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Date   : 02/23/2005    Duedate: 03/08/2005

HOME GUARD

DM-101    TURN-396

RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %  RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %
  1 GET OUTTA MY 18/1319  153   81  1 65.4      SITTIN' ON ACES 63/1302               
    ARCANE BEACH DAY 98/1305                    ANDORIAN UNIVERSITY 66/1123           
  2 TUFT TUGGERS 11/557   266  171  3 60.9      THE GREENHOUSE 30/1219                
    MANIACAL TUFTS 11/1147                   11 ALL FINESSE 38/1236    79   76  1 51.0
  3 BLADES OF ICE 7/162   362  287  7 55.8      BATHTUB ARMADA 7/1196                 
    BLADES OF STEEL 17/1068                     SUGAR AND SPICE 7/1231                
  4 RAZOR GRACE 67/1327    37   30  0 55.2      MANNEQUIN'S BEST 1/1227               
    MYSTERY MACHINE 65/1326                     CLEVER LINGO 46/1212                  
    FRAG 'EM ALL! 66/574                     12 THE WARLORDS 28/1335   32   32  1 50.0
  5 QUBIT 10/1136         904  751 10 54.6   13 AVENGERS 31/1321        7    9  0 43.8
    JOKA MASHER! 60/833                         LORDS OF CHAOS 20/1320                
    TRIPLE CROWN 15/990                         AS FAR AS SIAM 40/1323                
    KNOT WHOLE 2/1333                        14 DARKMOON 12/1197       24   32  0 42.9
    SIR AGLIO 10/788                            THE WILD HUNT 69/844                  
    SPIRITUAL GIFT 12/791                    15 VIOLENT FEMS 35/972   400  543  9 42.4
    SNOTZI'S II 33/813                          JUST BECAUSE 38/1228                  
    VERMIN! 82/1267                          16 HARE CONTROL 59/1290   50   70  0 41.7
    VERMIN 72/771                               LORDS OF DARKNESS 15/1318             
  6 THE CONFUSED 3/1313   261  221  3 54.1      UNEARTHLY PIMPS 41/1324               
    LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... 36/1304             17 REDHORSE 56/1325      140  202  1 40.9
    RESURRECTION 2/1065                         MOSSRUNNERS 1/928                     
  7 4-LETTER ANX 82/1271  279  249  1 52.8   18 BRETHREN OF  25/1334   22   33  1 40.0
    GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME 99/1306                  GLORY BOUND TROLLS 2/1314             
    ORGANS ON THE SAND 97/1273               19 MY PETS 9/554         487  747 13 39.5
    WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY 82/1274                RHYME TYME 55/449                     
  8 TWISTED SESA 99/1307  106  101  1 51.2      GIRL SCOUT COOKIES 33/812             
  9 ROYAL FLUSH 47/146    710  679 10 51.1   20 REFORMERS 64/1095     457  774  4 37.1
 10 PUERCO'S PINA 53/700  101   97  0 51.0      BAD APPLES 56/1091                    
    GERFEL'S FRIENDS 11/516                     CIRQUE DU MASQUES 58/1093             

    '##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id     '-'  Team did not fight this turn

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

     Snide Clemens has beauty rest?  I'd never have guessed.
     Sir Aglio was avoided by the Wild Hunt, and from what I hear, Sir Aglio should 
be glad of that.  Ski Mask got the most challenges, and yes, his ego is swelling, 
which is amazing considering the size it was to begin with.
     Thirty-eight fights, seven challenge matches (no tv), two deaths.  Things are 
getting something-or-other here, folks!  The longest fight was a mere seven minutes.  
They're not going to wake up the lions for a seven minute fight.  Oh, yeah, didn't 
you know the Commission has had a rush of exasperation to the head and threatened to 
send out the lions if the fights run too long?  They'll probably get over it, after 
all, arranging to lhave lions handy would be work!  But it's a sweet thought.  Only 
one standby fought, which is probably because of the rain.  It messes up their 
makeup.  And it's been raining a LOT.

     And with that stuff all said, here are the fights:
     PUTZ'N ALONG (60-5437) (42-36-0,47) of JOKA MASHER! fought CROOKED HOOF (56-
3493) (24-14-0,59) of REDHORSE.  PUTZ'N ALONG beat CROOKED HOOF in an exciting 3 
minute competition.  I know Crooked says it was his HORSE that actually had the bad 
hoof, but when you see him fight, you gotta wonder.
     AVALYNE WHYTE (11-3270) (17-15-1,78) of TUFT TUGGERS fought NUTCRACKER (38-4380) 
(20-17-1,63) of ALL FINESSE.  AVALYNE WHYTE vanquished NUTCRACKER in an action packed 
1 minute one-sided bout.  What a way to come out of retirement, eh?
     SEGALLION SUNDANCER (11-4600) (20-18-1,79) of TUFT TUGGERS fought BROKEN TOE 
(56-3683) (21-37-1,62) of REDHORSE.  SEGALLION SUNDANCER was demolished by BROKEN TOE 
in a 1 minute one-sided conflict.  Little did you know that he broke his toe kicking 
heiny.
     ANIJIA ALARA (11-4675) (14-9-0,51) of MANIACAL TUFTS fought ALARIC (28-3787) 
(16-7-0,55) of THE WARLORDS II.  ANIJIA ALARA overcame ALARIC in an exciting 1 minute 
fight.  What is this, a contest of the As?
     BRIARTHORN (12-5671) (17-9-1,69) of DARKMOON fought KI (31-165) (27-32-1,89) of 
AVENGERS.  BRIARTHORN was savagely defeated by KI in a 2 minute brutal struggle.  
It's those briars.  They'll get you every time.
     MOOSE (56-3459) (15-16-0,51) of REDHORSE fought BAYLEFYRE (25-4373) (11-2-0,35) 
of BRETHREN OF SIN.  MOOSE was vanquished by BAYLEFYRE in an exciting 1 minute 
mismatched fight.  This was exciting?  I would never have guessed.
     KOOKABURRA (33-4151) (55-78-2,88) of GIRL SCOUT COOKIES fought GAZELLE (56-3701) 
(19-11-0,37) of REDHORSE.  KOOKABURRA overcame GAZELLE in a crowd pleasing 3 minute 
match.  Cookie crumbs everywhere, but that's nothing to the fur that flew.  Er, 
gazelles do have fur, you know.  Or hair, anyway.
     MAN O' WAR (15-4517) (29-17-1,88) of TRIPLE CROWN fought SPECTRUM (40-1666) (17-
14-4,34) of AS FAR AS SIAM.  MAN O' WAR overpowered SPECTRUM in a 1 minute one-sided 
bout.  Chased Spectrum clear to Siam.  Wherever that is.
     PLACES THE LOTION... (98-909) (10-12-5,77) of ARCANE BEACH DAY fought ACE BAILEY 
(47-4948) (14-15-0,68) of ROYAL FLUSH.  PLACES THE LOTION... overpowered ACE BAILEY 
in a popular 1 minute one-sided match.  You gotta watch out for Places, he's a 
slippery character.
     EM (15-3737) (21-30-0,58) of LORDS OF DARKNESS fought FRED (65-5333) (23-10-
0,78) of MYSTERY MACHINE.  EM was overcome by FRED in a 1 minute fight.  I hate these 
two.  There isn't a lot of persiflage I can hang on names like those.  The team names 
aren't bad, I'll think about that angle for next time.  But, of course, if they wrote 
PERSONALS, it would help.
     BLACK EYE (60-6163) (26-17-0,95) of JOKA MASHER! fought ING (41-3532) (14-10-
1,47) of UNEARTHLY PIMPS.  BLACK EYE savagely defeated ING in a popular 3 minute 
gruesome fight.  And they say you can't win by a fist to the face?  Ha!
     FIENDISH GLEE (46-1553) (17-10-5,100) of CLEVER LINGO fought EVIL ELMO (99-1222) 
(13-9-4,83) of TWISTED SESAME.  FIENDISH GLEE viciously subdued EVIL ELMO in a crowd 
pleasing 2 minute gruesome bout.  I kinda like FG, though.  That's a name I can work 
with (in the absence of personals).  Assuming I don't put off writing this spy report 
till way late, which I did this time.
     JOHN LONGSHORE (11-4197) (22-26-0,92) of TUFT TUGGERS fought HUMMINGBIRD (56-
3475) (22-21-0,74) of REDHORSE.  JOHN LONGSHORE was savagely defeated by HUMMINGBIRD 
in an action packed 2 minute duel.  This was funny to watch.  Well, picture it 
yourself!
     RUTHLESS (15-4591) (21-12-0,97) of TRIPLE CROWN fought ZLATINA ANGUELOVA (11-
4856) (22-21-1,88) of TUFT TUGGERS.  RUTHLESS overpowered ZLATINA ANGUELOVA in a 2 
minute uneven match.  Nothing like being run over by a racehorse.
     QUEEN AMAZONIA (12-4796) (30-38-1,125) of DARKMOON fought HEART (97-1096) (14-
18-4,101) of ORGANS ON THE SAND.  QUEEN AMAZONIA overpowered HEART in a popular 1 
minute uneven fight.  I like it sliced, lightly breaded, and then pan-fried with 
bacon and onions, myself.
     R IS FOR REPUGNANT (99-1155) (15-9-4,132) of GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME fought RIFT (12-
3922) (26-14-1,147) of SPIRITUAL GIFT.  R IS FOR REPUGNANT subdued RIFT in a popular 
3 minute gruesome fight.  And a battle of the Rs here.
     KONGOL (7-4524) (35-30-2,112) of BLADES OF ICE fought SIR OCCO (10-5079) (27-19-
0,129) of SIR AGLIO.  KONGOL was vanquished by SIR OCCO in a popular 1 minute 
mismatched fray.  Everyone knows that ice melts in a hot wind.
     RYRELEE (59-478) (23-14-0,124) of HARE CONTROL fought PINK BEAR (36-5883) (34-
14-1,117) of LITTLE GIRLS LIKE....  RYRELEE viciously subdued PINK BEAR in a popular 
6 minute gruesome match.  But everybody else hates pink bears.
     FEALOST (1-3916) (44-54-1,142) of MOSSRUNNERS fought AEDON (7-4295) (40-29-
1,128) of BLADES OF ICE.  FEALOST was bested by AEDON in a popular 3 minute gory 
contest.  And was Fealost chilled by that icy blade?  Tune in next cycle and see!
     MASHER (60-4553) (53-49-3,174) of JOKA MASHER! fought FEAR (82-10416) (24-40-
1,139) of 4-LETTER ANXIETY.  MASHER beat FEAR in a crowd pleasing 2 minute fight.  
Many gladiators overcome fear.  I like to see that.
     BATTLESTONE (66-2980) (29-23-0,172) of FRAG 'EM ALL! fought MOUNTAIN GOAT (56-
3700) (26-28-3,111) of REDHORSE.  BATTLESTONE demolished MOUNTAIN GOAT in a 1 minute 
one-sided bout.  Squashed him flat.
     SPAZZ (33-6207) (49-47-0,165) of SNOTZI'S II fought HALLIE O'DENE (58-6018) (56-
75-0,151) of CIRQUE DU MASQUES.  SPAZZ viciously subdued HALLIE O'DENE in a popular 2 
minute brutal brawl.  You realize that to attack an aimer with spazz is a horrible 
thing to do?
     TICKLES (9-3486) (52-73-1,169) of MY PETS fought KAIDEN (35-3108) (93-90-2,158) 
of VIOLENT FEMS.  TICKLES vanquished KAIDEN in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided 
fray.  Who would have thought that violent lady was ticklish?
     EXILE (7-4618) (30-26-1,170) of BLADES OF ICE fought QUONSET (10-4990) (37-25-
0,151) of QUBIT.  EXILE was overpowered by QUONSET in a 2 minute bloody one-sided 
duel.  Does this mean that Exile is forced to return home?
     BUCK (1-2291) (40-87-0,160) of MOSSRUNNERS fought LEFTISTS BLOW (3-6356) (23-4-
2,103) of THE CONFUSED.  BUCK [Naked He] outwaited LEFTISTS BLOW in a crowd pleasing 
7 minute bloody bout.  Oh yes, trust me on this, Buck used to fight that way.  We 
make him wear armor now, but he's usually naked underneath.  Talk about chaffing!
     ELENA (63-2356) (24-9-0,205) of SITTIN' ON ACES fought DELICE THE RED (56-3401) 
(57-61-2,190) of BAD APPLES.  ELENA handily defeated DELICE THE RED in an exciting 1 
minute one-sided contest.  Peeled the apple, in fact.
     NED THE JANITOR (66-2973) (30-29-0,209) of ANDORIAN UNIVERSITY fought MORADOR 
(2-5089) (37-14-1,155) of RESURRECTION.  NED THE JANITOR subdued MORADOR in a 1 
minute competition.  Have we not said it before?  Ned is deadly, or at least very 
dangerous, with that pushbroom.
     ARAC IRONFIST (67-1944) (25-15-0,186) of RAZOR GRACE fought BATTLING BOB (101-
26) (0-0-0,200) of the College of Mimes.  ARAC IRONFIST was viciously subdued by 
BATTLING BOB in a popular 2 minute brutal bout.  And the mimes that do make it out in 
the rain are in a mean mood.
     2 PHAT (72-5064) (28-9-1,181) of VERMIN fought BECKY (17-5782) (21-7-3,177) of 
BLADES OF STEEL.  2 PHAT was overpowered by BECKY in a 1 minute one-sided fight.  The 
exercise regimen, no doubt.
     CADDY JACKKNIFE (11-4288) (28-13-0,181) of GERFEL'S FRIENDS fought QUIETUS (10-
5165) (27-11-1,153) of QUBIT.  CADDY JACKKNIFE was viciously subdued by QUIETUS in an 
action packed 2 minute fight.  Well, what can you expect?  A jackknife isn't much of 
a blade to bring into the arena.

     Ah, the challenges.  VALLISNERIA (30-3226) (18-15-1,58) of THE GREENHOUSE 
challenged SKI MASK (58-5869) (40-72-0,63) of CIRQUE DU MASQUES.  Up 5.  VALLISNERIA 
devastated SKI MASK in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge competition.  Duck soup at the 
Greenhouse tonight.
     CIARAN (1-7176) (18-12-1,63) of MANNEQUIN'S BEST challenged GAR & BRILL (38-
4252) (27-46-0,67) of JUST BECAUSE.  Up 4.  CIARAN defeated GAR & BRILL in an 
exciting 3 minute Challenge struggle.  He or she cleaned that brill like nobody's 
business.
     TYMARIS RAVENSWOOD (53-5637) (22-25-0,52) of PUERCO'S PINATA challenged CARRIE 
NATION (64-4054) (48-85-0,68) of REFORMERS.  Up 16.  TYMARIS RAVENSWOOD was 
devastated by CARRIE NATION in a 1 minute Challenge brawl.  I'm sure Carrie will 
point out the unwisdom of drinking wine before a fight.
     BROCMAIL (69-9348) (27-21-2,141) of THE WILD HUNT challenged MR. POTATO HEAD 
(20-442) (26-20-0,151) of LORDS OF CHAOS.  Up 10.  BROCMAIL was defeated by MR. 
POTATO HEAD in a 2 minute brutal Challenge fight.  Buried under a half-ton of fries!
     NUTMEG (7-5167) (29-19-1,180) of SUGAR AND SPICE challenged MOD COD (55-2638) 
(62-84-2,182) of RHYME TYME.  Up 2.  NUTMEG was assassinated by MOD COD in a 1 minute 
mismatched Challenge duel.  Bad move, Nutmeg.  Ah, you noticed?
     TALON (18-7782) (31-11-1,168) of GET OUTTA MY WAY challenged TOOFLESS (2-5103) 
(43-6-0,188) of GLORY BOUND TROLLS.  Up 20.  TALON subdued TOOFLESS in an exciting 3 
minute Challenge melee.  But wait till the troll puts his teeth in!  He's being 
measured for dentures, you know.
     RAISON D'ETRE (7-5311) (30-19-3,192) of BATHTUB ARMADA challenged LONE WOLF (31-
162) (31-30-1,195) of AVENGERS.  Up 3.  RAISON D'ETRE viciously subdued LONE WOLF in 
a 2 minute Challenge fight.  You'll notice how nobody ever calls themselves Pack 
Wolves?  And yet, those are the normal ones.

     And for the title, a random match, but very decisive.  DITCH RAT (82-15360) (30-
33-4,248) of VERMIN! fought CREDIT LINE (82-1366) (7-21-0,183) of WOMEN LOVE ME FOR 
MY.  DITCH RAT slaughtered CREDIT LINE in a 1 minute uneven Title duel.  So much for 
that Credit Line.

                                        Olaf

CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD          W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 DITCH RAT 82-15360          31  33  5  255  VERMIN! (1267)             DWES EG

GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 MOD COD 55-2638             63  84  3  233  RHYME TYME (449)           KHALANI
 NED THE JANITOR 66-2973     31  29  0  215  ANDORIAN UNIVERSITY (1123) TARRGIR
 ELENA 63-2356               25   9  0  213  SITTIN' ON ACES (1302)     AMEN-TEI

GRAND CHAMPIONS               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 TALON 18-7782               32  11  1  205  GET OUTTA MY WAY (1319)    TALCAMA
 RAISON D'ETRE 7-5311        31  19  3  203  BATHTUB ARMADA (1196)      BONSUR
 BECKY 17-5782               22   7  3  199  BLADES OF STEEL (1068)     ALJAFIR
 LONE WOLF 31-162            31  31  1  191  AVENGERS (1321)            CHIMLEVTAL
 DELICE THE RED 56-3401      57  62  2  187  BAD APPLES (1091)          ROCANIS
 ARAC IRONFIST 67-1944       25  16  0  186  RAZOR GRACE (1327)         BARIKALA
 QUIETUS 10-5165             28  11  1  183  QUBIT (1136)               KOLACT

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 TICKLES 9-3486              53  73  1  179  MY PETS (554)              ZUKAL
 TOOFLESS 2-5103             43   7  0  178  GLORY BOUND TROLLS (1314)  NIANIA
 CREDIT LINE 82-1366          7  22  0  177  WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY (1274 DWES EG
 MASHER 60-4553              54  49  3  176  JOKA MASHER! (833)         ARADI
 QUONSET 10-4990             38  25  0  174  QUBIT (1136)               KOLACT
 BATTLESTONE 66-2980         30  23  0  174  FRAG 'EM ALL! (574)        TARRGIR
 2 PHAT 72-5064              28  10  1  173  VERMIN (771)               DRAGONHEAD
 NUTMEG 7-5167               29  20  1  171  SUGAR AND SPICE (1231)     BONSUR
 SPAZZ 33-6207               50  47  0  169  SNOTZI'S II (813)          NIYTYOLE ISLAND
 CADDY JACKKNIFE 11-4288     28  14  0  167  GERFEL'S FRIENDS (516)     ARUAK CITY
 BUCK 1-2291                 41  87  0  164  MOSSRUNNERS (928)          MORDANT
 MORADOR 2-5089              37  15  1  162  RESURRECTION (1065)        NIANIA
 MR. POTATO HEAD 20-442      27  20  0  157  LORDS OF CHAOS (1320)      SEAM
 EXILE 7-4618                30  27  1  153  BLADES OF ICE (162)        BONSUR
 HALLIE O'DENE 58-6018       56  76  0  152  CIRQUE DU MASQUES (1093)   DELARQ TOR
 R IS FOR REPUGNANT 99-1155  16   9  4  152  GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME (1306)  SOUTH RIDGE
 KAIDEN 35-3108              93  91  2  151  VIOLENT FEMS (972)         MURSKA

GRAND ADEPTS                  W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 FEAR 82-10416               24  41  1  144  4-LETTER ANXIETY (1271)    DWES EG
 AEDON 7-4295                41  29  1  141  BLADES OF ICE (162)        BONSUR
 BROCMAIL 69-9348            27  22  2  141  THE WILD HUNT (844)        CIMMERIAC
 RYRELEE 59-478              24  14  0  140  HARE CONTROL (1290)        ILLIS
 SIR OCCO 10-5079            28  19  0  139  SIR AGLIO (788)            KOLACT
 RIFT 12-3922                26  15  1  139  SPIRITUAL GIFT (791)       RIZTAB
 FEALOST 1-3916              44  55  1  136  MOSSRUNNERS (928)          MORDANT
 QUEEN AMAZONIA 12-4796      31  38  1  130  DARKMOON (1197)            RIZTAB
 PINK BEAR 36-5883           34  15  1  120  LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... (1304 JHANS
 MOUNTAIN GOAT 56-3700       26  29  3  118  REDHORSE (1325)            ROCANIS
 LEFTISTS BLOW 3-6356        23   5  2  115  THE CONFUSED (1313)        OSKSI
 KONGOL 7-4524               35  31  2  108  BLADES OF ICE (162)        BONSUR
 RUTHLESS 15-4591            22  12  0  107  TRIPLE CROWN (990)         MALCORN

GRAND ADEPTS                  W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 FIENDISH GLEE 46-1553       18  10  5  106  CLEVER LINGO (1212)        ARDIVENT

GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-FORMIDABLE 2-5177           16   6  5  100  KNOT WHOLE (1333)          NIANIA
 BLACK EYE 60-6163           27  17  0   97  JOKA MASHER! (833)         ARADI
 HEART 97-1096               14  19  4   97  ORGANS ON THE SAND (1273)  SHADOW GROVE
 KI 31-165                   28  32  1   94  AVENGERS (1321)            CHIMLEVTAL
 HUMMINGBIRD 56-3475         23  21  0   91  REDHORSE (1325)            ROCANIS

GRAND INITIATES               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 KOOKABURRA 33-4151          56  78  2   90  GIRL SCOUT COOKIES (812)   NIYTYOLE ISLAND
 MAN O' WAR 15-4517          30  17  1   90  TRIPLE CROWN (990)         MALCORN
 AVALYNE WHYTE 11-3270       18  15  1   87  TUFT TUGGERS (557)         ARUAK CITY
 PLACES THE LOTION.. 98-909  11  12  5   86  ARCANE BEACH DAY (1305)    SYVYN'S HILL
 EVIL ELMO 99-1222           13  10  4   84  TWISTED SESAME (1307)      SOUTH RIDGE
 ZLATINA ANGUELOVA 11-4856   22  22  1   83  TUFT TUGGERS (557)         ARUAK CITY
 BROKEN TOE 56-3683          22  37  1   83  REDHORSE (1325)            ROCANIS
-RAY D AYTOR 28-2965         19  24  0   81  OTTO'S MECHANICS (1073)    MORYA
 FRED 65-5333                24  10  0   80  MYSTERY MACHINE (1326)     DAL SHANG
 JOHN LONGSHORE 11-4197      22  27  0   79  TUFT TUGGERS (557)         ARUAK CITY
 CARRIE NATION 64-4054       49  85  0   75  REFORMERS (1095)           KURUKAR
 CIARAN 1-7176               19  12  1   73  MANNEQUIN'S BEST (1227)    MORDANT
 VALLISNERIA 30-3226         19  15  1   72  THE GREENHOUSE (1219)      IAYE
 BRIARTHORN 12-5671          17  10  1   69  DARKMOON (1197)            RIZTAB
 PUTZ'N ALONG 60-5437        43  36  0   64  JOKA MASHER! (833)         ARADI
 ANIJIA ALARA 11-4675        15   9  0   64  MANIACAL TUFTS (1147)      ARUAK CITY
 GAR & BRILL 38-4252         27  47  0   63  JUST BECAUSE (1228)        CLIFFHOME
 EM 15-3737                  21  31  0   62  LORDS OF DARKNESS (1318)   MALCORN
-SCARBOROUGH 14-3941         17  11  0   62  FRAG 'EM ALL! (1332)       TOBIR
 SEGALLION SUNDANCE 11-4600  20  19  1   60  TUFT TUGGERS (557)         ARUAK CITY
 ACE BAILEY 47-4948          14  16  0   60  ROYAL FLUSH (146)          NORTH FORK
 NUTCRACKER 38-4380          20  18  1   58  ALL FINESSE (1236)         CLIFFHOME
 ING 41-3532                 14  11  1   58  UNEARTHLY PIMPS (1324)     KATI-TEI
 BAYLEFYRE 25-4373           12   2  0   54  BRETHREN OF SIN (1334)     LYRATILAN
 CROOKED HOOF 56-3493        24  15  0   53  REDHORSE (1325)            ROCANIS
-AEGLOS 1-7468               16   2  2   52  SWEORDMASTERS (1210)       MORDANT
 SKI MASK 58-5869            40  73  0   51  CIRQUE DU MASQUES (1093)   DELARQ TOR
 ALARIC 28-3787              16   8  0   50  THE WARLORDS II (1335)     MORYA
 TYMARIS RAVENSWOOD 53-5637  22  26  0   46  PUERCO'S PINATA (700)      KHALHUMS
 GAZELLE 56-3701             19  12  0   45  REDHORSE (1325)            ROCANIS
 SPECTRUM 40-1666            17  15  4   41  AS FAR AS SIAM (1323)      ZENSU
 MOOSE 56-3459               15  17  0   36  REDHORSE (1325)            ROCANIS

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                    W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY              TURN
NUTMEG 7-5167              29  20  1 SUGAR AND SPICE 1231   MOD COD 55-2638        396
CREDIT LINE 82-1366         7  22  0 WOMEN LOVE ME FOR 1274 DITCH RAT 82-15360     396

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

Hallie O'Dene -- You know, considering whoever is running you guys these days posts
most of the ads in Home Guard, you actually had a bit of a decent verbal turn out
last turn.  However, things are going to change.  I'm taking charge again. -- Tankesh

All -- Ok, I have returned to MY arena.  Yes, I may manage in others, but I claim the
arena of puds, and win.  You'll be seeing me in the ads.  Feel free to think you can
take me down, but I won't ever think you've got a chance if you don't speak up.
Which is of course part of the purpose of my rambling.  Get used to it!  Time to
breathe a bit of life back into Home Guard.  It's been getting more quiet and further
in the dumps since I left. -- Tankesh, Mgr. Tuft Tuggers

Council of Lords -- Ok, I'll try not to sound too prejudiced here.  I can understand
one's affection for home arenas.  I can understand wanting to celebrate a benchmark
turn.  I can also understand wanting to boost them up.  But I must argue that
OBVIOUSLY it isn't the BEST arena if you NEED more teams.  Not to mention the fact
that THE best arena is Aruak City.  Don't get me wrong, I'm sure yours is great,
maybe second best?  I wouldn't know.  Sorry, I don't have any teams there. -- Tankesh

All -- Ignore Tankesh.  We've learned to. -- Tuft Tugger team members
P.S.  Ok, don't ignore him, but don't take him too seriously.

Puerco -- Howdy!  How's the mushroom farm? -- Tankesh 

Pink Bear -- You'd think somebody named after a goat could take a few head hits, but
not me.  I see quadruple. -- Mountain Goat

Masher -- Wow.  They said you were pathetic.  They didn't say I was pathetic.  And I
learned four skills and got a rating.  That was the best day of my life. -- Buck

We were the most avoided?  Wowee! -- Buck

Ruthless -- It looks like you might need to collect up a ruth or two before you step
into the arena.  You don't fight well without any. -- Fealost

Black Eye -- Did they tell you that was your favorite weapon?  Because I don't think
you fight very well with it.  Did you notice how I got initiative skills and you
didn't; that was the difference in weapons. -- Moose

Kookaburra -- Skillfully done.  I bow to your creamy goodness. -- Crooked Hoof

     What?  This must be a different species of kookaburra! -- Ed.

Olaf Modeen -- I had a horse with a crooked hoof once.  Best horse I ever had.  It
was nice and slow, I always got where I was going after the fight was over. --
Crooked Hoof

     This sounds like an excellent plan. -- Olaf

Briarthorn -- You're well named.  And you're not a total scum like I'd heard. --
Broken Toe

By Hoof and Horn, the ignominy! -- Gazelle (after losing to a stand-in)
P.S.  Hey, I'm not a golem!
P.P.S.  The Lake Sailor can so swear, mime or not.

Tymaris Ravenswood -- Your name is too long, and I think that's why you lost.  But
you did do some pretty fancy parrying from your knees. -- Hummingbird

Ski Mask -- Y- y- you're a duck! -- Hummingbird

Mr. Potato Head -- Ah, potato salad tonight!  Thanks, I was wondering what to fix for
dinner.  Hot German potato salad with sausages in it. -- Delice the Red

Becky -- And very steely indeed were your blades.  Ouch. -- Hallie O'Dene

Fred -- How DARE you make the "rubber duckie in the bathtub" comment to me!  Even for
a mammal, you are a rotten, egg-eating muskrat! -- Ski Mask, Founder and President of
Ducks With Swords, and certified Paranoid

Spectrum -- Even Siam is not far enough away to disguise the truth.  You reek of
bathtub gin.  It will rot your brain (if you have one) and ruin your reflexes (such
as they are).  Leave off these foolish indulgences while you still can! -- Carrie
Nation

Olaf -- (glower) -- Ski Mask

Hummingbird -- I suppose you're welcome.  I'd rather teach skills to you than to some
mammal.  But you hummers are all frivolous. -- Ski Mask

31 January 2005
     My fellow duelists I come before you bearing a sad and unfortunate message.
Several months ago our group, the Vendetta Cartel, had lost contact with one of our
friends.  Since he was in contact or correspondence on an almost daily basis there
was concern amongst us.  With some research two of our members discovered why contact
was lost with him.
     On November 10, 2004, Richard Hammes was taken from us in a senseless act of
violence during a robbery attempt at a friend's store where he sometimes worked.  He
was watching the store so his friend could go home to tend to his son who had taken
ill.  You may have known Rich as Abarsis, The Slaughter Priest ; richh10 on the RT;
or gameogre on the Duel2 messageboard.  You may not have known that he spent 13 years
serving the United States in the Navy.
     Rich dearly loved this game and all it encompassed.  He may not have been the
best or most experienced manager but he loved to interact with others and was quick
to offer advice whenever anyone asked for help.  He was always kind and gracious and
tried to strengthen our game, often by helping new players feel welcome or give them
a chance to compete.  With his prolific posting I know that I am simply speaking the
obvious about what he did for our game.  Many, like me, were drawn to him, perhaps
for his kind nature or his sense of humor, and it appears he lived his life as he
played this game.  Always willing to help or do right by others.
     I realize that he had many friends outside the VC so I will include the link to
the news story in case any of his other friends would like to know more of what
happened.  We're all dealt a hand in life but it's not the strength of the hand
you're dealt but rather how you play it that really matters.  Rich played his hand to
the very best of his human ability and for this I admire him greatly.  I know we all
choose to like or dislike managers but I believe deep down we are all good and
decent, in this game, and will drop party (alliance) lines and will show the proper
respect.
     http://www.signonsandiego.com/uniontrib/20041112/news_7m12clerk.html
     Rich was taken from us all to soon and with so much left to offer the community
around him.  He spoke of a desire to run a contest on the Duel2 site which I hope to
uphold in his name.  Some of the people I have spoken with think it would be a nice
gesture to do one final good act in Rich's name, though it could never match what he
would've done within his community, for his community of San Diego.  I hope that with
this contest we might raise a little money to donate to an appropriate charity within
San Diego in his name.
     In conclusion I send a message to Rich:
     "Rich, though I'm sure you gathered this I never really told you how much I
admired you and what a friend I considered you.  I thank you for being my voice of
reason and always reminding me of why we both loved this game so much!  You have
taught me one final valuable lesson in learning more of you.  There are things far
more valuable in life than material possessions such as character and kindness.  That
nothing going on in your life means that you cannot find a way to be kind and giving
to others.  We always spoke of meeting someday and until we finally do know that you
will live on in with me and the rest of your brothers and sisters in the Cartel:
Master Darque, Kat, Bum, Sensei Jan, Maximillian, Hammer, Fizban, Firehawk, Phat
Phat.  You increased all of our enjoyment of this game, you were a true ambassador of
Duelmasters, and the game will not be quite the same without you.  A farewell battle
cry from the ZalCon:  'Confusion to our enemies'.  May your soul rest in peace, my
friend."
     Should anyone wish to correspond about Rich feel free to contact myself, or
anyone else within the Vendetta Cartel.
     Street Legal
     Jeff Bura
     The Death Squad(63) in Tobir or triumph1971@hotmail.com

31 January 2005
     Be it known throughout Alastari that Hammer is no longer a member of the
Vendetta Cartel alliance.
     A difference of opinion with another highly respected member of the VC due to my
recent vocal actions in DM 47 can only be resolved by my resignation from the VC as
of January 29, 2005.
     I leave of my own accord, in good standing with all members and with no hard
feelings towards anyone in the Vendetta Cartel.
     There was a time when I felt that my membership in the VC made the alliance
stronger.  I know that my resignation today makes the Vendetta Cartel a stronger
alliance with my absence. -- Hammer

1 February 2005
                           St. Valentine's Massacre update
My apologies, the Kill Contest starting on turn 476 in Jhans will run for 10 (ten)
turns ending on turn number 486.
                                                                   Azrael

5 February 2005
On behalf of the ILLUMINATI Confederation of Alliances (The kLk, CHAOS, Inc. and The
Company of Brothers) I would like to express our sympathies concerning the tragic
loss of Rich Hammes to both the DM community and to the real life world.  Surely our
loss has been Heaven's gain. -- Talon Darkhart, deeply sorrowful
                                kLk God of War, Illuminati Alliance, Puppetmaster

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

RAISON D'ETRE viciously subdued LONE WOLF in a 2 minute Challenge fight.
TALON subdued TOOFLESS in a exciting 3 minute Challenge melee.
NUTMEG was assassinated by MOD COD in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge duel.
BROCMAIL was defeated by MR. POTATO HEAD in a 2 minute brutal Challenge fight.
TYMARIS RAVENSWOOD was devastated by CARRIE NATION in a 1 minute Challenge brawl.
CIARAN defeated GAR & BRILL in a exciting 3 minute Challenge struggle.
VALLISNERIA devastated SKI MASK in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge competition.
DITCH RAT slaughtered CREDIT LINE in a 1 minute uneven Title duel.
CADDY JACKKNIFE was viciously subdued by QUIETUS in a action packed 2 minute fight.
2 PHAT was overpowered by BECKY in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
ARAC IRONFIST was viciously subdued by BATTLING BOB in a popular 2 minute brutal bout.
NED THE JANITOR subdued MORADOR in a 1 minute competition.
ELENA handily defeated DELICE THE RED in a exciting 1 minute one-sided contest.
BUCK outwaited LEFTISTS BLOW in a crowd pleasing 7 minute bloody bout.
EXILE was overpowered by QUONSET in a 2 minute bloody one-sided duel.
TICKLES vanquished KAIDEN in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided fray.
SPAZZ viciously subdued HALLIE O'DENE in a popular 2 minute brutal brawl.
BATTLESTONE demolished MOUNTAIN GOAT in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
MASHER beat FEAR in a crowd pleasing 2 minute fight.
FEALOST was bested by AEDON in a popular 3 minute gory contest.
RYRELEE viciously subdued PINK BEAR in a popular 6 minute gruesome match.
KONGOL was vanquished by SIR OCCO in a popular 1 minute mismatched fray.
R IS FOR REPUGNANT subdued RIFT in a popular 3 minute gruesome fight.
QUEEN AMAZONIA overpowered HEART in a popular 1 minute uneven fight.
RUTHLESS overpowered ZLATINA ANGUELOVA in a 2 minute uneven match.
JOHN LONGSHORE was savagely defeated by HUMMINGBIRD in a action packed 2 minute duel.
FIENDISH GLEE viciously subdued EVIL ELMO in a crowd pleasing 2 minute gruesome bout.
BLACK EYE savagely defeated ING in a popular 3 minute gruesome fight.
EM was overcome by FRED in a 1 minute fight.
PLACES THE LOTION... overpowered ACE BAILEY in a popular 1 minute one-sided match.
MAN O' WAR overpowered SPECTRUM in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
KOOKABURRA overcame GAZELLE in a crowd pleasing 3 minute match.
MOOSE was vanquished by BAYLEFYRE in a exciting 1 minute mismatched fight.
BRIARTHORN was savagely defeated by KI in a 2 minute brutal struggle.
ANIJIA ALARA overcame ALARIC in a exciting 1 minute fight.
SEGALLION SUNDANCER was demolished by BROKEN TOE in a 1 minute one-sided conflict.
AVALYNE WHYTE vanquished NUTCRACKER in a action packed 1 minute one-sided bout.
PUTZ'N ALONG beat CROOKED HOOF in a exciting 3 minute competition.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  18         PARRY-STRIKE       1 -   0 -  0     100  |
|AIMED BLOW                      11         LUNGING ATTACK    97 -  71 -  5      58  |
|WALL OF STEEL                   10         AIMED BLOW        47 -  44 -  0      52  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   9         WALL OF STEEL     50 -  47 -  0      52  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  9         SLASHING ATTACK   28 -  31 -  0      47  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  8         TOTAL PARRY       26 -  29 -  0      47  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      6         PARRY-LUNGE        6 -   7 -  0      46  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      2         BASHING ATTACK    33 -  41 -  2      45  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         PARRY-RIPOSTE      2 -   3 -  0      40  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     0         STRIKING ATTACK   24 -  46 -  0      34  |

Turn 396 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

BASHING ATTACK     7 -  2     SLASHING ATTACK    3 -  5         4  LUNGING ATTACK 
TOTAL PARRY        4 -  2     STRIKING ATTACK    2 -  7         3  STRIKING ATTACK
LUNGING ATTACK    11 -  7     WALL OF STEEL      2 -  8         1  BASHING ATTACK 
AIMED BLOW         6 -  5     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  0         1  AIMED BLOW     
PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  1                                       1  WALL OF STEEL  
PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  1                                       1  SLASHING ATTACK

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
BASHING ATTACK   DITCH RAT 82-15360         31  33  5  255 VERMIN! (1267)
LUNGING ATTACK   MOD COD 55-2638            63  84  3  233 RHYME TYME (449)
AIMED BLOW       NED THE JANITOR 66-2973    31  29  0  215 ANDORIAN UNIVERSITY (1123)
WALL OF STEEL    TALON 18-7782              32  11  1  205 GET OUTTA MY WAY (1319)
STRIKING ATTACK  BECKY 17-5782              22   7  3  199 BLADES OF STEEL (1068)
SLASHING ATTACK  ARAC IRONFIST 67-1944      25  16  0  186 RAZOR GRACE (1327)
TOTAL PARRY      TOOFLESS 2-5103            43   7  0  178 GLORY BOUND TROLLS (1314)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    MR. POTATO HEAD 20-442     27  20  0  157 LORDS OF CHAOS (1320)
PARRY-LUNGE      KI 31-165                  28  32  1   94 AVENGERS (1321)

The overall popularity leader is KAIDEN 35-3108.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was LEFTISTS BLOW 3-6356.  The ten other most popular fighters were CROOKED HOOF 
56-3493, RYRELEE 59-478, MASHER 60-4553, BLACK EYE 60-6163, TALON 18-7782, QUIETUS 
10-5165, RIFT 12-3922, SPAZZ 33-6207, FEALOST 1-3916, and PINK BEAR 36-5883.

The least popular fighter this week was SEGALLION SUNDANCER 11-4600.  The other ten 
least popular fighters were BRIARTHORN 12-5671, SPECTRUM 40-1666, MOUNTAIN GOAT 
56-3700, 2 PHAT 72-5064, CREDIT LINE 82-1366, TYMARIS RAVENSWOOD 53-5637, NUTCRACKER 
38-4380, ALARIC 28-3787, MOOSE 56-3459, and ACE BAILEY 47-4948.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
MORDANT(1)           2  1 0  IAYE(30)             1  0 0  ILLIS(59)            1  0 0  
NIANIA(2)            0  2 0  CHIMLEVTAL(31)       1  1 0  ARADI(60)            3  0 0  
OSKSI(3)             0  1 0  NIYTYOLE ISLAND(33)  2  0 0  AMEN-TEI(63)         1  0 0  
BONSUR(7)            2  3 0  MURSKA(35)           0  1 0  KURUKAR(64)          1  0 0  
ZUKAL(9)             1  0 0  JHANS(36)            0  1 0  DAL SHANG(65)        1  0 0  
KOLACT(10)           3  0 0  CLIFFHOME(38)        0  2 0  TARRGIR(66)          2  0 0  
ARUAK CITY(11)       2  4 0  ZENSU(40)            0  1 0  BARIKALA(67)         0  1 0  
RIZTAB(12)           1  2 0  KATI-TEI(41)         0  1 0  CIMMERIAC(69)        0  1 0  
MALCORN(15)          2  1 0  ARDIVENT(46)         1  0 0  DRAGONHEAD(72)       0  1 0  
ALJAFIR(17)          1  0 0  NORTH FORK(47)       0  1 0  DWES EG(82)          1  2 1  
TALCAMA(18)          1  0 0  KHALHUMS(53)         0  1 0  SHADOW GROVE(97)     0  1 0  
SEAM(20)             1  0 0  KHALANI(55)          1  0 1  SYVYN'S HILL(98)     1  0 0  
LYRATILAN(25)        1  0 0  ROCANIS(56)          2  5 0  SOUTH RIDGE(99)      1  1 0  
MORYA(28)            0  1 0  DELARQ TOR(58)       0  2 0  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 BUCK 1-2291                 41  87  0  164  MOSSRUNNERS (928)          MORDANT
 TOOFLESS 2-5103             43   7  0  178  GLORY BOUND TROLLS (1314)  NIANIA
 LEFTISTS BLOW 3-6356        23   5  2  115  THE CONFUSED (1313)        OSKSI
 RAISON D'ETRE 7-5311        31  19  3  203  BATHTUB ARMADA (1196)      BONSUR
 TICKLES 9-3486              53  73  1  179  MY PETS (554)              ZUKAL
 QUIETUS 10-5165             28  11  1  183  QUBIT (1136)               KOLACT
 CADDY JACKKNIFE 11-4288     28  14  0  167  GERFEL'S FRIENDS (516)     ARUAK CITY
 RIFT 12-3922                26  15  1  139  SPIRITUAL GIFT (791)       RIZTAB
 RUTHLESS 15-4591            22  12  0  107  TRIPLE CROWN (990)         MALCORN
 BECKY 17-5782               22   7  3  199  BLADES OF STEEL (1068)     ALJAFIR
 TALON 18-7782               32  11  1  205  GET OUTTA MY WAY (1319)    TALCAMA
 MR. POTATO HEAD 20-442      27  20  0  157  LORDS OF CHAOS (1320)      SEAM
 BAYLEFYRE 25-4373           12   2  0   54  BRETHREN OF SIN (1334)     LYRATILAN
 ALARIC 28-3787              16   8  0   50  THE WARLORDS II (1335)     MORYA
 VALLISNERIA 30-3226         19  15  1   72  THE GREENHOUSE (1219)      IAYE
 LONE WOLF 31-162            31  31  1  191  AVENGERS (1321)            CHIMLEVTAL
 SPAZZ 33-6207               50  47  0  169  SNOTZI'S II (813)          NIYTYOLE ISLAND
 KAIDEN 35-3108              93  91  2  151  VIOLENT FEMS (972)         MURSKA
 PINK BEAR 36-5883           34  15  1  120  LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... (1304 JHANS
 GAR & BRILL 38-4252         27  47  0   63  JUST BECAUSE (1228)        CLIFFHOME
 SPECTRUM 40-1666            17  15  4   41  AS FAR AS SIAM (1323)      ZENSU
 ING 41-3532                 14  11  1   58  UNEARTHLY PIMPS (1324)     KATI-TEI
 FIENDISH GLEE 46-1553       18  10  5  106  CLEVER LINGO (1212)        ARDIVENT
 ACE BAILEY 47-4948          14  16  0   60  ROYAL FLUSH (146)          NORTH FORK
 TYMARIS RAVENSWOOD 53-5637  22  26  0   46  PUERCO'S PINATA (700)      KHALHUMS
 MOD COD 55-2638             63  84  3  233  RHYME TYME (449)           KHALANI
 DELICE THE RED 56-3401      57  62  2  187  BAD APPLES (1091)          ROCANIS
 HALLIE O'DENE 58-6018       56  76  0  152  CIRQUE DU MASQUES (1093)   DELARQ TOR
 RYRELEE 59-478              24  14  0  140  HARE CONTROL (1290)        ILLIS
 MASHER 60-4553              54  49  3  176  JOKA MASHER! (833)         ARADI
 ELENA 63-2356               25   9  0  213  SITTIN' ON ACES (1302)     AMEN-TEI
 CARRIE NATION 64-4054       49  85  0   75  REFORMERS (1095)           KURUKAR
 FRED 65-5333                24  10  0   80  MYSTERY MACHINE (1326)     DAL SHANG
 NED THE JANITOR 66-2973     31  29  0  215  ANDORIAN UNIVERSITY (1123) TARRGIR
 ARAC IRONFIST 67-1944       25  16  0  186  RAZOR GRACE (1327)         BARIKALA
 BROCMAIL 69-9348            27  22  2  141  THE WILD HUNT (844)        CIMMERIAC
 2 PHAT 72-5064              28  10  1  173  VERMIN (771)               DRAGONHEAD
 DITCH RAT 82-15360          31  33  5  255  VERMIN! (1267)             DWES EG
 HEART 97-1096               14  19  4   97  ORGANS ON THE SAND (1273)  SHADOW GROVE
 PLACES THE LOTION.. 98-909  11  12  5   86  ARCANE BEACH DAY (1305)    SYVYN'S HILL
 R IS FOR REPUGNANT 99-1155  16   9  4  152  GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME (1306)  SOUTH RIDGE

                                  Name-Change-O-Rama

     The winter tourney brought a lot of people to the Isle who didn't appear there 
normally.  This included Commission employees.  Half a dozen arenamasters regarded 
each other warily in the mirror behind the bar at the Pig in a Haystack.  The Pig was 
obscure and mediocre, drawing few gladiators, which is what they had all been looking 
for.  They saw gladiators every day.  Most arenamaster were convinced that this was 
some kind of punishment.
     You could always pick out the arenamasters in a crowd.  There were superficial 
differences:  One of these had clearly Adantri features, one wore an eye-patch, two 
were female.  But there were, in significant ways, alike.  The same size, the same 
hair-trigger alertness, the same deadliness.
     The one-eyed man broke the ice, raising his beer mug in salute.  "I'm Zrof One-
Eye from Zukal.  Sugar of Arvat--"  One of the women bowed slightly.  "I know Sugar.  
The rest of you...?"
     The Adantri matched his salute.  "Dernal of Dayla Kiv."
     "Daiyla Kiv?  Ah...."
     "No, without the 'I' in it.  These damned bureaucrats can't spell, and they 
thought adding an unnecessary vowel was exotic."  Disgust dripped from his voice.
     "Tell me about it!" another man growled in agreement.  "Khagal of Niatoli, and 
what they do to the spelling of THAT simple word--!"
     "I thought Daiyla, I mean Dayla Kiv had a different name right now," 
Arenamistress Sugar said.  "The arena, at least, because of a contest?"
     "Chavez Ravine."  Dernal's tone was the one that substituted in polite company 
for spitting on the floor.
     Zrof blinked, taken aback by the bitterness.  He wouldn't have minded a contest 
in Zukal, and damn what they called the place.  "It's only temporary, though."
     "Temporary, shmiperary," another man muttered.  He seemed well into his drinking, 
although, like all arenamasters, he carried his liquor well.  "They do it all the time 
in Aradi.  No reshpect.  Go around changing thish, changing that.  I wish I could 
change shome thingsh."  He signalled the bartender for a refill.
     The second woman put her hand over his mug.  "You've had enough, Harkon.  Try the 
coffee, instead."
     "You should be mad, too, Ripplesh," Harkon said.  "They're going to do shtuff 
like that in Jahnsh, aren't they?"
     Ripples Dorrigan shrugged.  All the men paused, some with glasses half raised, to 
watch.  "It's the way things are," she said.  "Not much we can do about it."
     "You know," Khagal of Niatoli said, "maybe we could make a few changes.  Fix the 
spelling of Arena 33, for one, change a few standby titles--"
     "The Commission hates changes."  Dernal of Dayla Kiv topped up his glass and 
drained it gloomily.
     "Yes, but if we disguise it," Sugar of Arvat said, excited, "make it... maybe a 
general Name-Change-O-Rama!  Then we could slip OUR changes through and no one would 
notice or mind."

                  *-------*-------*-------*-------*-------*-------* 

     By popular demand, we are holding a Name-Change-o-Rama during the month of March.
If you wish to change the name of your warriors or teams, please contact RSI Customer 
Service.  The charge for a name change is $1, unless you're in DOOMCorps, in which 
case you take your chances.  (Just kidding, guys! *snicker*)