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Date   : 02/09/2005    Duedate: 02/22/2005

HOME GUARD

DM-101    TURN-395

RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %  RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %
  1 GET OUTTA MY 18/1319  151   81  1 65.1      GERFEL'S FRIENDS 11/516               
    COSMIC FREAK OUT 21/1315                    SITTIN' ON ACES 63/1302               
    ARCANE BEACH DAY 98/1305                    ANDORIAN UNIVERSITY 66/1123           
  2 BLADES OF ICE 7/162   360  285  7 55.8      THE GREENHOUSE 30/1219                
    BLADES OF STEEL 17/1068                   9 ALL FINESSE 38/1236    76   74  1 50.7
  3 RAZOR GRACE 67/1327    35   29  0 54.7      BATHTUB ARMADA 7/1196                 
    FRAG 'EM ALL! 66/574                        SUGAR AND SPICE 7/1231                
    MYSTERY MACHINE 65/1326                     MANNEQUIN'S BEST 1/1227               
  4 THE CONFUSED 3/1313   261  218  3 54.5      CLEVER LINGO 46/1212                  
    LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... 36/1304             10 DARKMOON 12/1197       23   30  0 43.4
    RESURRECTION 2/1065                         THE WILD HUNT 69/844                  
  5 QUBIT 10/1136         894  749  9 54.4   11 VIOLENT FEMS 35/972   400  541  9 42.5
    JOKA MASHER! 60/833                         JUST BECAUSE 38/1228                  
    TRIPLE CROWN 15/990                      12 AVENGERS 31/1321        5    7  0 41.7
    KNOT WHOLE 2/1333                           LORDS OF CHAOS 20/1320                
    SPIRITUAL GIFT 12/791                       AS FAR AS SIAM 40/1323                
    SIR AGLIO 10/788                         13 REDHORSE 56/1325      137  197  1 41.0
    SNOTZI'S II 33/813                          MOSSRUNNERS 1/928                     
    VERMIN 72/771                            14 GLORY BOUND T 2/1314   21   32  1 39.6
    VERMIN! 82/1267                          15 MY PETS 9/554         484  747 12 39.3
  6 4-LETTER ANX 82/1271  278  246  1 53.1      RHYME TYME 55/449                     
    GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME 99/1306                  GIRL SCOUT COOKIES 33/812             
    ORGANS ON THE SAND 97/1273               16 REFORMERS 64/1095     456  771  4 37.2
    WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY 82/1274                CIRQUE DU MASQUES 58/1093             
  7-TWISTED SESA 99/1307  106  100  1 51.5      BAD APPLES 56/1091                    
  8 PUERCO'S PINA 53/700   98   95  0 50.8

    '##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id     '-'  Team did not fight this turn

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

     Greetings, warriors, or at least people, of HOME GUARD!  Once again I've been 
called out of retirement (ha!  Like anyone would let me retire!) for my abilities and 
insights into spy reporting.  (I just say that 'cause it sounds classy.  Actually, 
there isn't any ability or insight involved, other than being able to write clearly 
enough for the golems.)  What's with FIENDISH GLEE?  She actually beat THE 
GREENHOUSE's VALLISNERIA, and walked away with 38 more 
points from the fight.  Actually, she beat the plant with fiendish glee.  Laughs were 
big at REDHORSE while they watched HUMMINGBIRD clobber TYMARIS RAVENSWOOD.  Why was 
this amusing?  She lost 33 points and got bruised from objects thrown from the 
stands.  I wish someone would throw something GOOD, instead of just rocks and clocks 
and smelly socks.  I can barely restrain my enthusiam for VERMIN!'s outstanding 
member, Captain of the Guard DITCH RAT.  Actually, I'll see whether he writes a 
column and holds onto the title next time before I waste any enthusiasm on him.
     I suppose you want to hear some rumors and dirty gossip about your fellow 
fighters?  Tough!  First they gotta talk and reveal a little about themselves.  THEN, 
yes, rumors and gossip.  As it is, right now I have to make up the rumors and gossip 
myself, and that's hard work.  I hate hard work.
     Speaking of cowardly avoiders and unfair challenges, which I wasn't:  How well I 
know the feeling of being in the most avoided team!  Don't fall out of practive, 
MOSSRUNNERS!  Well, you can't, actually, because if no one ELSE will fight you, there 
are always the standbys.  Management must be dealin', as the boys at SITTIN' ON ACES 
ain't reelin'!  Odd, that.  If I had to sit on an ace, I would probably reel like 
anything.  MOSSRUNNERS' mad!  Why?  Better to be avoided than sought out.
     What do people see in RAISON D'ETRE?  His 30-19-3?  BATHTUB ARMADA ain't 
talkin', but he's got 192 points.  Actually, he doesn't need to talk, as his rank is 
posted in the newsletter and on the arena Action Board.  Maybe SITTIN' ON ACES' ELENA 
is one of those gals who likes pain, or something.  She is, after all, a gladiator.  
I've tried, and I tell you from long experience, the lot of a gladiator is pain and 
boredom.  That's what she'll get next week, after challenging up 28 to RAISON D'ETRE.  
ELENA did pretty good last week in beating RAISON D'ETRE to get 20 points.  Why did 
RAISON D'ETRE lose, you ask?  Simple:  he wasn't good enough.
     Fighting is a better craft than farming, R IS FOR REPUGNANT, but you have to pay 
your dues.  Being challenged by LEFTISTS BLOW, 21 points above you, is dues.  But not 
big dues, since you won.  LEFTISTS BLOW's gonna be practicin' hard this week, after R 
IS FOR REPUGNANT, lower ranked by far, mashed him!
     A fighter's lot is filled with strife, revenge, and killing.  (Actually, I would 
dispute that.  It seems to ME that a fighter's life is filled with practice, sessions 
in the Infirmary, and more practice.)  (And a really good binge now and then.)  Some 
fighters don't accept this.  The best do.  Many a warrior has met his fate in a 
hungover stupor.  You young rapscallions, take note!  If you're going to get killed, 
better to be hung over at the time, because you won't mind as much.

     Thirty-one fights, with only one standby in action.  Five challenge matches, but 
not for the title.  Two deaths.  The longest fight was a mere four minutes, which is 
disgusting, not long enough to take a decent nap, but there were two of them.  As 
though that makes up for it!  Bah.

     HUMMINGBIRD (56-3475) (21-21-0,40) of REDHORSE fought TYMARIS RAVENSWOOD (53-
5637) (22-24-0,85) of PUERCO'S PINATA.  HUMMINGBIRD demolished TYMARIS RAVENSWOOD in 
an exciting 1 minute one-sided fight.  Who let this Hummingbird go out with a pinata-
breaking stick?  That's not on the list of Approved Weapons.
     GAZELLE (56-3701) (19-10-0,54) of REDHORSE fought LAKE SAILOR (101-2) (0-0-0,30) 
of the College of Mimes.  GAZELLE was defeated by LAKE SAILOR in a 2 minute match.  
Ah, they don't make Lake Sailors like they used to.  I blame it on the Mimes.  What 
good is a sailor that can't swear and roar out indecent chanties?
     CARRIE NATION (64-4054) (47-85-0,61) of REFORMERS fought SPECTRUM (40-1666) (17-
13-4,38) of AS FAR AS SIAM.  CARRIE NATION overpowered SPECTRUM in a 1 minute uneven 
duel.  Rumor has it (even if I had to start the rumor myself) that Carrie found 
Spectrum to be drunk.  Easy meat.
     FRED (65-5333) (22-10-0,67) of MYSTERY MACHINE fought SKI MASK (58-5869) (40-71-
0,67) of CIRQUE DU MASQUES.  FRED handily defeated SKI MASK in a popular 2 minute 
one-sided duel.  And what Ski will have to say about this is no mystery at all.  
Defeated by a mammal!  The shame of it.
     BRIARTHORN (12-5671) (16-9-1,61) of DARKMOON fought BROKEN TOE (56-3683) (21-36-
1,64) of REDHORSE.  BRIARTHORN narrowly defeated BROKEN TOE in an exciting 2 minute 
fray.  Stabbed him full of stickers, no doubt.  Sounds like a good plan to me.

     MAN O' WAR (15-4517) (28-17-1,81) of TRIPLE CROWN fought CIARAN (1-7176) (18-11-
1,60) of MANNEQUIN'S BEST.  MAN O' WAR beat CIARAN in an action packed 2 minute duel.  
Well... maybe with more experience, Ciaran will live up to her taem name and be 
"best."  We'll see.
     KOOKABURRA (33-4151) (54-78-2,74) of GIRL SCOUT COOKIES fought CROOKED HOOF (56-
3493) (24-13-0,67) of REDHORSE.  KOOKABURRA overpowered CROOKED HOOF in a 1 minute 
uneven match.  And I should hope so!  Anyone knows that you can't expect much from a 
horse with a crooked hoof, even if the horse IS red.
     KI (31-165) (26-32-1,67) of AVENGERS fought NUTCRACKER (38-4380) (20-16-1,80) of 
ALL FINESSE.  KI overpowered NUTCRACKER in a popular 2 minute uneven fight.  Yeah, 
and where was the finesse in that, eh?  I didn't see any damned finesse.  Did you?
     VALLISNERIA (30-3226) (18-14-1,71) of THE GREENHOUSE fought FIENDISH GLEE (46-
1553) (16-10-4,62) of CLEVER LINGO.  VALLISNERIA was assassinated by FIENDISH GLEE in 
a 1 minute uneven fight.  Not only by, but with Fiendish Glee.  I gotta tell you, the 
phrase appeals to me, and I take my chuckles where I find 'em.
     BLACK EYE (60-6163) (25-17-0,93) of JOKA MASHER! fought MOOSE (56-3459) (15-15-
0,48) of REDHORSE.  BLACK EYE vanquished MOOSE in a popular 1 minute brutal 
mismatched fray.  Are moose, or is it meese, even in season right now?

     HEART (97-1096) (13-18-4,98) of ORGANS ON THE SAND fought GAR & BRILL (38-4252) 
(27-45-0,70) of JUST BECAUSE.  HEART demolished GAR & BRILL in a 1 minute uneven 
bout.  And here I was looking for shishkebabbed organs.  The brill was all hot and 
ready.  Oh, well.
     FEALOST (1-3916) (43-54-1,135) of MOSSRUNNERS fought RUTHLESS (15-4591) (21-11-
0,98) of TRIPLE CROWN.  FEALOST devastated RUTHLESS in an action packed 1 minute one-
sided bout.  I guess Ruthless was still carrying around too much ruth.  Can't have 
that in a gladiator.
     KONGOL (7-4524) (35-29-2,109) of BLADES OF ICE fought FEAR (82-10416) (23-40-
1,137) of 4-LETTER ANXIETY.  KONGOL was overcome by FEAR in a 2 minute competition.  
And what, I ask, did Kongol fear?  Was it perhaps that the heat of the battle would 
melt his icy sword?  Whatever, it was obviously a just fear.
     BROCMAIL (69-9348) (27-20-2,138) of THE WILD HUNT fought MORADOR (2-5089) (36-
14-1,147) of RESURRECTION.  BROCMAIL was savagely defeated by MORADOR in an exciting 
1 minute gory bout.  Somehow I've got an idea that there's more than one Morador 
about the place.  About the Isle, anyway.  Does that mean this was a case of ganging 
up?  Inquiring minds want to know.
     QUEEN AMAZONIA (12-4796) (30-37-1,127) of DARKMOON fought QUONSET (10-4990) (36-
25-0,146) of QUBIT.  QUEEN AMAZONIA was overpowered by QUONSET in a 1 minute one-
sided bout.  Hit on the head with a hut?  A sorry sight.  This is no way to treat a 
queen, you know.  Or even a princess.

     RIFT (12-3922) (26-13-1,168) of SPIRITUAL GIFT fought BATTLESTONE (66-2980) (28-
23-0,142) of FRAG 'EM ALL!.  RIFT was devastated by BATTLESTONE in a 1 minute 
mismatched brawl.  But what KIND of battlestone are we looking at here?  I've heard 
of a couple or three.  You know, monuments where battles were fought, or landmarks 
for a local dueling ground, or, in a rare case, a sort of nasty stone golem.  Rift, 
which was it?
     KAIDEN (35-3108) (92-90-2,151) of VIOLENT FEMS fought AEDON (7-4295) (40-28-
1,125) of BLADES OF ICE.  KAIDEN viciously subdued AEDON in an action packed 3 minute 
brutal duel.  Be warned, Kaiden isn't called "violent" for a joke.  It's only because 
the stewards are fast on their feet that she doesn't have more kills to her name.
     TICKLES (9-3486) (51-73-1,162) of MY PETS fought SIR OCCO (10-5079) (27-18-
0,131) of SIR AGLIO.  TICKLES overpowered SIR OCCO in a 1 minute one-sided duel.  
Ticklishness can be a real handicap.  Be sure your armor covers the vulnerable 
locations.
     2 PHAT (72-5064) (27-9-1,167) of VERMIN fought EXILE (7-4618) (30-25-1,173) of 
BLADES OF ICE.  2 PHAT viciously subdued EXILE in a crowd pleasing 2 minute bloody 
bout.  Despite this vicious subdual, we will hope that Exile hasn't been driven 
completely away.  We need every active gladiator we can get.
     CREDIT LINE (82-1366) (6-21-0,154) of WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY fought QUIETUS (10-
5165) (27-10-1,172) of QUBIT.  CREDIT LINE handily defeated QUIETUS in an exciting 1 
minute one-sided contest.  They do say that money talks, but credit carries a big 
stick.  Or something like that.

     BECKY (17-5782) (20-7-3,170) of BLADES OF STEEL fought HALLIE O'DENE (58-6018) 
(56-74-0,153) of CIRQUE DU MASQUES.  BECKY overpowered HALLIE O'DENE in a crowd 
pleasing 1 minute one-sided match.  Ah, Hallie should be ashamed of herself!
     BUCK (1-2291) (40-86-0,161) of MOSSRUNNERS fought MASHER (60-4553) (52-49-3,168) 
of JOKA MASHER!  BUCK was savagely defeated by MASHER in an action packed 4 minute 
gory match.  This probably happened because he was naked under his armor.  Oh, yeah, 
trust me, this used to be a big scandal, before we got some bigger ones.
     DELICE THE RED (56-3401) (56-61-2,182) of BAD APPLES fought MR. POTATO HEAD (20-
442) (26-19-0,154) of LORDS OF CHAOS.  DELICE THE RED vanquished MR. POTATO HEAD in 
an action packed 1 minute uneven fight.  And guess who's serving potato fritters to 
all and sundry tonight?
     SPAZZ (33-6207) (49-46-0,188) of SNOTZI'S II fought ARAC IRONFIST (67-1944) (24-
15-0,154) of RAZOR GRACE.  SPAZZ was handily defeated by ARAC IRONFIST in an action 
packed 1 minute uneven melee.  Or maybe it should be fistily defeated?
     CADDY JACKKNIFE (11-4288) (28-12-0,189) of GERFEL'S FRIENDS fought TOOFLESS (2-
5103) (42-6-0,159) of GLORY BOUND TROLLS.  CADDY JACKKNIFE was bested by TOOFLESS in 
a popular 4 minute competition.  That's got to smart.  This poor old toothless 
thing....

     Ah, the challenge matches.
     PLACES THE LOTION... (98-909) (9-12-5,62) of ARCANE BEACH DAY challenged PUTZ'N 
ALONG (60-5437) (42-35-0,55) of JOKA MASHER!  Down 7.  PLACES THE LOTION... 
overpowered PUTZ'N ALONG in a 2 minute one-sided Challenge fight.  But did NOT kill 
him, which I call a sign of great restraint.  On somebody's part, I won't say who.
     LEFTISTS BLOW (3-6356) (23-3-2,122) of THE CONFUSED challenged R IS FOR 
REPUGNANT (99-1155) (14-9-4,101) of GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME.  Down 21.  LEFTISTS BLOW was 
vanquished by R IS FOR REPUGNANT in a 1 minute Challenge brawl.  It's enough to make 
you wonder why anybody downchallenges, isn't it?
     PINK BEAR (36-5883) (33-14-1,113) of LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... challenged MOUNTAIN 
GOAT (56-3700) (26-27-3,109) of REDHORSE.  Down 4, here in Little Darkholm.  PINK 
BEAR subdued MOUNTAIN GOAT in a 2 minute Challenge fight.  Probably it was the shock.  
That bear is REALLY pink.
     ELENA (63-2356) (23-9-0,185) of SITTIN' ON ACES challenged RAISON D'ETRE (7-
5311) (30-18-3,213) of BATHTUB ARMADA.  Up 28.  ELENA subdued RAISON D'ETRE in a 2 
minute Challenge melee.  Is this, by any chance, Elena's raison?
     NED THE JANITOR (66-2973) (29-29-0,199) of ANDORIAN UNIVERSITY challenged LONE 
WOLF (31-162) (31-29-1,203) of AVENGERS.  Up 4.  NED THE JANITOR viciously subdued 
LONE WOLF in a 2 minute Challenge fight.  Swings a mean pushbroom, Ned does.

     And for the title:  MOD COD (55-2638) (62-83-2,275) of RHYME TYME fought DITCH 
RAT (82-15360) (29-33-3,184) of VERMIN!  MOD COD was slaughtered by DITCH RAT in an 
exciting 1 minute mismatched Title fight.  So it was a random match, at least it rid 
us of that smelly fish.  Congratulations to Ditch Rat, and my thanks.

                                        Olaf

CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD          W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 DITCH RAT 82-15360          30  33  4  248  VERMIN! (1267)             DWES EG

GRAND CHAMPIONS               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 NED THE JANITOR 66-2973     30  29  0  209  ANDORIAN UNIVERSITY (1123) TARRGIR
 ELENA 63-2356               24   9  0  205  SITTIN' ON ACES (1302)     AMEN-TEI
 LONE WOLF 31-162            31  30  1  195  AVENGERS (1321)            CHIMLEVTAL
 RAISON D'ETRE 7-5311        30  19  3  192  BATHTUB ARMADA (1196)      BONSUR
 DELICE THE RED 56-3401      57  61  2  190  BAD APPLES (1091)          ROCANIS
 TOOFLESS 2-5103             43   6  0  188  GLORY BOUND TROLLS (1314)  NIANIA
 ARAC IRONFIST 67-1944       25  15  0  186  RAZOR GRACE (1327)         BARIKALA
 CREDIT LINE 82-1366          7  21  0  183  WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY (1274 DWES EG
 MOD COD 55-2638             62  84  2  182  RHYME TYME (449)           KHALANI
 2 PHAT 72-5064              28   9  1  181  VERMIN (771)               DRAGONHEAD
 CADDY JACKKNIFE 11-4288     28  13  0  181  GERFEL'S FRIENDS (516)     ARUAK CITY

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-NUTMEG 7-5167               29  19  1  180  SUGAR AND SPICE (1231)     BONSUR
 BECKY 17-5782               21   7  3  177  BLADES OF STEEL (1068)     ALJAFIR
 MASHER 60-4553              53  49  3  174  JOKA MASHER! (833)         ARADI
 BATTLESTONE 66-2980         29  23  0  172  FRAG 'EM ALL! (574)        TARRGIR
 EXILE 7-4618                30  26  1  170  BLADES OF ICE (162)        BONSUR
 TICKLES 9-3486              52  73  1  169  MY PETS (554)              ZUKAL
-TALON 18-7782               31  11  1  168  GET OUTTA MY WAY (1319)    TALCAMA
 SPAZZ 33-6207               49  47  0  165  SNOTZI'S II (813)          NIYTYOLE ISLAND
 BUCK 1-2291                 40  87  0  160  MOSSRUNNERS (928)          MORDANT
 KAIDEN 35-3108              93  90  2  158  VIOLENT FEMS (972)         MURSKA
 MORADOR 2-5089              37  14  1  155  RESURRECTION (1065)        NIANIA
 QUIETUS 10-5165             27  11  1  153  QUBIT (1136)               KOLACT
 HALLIE O'DENE 58-6018       56  75  0  151  CIRQUE DU MASQUES (1093)   DELARQ TOR
 QUONSET 10-4990             37  25  0  151  QUBIT (1136)               KOLACT

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 MR. POTATO HEAD 20-442      26  20  0  151  LORDS OF CHAOS (1320)      SEAM

GRAND ADEPTS                  W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 RIFT 12-3922                26  14  1  147  SPIRITUAL GIFT (791)       RIZTAB
 FEALOST 1-3916              44  54  1  142  MOSSRUNNERS (928)          MORDANT
 BROCMAIL 69-9348            27  21  2  141  THE WILD HUNT (844)        CIMMERIAC
 FEAR 82-10416               24  40  1  139  4-LETTER ANXIETY (1271)    DWES EG
 R IS FOR REPUGNANT 99-1155  15   9  4  132  GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME (1306)  SOUTH RIDGE
 SIR OCCO 10-5079            27  19  0  129  SIR AGLIO (788)            KOLACT
 AEDON 7-4295                40  29  1  128  BLADES OF ICE (162)        BONSUR
 QUEEN AMAZONIA 12-4796      30  38  1  125  DARKMOON (1197)            RIZTAB
 PINK BEAR 36-5883           34  14  1  117  LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... (1304 JHANS
 KONGOL 7-4524               35  30  2  112  BLADES OF ICE (162)        BONSUR
 MOUNTAIN GOAT 56-3700       26  28  3  111  REDHORSE (1325)            ROCANIS
 LEFTISTS BLOW 3-6356        23   4  2  103  THE CONFUSED (1313)        OSKSI
 HEART 97-1096               14  18  4  101  ORGANS ON THE SAND (1273)  SHADOW GROVE

GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 FIENDISH GLEE 46-1553       17  10  5  100  CLEVER LINGO (1212)        ARDIVENT
-FORMIDABLE 2-5177           16   6  5  100  KNOT WHOLE (1333)          NIANIA
-BAD ACID 21-5700            21   7  1   97  COSMIC FREAK OUT (1315)    SUNSET
 RUTHLESS 15-4591            21  12  0   97  TRIPLE CROWN (990)         MALCORN
 BLACK EYE 60-6163           26  17  0   95  JOKA MASHER! (833)         ARADI

GRAND INITIATES               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 KI 31-165                   27  32  1   89  AVENGERS (1321)            CHIMLEVTAL
-FLAMING DRAMBUIE 59-2326    24  15  2   89  HANGOVERS (1153)           ILLIS
 KOOKABURRA 33-4151          55  78  2   88  GIRL SCOUT COOKIES (812)   NIYTYOLE ISLAND
 MAN O' WAR 15-4517          29  17  1   88  TRIPLE CROWN (990)         MALCORN
-QUIBBLE 10-4756             29  53  0   86  QUBIT (1136)               KOLACT
-EVIL ELMO 99-1222           13   9  4   83  TWISTED SESAME (1307)      SOUTH RIDGE
-MELANCHOLY 7-5319           18  10  1   82  BATHTUB ARMADA (1196)      BONSUR
 FRED 65-5333                23  10  0   78  MYSTERY MACHINE (1326)     DAL SHANG
 PLACES THE LOTION.. 98-909  10  12  5   77  ARCANE BEACH DAY (1305)    SYVYN'S HILL
 HUMMINGBIRD 56-3475         22  21  0   74  REDHORSE (1325)            ROCANIS
 BRIARTHORN 12-5671          17   9  1   69  DARKMOON (1197)            RIZTAB
 CARRIE NATION 64-4054       48  85  0   68  REFORMERS (1095)           KURUKAR
-ACE BAILEY 47-4948          14  15  0   68  ROYAL FLUSH (146)          NORTH FORK
 GAR & BRILL 38-4252         27  46  0   67  JUST BECAUSE (1228)        CLIFFHOME
 SKI MASK 58-5869            40  72  0   63  CIRQUE DU MASQUES (1093)   DELARQ TOR
 NUTCRACKER 38-4380          20  17  1   63  ALL FINESSE (1236)         CLIFFHOME
 CIARAN 1-7176               18  12  1   63  MANNEQUIN'S BEST (1227)    MORDANT
 BROKEN TOE 56-3683          21  37  1   62  REDHORSE (1325)            ROCANIS
 CROOKED HOOF 56-3493        24  14  0   59  REDHORSE (1325)            ROCANIS
 VALLISNERIA 30-3226         18  15  1   58  THE GREENHOUSE (1219)      IAYE
-GOOEYDUCK 1-7434            18   3  1   58  LAB EXPERIMENTS (1207)     MORDANT
-SLIPPERY NIPPLE 59-2323     16   4  1   53  HANGOVERS (1153)           ILLIS
 TYMARIS RAVENSWOOD 53-5637  22  25  0   52  PUERCO'S PINATA (700)      KHALHUMS
 MOOSE 56-3459               15  16  0   51  REDHORSE (1325)            ROCANIS
 PUTZ'N ALONG 60-5437        42  36  0   47  JOKA MASHER! (833)         ARADI
 GAZELLE 56-3701             19  11  0   37  REDHORSE (1325)            ROCANIS
 SPECTRUM 40-1666            17  14  4   34  AS FAR AS SIAM (1323)      ZENSU

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                    W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY              TURN
VALLISNERIA 30-3226        18  15  1 THE GREENHOUSE 1219    FIENDISH GLEE 46-1553  395
MOD COD 55-2638            62  84  2 RHYME TYME 449         DITCH RAT 82-15360     395

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

2 Phat -- I could have taught you more skills if you had not knocked me down.  Let
that be a lesson! -- Buck

Mr. Potato Head -- As you can see, I'm a very fine teacher.  You should fight me
again. -- Fealost

Pink Bear -- That was a closie, eh?  And thanks for the skill. -- Mountain Goat

R is for Repugnant -- That was a fierce fight!  Thought I had you, but then you
knocked me down.  Rolling around on the sand while you tried to stab me in the
head...oh man, I'm not sure Greywand's healers can even fix injuries like that, not
completely.  At least I managed to keep turning so they were only scalp wounds.
Scary fight. -- Crooked Hoof

Heart -- You're way fast.  But then you're a bloodgamer, right? -- Broken Toe

Man o'War -- The announcer called me an "animated warrior."  I'm a Total Parry.
Wonder what he meant by that. -- Gazelle

Ski Mask -- Thanks for the skills!  They'll come in very handy. -- Hummingbird

Gar & Brill -- What Hummingbird said.  Sucks to lose, but the skills are great.  You
sure are fast.  You were a blur, man. -- Moose

Greetings, Home Guard!  The glorious arena of Chimlevtal (31) is approaching its
250th cycle!  In our opinion, Chimlevtal is THE greatest and toughest arena on Ghea.
What we desire is for all managers who have ever run a team in Chimlevtal to return
and duel 5 warriors on turn #250.  If you have never had the privilege of managing
warriors on Chimlevtal's historic sands, we invite you to do so now.  (There are only
2 unchartered teams--free fights can be taken by the bold.)  Turn #249 is due
2/11/05.  Our goal is to have 30 teams with 150 warriors duel in Chimlevtal on turn
#250.  We ask you to join us in this historic event.  Salute! -- The Council of Lords

Caddy Jackknife -- (wincing)  You didn't need to peel me!  I'm not that kind of
apple. -- Delice the Red

Brocmail -- Wildness doesn't cut it in the arena, my friend. -- Hallie O'Dene

Hummingbird -- Deceitful mammal!  I thought, ah, at last, a female of my species, or
at least a related species, but was it so?  NO!  You're a damned MAMMAL just like all
the rest!  Well, I showed YOU what happens to a mammal who mocks the sacred order of
Birds! -- Ski Mask, Founder and President of Ducks With Swords

Who is this foul drunkard, Hermy, who thinks he can take all those skills from ME and
then throw them away because Standbys NEVER save skills?  I will have his guts for
garters! -- Carrie Nation

W.T. Pooh -- Ah, mead is it?  Foul stuff, by what I hear.  Very potent for destroying
the alertness and reflexes of a warrior! -- Carrie Nation
P.S.  So don't drink it, dummy.

12 January 2005
On Jhans turn number 476 (due on Feb. 16, 2005) the Second Annual kLk St. Valentine's
Massacre Kill Contest will begin.  The rules are simple; the team with the most kills
on the last turn wins.  Last year's winner was Shocking Toad.  Can he repeat?  Could
DOOMcorps crush all challengers?  Will the kLk prevail?  Or will you be the
independent manager to show that alliances aren't all that?  Come on to Jhans and
let's find out!
     Prizes are:  1st.  Renaming of a Dark Arena monster and five roll-up
                        certificates or $25.00 deposited in your account.
                  2nd.  Renaming of a Stand-In monster.
     Come on and celebrate the Delarquan way!
                                                                   Azrael

15 January 2005
     BR 4 is upon us!  First turn is due on 1/29/05.  Many thanks to RSI for helping
supply a great prize for the winner and those who meet the 90% endurance criteria.
     Winning prize:  6 months free play, a +1 bonus potion, a limited damage potion,
a favorites knowledge potion, a minor stat-switch prize, and renaming a Dark Arena
creature.
     Endurance prizes:  a +1 bonus potion to all teams that fight 90% of the possible
fights during the contest.
     For details, visit Talcama's newletter or
http://www.geocities.com/assurnasir/br4
     To join, simply bring a team to DM 18, announce your entry in the personals, and
follow the very simple rule of not avoiding!

31 January 2005
     My fellow duelists I come before you bearing a sad and unfortunate message.
Several months ago our group, the Vendetta Cartel, had lost contact with one of our
friends.  Since he was in contact or correspondence on an almost daily basis there
was concern amongst us.  With some research two of our members discovered why contact
was lost with him.
     On November 10, 2004, Richard Hammes was taken from us in a senseless act of
violence during a robbery attempt at a friend's store where he sometimes worked.  He
was watching the store so his friend could go home to tend to his son who had taken
ill.  You may have known Rich as Abarsis, The Slaughter Priest ; richh10 on the RT;
or gameogre on the Duel2 messageboard.  You may not have known that he spent 13 years
serving the United States in the Navy.
     Rich dearly loved this game and all it encompassed.  He may not have been the
best or most experienced manager but he loved to interact with others and was quick
to offer advice whenever anyone asked for help.  He was always kind and gracious and
tried to strengthen our game, often by helping new players feel welcome or give them
a chance to compete.  With his prolific posting I know that I am simply speaking the
obvious about what he did for our game.  Many, like me, were drawn to him, perhaps
for his kind nature or his sense of humor, and it appears he lived his life as he
played this game.  Always willing to help or do right by others.
     I realize that he had many friends outside the VC so I will include the link to
the news story in case any of his other friends would like to know more of what
happened.  We're all dealt a hand in life but it's not the strength of the hand
you're dealt but rather how you play it that really matters.  Rich played his hand to
the very best of his human ability and for this I admire him greatly.  I know we all
choose to like or dislike managers but I believe deep down we are all good and
decent, in this game, and will drop party (alliance) lines and will show the proper
respect.
     http://www.signonsandiego.com/uniontrib/20041112/news_7m12clerk.html
     Rich was taken from us all to soon and with so much left to offer the community
around him.  He spoke of a desire to run a contest on the Duel2 site which I hope to
uphold in his name.  Some of the people I have spoken with think it would be a nice
gesture to do one final good act in Rich's name, though it could never match what he
would've done within his community, for his community of San Diego.  I hope that with
this contest we might raise a little money to donate to an appropriate charity within
San Diego in his name.
     In conclusion I send a message to Rich:
     "Rich, though I'm sure you gathered this I never really told you how much I
admired you and what a friend I considered you.  I thank you for being my voice of
reason and always reminding me of why we both loved this game so much!  You have
taught me one final valuable lesson in learning more of you.  There are things far
more valuable in life than material possessions such as character and kindness.  That
nothing going on in your life means that you cannot find a way to be kind and giving
to others.  We always spoke of meeting someday and until we finally do know that you
will live on in with me and the rest of your brothers and sisters in the Cartel:
Master Darque, Kat, Bum, Sensei Jan, Maximillian, Hammer, Fizban, Firehawk, Phat
Phat.  You increased all of our enjoyment of this game, you were a true ambassador of
Duelmasters, and the game will not be quite the same without you.  A farewell battle
cry from the ZalCon:  'Confusion to our enemies'.  May your soul rest in peace, my
friend."
     Should anyone wish to correspond about Rich feel free to contact myself, or
anyone else within the Vendetta Cartel.
     Street Legal
     Jeff Bura
     The Death Squad(63) in Tobir or triumph1971@hotmail.com

31 January 2005
     Be it known throughout Alastari that Hammer is no longer a member of the
Vendetta Cartel alliance.
     A difference of opinion with another highly respected member of the VC due to my
recent vocal actions in DM 47 can only be resolved by my resignation from the VC as
of January 29, 2005.
     I leave of my own accord, in good standing with all members and with no hard
feelings towards anyone in the Vendetta Cartel.
     There was a time when I felt that my membership in the VC made the alliance
stronger.  I know that my resignation today makes the Vendetta Cartel a stronger
alliance with my absence. -- Hammer

1 February 2005
                           St. Valentine's Massacre update
My apologies, the Kill Contest starting on turn 476 in Jhans will run for 10 (ten)
turns ending on turn number 486.
                                                                   Azrael

5 February 2005
On behalf of the ILLUMINATI Confederation of Alliances (The kLk, CHAOS, Inc. and The
Company of Brothers) I would like to express our sympathies concerning the tragic
loss of Rich Hammes to both the DM community and to the real life world.  Surely our
loss has been Heaven's gain. -- Talon Darkhart, deeply sorrowful
                                kLk God of War, Illuminati Alliance, Puppetmaster

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

NED THE JANITOR viciously subdued LONE WOLF in a 2 minute Challenge fight.
ELENA subdued RAISON D'ETRE in a 2 minute Challenge melee.
PINK BEAR subdued MOUNTAIN GOAT in a 2 minute Challenge fight.
LEFTISTS BLOW was vanquished by R IS FOR REPUGNANT in a 1 minute Challenge brawl.
PLACES THE LOTION... overpowered PUTZ'N ALONG in a 2 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
MOD COD was slaughtered by DITCH RAT in a exciting 1 minute mismatched Title fight.
CADDY JACKKNIFE was bested by TOOFLESS in a popular 4 minute competition.
SPAZZ was handily defeated by ARAC IRONFIST in a action packed 1 minute uneven melee.
DELICE THE RED vanquished MR. POTATO HEAD in a action packed 1 minute uneven fight.
BUCK was savagely defeated by MASHER in a action packed 4 minute gory match.
BECKY overpowered HALLIE O'DENE in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided match.
CREDIT LINE handily defeated QUIETUS in a exciting 1 minute one-sided contest.
2 PHAT viciously subdued EXILE in a crowd pleasing 2 minute bloody bout.
TICKLES overpowered SIR OCCO in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
KAIDEN viciously subdued AEDON in a action packed 3 minute brutal duel.
RIFT was devastated by BATTLESTONE in a 1 minute mismatched brawl.
QUEEN AMAZONIA was overpowered by QUONSET in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
BROCMAIL was savagely defeated by MORADOR in a exciting 1 minute gory bout.
KONGOL was overcome by FEAR in a 2 minute competition.
FEALOST devastated RUTHLESS in a action packed 1 minute one-sided bout.
HEART demolished GAR & BRILL in a 1 minute uneven bout.
BLACK EYE vanquished MOOSE in a popular 1 minute brutal mismatched fray.
VALLISNERIA was assassinated by FIENDISH GLEE in a 1 minute uneven fight.
KI overpowered NUTCRACKER in a popular 2 minute uneven fight.
KOOKABURRA overpowered CROOKED HOOF in a 1 minute uneven match.
MAN O' WAR beat CIARAN in a action packed 2 minute duel.
BRIARTHORN narrowly defeated BROKEN TOE in a exciting 2 minute fray.
FRED handily defeated SKI MASK in a popular 2 minute one-sided duel.
CARRIE NATION overpowered SPECTRUM in a 1 minute uneven duel.
GAZELLE was defeated by LAKE SAILOR in a 2 minute match.
HUMMINGBIRD demolished TYMARIS RAVENSWOOD in a exciting 1 minute one-sided fight.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  15         PARRY-STRIKE       1 -   0 -  0     100  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   9         LUNGING ATTACK    96 -  69 -  4      58  |
|AIMED BLOW                       8         WALL OF STEEL     55 -  43 -  0      56  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  8         PARRY-LUNGE        6 -   6 -  0      50  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  7         AIMED BLOW        43 -  44 -  0      49  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    6         TOTAL PARRY       27 -  28 -  0      49  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      6         SLASHING ATTACK   27 -  28 -  0      49  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      1         BASHING ATTACK    27 -  45 -  1      38  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    1         STRIKING ATTACK   23 -  44 -  0      34  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     0         PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -   2 -  0      33  |

Turn 395 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  0     LUNGING ATTACK     6 -  9         4  LUNGING ATTACK 
AIMED BLOW         5 -  3     TOTAL PARRY        2 -  4         2  AIMED BLOW     
SLASHING ATTACK    4 -  3     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  0         2  STRIKING ATTACK
BASHING ATTACK     5 -  4     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  1         1  BASHING ATTACK 
STRIKING ATTACK    4 -  4                                       1  TOTAL PARRY    
WALL OF STEEL      3 -  3                                       1  SLASHING ATTACK

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
BASHING ATTACK   DITCH RAT 82-15360         30  33  4  248 VERMIN! (1267)
AIMED BLOW       NED THE JANITOR 66-2973    30  29  0  209 ANDORIAN UNIVERSITY (1123)
LUNGING ATTACK   ELENA 63-2356              24   9  0  205 SITTIN' ON ACES (1302)
STRIKING ATTACK  LONE WOLF 31-162           31  30  1  195 AVENGERS (1321)
TOTAL PARRY      TOOFLESS 2-5103            43   6  0  188 GLORY BOUND TROLLS (1314)
SLASHING ATTACK  ARAC IRONFIST 67-1944      25  15  0  186 RAZOR GRACE (1327)
WALL OF STEEL    CADDY JACKKNIFE 11-4288    28  13  0  181 GERFEL'S FRIENDS (516)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    MR. POTATO HEAD 20-442     26  20  0  151 LORDS OF CHAOS (1320)
PARRY-LUNGE      KI 31-165                  27  32  1   89 AVENGERS (1321)

The overall popularity leader is KAIDEN 35-3108.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was CADDY JACKKNIFE 11-4288.  The ten other most popular fighters were MASHER 
60-4553, 2 PHAT 72-5064, KAIDEN 35-3108, PLACES THE LOTION... 98-909, BROKEN TOE 
56-3683, MAN O' WAR 15-4517, NED THE JANITOR 66-2973, ARAC IRONFIST 67-1944, KI 
31-165, and SKI MASK 58-5869.

The least popular fighter this week was SPECTRUM 40-1666.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were CROOKED HOOF 56-3493, VALLISNERIA 30-3226, MOOSE 56-3459, GAR & 
BRILL 38-4252, QUEEN AMAZONIA 12-4796, RIFT 12-3922, SIR OCCO 10-5079, TYMARIS 
RAVENSWOOD 53-5637, GAZELLE 56-3701, and CIARAN 1-7176.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
MORDANT(1)           1  2 0  CHIMLEVTAL(31)       1  1 0  AMEN-TEI(63)         1  0 0  
NIANIA(2)            2  0 0  NIYTYOLE ISLAND(33)  1  1 0  KURUKAR(64)          1  0 0  
OSKSI(3)             0  1 0  MURSKA(35)           1  0 0  DAL SHANG(65)        1  0 0  
BONSUR(7)            0  4 0  JHANS(36)            1  0 0  TARRGIR(66)          2  0 0  
ZUKAL(9)             1  0 0  CLIFFHOME(38)        0  2 0  BARIKALA(67)         1  0 0  
KOLACT(10)           1  2 0  ZENSU(40)            0  1 0  CIMMERIAC(69)        0  1 0  
ARUAK CITY(11)       0  1 0  ARDIVENT(46)         1  0 1  DRAGONHEAD(72)       1  0 0  
RIZTAB(12)           1  2 0  KHALHUMS(53)         0  1 0  DWES EG(82)          3  0 1  
MALCORN(15)          1  1 0  KHALANI(55)          0  1 0  SHADOW GROVE(97)     1  0 0  
ALJAFIR(17)          1  0 0  ROCANIS(56)          2  5 0  SYVYN'S HILL(98)     1  0 0  
SEAM(20)             0  1 0  DELARQ TOR(58)       0  2 0  SOUTH RIDGE(99)      1  0 0  
IAYE(30)             0  1 0  ARADI(60)            2  1 0  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 BUCK 1-2291                 40  87  0  160  MOSSRUNNERS (928)          MORDANT
 TOOFLESS 2-5103             43   6  0  188  GLORY BOUND TROLLS (1314)  NIANIA
 LEFTISTS BLOW 3-6356        23   4  2  103  THE CONFUSED (1313)        OSKSI
 RAISON D'ETRE 7-5311        30  19  3  192  BATHTUB ARMADA (1196)      BONSUR
 TICKLES 9-3486              52  73  1  169  MY PETS (554)              ZUKAL
 QUIETUS 10-5165             27  11  1  153  QUBIT (1136)               KOLACT
 CADDY JACKKNIFE 11-4288     28  13  0  181  GERFEL'S FRIENDS (516)     ARUAK CITY
 RIFT 12-3922                26  14  1  147  SPIRITUAL GIFT (791)       RIZTAB
 RUTHLESS 15-4591            21  12  0   97  TRIPLE CROWN (990)         MALCORN
 BECKY 17-5782               21   7  3  177  BLADES OF STEEL (1068)     ALJAFIR
 MR. POTATO HEAD 20-442      26  20  0  151  LORDS OF CHAOS (1320)      SEAM
 VALLISNERIA 30-3226         18  15  1   58  THE GREENHOUSE (1219)      IAYE
 LONE WOLF 31-162            31  30  1  195  AVENGERS (1321)            CHIMLEVTAL
 SPAZZ 33-6207               49  47  0  165  SNOTZI'S II (813)          NIYTYOLE ISLAND
 KAIDEN 35-3108              93  90  2  158  VIOLENT FEMS (972)         MURSKA
 PINK BEAR 36-5883           34  14  1  117  LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... (1304 JHANS
 GAR & BRILL 38-4252         27  46  0   67  JUST BECAUSE (1228)        CLIFFHOME
 SPECTRUM 40-1666            17  14  4   34  AS FAR AS SIAM (1323)      ZENSU
 FIENDISH GLEE 46-1553       17  10  5  100  CLEVER LINGO (1212)        ARDIVENT
 TYMARIS RAVENSWOOD 53-5637  22  25  0   52  PUERCO'S PINATA (700)      KHALHUMS
 MOD COD 55-2638             62  84  2  182  RHYME TYME (449)           KHALANI
 DELICE THE RED 56-3401      57  61  2  190  BAD APPLES (1091)          ROCANIS
 HALLIE O'DENE 58-6018       56  75  0  151  CIRQUE DU MASQUES (1093)   DELARQ TOR
 MASHER 60-4553              53  49  3  174  JOKA MASHER! (833)         ARADI
 ELENA 63-2356               24   9  0  205  SITTIN' ON ACES (1302)     AMEN-TEI
 CARRIE NATION 64-4054       48  85  0   68  REFORMERS (1095)           KURUKAR
 FRED 65-5333                23  10  0   78  MYSTERY MACHINE (1326)     DAL SHANG
 NED THE JANITOR 66-2973     30  29  0  209  ANDORIAN UNIVERSITY (1123) TARRGIR
 ARAC IRONFIST 67-1944       25  15  0  186  RAZOR GRACE (1327)         BARIKALA
 BROCMAIL 69-9348            27  21  2  141  THE WILD HUNT (844)        CIMMERIAC
 2 PHAT 72-5064              28   9  1  181  VERMIN (771)               DRAGONHEAD
 DITCH RAT 82-15360          30  33  4  248  VERMIN! (1267)             DWES EG
 HEART 97-1096               14  18  4  101  ORGANS ON THE SAND (1273)  SHADOW GROVE
 PLACES THE LOTION.. 98-909  10  12  5   77  ARCANE BEACH DAY (1305)    SYVYN'S HILL
 R IS FOR REPUGNANT 99-1155  15   9  4  132  GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME (1306)  SOUTH RIDGE