AD
Date : 01/11/2006 Duedate: 01/24/2006
HOME GUARD
DM-101 TURN-419
RANK TEAMS W L K % RANK TEAMS W L K %
1 TUFT TUGGERS 11/557 325 220 4 59.6 8 LORDS OF VAL 31/1208 31 33 0 48.4
2 BLADES OF ICE 7/162 368 297 7 55.3 9 WIND STORM 1/649 72 81 0 47.1
BLADES OF STEEL 17/1068 WIND STORM 42/1365
3 QUBIT 10/1136 1041 870 10 54.5 LETHAL HERITAGE 78/750
TOO GOOD FOR ME 65/1054 10 VIOLENT FEMS 35/972 420 569 9 42.5
TRIPLE CROWN 15/990 JUST BECAUSE 38/1228
JOKA MASHER! 60/833 11 DARKMOON 12/1197 63 87 0 42.0
SIR AGLIO 10/788 SOL INVICTUS 31/1355
KNOT WHOLE 2/1333 CHAOTICDISORDER 33/1353
4 RAZOR GRACE 67/1327 67 61 0 52.3 12-AVENGERS 31/1321 59 85 0 41.0
5 ALL FINESSE 38/1236 142 130 1 52.2 PUNCH-OUT! 56/1359
CLEVER LINGO 46/1212 MEDIEVAL CHAOS 22/1342
MANNEQUIN'S BEST 1/1227 LORDS OF CHAOS 11/1348
SUGAR AND SPICE 7/1231 AS FAR AS SIAM 40/1323
LAB EXPERIMENTS 1/1207 UNDER JOLLY ROGER 7/1351
PERFECTION QUEST II 73/1303 13 REDHORSE 56/1325 209 317 1 39.7
SECOND BANANAS 47/1363 MOSSRUNNERS 1/928
6 SPARF! 20/1069 732 704 10 51.0 14 MY PETS 9/554 519 790 14 39.6
THE BULLS 73/1144 THE SEUSS HEUSS 24/804
OPEN SESAME 50/824 RHYME TYME 55/449
CHAPEL ROCK 79/776 GIRL SCOUT COOKIES 33/812
HANGOVERS 59/1153 15 REFORMERS 64/1095 501 821 5 37.9
ROYAL FLUSH 47/146 KRILL CAVALRY 24/1364
CHAPEL ROCK 59/1352 CIRQUE DU MASQUES 58/1093
7 POSSE 77/1362 4 4 0 50.0
'##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id '-' Team did not fight this turn
REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER
I said something about doing on the spy reports this year, didn't I? When am I
going to learn to keep my mouth shut? You'd think by the time I'd been dead a few
decades, that lesson would have sunk in. But nope, there I go again, babbling
witlessly, and in print, which makes it worse. Phooey. And here was Debby, with a
bit of help from her golem, all set to do the spy report for me. It's hard. Life is
hard, un-life is hard, there is no end to the things that are unpleasant and tedious
and just plain nasty jobs of work.
Well, let's see what I can come up with here.
Redhorse was avoided by Darkmoon. Natural enough. It was a fashion thing.
Redhorse's Pseudo-Barbarian Experience clashes horribly with Darkmoon's Neo-Mystical
Extravaganza. Each a good style on its own, but together, no. Really powerful
conflicts of images.
Mad Doc Williams got the most challenges, and they came from people who wanted
to talk about their ailments and get a free prescription. This is why he's mad. My
momma wanted me to be a doctor, a long time ago. But I went around and looked at the
way some doctors were living, and I said No. Sure, they made a lot of money--WHEN
people paid 'em, but they were never "off-duty." Imagine being at a party, a pretty
girl comes up to you, and all she wants to talk about is this rash on her foot.
We had thirty-five fights, with only two standbys out there today. This is
good. Probably temporary, but good while it lasts. Only six challenge matches, but
at least there were six. I have seen arenas--here on the Isle, mind you--with no
challenges at all! Shocking. What sloth. For those of you who want to know the
length of the longest fight without the tedium of going through the list (I had a
golem do it, or *I* wouldn't have gone through the list), it was seven minutes.
Hardly a scumfest type of situation, eh? Nobody died. I'd be depressed, I've been
wanting a real babe to die and keep me company, but it's futile. You just go get
resurrected again. That's shocking, too. And very dumb. If you get resurrected,
which is not, in itself, a pleasant experience, then you get to die again... and
again, and again. And I can tell you from personal experience that dying is NOT fun.
It's about the least-fun thing you ever do. BEING dead is good, though. Remind me
to tell you about it sometime.
So, the fights. I'm probably going to do the whole works here, but don't expect
it every time. It takes too long. But for the first of the year, something a little
special, yes?
MOOSE (56-3459) (22-32-0,76) of REDHORSE fought HERMY (101-4) (0-0-0,50) of the
College of Mimes. MOOSE was demolished by HERMY in a 1 minute mismatched match.
This is where the Pseudo comes into the Barbarian Experience. A true Barbarian would
not have allowed a wimpy broad like Hermy to dish him.
KRAMER (47-5191) (15-6-0,51) of SECOND BANANAS fought SKI MASK (58-5869) (49-86-
0,63) of CIRQUE DU MASQUES. KRAMER was overpowered by SKI MASK in a 1 minute one-
sided fray. This was the purest of bad luck on Kramer's part. He thought he was
okay, it was just the Duck. Anybody can beat the Duck, as witnessed by his record.
But when the Duck just HAPPENS to be craving a banana split, and there's a Banana in
front of him, and he's got a knife in his hand... well, what can you expect?
SAIONJI (73-4447) (18-6-1,61) of PERFECTION QUEST II fought SLIPPERY NIPPLE (59-
2323) (18-5-1,76) of HANGOVERS. SAIONJI devastated SLIPPERY NIPPLE in a crowd
pleasing 1 minute one-sided battle. So are we looking here at the perfect hangover
(the imagination boggles) or the perfection of drinking WITHOUT hangovers, in which
case I am definitely interested. You thought being dead maybe meant "no hangovers"?
Wrong.
KELDON WARLORD (42-2501) (13-9-1,54) of WIND STORM fought MOUNTAIN GOAT (56-
3700) (33-44-3,74) of REDHORSE. KELDON WARLORD devastated MOUNTAIN GOAT in a 1
minute one-sided duel. I draw your attention to the records of these two warriors
and say no more.
DEMONICHELLION (33-7038) (17-12-2,52) of CHAOTICDISORDER fought LIL E. TEE (15-
4608) (21-12-1,85) of TRIPLE CROWN. DEMONICHELLION overpowered LIL E. TEE in an
action packed 1 minute one-sided bout. Debby thought this match contained elements
of remarkability. I don't see it, myself, but you can ferret around in the numbers
looking for points of remark if you want. I can't do it all.
PINE LEAF (24-4580) (22-24-0,54) of KRILL CAVALRY fought QUADRICEPS (10-5326)
(27-26-1,48) of QUBIT. PINE LEAF narrowly defeated QUADRICEPS in a popular 3 minute
gory match. You know, thirty-five fights is too many. At least, too many to talk
about all of them. So I'm gonna list 'em all, but just comment on the high points.
RAUNI (31-5035) (19-15-0,60) of SOL INVICTUS fought ACE BAILEY (47-4948) (15-20-
0,64) of ROYAL FLUSH. RAUNI savagely defeated ACE BAILEY in an action packed 7
minute gory duel. This was our longest fight, and who can wonder at Rauni's
savagery? Seven minutes is a long time to stand out there in the snow and the icy
wind in sheet-metal underwear.
LONDON QUIREBOY (59-2513) (17-4-1,92) of CHAPEL ROCK fought SIR REALISTIC (10-
5552) (16-11-1,68) of SIR AGLIO. LONDON QUIREBOY beat SIR REALISTIC in a 2 minute
fight. There's probably a strongly pointed comment in this one, but it eludes me.
BASE ON BULLS (73-3101) (19-6-3,92) of THE BULLS fought GAR & BRILL (38-4252)
(35-61-0,87) of JUST BECAUSE. BASE ON BULLS overcame GAR & BRILL in a 2 minute duel.
So much for barbecued bull tonight.
CAT IN THE HAT (24-3103) (20-6-1,91) of THE SEUSS HEUSS fought KALIDOR THE BOLD
(11-6441) (17-5-0,52) of TUFT TUGGERS. CAT IN THE HAT was viciously subdued by
KALIDOR THE BOLD in a 3 minute bout. Now, I have to comment on this. The Top Hat
thing? No. It does not work. It doesn't go with any other style here in the Isle
and it doesn't even go with ITSELF. And if you WERE going to wear a top hat, it
should be a NEW one, not that battered old relic. Not that cats have much fashion
sense. Once you get beyond the question of fur, which I admit they do just fine
with, then, nope, nothing.
ROWDY YOBBO (20-3429) (23-23-1,129) of SPARF! fought HELM HAMMERHAND (31-5025)
(27-14-0,108) of LORDS OF VALHALLA. ROWDY YOBBO was vanquished by HELM HAMMERHAND in
a 1 minute uneven bout. Some people just don't LIKE rowdiness. They have a very
short way with rowdies. And maybe Helm is one of those guys, hmm?
BRIARTHORN (12-5671) (24-25-1,121) of DARKMOON fought BLACK JACK SHELACK (47-
4850) (20-14-1,94) of ROYAL FLUSH. BRIARTHORN defeated BLACK JACK SHELACK in a 2
minute match. I simply note in passing that Black Jack got shellacked. It happens.
APPLE JACK (47-4011) (31-26-4,142) of ROYAL FLUSH fought BATAVIA (78-238) (24-
15-0,114) of LETHAL HERITAGE. APPLE JACK was savagely defeated by BATAVIA in an
action packed 3 minute gory fight. That woman can hold her liquor, whatever Carrie
Nation chooses to say.
BUCK (1-2291) (46-104-0,126) of MOSSRUNNERS fought BRANFORD HAWKE (11-5077) (27-
26-0,96) of TUFT TUGGERS. BUCK was savagely defeated by BRANFORD HAWKE in a popular
4 minute gruesome fight. Not only was Buck defeated, his tufts were tugged. That's
gotta hurt!
KONGOL (7-4524) (36-33-2,121) of BLADES OF ICE fought JOHN LONGSHORE (11-4197)
(30-40-0,140) of TUFT TUGGERS. KONGOL handily defeated JOHN LONGSHORE in a 1 minute
one-sided contest. Maybe we should give Longshore one of those little hammers that
geologists use. I bet he'd be a whizzdang with that.
GAZELLE (56-3701) (29-24-0,142) of REDHORSE fought QUEEN AMAZONIA (12-4796) (39-
51-1,134) of DARKMOON. GAZELLE demolished QUEEN AMAZONIA in a 2 minute gruesome
uneven bout. Pseudo-Barbarian meets Neo-Mystic, and the result is... gruesome barely
covers it. A fashion explosion in a blind man's paint factory. If I wasn't already
dead, it would kill me to look at it.
CROOKED HOOF (56-3493) (36-25-0,104) of REDHORSE fought AEDON (7-4295) (42-31-
1,139) of BLADES OF ICE. CROOKED HOOF viciously subdued AEDON in a popular 2 minute
gruesome bout. What can I say? Some people like to chew on ice. Probably a sign of
an iron deficiency.
OSCAR (50-3153) (30-8-0,130) of OPEN SESAME fought BROKEN TOE (56-3683) (32-49-
1,105) of REDHORSE. OSCAR luckily beat BROKEN TOE in a crowd pleasing 1 minute
conflict. Stamped on his toe, which was exposed by those pseudo-barb boots. You
know the kind I mean, they leave the toes bare and lace up the front with black
thongs, kind of a toes-in-bondage look.
BECKY (17-5782) (22-10-3,156) of BLADES OF STEEL fought JOE KING (47-2223) (31-
53-1,150) of ROYAL FLUSH. BECKY demolished JOE KING in an exciting 1 minute one-
sided bout. A woman of deciscion, this Becky, and a practical view of life. Blades
SHOULD be of steel, not ice or smoke or grass or whatever other weird thing you hear
about.
PERFECT TEN (47-4218) (30-23-1,174) of ROYAL FLUSH fought KERMORVAN (1-3116)
(25-15-0,136) of LAB EXPERIMENTS. PERFECT TEN slimly lost to KERMORVAN in a popular
4 minute brutal brawl. Makes you wonder about the lab, and the experiments.
FEALOST (1-3916) (51-70-1,151) of MOSSRUNNERS fought SEGALLION SUNDANCER (11-
4600) (33-27-1,121) of TUFT TUGGERS. FEALOST was handily defeated by SEGALLION
SUNDANCER in a 1 minute mismatched bout. Fealost is still living down to his name
and feals lost.
POPE PAUL II (79-1317) (23-13-0,167) of CHAPEL ROCK fought ARENAMASTER AZEEM
(101-28) (0-0-0,200) of the College of Mimes. POPE PAUL II was viciously subdued by
ARENAMASTER AZEEM in a 6 minute bout. Our second longest fight, and I have to tell
you, Azeem was enjoying himself. He could've ended it sooner, but he was savoring
his day in the sun. Or to be more accurate, his day in the thin overcast.
SINCLAIR (1-6269) (28-7-3,181) of WIND STORM fought ZLATINA ANGUELOVA (11-4856)
(33-32-1,151) of TUFT TUGGERS. SINCLAIR overcame ZLATINA ANGUELOVA in a popular 2
minute conflict. The said popularity arising from Zlatina's flashy moves and
Sinclair's evident bloodlust. A tense match, with the odds going back and forth,
back and forth... ulp. I hate that kind of thing....
EXILE (7-4618) (32-28-1,198) of BLADES OF ICE fought SIR OCCO (10-5079) (41-28-
0,160) of SIR AGLIO. EXILE was devastated by SIR OCCO in a crowd pleasing 2 minute
gory one-sided battle. Most people would be GLAD to encounter a hot, dry wind today.
But was Exile happy? Nooo, he said his blade was melting!
HALLIE O'DENE (58-6018) (64-90-0,207) of CIRQUE DU MASQUES fought TICKLES (9-
3486) (64-84-1,196) of MY PETS. HALLIE O'DENE subdued TICKLES in a crowd pleasing 2
minute bloody match. This is a woman with nerves of steel.
AGLIBOL (12-5848) (28-13-0,185) of DARKMOON fought STEVE MCQUEEN (47-3908) (39-
40-1,193) of ROYAL FLUSH. AGLIBOL was luckily beaten by STEVE MCQUEEN in a popular 3
minute gory melee. The record speaks of luck, what does HE know of luck? A dust
devil flicks a little sand in your eye, an insufficiently rosined boot sole slips, an
ill-advised sausage at breakfast comes back to haunt you, a spectator shouts
distractingly that the Street Patrol are ticketing one of the gladiators's horses...
and the match is lost.
ARAC IRONFIST (67-1944) (34-29-0,216) of RAZOR GRACE fought MOD COD (55-2638)
(73-96-3,194) of RHYME TYME. ARAC IRONFIST vanquished MOD COD in a popular 1 minute
one-sided duel. This is good. Fish needs to be kept in line and thrown out
regularly. If there's a cat out there to pick up the pieces, fine, but throw it out
anyway.
KAIDEN (35-3108) (104-102-2,212) of VIOLENT FEMS fought QUONSET (10-4990) (53-
32-0,222) of QUBIT. KAIDEN vanquished QUONSET in a popular 1 minute uneven duel.
Good gods! Kaiden has a winning record here! How did THAT happen? Who let this Fem
get away with her Violence?
Ah, the challenge matches. I bet you thought we'd never get to this point. I
had my doubts.
WRETCHEDMISERY (33-7255) (17-10-0,79) of CHAOTICDISORDER challenged PROWESS (2-
5155) (25-34-0,82) of KNOT WHOLE. Up 3. WRETCHEDMISERY beat PROWESS in a 2 minute
Challenge brawl. Probably jealousy. There are few women who can feel secure in the
presence of the female Prow.
SUGARBEET (7-5219) (30-31-1,74) of SUGAR AND SPICE challenged BACKLASH (65-6518)
(21-8-1,73) of TOO GOOD FOR ME. Down 1. SUGARBEET vanquished BACKLASH in a 1 minute
mismatched Challenge fight. Not only too good, but too sweet. It's enough to make
your toenails curl.
SPATHA (31-4996) (27-16-2,94) of SOL INVICTUS challenged KOOKABURRA (33-4151)
(62-94-3,104) of GIRL SCOUT COOKIES. Up 10. SPATHA was overpowered by KOOKABURRA in
a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight. All the crumbs! I have never seen a cookie
crumble so effectively as Kookaburra. It's an art, and a rare one.
SWALLOWTAIL (1-7387) (30-16-2,148) of MANNEQUIN'S BEST challenged CARRIE NATION
(64-4054) (63-93-0,156) of REFORMERS. Up 8. SWALLOWTAIL overpowered CARRIE NATION
in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge duel. I feel sure that Carrie will have comments
to make anent sobriety, but anyone can see that Swallowtail was totally plumb on
this.
DESPERADO (77-2459) (26-13-2,134) of POSSE challenged HUMMINGBIRD (56-3475) (32-
34-0,120) of REDHORSE. Down 14. DESPERADO demolished HUMMINGBIRD in a 1 minute one-
sided Challenge melee. And why not? Des wanted the horse to get away on. There was
a posse after him.
NUTCRACKER (38-4380) (30-23-1,172) of ALL FINESSE challenged MAD DOC WILLIAMS
(77-2432) (30-12-0,194) of POSSE. Up 22. NUTCRACKER viciously subdued MAD DOC
WILLIAMS in a 6 minute Challenge fight. This was Most-Challenged Williams, here,
don't forget. He was already harrassed by all those people asking pushy,
embarrassing, professional questions. You just can't do your best in the arena if
your mind is on a ruptured spleen that may end up being your own.
And for the title, a random match. It happens. A lot. FIENDISH GLEE (46-1553)
(32-18-5,233) of CLEVER LINGO fought 50 SUCKS (60-4129) (92-49-2,226) of JOKA MASHER!
FIENDISH GLEE was unbelievably bested by 50 SUCKS in a 3 minute Title fight. I have
no difficulty believing this. But what I want to know is, did 50 meet the fiendish
glee of his opponent with a cackle of senile dementia?
As it seems to be the fashion these days to give advice at the end of the
column, here is some: Beware of socks.
Olaf
CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
50 SUCKS 60-4129 93 49 2 239 JOKA MASHER! (833) ARADI
GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
KAIDEN 35-3108 105 102 2 234 VIOLENT FEMS (972) MURSKA
ARAC IRONFIST 67-1944 35 29 0 225 RAZOR GRACE (1327) BARIKALA
HALLIE O'DENE 58-6018 65 90 0 212 CIRQUE DU MASQUES (1093) DELARQ TOR
GRAND CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
FIENDISH GLEE 46-1553 32 19 5 209 CLEVER LINGO (1212) ARDIVENT
STEVE MCQUEEN 47-3908 40 40 1 205 ROYAL FLUSH (146) NORTH FORK
NUTCRACKER 38-4380 31 23 1 200 ALL FINESSE (1236) CLIFFHOME
TICKLES 9-3486 64 85 1 195 MY PETS (554) ZUKAL
SIR OCCO 10-5079 42 28 0 194 SIR AGLIO (788) KOLACT
QUONSET 10-4990 53 33 0 191 QUBIT (1136) KOLACT
MOD COD 55-2638 73 97 3 188 RHYME TYME (449) KHALANI
AGLIBOL 12-5848 28 14 0 185 DARKMOON (1197) RIZTAB
MAD DOC WILLIAMS 77-2432 30 13 0 183 POSSE (1362) MAZGOURRAH
SINCLAIR 1-6269 29 7 3 183 WIND STORM (649) MORDANT
GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
EXILE 7-4618 32 29 1 174 BLADES OF ICE (162) BONSUR
POPE PAUL II 79-1317 23 14 0 173 CHAPEL ROCK (776) MIROI CHANG
KERMORVAN 1-3116 26 15 0 167 LAB EXPERIMENTS (1207) MORDANT
BECKY 17-5782 23 10 3 165 BLADES OF STEEL (1068) ALJAFIR
SWALLOWTAIL 1-7387 31 16 2 163 MANNEQUIN'S BEST (1227) MORDANT
ZLATINA ANGUELOVA 11-4856 33 33 1 160 TUFT TUGGERS (557) ARUAK CITY
-TEDDY RUXPIN 11-6399 33 21 1 158 LORDS OF CHAOS (1348) ARUAK CITY
PERFECT TEN 47-4218 30 24 1 156 ROYAL FLUSH (146) NORTH FORK
GAZELLE 56-3701 30 24 0 151 REDHORSE (1325) ROCANIS
GRAND ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
CARRIE NATION 64-4054 63 94 0 146 REFORMERS (1095) KURUKAR
SEGALLION SUNDANCE 11-4600 34 27 1 146 TUFT TUGGERS (557) ARUAK CITY
JOE KING 47-2223 31 54 1 145 ROYAL FLUSH (146) NORTH FORK
KONGOL 7-4524 37 33 2 142 BLADES OF ICE (162) BONSUR
DESPERADO 77-2459 27 13 2 141 POSSE (1362) MAZGOURRAH
BATAVIA 78-238 25 15 0 139 LETHAL HERITAGE (750) LIN TIRIAN
CROOKED HOOF 56-3493 37 25 0 136 REDHORSE (1325) ROCANIS
-LONE WOLF 31-162 38 42 1 135 AVENGERS (1321) CHIMLEVTAL
OSCAR 50-3153 31 8 0 132 OPEN SESAME (824) SNOWBOUND
-BLIND ILLUSION 22-6379 25 18 1 130 MEDIEVAL CHAOS (1342) SOLVEN
QUEEN AMAZONIA 12-4796 39 52 1 129 DARKMOON (1197) RIZTAB
HELM HAMMERHAND 31-5025 28 14 0 129 LORDS OF VALHALLA (1208) CHIMLEVTAL
FEALOST 1-3916 51 71 1 128 MOSSRUNNERS (928) MORDANT
APPLE JACK 47-4011 31 27 4 127 ROYAL FLUSH (146) NORTH FORK
BRIARTHORN 12-5671 25 25 1 123 DARKMOON (1197) RIZTAB
-KI 31-165 35 43 1 122 AVENGERS (1321) CHIMLEVTAL
JOHN LONGSHORE 11-4197 30 41 0 121 TUFT TUGGERS (557) ARUAK CITY
AEDON 7-4295 42 32 1 119 BLADES OF ICE (162) BONSUR
BRANFORD HAWKE 11-5077 28 26 0 119 TUFT TUGGERS (557) ARUAK CITY
KOOKABURRA 33-4151 63 94 3 118 GIRL SCOUT COOKIES (812) NIATOLI ISLAND
HUMMINGBIRD 56-3475 32 35 0 118 REDHORSE (1325) ROCANIS
BROKEN TOE 56-3683 32 50 1 113 REDHORSE (1325) ROCANIS
ROWDY YOBBO 20-3429 23 24 1 112 SPARF! (1069) SEAM
GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
BUCK 1-2291 46 105 0 108 MOSSRUNNERS (928) MORDANT
GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
BASE ON BULLS 73-3101 20 6 3 97 THE BULLS (1144) ERINIKA
BLACK JACK SHELACK 47-4850 20 15 1 96 ROYAL FLUSH (146) NORTH FORK
-KID QUICK 56-3846 19 6 2 96 PUNCH-OUT! (1359) ROCANIS
LONDON QUIREBOY 59-2513 18 4 1 95 CHAPEL ROCK (1352) ILLIS
SUGARBEET 7-5219 31 31 1 91 SUGAR AND SPICE (1231) BONSUR
GRAND INITIATES W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
GAR & BRILL 38-4252 35 62 0 88 JUST BECAUSE (1228) CLIFFHOME
SPATHA 31-4996 27 17 2 87 SOL INVICTUS (1355) CHIMLEVTAL
SAIONJI 73-4447 19 6 1 87 PERFECTION QUEST II (1303) ERINIKA
WRETCHEDMISERY 33-7255 18 10 0 87 CHAOTICDISORDER (1353) NIATOLI ISLAND
KALIDOR THE BOLD 11-6441 18 5 0 87 TUFT TUGGERS (557) ARUAK CITY
DEMONICHELLION 33-7038 18 12 2 85 CHAOTICDISORDER (1353) NIATOLI ISLAND
PROWESS 2-5155 25 35 0 77 KNOT WHOLE (1333) NIANIA
SKI MASK 58-5869 50 86 0 75 CIRQUE DU MASQUES (1093) DELARQ TOR
SIR REALISTIC 10-5552 16 12 1 74 SIR AGLIO (788) KOLACT
KELDON WARLORD 42-2501 14 9 1 74 WIND STORM (1365) RODEKI
CAT IN THE HAT 24-3103 20 7 1 72 THE SEUSS HEUSS (804) ZORPUNT
RAUNI 31-5035 20 15 0 70 SOL INVICTUS (1355) CHIMLEVTAL
-PISTON HURRICANE 40-2287 23 17 0 66 AS FAR AS SIAM (1323) ZENSU
-YAKKO 7-3266 19 23 0 66 UNDER JOLLY ROGER (1351) BONSUR
-GLASS JOE 56-3847 17 8 0 64 PUNCH-OUT! (1359) ROCANIS
BACKLASH 65-6518 21 9 1 63 TOO GOOD FOR ME (1054) DAL SHANG
PINE LEAF 24-4580 23 24 0 61 KRILL CAVALRY (1364) ZORPUNT
SLIPPERY NIPPLE 59-2323 18 6 1 61 HANGOVERS (1153) ILLIS
ACE BAILEY 47-4948 15 21 0 61 ROYAL FLUSH (146) NORTH FORK
LIL E. TEE 15-4608 21 13 1 60 TRIPLE CROWN (990) MALCORN
MOUNTAIN GOAT 56-3700 33 45 3 55 REDHORSE (1325) ROCANIS
MOOSE 56-3459 22 33 0 53 REDHORSE (1325) ROCANIS
QUADRICEPS 10-5326 27 27 1 48 QUBIT (1136) KOLACT
KRAMER 47-5191 15 7 0 44 SECOND BANANAS (1363) NORTH FORK
'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.
THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN
PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE
50 Sucks -- I have a lot to say on that topic, but I'm too sleepy to do it justice.
So let me just put it this way: It ain't as bad as being DEAD, is it? -- Hallie
O'Dene
P.S. And you know, I wouldn't want to be twenty-five again. Physically, maybe, but
all those mistakes and misjudgments... no. Not a second time.
Batavia -- Durnk. Don't deny it, I can tell! Especially since you're for Lin
Tirian. They spend all their tiem drinking there. Red Pine Wine. Awful stuff.
Rots the barin. Leave it strictly aloen. -- Carrie Nation
Quadriceps -- Hah! You mammals make such a big deal of your muscles, but can you
FLY? As if! -- Ski Mask, Founder and President, Ducks with Swords and Certified
Superior Species (Duck)
Kookaburra -- Cookies, mmm! Don't forget to tell your manager to change your train.
-- Buck, fully clothed and proud of it
Yes, but what STYLE are you wearing?
Branford -- Surprise someone on a dark street? I've done that a few times. That can
get you run over. If you do that, I recommend not doing it naked. -- Buck
Segallion Sundancer -- Hmph. I scummed you. I don't think a 2-1-2 strategy is that
scummy, do you? I guess you need to work on your endurance. -- Gazelle
Desperado -- When the announcer talks about the "horrific power of the blow" and it's
a scimitar to the head... that's horrific, all right. I really don't remember it but
I was told they had to gather up bits of my brain out of the sand. -- Broken Toe
(comment suppressed)
I lost to Ninja Ferd. Oh, the humanity! -- Crooked Hoof
And I lost to Katrina. Didn't she used to be the spy reporter here? Shouldn't she
be retired in a mansion now, on that kind of pay? What is she doing as a fill-in
warrior? Well, anyhow, she's pretty good at it. -- Hummingbird
It's a dirty job, but somebody's got to do it.
Helm Hammerhand -- And that, son, is how you riposte. I see that you paid close
attention and learned well. -- Fealost
Prowess -- I'm very embarrassed to let myself get exhausted in just over two minutes.
I'll be running ten miles a day, starting... tomorrow. -- Mountain Goat
Gar & Brill -- That one feint of yours really turned the fight around, didn't it?
Good going. -- Moose
Tankesh -- I like this "fighting with mugs on a merry-go-round" idea. Let's do it!
-- Phetmolge, mgr Redhorse and Mossrunners
** Everybody who wants to be in on the merry-go-round fight, post an ad about it next
issue! Woo hoo! -- Phetmolge **
LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS
NUTCRACKER viciously subdued MAD DOC WILLIAMS in a 6 minute Challenge fight.
DESPERADO demolished HUMMINGBIRD in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge melee.
SWALLOWTAIL overpowered CARRIE NATION in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge duel.
SPATHA was overpowered by KOOKABURRA in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
SUGARBEET vanquished BACKLASH in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
WRETCHEDMISERY beat PROWESS in a 2 minute Challenge brawl.
FIENDISH GLEE was unbelievably bested by 50 SUCKS in a 3 minute Title fight.
KAIDEN vanquished QUONSET in a popular 1 minute uneven duel.
ARAC IRONFIST vanquished MOD COD in a popular 1 minute one-sided duel.
AGLIBOL was luckily beaten by STEVE MCQUEEN in a popular 3 minute gory melee.
HALLIE O'DENE subdued TICKLES in a crowd pleasing 2 minute bloody match.
EXILE was devastated by SIR OCCO in a crowd pleasing 2 minute gory one-sided battle.
SINCLAIR overcame ZLATINA ANGUELOVA in a popular 2 minute conflict.
POPE PAUL II was viciously subdued by ARENAMASTER AZEEM in a 6 minute bout.
FEALOST was handily defeated by SEGALLION SUNDANCER in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
PERFECT TEN slimly lost to KERMORVAN in a popular 4 minute brutal brawl.
BECKY demolished JOE KING in a exciting 1 minute one-sided bout.
OSCAR luckily beat BROKEN TOE in a crowd pleasing 1 minute conflict.
CROOKED HOOF viciously subdued AEDON in a popular 2 minute gruesome bout.
GAZELLE demolished QUEEN AMAZONIA in a 2 minute gruesome uneven bout.
KONGOL handily defeated JOHN LONGSHORE in a 1 minute one-sided contest.
BUCK was savagely defeated by BRANFORD HAWKE in a popular 4 minute gruesome fight.
APPLE JACK was savagely defeated by BATAVIA in a action packed 3 minute gory fight.
BRIARTHORN defeated BLACK JACK SHELACK in a 2 minute match.
ROWDY YOBBO was vanquished by HELM HAMMERHAND in a 1 minute uneven bout.
CAT IN THE HAT was viciously subdued by KALIDOR THE BOLD in a 3 minute bout.
BASE ON BULLS overcame GAR & BRILL in a 2 minute duel.
LONDON QUIREBOY beat SIR REALISTIC in a 2 minute fight.
RAUNI savagely defeated ACE BAILEY in a action packed 7 minute gory duel.
PINE LEAF narrowly defeated QUADRICEPS in a popular 3 minute gory match.
DEMONICHELLION overpowered LIL E. TEE in a action packed 1 minute one-sided bout.
KELDON WARLORD devastated MOUNTAIN GOAT in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
SAIONJI devastated SLIPPERY NIPPLE in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided battle.
KRAMER was overpowered by SKI MASK in a 1 minute one-sided fray.
MOOSE was demolished by HERMY in a 1 minute mismatched match.
BATTLE REPORT
MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS
|FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK 13 WALL OF STEEL 52 - 26 - 0 67 |
|WALL OF STEEL 12 PARRY-RIPOSTE 21 - 16 - 0 57 |
|AIMED BLOW 9 AIMED BLOW 52 - 42 - 0 55 |
|STRIKING ATTACK 9 LUNGING ATTACK 66 - 63 - 0 51 |
|BASHING ATTACK 8 STRIKING ATTACK 46 - 48 - 0 49 |
|SLASHING ATTACK 7 PARRY-STRIKE 8 - 9 - 0 47 |
|TOTAL PARRY 6 PARRY-LUNGE 8 - 9 - 0 47 |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE 3 SLASHING ATTACK 30 - 39 - 0 43 |
|PARRY-LUNGE 1 TOTAL PARRY 22 - 31 - 0 42 |
|PARRY-STRIKE 0 BASHING ATTACK 26 - 53 - 0 33 |
Turn 419 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are:
PARRY-LUNGE 1 - 0 STRIKING ATTACK 3 - 6 5 AIMED BLOW
SLASHING ATTACK 5 - 2 LUNGING ATTACK 4 - 9 3 LUNGING ATTACK
PARRY-RIPOSTE 2 - 1 TOTAL PARRY 1 - 5 1 WALL OF STEEL
WALL OF STEEL 8 - 4 PARRY-STRIKE 0 - 0 1 SLASHING ATTACK
AIMED BLOW 5 - 4 1 BASHING ATTACK
BASHING ATTACK 4 - 4
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE
FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME
WALL OF STEEL 50 SUCKS 60-4129 93 49 2 239 JOKA MASHER! (833)
LUNGING ATTACK KAIDEN 35-3108 105 102 2 234 VIOLENT FEMS (972)
SLASHING ATTACK ARAC IRONFIST 67-1944 35 29 0 225 RAZOR GRACE (1327)
AIMED BLOW HALLIE O'DENE 58-6018 65 90 0 212 CIRQUE DU MASQUES (1093)
BASHING ATTACK TICKLES 9-3486 64 85 1 195 MY PETS (554)
TOTAL PARRY MAD DOC WILLIAMS 77-2432 30 13 0 183 POSSE (1362)
STRIKING ATTACK SINCLAIR 1-6269 29 7 3 183 WIND STORM (649)
PARRY-RIPOSTE SWALLOWTAIL 1-7387 31 16 2 163 MANNEQUIN'S BEST (1227)
PARRY-LUNGE SEGALLION SUNDANC 11-4600 34 27 1 146 TUFT TUGGERS (557)
The overall popularity leader is KAIDEN 35-3108. The most popular warrior this turn
was NUTCRACKER 38-4380. The ten other most popular fighters were CAT IN THE HAT
24-3103, PERFECT TEN 47-4218, RAUNI 31-5035, FIENDISH GLEE 46-1553, KERMORVAN 1-3116,
QUADRICEPS 10-5326, BRANFORD HAWKE 11-5077, BATAVIA 78-238, MAD DOC WILLIAMS 77-2432,
and AGLIBOL 12-5848.
The least popular fighter this week was MOOSE 56-3459. The other ten least popular
fighters were KRAMER 47-5191, JOHN LONGSHORE 11-4197, FEALOST 1-3916, BACKLASH
65-6518, HUMMINGBIRD 56-3475, SLIPPERY NIPPLE 59-2323, MOUNTAIN GOAT 56-3700, ROWDY
YOBBO 20-3429, JOE KING 47-2223, and MOD COD 55-2638.
Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K
MORDANT(1) 3 2 0 CHIMLEVTAL(31) 2 1 0 DELARQ TOR(58) 2 0 0
NIANIA(2) 0 1 0 NIATOLI ISLAND(33) 3 0 0 ILLIS(59) 1 1 0
BONSUR(7) 2 2 0 MURSKA(35) 1 0 0 ARADI(60) 1 0 0
ZUKAL(9) 0 1 0 CLIFFHOME(38) 1 1 0 KURUKAR(64) 0 1 0
KOLACT(10) 1 3 0 RODEKI(42) 1 0 0 DAL SHANG(65) 0 1 0
ARUAK CITY(11) 3 2 0 ARDIVENT(46) 0 1 0 BARIKALA(67) 1 0 0
RIZTAB(12) 1 2 0 NORTH FORK(47) 1 6 0 ERINIKA(73) 2 0 0
MALCORN(15) 0 1 0 SNOWBOUND(50) 1 0 0 MAZGOURRAH(77) 1 1 0
ALJAFIR(17) 1 0 0 KHALANI(55) 0 1 0 LIN TIRIAN(78) 1 0 0
SEAM(20) 0 1 0 ROCANIS(56) 2 4 0 MIROI CHANG(79) 0 1 0
ZORPUNT(24) 1 1 0
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
SINCLAIR 1-6269 29 7 3 183 WIND STORM (649) MORDANT
PROWESS 2-5155 25 35 0 77 KNOT WHOLE (1333) NIANIA
EXILE 7-4618 32 29 1 174 BLADES OF ICE (162) BONSUR
TICKLES 9-3486 64 85 1 195 MY PETS (554) ZUKAL
SIR OCCO 10-5079 42 28 0 194 SIR AGLIO (788) KOLACT
ZLATINA ANGUELOVA 11-4856 33 33 1 160 TUFT TUGGERS (557) ARUAK CITY
AGLIBOL 12-5848 28 14 0 185 DARKMOON (1197) RIZTAB
LIL E. TEE 15-4608 21 13 1 60 TRIPLE CROWN (990) MALCORN
BECKY 17-5782 23 10 3 165 BLADES OF STEEL (1068) ALJAFIR
ROWDY YOBBO 20-3429 23 24 1 112 SPARF! (1069) SEAM
CAT IN THE HAT 24-3103 20 7 1 72 THE SEUSS HEUSS (804) ZORPUNT
HELM HAMMERHAND 31-5025 28 14 0 129 LORDS OF VALHALLA (1208) CHIMLEVTAL
KOOKABURRA 33-4151 63 94 3 118 GIRL SCOUT COOKIES (812) NIATOLI ISLAND
KAIDEN 35-3108 105 102 2 234 VIOLENT FEMS (972) MURSKA
NUTCRACKER 38-4380 31 23 1 200 ALL FINESSE (1236) CLIFFHOME
KELDON WARLORD 42-2501 14 9 1 74 WIND STORM (1365) RODEKI
FIENDISH GLEE 46-1553 32 19 5 209 CLEVER LINGO (1212) ARDIVENT
STEVE MCQUEEN 47-3908 40 40 1 205 ROYAL FLUSH (146) NORTH FORK
OSCAR 50-3153 31 8 0 132 OPEN SESAME (824) SNOWBOUND
MOD COD 55-2638 73 97 3 188 RHYME TYME (449) KHALANI
GAZELLE 56-3701 30 24 0 151 REDHORSE (1325) ROCANIS
HALLIE O'DENE 58-6018 65 90 0 212 CIRQUE DU MASQUES (1093) DELARQ TOR
LONDON QUIREBOY 59-2513 18 4 1 95 CHAPEL ROCK (1352) ILLIS
50 SUCKS 60-4129 93 49 2 239 JOKA MASHER! (833) ARADI
CARRIE NATION 64-4054 63 94 0 146 REFORMERS (1095) KURUKAR
BACKLASH 65-6518 21 9 1 63 TOO GOOD FOR ME (1054) DAL SHANG
ARAC IRONFIST 67-1944 35 29 0 225 RAZOR GRACE (1327) BARIKALA
BASE ON BULLS 73-3101 20 6 3 97 THE BULLS (1144) ERINIKA
MAD DOC WILLIAMS 77-2432 30 13 0 183 POSSE (1362) MAZGOURRAH
BATAVIA 78-238 25 15 0 139 LETHAL HERITAGE (750) LIN TIRIAN
POPE PAUL II 79-1317 23 14 0 173 CHAPEL ROCK (776) MIROI CHANG