AD
Date : 06/29/2005 Duedate: 07/12/2005
HOME GUARD
DM-101 TURN-405
RANK TEAMS W L K % RANK TEAMS W L K %
1 ARCANE BEACH 98/1305 160 88 1 64.5 GERFEL'S FRIENDS 11/516
GET OUTTA MY WAY 18/1319 THE GREENHOUSE 30/1219
2 TUFT TUGGERS 11/557 288 189 4 60.4 7 TWISTED SESA 99/1307 114 102 1 52.8
MANIACAL TUFTS 11/1147 8 ALL FINESSE 38/1236 100 96 1 51.0
3 HYBRIDS V 82/1340 323 261 1 55.3 MANNEQUIN'S BEST 1/1227
ATTACK OF THE CLONES 82/1339 SUGAR AND SPICE 7/1231
4-LETTER NAMES 82/1341 CLEVER LINGO 46/1212
GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME 99/1306 9 DARKMOON 12/1197 37 46 0 44.6
ORGAN ON THE SANDS 96/1272 10 VIOLENT FEMS 35/972 408 553 9 42.5
WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY 82/1274 JUST BECAUSE 38/1228
4 RAZOR GRACE 67/1327 52 42 0 55.3 11 MY PETS 9/554 499 762 13 39.6
MYSTERY MACHINE 65/1326 RHYME TYME 55/449
FRAG 'EM ALL! 66/574 GIRL SCOUT COOKIES 33/812
5 QUBIT 10/1136 961 801 10 54.5 12 REDHORSE 56/1325 159 255 1 38.4
TRIPLE CROWN 15/990 MOSSRUNNERS 1/928
JOKA MASHER! 60/833 13 REFORMERS 64/1095 476 791 5 37.6
SIR AGLIO 10/788 CIRQUE DU MASQUES 58/1093
SPIRITUAL GIFT 12/791 BAD APPLES 56/1091
SNOTZI'S II 33/813 14 AVENGERS 31/1321 17 45 0 27.4
KNOT WHOLE 2/1333 LORDS OF CHAOS 20/1320
VERMIN! 82/1267 LORDS OF CHAOS 11/1348
6 PUERCO'S PINA 53/700 131 115 1 53.3 MEDIEVAL CHAOS 22/1342
ANDORIAN UNIVERSITY 66/1123 AS FAR AS SIAM 40/1323
'##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id '-' Team did not fight this turn
THE GUARDIAN'S FORUM
Reflections by the Captain of the Guard
Quonset... Bro...
I almost thought you had me beat out there, then something just came over me. I was
like, "I can't go down this easily" and "Hey! I already beat this guy once!" but I
never was like, "I think I'll kill him now." No way, that's not me at all. My motto
is live and let live, like a lot of my fellow countrymen. Then there's the ever-
popular: Health! Humility! Honor! but maybe I should save that one for the end. My
manager tells me that you should have been from an Andorian city, by rights, if they
hadn't closed down the arena there. That's life, as Greywand wills it. You know, I
wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for her. Sure, a lot of warriors get restored to
life by her; but she gave me my life back even before I was a warrior! But I think
that is a story for another time.
Caddy
P.S. I'm not sure, but is this the place where I say what my stats are? If so, then
you hosers are out of luck! But I don't want to disappoint so here's some stats to
read: 25-25-25-25-25-25-25-25. That eighth one is chill-ness. I'm damn chill.
P.P.S. Health! Humilty! Honor!
P.P.P.S. I can't remember if I challenged anybody...
REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER
I bet you didn't know a dead man could get hives. Yep. Sad but true. We're
most of us terribly allergic to dust mites, and there are such a LOT of dust mites
around cemetaries, burial vaults, and such-like places. Around the arena, too--the
maintenance crew is worthless. What we need here are some little old house-proud
ladies to spiff the place up. Probably Convincians.
In the mean time, and I do mean it was a mean time, here's the fight news. We
had fights. Lots of them, well, thirty-three, which isn't bad in these degenerate
days. Only two standbys out there sweating and bleeding. Twelve challenge matches,
one of them TV. No deaths. The longest fight was nine minutes, unless this note is
about something else. Somebody seems to have set a sweaty beer bottle on it, and
it's, uh, not easy to read. Way too hot for nine minute fights, sports fans! Okay,
so some of you gladiators are that crazy, how do you think you're going to hold the
fans that long, eh? Qubit was most avoided by Tuft Tuggers. Buck was challenge more
times than the "duelmaster," which isn't saying much, because HE got no challenges at
all!
And now, a few words about the fights.
FRED (65-5333) (29-13-0,77) of MYSTERY MACHINE fought LAKE SAILOR (101-2) (0-0-
0,30) of the College of Mimes. FRED savagely defeated LAKE SAILOR in a popular 2
minute gory duel. Ever try to tell someone you're drowning by sign language? Being
a mime isn't a piece of cake, you know. There are times when a good yell is worth
rubies, even if you like rubies.
PROWESS (2-5155) (21-24-0,59) of KNOT WHOLE fought CARRIE NATION (64-4054) (53-
89-0,73) of REFORMERS. PROWESS was subdued by CARRIE NATION in a crowd pleasing 3
minute match. So! Does this mean that the renowned female Prow has been drinking?
Does it matter? I hear the beer-sellers are going to send Carrie a hand-illuminated
vote of thanks, because her loud comments on the evils of beer and wine caused a run
on their stocks and made their fortunes. Or words to that effect.
TEDDY RUXPIN (11-6399) (24-18-1,62) of LORDS OF CHAOS fought GAZELLE (56-3701)
(22-17-0,53) of REDHORSE. TEDDY RUXPIN outlasted GAZELLE in a popular 9 minute fray.
This was popular with the fans because the lengthy (for summer) fight gave everybody
time to get a beer and settle down.
HUMMINGBIRD (56-3475) (24-28-0,63) of REDHORSE fought JOHN LONGSHORE (11-4197)
(24-32-0,41) of TUFT TUGGERS. HUMMINGBIRD overpowered JOHN LONGSHORE in an exciting
1 minute one-sided struggle. After all, what do geologists know about flightly
little birds? Uh... somebody did say that John is or was a geologist, yes?
RUTHLESS (15-4591) (24-18-0,75) of TRIPLE CROWN fought BROKEN TOE (56-3683) (24-
43-1,54) of REDHORSE. RUTHLESS demolished BROKEN TOE in a 1 minute uneven contest.
You think Ruthless got that name for a joke? No way!
BLIND ILLUSION (22-6379) (16-15-1,65) of MEDIEVAL CHAOS fought LIL E. TEE (15-
4608) (15-4-1,50) of TRIPLE CROWN. BLIND ILLUSION overpowered LIL E. TEE in a
popular 5 minute gruesome one-sided bout. To quell some nasty rumors, Blind is NOT a
supporter of the "eat more horse meat" league. What do they call them, the
Hippophages? Other medievalists, maybe, but Blind prefers mule.
GAR & BRILL (38-4252) (28-54-0,33) of JUST BECAUSE fought MOOSE (56-3459) (16-
24-0,54) of REDHORSE. GAR & BRILL overpowered MOOSE in a popular 1 minute one-sided
match. Brilled moose-burgers, anyone?
PLACES THE LOTION... (98-909) (14-15-5,98) of ARCANE BEACH DAY fought PISTON
HURRICANE (40-2287) (19-9-0,72) of AS FAR AS SIAM. PLACES THE LOTION... overpowered
PISTON HURRICANE in a 1 minute uneven fight. You've heard of oil spills, I suppose?
This was a lotion spill and it went as far as Siam, which is a long way.
CITATION (15-3925) (20-14-0,100) of TRIPLE CROWN fought SEGALLION SUNDANCER (11-
4600) (25-21-1,87) of TUFT TUGGERS. CITATION was overpowered by SEGALLION SUNDANCER
in a 1 minute uneven competition. Ride 'em, cowboy!
BLACK EYE (60-6163) (32-20-0,107) of JOKA MASHER! fought MR. POTATO HEAD (20-
442) (29-24-0,132) of LORDS OF CHAOS. BLACK EYE overcame MR. POTATO HEAD in an
action packed 2 minute bout. Does this mean the loser is now mashed potatoes? With
gravy, I hope! Although it seems to me that gravy is red-eye?
TYMARIS RAVENSWOOD (53-5637) (27-29-0,142) of PUERCO'S PINATA fought TICKLES (9-
3486) (55-79-1,126) of MY PETS. TYMARIS RAVENSWOOD was vanquished by TICKLES in a 1
minute uneven bout. Take note, all you Ravenswood groupies: Tymaris is helpless
when tickled. This could be the key to making your wildest fantasies come true!
SIR OCCO (10-5079) (32-23-0,168) of SIR AGLIO fought VALLISNERIA (30-3226) (23-
19-1,124) of THE GREENHOUSE. SIR OCCO vanquished VALLISNERIA in an exciting 1 minute
one-sided fight. There is very little that can't be blown away by a hot, dry wind,
especially when it's blowing sand along.
LONE WOLF (31-162) (32-36-1,160) of AVENGERS fought KIDNEY (96-972) (15-15-
3,112) of ORGAN ON THE SANDS. LONE WOLF was overpowered by KIDNEY in an exciting 1
minute gory uneven fight. So much for Lone's desire to make steak-and-kidney pie.
Just as well, when you think about it. Who wants to ruin a perfectly good steak?
SPAZZ (33-6207) (53-52-0,173) of SNOTZI'S II fought GATEWAY (82-15631) (18-3-
0,143) of ATTACK OF THE CLONES. SPAZZ overcame GATEWAY in a popular 2 minute brutal
contest. Bet you didn't know how easy it was to block a gate, eh? Piece of cake.
RIFT (12-3922) (29-20-1,168) of SPIRITUAL GIFT fought FEALOST (1-3916) (47-60-
1,145) of MOSSRUNNERS. RIFT vanquished FEALOST in an action packed 1 minute gruesome
one-sided match. Ah, definitely Fea-Lost this time. Oh, well. Work on it some
more, boy.
DITCH RAT (82-15360) (35-37-5,205) of VERMIN! fought TALON (18-7782) (34-15-
1,173) of GET OUTTA MY WAY. DITCH RAT slimly lost to TALON in a popular 3 minute
gory contest. The ditch was too shallow. Get a deeper one next time, you Rat!
CREDIT LINE (82-1366) (13-24-0,203) of WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY fought DELICE THE
RED (56-3401) (60-67-3,184) of BAD APPLES. CREDIT LINE overpowered DELICE THE RED in
a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided match. She may have lost the fight, but is that
diamonds I see her wearing?
ARAC IRONFIST (67-1944) (29-20-0,198) of RAZOR GRACE fought SHARON SHEW (101-25)
(0-0-0,181) of the College of Mimes. ARAC IRONFIST was defeated by SHARON SHEW in an
exciting 2 minute brutal bout. Some days the Shew fits, and some days she cuts your
toes off.
BATTLESTONE (66-2980) (35-26-0,202) of FRAG 'EM ALL! fought HARV (82-20046) (17-
6-1,183) of 4-LETTER NAMES. BATTLESTONE was bested by HARV in a crowd pleasing 1
minute brawl. I hear that somebody bet Harv he couldn't get blood out of a stone. I
guess he proved them wrong.
QUONSET (10-4990) (43-28-0,203) of QUBIT fought R IS FOR REPUGNANT (99-1155)
(21-12-4,187) of GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME. QUONSET overpowered R IS FOR REPUGNANT in an
action packed 1 minute uneven struggle. Poor R feels like a building fell on him!
And it couldn't have happened to a better guy.
AGLIBOL (12-5848) (19-8-0,76) of DARKMOON challenged CROOKED HOOF (56-3493) (29-
18-0,76) of REDHORSE. Straight across. AGLIBOL demolished CROOKED HOOF in a popular
1 minute mismatched Challenge match. If I was the Redhorse, I'd get that hoof fixed.
I hear you can get corrective Shews, er, shoes.
SUGARBEET (7-5219) (24-23-1,62) of SUGAR AND SPICE challenged KI (31-165) (29-
37-1,70) of AVENGERS. Up 8. SUGARBEET luckily beat KI in a crowd pleasing 2 minute
bloody Challenge competition. You think this was luck? Nope, not a chance. Ki has
got this sugar problem, you see, and Sugarbeet just out-sweeted him.
AVALYNE WHYTE (11-3270) (21-19-1,83) of TUFT TUGGERS challenged SKI MASK (58-
5869) (46-75-0,86) of CIRQUE DU MASQUES. Up 3. AVALYNE WHYTE viciously subdued SKI
MASK in a popular 1 minute brutal Challenge bout. And now all the gladiators in Home
Guard are invited to partake of the largest roast Duck ever.
BRIARTHORN (12-5671) (19-16-1,100) of DARKMOON challenged MOUNTAIN GOAT (56-
3700) (27-36-3,108) of REDHORSE. Up 8. BRIARTHORN overpowered MOUNTAIN GOAT in a 1
minute one-sided Challenge fight. But in a rival cookout, Darkmoon is offering
barbecued goat.
CIARAN (1-7176) (23-16-1,92) of MANNEQUIN'S BEST challenged QUIFF (10-4779) (21-
10-0,104) of QUBIT. Up 12. CIARAN vanquished QUIFF in an action packed 1 minute
uneven Challenge fight. So thoroughly did Ciaran vanquish that there wasn't even a
whiff of a Quiff left.
NUTCRACKER (38-4380) (25-21-1,99) of ALL FINESSE challenged ZLATINA ANGUELOVA
(11-4856) (26-25-1,100) of TUFT TUGGERS. Up 1. NUTCRACKER vanquished ZLATINA
ANGUELOVA in a 1 minute uneven Challenge duel. Sometimes finesse is not enough.
FIENDISH GLEE (46-1553) (22-14-5,145) of CLEVER LINGO challenged HALLIE O'DENE
(58-6018) (61-79-0,158) of CIRQUE DU MASQUES. Up 13. FIENDISH GLEE viciously
subdued HALLIE O'DENE in a 2 minute Challenge competition. And Fiendish LAUGHED the
whole time. I hear that Hallie was fit to be tied. Or something along those lines.
QUEEN AMAZONIA (12-4796) (35-42-1,129) of DARKMOON challenged SMELLY TOES (82-
17409) (18-10-0,135) of HYBRIDS V. Up 6. QUEEN AMAZONIA was devastated by SMELLY
TOES in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel. Who wouldn't be? Those toes are REALLY
smelly, and we all know that queens are delicate that way. Was this lese majesty?
EVE DREWSHADOW (53-6246) (23-18-0,104) of PUERCO'S PINATA challenged BUCK (1-
2291) (43-93-0,119) of MOSSRUNNERS. Up 15. This is Buck-the-Most-Challenged, I
presume. EVE DREWSHADOW overpowered BUCK in a 3 minute bloody one-sided Challenge
fight. I could tell you things about that boy, but they tell me this newsletter is
supposed to be G.
EVIL ELMO (99-1222) (20-11-4,115) of TWISTED SESAME challenged KOOKABURRA (33-
4151) (60-82-2,109) of GIRL SCOUT COOKIES. Down 6. EVIL ELMO won victory over
KOOKABURRA in a crowd pleasing 2 minute Challenge brawl. Some people like their
cookies any way they can get them.
NED THE JANITOR (66-2973) (37-31-0,189) of ANDORIAN UNIVERSITY challenged 50
SUCKS (60-4129) (83-44-2,203) of JOKA MASHER! Up 14. NED THE JANITOR savagely
defeated 50 SUCKS in an exciting 5 minute Challenge melee. I've never seen a crossed
broom and dustpan as a heraldic device before. Rather eye-catching.
Our TV challenge: ANIJIA ALARA (11-4675) (21-10-1,204) of MANIACAL TUFTS TV
challenged MOD COD (55-2638) (67-88-3,213) of RHYME TYME. Up 9. ANIJIA ALARA was
devastated by MOD COD in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight. The wrong fish,
Anijia. You should've gone after a Stout Trout or maybe a Daring Herring.
And in defense of his title: CADDY JACKKNIFE (11-4288) (34-16-1,278) of
GERFEL'S FRIENDS fought KAIDEN (35-3108) (99-93-2,211) of VIOLENT FEMS. CADDY
JACKKNIFE unbelievably bested KAIDEN in a popular 3 minute Title conflict. What is
there not to believe? Thanks for the column, Caddy.
Olaf
CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
CADDY JACKKNIFE 11-4288 35 16 1 287 GERFEL'S FRIENDS (516) ARUAK CITY
GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
MOD COD 55-2638 68 88 3 230 RHYME TYME (449) KHALANI
NED THE JANITOR 66-2973 38 31 0 223 ANDORIAN UNIVERSITY (1123) TARRGIR
QUONSET 10-4990 44 28 0 216 QUBIT (1136) KOLACT
GRAND CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
CREDIT LINE 82-1366 14 24 0 210 WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY (1274 DWES EG
KAIDEN 35-3108 99 94 2 203 VIOLENT FEMS (972) MURSKA
HARV 82-20046 18 6 1 203 4-LETTER NAMES (1341) DWES EG
TALON 18-7782 35 15 1 195 GET OUTTA MY WAY (1319) TALCAMA
50 SUCKS 60-4129 83 45 2 194 JOKA MASHER! (833) ARADI
ANIJIA ALARA 11-4675 21 11 1 190 MANIACAL TUFTS (1147) ARUAK CITY
DITCH RAT 82-15360 35 38 5 189 VERMIN! (1267) DWES EG
BATTLESTONE 66-2980 35 27 0 189 FRAG 'EM ALL! (574) TARRGIR
ARAC IRONFIST 67-1944 29 21 0 187 RAZOR GRACE (1327) BARIKALA
R IS FOR REPUGNANT 99-1155 21 13 4 184 GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME (1306) SOUTH RIDGE
SPAZZ 33-6207 54 52 0 181 SNOTZI'S II (813) NIATOLI ISLAND
GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
DELICE THE RED 56-3401 60 68 3 179 BAD APPLES (1091) ROCANIS
RIFT 12-3922 30 20 1 173 SPIRITUAL GIFT (791) RIZTAB
GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
SIR OCCO 10-5079 33 23 0 170 SIR AGLIO (788) KOLACT
FIENDISH GLEE 46-1553 23 14 5 160 CLEVER LINGO (1212) ARDIVENT
GRAND ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
HALLIE O'DENE 58-6018 61 80 0 148 CIRQUE DU MASQUES (1093) DELARQ TOR
GATEWAY 82-15631 18 4 0 148 ATTACK OF THE CLONES (1339 DWES EG
KIDNEY 96-972 16 15 3 147 ORGAN ON THE SANDS (1272) OLD VALAMANTIS
TICKLES 9-3486 56 79 1 144 MY PETS (554) ZUKAL
FEALOST 1-3916 47 61 1 144 MOSSRUNNERS (928) MORDANT
SMELLY TOES 82-17409 19 10 0 144 HYBRIDS V (1340) DWES EG
BLACK EYE 60-6163 33 20 0 131 JOKA MASHER! (833) ARADI
VALLISNERIA 30-3226 23 20 1 128 THE GREENHOUSE (1219) IAYE
LONE WOLF 31-162 32 37 1 126 AVENGERS (1321) CHIMLEVTAL
QUEEN AMAZONIA 12-4796 35 43 1 124 DARKMOON (1197) RIZTAB
TYMARIS RAVENSWOOD 53-5637 27 30 0 124 PUERCO'S PINATA (700) KHALHUMS
EVE DREWSHADOW 53-6246 24 18 0 123 PUERCO'S PINATA (700) KHALHUMS
EVIL ELMO 99-1222 21 11 4 119 TWISTED SESAME (1307) SOUTH RIDGE
MR. POTATO HEAD 20-442 29 25 0 117 LORDS OF CHAOS (1320) SEAM
CIARAN 1-7176 24 16 1 115 MANNEQUIN'S BEST (1227) MORDANT
BRIARTHORN 12-5671 20 16 1 114 DARKMOON (1197) RIZTAB
KOOKABURRA 33-4151 60 83 2 112 GIRL SCOUT COOKIES (812) NIATOLI ISLAND
NUTCRACKER 38-4380 26 21 1 111 ALL FINESSE (1236) CLIFFHOME
PLACES THE LOTION.. 98-909 15 15 5 107 ARCANE BEACH DAY (1305) SYVYN'S HILL
BUCK 1-2291 43 94 0 103 MOSSRUNNERS (928) MORDANT
GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
SEGALLION SUNDANCE 11-4600 26 21 1 100 TUFT TUGGERS (557) ARUAK CITY
MOUNTAIN GOAT 56-3700 27 37 3 95 REDHORSE (1325) ROCANIS
AGLIBOL 12-5848 20 8 0 93 DARKMOON (1197) RIZTAB
AVALYNE WHYTE 11-3270 22 19 1 91 TUFT TUGGERS (557) ARUAK CITY
GRAND INITIATES W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
ZLATINA ANGUELOVA 11-4856 26 26 1 90 TUFT TUGGERS (557) ARUAK CITY
QUIFF 10-4779 21 11 0 90 QUBIT (1136) KOLACT
CITATION 15-3925 20 15 0 84 TRIPLE CROWN (990) MALCORN
SKI MASK 58-5869 46 76 0 80 CIRQUE DU MASQUES (1093) DELARQ TOR
RUTHLESS 15-4591 25 18 0 80 TRIPLE CROWN (990) MALCORN
BLIND ILLUSION 22-6379 17 15 1 80 MEDIEVAL CHAOS (1342) SOLVEN
FRED 65-5333 30 13 0 79 MYSTERY MACHINE (1326) DAL SHANG
CARRIE NATION 64-4054 54 89 0 77 REFORMERS (1095) KURUKAR
SUGARBEET 7-5219 25 23 1 72 SUGAR AND SPICE (1231) BONSUR
HUMMINGBIRD 56-3475 25 28 0 70 REDHORSE (1325) ROCANIS
CROOKED HOOF 56-3493 29 19 0 69 REDHORSE (1325) ROCANIS
TEDDY RUXPIN 11-6399 25 18 1 69 LORDS OF CHAOS (1348) ARUAK CITY
PISTON HURRICANE 40-2287 19 10 0 69 AS FAR AS SIAM (1323) ZENSU
KI 31-165 29 38 1 65 AVENGERS (1321) CHIMLEVTAL
PROWESS 2-5155 21 25 0 59 KNOT WHOLE (1333) NIANIA
-SPECTRUM 40-1666 18 19 4 56 AS FAR AS SIAM (1323) ZENSU
GAR & BRILL 38-4252 29 54 0 55 JUST BECAUSE (1228) CLIFFHOME
GAZELLE 56-3701 22 18 0 55 REDHORSE (1325) ROCANIS
BROKEN TOE 56-3683 24 44 1 51 REDHORSE (1325) ROCANIS
LIL E. TEE 15-4608 15 5 1 48 TRIPLE CROWN (990) MALCORN
JOHN LONGSHORE 11-4197 24 33 0 37 TUFT TUGGERS (557) ARUAK CITY
MOOSE 56-3459 16 25 0 33 REDHORSE (1325) ROCANIS
'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.
THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN
PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE
Carrie Nation -- Okay, that's pretty offensive, and it's merely your opinion. I'd
prefer if you keep it to yourself. -- Segallion
Carrie Nation -- No totally! ALL men are fools! I agree with you, ignore Segallion.
In fact, all HUMANS are fools! Even better! -- Anij
Caddy -- DUDE! That was like totally so cool! You KILLED the captain! I didn't
know you had it in ya. I mean, actually, it's not cool, I wouldn't wish it on a
normal person, but Quonset being immortal and all... You know us LPs... special! --
Anij
Ned -- Where the heck did a janitor learn a word like histrionic!? Peeping in on
classes? What is a histrionic anyways!? Whatever. I was going to tell Quonset I
was going to come kick his butt, however your lacky is up there now! Ack! Get out
of my way! -- Anij
Caddy -- Okay, so like, I won't be challenging you (I hate our managers), but like,
what happens if I'm the only one in the challenger champions? Huh? Match up by
default baby, yeah! -- Anij
Quonset -- I was going to totally stomp your sorry Q'ness and set you like the sun!
But... you're not on top, so oh well. Maybe if you somehow got above me... -- Anij
Okay, somebody needs to get that elf girl a muzzle. -- Segallion
Ski Mask -- <scratching his head> Hmm... uh, well... anger management, that's about
all I have to say for you. -- Longshore
Ski manages to get angry a lot.
Gazelle -- Oh, that would be great, yes. Thank you for the practice sessions. --
Longshore
Mountain Goat -- It's difficult to be a hockey player and have pride in your teeth.
They are so easily broken, and so often! I think I'm not doing too badly, so far
though. A face cage and mouth piece helps. -- Zlatina
Citation -- Tankesh tells me I am blessed too, but I seriously do not understand what
they see in me from a gladiatorial perspective. -- Avalyne
Quonset -- Ned was just restating my aimer logic in his DM column. His own opinions
don't range so far afield, so far as I know. You beat him good, and he's within
spitting distance of the ADM/eligibles bar, so you've got something working in your
favor. Caddy's recent fortune against you really doesn't change my opinion. I've
been on the losing side of just such a matchup with your manager before, in a recent
tourney, and that result gave me hope for my own wastes (of which Caddy is a shining
example). -- Generalissimo Puerco
Evil Elmo -- You really are evil. Did you slip me a drug before the fight, or what?
Because I know I can fight three minutes without getting that exhausted. -- Mountain
Goat
Quonset -- Nice column! Very well done! You should have won. -- Mountain Goat
Zlatina -- For some reason, horns on a helm are not considered a weapon. Go figure.
-- Mountain Goat
Zlatina Anguelova -- Experience, twice as many fights, that sort of thing. I did
think you fought very well.
-- Fealost
Olaf -- "Feawon"? Only after I work my way up to a winning record. -- Fealost (named
after a forest)
Based on your record, do we assume that your forest is now sawdust?
Tymaris Ravenswood -- "Buck--Dark Arena?" (smiling proudly) They want me to join
the Dark Arena. Did you notice, they didn't do any cheering for you. -- Buck
P.S. I have something for you, though. (flashing open raincoat)
Ki -- You know... I have no response to that fight. Maybe because I can't remember
it. But I like your helm. -- Moose
P.S. Kies are the natural enemies of Meese.
Gar & Brill -- Woo hoo! Sorry if I was rude. You know what, the roadsides where I
come from are full of chicks and tiggers. In case you need another name for someone
joining your team. -- Gazelle
John Longshore -- I will! Thank you! -- Gazelle
Blind Illusion -- You see, if you let the old fart win you learn more. -- Crooked
Hoof
Olaf -- Yes, Illusion could have avoided my attacks. But he wanted to learn more of
what I could teach. -- Crooked Hoof
Just wait'll it comes back to bite you.
John Longshore -- The way our fight started, I sure never thought I would win it.
But it was very kind of you to say that my attack felt like a landslide. I've never
been called a landslide before. (smiling) -- Hummingbird
Olaf -- I don't fight with a long needle in my mouth, but I had a long earring in my
ear and your old eyes must have seen it glint as it danced past the front of my face
during the fight. I find it distracts opponents, but it didn't this time. --
Hummingbird
It adds a new dimension to the phrase "pierced ears."
I just want to register a complaint here: After he beat me, the Mean Spirit stomped
on my toe! -- Broken Toe
Of course!
Vallisneria -- I suppose in this weather, you're just doing great. Me, I find it too
hot and too humid. Summer is NOT my time of year. -- Hallie O'Dene
Ciaran -- I know it SAYS that I showed you respect and surrender, but it was all an
ACT. If I had more time, I would elaborate on the reasons for my lack of respect
(the drinking of vile spirits has a lot to do with it) and refusal to surrender. But
right now, time is at a premium. -- Carrie Nation
P.S. Actually, that "time is at a premium" doesn't sound quite right. There IS no
time.
P.P.S. I don't mean to say that time is an illusion, although it probably is, but
just that I'm very busy.
Kaiden -- But they do say that violence never solves anything. -- Delice the Red
P.S. But then again, people will say anything if they think it will help them get
their own way.
Citation -- To THINK that I should be RUN OVER by a HORSE! -- Ski Mask
P.S. And such a SMALL horse.
Tankesh -- My mind keeps getting written over by "this should fit into that box, and
then we can tape it up," and "you have HOW many more shelves of books?" -- Hallie
Tankesh -- I'm up for fun in many ways. After all, I am a BAD Apple. -- Delice the
Red
Sultan -- Yeah, I got thrown out a while back. But maybe I've done badly enough
there that I can come back next split. I'll have to check on that. -- Ho-Chan the
Axe
Ned -- There are other things one can do with a floor. -- Delice the Red
LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS
ANIJIA ALARA was devastated by MOD COD in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
NED THE JANITOR savagely defeated 50 SUCKS in a exciting 5 minute Challenge melee.
EVIL ELMO won victory over KOOKABURRA in a crowd pleasing 2 minute Challenge brawl.
EVE DREWSHADOW overpowered BUCK in a 3 minute bloody one-sided Challenge fight.
QUEEN AMAZONIA was devastated by SMELLY TOES in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
FIENDISH GLEE viciously subdued HALLIE O'DENE in a 2 minute Challenge competition.
NUTCRACKER vanquished ZLATINA ANGUELOVA in a 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
CIARAN vanquished QUIFF in a action packed 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
BRIARTHORN overpowered MOUNTAIN GOAT in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
AVALYNE WHYTE viciously subdued SKI MASK in a popular 1 minute brutal Challenge bout.
SUGARBEET luckily beat KI in a crowd pleasing 2 minute bloody Challenge competition.
AGLIBOL demolished CROOKED HOOF in a popular 1 minute mismatched Challenge match.
CADDY JACKKNIFE unbelievably bested KAIDEN in a popular 3 minute Title conflict.
QUONSET overpowered R IS FOR REPUGNANT in a action packed 1 minute uneven struggle.
BATTLESTONE was bested by HARV in a crowd pleasing 1 minute brawl.
ARAC IRONFIST was defeated by SHARON SHEW in a exciting 2 minute brutal bout.
CREDIT LINE overpowered DELICE THE RED in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided match.
DITCH RAT slimly lost to TALON in a popular 3 minute gory contest.
RIFT vanquished FEALOST in a action packed 1 minute gruesome one-sided match.
SPAZZ overcame GATEWAY in a popular 2 minute brutal contest.
LONE WOLF was overpowered by KIDNEY in a exciting 1 minute gory uneven fight.
SIR OCCO vanquished VALLISNERIA in a exciting 1 minute one-sided fight.
TYMARIS RAVENSWOOD was vanquished by TICKLES in a 1 minute uneven bout.
BLACK EYE overcame MR. POTATO HEAD in a action packed 2 minute bout.
CITATION was overpowered by SEGALLION SUNDANCER in a 1 minute uneven competition.
PLACES THE LOTION... overpowered PISTON HURRICANE in a 1 minute uneven fight.
GAR & BRILL overpowered MOOSE in a popular 1 minute one-sided match.
BLIND ILLUSION overpowered LIL E. TEE in a popular 5 minute gruesome one-sided bout.
RUTHLESS demolished BROKEN TOE in a 1 minute uneven contest.
HUMMINGBIRD overpowered JOHN LONGSHORE in a exciting 1 minute one-sided struggle.
TEDDY RUXPIN outlasted GAZELLE in a popular 9 minute fray.
PROWESS was subdued by CARRIE NATION in a crowd pleasing 3 minute match.
FRED savagely defeated LAKE SAILOR in a popular 2 minute gory duel.
BATTLE REPORT
MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS
|FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT|
|AIMED BLOW 12 AIMED BLOW 84 - 50 - 1 63 |
|LUNGING ATTACK 12 WALL OF STEEL 47 - 43 - 1 52 |
|WALL OF STEEL 8 LUNGING ATTACK 80 - 77 - 1 51 |
|BASHING ATTACK 8 BASHING ATTACK 40 - 39 - 1 51 |
|STRIKING ATTACK 7 SLASHING ATTACK 41 - 43 - 1 49 |
|SLASHING ATTACK 7 PARRY-LUNGE 8 - 9 - 0 47 |
|TOTAL PARRY 5 TOTAL PARRY 27 - 34 - 0 44 |
|PARRY-LUNGE 2 PARRY-STRIKE 2 - 4 - 0 33 |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE 2 STRIKING ATTACK 21 - 48 - 1 30 |
|PARRY-STRIKE 1 PARRY-RIPOSTE 5 - 12 - 0 29 |
Turn 405 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are:
PARRY-STRIKE 1 - 0 STRIKING ATTACK 3 - 4 4 AIMED BLOW
AIMED BLOW 9 - 3 TOTAL PARRY 2 - 3 3 WALL OF STEEL
WALL OF STEEL 5 - 3 BASHING ATTACK 3 - 5 2 LUNGING ATTACK
PARRY-LUNGE 1 - 1 SLASHING ATTACK 2 - 5 1 SLASHING ATTACK
LUNGING ATTACK 6 - 6 PARRY-RIPOSTE 0 - 2 1 BASHING ATTACK
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE
FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME
WALL OF STEEL CADDY JACKKNIFE 11-4288 35 16 1 287 GERFEL'S FRIENDS (516)
LUNGING ATTACK MOD COD 55-2638 68 88 3 230 RHYME TYME (449)
AIMED BLOW NED THE JANITOR 66-2973 38 31 0 223 ANDORIAN UNIVERSITY (1123)
SLASHING ATTACK ANIJIA ALARA 11-4675 21 11 1 190 MANIACAL TUFTS (1147)
BASHING ATTACK DITCH RAT 82-15360 35 38 5 189 VERMIN! (1267)
STRIKING ATTACK DELICE THE RED 56-3401 60 68 3 179 BAD APPLES (1091)
PARRY-RIPOSTE MR. POTATO HEAD 20-442 29 25 0 117 LORDS OF CHAOS (1320)
TOTAL PARRY BUCK 1-2291 43 94 0 103 MOSSRUNNERS (928)
PARRY-LUNGE SEGALLION SUNDANC 11-4600 26 21 1 100 TUFT TUGGERS (557)
PARRY-STRIKE TEDDY RUXPIN 11-6399 25 18 1 69 LORDS OF CHAOS (1348)
The overall popularity leader is KAIDEN 35-3108. The most popular warrior this turn
was LIL E. TEE 15-4608. The ten other most popular fighters were KAIDEN 35-3108,
SPAZZ 33-6207, NED THE JANITOR 66-2973, FIENDISH GLEE 46-1553, DITCH RAT 82-15360,
CARRIE NATION 64-4054, GAZELLE 56-3701, ARAC IRONFIST 67-1944, BLIND ILLUSION
22-6379, and 50 SUCKS 60-4129.
The least popular fighter this week was PISTON HURRICANE 40-2287. The other ten
least popular fighters were ZLATINA ANGUELOVA 11-4856, BUCK 1-2291, ANIJIA ALARA
11-4675, JOHN LONGSHORE 11-4197, BROKEN TOE 56-3683, MOOSE 56-3459, CITATION 15-3925,
TYMARIS RAVENSWOOD 53-5637, VALLISNERIA 30-3226, and LONE WOLF 31-162.
Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K
MORDANT(1) 1 2 0 IAYE(30) 0 1 0 DELARQ TOR(58) 0 2 0
NIANIA(2) 0 1 0 CHIMLEVTAL(31) 0 2 0 ARADI(60) 1 1 0
BONSUR(7) 1 0 0 NIATOLI ISLAND(33) 1 1 0 KURUKAR(64) 1 0 0
ZUKAL(9) 1 0 0 MURSKA(35) 0 1 0 DAL SHANG(65) 1 0 0
KOLACT(10) 2 1 0 CLIFFHOME(38) 2 0 0 TARRGIR(66) 1 1 0
ARUAK CITY(11) 4 3 0 ZENSU(40) 0 1 0 BARIKALA(67) 0 1 0
RIZTAB(12) 3 1 0 ARDIVENT(46) 1 0 0 DWES EG(82) 3 2 0
MALCORN(15) 1 2 0 KHALHUMS(53) 1 1 0 OLD VALAMANTIS(96) 1 0 0
TALCAMA(18) 1 0 0 KHALANI(55) 1 0 0 SYVYN'S HILL(98) 1 0 0
SEAM(20) 0 1 0 ROCANIS(56) 1 6 0 SOUTH RIDGE(99) 1 1 0
SOLVEN(22) 1 0 0
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
FEALOST 1-3916 47 61 1 144 MOSSRUNNERS (928) MORDANT
PROWESS 2-5155 21 25 0 59 KNOT WHOLE (1333) NIANIA
SUGARBEET 7-5219 25 23 1 72 SUGAR AND SPICE (1231) BONSUR
TICKLES 9-3486 56 79 1 144 MY PETS (554) ZUKAL
QUONSET 10-4990 44 28 0 216 QUBIT (1136) KOLACT
CADDY JACKKNIFE 11-4288 35 16 1 287 GERFEL'S FRIENDS (516) ARUAK CITY
RIFT 12-3922 30 20 1 173 SPIRITUAL GIFT (791) RIZTAB
CITATION 15-3925 20 15 0 84 TRIPLE CROWN (990) MALCORN
TALON 18-7782 35 15 1 195 GET OUTTA MY WAY (1319) TALCAMA
MR. POTATO HEAD 20-442 29 25 0 117 LORDS OF CHAOS (1320) SEAM
BLIND ILLUSION 22-6379 17 15 1 80 MEDIEVAL CHAOS (1342) SOLVEN
VALLISNERIA 30-3226 23 20 1 128 THE GREENHOUSE (1219) IAYE
LONE WOLF 31-162 32 37 1 126 AVENGERS (1321) CHIMLEVTAL
SPAZZ 33-6207 54 52 0 181 SNOTZI'S II (813) NIATOLI ISLAND
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
KAIDEN 35-3108 99 94 2 203 VIOLENT FEMS (972) MURSKA
NUTCRACKER 38-4380 26 21 1 111 ALL FINESSE (1236) CLIFFHOME
PISTON HURRICANE 40-2287 19 10 0 69 AS FAR AS SIAM (1323) ZENSU
FIENDISH GLEE 46-1553 23 14 5 160 CLEVER LINGO (1212) ARDIVENT
TYMARIS RAVENSWOOD 53-5637 27 30 0 124 PUERCO'S PINATA (700) KHALHUMS
MOD COD 55-2638 68 88 3 230 RHYME TYME (449) KHALANI
DELICE THE RED 56-3401 60 68 3 179 BAD APPLES (1091) ROCANIS
HALLIE O'DENE 58-6018 61 80 0 148 CIRQUE DU MASQUES (1093) DELARQ TOR
50 SUCKS 60-4129 83 45 2 194 JOKA MASHER! (833) ARADI
CARRIE NATION 64-4054 54 89 0 77 REFORMERS (1095) KURUKAR
FRED 65-5333 30 13 0 79 MYSTERY MACHINE (1326) DAL SHANG
NED THE JANITOR 66-2973 38 31 0 223 ANDORIAN UNIVERSITY (1123) TARRGIR
ARAC IRONFIST 67-1944 29 21 0 187 RAZOR GRACE (1327) BARIKALA
CREDIT LINE 82-1366 14 24 0 210 WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY (1274 DWES EG
KIDNEY 96-972 16 15 3 147 ORGAN ON THE SANDS (1272) OLD VALAMANTIS
PLACES THE LOTION.. 98-909 15 15 5 107 ARCANE BEACH DAY (1305) SYVYN'S HILL
R IS FOR REPUGNANT 99-1155 21 13 4 184 GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME (1306) SOUTH RIDGE