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Date   : 11/03/2004    Duedate: 11/16/2004

HOME GUARD

DM-101    TURN-388

RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %  RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %
  1 COLLEGE RADI 98/1223  142   75  0 65.4      ROYAL FLUSH 47/146                    
    BIG APPLE MENACE 65/836                     INGRATE WHITE NORTH 60/1006           
  2 BLADES OF ICE 7/162   353  266  7 57.0   11 TWISTED SESA 99/1307  103   98  1 51.2
    BLADES OF STEEL 17/1068                  12 ALL FINESSE 38/1236    66   64  0 50.8
  3-CARTOUCHE 71/1111     519  413  4 55.7      SUGAR AND SPICE 7/1231                
  4-DU BASHERS 38/657      20   16  0 55.6      BATHTUB ARMADA 7/1196                 
  5 QUBIT 10/1136         839  699  7 54.6   13 THE GREENHOU 30/1219   82   82  0 50.0
    VERMIN!! 82/1124                            GERFEL'S FRIENDS 11/516               
    TRIPLE CROWN 15/990                         SITTIN' ON ACES 63/1302               
    SIR AGLIO 10/788                            ANDORIAN UNIVERSITY 66/1123           
    JOKA MASHER! 60/833                      14 MAGIC MAYHEM 73/1298   26   28  1 48.1
    SNOTZI'S II 33/813                          SCREEN DREAMS 47/1299                 
    JOKA MASHER 82/917                       15 EMETICS 45/1242        61   67  0 47.7
    VERMIN! 82/1267                             BUMS 'R' US 60/1142                   
    VERMIN 72/771                               JOYS OF BOOZE 33/1209                 
  6 FARSCAPE 10/1277       20   17  0 54.1   16-SAUSAGE DOGS 42/1016   45   60  0 42.9
    THE BLUES 20/1286                           RESSURRECTION 82/1309                 
  7-LOST SOULS 40/486      36   32  0 52.9      THAI INQUISITION 71/1292              
  8 4-LETTER ANX 82/1271  262  234  1 52.8   17 VIOLENT FEMS 35/972   395  532  9 42.6
    GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME 99/1306                  JUST BECAUSE 38/1228                  
    ORGAN ON THE SANDS 96/1272               18 HARLEQUINS 2/1186      69  103  2 40.1
    WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY 82/1274                WAR HAWKS 10/1026                     
    ORGANS ON THE SAND 97/1273                  IRON TIGERS 36/1312                   
  9 NINJAS 7/1060         236  211  3 52.8   19 MY PETS 9/554         473  737 12 39.1
    LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... 36/1304                RHYME TYME 55/449                     
    FROM THE FACE 18/1265                       GIRL SCOUT COOKIES 33/812             
    RESURRECTION 2/1065                      20 REFORMERS 64/1095     447  752  4 37.3
 10 BLOWN AWAY 44/820     710  678 10 51.2      CIRQUE DU MASQUES 58/1093             
    HERE TO PHOENIX 26/1072                     BAD APPLES 56/1091                    

    '##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id     '-'  Team did not fight this turn

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

     What a week!  I've been down at Dullens, a dead town and a fit place for a Dead 
Tourney.  Only just got back last night late, so I missed your fights.  Sorry about 
that, but some things have to be done, some sacrifices have to be made.  All I've got 
this morning are Snide Clemens's notes, and they're rotten notes.  Full of snide 
remarks, as you might say.
     So, just the facts.

     Emetics was or were avoided by Royal Flush.  Makes sense to me.  Who wants an 
emetic?  50 Sucks was the most challenged.
     Thirty-five fights, ten challenge matches, five of them TV challenges.  No 
deaths.  Two standbys fought, and who said the College of Mimes could send their 
students HERE?

     BLACK EYE (60-6163) (21-14-0,69) of JOKA MASHER! fought CARRIE NATION (64-4054) 
(44-81-0,62) of REFORMERS.  BLACK EYE handily defeated CARRIE NATION in an exciting 1 
minute one-sided fight.  Hit her with your bottle, did you?
     NUTCRACKER (38-4380) (18-12-1,32) of ALL FINESSE fought 2 PHAT (72-5064) (22-7-
1,90) of VERMIN.  NUTCRACKER was demolished by 2 PHAT in an exciting 1 minute 
mismatched match.
     QUIBBLE (10-4756) (26-50-0,39) of QUBIT fought R IS FOR REPUGNANT (99-1155) (11-
5-4,86) of GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME.  QUIBBLE viciously subdued R IS FOR REPUGNANT in a 3 
minute bloody one-sided duel.
     QUIETUS (10-5165) (21-9-1,81) of QUBIT fought MELANCHOLY (7-5319) (17-9-1,76) of 
BATHTUB ARMADA.  QUIETUS savagely defeated MELANCHOLY in an action packed 4 minute 
brutal bout.  There's some kind of poetic justice in that, or maybe it's shrink-talk, 
but it gives me a grue.
     MAN O' WAR (15-4517) (23-15-1,59) of TRIPLE CROWN fought GAR & BRILL (38-4252) 
(26-39-0,72) of JUST BECAUSE.  MAN O' WAR overpowered GAR & BRILL in a 1 minute one-
sided fight.  If challenges were horses, would they all fight like that?
     KOOKABURRA (33-4151) (51-74-2,68) of GIRL SCOUT COOKIES fought HEART (97-1096) 
(8-16-4,52) of ORGANS ON THE SAND.  KOOKABURRA overpowered HEART in a 1 minute one-
sided match.
     MORADOR (2-5089) (31-12-1,94) of RESURRECTION fought SKI MASK (58-5869) (39-65-
0,74) of CIRQUE DU MASQUES.  MORADOR overpowered SKI MASK in an action packed 1 
minute uneven fight.  Roast duck at your guildhouse tonight, Morador?
     W.T. POOH (33-4430) (70-54-0,144) of SNOTZI'S II fought KATRINA (101-9) (0-0-
0,170) of College of Mimes.  W.T. POOH luckily beat KATRINA in an action packed 4 
minute brutal competition.  Luck?  W.T., this is a MIME.  You can do better than 
that.
     ANGAR (10-4933) (22-17-1,110) of WAR HAWKS fought QUONSET (10-490) (32-22-0,149) 
of QUBIT.  ANGAR vanquished QUONSET in an action packed 1 minute one-sided fray.
     DITCH RAT (82-15360) (27-28-3,130) of VERMIN! fought LORETTA (101-8) (0-0-0,110) 
of College of Mimes.  DITCH RAT was demolished by LORETTA in a 2 minute one-sided 
melee.  Hmm, they're making mimes tough these days, aren't they?
     SPUTTER (82-15095) (34-20-1,139) of JOKA MASHER fought BEER GOGGLES (33-6819) 
(30-34-1,138) of JOYS OF BOOZE.  SPUTTER vanquished BEER GOGGLES in a 1 minute one-
sided fight.  I was going to make a comment about this one, but my amanuensis told me 
it was "too crude."
     MARY ANN (47-4378) (16-25-0,117) of SCREEN DREAMS fought KONGOL (7-4524) (34-24-
2,104) of BLADES OF ICE.  MARY ANN lost to KONGOL in a popular 1 minute match.  It's 
an icy day, sure enough.  Maybe the blade didn't melt today.  Yesterday.  Whenever.
     SABLE (2-4950) (28-17-2,103) of HARLEQUINS fought ISHINOMORI (7-5390) (31-11-
1,148) of NINJAS.  SABLE was savagely defeated by ISHINOMORI in a popular 4 minute 
gory match.
     JUGGLER (2-4965) (25-16-0,123) of HARLEQUINS fought RUTHLESS (15-4591) (19-6-
0,104) of TRIPLE CROWN.  JUGGLER was handily defeated by RUTHLESS in a 3 minute 
bloody uneven duel.  You just can't win when you try to juggle a horse.  The legs 
stick out, and the tail gets in your eye, and it just doesn't work.  Uncooperative 
buggers.
     RAISON D'ETRE (7-5311) (25-17-3,169) of BATHTUB ARMADA fought BRICK (20-389) 
(39-39-0,132) of THE BLUES.  RAISON D'ETRE won victory over BRICK in a 2 minute gory 
match.
     EMILY (17-5753) (33-20-0,180) of BLADES OF STEEL fought SATOSHI KUNO (7-5229) 
(26-21-0,142) of NINJAS.  EMILY was bested by SATOSHI KUNO in a popular 1 minute 
bout.
     SPAZZ (33-6207) (47-41-0,165) of SNOTZI'S II fought NUTMEG (7-5167) (26-16-
1,165) of SUGAR AND SPICE.  SPAZZ was savagely defeated by NUTMEG in a crowd pleasing 
1 minute bloody fight.  You know, there are too many Spazzes around.  Spaz and Spazz 
and, who knows, maybe even Spazzz.  It's confusing.
     HALLIE O'DENE (58-6018) (53-70-0,159) of CIRQUE DU MASQUES fought AEDON (7-4295) 
(39-23-1,120) of BLADES OF ICE.  HALLIE O'DENE overpowered AEDON in an exciting 3 
minute brutal one-sided bout.  If that kind of thing excites you....
     EXILE (7-4618) (27-22-1,162) of BLADES OF ICE fought FEAR (82-10416) (22-34-
1,106) of 4-LETTER ANXIETY.  EXILE beat FEAR in a crowd pleasing 4 minute bloody 
brawl.  We always like to see fear go down in defeat, unless it's our opponents who 
are afraid.  Let 'em panic, I say.
     MOD COD (55-2638) (56-82-2,194) of RHYME TYME fought MIME (2-4966) (24-16-4,178) 
of HARLEQUINS.  MOD COD was devastated by MIME in a 1 minute uneven duel.  Aaaagh!  
Mimes everywhere!  This must be a graduate.
     DELICE THE RED (56-3401) (54-56-2,196) of BAD APPLES fought IPECAC (45-3625) 
(29-17-0,203) of EMETICS.  DELICE THE RED handily defeated IPECAC in a popular 1 
minute uneven fight.  Of the Most Avoided Emetics....
     SIR VILE (10-4754) (32-29-1,204) of SIR AGLIO fought BECKY (17-5782) (18-3-
3,165) of BLADES OF STEEL.  SIR VILE was demolished by BECKY in a crowd pleasing 1 
minute one-sided brawl.  She just found him too vile.
     TUM (18-7380) (32-17-2,220) of FROM THE FACE fought AERYN SUN (10-4268) (28-12-
0,210) of FARSCAPE.  TUM was handily defeated by AERYN SUN in a 1 minute one-sided 
contest.  And did she hit him in his tum?
     FOUNTAINS OF WAYNE (98-809) (24-17-4,213) of COLLEGE RADIO fought WURP (10-18) 
(48-54-1,200) of WAR HAWKS.  FOUNTAINS OF WAYNE overpowered WURP in a crowd pleasing 
1 minute one-sided match.

     And the challenge matches:
     VALLISNERIA (30-3226) (16-9-1,59) of THE GREENHOUSE challenged PINK BEAR (36-
5883) (27-13-1,73) of LITTLE GIRLS LIKE....  Up 14.  VALLISNERIA was defeated by PINK 
BEAR in a 2 minute Challenge fight.  If I was a little girl, which thank the gods I'm 
not, I don't think I'd like a mean, brutal pink teddy bear.
     PRIZMATYK WAHL (73-4252) (21-11-2,100) of MAGIC MAYHEM challenged CREDIT LINE 
(82-1366) (2-18-0,96) of WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY.  Down 4.  PRIZMATYK WAHL was 
overpowered by CREDIT LINE in a 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.  Well, you know how 
it is, the people who have the most fun are the blonde women and the men with a good 
credit line.
     CADDY JACKKNIFE (11-4288) (23-10-0,131) of GERFEL'S FRIENDS challenged KAIDEN 
(35-3108) (88-87-2,148) of VIOLENT FEMS.  Up 17.  CADDY JACKKNIFE was viciously 
subdued by KAIDEN in a 2 minute Challenge duel.  Because they wouldn't let him use 
his signature weapon?
     ELENA (63-2356) (19-6-0,128) of SITTIN' ON ACES challenged MASHER (60-4553) (49-
45-3,169) of JOKA MASHER!  Up 41.  ELENA devastated MASHER in an action packed 1 
minute one-sided Challenge competition.  Do you suppose she's got her third ace now?
     NED THE JANITOR (66-2973) (25-26-0,162) of ANDORIAN UNIVERSITY challenged 
BUDDERCUP (60-5967) (39-34-0,184) of BUMS 'R' US.  Up 22.  NED THE JANITOR was 
defeated by BUDDERCUP in an exciting 4 minute Challenge struggle.  When he loses, 
they make him sweep the halls.  Ned.
     EVIL ELMO (99-1222) (10-6-4,56) of TWISTED SESAME TV challenged PUTZ'N ALONG 
(60-5437) (38-32-0,80) of JOKA MASHER!  EVIL ELMO was bested by PUTZ'N ALONG in a 2 
minute Challenge duel.  Sometimes being laid back works.  And it's always more 
relaxing.
     TAOS (26-4042) (15-10-1,75) of HERE TO PHOENIX TV challenged SIR PENT (10-5089) 
(20-14-1,90) of SIR AGLIO.  Up 15.  TAOS devastated SIR PENT in an exciting 1 minute 
bloody one-sided Challenge fight.  This is Patrick Taos?
     MICHAEL J'EH FOX (60-5263) (26-12-2,183) of INGRATE WHITE NORTH TV challenged 
TICKLES (9-3486) (49-68-1,193) of MY PETS.  Up 10.  MICHAEL J'EH FOX was overpowered 
by TICKLES in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge duel.  Foxes just can't take all that 
tickling.  And who can blame them?
     UZI (44-1701) (30-27-1,202) of BLOWN AWAY TV challenged 50 SUCKS (60-4129) (73-
37-2,278) of JOKA MASHER!  Up 76.  UZI was subdued by 50 SUCKS in an exciting 1 
minute Challenge melee.  Is this bold, or just reckless?  A victory (one of many) for 
Most-Challenged 50.
     STEVE MCQUEEN (47-3908) (37-38-1,223) of ROYAL FLUSH TV challenged DIRT WORM 
(82-2315) (69-37-0,185) of VERMIN!!  Down a lot, uh, do I have to do the math this 
early in the morning?  38.  STEVE MCQUEEN devastated DIRT WORM in a 4 minute 
mismatched Challenge fight.  The maintenance crew is complaining about worm bits 
ground into the sand.

     And for the Title, a random match (which is what happens when you don't write a 
column, Time!):  TIME SQUARE (65-4637) (35-13-0,260) of BIG APPLE MENACE fought 
JAKUCHU ITO (7-5102) (34-16-1,243) of NINJAS.  TIME SQUARE was beaten by JAKUCHU ITO 
in a popular 1 minute Title melee.  And congratulations to Jakuchu Ito.

                                        Olaf

CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD          W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 JAKUCHU ITO 7-5102          35  16  1  260  NINJAS (1060)              BONSUR

GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 50 SUCKS 60-4129            74  37  2  286  JOKA MASHER! (833)         ARADI
 STEVE MCQUEEN 47-3908       38  38  1  248  ROYAL FLUSH (146)          NORTH FORK
 AERYN SUN 10-4268           29  12  0  228  FARSCAPE (1277)            KOLACT
 FOUNTAINS OF WAYNE 98-809   25  17  4  224  COLLEGE RADIO (1223)       SYVYN'S HILL
 DELICE THE RED 56-3401      55  56  2  217  BAD APPLES (1091)          ROCANIS

GRAND CHAMPIONS               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 TICKLES 9-3486              50  68  1  207  MY PETS (554)              ZUKAL
 UZI 44-1701                 30  28  1  204  BLOWN AWAY (820)           KRILL
 TIME SQUARE 65-4637         35  14  0  201  BIG APPLE MENACE (836)     DAL SHANG
 MIME 2-4966                 25  16  4  197  HARLEQUINS (1186)          NIANIA
 BECKY 17-5782               19   3  3  196  BLADES OF STEEL (1068)     ALJAFIR
 TUM 18-7380                 32  18  2  194  FROM THE FACE (1265)       TALCAMA
 WURP 10-18                  48  55  1  192  WAR HAWKS (1026)           KOLACT
 IPECAC 45-3625              29  18  0  189  EMETICS (1242)             STORMCROWE
 BUDDERCUP 60-5967           40  34  0  186  BUMS 'R' US (1142)         ARADI

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 DIRT WORM 82-2315           69  38  0  180  VERMIN!! (1124)            DWES EG
-TUTANKHAMUN 71-3357         31  22  0  180  CARTOUCHE (1111)           KYR'TERR
 MOD COD 55-2638             56  83  2  178  RHYME TYME (449)           KHALANI
 SIR VILE 10-4754            32  30  1  176  SIR AGLIO (788)            KOLACT
 MICHAEL J'EH FOX 60-5263    26  13  2  176  INGRATE WHITE NORTH (1006) ARADI
-BIG COUNTRY 38-2765         40  27  3  175  DU BASHERS (657)           CLIFFHOME
 NUTMEG 7-5167               27  16  1  174  SUGAR AND SPICE (1231)     BONSUR
-SIR NASTY ONE 38-2787       25  36  1  174  DU BASHERS (657)           CLIFFHOME
 SATOSHI KUNO 7-5229         27  21  0  173  NINJAS (1060)              BONSUR
 RAISON D'ETRE 7-5311        26  17  3  171  BATHTUB ARMADA (1196)      BONSUR
 HALLIE O'DENE 58-6018       54  70  0  170  CIRQUE DU MASQUES (1093)   DELARQ TOR
 NED THE JANITOR 66-2973     25  27  0  166  ANDORIAN UNIVERSITY (1123) TARRGIR
 EXILE 7-4618                28  22  1  164  BLADES OF ICE (162)        BONSUR
 W.T. POOH 33-4430           71  54  0  163  SNOTZI'S II (813)          NIYTYOLE ISLAND
 SPAZZ 33-6207               47  42  0  163  SNOTZI'S II (813)          NIYTYOLE ISLAND
 ELENA 63-2356               20   6  0  162  SITTIN' ON ACES (1302)     AMEN-TEI
 KAIDEN 35-3108              89  87  2  159  VIOLENT FEMS (972)         MURSKA
 EMILY 17-5753               33  21  0  158  BLADES OF STEEL (1068)     ALJAFIR
 ISHINOMORI 7-5390           32  11  1  151  NINJAS (1060)              BONSUR

GRAND ADEPTS                  W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 SPUTTER 82-15095            35  20  1  149  JOKA MASHER (917)          DWES EG
 ANGAR 10-4933               23  17  1  146  WAR HAWKS (1026)           KOLACT
 MASHER 60-4553              49  46  3  143  JOKA MASHER! (833)         ARADI
 BRICK 20-389                39  40  0  138  THE BLUES (1286)           SEAM
 BEER GOGGLES 33-6819        30  35  1  132  JOYS OF BOOZE (1209)       NIYTYOLE ISLAND
-THATDOGWILLBITEU 42-1981    23  29  1  132  SAUSAGE DOGS (1016)        RODEKI
 CADDY JACKKNIFE 11-4288     23  11  0  131  GERFEL'S FRIENDS (516)     ARUAK CITY
 RUTHLESS 15-4591            20   6  0  130  TRIPLE CROWN (990)         MALCORN
 QUONSET 10-4990             32  23  0  121  QUBIT (1136)               KOLACT
 AEDON 7-4295                39  24  1  120  BLADES OF ICE (162)        BONSUR
 FEAR 82-10416               22  35  1  120  4-LETTER ANXIETY (1271)    DWES EG
 KONGOL 7-4524               35  24  2  117  BLADES OF ICE (162)        BONSUR
 SABLE 2-4950                28  18  2  115  HARLEQUINS (1186)          NIANIA
 CREDIT LINE 82-1366          3  18  0  113  WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY (1274 DWES EG
-KIDNEY 96-972               15  15  3  112  ORGAN ON THE SANDS (1272)  OLD VALAMANTIS
 DITCH RAT 82-15360          27  29  3  110  VERMIN! (1267)             DWES EG
 JUGGLER 2-4965              25  17  0  107  HARLEQUINS (1186)          NIANIA

GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 MORADOR 2-5089              32  12  1  100  RESURRECTION (1065)        NIANIA

GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 TAOS 26-4042                16  10  1   97  HERE TO PHOENIX (1072)     CALEAM
 2 PHAT 72-5064              23   7  1   92  VERMIN (771)               DRAGONHEAD
 QUIETUS 10-5165             22   9  1   92  QUBIT (1136)               KOLACT

GRAND INITIATES               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 PRIZMATYK WAHL 73-4252      21  12  2   88  MAGIC MAYHEM (1298)        ERINIKA
 PUTZ'N ALONG 60-5437        39  32  0   82  JOKA MASHER! (833)         ARADI
 PINK BEAR 36-5883           28  13  1   79  LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... (1304 JHANS
 BLACK EYE 60-6163           22  14  0   78  JOKA MASHER! (833)         ARADI
-GUARDIAN 82-16527            9   6  0   78  RESSURRECTION (1309)       DWES EG
 MAN O' WAR 15-4517          24  15  1   76  TRIPLE CROWN (990)         MALCORN
 MELANCHOLY 7-5319           17  10  1   75  BATHTUB ARMADA (1196)      BONSUR
-PIYA 71-5625                 8   3  0   75  THAI INQUISITION (1292)    KYR'TERR
 KOOKABURRA 33-4151          52  74  2   74  GIRL SCOUT COOKIES (812)   NIYTYOLE ISLAND
 SKI MASK 58-5869            39  66  0   74  CIRQUE DU MASQUES (1093)   DELARQ TOR
 SIR PENT 10-5089            20  15  1   74  SIR AGLIO (788)            KOLACT
 QUIBBLE 10-4756             27  50  0   72  QUBIT (1136)               KOLACT
 VALLISNERIA 30-3226         16  10  1   63  THE GREENHOUSE (1219)      IAYE
 EVIL ELMO 99-1222           10   7  4   59  TWISTED SESAME (1307)      SOUTH RIDGE
 GAR & BRILL 38-4252         26  40  0   57  JUST BECAUSE (1228)        CLIFFHOME
 R IS FOR REPUGNANT 99-1155  11   6  4   57  GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME (1306)  SOUTH RIDGE
 CARRIE NATION 64-4054       44  82  0   56  REFORMERS (1095)           KURUKAR
-SUMMERSUN 40-2672           21  18  2   55  LOST SOULS (486)           ZENSU
-BLUE FALCON 6-5911          17   3  0   54  BATTLE BEASTS (1235)       TRANSEL
-DUCK TAPE 39-3283           13  11  2   52  DUCKS UNLIMITED (1221)     XOCHITHLAN
 HEART 97-1096                8  17  4   46  ORGANS ON THE SAND (1273)  SHADOW GROVE
 NUTCRACKER 38-4380          18  13  1   41  ALL FINESSE (1236)         CLIFFHOME

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                    W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY              TURN

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

Delice -- Uh huh, I like red hair myself.  These silver streaks in my hair are 
strictly a chaos effect, it don't mean I'm old.  You busy Saturday? -- Keel

Ski Mask -- I never mind insults from somebody with no hair what-so-ever.  (smiling)  
Looks like you've got enough feathers there to make a nice pillow, though.  C'mere... 
-- Keel

Carrie Nation -- I don't know about Sheila, but I think you were born with gray 
hairs. -- Keel

Time Square -- It's all YOUR fault that yesterday was so long!  Everyone knows that 
when time is square, it can't roll along properly. -- Delice the Red

Elena -- Sometimes an ace or two isn't enough... when the other person's got, say, a 
full house, king high.  But it was a good effort, and once you get that third ace, 
you're going to be a terror. -- Hallie O'Dene

2 Phat -- Gods, don't SIT on me, you hairy little mammal! -- Ski Mask, Founder and 
President, Ducks with Swords
P.S.  I thought you Dwarves concentrated on other mammals, like RATS, and fish.

Quietus -- (scowling)  I know there was liquor in there somewhere, and when I find 
out about it, you are TOAST. -- Carrie Nation

Elena -- Everyone drinks here on the Isle!  I've seen it.  They say there's nothing 
else to do but fight, and fighting DOES get tiresome after a while.  Mind you stay 
sober, now! -- Carrie Nation

22 October 2004
                         Youngblood's Three and Out Contest

I would like to take this time to announce and invite all managers to compete in what
I think will be an awesome contest.  If you haven't ever TC'd at a tourney before,
here is your chance.  The contest will start Wednesday, December 1, 2004, but a
chance will be given November 17 to dark arena, only, any warrior that you do not see
fit to run in the contest.  So now that I have your attention, here are the rules
(like you didn't know they were coming sooner or later).

 1.  Any manager participating can enter one team, only.
 2.  No sandbagging whatsoever.  (I will keep up with it, every turn.)
 3.  No teams or warriors will be allowed to run after contest starts.
 4.  All warriors will run until they lose three times, after three losses they are
     eliminated.
 5.  If a warrior sits out a turn, they are accounted with a loss in the contest.
     This is to keep warriors with winning records from sitting out until the end of
     the contest.
 6.  If a warrior is killed during the contest, the replacement cannot enter the
     contest.
 7.  If a warrior is killed, bloodfeuding is allowed, but only by a warrior that is
     active in the contest.
 8.  If a warrior is run after being eliminated, the manager is disqualified from the
     contest, no questions asked.
 9.  Challenges are legal, up or down.
10.  Contest will keep going until 1 warrior is left without three losses, and that
     warrior, of course, is accounted the winner.
11.  All managers participating will be asked to purchase a rollup certificate, to be
     awarded to the winners of the contest.

                                    <<<PRIZES>>>

     As I have already said, and according to participation, rollups will be awarded
to the first and second place managers.  So the majority and minority of the rollups
will be determined when all are accumulated.
     Contest Champion--2 Faves prizes, and majority of rollup certificates
     Contest Runner-up--1 Faves prize, and minority of rollup certificates
     So once again I invite all managers old and new to participate in what should be
a fierce and challenging contest.  <<<REMEMBER, FIRST OFFICIAL TURN OF THE CONTEST IS
DECEMBER THE FIRST, AND AS I SAID BEFORE, THE TURN BEFORE (NOVEMBER 17TH) YOU MAY
DARK ARENA CHALLENGE ONLY!!!  ANY WARRIOR WITH ANY FE (FIGHT EXPERIENCE) WHEN THE
CONTEST STARTS WILL BE ELIMINATED FROM THE CONTEST.

                          YOUNGBLOOD of WENSINWASIN

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

STEVE MCQUEEN devastated DIRT WORM in a 4 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
UZI was subdued by 50 SUCKS in a exciting 1 minute Challenge melee.
MICHAEL J'EH FOX was overpowered by TICKLES in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge duel.
TAOS devastated SIR PENT in a exciting 1 minute bloody one-sided Challenge fight.
EVIL ELMO was bested by PUTZ'N ALONG in a 2 minute Challenge duel.
NED THE JANITOR was defeated by BUDDERCUP in a exciting 4 minute Challenge struggle.
ELENA devastated MASHER in a action packed 1 minute one-sided Challenge competition.
CADDY JACKKNIFE was viciously subdued by KAIDEN in a 2 minute Challenge duel.
PRIZMATYK WAHL was overpowered by CREDIT LINE in a 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
VALLISNERIA was defeated by PINK BEAR in a 2 minute Challenge fight.
TIME SQUARE was beaten by JAKUCHU ITO in a popular 1 minute Title melee.
FOUNTAINS OF WAYNE overpowered WURP in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided match.
TUM was handily defeated by AERYN SUN in a 1 minute one-sided contest.
SIR VILE was demolished by BECKY in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided brawl.
DELICE THE RED handily defeated IPECAC in a popular 1 minute uneven fight.
MOD COD was devastated by MIME in a 1 minute uneven duel.
EXILE beat FEAR in a crowd pleasing 4 minute bloody brawl.
HALLIE O'DENE overpowered AEDON in a exciting 3 minute brutal one-sided bout.
SPAZZ was savagely defeated by NUTMEG in a crowd pleasing 1 minute bloody fight.
EMILY was bested by SATOSHI KUNO in a popular 1 minute bout.
RAISON D'ETRE won victory over BRICK in a 2 minute gory match.
JUGGLER was handily defeated by RUTHLESS in a 3 minute bloody uneven duel.
SABLE was savagely defeated by ISHINOMORI in a popular 4 minute gory match.
MARY ANN lost to KONGOL in a popular 1 minute match.
SPUTTER vanquished BEER GOGGLES in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
DITCH RAT was demolished by LORETTA in a 2 minute one-sided melee.
ANGAR vanquished QUONSET in a action packed 1 minute one-sided fray.
W.T. POOH luckily beat KATRINA in a action packed 4 minute brutal competition.
MORADOR overpowered SKI MASK in a action packed 1 minute uneven fight.
KOOKABURRA overpowered HEART in a 1 minute one-sided match.
MAN O' WAR overpowered GAR & BRILL in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
QUIETUS savagely defeated MELANCHOLY in a action packed 4 minute brutal bout.
QUIBBLE viciously subdued R IS FOR REPUGNANT in a 3 minute bloody one-sided duel.
NUTCRACKER was demolished by 2 PHAT in a exciting 1 minute mismatched match.
BLACK EYE handily defeated CARRIE NATION in a exciting 1 minute one-sided fight.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  17         PARRY-LUNGE       10 -   4 -  0      71  |
|WALL OF STEEL                   13         PARRY-RIPOSTE      2 -   1 -  0      67  |
|AIMED BLOW                      10         LUNGING ATTACK    99 -  71 -  2      58  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  7         SLASHING ATTACK   25 -  18 -  0      58  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  7         WALL OF STEEL     53 -  48 -  2      52  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   7         TOTAL PARRY       28 -  28 -  0      50  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      6         AIMED BLOW        40 -  48 -  0      45  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      1         BASHING ATTACK    30 -  44 -  0      41  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     0         STRIKING ATTACK   29 -  46 -  2      39  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    0         PARRY-STRIKE       1 -   3 -  0      25  |

Turn 388 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  0     SLASHING ATTACK    3 -  4         3  AIMED BLOW     
LUNGING ATTACK    11 -  6     STRIKING ATTACK    3 -  4         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
WALL OF STEEL      7 -  6     BASHING ATTACK     3 -  4         2  STRIKING ATTACK
                              AIMED BLOW         4 -  6         1  WALL OF STEEL  
                              TOTAL PARRY        2 -  4         1  PARRY-LUNGE    
                              PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  0         1  BASHING ATTACK 
                              PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  0         1  SLASHING ATTACK

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
LUNGING ATTACK   JAKUCHU ITO 7-5102         35  16  1  260 NINJAS (1060)
WALL OF STEEL    50 SUCKS 60-4129           74  37  2  286 JOKA MASHER! (833)
AIMED BLOW       STEVE MCQUEEN 47-3908      38  38  1  248 ROYAL FLUSH (146)
PARRY-LUNGE      AERYN SUN 10-4268          29  12  0  228 FARSCAPE (1277)
STRIKING ATTACK  DELICE THE RED 56-3401     55  56  2  217 BAD APPLES (1091)
BASHING ATTACK   TICKLES 9-3486             50  68  1  207 MY PETS (554)
SLASHING ATTACK  MIME 2-4966                25  16  4  197 HARLEQUINS (1186)
TOTAL PARRY      DIRT WORM 82-2315          69  38  0  180 VERMIN!! (1124)

The overall popularity leader is KAIDEN 35-3108.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was QUIETUS 10-5165.  The ten other most popular fighters were ISHINOMORI 7-5390, 
BUDDERCUP 60-5967, EXILE 7-4618, STEVE MCQUEEN 47-3908, FEAR 82-10416, HALLIE O'DENE 
58-6018, KAIDEN 35-3108, DELICE THE RED 56-3401, NED THE JANITOR 66-2973, and JAKUCHU 
ITO 7-5102.

The least popular fighter this week was GAR & BRILL 38-4252.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were HEART 97-1096, MOD COD 55-2638, PRIZMATYK WAHL 73-4252, MICHAEL 
J'EH FOX 60-5263, CARRIE NATION 64-4054, NUTCRACKER 38-4380, SKI MASK 58-5869, 
QUONSET 10-4990, DITCH RAT 82-15360, and BEER GOGGLES 33-6819.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
NIANIA(2)            2  2 0  NIYTYOLE ISLAND(33)  2  2 0  AMEN-TEI(63)         1  0 0  
BONSUR(7)            7  2 0  MURSKA(35)           1  0 0  KURUKAR(64)          0  1 0  
ZUKAL(9)             1  0 0  JHANS(36)            1  0 0  DAL SHANG(65)        0  1 0  
KOLACT(10)           4  4 0  CLIFFHOME(38)        0  2 0  TARRGIR(66)          0  1 0  
ARUAK CITY(11)       0  1 0  KRILL(44)            0  1 0  DRAGONHEAD(72)       1  0 0  
MALCORN(15)          2  0 0  STORMCROWE(45)       0  1 0  ERINIKA(73)          0  1 0  
ALJAFIR(17)          1  1 0  NORTH FORK(47)       1  1 0  DWES EG(82)          2  3 0  
TALCAMA(18)          0  1 0  KHALANI(55)          0  1 0  SHADOW GROVE(97)     0  1 0  
SEAM(20)             0  1 0  ROCANIS(56)          1  0 0  SYVYN'S HILL(98)     1  0 0  
CALEAM(26)           1  0 0  DELARQ TOR(58)       1  1 0  SOUTH RIDGE(99)      0  2 0  
IAYE(30)             0  1 0  ARADI(60)            4  2 0  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 MIME 2-4966                 25  16  4  197  HARLEQUINS (1186)          NIANIA
 JAKUCHU ITO 7-5102          35  16  1  260  NINJAS (1060)              BONSUR
 TICKLES 9-3486              50  68  1  207  MY PETS (554)              ZUKAL
 AERYN SUN 10-4268           29  12  0  228  FARSCAPE (1277)            KOLACT
 CADDY JACKKNIFE 11-4288     23  11  0  131  GERFEL'S FRIENDS (516)     ARUAK CITY
 RUTHLESS 15-4591            20   6  0  130  TRIPLE CROWN (990)         MALCORN
 BECKY 17-5782               19   3  3  196  BLADES OF STEEL (1068)     ALJAFIR
 TUM 18-7380                 32  18  2  194  FROM THE FACE (1265)       TALCAMA
 BRICK 20-389                39  40  0  138  THE BLUES (1286)           SEAM
 TAOS 26-4042                16  10  1   97  HERE TO PHOENIX (1072)     CALEAM
 VALLISNERIA 30-3226         16  10  1   63  THE GREENHOUSE (1219)      IAYE
 W.T. POOH 33-4430           71  54  0  163  SNOTZI'S II (813)          NIYTYOLE ISLAND
 KAIDEN 35-3108              89  87  2  159  VIOLENT FEMS (972)         MURSKA
 PINK BEAR 36-5883           28  13  1   79  LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... (1304 JHANS
 GAR & BRILL 38-4252         26  40  0   57  JUST BECAUSE (1228)        CLIFFHOME
 UZI 44-1701                 30  28  1  204  BLOWN AWAY (820)           KRILL
 IPECAC 45-3625              29  18  0  189  EMETICS (1242)             STORMCROWE
 STEVE MCQUEEN 47-3908       38  38  1  248  ROYAL FLUSH (146)          NORTH FORK
 MOD COD 55-2638             56  83  2  178  RHYME TYME (449)           KHALANI
 DELICE THE RED 56-3401      55  56  2  217  BAD APPLES (1091)          ROCANIS
 HALLIE O'DENE 58-6018       54  70  0  170  CIRQUE DU MASQUES (1093)   DELARQ TOR
 50 SUCKS 60-4129            74  37  2  286  JOKA MASHER! (833)         ARADI
 ELENA 63-2356               20   6  0  162  SITTIN' ON ACES (1302)     AMEN-TEI
 CARRIE NATION 64-4054       44  82  0   56  REFORMERS (1095)           KURUKAR
 TIME SQUARE 65-4637         35  14  0  201  BIG APPLE MENACE (836)     DAL SHANG
 NED THE JANITOR 66-2973     25  27  0  166  ANDORIAN UNIVERSITY (1123) TARRGIR
 2 PHAT 72-5064              23   7  1   92  VERMIN (771)               DRAGONHEAD
 PRIZMATYK WAHL 73-4252      21  12  2   88  MAGIC MAYHEM (1298)        ERINIKA
 DIRT WORM 82-2315           69  38  0  180  VERMIN!! (1124)            DWES EG
 HEART 97-1096                8  17  4   46  ORGANS ON THE SAND (1273)  SHADOW GROVE
 FOUNTAINS OF WAYNE 98-809   25  17  4  224  COLLEGE RADIO (1223)       SYVYN'S HILL
 EVIL ELMO 99-1222           10   7  4   59  TWISTED SESAME (1307)      SOUTH RIDGE