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Date   : 10/20/2004    Duedate: 11/02/2004

HOME GUARD

DM-101    TURN-387

RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %  RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %
  1 COLLEGE RADI 98/1223  141   74  0 65.6   11 BLOWN AWAY 44/820     708  676 10 51.2
    BIG APPLE MENACE 65/836                     HERE TO PHOENIX 26/1072               
  2 BLADES OF ICE 7/162   350  264  7 57.0      ROYAL FLUSH 47/146                    
    BLADES OF STEEL 17/1068                     INGRATE WHITE NORTH 60/1006           
  3 CARTOUCHE 71/1111     519  413  4 55.7   12 ALL FINESSE 38/1236    64   62  0 50.8
  4 DU BASHERS 38/657      20   16  0 55.6      SUGAR AND SPICE 7/1231                
  5 QUBIT 10/1136         829  692  7 54.5      BATHTUB ARMADA 7/1196                 
    VERMIN!! 82/1124                         13 THE GREENHOU 30/1219   81   79  0 50.6
    TRIPLE CROWN 15/990                         SITTIN' ON ACES 63/1302               
    SIR AGLIO 10/788                            GERFEL'S FRIENDS 11/516               
    JOKA MASHER! 60/833                         ANDORIAN UNIVERSITY 66/1123           
    SNOTZI'S II 33/813                       14 MAGIC MAYHEM 73/1298   26   26  1 50.0
    VERMIN! 82/1267                             SCREEN DREAMS 47/1299                 
    JOKA MASHER 82/917                       15 EMETICS 45/1242        60   65  0 48.0
    VERMIN 72/771                               BUMS 'R' US 60/1142                   
  6 FARSCAPE 10/1277       19   16  0 54.3      JOYS OF BOOZE 33/1209                 
    THE BLUES 20/1286                        16 SAUSAGE DOGS 42/1016   45   60  0 42.9
  7 4-LETTER ANX 82/1271  261  231  1 53.0      RESSURRECTION 82/1309                 
    GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME 99/1306                  THAI INQUISITION 71/1292              
    ORGAN ON THE SANDS 96/1272               17 VIOLENT FEMS 35/972   394  531  9 42.6
    ORGANS ON THE SAND 97/1273                  JUST BECAUSE 38/1228                  
    WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY 82/1274             18 MY PETS 9/554         471  736 12 39.0
  8-LOST SOULS 40/486      36   32  0 52.9      RHYME TYME 55/449                     
  9 NINJAS 7/1060         231  210  3 52.4      GIRL SCOUT COOKIES 33/812             
    LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... 36/1304             19 REFORMERS 64/1095     445  750  4 37.2
    FROM THE FACE 18/1265                       CIRQUE DU MASQUES 58/1093             
    RESURRECTION 2/1065                         BAD APPLES 56/1091                    
 10 TWISTED SESA 99/1307  103   97  1 51.5   20-WORLDWIDE PA 36/1263   17   30  1 36.2

    '##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id     '-'  Team did not fight this turn

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

     Keel Woodhaven left this place a mess!  Beer bottles everywhere, the heels of 
sausage-in-a-buns, the sticks from caramel apples, all that sort of thing.  A mess.  
Just what you'd expect, of course.  He's Shewish, you know.  They eat constantly, and 
pigs are tidier.  I suppose some of you have heard the rumor that he's tainted with 
chaos?  Not true.  He is drenched and saturated with chaos, which is quite another 
matter.  Why the Greywand keeps him around is beyond my comprehension.  Unless... 
well, there are rumors.  About the two of them.  One hears such peculiar stories....

     According to the heralds, or maybe they're junior stewards, Andorian University 
was most avoided, by Snotzi's II.  I'd avoid in the other direction, not that I would 
care to be too chummy with Andorians.  But... "Snotzii"?  The image is... 
distasteful.  Uncooth.
     Hallie O'Dene got the most challenges.  Of course, she IS Delarquan, and thus a 
much more beautiful and clever sort of woman.  But still, a woman.  Is this something 
you want to see in your arena?  Fighting is a man's job.  Besides, you give a woman a 
sword and teach her how to use, and who knows where she'll stop?  This is too 
dangerous.  It shouldn't be permitted.  Not that anyone's going to listen to ME.
     Thirty-six fights, fifteen challenge matches, of which four were TV challenges.  
Two standbys fought, if you can call it fighting.  These apprentice mimes are 
worthless.

     So.  The fights:
     PINK BEAR (36-5883) (27-12-1,81) of LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... fought SIR PENT (10-
5089) (19-14-1,71) of SIR AGLIO.  PINK BEAR was savagely defeated by SIR PENT in a 2 
minute brutal competition.  Who cares what little girls like?  They'll take what 
they're given and be damned polite about it.
     BLACK EYE (60-6163) (20-14-0,62) of JOKA MASHER! fought NUTCRACKER (38-4380) 
(18-11-1,32) of ALL FINESSE.  BLACK EYE overpowered NUTCRACKER in a 1 minute uneven 
bout.  Finesse?  Where's the finesse in a nutcracker, eh?  You can't tell me, can 
you?  Just a hammer and a rock.  Crude.
     CARRIE NATION (64-4054) (44-80-0,68) of REFORMERS fought QUIETUS (10-5165) (20-
9-1,71) of QUBIT.  CARRIE NATION was demolished by QUIETUS in an exciting 1 minute 
mismatched match.  Demolished, yes, but given her quietus, no.  Where is this Qubit's 
manhood?  Why is he wasting his time reading her silly pamphlets?  Liquor is GOOD for 
you.
     2 PHAT (72-5064) (21-7-1,86) of VERMIN fought SKI MASK (58-5869) (39-64-0,71) of 
CIRQUE DU MASQUES.  2 PHAT viciously subdued SKI MASK in an action packed 2 minute 
gory bout.  So, does this mean that we're looking a fat duck here?  Can a fat duck's 
liver be used like a fat goose's to make pattay?  Inquiring minds have crackers ready 
to test it.
     GUARDIAN (82-16527) (8-6-0,64) of RESSURRECTION fought KOOKABURRA (33-4151) (51-
73-2,79) of GIRL SCOUT COOKIES.  GUARDIAN slimly won victory over KOOKABURRA in a 2 
minute brutal battle.  Next time, Guardian, be sure to use a napkin.  They tell me 
you left crumbs everywhere.
     HEART (97-1096) (8-15-4,79) of ORGANS ON THE SAND fought GAR & BRILL (38-4252) 
(25-39-0,45) of JUST BECAUSE.  HEART was devastated by GAR & BRILL in a 1 minute one-
sided duel.  And no wonder to that.  They tell me that brilled sandwiches, not to 
mention the gar drinks, are not "heart-healthy."  As if "they" know anything.  Ha!
     R IS FOR REPUGNANT (99-1155) (10-5-4,84) of GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME fought LAKE 
SAILOR (101-2) (0-0-0,30) of Student Mimes.  R IS FOR REPUGNANT narrowly defeated 
LAKE SAILOR in an action packed 3 minute bout.  I've seen, ah, mimes pretend to fight 
better than this, but not, I will admit, STUDENT mimes.  But seriously, how could 
this R have only managed a "narrow" defeat?  It was scarcely more than an inch wide, 
an inch and a quarter at the most.
     PIYA (71-5625) (8-2-0,91) of THAI INQUISITION fought MORADOR (2-5089) (30-12-
1,69) of RESURRECTION.  PIYA was demolished by MORADOR in an exciting 1 minute one-
sided fight.  I didn't see where the excitment was.  Did you find this fight 
exciting?  Really, they have to last at least forty seconds to generate excitement.  
Well... except, perhaps, for the costume Piya was wearing....  THAT was exciting 
enough, in all truth.
     SATOSHI KUNO (7-5229) (25-21-0,131) of NINJAS fought KONGOL (7-4524) (34-23-
2,106) of BLADES OF ICE.  SATOSHI KUNO handily defeated KONGOL in a 2 minute one-
sided fight.  Melted him, her, or it, no doubt.  If I've told Andarus once, I've told 
him five or six times that ice is not a suitable material for sword blades.  But 
these managers never listen.
     DITCH RAT (82-15360) (26-28-3,127) of VERMIN! fought KIDNEY (96-972) (15-14-
3,113) of ORGAN ON THE SANDS.  DITCH RAT defeated KIDNEY in an action packed 1 minute 
fight.  The arenamaster could barely prevent the Rat from eating the Kidney, which 
would have been an excessive response, I feel.
     FEAR (82-10416) (22-33-1,103) of 4-LETTER ANXIETY fought SPUTTER (82-15095) (33-
20-1,137) of JOKA MASHER.  FEAR was overpowered by SPUTTER in an exciting 1 minute 
uneven competition.  It is, of course, always desirable to see fear go down to 
defeat.  But... "sputter"?  It sounds like a speach impediment.
     CADDY JACKKNIFE (11-4288) (23-9-0,138) of GERFEL'S FRIENDS fought QUONSET (10-
4990) (31-22-0,129) of QUBIT.  CADDY JACKKNIFE was viciously subdued by QUONSET in a 
popular 2 minute gruesome fray.  A jackknife?  No wonder this Caddy fellow lost.  You 
need something bigger, something with authority, in the arena.  Besides, he's 
Andorian.
     MARY ANN (47-4378) (16-24-0,120) of SCREEN DREAMS fought AEDON (7-4295) (38-23-
1,110) of BLADES OF ICE.  MARY ANN was luckily beaten by AEDON in an action packed 3 
minute brutal match.  Ah, luck.  Wonderful stuff.  But I really don't see why a good 
Delarquan would need LUCK to beat a wench from North Fork.  At least, not if he used 
a STEEL blade instead of one made of ice.
     SPAZZ (33-6207) (46-41-0,162) of SNOTZI'S II fought THATDOGWILLBITEU (42-1981) 
(23-28-1,132) of SAUSAGE DOGS.  SPAZZ overpowered THATDOGWILLBITEU in a popular 1 
minute uneven fight.  As a result of which, Thatdog bit the Infirmarian.  Expect to 
receive the bill on that, Lhi.  The Infirmarian is seriously annoyed.
     EMILY (17-5753) (32-20-0,178) of BLADES OF STEEL fought BEER GOGGLES (33-6819) 
(30-33-1,132) of JOYS OF BOOZE.  EMILY demolished BEER GOGGLES in an action packed 1 
minute one-sided fight.  After all, Emily has cooth, and beer goggles are not at all 
cooth.  To demolish them would be a sacred duty.
     MASHER (60-4553) (48-45-3,167) of JOKA MASHER! fought KAIDEN (35-3108) (88-86-
2,146) of VIOLENT FEMS.  MASHER won victory over KAIDEN in a crowd pleasing 1 minute 
gory fray.  They tell me this was classic, that this is what mashers "do."  I thought 
they did potatoes, myself.
     FOUNTAINS OF WAYNE (98-809) (23-17-4,207) of COLLEGE RADIO fought OSWALD ORC 
(101-24) (0-0-0,181) of Student Mimes.  FOUNTAINS OF WAYNE vanquished OSWALD ORC in 
an action packed 1 minute one-sided match.  And so I should hope!  Can't let these 
Orcs get the upper hand.  When they have the upper hand, you can be sure there'll be 
a dagger in it, after all.
     SIR VILE (10-4754) (31-29-1,191) of SIR AGLIO fought BECKY (17-5782) (18-2-
3,168) of BLADES OF STEEL.  SIR VILE devastated BECKY in a popular 1 minute one-sided 
contest.  And a vile performance it was, too.  Not that anyone was surprised, the 
Vile family and their habits are well known.
     TUTANKHAMUN (71-3357) (31-21-0,182) of CARTOUCHE fought JAKUCHU ITO (7-5102) 
(33-16-0,195) of NINJAS.  TUTANKHAMUN was executed by JAKUCHU ITO in a 1 minute 
mismatched fight.  Not that this really mattered, since I have it on good authority 
that Tutankhamen was already dead and buried.
     TUM (18-7380) (31-17-2,210) of FROM THE FACE fought MOD COD (55-2638) (56-81-
2,206) of RHYME TYME.  TUM demolished MOD COD in a 1 minute one-sided bout.  Truly, a 
thought to roil the stoutest digestion.  Most people would not attempt to eat so much 
cod at one sitting.
     50 SUCKS (60-4129) (72-37-2,266) of JOKA MASHER! fought IPECAC (45-3625) (29-16-
0,195) of EMETICS.  50 SUCKS unbelievably bested IPECAC in a popular 3 minute brutal 
brawl.  With age comes a strong stomach.  Don't knock it, age has to be good for 
something.

     And the challenge matches:
     VALLISNERIA (30-3226) (15-9-1,47) of THE GREENHOUSE challenged QUIBBLE (10-4756) 
(26-49-0,48) of QUBIT.  Up 1.  VALLISNERIA handily defeated QUIBBLE in a 1 minute 
mismatched Challenge bout.  Anybody can defeat a quibble, if they know how to debate.
     MELANCHOLY (7-5319) (17-8-1,80) of BATHTUB ARMADA challenged PRIZMATYK WAHL (73-
4252) (20-11-2,89) of MAGIC MAYHEM.  Up 9.  MELANCHOLY was overpowered by PRIZMATYK 
WAHL in a 2 minute one-sided Challenge duel.  Dazzled, most likely.  That kind of 
thing shouldn't be allowed in the arena.
     RUTHLESS (15-4591) (18-6-0,97) of TRIPLE CROWN challenged CREDIT LINE (82-1366) 
(2-17-0,100) of WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY.  Up 3.  RUTHLESS beat CREDIT LINE in a crowd 
pleasing 1 minute Challenge conflict.  The horse knows his business, but do we want 
horses learning to fight?  What happens next time you're out for a ride and the horse 
wants to stop when you want to go?
     W.T. POOH (33-4430) (69-54-0,140) of SNOTZI'S II challenged BRICK (20-389) (39-
38-0,130) of THE BLUES.  Down 10.  W.T. POOH savagely defeated BRICK in a 16 minute 
bloody Challenge match.  This was the longest fight.  Brick dust everywhere.
     ELENA (63-2356) (19-5-0,123) of SITTIN' ON ACES challenged HALLIE O'DENE (58-
6018) (52-70-0,151) of CIRQUE DU MASQUES.  Up 28.  ELENA was subdued by HALLIE O'DENE 
in a crowd pleasing 2 minute Challenge competition.  Ah, most-challenged Hallie.  
Well, if two women have to fight, at least the Delarquan won.  People tell me I'm 
biased toward Delarquans.  So?  I AM a Delarquan.  If you don't like it, we'll get 
Miss Emma Le Poste, the Fratsfan, to do the next spy report.
     MICHAEL J'EH FOX (60-5263) (25-12-2,168) of INGRATE WHITE NORTH challenged EXILE 
(7-4618) (27-21-1,169) of BLADES OF ICE.  Up 1.  MICHAEL J'EH FOX overpowered EXILE 
in a popular 1 minute one-sided Challenge melee.  It's the damned blades of ice.  I 
TOLD them to get steel.  But they don't listen.
     NED THE JANITOR (66-2973) (25-25-0,157) of ANDORIAN UNIVERSITY challenged 
BUDDERCUP (60-5967) (38-34-0,182) of BUMS 'R' US.  Up 25.  NED THE JANITOR was 
viciously subdued by BUDDERCUP in a 4 minute Challenge duel.  Unfortunately, the 
arena maintenance crew seems to have adopted Ned as their standard bearer, or some 
such, and they are now rather... annoyed with Buddercup.
     RAISON D'ETRE (7-5311) (24-17-3,154) of BATHTUB ARMADA challenged ISHINOMORI (7-
5390) (31-10-1,148) of NINJAS.  Down 6.  RAISON D'ETRE won victory over ISHINOMORI in 
a popular 1 minute Challenge duel.  Home town match, I see.  Nothing like a little 
festering hostility.
     SIR NASTY ONE (38-2787) (25-35-1,173) of DU BASHERS challenged AERYN SUN (10-
4268) (27-12-0,206) of FARSCAPE.  Up 33.  SIR NASTY ONE was overpowered by AERYN SUN 
in a 1 minute uneven Challenge melee.  Nobody's ready for the sun at this time of 
year.  It gives Aeryn an edge.
     NUTMEG (7-5167) (26-15-1,178) of SUGAR AND SPICE challenged TICKLES (9-3486) 
(48-68-1,173) of MY PETS.  Down 5.  NUTMEG was devastated by TICKLES in a 1 minute 
mismatched Challenge match.  That looked more like snails and nails than the sweet 
stuff, but what the heck, eh?

     Four TV challenges, and I congratulate the holders of those same.  Good work.  
Do it again.
     EVIL ELMO (99-1222) (10-5-4,51) of TWISTED SESAME TV challenged PUTZ'N ALONG 
(60-5437) (37-32-0,78) of JOKA MASHER!  Up 27.  EVIL ELMO was defeated by PUTZ'N 
ALONG in an exciting 4 minute Challenge fight.  They tell me that evil never triumphs 
in the long run (thereby proving that they know little of the world), but in this 
particular match, it was so.
     TAOS (26-4042) (14-10-1,67) of HERE TO PHOENIX TV challenged MAN O' WAR (15-
4517) (23-14-1,57) of TRIPLE CROWN.  Down 10.  TAOS slimly won victory over MAN O' 
WAR in a crowd pleasing 2 minute Challenge brawl.  Sometimes the horse doesn't win.  
Good thing, too.  We've already got Ducks and Mice running around winning fights.
     UZI (44-1701) (29-27-1,169) of BLOWN AWAY TV challenged BIG COUNTRY (38-2765) 
(40-26-3,199) of DU BASHERS.  Up 30.  UZI vanquished BIG COUNTRY in an exciting 1 
minute gory uneven Challenge battle.  Big Country was, in fact, blown away.  It 
happens.
     STEVE MCQUEEN (47-3908) (36-38-1,190) of ROYAL FLUSH TV challenged DIRT WORM 
(82-2315) (69-36-0,208) of VERMIN!!  Up 18.  STEVE MCQUEEN devastated DIRT WORM in a 
2 minute mismatched Challenge fight.  Smashing the worm to the sands, yes, okay, 
that's the way fights go.  But you probably shouldn't have ground him under your 
heel, Steve.

     And for the Title:  TIME SQUARE (65-4637) (34-13-0,249) of BIG APPLE MENACE 
challenged DELICE THE RED (56-3401) (54-55-2,218) of BAD APPLES.  Down some, but it's 
for the title, which people tell me is a different matter.  TIME SQUARE devastated 
DELICE THE RED in a 1 minute uneven Challenge Title brawl.  And that's one sliced and 
diced Apple there.  Congratulations to Times Square.

                                       Ketchum

CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD          W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 TIME SQUARE 65-4637         35  13  0  260  BIG APPLE MENACE (836)     DAL SHANG

GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 50 SUCKS 60-4129            73  37  2  278  JOKA MASHER! (833)         ARADI
 JAKUCHU ITO 7-5102          34  16  1  243  NINJAS (1060)              BONSUR
 STEVE MCQUEEN 47-3908       37  38  1  223  ROYAL FLUSH (146)          NORTH FORK
 TUM 18-7380                 32  17  2  220  FROM THE FACE (1265)       TALCAMA
 FOUNTAINS OF WAYNE 98-809   24  17  4  213  COLLEGE RADIO (1223)       SYVYN'S HILL

GRAND CHAMPIONS               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 AERYN SUN 10-4268           28  12  0  210  FARSCAPE (1277)            KOLACT
 SIR VILE 10-4754            32  29  1  204  SIR AGLIO (788)            KOLACT
 IPECAC 45-3625              29  17  0  203  EMETICS (1242)             STORMCROWE
 UZI 44-1701                 30  27  1  202  BLOWN AWAY (820)           KRILL

GRAND CHAMPIONS               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 DELICE THE RED 56-3401      54  56  2  196  BAD APPLES (1091)          ROCANIS
 MOD COD 55-2638             56  82  2  194  RHYME TYME (449)           KHALANI
 TICKLES 9-3486              49  68  1  193  MY PETS (554)              ZUKAL
 DIRT WORM 82-2315           69  37  0  185  VERMIN!! (1124)            DWES EG
 BUDDERCUP 60-5967           39  34  0  184  BUMS 'R' US (1142)         ARADI
 MICHAEL J'EH FOX 60-5263    26  12  2  183  INGRATE WHITE NORTH (1006) ARADI

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 EMILY 17-5753               33  20  0  180  BLADES OF STEEL (1068)     ALJAFIR
 TUTANKHAMUN 71-3357         31  22  0  180  CARTOUCHE (1111)           KYR'TERR
 BIG COUNTRY 38-2765         40  27  3  175  DU BASHERS (657)           CLIFFHOME
 SIR NASTY ONE 38-2787       25  36  1  174  DU BASHERS (657)           CLIFFHOME
-VLAADE 36-5160              17  13  1  174  WORLDWIDE PANIC (1263)     JHANS
 MASHER 60-4553              49  45  3  169  JOKA MASHER! (833)         ARADI
 RAISON D'ETRE 7-5311        25  17  3  169  BATHTUB ARMADA (1196)      BONSUR
 SPAZZ 33-6207               47  41  0  165  SNOTZI'S II (813)          NIYTYOLE ISLAND
 NUTMEG 7-5167               26  16  1  165  SUGAR AND SPICE (1231)     BONSUR
 BECKY 17-5782               18   3  3  165  BLADES OF STEEL (1068)     ALJAFIR
 EXILE 7-4618                27  22  1  162  BLADES OF ICE (162)        BONSUR
 NED THE JANITOR 66-2973     25  26  0  162  ANDORIAN UNIVERSITY (1123) TARRGIR
 HALLIE O'DENE 58-6018       53  70  0  159  CIRQUE DU MASQUES (1093)   DELARQ TOR

GRAND ADEPTS                  W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 QUONSET 10-4990             32  22  0  149  QUBIT (1136)               KOLACT
 KAIDEN 35-3108              88  87  2  148  VIOLENT FEMS (972)         MURSKA
 ISHINOMORI 7-5390           31  11  1  148  NINJAS (1060)              BONSUR
 W.T. POOH 33-4430           70  54  0  144  SNOTZI'S II (813)          NIYTYOLE ISLAND
 SATOSHI KUNO 7-5229         26  21  0  142  NINJAS (1060)              BONSUR
 SPUTTER 82-15095            34  20  1  139  JOKA MASHER (917)          DWES EG
 BEER GOGGLES 33-6819        30  34  1  138  JOYS OF BOOZE (1209)       NIYTYOLE ISLAND
 BRICK 20-389                39  39  0  132  THE BLUES (1286)           SEAM
 THATDOGWILLBITEU 42-1981    23  29  1  132  SAUSAGE DOGS (1016)        RODEKI
 CADDY JACKKNIFE 11-4288     23  10  0  131  GERFEL'S FRIENDS (516)     ARUAK CITY
 DITCH RAT 82-15360          27  28  3  130  VERMIN! (1267)             DWES EG
 ELENA 63-2356               19   6  0  128  SITTIN' ON ACES (1302)     AMEN-TEI
 AEDON 7-4295                39  23  1  120  BLADES OF ICE (162)        BONSUR
 KIDNEY 96-972               15  15  3  112  ORGAN ON THE SANDS (1272)  OLD VALAMANTIS
 FEAR 82-10416               22  34  1  106  4-LETTER ANXIETY (1271)    DWES EG
 KONGOL 7-4524               34  24  2  104  BLADES OF ICE (162)        BONSUR
 RUTHLESS 15-4591            19   6  0  104  TRIPLE CROWN (990)         MALCORN

GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 PRIZMATYK WAHL 73-4252      21  11  2  100  MAGIC MAYHEM (1298)        ERINIKA
 CREDIT LINE 82-1366          2  18  0   96  WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY (1274 DWES EG
 MORADOR 2-5089              31  12  1   94  RESURRECTION (1065)        NIANIA

GRAND INITIATES               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 2 PHAT 72-5064              22   7  1   90  VERMIN (771)               DRAGONHEAD
 SIR PENT 10-5089            20  14  1   90  SIR AGLIO (788)            KOLACT
 R IS FOR REPUGNANT 99-1155  11   5  4   86  GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME (1306)  SOUTH RIDGE
 QUIETUS 10-5165             21   9  1   81  QUBIT (1136)               KOLACT
 PUTZ'N ALONG 60-5437        38  32  0   80  JOKA MASHER! (833)         ARADI
 GUARDIAN 82-16527            9   6  0   78  RESSURRECTION (1309)       DWES EG
 MELANCHOLY 7-5319           17   9  1   76  BATHTUB ARMADA (1196)      BONSUR
 TAOS 26-4042                15  10  1   75  HERE TO PHOENIX (1072)     CALEAM
 PIYA 71-5625                 8   3  0   75  THAI INQUISITION (1292)    KYR'TERR
 SKI MASK 58-5869            39  65  0   74  CIRQUE DU MASQUES (1093)   DELARQ TOR
 PINK BEAR 36-5883           27  13  1   73  LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... (1304 JHANS
 GAR & BRILL 38-4252         26  39  0   72  JUST BECAUSE (1228)        CLIFFHOME
 BLACK EYE 60-6163           21  14  0   69  JOKA MASHER! (833)         ARADI
 KOOKABURRA 33-4151          51  74  2   68  GIRL SCOUT COOKIES (812)   NIYTYOLE ISLAND
 CARRIE NATION 64-4054       44  81  0   62  REFORMERS (1095)           KURUKAR
-ARSENAL 7-4861              16  10  4   62  BLADES OF ICE (162)        BONSUR

GRAND INITIATES               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 MAN O' WAR 15-4517          23  15  1   59  TRIPLE CROWN (990)         MALCORN
 VALLISNERIA 30-3226         16   9  1   59  THE GREENHOUSE (1219)      IAYE
 EVIL ELMO 99-1222           10   6  4   56  TWISTED SESAME (1307)      SOUTH RIDGE
-SUMMERSUN 40-2672           21  18  2   55  LOST SOULS (486)           ZENSU
-DUCK TAPE 39-3283           13  11  2   52  DUCKS UNLIMITED (1221)     XOCHITHLAN
 HEART 97-1096                8  16  4   52  ORGANS ON THE SAND (1273)  SHADOW GROVE
 QUIBBLE 10-4756             26  50  0   39  QUBIT (1136)               KOLACT
 NUTCRACKER 38-4380          18  12  1   32  ALL FINESSE (1236)         CLIFFHOME

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                    W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY              TURN
TUTANKHAMUN 71-3357        31  22  0 CARTOUCHE 1111         JAKUCHU ITO 7-5102     387

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

My family and I are moving from Colorado to Northern Virginia.  I may miss a couple
of turns but I'll be back.  Also, as I'll be on the East Coast rather than the West
Coast I will attend the Summer FTF in 2005, I will NOT attend the Winter FTF in
Phoenix.  I hope to see some of you next year and meet those I've not seen in
Phoenix. -- Shocking Toad
P.S.  I vote for a Washington D.C. Summer FTF in 2005.

Carrie Nation -- Down, girl!  What gave you the idea I had a drinking problem?  I am
a lean, mean, dueling machine! -- Elena

Sir Nasty One -- Indeed, you are well named.  But we have long known what to think of
people who live in caves. -- Hallie O'Dene
P.S.  That you are an elf makes no difference, you remain a troglodyte.

Buddercup -- That must be almost as bad for a boy as being named Sue.  And since I
won, I am prepared to spare you a little sympathy.  Poor boy. -- Delice the Red

Prizmatyk Wahl -- Dazzling.  Just the sort of thing a mammal WOULD try to get out of
taking a well-deserved beating.  I suppose you even use it as a hunter's blind?  Yes,
of course you do.  That would be just LIKE a mammal. -- Ski Mask, Founder and
President of Ducks With Swords

2 Phat -- Yes, you ARE.  I put it down to the spirituous liquors you consume.  Very
fattening, spirituous liquors.  And you Dwarves do NOT carry off the extra weight at
all well.  Not to mention that you look ridiculous walking under carriages and the
like.  Drunkards, every one of you. -- Carrie Nation

Keel Woodhaven -- You MAMMAL!  What insult will suffice?  May you be struck PLAID! --
Ski Mask

Keel Woodhaven -- (modestly)  It's my red hair.  The guys always like that. --
Delice, the good Bad Apple

Keel Woodhaven -- Sir, you jest, and about serious matters!  It is well known that
Sheila Greywand is paying less and increasingly less attention to her gladiators.
She no longer CARES, and also, the magic which preserves youth indefinitely is
waning.  I had two new gray hairs this morning. -- Carrie Nation
P.S.  I attribute them to the strain of dealing with my drunken teammates, BUT it
would not have happened if "agelessness" had not slipped.

20 September 2004
Azereth has returned!  I am the manager for Scarlet Blades in DM 25.  I was a member
of the Crimson Alliance and the Crimson Brotherhood (which was composed of former CA
members).  I've been out of the game for many (at least 5) years.  I would like to
hear from anyone who remembers me, as well as any Alliance that is seeking to add
experienced managers to their roster.  Contact me at:
     Anthony Wells
     600 W. Shore Dr.
     Stanton, MI  48888
or by personal ads in DM 25.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

STEVE MCQUEEN devastated DIRT WORM in a 2 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
UZI vanquished BIG COUNTRY in a exciting 1 minute gory uneven Challenge battle.
TAOS slimly won victory over MAN O' WAR in a crowd pleasing 2 minute Challenge brawl.
EVIL ELMO was defeated by PUTZ'N ALONG in a exciting 4 minute Challenge fight.
TIME SQUARE devastated DELICE THE RED in a 1 minute uneven Challenge Title brawl.
NUTMEG was devastated by TICKLES in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge match.
SIR NASTY ONE was overpowered by AERYN SUN in a 1 minute uneven Challenge melee.
RAISON D'ETRE won victory over ISHINOMORI in a popular 1 minute Challenge duel.
NED THE JANITOR was viciously subdued by BUDDERCUP in a 4 minute Challenge duel.
MICHAEL J'EH FOX overpowered EXILE in a popular 1 minute one-sided Challenge melee.
ELENA was subdued by HALLIE O'DENE in a crowd pleasing 2 minute Challenge competition.
W.T. POOH savagely defeated BRICK in a 16 minute bloody Challenge match.
RUTHLESS beat CREDIT LINE in a crowd pleasing 1 minute Challenge conflict.
MELANCHOLY was overpowered by PRIZMATYK WAHL in a 2 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
VALLISNERIA handily defeated QUIBBLE in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge bout.
50 SUCKS unbelievably bested IPECAC in a popular 3 minute brutal brawl.
TUM demolished MOD COD in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
TUTANKHAMUN was executed by JAKUCHU ITO in a 1 minute mismatched fight.
SIR VILE devastated BECKY in a popular 1 minute one-sided contest.
FOUNTAINS OF WAYNE vanquished OSWALD ORC in a action packed 1 minute one-sided match.
MASHER won victory over KAIDEN in a crowd pleasing 1 minute gory fray.
EMILY demolished BEER GOGGLES in a action packed 1 minute one-sided fight.
SPAZZ overpowered THATDOGWILLBITEU in a popular 1 minute uneven fight.
MARY ANN was luckily beaten by AEDON in a action packed 3 minute brutal match.
CADDY JACKKNIFE was viciously subdued by QUONSET in a popular 2 minute gruesome fray.
FEAR was overpowered by SPUTTER in a exciting 1 minute uneven competition.
DITCH RAT defeated KIDNEY in a action packed 1 minute fight.
SATOSHI KUNO handily defeated KONGOL in a 2 minute one-sided fight.
PIYA was demolished by MORADOR in a exciting 1 minute one-sided fight.
R IS FOR REPUGNANT narrowly defeated LAKE SAILOR in a action packed 3 minute bout.
HEART was devastated by GAR & BRILL in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
GUARDIAN slimly won victory over KOOKABURRA in a 2 minute brutal battle.
2 PHAT viciously subdued SKI MASK in a action packed 2 minute gory bout.
CARRIE NATION was demolished by QUIETUS in a exciting 1 minute mismatched match.
BLACK EYE overpowered NUTCRACKER in a 1 minute uneven bout.
PINK BEAR was savagely defeated by SIR PENT in a 2 minute brutal competition.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  19         PARRY-LUNGE       11 -   4 -  0      73  |
|WALL OF STEEL                   12         PARRY-RIPOSTE      2 -   1 -  0      67  |
|AIMED BLOW                      10         SLASHING ATTACK   25 -  15 -  0      63  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   7         LUNGING ATTACK    95 -  75 -  2      56  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      7         WALL OF STEEL     50 -  45 -  3      53  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  7         TOTAL PARRY       28 -  27 -  0      51  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  6         AIMED BLOW        39 -  46 -  0      46  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      2         BASHING ATTACK    32 -  43 -  0      43  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     0         STRIKING ATTACK   29 -  47 -  2      38  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    0         PARRY-STRIKE       1 -   5 -  0      17  |

Turn 387 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

AIMED BLOW         7 -  3     LUNGING ATTACK     9 - 10         5  LUNGING ATTACK 
SLASHING ATTACK    4 -  2     TOTAL PARRY        3 -  4         3  AIMED BLOW     
BASHING ATTACK     4 -  3     STRIKING ATTACK    2 -  5         1  WALL OF STEEL  
PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  1     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  0         1  PARRY-LUNGE    
WALL OF STEEL      6 -  6     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  0         1  STRIKING ATTACK

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
LUNGING ATTACK   TIME SQUARE 65-4637        35  13  0  260 BIG APPLE MENACE (836)
WALL OF STEEL    50 SUCKS 60-4129           73  37  2  278 JOKA MASHER! (833)
AIMED BLOW       STEVE MCQUEEN 47-3908      37  38  1  223 ROYAL FLUSH (146)
PARRY-LUNGE      AERYN SUN 10-4268          28  12  0  210 FARSCAPE (1277)
STRIKING ATTACK  DELICE THE RED 56-3401     54  56  2  196 BAD APPLES (1091)
BASHING ATTACK   TICKLES 9-3486             49  68  1  193 MY PETS (554)
TOTAL PARRY      DIRT WORM 82-2315          69  37  0  185 VERMIN!! (1124)
SLASHING ATTACK  MICHAEL J'EH FOX 60-5263   26  12  2  183 INGRATE WHITE NORTH (1006)

The overall popularity leader is KAIDEN 35-3108.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was BUDDERCUP 60-5967.  The ten other most popular fighters were IPECAC 45-3625, MARY 
ANN 47-4378, ELENA 63-2356, MAN O' WAR 15-4517, PRIZMATYK WAHL 73-4252, NED THE 
JANITOR 66-2973, HALLIE O'DENE 58-6018, EMILY 17-5753, QUONSET 10-4990, and 2 PHAT 
72-5064.

The least popular fighter this week was NUTCRACKER 38-4380.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were CARRIE NATION 64-4054, HEART 97-1096, THATDOGWILLBITEU 42-1981, 
TUTANKHAMUN 71-3357, MOD COD 55-2638, QUIBBLE 10-4756, PINK BEAR 36-5883, SKI MASK 
58-5869, PIYA 71-5625, and FEAR 82-10416.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
NIANIA(2)            1  0 0  MURSKA(35)           0  1 0  KURUKAR(64)          0  1 0  
BONSUR(7)            4  5 1  JHANS(36)            0  1 0  DAL SHANG(65)        1  0 0  
ZUKAL(9)             1  0 0  CLIFFHOME(38)        1  3 0  TARRGIR(66)          0  1 0  
KOLACT(10)           5  1 0  RODEKI(42)           0  1 0  KYR'TERR(71)         0  2 0  
ARUAK CITY(11)       0  1 0  KRILL(44)            1  0 0  DRAGONHEAD(72)       1  0 0  
MALCORN(15)          1  1 0  STORMCROWE(45)       0  1 0  ERINIKA(73)          1  0 0  
ALJAFIR(17)          1  1 0  NORTH FORK(47)       1  1 0  DWES EG(82)          3  3 0  
TALCAMA(18)          1  0 0  KHALANI(55)          0  1 0  OLD VALAMANTIS(96)   0  1 0  
SEAM(20)             0  1 0  ROCANIS(56)          0  1 0  SHADOW GROVE(97)     0  1 0  
CALEAM(26)           1  0 0  DELARQ TOR(58)       1  1 0  SYVYN'S HILL(98)     1  0 0  
IAYE(30)             1  0 0  ARADI(60)            6  0 0  SOUTH RIDGE(99)      1  1 0  
NIYTYOLE ISLAND(33)  2  2 0  AMEN-TEI(63)         0  1 0  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 MORADOR 2-5089              31  12  1   94  RESURRECTION (1065)        NIANIA
 JAKUCHU ITO 7-5102          34  16  1  243  NINJAS (1060)              BONSUR
 TICKLES 9-3486              49  68  1  193  MY PETS (554)              ZUKAL
 AERYN SUN 10-4268           28  12  0  210  FARSCAPE (1277)            KOLACT
 CADDY JACKKNIFE 11-4288     23  10  0  131  GERFEL'S FRIENDS (516)     ARUAK CITY
 RUTHLESS 15-4591            19   6  0  104  TRIPLE CROWN (990)         MALCORN
 EMILY 17-5753               33  20  0  180  BLADES OF STEEL (1068)     ALJAFIR
 TUM 18-7380                 32  17  2  220  FROM THE FACE (1265)       TALCAMA
 BRICK 20-389                39  39  0  132  THE BLUES (1286)           SEAM
 TAOS 26-4042                15  10  1   75  HERE TO PHOENIX (1072)     CALEAM
 VALLISNERIA 30-3226         16   9  1   59  THE GREENHOUSE (1219)      IAYE
 SPAZZ 33-6207               47  41  0  165  SNOTZI'S II (813)          NIYTYOLE ISLAND
 KAIDEN 35-3108              88  87  2  148  VIOLENT FEMS (972)         MURSKA
 PINK BEAR 36-5883           27  13  1   73  LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... (1304 JHANS
 BIG COUNTRY 38-2765         40  27  3  175  DU BASHERS (657)           CLIFFHOME
 THATDOGWILLBITEU 42-1981    23  29  1  132  SAUSAGE DOGS (1016)        RODEKI
 UZI 44-1701                 30  27  1  202  BLOWN AWAY (820)           KRILL
 IPECAC 45-3625              29  17  0  203  EMETICS (1242)             STORMCROWE

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 STEVE MCQUEEN 47-3908       37  38  1  223  ROYAL FLUSH (146)          NORTH FORK
 MOD COD 55-2638             56  82  2  194  RHYME TYME (449)           KHALANI
 DELICE THE RED 56-3401      54  56  2  196  BAD APPLES (1091)          ROCANIS
 HALLIE O'DENE 58-6018       53  70  0  159  CIRQUE DU MASQUES (1093)   DELARQ TOR
 50 SUCKS 60-4129            73  37  2  278  JOKA MASHER! (833)         ARADI
 ELENA 63-2356               19   6  0  128  SITTIN' ON ACES (1302)     AMEN-TEI
 CARRIE NATION 64-4054       44  81  0   62  REFORMERS (1095)           KURUKAR
 TIME SQUARE 65-4637         35  13  0  260  BIG APPLE MENACE (836)     DAL SHANG
 NED THE JANITOR 66-2973     25  26  0  162  ANDORIAN UNIVERSITY (1123) TARRGIR
 TUTANKHAMUN 71-3357         31  22  0  180  CARTOUCHE (1111)           KYR'TERR
 2 PHAT 72-5064              22   7  1   90  VERMIN (771)               DRAGONHEAD
 PRIZMATYK WAHL 73-4252      21  11  2  100  MAGIC MAYHEM (1298)        ERINIKA
 DIRT WORM 82-2315           69  37  0  185  VERMIN!! (1124)            DWES EG
 KIDNEY 96-972               15  15  3  112  ORGAN ON THE SANDS (1272)  OLD VALAMANTIS
 HEART 97-1096                8  16  4   52  ORGANS ON THE SAND (1273)  SHADOW GROVE
 FOUNTAINS OF WAYNE 98-809   24  17  4  213  COLLEGE RADIO (1223)       SYVYN'S HILL
 R IS FOR REPUGNANT 99-1155  11   5  4   86  GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME (1306)  SOUTH RIDGE