AD
Date : 12/15/2004 Duedate: 12/28/2004
HOME GUARD
DM-101 TURN-391
RANK TEAMS W L K % RANK TEAMS W L K %
1 COLLEGE RADI 98/1223 145 80 0 64.4 9 ALL FINESSE 38/1236 69 67 0 50.7
BIG APPLE MENACE 65/836 SUGAR AND SPICE 7/1231
COSMIC FREAK OUT 21/1315 BATHTUB ARMADA 7/1196
2 BLADES OF ICE 7/162 355 274 7 56.4 10 THE GREENHOU 30/1219 89 87 0 50.6
BLADES OF STEEL 17/1068 GERFEL'S FRIENDS 11/516
3-FARSCAPE 10/1277 23 18 0 56.1 SITTIN' ON ACES 63/1302
THE BLUES 20/1286 ANDORIAN UNIVERSITY 66/1123
4-DU BASHERS 38/657 21 17 0 55.3 11 MAGIC MAYHEM 73/1298 30 30 1 50.0
5 QUBIT 10/1136 865 727 7 54.3 SCREEN DREAMS 47/1299
VERMIN!! 82/1124 12 EMETICS 45/1242 64 73 0 46.7
TRIPLE CROWN 15/990 BUMS 'R' US 60/1142
SIR AGLIO 10/788 JOYS OF BOOZE 33/1209
JOKA MASHER! 60/833 13 VIOLENT FEMS 35/972 397 536 9 42.6
SPIRITUAL GIFT 12/791 JUST BECAUSE 38/1228
SNOTZI'S II 33/813 14 HARE CONTROL 59/1290 49 66 0 42.6
JOKA MASHER 82/917 RESSURRECTION 82/1309
VERMIN! 82/1267 SAUSAGE DOGS 42/1016
VERMIN 72/771 THAI INQUISITION 71/1292
6 NINJAS 7/1060 252 215 3 54.0 15 HARLEQUINS 2/1186 75 107 2 41.2
FROM THE FACE 18/1265 IRON TIGERS 36/1312
LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... 36/1304 WAR HAWKS 10/1026
THE CONFUSED 3/1313 16 MY PETS 9/554 477 742 12 39.1
RESURRECTION 2/1065 RHYME TYME 55/449
7 4-LETTER ANX 82/1271 267 241 1 52.6 GIRL SCOUT COOKIES 33/812
GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME 99/1306 17 REFORMERS 64/1095 450 761 4 37.2
ORGANS ON THE SAND 97/1273 CIRQUE DU MASQUES 58/1093
WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY 82/1274 BAD APPLES 56/1091
8 TWISTED SESA 99/1307 104 99 1 51.2 18 GLORY BOUND T 2/1314 18 31 1 36.7
'##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id '-' Team did not fight this turn
REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER
Much has changed in HOME GUARD since last I was here. Well, for a given value
of "much." After all, I was here just two weeks ago. Never fear, Olaf Modeen adapts
to many situations, as do all successful fighters. But what I'd like is a chance to
adapt to a warm, sunny beach, a lounge under the palms, beautiful girls bringing me
drinks with umbrellas in them, that kind of stuff, what do you think? Can we get the
arenas on the Isle relocated?
What's with JUGGLER? He actually beat VERMIN's 2 PHAT, and walked away with 37
more points from the fight. And how many points did 2 Phat lose, eh? There's
inflation lurking in those statistics, along with a lot of other stuff. Treacherous
things, statistics.
Laughs were big at SNOTZI'S II while they watched SPAZZ clobber BEER GOGGLES.
Nothing like being the only sober gladiator in the fight. He (meaning Beer Goggles,
one presumes) lost 28 points and got bruised from objects thrown from the stands.
HOME GUARD has a Captain of the Guard who doesn't sit back and get lazy. He
challenged HARLEQUINS' MIME (26-17-4), which should prove (ahem!) interesting. MIME
was reminded on the sands why JAKUCHU ITO is Captain of the Guard. Because to them
that has, more shall be given, this time in the way of honors and stuff. And to them
that has bruises, also more are given. Hey, nobody said this would be easy.
If at first you don't succeed, avoid. That'll get you in the spy reports.
Well, maybe. There were only two avoids issued this time, and they didn't both go to
the same place, so there is no "Most Avoided." And, of course, no "Most Avoiding."
You're getting lazy. Somebody in HOME GUARD thinks JOKA MASHER! and their 126-80-2
is too much! Don't ask me who, 'cause I'm not talking.
If at first you don't succeed, give up... You were probably doing it wrong.
What do people see in TICKLES? Her 50-71-1? MY PETS ain't talkin', but she's
got 175 points. Is there a reward for that?
Maybe FROM THE FACE's TUM is one of those guys who likes pain, or something.
That's what he'll get next week, after challenging up 115 to 50 SUCKS. You'd think
this was Andorak! TUM did pretty good last week in beating 50 SUCKS to get 31
points. Why did 50 SUCKS lose, you ask? Simple: he wasn't good enough. At least,
that's our story, and we're sticking to it. Rumors of dirty doings behind the scenes
should be ignored. We're testing a new cleaning lady is all.
TICKLES didn't quite know what to make of a challenge she received from ELENA of
SITTIN' ON ACES, who is 22 points below her. This is proof that Tickles has taken
too many blows to the head. ELENA perhaps got her just desserts, seeing as she won
victory over TICKLES and ended up with 191 recognition points.
I hate going to the effort of writing about the kind of fights that PINK BEAR
gets in. At least, the Commission scribes tell me I should hate it. I'd hate BEING
in those fights, maybe, but talking about 'em? Why should I mind? It isn't ME
that's getting the lumps. She fights people like BAD ACID, 13 points below. I
thought PINK BEAR showed great skill and promise when she subdued BAD ACID. All
right, so I slept through it! Big deal! Yet another reason why I don't hate those
kind of matches.
Warriors of HOME GUARD unite. You have only your games to lose! But then
again, who wants to lose the games? A fight here and there, okay, no problem, but
the games... let's not. Here's some advice: study your opponent, master many
skills, fight dirty. At least, fight dirty until our new cleaning lady learns the
ins and outs of this place.
Well, I'm pretty much through. You guys need to get back practicing. HOME
GUARD is a nice place to live, but I don't like to live in nice places, and nice
places don't like me to live in 'em.
Just being fast about it, here's the fights (if you'd have more fights, I
wouldn't need to put in more than the challenge matches, so how about looking into
that, eh?):
SKI MASK (58-5869) (39-68-0,62) of CIRQUE DU MASQUES fought B&G BOUNCER (101-3)
(0-0-0,30) of the College of Mimes. SKI MASK was demolished by B&G BOUNCER in an
exciting 1 minute mismatched match.
GAR & BRILL (38-4252) (26-42-0,57) of JUST BECAUSE fought GUARDIAN (82-16527)
(10-7-0,81) of RESSURRECTION. GAR & BRILL lost to GUARDIAN in a crowd pleasing 1
minute fight.
MAN O' WAR (15-4517) (26-15-1,87) of TRIPLE CROWN fought NUTCRACKER (38-4380)
(18-14-1,39) of ALL FINESSE. MAN O' WAR was subdued by NUTCRACKER in a 2 minute
contest.
TARGEN (36-5783) (22-13-4,88) of IRON TIGERS fought R IS FOR REPUGNANT (99-1155)
(11-8-4,67) of GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME. TARGEN was luckily beaten by R IS FOR REPUGNANT
in a popular 3 minute one-sided bout.
VALLISNERIA (30-3226) (17-11-1,75) of THE GREENHOUSE fought HEART (97-1096) (9-
18-4,60) of ORGANS ON THE SAND. VALLISNERIA was overpowered by HEART in a 1 minute
one-sided match.
KOOKABURRA (33-4151) (53-75-2,77) of GIRL SCOUT COOKIES fought RIFT (12-3922)
(22-13-1,80) of SPIRITUAL GIFT. KOOKABURRA was overpowered by RIFT in a 2 minute
gory uneven duel.
PUTZ'N ALONG (60-5437) (41-32-0,91) of JOKA MASHER! fought CARRIE NATION (64-
4054) (45-83-0,59) of REFORMERS. PUTZ'N ALONG was viciously subdued by CARRIE NATION
in an exciting 5 minute gory duel.
KONGOL (7-4524) (35-25-2,122) of BLADES OF ICE fought ISHINOMORI (7-5390) (33-
12-1,129) of NINJAS. KONGOL was overpowered by ISHINOMORI in a 1 minute one-sided
fray.
THATDOGWILLBITEU (42-1981) (23-31-1,119) of SAUSAGE DOGS fought ANGAR (10-4933)
(23-18-1,117) of WAR HAWKS. THATDOGWILLBITEU was vanquished by ANGAR in an action
packed 1 minute uneven bout.
AEDON (7-4295) (39-25-1,124) of BLADES OF ICE fought QUONSET (10-4990) (33-24-
0,138) of QUBIT. AEDON was vanquished by QUONSET in a 1 minute brutal one-sided
fight.
MORADOR (2-5089) (33-13-1,104) of RESURRECTION fought RUTHLESS (15-4591) (21-7-
0,137) of TRIPLE CROWN. MORADOR won victory over RUTHLESS in a popular 1 minute
match.
RYRELEE (59-478) (22-14-0,101) of HARE CONTROL fought MARY ANN (47-4378) (18-26-
0,135) of SCREEN DREAMS. RYRELEE subdued MARY ANN in a popular 4 minute fight.
SABLE (2-4950) (29-18-2,135) of HARLEQUINS fought QUIETUS (10-5165) (24-9-1,129)
of QUBIT. SABLE vanquished QUIETUS in a popular 1 minute mismatched fray.
EMILY (17-5753) (34-21-0,160) of BLADES OF STEEL fought MASHER (60-4553) (49-48-
3,127) of JOKA MASHER! EMILY overpowered MASHER in a popular 3 minute gruesome one-
sided duel.
BEER GOGGLES (33-6819) (31-36-1,173) of JOYS OF BOOZE fought SPAZZ (33-6207)
(47-44-0,136) of SNOTZI'S II. BEER GOGGLES was devastated by SPAZZ in a 1 minute
one-sided contest.
2 PHAT (72-5064) (25-7-1,156) of VERMIN fought JUGGLER (2-4965) (25-18-0,113) of
HARLEQUINS. 2 PHAT was narrowly defeated by JUGGLER in a crowd pleasing 2 minute
fight.
BUDDERCUP (60-5967) (40-36-0,170) of BUMS 'R' US fought SIR VILE (10-4754) (33-
31-1,140) of SIR AGLIO. BUDDERCUP was overpowered by SIR VILE in an exciting 2
minute one-sided match.
CREDIT LINE (82-1366) (5-18-0,164) of WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY fought CADDY
JACKKNIFE (11-4288) (24-12-0,159) of GERFEL'S FRIENDS. CREDIT LINE was bested by
CADDY JACKKNIFE in a 2 minute fight.
DIRT WORM (82-2315) (70-39-0,177) of VERMIN!! fought EXILE (7-4618) (28-23-
1,165) of BLADES OF ICE. DIRT WORM viciously subdued EXILE in a crowd pleasing 5
minute bloody bout.
SPUTTER (82-15095) (36-21-1,156) of JOKA MASHER fought FEAR (82-10416) (22-37-
1,124) of 4-LETTER ANXIETY. SPUTTER defeated FEAR in an action packed 3 minute
struggle.
DITCH RAT (82-15360) (28-30-3,162) of VERMIN! fought SHARON SHEW (101-25) (0-0-
0,181) of the College of Mimes. DITCH RAT was overcome by SHARON SHEW in a popular 2
minute gruesome conflict.
DELICE THE RED (56-3401) (55-58-2,185) of BAD APPLES fought SATOSHI KUNO (7-
5229) (29-21-0,187) of NINJAS. DELICE THE RED was subdued by SATOSHI KUNO in a crowd
pleasing 3 minute gory match.
TIME SQUARE (65-4637) (36-15-0,204) of BIG APPLE MENACE fought IPECAC (45-3625)
(30-19-0,173) of EMETICS. TIME SQUARE was devastated by IPECAC in a 1 minute
mismatched conflict.
MOD COD (55-2638) (58-83-2,211) of RHYME TYME fought FOUNTAINS OF WAYNE (98-809)
(26-18-4,207) of COLLEGE RADIO. MOD COD overpowered FOUNTAINS OF WAYNE in a 1 minute
one-sided match.
PRIZMATYK WAHL (73-4252) (22-13-2,88) of MAGIC MAYHEM challenged SIR OCCO (10-
5079) (26-15-0,98) of SIR AGLIO. Up 10. PRIZMATYK WAHL overcame SIR OCCO in a 1
minute Challenge bout.
LEFTISTS BLOW (3-6356) (19-3-2,60) of THE CONFUSED challenged BLACK EYE (60-
6163) (23-15-0,58) of JOKA MASHER! Down 2. LEFTISTS BLOW vanquished BLACK EYE in an
exciting 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
PINK BEAR (36-5883) (30-13-1,91) of LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... challenged BAD ACID
(21-5700) (19-6-0,78) of COSMIC FREAK OUT. Down 13. PINK BEAR won victory over BAD
ACID in an action packed 2 minute Challenge fight.
TOOFLESS (2-5103) (40-4-0,137) of GLORY BOUND TROLLS challenged HALLIE O'DENE
(58-6018) (54-72-0,153) of CIRQUE DU MASQUES. Up 16. TOOFLESS was viciously subdued
by HALLIE O'DENE in a 4 minute Challenge melee.
ELENA (63-2356) (21-7-0,170) of SITTIN' ON ACES challenged TICKLES (9-3486) (50-
70-1,192) of MY PETS. Up 22. ELENA devastated TICKLES in a 1 minute one-sided
Challenge competition.
NED THE JANITOR (66-2973) (26-28-0,180) of ANDORIAN UNIVERSITY challenged BECKY
(17-5782) (19-4-3,189) of BLADES OF STEEL. Up 9. NED THE JANITOR bested BECKY in a
2 minute Challenge match.
NUTMEG (7-5167) (27-17-1,174) of SUGAR AND SPICE challenged KAIDEN (35-3108)
(90-88-2,176) of VIOLENT FEMS. Up 2. NUTMEG was devastated by KAIDEN in a 1 minute
one-sided Challenge duel.
TUM (18-7380) (33-19-2,208) of FROM THE FACE challenged 50 SUCKS (60-4129) (76-
37-2,323) of JOKA MASHER! Up 115. (Quite insane.) TUM overpowered 50 SUCKS in a
crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
RAISON D'ETRE (7-5311) (27-17-3,181) of BATHTUB ARMADA challenged W.T. POOH (33-
4430) (73-54-0,182) of SNOTZI'S II. Up 1. RAISON D'ETRE savagely defeated W.T. POOH
in a crowd pleasing 3 minute Challenge duel.
A TV: EVIL ELMO (99-1222) (10-8-4,63) of TWISTED SESAME TV challenged QUIBBLE
(10-4756) (28-51-0,78) of QUBIT. Up 15. EVIL ELMO viciously subdued QUIBBLE in a
crowd pleasing 5 minute Challenge fight.
And for the title: JAKUCHU ITO (7-5102) (37-16-1,277) of NINJAS challenged MIME
(2-4966) (26-16-4,215) of HARLEQUINS. Down 62. JAKUCHU ITO subdued MIME in an
exciting 1 minute Challenge Title melee.
Olaf Modeen
CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
JAKUCHU ITO 7-5102 38 16 1 288 NINJAS (1060) BONSUR
GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
TUM 18-7380 34 19 2 239 FROM THE FACE (1265) TALCAMA
MOD COD 55-2638 59 83 2 225 RHYME TYME (449) KHALANI
GRAND CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
IPECAC 45-3625 31 19 0 208 EMETICS (1242) STORMCROWE
MIME 2-4966 26 17 4 201 HARLEQUINS (1186) NIANIA
RAISON D'ETRE 7-5311 28 17 3 200 BATHTUB ARMADA (1196) BONSUR
NED THE JANITOR 66-2973 27 28 0 199 ANDORIAN UNIVERSITY (1123) TARRGIR
50 SUCKS 60-4129 76 38 2 194 JOKA MASHER! (833) ARADI
-BIG COUNTRY 38-2765 41 27 3 194 DU BASHERS (657) CLIFFHOME
-AERYN SUN 10-4268 30 13 0 193 FARSCAPE (1277) KOLACT
SATOSHI KUNO 7-5229 30 21 0 192 NINJAS (1060) BONSUR
ELENA 63-2356 22 7 0 191 SITTIN' ON ACES (1302) AMEN-TEI
KAIDEN 35-3108 91 88 2 190 VIOLENT FEMS (972) MURSKA
FOUNTAINS OF WAYNE 98-809 26 19 4 190 COLLEGE RADIO (1223) SYVYN'S HILL
-BRICK 20-389 41 40 0 188 THE BLUES (1286) SEAM
DELICE THE RED 56-3401 55 59 2 186 BAD APPLES (1091) ROCANIS
DIRT WORM 82-2315 71 39 0 185 VERMIN!! (1124) DWES EG
GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
BECKY 17-5782 19 5 3 180 BLADES OF STEEL (1068) ALJAFIR
W.T. POOH 33-4430 73 55 0 179 SNOTZI'S II (813) NIYTYOLE ISLAND
TIME SQUARE 65-4637 36 16 0 179 BIG APPLE MENACE (836) DAL SHANG
HALLIE O'DENE 58-6018 55 72 0 175 CIRQUE DU MASQUES (1093) DELARQ TOR
TICKLES 9-3486 50 71 1 175 MY PETS (554) ZUKAL
EXILE 7-4618 28 24 1 174 BLADES OF ICE (162) BONSUR
SIR VILE 10-4754 34 31 1 170 SIR AGLIO (788) KOLACT
CADDY JACKKNIFE 11-4288 25 12 0 168 GERFEL'S FRIENDS (516) ARUAK CITY
EMILY 17-5753 35 21 0 166 BLADES OF STEEL (1068) ALJAFIR
NUTMEG 7-5167 27 18 1 166 SUGAR AND SPICE (1231) BONSUR
SPAZZ 33-6207 48 44 0 165 SNOTZI'S II (813) NIYTYOLE ISLAND
DITCH RAT 82-15360 28 31 3 165 VERMIN! (1267) DWES EG
CREDIT LINE 82-1366 5 19 0 160 WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY (1274 DWES EG
GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
SPUTTER 82-15095 37 21 1 158 JOKA MASHER (917) DWES EG
SABLE 2-4950 30 18 2 152 HARLEQUINS (1186) NIANIA
QUONSET 10-4990 34 24 0 151 QUBIT (1136) KOLACT
GRAND ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
JUGGLER 2-4965 26 18 0 150 HARLEQUINS (1186) NIANIA
BUDDERCUP 60-5967 40 37 0 146 BUMS 'R' US (1142) ARADI
BEER GOGGLES 33-6819 31 37 1 145 JOYS OF BOOZE (1209) NIYTYOLE ISLAND
ISHINOMORI 7-5390 34 12 1 142 NINJAS (1060) BONSUR
TOOFLESS 2-5103 40 5 0 137 GLORY BOUND TROLLS (1314) NIANIA
MORADOR 2-5089 34 13 1 134 RESURRECTION (1065) NIANIA
MASHER 60-4553 49 49 3 132 JOKA MASHER! (833) ARADI
-SIR NASTY ONE 38-2787 25 37 1 132 DU BASHERS (657) CLIFFHOME
2 PHAT 72-5064 25 8 1 132 VERMIN (771) DRAGONHEAD
FEAR 82-10416 22 38 1 132 4-LETTER ANXIETY (1271) DWES EG
ANGAR 10-4933 24 18 1 129 WAR HAWKS (1026) KOLACT
QUIETUS 10-5165 24 10 1 124 QUBIT (1136) KOLACT
RYRELEE 59-478 23 14 0 124 HARE CONTROL (1290) ILLIS
AEDON 7-4295 39 26 1 121 BLADES OF ICE (162) BONSUR
KONGOL 7-4524 35 26 2 120 BLADES OF ICE (162) BONSUR
RUTHLESS 15-4591 21 8 0 120 TRIPLE CROWN (990) MALCORN
THATDOGWILLBITEU 42-1981 23 32 1 110 SAUSAGE DOGS (1016) RODEKI
PINK BEAR 36-5883 31 13 1 101 LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... (1304 JHANS
GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
PRIZMATYK WAHL 73-4252 23 13 2 100 MAGIC MAYHEM (1298) ERINIKA
SIR OCCO 10-5079 26 16 0 91 SIR AGLIO (788) KOLACT
GRAND INITIATES W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
RIFT 12-3922 23 13 1 90 SPIRITUAL GIFT (791) RIZTAB
R IS FOR REPUGNANT 99-1155 12 8 4 89 GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME (1306) SOUTH RIDGE
CARRIE NATION 64-4054 46 83 0 88 REFORMERS (1095) KURUKAR
BAD ACID 21-5700 19 7 0 84 COSMIC FREAK OUT (1315) SUNSET
GUARDIAN 82-16527 11 7 0 83 RESSURRECTION (1309) DWES EG
HEART 97-1096 10 18 4 82 ORGANS ON THE SAND (1273) SHADOW GROVE
-SIR INGOMYELIC 10-5119 21 15 1 80 SIR AGLIO (788) KOLACT
EVIL ELMO 99-1222 11 8 4 79 TWISTED SESAME (1307) SOUTH RIDGE
-LAHRS ENNY 39-3400 20 17 0 77 CRIMINAL ELEMENT (1118) XOCHITHLAN
LEFTISTS BLOW 3-6356 20 3 2 76 THE CONFUSED (1313) OSKSI
NUTCRACKER 38-4380 19 14 1 75 ALL FINESSE (1236) CLIFFHOME
KOOKABURRA 33-4151 53 76 2 71 GIRL SCOUT COOKIES (812) NIYTYOLE ISLAND
PUTZ'N ALONG 60-5437 41 33 0 71 JOKA MASHER! (833) ARADI
QUIBBLE 10-4756 28 52 0 69 QUBIT (1136) KOLACT
MAN O' WAR 15-4517 26 16 1 60 TRIPLE CROWN (990) MALCORN
GAR & BRILL 38-4252 26 43 0 59 JUST BECAUSE (1228) CLIFFHOME
VALLISNERIA 30-3226 17 12 1 57 THE GREENHOUSE (1219) IAYE
-GENERAL PUBLIC 31-3112 14 14 1 57 MILITARY MAYHEM (133) CHIMLEVTAL
BLACK EYE 60-6163 23 16 0 54 JOKA MASHER! (833) ARADI
-SIR PENT 10-5089 20 17 1 54 SIR AGLIO (788) KOLACT
-PIYA 71-5625 8 4 0 50 THAI INQUISITION (1292) KYR'TERR
SKI MASK 58-5869 39 69 0 37 CIRQUE DU MASQUES (1093) DELARQ TOR
'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.
THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN
PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE
Elena -- Well, there's no doubt that sitting there on that ace, which must be a very
uncomfortable seat, makes you ready and willing to leap up and start swinging. --
Hallie O'Dene
P.S. I wonder, if I was to buy you a comfortable chair with a nice soft cushion....
Nutcracker -- You have been a BAD little girl! I don't want to see you playing with
THAT again, young lady. Mind you listen to me, now. Things will go badly for you if
you don't take advice from those older and wiser than you are. -- Carrie Nation
Jakuchu Ito -- It doesn't seem reasonable that someone as tall as you could be a
ninja. Or do you act as a distraction for your shorter and sneakier brethren? --
Delice the Red
Targen -- Oh, you think you can trick me, do you? Pretend to be a golem, and then
spring on me, catlike, and BITE? I will see you skinned for a rug, iron or no iron,
you despicable tiger! -- Ski Mask, Founder and President of Ducks With Swords
Well, I see none of my warriors are being chased out of here for excessive
competence. I don't know if I should be relieved or insulted. -- Ho-Chan
17 November 2004
Hammer 500-Hammer Run for the Roll Ups
Hosted by Hammer
Niytyole Island DM 33 has dwindled to the point where as of T-482 [duedate
November 3, 2004] there were only 2 active stables listed with 3 inactive stables in
a once thriving and lively regular arena.
During the past 40+ cycles Hammer has been hosting the Hammer Run for the Roll
Ups in DM 33.
Thus far only the Ripper and Slasher categories have produced winners to claim
the 5 New Team Roll Ups Prize for being the first declared Style Master of their
respective categories to graduate.
Every contending stable has gone inactive for one reason or another, including
CASINO HAMMERZ, over the past several months.
Now DM 33 faces the harsh reality that if RSI chooses to close any arenas due to
little or no interest, Niytyole Island could very well head the list of endangered
regular arenas!
In an effort to preserve his beloved island, Hammer is announcing the
continuation of the Hammer Run for the Roll Ups; combined with the Hammer 500 which
will conclude both contests on T-500 [duedate July 13, 2005] should DM 33 continue to
remain open in the coming months.
Attention Hammer Runners!
The Hammer Run is for 0 FE Basic Arena Warriors ONLY. Participants MUST Be
Declared in the P-ads On or Before their First DM 33 Basic Arena Fight to Qualify as
a Hammer Runner! Winners of Each Category will receive 5 New Team Roll Up Gift
Certificates mailed from RSI courtesy of Hammer! [On the condition that they
Graduate on or before T-500; see amended rules below!]
The following Style Master categories remain open with a listing of how many
declared contestants are still entered and their W/L recognition record at the time
of their disappearance from the Hammer Run competition:
(P-ad declarations in parenthesis)
[Manager name/Stable name in brackets] followed by their last known W/L
recognition ranking
Rippers Category Now Closed for Hammer Run as of T-475
01. WINNER T-475 Lucky Lady Hammer (T-440) [Hammer/Casino Hammerz] WINNER T-475
Lungers
01. Hey, Zeus! (T-443) [Prophet/When Dogma Fails] 14-15-0,73
02. Career Criminal (T-455) [Philthy Phil/Jailbirds] 3-2-0,14
Strikers
01. Stone Face Hammer (T-463) [Hammer/Casino Hammerz] 7-5-0,52
Pikers
01. Siren (T-442) [Street Legal/Of Mythos And Men] 0-0-0,0
02. Gordie (T-463) [Kellog/Pig Battalion] 3-2-0,21
03. Bluffing Hammer (T-463) [Hammer/Casino Hammerz] 6-6-0,25
Slashers Category Now Closed for Hammer Run as of T-469
01. WINNER T-469 Light Da' Pyre (T-443) [Prophet/When Dogma Fails] WINNER T-469
Total Parodys
01. Doctor Lecter (T-444) [Philthy Phil/Jailbirds] 13-1-0,84
02. Mirikle (T-447) [Dameon Darkheart/Obsidian Hall] ?-?-?,??
03. Maverick Hammer (T-465) [Hammer/Casino Hammerz] 6-6-0,26
Plungers
01. Piggy (T-455) [Kellog/Pig Battalion] 3-8-0,19
02. Cool Hand Hammer (T-463) [Hammer/Casino Hammerz] 7-5-0,48
Bashers
01. Repeat Offender (T-447) [Philthy Phil/Jailbirds] 6-5-2,33
02. Joe Friday (T-448) [Kellog/Pig Battalion] 8-8-1,47
03. Big Casino Hammer (T-476) [Hammer/Casino Hammerz] 0-0-0,0
Wastes
01. Luftschwein (T-452) [Kellog/Pig Battalion] 5-8-0,23
Aimers
01. Porkey LR (T-463) [Kellog/Pig Battalion] 2-3-0,9
As you can plainly see, the Hammer Run is still wide open in several categories,
depending upon whether or not the deactivated stables are reactivated for the Hammer
500-Hammer Run for the Roll Ups contest!
Any declared warrior who succeeds in graduating by T-500 will win 5 New Team
Roll Ups Gift Certificates mailed from RSI courtesy of Hammer! Gift Certs will be
awarded as soon as possible upon official graduation if the graduation occurs prior
to T-500.
On T-500 the highest ranked ACTIVE declared warrior in the category(s) without a
Graduate will win 2 New Team Roll Ups Gift Certificates mailed from RSI courtesy of
Hammer!
Additional Hammer 500-Hammer Run for the Roll Ups Gift Cert Prizes:
Five (5) Gift Certs will be awarded to the manager whose warrior claims the
Duelmaster Throne on T-500.
Two (2) Gift Certs will be awarded to the manager(s) whose warrior(s) are listed
as the highest Active Challenger Champion, Champion, Challenger Adept, Adept,
Challenger Initiate and Initiate on T-500.
In the event that NO Duelmaster is seated upon the Duelmaster Throne on T-500
there will be Three (3) Gift Certs awarded to the managers whose Active warriors are
tied for recognition points at the Top of the Challenger Champions recognition
standings. [Therefore, the Top CC will be awarded 3 Gift Certs instead of 2 for
being ranked as the highest CC on T-500].
One (1) Gift Cert will be awarded to the manager(s) whose warrior(s) graduate on
T-500.
One (1) Gift Cert will be awarded to the manager(s) whose warrior(s) receive
their graduation announcement on T-500.
One (1) Gift Cert will be awarded to the manager(s) whose warrior(s) are listed
in the Top Warrior Of Each Style newsletter announcement on T-500.
One (1) Gift Cert will be awarded to the manager whose warrior is listed as the
Chartered Recognition Leader on T-500.
One (1) Gift Cert will be awarded to the manager whose warrior is listed as the
Unchartered Recognition Leader on T-500.
One (1) Gift Cert will be awarded to the manager whose warrior is listed as the
Popularity Leader on T-500.
One (1) Gift Cert will be awarded to the manager whose warrior is listed as This
Week's Favorite on T-500.
One (1) Gift Cert will be awarded to the manager whose stable is listed as The
Current Top Team on T-500.
One (1) Gift Cert will be awarded to the manager whose stable is listed as the
Number One Team On The Move Point Gainer on T-500.
One (1) Gift Cert will be awarded to the manager whose stable is listed as the
Top Career Honors Chartered Team on T-500.
One (1) Gift Cert will be awarded to the manager whose stable is listed as the
Top Career Honors Unchartered Team on T-500.
SHOULD RSI CHOOSE TO CLOSE DM 33 PRIOR TO T-500 ONLY THE HIGHEST ACTIVE DECLARED
STYLE MASTER CONTESTANTS WILL BE AWARDED TWO (2) GIFT CERTS AND ALL OTHER PRIZE
CATEGORIES WILL BE DECLARED NULL AND VOID BY HAMMER!!!!!!!!!
The purpose of this contest is to restore DM 33 to a lively and entertaining
arena!
Hammer is willing to foot the Prize bill in a last ditch effort to save Niytyole
Island from deletion if RSI and the Gladiatorial Commission decide that more arenas
need to be closed due to lack of participation and interest.
Should this effort fail to spare DM 33 from deletion, then Hammer is prepared to
transfer CASINO HAMMERZ to another arena if Niytyole Island is closed by RSI and the
Gladiatorial Commission.
"May Your Blades Be Sharp and Your Wits Sharper!" -- Hammer/Your Hammer 500-
Hammer Run for the Roll Ups Host/Vendetta Cartel Captain; WordSmith and WeaponSmith
of the Vendetta Cartel Tarantula Tribe in DM 28
8 December 2004
Battle Royal 4
The Battle Royal arena contests are one of the purest tests of manager skill
available. The rules are simple. The scoring is simple. The updates are live. If
you would like to participate, simply get a team ready in Talcama in the next month
and announce in the personals that you're in. The prize is bragging rights and
having your name along side previous winners (Doc Steele, Manray Frothingslosh, and
Manager). It is a brutal contest, but it is a lot of fun!
Basic rules: No avoiding other contest teams. Score = Wins + Kills - Losses.
Only fights against other BR teams count. First team to 25 wins!
BR4 begins in Talcama (DM 18) on turn 502, due on Jan 29, 2005.
Visit http://www.geocities.com/assurnasir/br4 for more information.
8 December 2004
TURF WAR IV -- GRAND CONTEST NOTICE!
The Turf War IV Grand Contest will commence on Turn 221 (approx. February 22,
2005). For those who have never participated, Turf Wars are alliance-type contest
and Winner-Takes-All. There are no 2nd place winners!
Everyone may participate; known alliances, new alliances, or temporary alliances
created to compete in the Turf War! However, to participate, each alliance must:
A. Announce the alliance name and the Captain of the alliance in the North Fork
(DM #47) newsletter.
Captains are responsible for:
A. Verifying those who wish to participate under the banner of their alliance;
B. Distribution of prizes should their alliance win the TW4.
Managers must:
A. Submit one (1) RSI Roll-up Gift Certificate to participate;
B. Announce their intent to compete with manager name, team name and alliance
in which they will be fighting under, in the DM #47 North Fork newsletter.
Rules:
1. No scoring will begin until an RSI Roll-up Gift Certificate is received. No
exceptions will be made.
2. Before a manager can compete, he must be acknowledged and verified by the Captain
of the alliance he has claimed for;
A. The following turn, points will begin to be awarded or subtracted;
3. Only one (1) team per manager may compete. No multiple aliases please (we'll be
checking this and if caught...you'll be disqualified and no refund);
4. The contest will end on Turn 233 (12 turns!). Winners will be announced on Turn
234 and prizes sent to winning alliance between Turn 233 and 234.
5. No declarations will be acknowledged after Turn 231.
6. For the purpose of scoring, I reserve the right to make all final decisions.
Scoring: Win Lose Kill Die
Challenge +2 -2 +5 -5
Match-up +1 -1 +1 -5
Bloodfeud +2 -5 +5 -10
Champion x2 x2 x2 x2
Downchallenge +2 -5 +2 -10
Dark Arena +10 -5 xx xx
Special Scoring:
A. Each mention in the Spy Report is worth 5 points;
B. Each Style Master is worth 5 points;
Champions:
A. Champions may be declared, but are not mandatory. If declared, they must be
in the Adepts or lower brackets.
Bloodfeuds:
A. Bloodfeuds will count for all four turns. However, the same warrior may not
bloodfeud all four turns. A penalty of -10 will be given to the team who
violates this rule.
Special Conditions:
A. I reserve the right for all final decisions.
B. If I make a mistake, I'll multiply the points by 2;
C. If you claim I did, and *YOU* are wrong; I'll subtract points at the rate of
x10!
D. Each alliance begins with zero (0) points.
E. Dark Arena may be used on the first turn of every warrior with no penalty.
F. T.V.'s won after contest begins gain a Triple rate of scoring.
G. T.C.'s won after the contest begins gain a multiple of 10 scoring.
H. No switching alliances once verified by an alliance.
Any questions or concerns may be addressed (if you're incarcerated) to:
Baphomet, mgr. Knights Templar (268), DM #47 -- North Fork.
If you're in the free world: Rick Strigner Merit East
SCI P.O. Box 500
Georgetown, DE 19947-0500
P.S. Prizes are:
A. 100% of the roll-up certs
B. Currently under negotiations with R.S.I. for other prizes
C. A special prize from me that I will discuss with the Captain of the winning
alliance.
14 December 2004
The Company of Brothers Alliance would like to welcome Azereth as our newest member.
We are sure he will be an asset to both our alliance and the dueling community! --
Baphomet, Co-Found T.C.B.
LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS
EVIL ELMO viciously subdued QUIBBLE in a crowd pleasing 5 minute Challenge fight.
JAKUCHU ITO subdued MIME in a exciting 1 minute Challenge Title melee.
RAISON D'ETRE savagely defeated W.T. POOH in a crowd pleasing 3 minute Challenge duel.
TUM overpowered 50 SUCKS in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
NUTMEG was devastated by KAIDEN in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
NED THE JANITOR bested BECKY in a 2 minute Challenge match.
ELENA devastated TICKLES in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge competition.
TOOFLESS was viciously subdued by HALLIE O'DENE in a 4 minute Challenge melee.
PINK BEAR won victory over BAD ACID in a action packed 2 minute Challenge fight.
LEFTISTS BLOW vanquished BLACK EYE in a exciting 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
PRIZMATYK WAHL overcame SIR OCCO in a 1 minute Challenge bout.
MOD COD overpowered FOUNTAINS OF WAYNE in a 1 minute one-sided match.
TIME SQUARE was devastated by IPECAC in a 1 minute mismatched conflict.
DELICE THE RED was subdued by SATOSHI KUNO in a crowd pleasing 3 minute gory match.
DITCH RAT was overcome by SHARON SHEW in a popular 2 minute gruesome conflict.
SPUTTER defeated FEAR in a action packed 3 minute struggle.
DIRT WORM viciously subdued EXILE in a crowd pleasing 5 minute bloody bout.
CREDIT LINE was bested by CADDY JACKKNIFE in a 2 minute fight.
BUDDERCUP was overpowered by SIR VILE in a exciting 2 minute one-sided match.
2 PHAT was narrowly defeated by JUGGLER in a crowd pleasing 2 minute fight.
BEER GOGGLES was devastated by SPAZZ in a 1 minute one-sided contest.
EMILY overpowered MASHER in a popular 3 minute gruesome one-sided duel.
SABLE vanquished QUIETUS in a popular 1 minute mismatched fray.
RYRELEE subdued MARY ANN in a popular 4 minute fight.
MORADOR won victory over RUTHLESS in a popular 1 minute match.
AEDON was vanquished by QUONSET in a 1 minute brutal one-sided fight.
THATDOGWILLBITEU was vanquished by ANGAR in a action packed 1 minute uneven bout.
KONGOL was overpowered by ISHINOMORI in a 1 minute one-sided fray.
PUTZ'N ALONG was viciously subdued by CARRIE NATION in a exciting 5 minute gory duel.
KOOKABURRA was overpowered by RIFT in a 2 minute gory uneven duel.
VALLISNERIA was overpowered by HEART in a 1 minute one-sided match.
TARGEN was luckily beaten by R IS FOR REPUGNANT in a popular 3 minute one-sided bout.
MAN O' WAR was subdued by NUTCRACKER in a 2 minute contest.
GAR & BRILL lost to GUARDIAN in a crowd pleasing 1 minute fight.
SKI MASK was demolished by B&G BOUNCER in a exciting 1 minute mismatched match.
BATTLE REPORT
MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS
|FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK 21 PARRY-STRIKE 1 - 0 - 0 100 |
|WALL OF STEEL 12 PARRY-RIPOSTE 1 - 0 - 0 100 |
|AIMED BLOW 10 LUNGING ATTACK 103 - 75 - 2 58 |
|STRIKING ATTACK 7 WALL OF STEEL 60 - 49 - 1 55 |
|BASHING ATTACK 7 SLASHING ATTACK 25 - 23 - 0 52 |
|SLASHING ATTACK 5 TOTAL PARRY 29 - 27 - 0 52 |
|TOTAL PARRY 5 AIMED BLOW 45 - 46 - 0 49 |
|PARRY-LUNGE 1 PARRY-LUNGE 7 - 8 - 0 47 |
|PARRY-STRIKE 0 BASHING ATTACK 24 - 46 - 0 34 |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE 0 STRIKING ATTACK 23 - 45 - 1 34 |
Turn 391 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are:
AIMED BLOW 7 - 3 LUNGING ATTACK 10 - 11 5 LUNGING ATTACK
WALL OF STEEL 8 - 4 STRIKING ATTACK 2 - 5 2 WALL OF STEEL
SLASHING ATTACK 3 - 2 BASHING ATTACK 2 - 5 1 SLASHING ATTACK
TOTAL PARRY 1 - 4 1 AIMED BLOW
PARRY-LUNGE 0 - 1 1 TOTAL PARRY
PARRY-STRIKE 0 - 0 1 PARRY-LUNGE
PARRY-RIPOSTE 0 - 0
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE
FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME
LUNGING ATTACK JAKUCHU ITO 7-5102 38 16 1 288 NINJAS (1060)
SLASHING ATTACK MIME 2-4966 26 17 4 201 HARLEQUINS (1186)
AIMED BLOW NED THE JANITOR 66-2973 27 28 0 199 ANDORIAN UNIVERSITY (1123)
WALL OF STEEL 50 SUCKS 60-4129 76 38 2 194 JOKA MASHER! (833)
STRIKING ATTACK DELICE THE RED 56-3401 55 59 2 186 BAD APPLES (1091)
TOTAL PARRY DIRT WORM 82-2315 71 39 0 185 VERMIN!! (1124)
BASHING ATTACK TICKLES 9-3486 50 71 1 175 MY PETS (554)
PARRY-LUNGE THATDOGWILLBITEU 42-1981 23 32 1 110 SAUSAGE DOGS (1016)
The overall popularity leader is KAIDEN 35-3108. The most popular warrior this turn
was CARRIE NATION 64-4054. The ten other most popular fighters were HALLIE O'DENE
58-6018, RAISON D'ETRE 7-5311, MARY ANN 47-4378, SPUTTER 82-15095, EXILE 7-4618,
DELICE THE RED 56-3401, TARGEN 36-5783, EVIL ELMO 99-1222, BAD ACID 21-5700, and DIRT
WORM 82-2315.
The least popular fighter this week was VALLISNERIA 30-3226. The other ten least
popular fighters were KONGOL 7-4524, RUTHLESS 15-4591, QUIETUS 10-5165, TIME SQUARE
65-4637, FOUNTAINS OF WAYNE 98-809, TICKLES 9-3486, NUTMEG 7-5167, 50 SUCKS 60-4129,
KOOKABURRA 33-4151, and THATDOGWILLBITEU 42-1981.
Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K
NIANIA(2) 3 2 0 NIYTYOLE ISLAND(33) 1 3 0 ARADI(60) 0 5 0
OSKSI(3) 1 0 0 MURSKA(35) 1 0 0 AMEN-TEI(63) 1 0 0
BONSUR(7) 4 4 0 JHANS(36) 1 1 0 KURUKAR(64) 1 0 0
ZUKAL(9) 0 1 0 CLIFFHOME(38) 1 1 0 DAL SHANG(65) 0 1 0
KOLACT(10) 3 3 0 RODEKI(42) 0 1 0 TARRGIR(66) 1 0 0
ARUAK CITY(11) 1 0 0 STORMCROWE(45) 1 0 0 DRAGONHEAD(72) 0 1 0
RIZTAB(12) 1 0 0 NORTH FORK(47) 0 1 0 ERINIKA(73) 1 0 0
MALCORN(15) 0 2 0 KHALANI(55) 1 0 0 DWES EG(82) 3 3 0
ALJAFIR(17) 1 1 0 ROCANIS(56) 0 1 0 SHADOW GROVE(97) 1 0 0
TALCAMA(18) 1 0 0 DELARQ TOR(58) 1 1 0 SYVYN'S HILL(98) 0 1 0
SUNSET(21) 0 1 0 ILLIS(59) 1 0 0 SOUTH RIDGE(99) 2 0 0
IAYE(30) 0 1 0
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
MIME 2-4966 26 17 4 201 HARLEQUINS (1186) NIANIA
LEFTISTS BLOW 3-6356 20 3 2 76 THE CONFUSED (1313) OSKSI
JAKUCHU ITO 7-5102 38 16 1 288 NINJAS (1060) BONSUR
TICKLES 9-3486 50 71 1 175 MY PETS (554) ZUKAL
SIR VILE 10-4754 34 31 1 170 SIR AGLIO (788) KOLACT
CADDY JACKKNIFE 11-4288 25 12 0 168 GERFEL'S FRIENDS (516) ARUAK CITY
RIFT 12-3922 23 13 1 90 SPIRITUAL GIFT (791) RIZTAB
RUTHLESS 15-4591 21 8 0 120 TRIPLE CROWN (990) MALCORN
BECKY 17-5782 19 5 3 180 BLADES OF STEEL (1068) ALJAFIR
TUM 18-7380 34 19 2 239 FROM THE FACE (1265) TALCAMA
BAD ACID 21-5700 19 7 0 84 COSMIC FREAK OUT (1315) SUNSET
VALLISNERIA 30-3226 17 12 1 57 THE GREENHOUSE (1219) IAYE
W.T. POOH 33-4430 73 55 0 179 SNOTZI'S II (813) NIYTYOLE ISLAND
KAIDEN 35-3108 91 88 2 190 VIOLENT FEMS (972) MURSKA
PINK BEAR 36-5883 31 13 1 101 LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... (1304 JHANS
NUTCRACKER 38-4380 19 14 1 75 ALL FINESSE (1236) CLIFFHOME
THATDOGWILLBITEU 42-1981 23 32 1 110 SAUSAGE DOGS (1016) RODEKI
IPECAC 45-3625 31 19 0 208 EMETICS (1242) STORMCROWE
MOD COD 55-2638 59 83 2 225 RHYME TYME (449) KHALANI
DELICE THE RED 56-3401 55 59 2 186 BAD APPLES (1091) ROCANIS
HALLIE O'DENE 58-6018 55 72 0 175 CIRQUE DU MASQUES (1093) DELARQ TOR
RYRELEE 59-478 23 14 0 124 HARE CONTROL (1290) ILLIS
50 SUCKS 60-4129 76 38 2 194 JOKA MASHER! (833) ARADI
ELENA 63-2356 22 7 0 191 SITTIN' ON ACES (1302) AMEN-TEI
CARRIE NATION 64-4054 46 83 0 88 REFORMERS (1095) KURUKAR
TIME SQUARE 65-4637 36 16 0 179 BIG APPLE MENACE (836) DAL SHANG
NED THE JANITOR 66-2973 27 28 0 199 ANDORIAN UNIVERSITY (1123) TARRGIR
2 PHAT 72-5064 25 8 1 132 VERMIN (771) DRAGONHEAD
PRIZMATYK WAHL 73-4252 23 13 2 100 MAGIC MAYHEM (1298) ERINIKA
DIRT WORM 82-2315 71 39 0 185 VERMIN!! (1124) DWES EG
HEART 97-1096 10 18 4 82 ORGANS ON THE SAND (1273) SHADOW GROVE
FOUNTAINS OF WAYNE 98-809 26 19 4 190 COLLEGE RADIO (1223) SYVYN'S HILL
R IS FOR REPUGNANT 99-1155 12 8 4 89 GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME (1306) SOUTH RIDGE