEEL (1068) ALJAFIR
TUM 18-7380 27 16 2 222 FROM THE FACE (1265) TALCAMA
BRICK 20-389 37 35 0 141 THE BLUES (1286) SEAM
SPAZZ 33-6207 43 39 0 170 SNOTZI'S II (813) NIYTYOLE ISLAND
KAIDEN 35-3108 86 83 2 163 VIOLENT FEMS (972) MURSKA
PINK BEAR 36-5883 23 11 1 79 LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... (1304 JHANS
GAR & BRILL 38-4252 24 35 0 44 JUST BECAUSE (1228) CLIFFHOME
HOCKEY DUCK 39-937 25 17 1 77 DUCKS UNLIMITED (1221) XOCHITHLAN
UZI 44-1701 27 26 1 149 BLOWN AWAY (820) KRILL
IPECAC 45-3625 25 15 0 171 EMETICS (1242) STORMCROWE
STEVE MCQUEEN 47-3908 36 35 1 198 ROYAL FLUSH (146) NORTH FORK
OSCAR 50-3153 29 8 0 107 OPEN SESAME (824) SNOWBOUND
MOD COD 55-2638 53 79 1 165 RHYME TYME (449) KHALANI
DELICE THE RED 56-3401 50 54 2 210 BAD APPLES (1091) ROCANIS
HALLIE O'DENE 58-6018 50 67 0 147 CIRQUE DU MASQUES (1093) DELARQ TOR
IMMOVEABLE OBJECT 59-2110 20 6 1 64 NOT QUITE (1237) ILLIS
50 SUCKS 60-4129 68 36 1 216 JOKA MASHER! (833) ARADI
ELENA 63-2356 15 4 0 63 SITTIN' ON ACES (1302) AMEN-TEI
CARRIE NATION 64-4054 42 77 0 58 REFORMERS (1095) KURUKAR
TIME SQUARE 65-4637 30 12 0 216 BIG APPLE MENACE (836) DAL SHANG
NED THE JANITOR 66-2973 24 22 0 157 ANDORIAN UNIVERSITY (1123) TARRGIR
TUTANKHAMUN 71-3357 29 18 0 158 CARTOUCHE (1111) KYR'TERR
2 PHAT 72-5064 18 5 1 36 VERMIN (771) DRAGONHEAD
PRIZMATYK WAHL 73-4252 18 8 2 101 MAGIC MAYHEM (1298) ERINIKA
POPE PAUL II 79-1317 23 13 0 167 CHAPEL ROCK (776) MIROI CHANG
DIRT WORM 82-2315 66 34 0 193 VERMIN!! (1124) DWES EG
KIDNEY 96-972 15 9 3 123 ORGAN ON THE SANDS (1272) OLD VALAMANTIS
FOUNTAINS OF WAYNE 98-809 19 16 4 93 COLLEGE RADIO (1223) SYVYN'S HILL
R IS FOR REPUGNANT 99-1155 8 3 4 54 GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME (1306) SOUTH RIDGE