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Date   : 07/13/2005    Duedate: 07/26/2005

HOME GUARD

DM-101    TURN-406

RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %  RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %
  1 ARCANE BEACH 98/1305  161   89  1 64.4      GERFEL'S FRIENDS 11/516               
    GET OUTTA MY WAY 18/1319                    THE GREENHOUSE 30/1219                
  2 TUFT TUGGERS 11/557   291  191  4 60.4    8 ALL FINESSE 38/1236   101  100  1 50.2
    MANIACAL TUFTS 11/1147                      CLEVER LINGO 46/1212                  
  3 HYBRIDS V 82/1340     328  262  1 55.6      SUGAR AND SPICE 7/1231                
    ATTACK OF THE CLONES 82/1339                MANNEQUIN'S BEST 1/1227               
    4-LETTER NAMES 82/1341                      PERFECTION QUEST II 73/1303           
    GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME 99/1306                9 DARKMOON 12/1197       38   48  0 44.2
    ORGAN ON THE SANDS 96/1272               10 VIOLENT FEMS 35/972   409  554  9 42.5
    WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY 82/1274                JUST BECAUSE 38/1228                  
  4 QUBIT 10/1136         969  805 10 54.6   11 MY PETS 9/554         500  764 13 39.6
    JOKA MASHER! 60/833                         RHYME TYME 55/449                     
    TRIPLE CROWN 15/990                         GIRL SCOUT COOKIES 33/812             
    SIR AGLIO 10/788                         12 REDHORSE 56/1325      162  260  1 38.4
    SPIRITUAL GIFT 12/791                       MOSSRUNNERS 1/928                     
    SNOTZI'S II 33/813                       13 REFORMERS 64/1095     478  793  5 37.6
    KNOT WHOLE 2/1333                           BAD APPLES 56/1091                    
    VERMIN! 82/1267                             CIRQUE DU MASQUES 58/1093             
  5 RAZOR GRACE 67/1327    53   44  0 54.6   14 AVENGERS 31/1321       20   48  0 29.4
    MYSTERY MACHINE 65/1326                     LORDS OF CHAOS 11/1348                
    FRAG 'EM ALL! 66/574                        LORDS OF CHAOS 20/1320                
  6 TWISTED SESA 99/1307  115  102  1 53.0      MEDIEVAL CHAOS 22/1342                
  7 PUERCO'S PINA 53/700  132  119  1 52.6      AS FAR AS SIAM 40/1323                
    ANDORIAN UNIVERSITY 66/1123           

    '##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id     '-'  Team did not fight this turn

                                 THE GUARDIAN'S FORUM
                       Reflections by the Captain of the Guard

Howdy,

Wow, Kaiden really worked me over.  I'll be lucky if my left elbow ever works right 
again.  Ultimately she may not have won, but she did receive a special prize at the 
end of the match: #120!  Way to go, Kaiden... I'm jealous.

So I started my arena career during a tumultuous time in Aruak City.  I had just 
arrived there for the first time (that I remember) from the Isle (yeah, THIS Isle) 
and one of the warriors that had brought me up-an dropped dead in the arena.  Too 
bad, too.  She was a nice girl, if a little dirty.  Then, next thing I know the guy 
who would eventually be my manager, Jhordeal (you may know him as Generalissississimo 
or as Puerco or a combination of those), gets arrested and this other guy that came 
with me from the Isle, Axly, was offering me a job.  If you've never met Axly, I tell 
you he's a hard-case, but I told him "I don't know how to fight!"  He wouldn't hear 
any of that, though.  He told me how he was put in a bad place, managing Gerfel's 
Friends on short notice while the boss was serving time.  I could really do him a 
solid by stepping up, and so on.  The fact was, he did play a part in getting me 
brought back to life (unintentionally, sure, but that's another matter) so I felt I 
owed the man something.  I didn't know how to fight (all I'd ever done before that is 
catch fish with my brothers and cousins off the Raltuman coast) but things just 
seemed to go my way on the sands, I guess you could say.  Truth is I still don't know 
how to fight (just ask Kaiden) but I'm just not smart enough to stop getting back up.

Caddy

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

     Alarond doesn't think Home Guard will ever be the same.  As what?  Some of these 
golems are very confusing, but then, so are the mentalities they're modeled on.

     What a day!  Triple Crown was avoided by Darkmoon.  Buck was most challenged.  
This stuff is news?
     Out of thirty-three fights (a respectable number at present) only four were 
challenge matches (totally wimpy, what is everyone doing, anyway?).  The "longest" 
fight was four minutes, and we had three of those.  Pshaw.  Only one standby fought.  
Nobody died.

     CARRIE NATION (64-4054) (54-89-0,77) of REFORMERS fought PROWESS (2-5155) (21-
25-0,59) of KNOT WHOLE.  CARRIE NATION overpowered PROWESS in an exciting 3 minute 
one-sided struggle.  Has La Nation got it in for the Female Prow, or what?  Can there 
be a little envy here?
     QUIFF (10-4779) (21-11-0,90) of QUBIT fought SWALLOWTAIL (1-7387) (22-11-2,79) 
of MANNEQUIN'S BEST.  QUIFF handily defeated SWALLOWTAIL in an action packed 1 minute 
mismatched match.  Amazing things butterflies get up to these days, even if 
Swallowtail DID lose.  But a word of warning for Quiff:  avoid brick walls in the 
near future.
     HUMMINGBIRD (56-3475) (25-28-0,70) of REDHORSE fought JOHN LONGSHORE (11-4197) 
(24-33-0,37) of TUFT TUGGERS.  HUMMINGBIRD overpowered JOHN LONGSHORE in an exciting 
1 minute gory one-sided fight.  So, John, did you find her single earring (a beak 
cruelly wrenched from a true hummingbird) distracting?  At least she didn't roar at 
you!  It's her teammate Hedgehog who roars.
     ZLATINA ANGUELOVA (11-4856) (26-26-1,90) of TUFT TUGGERS fought SUGARBEET (7-
5219) (25-23-1,72) of SUGAR AND SPICE.  ZLATINA ANGUELOVA viciously subdued SUGARBEET 
in an exciting 3 minute brutal fight.  Viciously?  I don't know what Zlatina has 
against sugarbeets, but I'd like to see her tackling a sugar cane!
     TEDDY RUXPIN (11-6399) (25-18-1,69) of LORDS OF CHAOS fought BROKEN TOE (56-
3683) (24-44-1,51) of REDHORSE.  TEDDY RUXPIN defeated BROKEN TOE in a 2 minute duel.  
And who, you may ask, is this Teddy Ruxpin, that we should sit in the stands in the 
hot sun and watch him?  Dunno, but he's got a sharp way with toes.

     KASENKO (73-4445) (19-7-2,66) of PERFECTION QUEST II fought CROOKED HOOF (56-
3493) (29-19-0,69) of REDHORSE.  KASENKO handily defeated CROOKED HOOF in a popular 1 
minute one-sided duel.  Getting rid of that deformed horse is a good way to begin, or 
continue, if that is the case, a quest for perfection.
     RUTHLESS (15-4591) (25-18-0,80) of TRIPLE CROWN fought SKI MASK (58-5869) (46-
76-0,80) of CIRQUE DU MASQUES.  RUTHLESS handily defeated SKI MASK in an exciting 1 
minute uneven bout.  Thus living up to his name.  The name of Ruthless, not Ski.  
I've never seen a duck ski.  Odd sort of mental image it makes.
     GAR & BRILL (38-4252) (29-54-0,55) of JUST BECAUSE fought LIL E. TEE (15-4608) 
(15-5-1,48) of TRIPLE CROWN.  GAR & BRILL demolished LIL E. TEE in an action packed 1 
minute one-sided melee.  Borse hurgers, anyone?
     KI (31-165) (29-38-1,65) of AVENGERS fought CITATION (15-3925) (20-15-0,84) of 
TRIPLE CROWN.  KI was overpowered by CITATION in a popular 1 minute one-sided duel.  
Hey, any horse that wins the Triple Crown is going to be hard to beat, Ki.
     BLIND ILLUSION (22-6379) (17-15-1,80) of MEDIEVAL CHAOS fought MOOSE (56-3459) 
(16-25-0,33) of REDHORSE.  BLIND ILLUSION was defeated by MOOSE in an exciting 3 
minute duel.  Never fight a moose blind.  They might trip and fall on you.

     MOUNTAIN GOAT (56-3700) (27-37-3,95) of REDHORSE fought PISTON HURRICANE (40-
2287) (19-10-0,69) of AS FAR AS SIAM.  MOUNTAIN GOAT was devastated by PISTON 
HURRICANE in a popular 1 minute one-sided bout.  AND, the Goat never made it to Siam.  
Ah, well, life is full of disappointments.
     AVALYNE WHYTE (11-3270) (22-19-1,91) of TUFT TUGGERS fought GAZELLE (56-3701) 
(22-18-0,55) of REDHORSE.  AVALYNE WHYTE overcame GAZELLE in an action packed 2 
minute duel.  And so I should hope, for reasons I won't go into here because I can't 
find my notes.
     SEGALLION SUNDANCER (11-4600) (26-21-1,100) of TUFT TUGGERS fought FRED (65-
5333) (30-13-0,79) of MYSTERY MACHINE.  SEGALLION SUNDANCER lost to FRED in a popular 
3 minute match.  Very mysterious.
     MR. POTATO HEAD (20-442) (29-25-0,117) of LORDS OF CHAOS fought PLACES THE 
LOTION... (98-909) (15-15-5,107) of ARCANE BEACH DAY.  MR. POTATO HEAD was devastated 
by PLACES THE LOTION... in a 1 minute contest.  Note:  never put arcane lotion on 
potatoes.
     TICKLES (9-3486) (56-79-1,144) of MY PETS fought VALLISNERIA (30-3226) (23-20-
1,128) of THE GREENHOUSE.  TICKLES overpowered VALLISNERIA in a 1 minute mismatched 
fight.  Some plants are very ticklish.

     BLACK EYE (60-6163) (33-20-0,131) of JOKA MASHER! fought SMELLY TOES (82-17409) 
(19-10-0,144) of HYBRIDS V.  BLACK EYE was overpowered by SMELLY TOES in an exciting 
1 minute one-sided match.  No doubt!  Did you know that as soon as Smelly takes off 
his shoes, everyone else leaves the locker room?  Fact.  Except for a couple of 
golems with no olfactory sensors.
     CIARAN (1-7176) (24-16-1,115) of MANNEQUIN'S BEST fought LONE WOLF (31-162) (32-
37-1,126) of AVENGERS.  CIARAN was bested by LONE WOLF in a crowd pleasing 4 minute 
gory brawl.  This is, I doubt not, one of those wolves that are so often found at 
doors, waiting to seize any hapless waif who emerges.
     FEALOST (1-3916) (47-61-1,144) of MOSSRUNNERS fought QUEEN AMAZONIA (12-4796) 
(35-43-1,124) of DARKMOON.  FEALOST devastated QUEEN AMAZONIA in an exciting 1 minute 
uneven duel.  Yep, that forest must be nothing but ashes.  Cold ashes.
     SIR OCCO (10-5079) (33-23-0,170) of SIR AGLIO fought EVE DREWSHADOW (53-6246) 
(24-18-0,123) of PUERCO'S PINATA.  SIR OCCO overpowered EVE DREWSHADOW in a 1 minute 
one-sided duel.  But he did NOT flash her afterward.  Some things are worth losing to 
avoid.  Or winning, if that's what it takes.
     RIFT (12-3922) (30-20-1,173) of SPIRITUAL GIFT fought HALLIE O'DENE (58-6018) 
(61-80-0,148) of CIRQUE DU MASQUES.  RIFT overcame HALLIE O'DENE in a 2 minute 
conflict.  In what way is a rift a spiritual gift, and does Hallie appreciate it?

     DELICE THE RED (56-3401) (60-68-3,179) of BAD APPLES fought BRIARTHORN (12-5671) 
(20-16-1,114) of DARKMOON.  DELICE THE RED subdued BRIARTHORN in a crowd pleasing 2 
minute gory match.  Note that the announcer, contrary to expectations, did not call 
this an uneven match.  This tells me that Briarthorn is a warrior to watch.
     FIENDISH GLEE (46-1553) (23-14-5,160) of CLEVER LINGO fought GATEWAY (82-15631) 
(18-4-0,148) of ATTACK OF THE CLONES.  FIENDISH GLEE was devastated by GATEWAY in a 1 
minute mismatched conflict.  Positively diabolic, eh?
     SPAZZ (33-6207) (54-52-0,181) of SNOTZI'S II fought KAIDEN (35-3108) (99-94-
2,203) of VIOLENT FEMS.  SPAZZ handily defeated KAIDEN in an exciting 1 minute brutal 
one-sided bout.  You know, I think Kaiden is losing her edge.  Somebody do something 
mean to her, quick!
     HARV (82-20046) (18-6-1,203) of 4-LETTER NAMES fought KATRINA (101-9) (0-0-
0,170) of the Local Louts Association.  HARV was overpowered by KATRINA in a 1 minute 
one-sided fight.  And if that isn't embarrassing to Harv, it should be.
     BATTLESTONE (66-2980) (35-27-0,189) of FRAG 'EM ALL! fought CREDIT LINE (82-
1366) (14-24-0,210) of WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY.  BATTLESTONE was vanquished by CREDIT 
LINE in an action packed 1 minute uneven fight.  Money, or the illusion thereof, wins 
the day.

     TALON (18-7782) (35-15-1,195) of GET OUTTA MY WAY fought R IS FOR REPUGNANT (99-
1155) (21-13-4,184) of GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME.  TALON slimly lost to R IS FOR REPUGNANT 
in an action packed 4 minute gruesome melee.  A slim loss?  Would you call Talon 
slim?  Or R, for that matter?  They both look chunky to me.
     ANIJIA ALARA (11-4675) (21-11-1,190) of MANIACAL TUFTS fought DITCH RAT (82-
15360) (35-38-5,189) of VERMIN!  ANIJIA ALARA bested DITCH RAT in a popular 1 minute 
competition.  A task that should be well within the capacity of any cat.
     QUONSET (10-4990) (44-28-0,216) of QUBIT fought ARAC IRONFIST (67-1944) (29-21-
0,187) of RAZOR GRACE.  QUONSET defeated ARAC IRONFIST in an exciting 1 minute 
struggle.  It's that deceptive arc.  You just can't hit Quonset square on, and 
without a square hit, well, forget about it.
     NED THE JANITOR (66-2973) (38-31-0,223) of ANDORIAN UNIVERSITY fought 50 SUCKS 
(60-4129) (83-45-2,194) of JOKA MASHER!  NED THE JANITOR was bested by 50 SUCKS in an 
action packed 4 minute brawl.  Give Mr. 50 a milkshake, folks, he's earned it.

     Challenge matches:
     AGLIBOL (12-5848) (20-8-0,93) of DARKMOON challenged BUCK (1-2291) (43-94-0,103) 
of MOSSRUNNERS.  Up 10.  AGLIBOL viciously subdued BUCK in a popular 2 minute brutal 
Challenge fight.  Great!  Make him wear more clothes.
     EVIL ELMO (99-1222) (21-11-4,119) of TWISTED SESAME challenged KOOKABURRA (33-
4151) (60-83-2,112) of GIRL SCOUT COOKIES.  Down 7.  EVIL ELMO luckily beat 
KOOKABURRA in a 2 minute bloody Challenge duel.  This is fine, except... cookie 
crumbs everywhere.  They'll draw ants, you know.
     And mice.  I hate mice.
     TYMARIS RAVENSWOOD (53-5637) (27-30-0,124) of PUERCO'S PINATA challenged KIDNEY 
(96-972) (16-15-3,147) of ORGAN ON THE SANDS.  Up 23.  TYMARIS RAVENSWOOD was 
vanquished by KIDNEY in a 2 minute uneven Challenge battle.  It was the stones that 
did it.

     And for the title:  CADDY JACKKNIFE (11-4288) (35-16-1,287) of GERFEL'S FRIENDS 
challenged MOD COD (55-2638) (68-88-3,230) of RHYME TYME.  Down 57.  CADDY JACKKNIFE 
slimly won victory over MOD COD in a 2 minute Challenge Title fight.  Filleted cod?  
Congratulations.

And in case you wondered, blood on a purple robe DOES change it from a purple robe.  
It makes it first red, and then a sort of muddy brown.

                                         Olaf

CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD          W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 CADDY JACKKNIFE 11-4288     36  16  1  293  GERFEL'S FRIENDS (516)     ARUAK CITY

GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 CREDIT LINE 82-1366         15  24  0  224  WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY (1274 DWES EG
 QUONSET 10-4990             45  28  0  223  QUBIT (1136)               KOLACT

GRAND CHAMPIONS               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 50 SUCKS 60-4129            84  45  2  209  JOKA MASHER! (833)         ARADI
 R IS FOR REPUGNANT 99-1155  22  13  4  208  GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME (1306)  SOUTH RIDGE
 SPAZZ 33-6207               55  52  0  205  SNOTZI'S II (813)          NIATOLI ISLAND
 NED THE JANITOR 66-2973     38  32  0  203  ANDORIAN UNIVERSITY (1123) TARRGIR
 MOD COD 55-2638             68  89  3  201  RHYME TYME (449)           KHALANI
 ANIJIA ALARA 11-4675        22  11  1  196  MANIACAL TUFTS (1147)      ARUAK CITY
 ARAC IRONFIST 67-1944       29  22  0  189  RAZOR GRACE (1327)         BARIKALA
 DITCH RAT 82-15360          35  39  5  188  VERMIN! (1267)             DWES EG
 TALON 18-7782               35  16  1  187  GET OUTTA MY WAY (1319)    TALCAMA
 BATTLESTONE 66-2980         35  28  0  183  FRAG 'EM ALL! (574)        TARRGIR
 KAIDEN 35-3108              99  95  2  181  VIOLENT FEMS (972)         MURSKA
 DELICE THE RED 56-3401      61  68  3  181  BAD APPLES (1091)          ROCANIS

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 RIFT 12-3922                31  20  1  175  SPIRITUAL GIFT (791)       RIZTAB
 HARV 82-20046               18   7  1  175  4-LETTER NAMES (1341)      DWES EG
 SIR OCCO 10-5079            34  23  0  172  SIR AGLIO (788)            KOLACT
 GATEWAY 82-15631            19   4  0  169  ATTACK OF THE CLONES (1339 DWES EG
 SMELLY TOES 82-17409        20  10  0  159  HYBRIDS V (1340)           DWES EG
 KIDNEY 96-972               17  15  3  154  ORGAN ON THE SANDS (1272)  OLD VALAMANTIS
 TICKLES 9-3486              57  79  1  152  MY PETS (554)              ZUKAL

GRAND ADEPTS                  W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 HALLIE O'DENE 58-6018       61  81  0  150  CIRQUE DU MASQUES (1093)   DELARQ TOR
 FEALOST 1-3916              48  61  1  150  MOSSRUNNERS (928)          MORDANT

GRAND ADEPTS                  W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 FIENDISH GLEE 46-1553       23  15  5  148  CLEVER LINGO (1212)        ARDIVENT
 LONE WOLF 31-162            33  37  1  133  AVENGERS (1321)            CHIMLEVTAL
 EVE DREWSHADOW 53-6246      24  19  0  128  PUERCO'S PINATA (700)      KHALHUMS
 BLACK EYE 60-6163           33  21  0  127  JOKA MASHER! (833)         ARADI
 BRIARTHORN 12-5671          20  17  1  126  DARKMOON (1197)            RIZTAB
 PLACES THE LOTION.. 98-909  16  15  5  125  ARCANE BEACH DAY (1305)    SYVYN'S HILL
 EVIL ELMO 99-1222           22  11  4  123  TWISTED SESAME (1307)      SOUTH RIDGE
 VALLISNERIA 30-3226         23  21  1  122  THE GREENHOUSE (1219)      IAYE
 TYMARIS RAVENSWOOD 53-5637  27  31  0  121  PUERCO'S PINATA (700)      KHALHUMS
 QUEEN AMAZONIA 12-4796      35  44  1  119  DARKMOON (1197)            RIZTAB
 CIARAN 1-7176               24  17  1  116  MANNEQUIN'S BEST (1227)    MORDANT
 KOOKABURRA 33-4151          60  84  2  113  GIRL SCOUT COOKIES (812)   NIATOLI ISLAND
-NUTCRACKER 38-4380          26  21  1  111  ALL FINESSE (1236)         CLIFFHOME
 AGLIBOL 12-5848             21   8  0  106  DARKMOON (1197)            RIZTAB
 MR. POTATO HEAD 20-442      29  26  0  102  LORDS OF CHAOS (1320)      SEAM

GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 FRED 65-5333                31  13  0  100  MYSTERY MACHINE (1326)     DAL SHANG
 QUIFF 10-4779               22  11  0  100  QUBIT (1136)               KOLACT
 BUCK 1-2291                 43  95  0   96  MOSSRUNNERS (928)          MORDANT
 ZLATINA ANGUELOVA 11-4856   27  26  1   94  TUFT TUGGERS (557)         ARUAK CITY
 AVALYNE WHYTE 11-3270       23  19  1   93  TUFT TUGGERS (557)         ARUAK CITY
 PISTON HURRICANE 40-2287    20  10  0   93  AS FAR AS SIAM (1323)      ZENSU
 SEGALLION SUNDANCE 11-4600  26  22  1   92  TUFT TUGGERS (557)         ARUAK CITY
 RUTHLESS 15-4591            26  18  0   91  TRIPLE CROWN (990)         MALCORN

GRAND INITIATES               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 CITATION 15-3925            21  15  0   90  TRIPLE CROWN (990)         MALCORN
 CARRIE NATION 64-4054       55  89  0   85  REFORMERS (1095)           KURUKAR
 KASENKO 73-4445             20   7  2   84  PERFECTION QUEST II (1303) ERINIKA
 MOUNTAIN GOAT 56-3700       27  38  3   75  REDHORSE (1325)            ROCANIS
 HUMMINGBIRD 56-3475         26  28  0   75  REDHORSE (1325)            ROCANIS
 SWALLOWTAIL 1-7387          22  12  2   75  MANNEQUIN'S BEST (1227)    MORDANT
 SUGARBEET 7-5219            25  24  1   73  SUGAR AND SPICE (1231)     BONSUR
 SKI MASK 58-5869            46  77  0   72  CIRQUE DU MASQUES (1093)   DELARQ TOR
 TEDDY RUXPIN 11-6399        26  18  1   71  LORDS OF CHAOS (1348)      ARUAK CITY
 GAR & BRILL 38-4252         30  54  0   69  JUST BECAUSE (1228)        CLIFFHOME
 MOOSE 56-3459               17  25  0   66  REDHORSE (1325)            ROCANIS
 KI 31-165                   29  39  1   62  AVENGERS (1321)            CHIMLEVTAL
 CROOKED HOOF 56-3493        29  20  0   60  REDHORSE (1325)            ROCANIS
 GAZELLE 56-3701             22  19  0   60  REDHORSE (1325)            ROCANIS
 BROKEN TOE 56-3683          24  45  1   54  REDHORSE (1325)            ROCANIS
 PROWESS 2-5155              21  26  0   54  KNOT WHOLE (1333)          NIANIA
 BLIND ILLUSION 22-6379      17  16  1   52  MEDIEVAL CHAOS (1342)      SOLVEN
 LIL E. TEE 15-4608          15   6  1   40  TRIPLE CROWN (990)         MALCORN
 JOHN LONGSHORE 11-4197      24  34  0   35  TUFT TUGGERS (557)         ARUAK CITY

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                    W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY              TURN

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

Caddy -- Dang, those are sweet stats!  Do you wear stilts to reach 8'3"!!!  You know, 
I'm not sure I'd want to tangle with you even if our managers gave it a thumbs up!  
Wooo!!! -- Anij

That was way too many personals from us last turn.  Anij, stop that! -- Tankesh

     I won't say there's no such thing as "too many personals," but we haven't
     reached that point yet. -- Olaf

Hummingbird -- Did we just duel... again?  Maybe we can just do some rock-paper-
scissors next time and I'll let you know ahead of time which one I'll be doing.  I 
like rock personally. -- Dr. Longshore
P.S. I've got a few other things I like to say during fight too, but I usually don't 
last long enough to quip.

Hallie -- Say what?  You get written over by somebody moving or something like that?!  
You're twisted! -- Tankesh

Olaf -- Yes, I am the resident Geologist on campus. -- Dr. John Longshore

Delice the Red -- Well, I'd like to find out how much of a BAD apple you really are.  
Can I have a taste?  <wink> -- Tankesh

Nutcracker -- You whupped my ass!  When is the NHL going to start up again... sheesh.  
I need to watch somebody else getting whupped other than me... -- Zlatina

Ski Mask -- Three words: Peking Duck!  Yum! -- Avalyne

I can't believe you just said that!  It sounds like me!! -- Anij

Citation -- Looks like I'm writing the tickets these days. -- Segallion

Buck -- Ugh.  Was that necessary?  You should never be allowed out of your armor...
-- Tymaris

Buck -- I'm next, aren't I? *cringe* -- Eve

50 Sucks -- I slumped--I don't deny it--but with that win I'm back!  What a rush! -- 
Ned

Eve Drewshadow -- You didn't teach me any skills but I taught you three.  Want to 
learn something else?  (opening raincoat)   Check it out. -- Buck

Briarthorn -- That's a pretty mean weapon you've got there. -- Mountain Goat

Aglibol -- The parry skill I learned was the one I should have used to stop you 
impaling me through the jaw.   Ow! -- Crooked Hoof

Rift -- It seemed like my whole guild served as target dummies this past turn, but I 
was the dummiest.  If only my manager would let me quit! -- Fealost

     You can't go back to your forest, it burned down.

Gar & Brill -- Woo!  Thanks for showing me all those cool moves! -- Moose
P.S.  Are you a boy or a girl?  You look like a boy to me, but you should tell the 
Commission.

Ruthless -- I don't think that new rating they gave you is going to help. -- Broken 
Toe

John Longshore -- Are you here as a teacher or as a student?  Because you've got that 
nice win-heavy little record, but you also teach great. -- Hummingbird

Teddy Ruxpin -- Well, I guess if I was going to win I should have done it in the 
first minute.  After that it was too close to tell until you won in the ninth.  Good 
fight!  You've got some endurance, all right. -- Gazelle

Fiendish Glee -- (gasping and panting)  That was cruel, to crow with such, you will 
pardon the expression, fiendish glee when you defeated me! -- Hallie O'Dene
P.S.  Good work on the fight, though.

Avalyne Whyte -- It is amazing, and I will say somewhat disconcerting, to find that, 
though you are unquestionably a mammal, there is something almost... ducklike in your 
grace.  How can it be?  You have no wings, your legs are too long and your feet too 
small, and your mouth... a mere slit, lined with cruel teeth!  And yet....  Can it be 
that I have spent too long among mammals?  Am I being contaminated by mammalian 
perceptions?  Horrors!  I must seek out a Duck of the opposite gender and reaffirm my 
species-hood! -- Ski Mask, perturbed President of Ducks with Swords

Credit Line -- That is, indeed, a lovable thing about you.  Spend a little more of it 
on me, please. -- Delice the Red and Expensive

Prowess -- Fie, madam!  Fie, I say.  Your size, while it does give you some 
superficial cushioning against the effects of vile spirits, does not truly protect 
you.  Cease to imbibe them, young fool! -- Carrie Nation

The purveyors of vile stimulants should be ASHAMED of themselves! -- Carrie Nation
P.S.  Do I get a cut of their take?

Segallion -- What good's an opinion if you don't share it? -- Carrie Nation the 
honestly perplexed
P.S.  And everyone knows that opinions need to be aired periodically or they get 
stale and start to mildew.

Anij -- Don't tell me you're a Duck? -- Carrie Nation

27 June 2005
ATTENTION ALL YOU ALLIANCE-TYPE PEOPLE:
For the purposes of tourney newsletter alliance listings (when I am able to do them),
you may only be listed in ONE alliance.  In other words, you have to choose!  If you
are a part of Englebert's Alliance and Englebert's Alliance is "part" of Ruthrauf's
Alliance, I will list you EITHER as part of Englebert's Alliance OR as part of
Ruthrauf's Alliance, NOT both.  The default would be the top-level alliance,
Ruthrauf's, in this example.  If you'd rather be listed separately, let me know and I
will do so, but that will be the only listing you get. -- The Saint, keeper of ever-
more-complicated lists

29 Jun 2005
The Company of Brothers (TCB) welcomes two new members to our alliance...Liam the
Goth and Buddy Lee.  We have no doubt that they will prove to be assets to our
alliance and the general dueling community. -- Baphomet, co-founder, T.C.B.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

CADDY JACKKNIFE slimly won victory over MOD COD in a 2 minute Challenge Title fight.
TYMARIS RAVENSWOOD was vanquished by KIDNEY in a 2 minute uneven Challenge battle.
EVIL ELMO luckily beat KOOKABURRA in a 2 minute bloody Challenge duel.
AGLIBOL viciously subdued BUCK in a popular 2 minute brutal Challenge fight.
NED THE JANITOR was bested by 50 SUCKS in a action packed 4 minute brawl.
QUONSET defeated ARAC IRONFIST in a exciting 1 minute struggle.
ANIJIA ALARA bested DITCH RAT in a popular 1 minute competition.
TALON slimly lost to R IS FOR REPUGNANT in a action packed 4 minute gruesome melee.
BATTLESTONE was vanquished by CREDIT LINE in a action packed 1 minute uneven fight.
HARV was overpowered by KATRINA in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
SPAZZ handily defeated KAIDEN in a exciting 1 minute brutal one-sided bout.
FIENDISH GLEE was devastated by GATEWAY in a 1 minute mismatched conflict.
DELICE THE RED subdued BRIARTHORN in a crowd pleasing 2 minute gory match.
RIFT overcame HALLIE O'DENE in a 2 minute conflict.
SIR OCCO overpowered EVE DREWSHADOW in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
FEALOST devastated QUEEN AMAZONIA in a exciting 1 minute uneven duel.
CIARAN was bested by LONE WOLF in a crowd pleasing 4 minute gory brawl.
BLACK EYE was overpowered by SMELLY TOES in a exciting 1 minute one-sided match.
TICKLES overpowered VALLISNERIA in a 1 minute mismatched fight.
MR. POTATO HEAD was devastated by PLACES THE LOTION... in a 1 minute contest.
SEGALLION SUNDANCER lost to FRED in a popular 3 minute match.
AVALYNE WHYTE overcame GAZELLE in a action packed 2 minute duel.
MOUNTAIN GOAT was devastated by PISTON HURRICANE in a popular 1 minute one-sided bout.
BLIND ILLUSION was defeated by MOOSE in a exciting 3 minute duel.
KI was overpowered by CITATION in a popular 1 minute one-sided duel.
GAR & BRILL demolished LIL E. TEE in a action packed 1 minute one-sided melee.
RUTHLESS handily defeated SKI MASK in a exciting 1 minute uneven bout.
KASENKO handily defeated CROOKED HOOF in a popular 1 minute one-sided duel.
TEDDY RUXPIN defeated BROKEN TOE in a 2 minute duel.
ZLATINA ANGUELOVA viciously subdued SUGARBEET in a exciting 3 minute brutal fight.
HUMMINGBIRD overpowered JOHN LONGSHORE in a exciting 1 minute gory one-sided fight.
QUIFF handily defeated SWALLOWTAIL in a action packed 1 minute mismatched match.
CARRIE NATION overpowered PROWESS in a exciting 3 minute one-sided struggle.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  12         AIMED BLOW        85 -  49 -  1      63  |
|AIMED BLOW                      11         WALL OF STEEL     50 -  38 -  1      57  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    8         SLASHING ATTACK   42 -  41 -  1      51  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   8         LUNGING ATTACK    73 -  78 -  0      48  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  7         BASHING ATTACK    35 -  43 -  0      45  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  7         PARRY-STRIKE       3 -   4 -  0      43  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      5         PARRY-LUNGE        7 -  10 -  0      41  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    4         TOTAL PARRY       24 -  36 -  0      40  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      2         STRIKING ATTACK   26 -  41 -  1      39  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         PARRY-RIPOSTE      5 -  14 -  0      26  |

Turn 406 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  0     LUNGING ATTACK     4 -  8         4  AIMED BLOW     
STRIKING ATTACK    7 -  0     PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  3         2  WALL OF STEEL  
AIMED BLOW         7 -  4     BASHING ATTACK     2 -  6         2  BASHING ATTACK 
WALL OF STEEL      5 -  3     TOTAL PARRY        1 -  4         2  SLASHING ATTACK
SLASHING ATTACK    4 -  3     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  2         1  LUNGING ATTACK 

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
WALL OF STEEL    CADDY JACKKNIFE 11-4288    36  16  1  293 GERFEL'S FRIENDS (516)
AIMED BLOW       CREDIT LINE 82-1366        15  24  0  224 WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY (1274)
BASHING ATTACK   SPAZZ 33-6207              55  52  0  205 SNOTZI'S II (813)
LUNGING ATTACK   MOD COD 55-2638            68  89  3  201 RHYME TYME (449)
SLASHING ATTACK  ANIJIA ALARA 11-4675       22  11  1  196 MANIACAL TUFTS (1147)
STRIKING ATTACK  DELICE THE RED 56-3401     61  68  3  181 BAD APPLES (1091)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    MR. POTATO HEAD 20-442     29  26  0  102 LORDS OF CHAOS (1320)
TOTAL PARRY      FRED 65-5333               31  13  0  100 MYSTERY MACHINE (1326)
PARRY-LUNGE      SEGALLION SUNDANC 11-4600  26  22  1   92 TUFT TUGGERS (557)
PARRY-STRIKE     TEDDY RUXPIN 11-6399       26  18  1   71 LORDS OF CHAOS (1348)

The overall popularity leader is KAIDEN 35-3108.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was AGLIBOL 12-5848.  The ten other most popular fighters were MOOSE 56-3459, CIARAN 
1-7176, KIDNEY 96-972, R IS FOR REPUGNANT 99-1155, DELICE THE RED 56-3401, SEGALLION 
SUNDANCER 11-4600, CARRIE NATION 64-4054, 50 SUCKS 60-4129, HUMMINGBIRD 56-3475, and 
CREDIT LINE 82-1366.

The least popular fighter this week was MOUNTAIN GOAT 56-3700.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were VALLISNERIA 30-3226, EVE DREWSHADOW 53-6246, FIENDISH GLEE 
46-1553, HARV 82-20046, SWALLOWTAIL 1-7387, JOHN LONGSHORE 11-4197, CROOKED HOOF 
56-3493, SKI MASK 58-5869, LIL E. TEE 15-4608, and KI 31-165.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
MORDANT(1)           1  3 0  IAYE(30)             0  1 0  ARADI(60)            1  1 0  
NIANIA(2)            0  1 0  CHIMLEVTAL(31)       1  1 0  KURUKAR(64)          1  0 0  
BONSUR(7)            0  1 0  NIATOLI ISLAND(33)   1  1 0  DAL SHANG(65)        1  0 0  
ZUKAL(9)             1  0 0  MURSKA(35)           0  1 0  TARRGIR(66)          0  2 0  
KOLACT(10)           3  0 0  CLIFFHOME(38)        1  0 0  BARIKALA(67)         0  1 0  
ARUAK CITY(11)       5  2 0  ZENSU(40)            1  0 0  ERINIKA(73)          1  0 0  
RIZTAB(12)           2  2 0  ARDIVENT(46)         0  1 0  DWES EG(82)          3  2 0  
MALCORN(15)          2  1 0  KHALHUMS(53)         0  2 0  OLD VALAMANTIS(96)   1  0 0  
TALCAMA(18)          0  1 0  KHALANI(55)          0  1 0  SYVYN'S HILL(98)     1  0 0  
SEAM(20)             0  1 0  ROCANIS(56)          3  4 0  SOUTH RIDGE(99)      2  0 0  
SOLVEN(22)           0  1 0  DELARQ TOR(58)       0  2 0  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 FEALOST 1-3916              48  61  1  150  MOSSRUNNERS (928)          MORDANT
 PROWESS 2-5155              21  26  0   54  KNOT WHOLE (1333)          NIANIA
 SUGARBEET 7-5219            25  24  1   73  SUGAR AND SPICE (1231)     BONSUR
 TICKLES 9-3486              57  79  1  152  MY PETS (554)              ZUKAL
 QUONSET 10-4990             45  28  0  223  QUBIT (1136)               KOLACT
 CADDY JACKKNIFE 11-4288     36  16  1  293  GERFEL'S FRIENDS (516)     ARUAK CITY
 RIFT 12-3922                31  20  1  175  SPIRITUAL GIFT (791)       RIZTAB
 RUTHLESS 15-4591            26  18  0   91  TRIPLE CROWN (990)         MALCORN
 TALON 18-7782               35  16  1  187  GET OUTTA MY WAY (1319)    TALCAMA
 MR. POTATO HEAD 20-442      29  26  0  102  LORDS OF CHAOS (1320)      SEAM
 BLIND ILLUSION 22-6379      17  16  1   52  MEDIEVAL CHAOS (1342)      SOLVEN
 VALLISNERIA 30-3226         23  21  1  122  THE GREENHOUSE (1219)      IAYE
 LONE WOLF 31-162            33  37  1  133  AVENGERS (1321)            CHIMLEVTAL
 SPAZZ 33-6207               55  52  0  205  SNOTZI'S II (813)          NIATOLI ISLAND
 KAIDEN 35-3108              99  95  2  181  VIOLENT FEMS (972)         MURSKA
 GAR & BRILL 38-4252         30  54  0   69  JUST BECAUSE (1228)        CLIFFHOME
 PISTON HURRICANE 40-2287    20  10  0   93  AS FAR AS SIAM (1323)      ZENSU
 FIENDISH GLEE 46-1553       23  15  5  148  CLEVER LINGO (1212)        ARDIVENT
 EVE DREWSHADOW 53-6246      24  19  0  128  PUERCO'S PINATA (700)      KHALHUMS
 MOD COD 55-2638             68  89  3  201  RHYME TYME (449)           KHALANI
 DELICE THE RED 56-3401      61  68  3  181  BAD APPLES (1091)          ROCANIS
 HALLIE O'DENE 58-6018       61  81  0  150  CIRQUE DU MASQUES (1093)   DELARQ TOR
 50 SUCKS 60-4129            84  45  2  209  JOKA MASHER! (833)         ARADI
 CARRIE NATION 64-4054       55  89  0   85  REFORMERS (1095)           KURUKAR
 FRED 65-5333                31  13  0  100  MYSTERY MACHINE (1326)     DAL SHANG
 NED THE JANITOR 66-2973     38  32  0  203  ANDORIAN UNIVERSITY (1123) TARRGIR
 ARAC IRONFIST 67-1944       29  22  0  189  RAZOR GRACE (1327)         BARIKALA
 KASENKO 73-4445             20   7  2   84  PERFECTION QUEST II (1303) ERINIKA
 CREDIT LINE 82-1366         15  24  0  224  WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY (1274 DWES EG
 KIDNEY 96-972               17  15  3  154  ORGAN ON THE SANDS (1272)  OLD VALAMANTIS
 PLACES THE LOTION.. 98-909  16  15  5  125  ARCANE BEACH DAY (1305)    SYVYN'S HILL
 R IS FOR REPUGNANT 99-1155  22  13  4  208  GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME (1306)  SOUTH RIDGE