AD

Date   : 08/24/2005    Duedate: 09/06/2005

HOME GUARD

DM-101    TURN-409

RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %  RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %
  1-ARCANE BEACH 98/1305  163   89  1 64.7      THE GREENHOUSE 30/1219                
    GET OUTTA MY WAY 18/1319                    THE FURIOUS FIVE 46/1121              
  2 TUFT TUGGERS 11/557   299  198  4 60.2    8-CHAPEL ROCK 59/1352   722  689 10 51.2
    MANIACAL TUFTS 11/1147                    9 CLEVER LINGO 46/1212  109  107  1 50.5
  3 HYBRIDS V 82/1340     339  265  1 56.1      SUGAR AND SPICE 7/1231                
    ATTACK OF THE CLONES 82/1339                MANNEQUIN'S BEST 1/1227               
    4-LETTER NAMES 82/1341                      PERFECTION QUEST II 73/1303           
    GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME 99/1306               10 DARKMOON 12/1197       41   54  0 43.2
    WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY 82/1274             11 VIOLENT FEMS 35/972   411  558  9 42.4
    ORGAN ON THE SANDS 96/1272                  JUST BECAUSE 38/1228                  
  4 RAZOR GRACE 67/1327    58   48  0 54.7   12 MY PETS 9/554         504  769 14 39.6
    FRAG 'EM ALL! 66/574                        RHYME TYME 55/449                     
    MYSTERY MACHINE 65/1326                     GIRL SCOUT COOKIES 33/812             
  5 QUBIT 10/1136         987  822 10 54.6   13 REDHORSE 56/1325      176  270  1 39.5
    JOKA MASHER! 60/833                         MOSSRUNNERS 1/928                     
    TRIPLE CROWN 15/990                      14 REFORMERS 64/1095     480  803  5 37.4
    SIR AGLIO 10/788                            BAD APPLES 56/1091                    
    SPIRITUAL GIFT 12/791                       CIRQUE DU MASQUES 58/1093             
    SNOTZI'S II 33/813                       15 AVENGERS 31/1321       30   59  0 33.7
    VERMIN! 82/1267                             LORDS OF CHAOS 11/1348                
    KNOT WHOLE 2/1333                           UNDER JOLLY ROGER 7/1351              
  6 TWISTED SESA 99/1307  116  104  1 52.7      MEDIEVAL CHAOS 22/1342                
  7 PUERCO'S PINA 53/700  137  125  1 52.3      LORDS OF CHAOS 20/1320                
    ANDORIAN UNIVERSITY 66/1123                 AS FAR AS SIAM 40/1323                
    GERFEL'S FRIENDS 11/516               

    '##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id     '-'  Team did not fight this turn

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

     Damned golem!  Going around talking about being dead like me, and all it REALLY 
is, is a golem made out of dead body parts.  A damned IMPOSTOR, courtesy (if you 
could call it a courtesy!) of Vickie Frankston, the Commission's Mad Scientiste.  
Don't pay any attention to that dude-oid.

     THIS is the real news.
     Thirty-two fights, which isn't bad, considering.  Two standbys fought, but hey, 
they need the work.  And the workout.
     Four challenges, which is.  Bad, I mean.  Were all the rest of you asleep at the 
switch, or strategy-drafting table, if that is more appropriate.  Or did your 
challenges just run head-to-head against avoids and fall through?  Not that there was 
much avoiding going on here.  In fact, now that I check the records, I find that NO 
avoids were issued.  This is definitely careless on the part of the managers--there 
are bound to be warriors out there that other warriors would just as soon not meet.  
Hallie O'Dene got the most challenges, which I would guess was two.

     Still, there were the fights, so let's take a look at them.
     MOOSE (56-3459) (18-26-0,75) of REDHORSE fought B&G BOUNCER (101-3) (0-0-0,30) 
of the Louts Local 101.  MOOSE overpowered B&G BOUNCER in an exciting 1 minute bloody 
one-sided struggle.  Aha!  A moose can go where a duck does not tread.  Good to know.
     PROWESS (2-5155) (22-27-0,52) of KNOT WHOLE fought CROOKED HOOF (56-3493) (29-
22-0,57) of REDHORSE.  PROWESS was subdued by CROOKED HOOF in an action packed 2 
minute contest.  What can we say about Crooked, who was NOT distracted by that 
splendid female Prow?
     GAZELLE (56-3701) (24-19-0,89) of REDHORSE fought MEAN SPIRIT (101-5) (0-0-0,70) 
of the Louts Local 101.  GAZELLE overpowered MEAN SPIRIT in a 2 minute gruesome one-
sided bout.  I should hope so!  There's a lot too much meanness around here, and too 
many spirits who aren't in bottles, which is where spirits SHOULD be.  Thirty-proof.
     BLACK EYES (46-2820) (15-11-0,56) of THE FURIOUS FIVE fought YAKKO (7-3266) (18-
16-0,71) of UNDER JOLLY ROGER.  BLACK EYES demolished YAKKO in a 1 minute one-sided 
fight.  And the question inevitably arises, is Yakko jolly now?  Inquiring Minds want 
to know, but hey, those Inquiring Minds are SUCH nosey parkers!
     BLIND ILLUSION (22-6379) (18-17-1,53) of MEDIEVAL CHAOS fought BROKEN TOE (56-
3683) (25-46-1,51) of REDHORSE.  BLIND ILLUSION was overcome by BROKEN TOE in an 
exciting 2 minute fight.  It must have been a great illusion to hold Broken's 
attention so completely.  Too bad the rest of us didn't get a glimpse, it might have 
been entertaining.  You never now.

     CITATION (15-3925) (21-17-0,66) of TRIPLE CROWN fought GAR & BRILL (38-4252) 
(30-56-0,59) of JUST BECAUSE.  CITATION overpowered GAR & BRILL in a 1 minute uneven 
fight.  Why?  Oh... just because.
     LIL E. TEE (15-4608) (15-8-1,52) of TRIPLE CROWN fought SUGARBEET (7-5219) (26-
25-1,67) of SUGAR AND SPICE.  LIL E. TEE was handily defeated by SUGARBEET in a 1 
minute one-sided duel.  It was the sugar rush that did in Lil.  Tricky things, sugar 
rushes.
     HUMMINGBIRD (56-3475) (28-28-0,100) of REDHORSE fought JOHN LONGSHORE (11-4197) 
(24-36-0,40) of TUFT TUGGERS.  HUMMINGBIRD viciously subdued JOHN LONGSHORE in an 
action packed 1 minute brutal bout.  I find it hard to associate hummingbirds with 
"vicious" and "brutal."  But the vicious and brutal were there, so maybe the warrior 
needs a new name?  Something like... Screaming Vulture?
     SIR PLUTZ (10-5207) (20-31-2,93) of SIR AGLIO fought KI (31-165) (31-39-1,83) of 
AVENGERS.  SIR PLUTZ was overpowered by KI in an exciting 1 minute gruesome uneven 
match.  Were you excited?  I wasn't excited.  I was too busy being deafened by the 
shouting.  All that "Hi-YA!" stuff.
     PISTON HURRICANE (40-2287) (21-11-0,98) of AS FAR AS SIAM fought RUTHLESS (15-
4591) (27-19-0,82) of TRIPLE CROWN.  PISTON HURRICANE was vanquished by RUTHLESS in a 
1 minute one-sided match.  Hey, you didn't think Ruthless was named by accident, did 
you?

     LONE WOLF (31-162) (33-39-1,97) of AVENGERS fought SKI MASK (58-5869) (46-79-
0,40) of CIRQUE DU MASQUES.  LONE WOLF demolished SKI MASK in a 1 minute one-sided 
fight.  Can one wolf eat a whole duck?  YES!
     ZLATINA ANGUELOVA (11-4856) (28-27-1,100) of TUFT TUGGERS fought MOUNTAIN GOAT 
(56-3700) (28-39-3,90) of REDHORSE.  ZLATINA ANGUELOVA lost to MOUNTAIN GOAT in a 
crowd pleasing 2 minute gory fray.  What, butted off a cliff?  Since when do we have 
a cliff in the arena here?
     EVIL ELMO (99-1222) (22-13-4,110) of TWISTED SESAME fought BRIARTHORN (12-5671) 
(20-19-1,103) of DARKMOON.  EVIL ELMO narrowly defeated BRIARTHORN in a 2 minute 
gruesome bout.  How narrow is narrow, anyway?
     AVALYNE WHYTE (11-3270) (25-19-1,126) of TUFT TUGGERS fought VALLISNERIA (30-
3226) (24-21-1,137) of THE GREENHOUSE.  AVALYNE WHYTE overpowered VALLISNERIA in a 1 
minute uneven fight.  AND, Avalyne can kill houseplants!
     FRED (65-5333) (33-13-0,115) of MYSTERY MACHINE fought MR. POTATO HEAD (20-442) 
(29-28-0,120) of LORDS OF CHAOS.  FRED outwaited MR. POTATO HEAD in a crowd pleasing 
10 minute competition. Sure, a baked potato takes time, but if you're prepared to 
wait, and you have plenty of sour cream, well, it's hard to beat.

     EVE DREWSHADOW (53-6246) (24-20-0,132) of PUERCO'S PINATA fought KOOKABURRA (33-
4151) (61-85-2,121) of GIRL SCOUT COOKIES.  EVE DREWSHADOW was executed by KOOKABURRA 
in a 1 minute one-sided match.  That is one mean cookie there.
     QUIFF (10-4779) (24-11-0,123) of QUBIT fought QUEEN AMAZONIA (12-4796) (36-45-
1,124) of DARKMOON.  QUIFF overpowered QUEEN AMAZONIA in a 1 minute one-sided match.  
Would it help if somebody quested to get your girdle back from Hercules?  But I never 
could see why a woman would wear a girdle.
     FEALOST (1-3916) (48-63-1,107) of MOSSRUNNERS fought BLACK EYE (60-6163) (35-21-
0,150) of JOKA MASHER!  FEALOST was overpowered by BLACK EYE in a crowd pleasing 1 
minute mismatched brawl.  Wait a minute, didn't we have another black eye earlier on?  
Are there actually MULTIPLE black eyes around here?
     BUCK (1-2291) (44-96-0,117) of MOSSRUNNERS fought SEGALLION SUNDANCER (11-4600) 
(28-22-1,128) of TUFT TUGGERS.  BUCK was savagely defeated by SEGALLION SUNDANCER in 
a 2 minute struggle.  Huh, flashed the wrong guy, did you, Buck?
     DELICE THE RED (56-3401) (61-70-3,157) of BAD APPLES fought CIARAN (1-7176) (25-
18-1,129) of MANNEQUIN'S BEST.  DELICE THE RED was overpowered by CIARAN in a popular 
1 minute mismatched conflict.  This apple is definitely no good.

     NED THE JANITOR (66-2973) (38-33-0,180) of ANDORIAN UNIVERSITY fought AGLIBOL 
(12-5848) (23-8-0,133) of DARKMOON.  NED THE (ex)-JANITOR devastated AGLIBOL in a 
crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided battle.  Ned doesn't like it when people litter, 
even though he doesn't have to clean it up any more.  So remember, Aglibol, don't go 
dropping your initiatives on the sands, or your counter-strikes, either.
     BATTLESTONE (66-2980) (35-30-0,169) of FRAG 'EM ALL! fought RIFT (12-3922) (31-
22-1,158) of SPIRITUAL GIFT.  BATTLESTONE was demolished by RIFT in a crowd pleasing 
1 minute mismatched match.  Stones are vulnerable to rifts and splits.  Everyone 
knows that.
     KAIDEN (35-3108) (100-96-2,178) of VIOLENT FEMS fought TICKLES (9-3486) (58-80-
1,148) of MY PETS.  KAIDEN overpowered TICKLES in a popular 1 minute one-sided melee.  
Violently.  It's her thing.
     50 SUCKS (60-4129) (84-47-2,190) of JOKA MASHER! fought GATEWAY (82-15631) (21-
4-0,175) of ATTACK OF THE CLONES.  50 SUCKS slimly won victory over GATEWAY in a 
popular 4 minute gory duel.  Slimly.  Does that mean that if it had only been 49, it 
would have lost?

     ANIJIA ALARA (11-4675) (23-12-1,195) of MANIACAL TUFTS fought SMELLY TOES (82-
17409) (22-10-0,191) of HYBRIDS V.  ANIJIA ALARA was vanquished by SMELLY TOES in an 
action packed 1 minute uneven duel.  Somebody's gotta get this Toes guy some foot 
powder.  It's getting so everybody leaves the arena as he steps out.  And he's 
probably a health hazard, too.
     MOD COD (55-2638) (69-90-3,188) of RHYME TYME fought CADDY JACKKNIFE (11-4288) 
(36-17-1,200) of GERFEL'S FRIENDS.  MOD COD was unbelievably bested by CADDY 
JACKKNIFE in a popular 2 minute competition.  Filetted cod.
     HARV (82-20046) (20-7-1,233) of 4-LETTER NAMES fought ARAC IRONFIST (67-1944) 
(31-22-0,207) of RAZOR GRACE.  HARV vanquished ARAC IRONFIST in an exciting 1 minute 
mismatched fight.  A guy can get tired of being pounded by an iron fist.  Heavy 
things, iron fists, especially when they don't even have a velvet glove on 'em.

     SWALLOWTAIL (1-7387) (23-13-2,78) of MANNEQUIN'S BEST challenged CARRIE NATION 
(64-4054) (56-90-0,100) of REFORMERS.  Up 22.  SWALLOWTAIL was devastated by CARRIE 
NATION in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.  This is Brick Wall's "delicate 
creature of the air" being devastated?  Gosh.
     KASENKO (73-4445) (20-9-2,78) of PERFECTION QUEST II challenged TEDDY RUXPIN 
(11-6399) (28-18-1,76) of LORDS OF CHAOS.  Down 2.  KASENKO was defeated by TEDDY 
RUXPIN in a crowd pleasing 4 minute Challenge duel.  Good stuff, chaos.  I love it.  
Of course, being dead already, I've got an edge.
     TYMARIS RAVENSWOOD (53-5637) (27-32-0,102) of PUERCO'S PINATA challenged HALLIE 
O'DENE (58-6018) (61-83-0,150) of CIRQUE DU MASQUES.  Up 48.  TYMARIS RAVENSWOOD 
viciously subdued HALLIE O'DENE in a 4 minute Challenge battle.  And I hope Hallie is 
properly embarrassed by the outcome of this fight.
     FIENDISH GLEE (46-1553) (25-15-5,165) of CLEVER LINGO challenged SIR OCCO (10-
5079) (36-23-0,176) of SIR AGLIO.  Up 11.  FIENDISH GLEE bested SIR OCCO in a crowd 
pleasing 1 minute Challenge fight.  Cackling madly all the way.

     So, for the title:  QUONSET (10-4990) (47-28-0,256) of QUBIT fought CREDIT LINE 
(82-1366) (17-24-0,244) of WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY.  QUONSET was demolished by CREDIT 
LINE in a 1 minute mismatched Title competition.  Hey, it's not just the women, CL.  
Can you loan me ten till payday?

                                        Olaf

CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD          W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 CREDIT LINE 82-1366         18  24  0  264  WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY (1274 DWES EG

GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 HARV 82-20046               21   7  1  249  4-LETTER NAMES (1341)      DWES EG

GRAND CHAMPIONS               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 SMELLY TOES 82-17409        23  10  0  210  HYBRIDS V (1340)           DWES EG
-TALON 18-7782               36  16  1  207  GET OUTTA MY WAY (1319)    TALCAMA
 CADDY JACKKNIFE 11-4288     37  17  1  203  GERFEL'S FRIENDS (516)     ARUAK CITY
 50 SUCKS 60-4129            85  47  2  201  JOKA MASHER! (833)         ARADI
 MOD COD 55-2638             69  91  3  194  RHYME TYME (449)           KHALANI
-DITCH RAT 82-15360          36  40  5  194  VERMIN! (1267)             DWES EG
 ARAC IRONFIST 67-1944       31  23  0  194  RAZOR GRACE (1327)         BARIKALA
-R IS FOR REPUGNANT 99-1155  22  14  4  194  GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME (1306)  SOUTH RIDGE
-SPAZZ 33-6207               56  53  0  190  SNOTZI'S II (813)          NIATOLI ISLAND
 QUONSET 10-4990             47  29  0  190  QUBIT (1136)               KOLACT
 NED THE JANITOR 66-2973     39  33  0  187  ANDORIAN UNIVERSITY (1123) TARRGIR
 ANIJIA ALARA 11-4675        23  13  1  186  MANIACAL TUFTS (1147)      ARUAK CITY
 FIENDISH GLEE 46-1553       26  15  5  184  CLEVER LINGO (1212)        ARDIVENT
 KAIDEN 35-3108             101  96  2  181  VIOLENT FEMS (972)         MURSKA

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 GATEWAY 82-15631            21   5  0  180  ATTACK OF THE CLONES (1339 DWES EG
 RIFT 12-3922                32  22  1  178  SPIRITUAL GIFT (791)       RIZTAB
 SIR OCCO 10-5079            36  24  0  168  SIR AGLIO (788)            KOLACT
 KOOKABURRA 33-4151          62  85  3  165  GIRL SCOUT COOKIES (812)   NIATOLI ISLAND
 BATTLESTONE 66-2980         35  31  0  156  FRAG 'EM ALL! (574)        TARRGIR
 CIARAN 1-7176               26  18  1  156  MANNEQUIN'S BEST (1227)    MORDANT
-KIDNEY 96-972               17  16  3  155  ORGAN ON THE SANDS (1272)  OLD VALAMANTIS
 BLACK EYE 60-6163           36  21  0  152  JOKA MASHER! (833)         ARADI

GRAND ADEPTS                  W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 TICKLES 9-3486              58  81  1  147  MY PETS (554)              ZUKAL
-PLACES THE LOTION.. 98-909  17  15  5  146  ARCANE BEACH DAY (1305)    SYVYN'S HILL
 AVALYNE WHYTE 11-3270       26  19  1  145  TUFT TUGGERS (557)         ARUAK CITY
 AGLIBOL 12-5848             23   9  0  137  DARKMOON (1197)            RIZTAB
 DELICE THE RED 56-3401      61  71  3  135  BAD APPLES (1091)          ROCANIS
 TYMARIS RAVENSWOOD 53-5637  28  32  0  134  PUERCO'S PINATA (700)      KHALHUMS
 QUIFF 10-4779               25  11  0  134  QUBIT (1136)               KOLACT
 SEGALLION SUNDANCE 11-4600  29  22  1  133  TUFT TUGGERS (557)         ARUAK CITY
 FRED 65-5333                34  13  0  127  MYSTERY MACHINE (1326)     DAL SHANG
 HALLIE O'DENE 58-6018       61  84  0  124  CIRQUE DU MASQUES (1093)   DELARQ TOR
 VALLISNERIA 30-3226         24  22  1  123  THE GREENHOUSE (1219)      IAYE
 MR. POTATO HEAD 20-442      29  29  0  120  LORDS OF CHAOS (1320)      SEAM
 BUCK 1-2291                 44  97  0  117  MOSSRUNNERS (928)          MORDANT
 QUEEN AMAZONIA 12-4796      36  46  1  117  DARKMOON (1197)            RIZTAB
 EVE DREWSHADOW 53-6246      24  21  0  116  PUERCO'S PINATA (700)      KHALHUMS
 EVIL ELMO 99-1222           23  13  4  115  TWISTED SESAME (1307)      SOUTH RIDGE
 FEALOST 1-3916              48  64  1  113  MOSSRUNNERS (928)          MORDANT
 CARRIE NATION 64-4054       57  90  0  109  REFORMERS (1095)           KURUKAR
 BRIARTHORN 12-5671          20  20  1  104  DARKMOON (1197)            RIZTAB
 HUMMINGBIRD 56-3475         29  28  0  102  REDHORSE (1325)            ROCANIS

GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 MOUNTAIN GOAT 56-3700       29  39  3  100  REDHORSE (1325)            ROCANIS
 RUTHLESS 15-4591            28  19  0  100  TRIPLE CROWN (990)         MALCORN
 LONE WOLF 31-162            34  39  1   99  AVENGERS (1321)            CHIMLEVTAL
 KI 31-165                   32  39  1   99  AVENGERS (1321)            CHIMLEVTAL
-OBSIDIAN GOLEM 32-3975      25  22  1   98  THE STORMLORDS (1181)      ARVAT
 GAZELLE 56-3701             25  19  0   95  REDHORSE (1325)            ROCANIS

GRAND INITIATES               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 ZLATINA ANGUELOVA 11-4856   28  28  1   91  TUFT TUGGERS (557)         ARUAK CITY

GRAND INITIATES               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 TEDDY RUXPIN 11-6399        29  18  1   89  LORDS OF CHAOS (1348)      ARUAK CITY
 PISTON HURRICANE 40-2287    21  12  0   82  AS FAR AS SIAM (1323)      ZENSU
-MONTEZUMA WHIFFLEB 11-6195  22  14  1   81  GERFEL'S FRIENDS (516)     ARUAK CITY
 KASENKO 73-4445             20  10  2   78  PERFECTION QUEST II (1303) ERINIKA
 SIR PLUTZ 10-5207           20  32  2   78  SIR AGLIO (788)            KOLACT
 SUGARBEET 7-5219            27  25  1   77  SUGAR AND SPICE (1231)     BONSUR
 MOOSE 56-3459               19  26  0   77  REDHORSE (1325)            ROCANIS
 CITATION 15-3925            22  17  0   75  TRIPLE CROWN (990)         MALCORN
 BLACK EYES 46-2820          16  11  0   75  THE FURIOUS FIVE (1121)    ARDIVENT
 SWALLOWTAIL 1-7387          23  14  2   74  MANNEQUIN'S BEST (1227)    MORDANT
-SENSEI JAN 8-4676           21   9  0   72  YAKUZA (1300)              ARKERS
 CROOKED HOOF 56-3493        30  22  0   64  REDHORSE (1325)            ROCANIS
 BROKEN TOE 56-3683          26  46  1   61  REDHORSE (1325)            ROCANIS
 YAKKO 7-3266                18  17  0   54  UNDER JOLLY ROGER (1351)   BONSUR
 GAR & BRILL 38-4252         30  57  0   52  JUST BECAUSE (1228)        CLIFFHOME
 JOHN LONGSHORE 11-4197      24  37  0   50  TUFT TUGGERS (557)         ARUAK CITY
 PROWESS 2-5155              22  28  0   50  KNOT WHOLE (1333)          NIANIA
 BLIND ILLUSION 22-6379      18  18  1   47  MEDIEVAL CHAOS (1342)      SOLVEN
 LIL E. TEE 15-4608          15   9  1   47  TRIPLE CROWN (990)         MALCORN
-LONDON QUIREBOY 59-2513     14   4  1   47  CHAPEL ROCK (1352)         ILLIS
 SKI MASK 58-5869            46  80  0   44  CIRQUE DU MASQUES (1093)   DELARQ TOR

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                    W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY              TURN
EVE DREWSHADOW 53-6246     24  21  0 PUERCO'S PINATA 700    KOOKABURRA 33-4151     409

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

Segallion Sundancer -- You sure jump around a lot. -- Buck, confused

Sugarbeet -- I admire your persistence.  Glad I was able to overcome it, but I still
admire it. -- Gazelle

Avalyne Whyte -- You tuft tuggers have lovely, colorful names.  And good fight, at
least on your part. -- Fealost

Ruthless -- I guess they were able to mend that artery in time.  It's amazing what we
gladiators endure in our profession, isn't it? -- Hummingbird

Citation -- Face and arm; I sure didn't hit where I was aiming.  Well, can't say it
was a good fight:  too short.  But it might go differently if we meet again. --
Mountain Goat

Prowess -- We both learned a lot from each other in one minute, didn't we?  Maybe we
ought to fight again. -- Moose

Swallowtail -- Well struck.  My manager says your manager is scary. -- Crooked Hoof

Yakko -- For a guy with half my fights, you do great. -- Broken Toe

All -- Sorry about the lack of a Captain's column and personals.  The heart and mind
are willing, but the body isn't--too many late nights at work. -- Sultan, realizing
that something has got to give

Fiendish Glee -- You didn't have to LAUGH like that. -- Delice the Red

Gateway -- Oh, gods, you're a CLONE?  There are MORE of you out there?  (shudder)
Horrid thought! -- Hallie O'Dene

Black Eye -- That's what you'll GET if you keep drinking like a drunken FISH!  LOTS
of black eyes.  And I don't mean peas, either. -- Carrie Nation

The bouncer at the Bash & Glug is speciesist!  Why should he bar a Duck with
perfectly good money from drinking there?  Where does he get OFF calling me ROWDY?
Just because I took justifiable offense at a slur on my species...!  That wasn't
ROWDINESS, that was JUST RETRIBUTION. -- Ski Mask

Olaf Mark II -- At least I'm ALIVE, which is more than YOU can say.  *I* can enjoy
the pleasures of beer--when the stupid bouncer doesn't get up his gang to throw me
OUT (and using a gang just PROVES that he can't handle me alone) (yes, it WAS a gang,
or at least two of them: Bernie and Geroge (an orc, of all the foul things)).  And I
can enjoy the company of a bevy of soft-feathered Ducks of the female persuasion, as
well, which is more than YOU can do. -- Ski Mask

4 August 2005
Ladies and Gentlemen...The Announcement You Have All Been Waiting For Is Here!!!!!!!!

ZalCon3...The Rebirth!!!!!!! 

The Rules Are Simple, The Prizes Are Awesome, The Competition Fierce!

Where:  Dullens (DM13)  When:  October 8th, 2005

The Rules:
Every Manager Must DA Their Entire Team On The First Turn They Enter The Contest.
All Warriors DA'd In This Manner MUST Be At Zero FE And May Fight In The Contest If
They Live.  The Style Of The Warrior Must Be Present In The Name In A Non Ambiguous
Manner, Standard Abbreviations Accepted.  Scoring Starts On The 3rd Turn Of The
Contest Which Will Also Be The First Turn After The October Mail In.  Dead Warriors
May Be Entered From The Contest To Dead Apprentices ONLY--And With Zero FE!!!!!  All
Living Warriors May Be Entered Into Rookies or Apprentices For The October Mail In.

Scoring:
 1 Point For Each Win.
 1 Point For Each Kill.
-1 Point For Each Loss.
-1 Point For Each Death.

Categories:
Ultimate Style Master:  Warrior Of Any Style With The Most Style Master Points.
Top Team:  Team With The Most Points At The End Of The Contest.
Top Warrior:  Warrior With The Most Points At The End Of The Contest.
MVP Team:  Team With The Most Free Fight Awards At The End Of The Contest.
MVP Warrior:  Warrior With The Most Free Fight Awards At The End Of The Contest.
Style Master:  Warrior With The Most Points Vs. Style In Each Style At The End Of The
               Contest.
Warrior Top 11:  Next 10 Top Point Gaining Warriors At The End Of The Contest.
Iron Manager:  Any Manager With 100 Fights During The Contest (20 Turns Plus 2 Pre
               Turns).
***Special Category*** An Additional Top Team Award Will Be Granted For Each 5 Iron
Manager Awards Starting At 6.

Prizes:
Ultimate Style Master, Top Team, Top Warrior:  +1 To Bonus, Damage Bump, Free Train
                                              Or Learn 2 Skills, Favorites Knowledge.
MVP Team And MVP Warrior:  20 Rollups.
Style Master:  +1 To Bonus.
Warrior Top 11:  Free Train Or Learn 2 Skills. 
Iron Manager:  +1 To Bonus.

Please Contact Zalgor Prigg Via Diplo (Armor & Weapons DM102) or Email
(zalgor@hotmail.com) Should You Have Any Questions Or Wish A Free Team Rollup To Dark
Arena On Turn 1.

Disclaimer:  All Prizes Are To Be Used On Contest Team Only And Are Non Transferable.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

FIENDISH GLEE bested SIR OCCO in a crowd pleasing 1 minute Challenge fight.
TYMARIS RAVENSWOOD viciously subdued HALLIE O'DENE in a 4 minute Challenge battle.
KASENKO was defeated by TEDDY RUXPIN in a crowd pleasing 4 minute Challenge duel.
SWALLOWTAIL was devastated by CARRIE NATION in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
QUONSET was demolished by CREDIT LINE in a 1 minute mismatched Title competition.
HARV vanquished ARAC IRONFIST in a exciting 1 minute mismatched fight.
MOD COD was unbelievably bested by CADDY JACKKNIFE in a popular 2 minute competition.
ANIJIA ALARA was vanquished by SMELLY TOES in a action packed 1 minute uneven duel.
50 SUCKS slimly won victory over GATEWAY in a popular 4 minute gory duel.
KAIDEN overpowered TICKLES in a popular 1 minute one-sided melee.
BATTLESTONE was demolished by RIFT in a crowd pleasing 1 minute mismatched match.
NED THE JANITOR devastated AGLIBOL in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided battle.
DELICE THE RED was overpowered by CIARAN in a popular 1 minute mismatched conflict.
BUCK was savagely defeated by SEGALLION SUNDANCER in a 2 minute struggle.
FEALOST was overpowered by BLACK EYE in a crowd pleasing 1 minute mismatched brawl.
QUIFF overpowered QUEEN AMAZONIA in a 1 minute one-sided match.
EVE DREWSHADOW was executed by KOOKABURRA in a 1 minute one-sided match.
FRED outwaited MR. POTATO HEAD in a crowd pleasing 10 minute competition.
AVALYNE WHYTE overpowered VALLISNERIA in a 1 minute uneven fight.
EVIL ELMO narrowly defeated BRIARTHORN in a 2 minute gruesome bout.
ZLATINA ANGUELOVA lost to MOUNTAIN GOAT in a crowd pleasing 2 minute gory fray.
LONE WOLF demolished SKI MASK in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
PISTON HURRICANE was vanquished by RUTHLESS in a 1 minute one-sided match.
SIR PLUTZ was overpowered by KI in a exciting 1 minute gruesome uneven match.
HUMMINGBIRD viciously subdued JOHN LONGSHORE in a action packed 1 minute brutal bout.
LIL E. TEE was handily defeated by SUGARBEET in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
CITATION overpowered GAR & BRILL in a 1 minute uneven fight.
BLIND ILLUSION was overcome by BROKEN TOE in a exciting 2 minute fight.
BLACK EYES demolished YAKKO in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
GAZELLE overpowered MEAN SPIRIT in a 2 minute gruesome one-sided bout.
PROWESS was subdued by CROOKED HOOF in a action packed 2 minute contest.
MOOSE overpowered B&G BOUNCER in a exciting 1 minute bloody one-sided struggle.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  13         PARRY-STRIKE       6 -   3 -  0      67  |
|AIMED BLOW                      10         AIMED BLOW        77 -  41 -  1      65  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    7         PARRY-LUNGE       12 -   8 -  0      60  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  7         WALL OF STEEL     44 -  36 -  1      55  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  7         LUNGING ATTACK    68 -  59 -  0      54  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   6         SLASHING ATTACK   38 -  39 -  1      49  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      5         TOTAL PARRY       23 -  30 -  0      43  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    4         STRIKING ATTACK   25 -  41 -  0      38  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      2         BASHING ATTACK    29 -  49 -  1      37  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         PARRY-RIPOSTE      5 -  23 -  0      18  |

Turn 409 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-LUNGE        2 -  0     SLASHING ATTACK    3 -  4         3  AIMED BLOW     
PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  0     STRIKING ATTACK    3 -  4         3  WALL OF STEEL  
WALL OF STEEL      5 -  2     TOTAL PARRY        2 -  3         2  SLASHING ATTACK
LUNGING ATTACK     9 -  4     BASHING ATTACK     2 -  4         2  BASHING ATTACK 
AIMED BLOW         5 -  5     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  4         1  LUNGING ATTACK 

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
AIMED BLOW       CREDIT LINE 82-1366        18  24  0  264 WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY (1274)
SLASHING ATTACK  SMELLY TOES 82-17409       23  10  0  210 HYBRIDS V (1340)
WALL OF STEEL    CADDY JACKKNIFE 11-4288    37  17  1  203 GERFEL'S FRIENDS (516)
LUNGING ATTACK   MOD COD 55-2638            69  91  3  194 RHYME TYME (449)
BASHING ATTACK   KOOKABURRA 33-4151         62  85  3  165 GIRL SCOUT COOKIES (812)
STRIKING ATTACK  DELICE THE RED 56-3401     61  71  3  135 BAD APPLES (1091)
PARRY-LUNGE      SEGALLION SUNDANC 11-4600  29  22  1  133 TUFT TUGGERS (557)
TOTAL PARRY      FRED 65-5333               34  13  0  127 MYSTERY MACHINE (1326)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    MR. POTATO HEAD 20-442     29  29  0  120 LORDS OF CHAOS (1320)
PARRY-STRIKE     TEDDY RUXPIN 11-6399       29  18  1   89 LORDS OF CHAOS (1348)

The overall popularity leader is KAIDEN 35-3108.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was MOD COD 55-2638.  The ten other most popular fighters were GATEWAY 82-15631, MR. 
POTATO HEAD 20-442, FRED 65-5333, TYMARIS RAVENSWOOD 53-5637, CROOKED HOOF 56-3493, 
HALLIE O'DENE 58-6018, MOUNTAIN GOAT 56-3700, BROKEN TOE 56-3683, KASENKO 73-4445, 
and CIARAN 1-7176.

The least popular fighter this week was YAKKO 7-3266.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were GAR & BRILL 38-4252, LIL E. TEE 15-4608, VALLISNERIA 30-3226, EVE 
DREWSHADOW 53-6246, SWALLOWTAIL 1-7387, SUGARBEET 7-5219, JOHN LONGSHORE 11-4197, SIR 
PLUTZ 10-5207, PISTON HURRICANE 40-2287, and SKI MASK 58-5869.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
MORDANT(1)           1  3 0  IAYE(30)             0  1 0  DELARQ TOR(58)       0  2 0  
NIANIA(2)            0  1 0  CHIMLEVTAL(31)       2  0 0  ARADI(60)            2  0 0  
BONSUR(7)            1  1 0  NIATOLI ISLAND(33)   1  0 1  KURUKAR(64)          1  0 0  
ZUKAL(9)             0  1 0  MURSKA(35)           1  0 0  DAL SHANG(65)        1  0 0  
KOLACT(10)           1  3 0  CLIFFHOME(38)        0  1 0  TARRGIR(66)          1  1 0  
ARUAK CITY(11)       4  3 0  ZENSU(40)            0  1 0  BARIKALA(67)         0  1 0  
RIZTAB(12)           1  3 0  ARDIVENT(46)         2  0 0  ERINIKA(73)          0  1 0  
MALCORN(15)          2  1 0  KHALHUMS(53)         1  1 0  DWES EG(82)          3  1 0  
SEAM(20)             0  1 0  KHALANI(55)          0  1 0  SOUTH RIDGE(99)      1  0 0  
SOLVEN(22)           0  1 0  ROCANIS(56)          6  1 0  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 CIARAN 1-7176               26  18  1  156  MANNEQUIN'S BEST (1227)    MORDANT
 PROWESS 2-5155              22  28  0   50  KNOT WHOLE (1333)          NIANIA
 SUGARBEET 7-5219            27  25  1   77  SUGAR AND SPICE (1231)     BONSUR
 TICKLES 9-3486              58  81  1  147  MY PETS (554)              ZUKAL
 QUONSET 10-4990             47  29  0  190  QUBIT (1136)               KOLACT
 CADDY JACKKNIFE 11-4288     37  17  1  203  GERFEL'S FRIENDS (516)     ARUAK CITY
 RIFT 12-3922                32  22  1  178  SPIRITUAL GIFT (791)       RIZTAB
 RUTHLESS 15-4591            28  19  0  100  TRIPLE CROWN (990)         MALCORN
 MR. POTATO HEAD 20-442      29  29  0  120  LORDS OF CHAOS (1320)      SEAM
 BLIND ILLUSION 22-6379      18  18  1   47  MEDIEVAL CHAOS (1342)      SOLVEN
 VALLISNERIA 30-3226         24  22  1  123  THE GREENHOUSE (1219)      IAYE
 LONE WOLF 31-162            34  39  1   99  AVENGERS (1321)            CHIMLEVTAL
 KOOKABURRA 33-4151          62  85  3  165  GIRL SCOUT COOKIES (812)   NIATOLI ISLAND
 KAIDEN 35-3108             101  96  2  181  VIOLENT FEMS (972)         MURSKA
 GAR & BRILL 38-4252         30  57  0   52  JUST BECAUSE (1228)        CLIFFHOME
 PISTON HURRICANE 40-2287    21  12  0   82  AS FAR AS SIAM (1323)      ZENSU
 FIENDISH GLEE 46-1553       26  15  5  184  CLEVER LINGO (1212)        ARDIVENT
 TYMARIS RAVENSWOOD 53-5637  28  32  0  134  PUERCO'S PINATA (700)      KHALHUMS

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 MOD COD 55-2638             69  91  3  194  RHYME TYME (449)           KHALANI
 DELICE THE RED 56-3401      61  71  3  135  BAD APPLES (1091)          ROCANIS
 HALLIE O'DENE 58-6018       61  84  0  124  CIRQUE DU MASQUES (1093)   DELARQ TOR
 50 SUCKS 60-4129            85  47  2  201  JOKA MASHER! (833)         ARADI
 CARRIE NATION 64-4054       57  90  0  109  REFORMERS (1095)           KURUKAR
 FRED 65-5333                34  13  0  127  MYSTERY MACHINE (1326)     DAL SHANG
 NED THE JANITOR 66-2973     39  33  0  187  ANDORIAN UNIVERSITY (1123) TARRGIR
 ARAC IRONFIST 67-1944       31  23  0  194  RAZOR GRACE (1327)         BARIKALA
 KASENKO 73-4445             20  10  2   78  PERFECTION QUEST II (1303) ERINIKA
 CREDIT LINE 82-1366         18  24  0  264  WOMEN LOVE ME FOR MY (1274 DWES EG
 EVIL ELMO 99-1222           23  13  4  115  TWISTED SESAME (1307)      SOUTH RIDGE