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Date   : 07/27/2005    Duedate: 08/09/2005

HOME GUARD

DM-101    TURN-407

RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %  RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %
  1 ARCANE BEACH 98/1305  163   89  1 64.7      GERFEL'S FRIENDS 11/516               
    GET OUTTA MY WAY 18/1319                    THE GREENHOUSE 30/1219                
  2 TUFT TUGGERS 11/557   294  193  4 60.4    8 ALL FINESSE 38/1236   104  102  1 50.5
    MANIACAL TUFTS 11/1147                      PERFECTION QUEST II 73/1303           
  3 HYBRIDS V 82/1340     332  264  1 55.7      SUGAR AND SPICE 7/1231                
    4-LETTER NAMES 82/1341                      MANNEQUIN'S BEST 1/1227               
    ATTACK OF THE CLONES 82/1339                CLEVER LINGO 46/1212                  
    GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME 99/1306                9 DARKMOON 12/1197       40   49  0 44.9
    WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY 82/1274             10 VIOLENT FEMS 35/972   409  556  9 42.4
    ORGAN ON THE SANDS 96/1272                  JUST BECAUSE 38/1228                  
  4 RAZOR GRACE 67/1327    55   45  0 55.0   11 MY PETS 9/554         501  766 13 39.5
    FRAG 'EM ALL! 66/574                        RHYME TYME 55/449                     
    MYSTERY MACHINE 65/1326                     GIRL SCOUT COOKIES 33/812             
  5 QUBIT 10/1136         976  810 10 54.6   12 REDHORSE 56/1325      166  264  1 38.6
    JOKA MASHER! 60/833                         MOSSRUNNERS 1/928                     
    TRIPLE CROWN 15/990                      13 REFORMERS 64/1095     479  796  5 37.6
    SIR AGLIO 10/788                            BAD APPLES 56/1091                    
    SPIRITUAL GIFT 12/791                       CIRQUE DU MASQUES 58/1093             
    SNOTZI'S II 33/813                       14 AVENGERS 31/1321       23   52  0 30.7
    KNOT WHOLE 2/1333                           LORDS OF CHAOS 11/1348                
    VERMIN! 82/1267                             LORDS OF CHAOS 20/1320                
  6 TWISTED SESA 99/1307  115  103  1 52.8      MEDIEVAL CHAOS 22/1342                
  7 PUERCO'S PINA 53/700  133  123  1 52.0      AS FAR AS SIAM 40/1323                
    ANDORIAN UNIVERSITY 66/1123                 UNDER JOLLY ROGER 7/1351              

    '##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id     '-'  Team did not fight this turn

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

     The Alarond golem again!  Have they no imagination?  Couldn't we have had a GOOD 
golem, such as... the Olaf Modeen golem?  Although they never get me really right.  
All that stuff about medications, bah!  What do I need with medications?  I'm already 
dead, which is just about perfect.  You think not?  You should try it some time.  
Whatever, here we are again.  Another day, another nine-ninety-five plus tax.  (You 
can't get much for a dollar anymore.)
     Quite a few fights, as these things are measured at the moment, probably lots of 
warriors tuning up for the tournament.  That's this weekend, as I'm sure you all 
know.  Hmm, thirty-four fights, with two standbys.  So, sixty-six warriors active 
here in Home Guard.  I won't say it's a record, but it isn't bad.  Eight challenges 
matches, all of the ordinary variety.  I expect you people to bring us back a couple 
of TVs from the tourney.  People are looking down on us, calling us puds and tyros.  
Huh, what do THEY know?  The finest of the Old Reliables and the hottest of the Young 
Bloods, that's what we've got here.
     I see that Qubit was Most Avoided by Gerfel's Friends, and not without cause.  
More of that, as they say, "anon."  And I don't mean anonymously.  Weird stuff, 
language.
     "Everyone" was after Kookaburra, or at least, more than were after some OTHER 
cookie.
     And nobody died.  I take that as a good sign, though I know, even if you don't, 
that there's nothing wrong with dying.  It's the resurrection that's a mistake.

     With which all said, here are the fights.
     TEDDY RUXPIN (11-6399) (26-18-1,71) of LORDS OF CHAOS fought LAKE SAILOR (101-2) 
(0-0-0,30) of the College of Mimes.  TEDDY RUXPIN beat LAKE SAILOR in a 2 minute gory 
fray.  A little TOO gory and frayed this time; I think we'll need to get a new Lake 
Sailor.  Not that it's a problem:  a visit to the waterfront bars, a few drinks 
poured down unsuspecting throats, and the next thing you know, there's a signature on 
the contract.
     GAZELLE (56-3701) (22-19-0,60) of REDHORSE fought BLIND ILLUSION (22-6379) (17-
16-1,52) of MEDIEVAL CHAOS.  GAZELLE devastated BLIND ILLUSION in a crowd pleasing 5 
minute one-sided battle.  FIVE minutes?  What did you do, stand around drinking beer?
     MOOSE (56-3459) (17-25-0,66) of REDHORSE fought KI (31-165) (29-39-1,62) of 
AVENGERS.  MOOSE was demolished by KI in a 2 minute gory uneven contest.  And what, 
we all wonder, has the Moose done that drew down vengeance on his head?  Or antlers, 
as the case might be.
     BROKEN TOE (56-3683) (24-45-1,54) of REDHORSE fought YAKKO (7-3266) (17-15-0,66) 
of UNDER JOLLY ROGER.  BROKEN TOE beat YAKKO in a 1 minute fray.  One thing you can 
be sure of with Broken Toe, even when he wins, he doesn't kick.
     MOUNTAIN GOAT (56-3700) (27-38-3,75) of REDHORSE fought PROWESS (2-5155) (21-26-
0,54) of KNOT WHOLE.  MOUNTAIN GOAT was defeated by PROWESS in an exciting 2 minute 
bout.  That wasn't a pair of mountains, Goat, and you got what you deserved for 
thinking it.

     PISTON HURRICANE (40-2287) (20-10-0,93) of AS FAR AS SIAM fought JOHN LONGSHORE 
(11-4197) (24-34-0,35) of TUFT TUGGERS.  PISTON HURRICANE overpowered JOHN LONGSHORE 
in a 1 minute one-sided match.  Ah, but John, think how good he'd be as a jackhammer 
knocking loose geological samples!
     RUTHLESS (15-4591) (26-18-0,91) of TRIPLE CROWN fought GAR & BRILL (38-4252) 
(30-54-0,69) of JUST BECAUSE.  RUTHLESS vanquished GAR & BRILL in a 1 minute one-
sided fray.  Ruthlessly, of course.  What could you expect, after Gar offered him a 
brilled horse-burger?
     FRED (65-5333) (31-13-0,100) of MYSTERY MACHINE fought CITATION (15-3925) (21-
15-0,90) of TRIPLE CROWN.  FRED beat CITATION in a popular 3 minute fight.  He tears 
up traffic tickets, too.
     AVALYNE WHYTE (11-3270) (23-19-1,93) of TUFT TUGGERS fought LIL E. TEE (15-4608) 
(15-6-1,40) of TRIPLE CROWN.  AVALYNE WHYTE handily defeated LIL E. TEE in an action 
packed 1 minute mismatched bout.  Anybody surprised?  When the handicapper messes up, 
he does it THOROUGHLY.
     QUIFF (10-4779) (22-11-0,100) of QUBIT fought CROOKED HOOF (56-3493) (29-20-
0,60) of REDHORSE.  QUIFF overpowered CROOKED HOOF in a popular 1 minute uneven duel.  
With a Crooked Hoof, he couldn't run away, after all.

     AGLIBOL (12-5848) (21-8-0,106) of DARKMOON fought ZLATINA ANGUELOVA (11-4856) 
(27-26-1,94) of TUFT TUGGERS.  AGLIBOL vanquished ZLATINA ANGUELOVA in an exciting 2 
minute gruesome one-sided fight.  Does "one-sided fight" mean that Aglibol only hit 
Zlatina on one side?
     VALLISNERIA (30-3226) (23-21-1,122) of THE GREENHOUSE fought BRIARTHORN (12-
5671) (20-17-1,126) of DARKMOON.  VALLISNERIA overpowered BRIARTHORN in an exciting 1 
minute gory uneven fight.  Well, look, I wasn't excited.  Couple of plants flailing 
at each other, who's going to get stirred up about it?
     LONE WOLF (31-162) (33-37-1,133) of AVENGERS fought BUCK (1-2291) (43-95-0,96) 
of MOSSRUNNERS.  LONE WOLF was handily defeated by BUCK in an exciting 1 minute one-
sided contest.  But the defeat wasn't the worst part, it was what came afterward.
     TYMARIS RAVENSWOOD (53-5637) (27-31-0,121) of PUERCO'S PINATA fought SEGALLION 
SUNDANCER (11-4600) (26-22-1,92) of TUFT TUGGERS.  TYMARIS RAVENSWOOD was beaten by 
SEGALLION SUNDANCER in an action packed 2 minute fray.  Hey, it's the season of the 
sun.
     RIFT (12-3922) (31-20-1,175) of SPIRITUAL GIFT fought IRON-PLATED IRV (101-10) 
(0-0-0,150) of the College of Mimes.  RIFT was luckily beaten by IRON-PLATED IRV in 
an action packed 3 minute brutal fight.  So who's been feeding Irv meat?

     SIR OCCO (10-5079) (34-23-0,172) of SIR AGLIO fought MR. POTATO HEAD (20-442) 
(29-26-0,102) of LORDS OF CHAOS.  SIR OCCO handily defeated MR. POTATO HEAD in a 1 
minute mismatched competition.  I guess potatoes just can't take that dry heat.
     GATEWAY (82-15631) (19-4-0,169) of ATTACK OF THE CLONES fought EVE DREWSHADOW 
(53-6246) (24-19-0,128) of PUERCO'S PINATA.  GATEWAY overpowered EVE DREWSHADOW in a 
popular 1 minute one-sided bout.  Listen, you guys, it's really hard to come up with 
new things to say week after week.  How about something more interesting than a "one-
sided bout" next time?
     TICKLES (9-3486) (57-79-1,152) of MY PETS fought BLACK EYE (60-6163) (33-21-
0,127) of JOKA MASHER!  TICKLES was viciously subdued by BLACK EYE in an exciting 2 
minute brutal fight.  There's something ris-kay in this, but I'm not supposed to say 
it out loud.  You guys will have to figure it out for yourselves.
     DELICE THE RED (56-3401) (61-68-3,181) of BAD APPLES fought SMELLY TOES (82-
17409) (20-10-0,159) of HYBRIDS V.  DELICE THE RED was overpowered by SMELLY TOES in 
a 1 minute mismatched brawl.  Yep, we'll probably hear about her delicate nose next 
time.  And to tell you the truth, *I* could smell those toes, and I don't have much 
sense of smell what with being dead and all.
     DITCH RAT (82-15360) (35-39-5,188) of VERMIN! fought MOD COD (55-2638) (68-89-
3,201) of RHYME TYME.  DITCH RAT was overpowered by MOD COD in an action packed 1 
minute uneven struggle.  Yes, fine, but what was the fish doing in the ditch in the 
first place?

     ARAC IRONFIST (67-1944) (29-22-0,189) of RAZOR GRACE fought KIDNEY (96-972) (17-
15-3,154) of ORGAN ON THE SANDS.  ARAC IRONFIST handily defeated KIDNEY in an action 
packed 1 minute one-sided conflict.  Steaked it down.
     BATTLESTONE (66-2980) (35-28-0,183) of FRAG 'EM ALL! fought SPAZZ (33-6207) (55-
52-0,205) of SNOTZI'S II.  BATTLESTONE was demolished by SPAZZ in a popular 1 minute 
mismatched match.  Very hard to second-guess, Spazz is.  Makes it hard to fight 'im.
     NED THE JANITOR (66-2973) (38-32-0,203) of ANDORIAN UNIVERSITY fought HARV (82-
20046) (18-7-1,175) of 4-LETTER NAMES.  NED THE JANITOR was demolished by HARV in a 1 
minute mismatched competition.  So, I'm not saying there was a broom involved, mind 
you, but Ned really cleaned things up out there.
     50 SUCKS (60-4129) (84-45-2,209) of JOKA MASHER! fought ANIJIA ALARA (11-4675) 
(22-11-1,196) of MANIACAL TUFTS.  50 SUCKS was viciously subdued by ANIJIA ALARA in a 
popular 2 minute brutal bout.  Thus proving 50's point.
     CREDIT LINE (82-1366) (15-24-0,224) of WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY fought KAIDEN (35-
3108) (99-95-2,181) of VIOLENT FEMS.  CREDIT LINE overpowered KAIDEN in a 1 minute 
one-sided fight.  Does Kaiden love him for it?

     And the challenge matches:
     SWALLOWTAIL (1-7387) (22-12-2,75) of MANNEQUIN'S BEST challenged HUMMINGBIRD 
(56-3475) (26-28-0,75) of REDHORSE.  Straight across.  SWALLOWTAIL was vanquished by 
HUMMINGBIRD in a 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.  Better watch out, Hummingbird, 
'cause Swallowtail could throw a Brick Wall at you.
     SUGARBEET (7-5219) (25-24-1,73) of SUGAR AND SPICE challenged SKI MASK (58-5869) 
(46-77-0,72) of CIRQUE DU MASQUES.  Down 1.  SUGARBEET overcame SKI MASK in an action 
packed 2 minute gruesome Challenge fight.  A sugar-glazed roast duck?  Duck in 
borscht?
     KASENKO (73-4445) (20-7-2,84) of PERFECTION QUEST II challenged CARRIE NATION 
(64-4054) (55-89-0,85) of REFORMERS.  Up 1.  KASENKO was bested by CARRIE NATION in a 
crowd pleasing 1 minute Challenge match.  Too bad Ms. Nation always insists on 
imparting her dietary advice along with any skills.
     EVIL ELMO (99-1222) (22-11-4,123) of TWISTED SESAME challenged QUEEN AMAZONIA 
(12-4796) (35-44-1,119) of DARKMOON.  Down 4.  EVIL ELMO was viciously subdued by 
QUEEN AMAZONIA in a 1 minute Challenge brawl.  Quite right.  That's the kind of 
things queens are supposed to do.

     FIENDISH GLEE (46-1553) (23-15-5,148) of CLEVER LINGO challenged HALLIE O'DENE 
(58-6018) (61-81-0,150) of CIRQUE DU MASQUES.  Up 2.  FIENDISH GLEE savagely defeated 
HALLIE O'DENE in a 2 minute brutal Challenge fight.  And laughed.  Laughed like 
anything.  Like, well, a loon or, you know, a hyena, or any other laughing sort of 
thing.
     CIARAN (1-7176) (24-17-1,116) of MANNEQUIN'S BEST challenged KOOKABURRA (33-
4151) (60-84-2,113) of GIRL SCOUT COOKIES.  Down 3.  CIARAN won victory over 
KOOKABURRA in a crowd pleasing 2 minute Challenge brawl.  That Cookie is now CRUMBS.
     PLACES THE LOTION... (98-909) (16-15-5,125) of ARCANE BEACH DAY challenged 
FEALOST (1-3916) (48-61-1,150) of MOSSRUNNERS.  Up 25.  PLACES THE LOTION... savagely 
defeated FEALOST in an exciting 3 minute Challenge melee.  I specially liked the part 
where the Arcane guy placed the lotion on the arenamaster's face and rubbed it in 
well....
     TALON (18-7782) (35-16-1,187) of GET OUTTA MY WAY challenged R IS FOR REPUGNANT 
(99-1155) (22-13-4,208) of GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME.  Up 21.  TALON viciously subdued R IS 
FOR REPUGNANT in a 3 minute Challenge fight.  Not only repugnant, but pungent.  Whew!

     And for the title (you can see why Gerfel's Gang was avoiding):
     CADDY JACKKNIFE (11-4288) (36-16-1,293) of GERFEL'S FRIENDS fought QUONSET (10-
4990) (45-28-0,223) of QUBIT.  CADDY JACKKNIFE was defeated by QUONSET in an action 
packed 1 minute Title duel.  Assorted congratulations and condolences, and I'm outta 
here for another two weeks.  Maybe I'll see you at the Tourney, if you're there and 
I'm sober.

                                        Olaf

CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD          W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 QUONSET 10-4990             46  28  0  239  QUBIT (1136)               KOLACT

GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 CREDIT LINE 82-1366         16  24  0  232  WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY (1274 DWES EG
 ANIJIA ALARA 11-4675        23  11  1  226  MANIACAL TUFTS (1147)      ARUAK CITY
 SPAZZ 33-6207               56  52  0  216  SNOTZI'S II (813)          NIATOLI ISLAND

GRAND CHAMPIONS               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 MOD COD 55-2638             69  89  3  209  RHYME TYME (449)           KHALANI
 TALON 18-7782               36  16  1  207  GET OUTTA MY WAY (1319)    TALCAMA
 HARV 82-20046               19   7  1  202  4-LETTER NAMES (1341)      DWES EG
 CADDY JACKKNIFE 11-4288     36  17  1  200  GERFEL'S FRIENDS (516)     ARUAK CITY
 50 SUCKS 60-4129            84  46  2  196  JOKA MASHER! (833)         ARADI
 R IS FOR REPUGNANT 99-1155  22  14  4  194  GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME (1306)  SOUTH RIDGE
 ARAC IRONFIST 67-1944       30  22  0  192  RAZOR GRACE (1327)         BARIKALA
 DITCH RAT 82-15360          35  40  5  181  VERMIN! (1267)             DWES EG

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 NED THE JANITOR 66-2973     38  33  0  180  ANDORIAN UNIVERSITY (1123) TARRGIR
 SMELLY TOES 82-17409        21  10  0  180  HYBRIDS V (1340)           DWES EG
 BATTLESTONE 66-2980         35  29  0  178  FRAG 'EM ALL! (574)        TARRGIR
 KAIDEN 35-3108              99  96  2  176  VIOLENT FEMS (972)         MURSKA
 SIR OCCO 10-5079            35  23  0  174  SIR AGLIO (788)            KOLACT
 GATEWAY 82-15631            20   4  0  173  ATTACK OF THE CLONES (1339 DWES EG
 DELICE THE RED 56-3401      61  69  3  163  BAD APPLES (1091)          ROCANIS
 RIFT 12-3922                31  21  1  160  SPIRITUAL GIFT (791)       RIZTAB
 FIENDISH GLEE 46-1553       24  15  5  155  CLEVER LINGO (1212)        ARDIVENT
 KIDNEY 96-972               17  16  3  155  ORGAN ON THE SANDS (1272)  OLD VALAMANTIS

GRAND ADEPTS                  W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 BLACK EYE 60-6163           34  21  0  148  JOKA MASHER! (833)         ARADI
 HALLIE O'DENE 58-6018       61  82  0  146  CIRQUE DU MASQUES (1093)   DELARQ TOR
 PLACES THE LOTION.. 98-909  17  15  5  146  ARCANE BEACH DAY (1305)    SYVYN'S HILL
 TICKLES 9-3486              57  80  1  138  MY PETS (554)              ZUKAL
 VALLISNERIA 30-3226         24  21  1  137  THE GREENHOUSE (1219)      IAYE
 FEALOST 1-3916              48  62  1  134  MOSSRUNNERS (928)          MORDANT
 QUEEN AMAZONIA 12-4796      36  44  1  133  DARKMOON (1197)            RIZTAB
 EVE DREWSHADOW 53-6246      24  20  0  132  PUERCO'S PINATA (700)      KHALHUMS
 BUCK 1-2291                 44  95  0  125  MOSSRUNNERS (928)          MORDANT
 CIARAN 1-7176               25  17  1  123  MANNEQUIN'S BEST (1227)    MORDANT
 AGLIBOL 12-5848             22   8  0  117  DARKMOON (1197)            RIZTAB
 EVIL ELMO 99-1222           22  12  4  116  TWISTED SESAME (1307)      SOUTH RIDGE
 SEGALLION SUNDANCE 11-4600  27  22  1  115  TUFT TUGGERS (557)         ARUAK CITY
 BRIARTHORN 12-5671          20  18  1  115  DARKMOON (1197)            RIZTAB

GRAND ADEPTS                  W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 KOOKABURRA 33-4151          60  85  2  114  GIRL SCOUT COOKIES (812)   NIATOLI ISLAND
 MR. POTATO HEAD 20-442      29  27  0  113  LORDS OF CHAOS (1320)      SEAM
-NUTCRACKER 38-4380          26  21  1  111  ALL FINESSE (1236)         CLIFFHOME
 FRED 65-5333                32  13  0  106  MYSTERY MACHINE (1326)     DAL SHANG
 QUIFF 10-4779               23  11  0  106  QUBIT (1136)               KOLACT
 LONE WOLF 31-162            33  38  1  104  AVENGERS (1321)            CHIMLEVTAL
-HEDGEHOG 56-3748            26  26  0  103  REDHORSE (1325)            ROCANIS
 TYMARIS RAVENSWOOD 53-5637  27  32  0  102  PUERCO'S PINATA (700)      KHALHUMS

GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 CARRIE NATION 64-4054       56  89  0   98  REFORMERS (1095)           KURUKAR
 AVALYNE WHYTE 11-3270       24  19  1   96  TUFT TUGGERS (557)         ARUAK CITY
 RUTHLESS 15-4591            27  18  0   95  TRIPLE CROWN (990)         MALCORN
 PISTON HURRICANE 40-2287    21  10  0   95  AS FAR AS SIAM (1323)      ZENSU
 ZLATINA ANGUELOVA 11-4856   27  27  1   91  TUFT TUGGERS (557)         ARUAK CITY

GRAND INITIATES               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 HUMMINGBIRD 56-3475         27  28  0   90  REDHORSE (1325)            ROCANIS
 CITATION 15-3925            21  16  0   90  TRIPLE CROWN (990)         MALCORN
 SUGARBEET 7-5219            26  24  1   81  SUGAR AND SPICE (1231)     BONSUR
 KASENKO 73-4445             20   8  2   79  PERFECTION QUEST II (1303) ERINIKA
-BLOODY NOSE 52-3175         20  15  1   76  OTTO'S PARTS (892)         FRATSFA
 KI 31-165                   30  39  1   75  AVENGERS (1321)            CHIMLEVTAL
 TEDDY RUXPIN 11-6399        27  18  1   73  LORDS OF CHAOS (1348)      ARUAK CITY
 GAZELLE 56-3701             23  19  0   72  REDHORSE (1325)            ROCANIS
 SKI MASK 58-5869            46  78  0   71  CIRQUE DU MASQUES (1093)   DELARQ TOR
 PROWESS 2-5155              22  26  0   70  KNOT WHOLE (1333)          NIANIA
 GAR & BRILL 38-4252         30  55  0   67  JUST BECAUSE (1228)        CLIFFHOME
 BROKEN TOE 56-3683          25  45  1   66  REDHORSE (1325)            ROCANIS
 SWALLOWTAIL 1-7387          22  13  2   65  MANNEQUIN'S BEST (1227)    MORDANT
 CROOKED HOOF 56-3493        29  21  0   63  REDHORSE (1325)            ROCANIS
 MOUNTAIN GOAT 56-3700       27  39  3   62  REDHORSE (1325)            ROCANIS
 YAKKO 7-3266                17  16  0   55  UNDER JOLLY ROGER (1351)   BONSUR
 MOOSE 56-3459               17  26  0   54  REDHORSE (1325)            ROCANIS
 BLIND ILLUSION 22-6379      17  17  1   46  MEDIEVAL CHAOS (1342)      SOLVEN
 LIL E. TEE 15-4608          15   7  1   44  TRIPLE CROWN (990)         MALCORN
-DILL WEED 7-5241            13   5  0   44  SUGAR AND SPICE (1231)     BONSUR
 JOHN LONGSHORE 11-4197      24  35  0   43  TUFT TUGGERS (557)         ARUAK CITY

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                    W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY              TURN

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

Vallisneria -- For learns like that, the two of us ought to tango more often!  Eight 
skills in one fight...awesome! -- Sir Occo

R Is For... -- Refrigerator, silly.  You move like one. -- Quonset

     Of course!

Ned The Janitor -- Couldn't you have eased up a bit when you saw me whiten with the 
pain of the wounds?  I threw that in in minute five, but it was to no avail. -- 50 
Sucks, and counting

Anij -- Well, somehow (no surprise to me) I got above you.  Now, then, you gonna do 
something about it, or just whimper alone in a corner? -- Quonset

Briathorn -- You know, that approach needs a little work.  Sure, a woman likes a 
close embrace from a suitable member of the opposite gender, but the thorns... well, 

they were a mistake.  Mind you, the "never let you go" bit is appealing, at least 
sometimes (although here on the Isle, "never" may be a little too long), but the 
thorns... no. -- Delice the Red

Rift -- I'm not sure that I can see that as....  No, maybe I can see it as a gift.  
After all, the poet says that it's a rift that eventually shuts up the damned 
ukelele, and THAT is a gift to everyone within earshot. -- Hallie O'Dene

Ruthless -- Wretched HORSE!  You would probably trample EGGS, even!  May an eagle eat 
your liver! -- Ski Mask

Prowess -- Young woman, pay attention!  That "prow" is not a barrel or tun to be 
filled with spiritous liquors!  Sober up!  Early to rise, and five times around the 
arena at a trot in full armor!  One, two! -- Carrie Nation

Tankesh -- Yep.  Like a corkscrew. -- Hallie O'Dene, with a real crick in her neck

Tankesh -- Absolutely! -- Delice the Red

Tankesh and Delice -- Watch out, or you may find yourself together in a story! -- the 
Scribe, getting back to work

27 June 2005
ATTENTION ALL YOU ALLIANCE-TYPE PEOPLE:
For the purposes of tourney newsletter alliance listings (when I am able to do them),
you may only be listed in ONE alliance.  In other words, you have to choose!  If you
are a part of Englebert's Alliance and Englebert's Alliance is "part" of Ruthrauf's
Alliance, I will list you EITHER as part of Englebert's Alliance OR as part of
Ruthrauf's Alliance, NOT both.  The default would be the top-level alliance,
Ruthrauf's, in this example.  If you'd rather be listed separately, let me know and I
will do so, but that will be the only listing you get. -- The Saint, keeper of ever-
more-complicated lists

29 Jun 2005
The Company of Brothers (TCB) welcomes two new members to our alliance...Liam the
Goth and Buddy Lee.  We have no doubt that they will prove to be assets to our
alliance and the general dueling community. -- Baphomet, co-founder, T.C.B.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

TALON viciously subdued R IS FOR REPUGNANT in a 3 minute Challenge fight.
PLACES THE LOTION... savagely defeated FEALOST in a exciting 3 minute Challenge melee.
CIARAN won victory over KOOKABURRA in a crowd pleasing 2 minute Challenge brawl.
FIENDISH GLEE savagely defeated HALLIE O'DENE in a 2 minute brutal Challenge fight.
EVIL ELMO was viciously subdued by QUEEN AMAZONIA in a 1 minute Challenge brawl.
KASENKO was bested by CARRIE NATION in a crowd pleasing 1 minute Challenge match.
SUGARBEET overcame SKI MASK in a action packed 2 minute gruesome Challenge fight.
SWALLOWTAIL was vanquished by HUMMINGBIRD in a 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
CADDY JACKKNIFE was defeated by QUONSET in a action packed 1 minute Title duel.
CREDIT LINE overpowered KAIDEN in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
50 SUCKS was viciously subdued by ANIJIA ALARA in a popular 2 minute brutal bout.
NED THE JANITOR was demolished by HARV in a 1 minute mismatched competition.
BATTLESTONE was demolished by SPAZZ in a popular 1 minute mismatched match.
ARAC IRONFIST handily defeated KIDNEY in a action packed 1 minute one-sided conflict.
DITCH RAT was overpowered by MOD COD in a action packed 1 minute uneven struggle.
DELICE THE RED was overpowered by SMELLY TOES in a 1 minute mismatched brawl.
TICKLES was viciously subdued by BLACK EYE in a exciting 2 minute brutal fight.
GATEWAY overpowered EVE DREWSHADOW in a popular 1 minute one-sided bout.
SIR OCCO handily defeated MR. POTATO HEAD in a 1 minute mismatched competition.
RIFT was luckily beaten by IRON-PLATED IRV in a action packed 3 minute brutal fight.
TYMARIS RAVENSWOOD was beaten by SEGALLION SUNDANCER in a action packed 2 minute fray.
LONE WOLF was handily defeated by BUCK in a exciting 1 minute one-sided contest.
VALLISNERIA overpowered BRIARTHORN in a exciting 1 minute gory uneven fight.
AGLIBOL vanquished ZLATINA ANGUELOVA in a exciting 2 minute gruesome one-sided fight.
QUIFF overpowered CROOKED HOOF in a popular 1 minute uneven duel.
AVALYNE WHYTE handily defeated LIL E. TEE in a action packed 1 minute mismatched bout.
FRED beat CITATION in a popular 3 minute fight.
RUTHLESS vanquished GAR & BRILL in a 1 minute one-sided fray.
PISTON HURRICANE overpowered JOHN LONGSHORE in a 1 minute one-sided match.
MOUNTAIN GOAT was defeated by PROWESS in a exciting 2 minute bout.
BROKEN TOE beat YAKKO in a 1 minute fray.
MOOSE was demolished by KI in a 2 minute gory uneven contest.
GAZELLE devastated BLIND ILLUSION in a crowd pleasing 5 minute one-sided battle.
TEDDY RUXPIN beat LAKE SAILOR in a 2 minute gory fray.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  12         AIMED BLOW        85 -  48 -  1      64  |
|AIMED BLOW                      11         WALL OF STEEL     47 -  42 -  1      53  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   8         SLASHING ATTACK   43 -  39 -  1      52  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    8         PARRY-STRIKE       4 -   4 -  0      50  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  8         LUNGING ATTACK    72 -  72 -  0      50  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  7         PARRY-LUNGE        9 -  10 -  0      47  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      5         TOTAL PARRY       26 -  32 -  0      45  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    4         BASHING ATTACK    33 -  46 -  0      42  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      2         STRIKING ATTACK   25 -  42 -  1      37  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         PARRY-RIPOSTE      5 -  18 -  0      22  |

Turn 407 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-LUNGE        2 -  0     BASHING ATTACK     3 -  5         4  AIMED BLOW     
PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  0     WALL OF STEEL      2 -  6         3  WALL OF STEEL  
SLASHING ATTACK    6 -  1     STRIKING ATTACK    1 -  7         2  SLASHING ATTACK
TOTAL PARRY        4 -  1     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  4         1  BASHING ATTACK 
AIMED BLOW         7 -  4                                       1  LUNGING ATTACK 
LUNGING ATTACK     7 -  5     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
AIMED BLOW       QUONSET 10-4990            46  28  0  239 QUBIT (1136)
SLASHING ATTACK  ANIJIA ALARA 11-4675       23  11  1  226 MANIACAL TUFTS (1147)
BASHING ATTACK   SPAZZ 33-6207              56  52  0  216 SNOTZI'S II (813)
LUNGING ATTACK   MOD COD 55-2638            69  89  3  209 RHYME TYME (449)
WALL OF STEEL    TALON 18-7782              36  16  1  207 GET OUTTA MY WAY (1319)
STRIKING ATTACK  DELICE THE RED 56-3401     61  69  3  163 BAD APPLES (1091)
TOTAL PARRY      BUCK 1-2291                44  95  0  125 MOSSRUNNERS (928)
PARRY-LUNGE      SEGALLION SUNDANC 11-4600  27  22  1  115 TUFT TUGGERS (557)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    MR. POTATO HEAD 20-442     29  27  0  113 LORDS OF CHAOS (1320)
PARRY-STRIKE     TEDDY RUXPIN 11-6399       27  18  1   73 LORDS OF CHAOS (1348)

The overall popularity leader is KAIDEN 35-3108.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was PLACES THE LOTION... 98-909.  The ten other most popular fighters were RIFT 
12-3922, ANIJIA ALARA 11-4675, CITATION 15-3925, SKI MASK 58-5869, GAZELLE 56-3701, 
TALON 18-7782, BLACK EYE 60-6163, MOUNTAIN GOAT 56-3700, CIARAN 1-7176, and 
KOOKABURRA 33-4151.

The least popular fighter this week was JOHN LONGSHORE 11-4197.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were MR. POTATO HEAD 20-442, EVE DREWSHADOW 53-6246, DELICE THE RED 
56-3401, KAIDEN 35-3108, SWALLOWTAIL 1-7387, MOOSE 56-3459, YAKKO 7-3266, GAR & BRILL 
38-4252, LIL E. TEE 15-4608, and CROOKED HOOF 56-3493.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
MORDANT(1)           2  2 0  IAYE(30)             1  0 0  ARADI(60)            1  1 0  
NIANIA(2)            1  0 0  CHIMLEVTAL(31)       1  1 0  KURUKAR(64)          1  0 0  
BONSUR(7)            1  1 0  NIATOLI ISLAND(33)   1  1 0  DAL SHANG(65)        1  0 0  
ZUKAL(9)             0  1 0  MURSKA(35)           0  1 0  TARRGIR(66)          0  2 0  
KOLACT(10)           3  0 0  CLIFFHOME(38)        0  1 0  BARIKALA(67)         1  0 0  
ARUAK CITY(11)       4  3 0  ZENSU(40)            1  0 0  ERINIKA(73)          0  1 0  
RIZTAB(12)           2  2 0  ARDIVENT(46)         1  0 0  DWES EG(82)          4  1 0  
MALCORN(15)          1  2 0  KHALHUMS(53)         0  2 0  OLD VALAMANTIS(96)   0  1 0  
TALCAMA(18)          1  0 0  KHALANI(55)          1  0 0  SYVYN'S HILL(98)     1  0 0  
SEAM(20)             0  1 0  ROCANIS(56)          3  4 0  SOUTH RIDGE(99)      0  2 0  
SOLVEN(22)           0  1 0  DELARQ TOR(58)       0  2 0  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 FEALOST 1-3916              48  62  1  134  MOSSRUNNERS (928)          MORDANT
 PROWESS 2-5155              22  26  0   70  KNOT WHOLE (1333)          NIANIA
 SUGARBEET 7-5219            26  24  1   81  SUGAR AND SPICE (1231)     BONSUR
 TICKLES 9-3486              57  80  1  138  MY PETS (554)              ZUKAL
 QUONSET 10-4990             46  28  0  239  QUBIT (1136)               KOLACT
 ANIJIA ALARA 11-4675        23  11  1  226  MANIACAL TUFTS (1147)      ARUAK CITY
 RIFT 12-3922                31  21  1  160  SPIRITUAL GIFT (791)       RIZTAB
 RUTHLESS 15-4591            27  18  0   95  TRIPLE CROWN (990)         MALCORN
 TALON 18-7782               36  16  1  207  GET OUTTA MY WAY (1319)    TALCAMA
 MR. POTATO HEAD 20-442      29  27  0  113  LORDS OF CHAOS (1320)      SEAM
 BLIND ILLUSION 22-6379      17  17  1   46  MEDIEVAL CHAOS (1342)      SOLVEN
 VALLISNERIA 30-3226         24  21  1  137  THE GREENHOUSE (1219)      IAYE
 LONE WOLF 31-162            33  38  1  104  AVENGERS (1321)            CHIMLEVTAL
 SPAZZ 33-6207               56  52  0  216  SNOTZI'S II (813)          NIATOLI ISLAND
 KAIDEN 35-3108              99  96  2  176  VIOLENT FEMS (972)         MURSKA
 GAR & BRILL 38-4252         30  55  0   67  JUST BECAUSE (1228)        CLIFFHOME
 PISTON HURRICANE 40-2287    21  10  0   95  AS FAR AS SIAM (1323)      ZENSU
 FIENDISH GLEE 46-1553       24  15  5  155  CLEVER LINGO (1212)        ARDIVENT
 EVE DREWSHADOW 53-6246      24  20  0  132  PUERCO'S PINATA (700)      KHALHUMS
 MOD COD 55-2638             69  89  3  209  RHYME TYME (449)           KHALANI
 DELICE THE RED 56-3401      61  69  3  163  BAD APPLES (1091)          ROCANIS
 HALLIE O'DENE 58-6018       61  82  0  146  CIRQUE DU MASQUES (1093)   DELARQ TOR
 50 SUCKS 60-4129            84  46  2  196  JOKA MASHER! (833)         ARADI
 CARRIE NATION 64-4054       56  89  0   98  REFORMERS (1095)           KURUKAR
 FRED 65-5333                32  13  0  106  MYSTERY MACHINE (1326)     DAL SHANG
 NED THE JANITOR 66-2973     38  33  0  180  ANDORIAN UNIVERSITY (1123) TARRGIR
 ARAC IRONFIST 67-1944       30  22  0  192  RAZOR GRACE (1327)         BARIKALA
 KASENKO 73-4445             20   8  2   79  PERFECTION QUEST II (1303) ERINIKA
 CREDIT LINE 82-1366         16  24  0  232  WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY (1274 DWES EG
 KIDNEY 96-972               17  16  3  155  ORGAN ON THE SANDS (1272)  OLD VALAMANTIS
 PLACES THE LOTION.. 98-909  17  15  5  146  ARCANE BEACH DAY (1305)    SYVYN'S HILL
 R IS FOR REPUGNANT 99-1155  22  14  4  194  GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME (1306)  SOUTH RIDGE