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Date   : 02/22/2006    Duedate: 03/07/2006

HOME GUARD

DM-101    TURN-422

RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %  RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %
  1 TUFT TUGGERS 11/557   336  224  4 60.0      PARTY ANIMALS 5/591                   
  2 POSSE 77/1362           8    6  0 57.1      ROYAL FLUSH 47/146                    
  3 KILLING ME S 96/1367  362  274  1 56.9      BLOWN AWAY 44/820                     
    GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME 99/1306                  DUCKS UNLIMITED 39/1221               
    KILLING ME SOFTER 97/1368                   CHAPEL ROCK 59/1352                   
  4 BLADES OF ICE 7/162   374  306  7 55.0    8 RAZOR GRACE 67/1327    67   64  0 51.1
    BLADES OF STEEL 17/1068                   9 LORDS OF VAL 31/1208   33   34  0 49.3
    BLADES OF MIST 4/780                     10 WIND STORM 1/649       78   87  0 47.3
  5-QUBIT 10/1136        1045  874 10 54.5      WIND STORM 42/1365                    
    TOO GOOD FOR ME 65/1054                     LETHAL HERITAGE 78/750                
    TRIPLE CROWN 15/990                      11 AVENGERS 31/1321       72   96  0 42.9
    JOKA MASHER! 60/833                         MEDIEVAL CHAOS 22/1342                
    SIR AGLIO 10/788                            PUNCH-OUT! 56/1359                    
    KNOT WHOLE 2/1333                           LORDS OF CHAOS 11/1348                
  6 ALL FINESSE 38/1236   148  135  1 52.3      AS FAR AS SIAM 40/1323                
    CLEVER LINGO 46/1212                        UNDER JOLLY ROGER 7/1351              
    MANNEQUIN'S BEST 1/1227                  12 VIOLENT FEMS 35/972   421  574  9 42.3
    SWEET NOTHINGS 82/1366                      JUST BECAUSE 38/1228                  
    SECOND BANANAS 47/1363                   13 DARKMOON 12/1197       72   99  0 42.1
    PERFECTION QUEST II 73/1303                 SOL INVICTUS 31/1355                  
    LAB EXPERIMENTS 1/1207                      CHAOTICDISORDER 33/1353               
    THE BLOODGUARD 2 96/1369                 14 MY PETS 9/554         525  796 15 39.7
  7 SPARF! 20/1069        757  715 11 51.4      THE SEUSS HEUSS 24/804                
    THE BULLS 73/1144                           RHYME TYME 55/449                     
    HANGOVERS 59/1153                           GIRL SCOUT COOKIES 33/812             
    OTTO'S MECHANICS 28/1073                 15 REDHORSE 56/1325      216  334  1 39.3
    OPEN SESAME 50/824                          MOSSRUNNERS 1/928                     
    NOT QUITE 59/1237                        16 REFORMERS 64/1095     506  828  6 37.9
    CHAPEL ROCK 79/776                          KRILL CAVALRY 24/1364                 
    SKI TAOS 23/1070                            CIRQUE DU MASQUES 58/1093             

    '##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id     '-'  Team did not fight this turn

                                 THE GUARDIAN'S FORUM
                       Reflections by the Captain of the Guard

     What?  I'm the Captainess of the Guard?  Me?  When?  How?  Why?  I don't have a
THING to wear, er, I mean, to SAY.  If you don't boot me out of here this time,
however, I will make an effort to speak up at length NEXT time.

                                   Hallie O'Dene

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

     I was going to do a Debby, sun, sand, silence, all that good stuff that starts 
with ess.  But the Commission's flunkies beat me to the door and locked it.  First a 
spy report, they said, THEN you can go out.  Fat lot they know about it.  Like I'd be 
ready to do anything but collapse after doing a spy report!

     Tuft Tuggers were avoided by Royal Flush.  This probably has deep significance 
and hidden messages of cosmic importance, but I don't do secret significances and 
deep messages at this time of night.  I can barely do coherent.  Hmm.  Probably I 
should try to channel Debby Tonte.  Coherence is irrelevant there.  Nah, too much 
effort to change personas in mid-spy report, even if this isn't hardly the MID yet.  
Still.
     Briarthorn got more challenges than the captain of the guard, which wasn't 
difficult, as the c. of the g. didn't get a one.  Pooh.
     Forty-two fights, including eighteen challenges matches, one of them a tv 
challenge.  This is gazebo.  Yeah, I know, that's Debby's word, but sometimes she's 
got the mot, that kid.  Anyway, I can't talk about forty-two fights.  I don't have 
the processing capacity for it.

     So, a few of the high, or it might be low, points.
     Starting with a death.  BROKEN TOE (56-3683) (32-52-1,108) of REDHORSE fought 
BASE ON BULLS (73-3101) (21-6-3,122) of THE BULLS.  BROKEN TOE was easily killed by 
BASE ON BULLS in a 1 minute uneven bout.  Easily.  That should make Toe happy when he 
wakes up.  This Bull found him easy.  Hmm.  Maybe because he was hampered by that 
crippled toe, couldn't dodge, something like that?  I make you a gift of that excuse, 
Toe.  For when your manager comes asking how you went down so EASILY.

     KALIDOR THE BOLD (11-6441) (19-6-0,84) of TUFT TUGGERS challenged BLACK JACK 
SHELACK (47-4850) (21-15-1,98) of ROYAL FLUSH.  Up 14.  KALIDOR THE BOLD defeated 
BLACK JACK SHELACK in an exciting 4 minute Challenge bout.  Amazing, the things 
people get excited about.  Not surprising, necessarily.  After all, the people in 
question chose to spend a perfectly gorgeous, sunny winter day sitting on a bunch of 
stone seats watching people they don't know personally hack each other to pieces.  It 
makes you wonder sometimes.  Or if it doesn't, it should.
     SLIPPERY NIPPLE (59-2323) (19-6-1,86) of HANGOVERS challenged YAKKO (7-3266) 
(20-24-0,67) of UNDER JOLLY ROGER.  Down 19.  SLIPPERY NIPPLE devastated YAKKO in a 1 
minute mismatched Challenge brawl.  This doesn't make sense.  Here is this pirate--
that's what the "jolly roger" thing means, right?  And "hangovers" has to do with 
getting drunk.  But I thought pirates could hold their drink.  Ah.  Holding it is one 
thing, swallowing is another?
     KRAMER (47-5191) (15-7-0,44) of SECOND BANANAS challenged GAR & BRILL (38-4252) 
(35-64-0,70) of JUST BECAUSE.  Up bunches.  Why do I have to do math at this hour?  
Oh, all right.  Up... 26.  KRAMER vanquished GAR & BRILL in a 1 minute one-sided 
Challenge fray.  One-sided doesn't begin to cover this.  The Gar, not to mention the 
Brill, has not yet "sprung back" from being resurrected last time.  Not to mention 
being slapped with citations for violation of the Health Code.  You should've seen 
the kitchen!

     CEER (96-1537) (9-2-4,39) of THE BLOODGUARD 2 challenged MOUNTAIN GOAT (56-3700) 
(33-47-3,38) of REDHORSE.  Down 1.  CEER was overpowered by MOUNTAIN GOAT in a 1 
minute one-sided Challenge duel.  Experience strikes again.  I almost didn't say 
that.  Couldn't remember how to spell it.  I probably need to eat more fish.  Yuck.
     ACE BAILEY (47-4948) (15-22-0,56) of ROYAL FLUSH challenged DEMONICHELLION (33-
7038) (18-14-2,52) of CHAOTICDISORDER.  Down 4.  ACE BAILEY overpowered 
DEMONICHELLION in a 2 minute mismatched Challenge conflict.  Aces low again.  Life is 
hard when you're tossed into an arena with a demonichellion.
     SEX CAMEL (82-25548) (16-21-4,96) of SWEET NOTHINGS challenged HOCKEY DUCK (39-
937) (27-17-1,100) of DUCKS UNLIMITED.  Up 4.  SEX CAMEL demolished HOCKEY DUCK in a 
1 minute mismatched Challenge match.  No, I will NOT make the obvious comments here.  
If you want comments about this conjunction, you'll have to go to Aradi, where it's 
probably business as usual.
     APPLE JACK (47-4011) (32-27-4,135) of ROYAL FLUSH challenged BUCK (1-2291) (47-
106-0,113) of MOSSRUNNERS.  Down 22.  APPLE JACK savagely defeated BUCK in a crowd 
pleasing 3 minute Challenge competition.  This is more liquor, right?  Well, drat.  
Gladiators are supposed to... right, I forgot.  Holding it in the hand is one thing, 
but most of you guys can't drink like a corpse.  I can really soak it up.

     OSCAR (50-3153) (32-8-0,140) of OPEN SESAME challenged QUEEN AMAZONIA (12-4796) 
(39-54-1,121) of DARKMOON.  Down 19.  OSCAR was handily defeated by QUEEN AMAZONIA in 
a 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.  You just can't trust female gladiators.  There 
they sit, low-ranked, and you think, "Ha!  An easy win."  No such animal.  Deceptive 
is what they are.
     BRANFORD HAWKE (11-5077) (29-27-0,115) of TUFT TUGGERS challenged BLIND ILLUSION 
(22-6379) (26-19-1,139) of MEDIEVAL CHAOS.  Up 24.  BRANFORD HAWKE was vanquished by 
BLIND ILLUSION in a 2 minute Challenge fight.  Lots of people get suckered by 
illusions, and young guys more than anybody.  I've seen it happen many times.
     ROWDY YOBBO (20-3429) (24-24-1,141) of SPARF! challenged BRIARTHORN (12-5671) 
(26-26-1,126) of DARKMOON.  Down 15, I think.  Sometimes the numbers get to squirming 
around on the page and it's hard to tell what they are.  ROWDY YOBBO lost to 
BRIARTHORN in an action packed 1 minute Challenge fight.  Way to go, Briarthorn.  
Whack him upside the head and rip his clothes with thorns.  These rowdies need to 
learn what's what.  Or should that be what's which?
     POPE PAUL II (79-1317) (23-15-0,169) of CHAPEL ROCK challenged GAZELLE (56-3701) 
(31-25-0,180) of REDHORSE.  Up 11.  POPE PAUL II was viciously subdued by GAZELLE in 
a 10 minute Challenge melee.  And if you ever want to know what "vicious" is, just 
watch a Rirorni spend ten minutes working over an opponent.  Scourges, the Rirorni.  
Through and through.  Caravan raiders, every one!
     ZLATINA ANGUELOVA (11-4856) (35-33-1,174) of TUFT TUGGERS challenged TICKLES (9-
3486) (64-87-1,186) of MY PETS.  Up 12.  ZLATINA ANGUELOVA slimly won victory over 
TICKLES in a 2 minute Challenge competition.  You can pack a lot of tickling into two 
minutes.  More than you might think.  And cat hairs everywhere!  I don't know how 
they're going to get 'em out of the sand.

     KERMORVAN (1-3116) (26-15-0,167) of LAB EXPERIMENTS challenged EXILE (7-4618) 
(33-30-1,186) of BLADES OF ICE.  Up 19.  KERMORVAN viciously subdued EXILE in a crowd 
pleasing 2 minute brutal Challenge fight.  Exile was not only subdued and re-exiled 
but MELTED.  Well, half-melted.  Two minutes isn't long enough for a complete job.
     SWALLOWTAIL (1-7387) (31-16-2,163) of MANNEQUIN'S BEST challenged HELM 
HAMMERHAND (31-5025) (30-14-0,168) of LORDS OF VALHALLA.  Up 5.  SWALLOWTAIL 
overpowered HELM HAMMERHAND in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge match.  Ah, this 
reminds me, weren't we supposed to have a brick wall here for the Swallowtailed One 
to perch on?  Have to check with the stewards and see if they accidentally assigned 
it to architectural work.
     PERFECT TEN (47-4218) (30-25-1,158) of ROYAL FLUSH challenged KOOKABURRA (33-
4151) (64-95-4,159) of GIRL SCOUT COOKIES.  Up 1.  PERFECT TEN bested KOOKABURRA in a 
popular 2 minute Challenge contest.  I gotta tell you, I wouldn't put Kooks at the 
number-ten position in the Cookie Parade.  They're OKAY, but there's better.
     AGLIBOL (12-5848) (29-15-0,192) of DARKMOON challenged R IS FOR REPUGNANT (99-
1155) (23-14-4,196) of GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME.  Up 4.  AGLIBOL was demolished by R IS FOR 
REPUGNANT in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.  Doubtless Aglibol found this a 
repugnant, repellant, and revolting experience.  Messy, too.  When the announcer says 
"demolished," what he MEANS is thoroughly disassembled and spread around.
     MAD DOC WILLIAMS (77-2432) (32-13-0,216) of POSSE challenged REDEMPTION (4-4868) 
(34-26-1,212) of BLADES OF MIST.  Down 4.  MAD DOC WILLIAMS won victory over 
REDEMPTION in a 2 minute Challenge battle.  No surprise.  Who can expect to win a 
fight with a blade made of MIST?  Ridiculous.  Totally unreasonable and illogical.  
That winning record is just, um, an artifact of statistical confusion.

     The tv challenge:  SAIONJI (73-4447) (19-6-1,87) of PERFECTION QUEST II TV 
challenged SKI MASK (58-5869) (51-87-1,97) of CIRQUE DU MASQUES.  Up 10.  SAIONJI 
devastated SKI MASK in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.  Will somebody please 
ROAST that Duck?  It's going to make annoying comments, I can tell.

     And for the title:  HALLIE O'DENE (58-6018) (66-91-0,217) of CIRQUE DU MASQUES 
fought KAIDEN (35-3108) (105-104-2,187) of VIOLENT FEMS.  HALLIE O'DENE was 
overpowered by KAIDEN in a 1 minute one-sided Title match.  I'm a little surprised 
that Kaiden didn't kill Hallie.  That's what she did last time she got hold of the 
title.  So watch out, whoever comes up against her next!  This fem really IS violent.

                                        Olaf

CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD          W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 KAIDEN 35-3108             106 104  2  205  VIOLENT FEMS (972)         MURSKA

GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-50 SUCKS 60-4129            94  49  2  247  JOKA MASHER! (833)         ARADI
 MAD DOC WILLIAMS 77-2432    33  13  0  226  POSSE (1362)               MAZGOURRAH
 STEVE MCQUEEN 47-3908       42  40  1  224  ROYAL FLUSH (146)          NORTH FORK
 MOD COD 55-2638             76  97  3  223  RHYME TYME (449)           KHALANI
 SINCLAIR 1-6269             31   8  3  212  WIND STORM (649)           MORDANT
 R IS FOR REPUGNANT 99-1155  24  14  4  212  GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME (1306)  SOUTH RIDGE

GRAND CHAMPIONS               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-FANNY BELT 28-1804          41  24  1  206  OTTO'S MECHANICS (1073)    MORYA
 REDEMPTION 4-4868           34  27  1  203  BLADES OF MIST (780)       JHELUM
-SIR OCCO 10-5079            43  28  0  201  SIR AGLIO (788)            KOLACT
 ARAC IRONFIST 67-1944       35  32  0  191  RAZOR GRACE (1327)         BARIKALA
 NUTCRACKER 38-4380          31  24  1  191  ALL FINESSE (1236)         CLIFFHOME
 FIENDISH GLEE 46-1553       32  20  5  190  CLEVER LINGO (1212)        ARDIVENT
 GAZELLE 56-3701             32  25  0  189  REDHORSE (1325)            ROCANIS
 ZLATINA ANGUELOVA 11-4856   36  33  1  186  TUFT TUGGERS (557)         ARUAK CITY
 AGLIBOL 12-5848             29  16  0  186  DARKMOON (1197)            RIZTAB
 SWALLOWTAIL 1-7387          32  16  2  185  MANNEQUIN'S BEST (1227)    MORDANT
 KERMORVAN 1-3116            27  15  0  185  LAB EXPERIMENTS (1207)     MORDANT
 HALLIE O'DENE 58-6018       66  92  0  184  CIRQUE DU MASQUES (1093)   DELARQ TOR
 UZI 44-1701                 30  30  1  182  BLOWN AWAY (820)           KRILL

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 TICKLES 9-3486              64  88  1  179  MY PETS (554)              ZUKAL
 EXILE 7-4618                33  31  1  177  BLADES OF ICE (162)        BONSUR
 BATAVIA 78-238              27  16  0  176  LETHAL HERITAGE (750)      LIN TIRIAN
 POPE PAUL II 79-1317        23  16  0  170  CHAPEL ROCK (776)          MIROI CHANG
-QUONSET 10-4990             53  34  0  169  QUBIT (1136)               KOLACT
 TEDDY RUXPIN 11-6399        36  21  1  169  LORDS OF CHAOS (1348)      ARUAK CITY
 SEGALLION SUNDANCE 11-4600  37  27  1  166  TUFT TUGGERS (557)         ARUAK CITY
 PERFECT TEN 47-4218         31  25  1  165  ROYAL FLUSH (146)          NORTH FORK
 HELM HAMMERHAND 31-5025     30  15  0  159  LORDS OF VALHALLA (1208)   CHIMLEVTAL
 KOOKABURRA 33-4151          64  96  4  158  GIRL SCOUT COOKIES (812)   NIATOLI ISLAND
 QUEEN AMAZONIA 12-4796      40  54  1  154  DARKMOON (1197)            RIZTAB
 JOE KING 47-2223            32  55  1  153  ROYAL FLUSH (146)          NORTH FORK
 BECKY 17-5782               24  12  3  153  BLADES OF STEEL (1068)     ALJAFIR
 CARRIE NATION 64-4054       65  95  0  151  REFORMERS (1095)           KURUKAR

GRAND ADEPTS                  W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 ROT TEN EGGS 47-3099        39  37  0  147  ROYAL FLUSH (146)          NORTH FORK
 BLIND ILLUSION 22-6379      27  19  1  145  MEDIEVAL CHAOS (1342)      SOLVEN
 KI 31-165                   36  45  1  144  AVENGERS (1321)            CHIMLEVTAL
 BASE ON BULLS 73-3101       22   6  4  143  THE BULLS (1144)           ERINIKA
 CROOKED HOOF 56-3493        37  28  0  141  REDHORSE (1325)            ROCANIS
 BRIARTHORN 12-5671          27  26  1  140  DARKMOON (1197)            RIZTAB
 JOHN LONGSHORE 11-4197      32  42  0  138  TUFT TUGGERS (557)         ARUAK CITY
 APPLE JACK 47-4011          33  27  4  137  ROYAL FLUSH (146)          NORTH FORK
 DESPERADO 77-2459           28  15  2  135  POSSE (1362)               MAZGOURRAH
 AEDON 7-4295                43  34  1  131  BLADES OF ICE (162)        BONSUR
 ROWDY YOBBO 20-3429         24  25  1  129  SPARF! (1069)              SEAM
 LONDON QUIREBOY 59-2513     20   4  1  125  CHAPEL ROCK (1352)         ILLIS
 KONGOL 7-4524               38  35  2  122  BLADES OF ICE (162)        BONSUR
 FEALOST 1-3916              51  74  1  120  MOSSRUNNERS (928)          MORDANT
 OSCAR 50-3153               32   9  0  120  OPEN SESAME (824)          SNOWBOUND
 HUMMINGBIRD 56-3475         33  37  0  118  REDHORSE (1325)            ROCANIS
 BUCK 1-2291                 47 107  0  117  MOSSRUNNERS (928)          MORDANT
 LONE WOLF 31-162            38  45  1  117  AVENGERS (1321)            CHIMLEVTAL
 SEX CAMEL 82-25548          17  21  4  114  SWEET NOTHINGS (1366)      DWES EG
 BRANFORD HAWKE 11-5077      29  28  0  113  TUFT TUGGERS (557)         ARUAK CITY

GRAND ADEPTS                  W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 BROKEN TOE 56-3683          32  53  1  106  REDHORSE (1325)            ROCANIS

GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 HUNZICKER BOWL 23-4182      25  13  1  100  SKI TAOS (1070)            TI
 KID QUICK 56-3846           21   7  2  100  PUNCH-OUT! (1359)          ROCANIS
 SAIONJI 73-4447             20   6  1  100  PERFECTION QUEST II (1303) ERINIKA
 KALIDOR THE BOLD 11-6441    20   6  0  100  TUFT TUGGERS (557)         ARUAK CITY
-CATFISH HUNTER 5-3315       15  16  1  100  PARTY ANIMALS (591)        KALTOS
 RAUNI 31-5035               23  15  0   94  SOL INVICTUS (1355)        CHIMLEVTAL
 BLACK JACK SHELACK 47-4850  21  16  1   93  ROYAL FLUSH (146)          NORTH FORK
 PISTON HURRICANE 40-2287    26  17  0   92  AS FAR AS SIAM (1323)      ZENSU
 SLIPPERY NIPPLE 59-2323     20   6  1   91  HANGOVERS (1153)           ILLIS

GRAND INITIATES               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 HOCKEY DUCK 39-937          27  18  1   88  DUCKS UNLIMITED (1221)     XOCHITHLAN
 SKI MASK 58-5869            51  88  1   86  CIRQUE DU MASQUES (1093)   DELARQ TOR
 CAT IN THE HAT 24-3103      22   8  1   84  THE SEUSS HEUSS (804)      ZORPUNT
-QUADRICEPS 10-5326          28  27  1   82  QUBIT (1136)               KOLACT
-LIL E. TEE 15-4608          22  13  1   81  TRIPLE CROWN (990)         MALCORN
 MOOSE 56-3459               24  34  0   80  REDHORSE (1325)            ROCANIS
-PROWESS 2-5155              25  36  0   79  KNOT WHOLE (1333)          NIANIA
-NATASHA 78-1937             22  11  2   79  LETHAL HERITAGE (750)      LIN TIRIAN
 HEBEE 38-4359               15   9  0   73  ALL FINESSE (1236)         CLIFFHOME
 GLASS JOE 56-3847           18  10  0   72  PUNCH-OUT! (1359)          ROCANIS
 IMMOVEABLE OBJECT 59-2110   22   7  1   70  NOT QUITE (1237)           ILLIS
 ACE BAILEY 47-4948          16  22  0   68  ROYAL FLUSH (146)          NORTH FORK
 SPATHA 31-4996              28  19  2   67  SOL INVICTUS (1355)        CHIMLEVTAL
 KELDON WARLORD 42-2501      16  10  1   67  WIND STORM (1365)          RODEKI
-SIR REALISTIC 10-5552       16  13  1   67  SIR AGLIO (788)            KOLACT
 KRAMER 47-5191              16   7  0   67  SECOND BANANAS (1363)      NORTH FORK
 YAKKO 7-3266                20  25  0   66  UNDER JOLLY ROGER (1351)   BONSUR
 PINE LEAF 24-4580           24  26  0   63  KRILL CAVALRY (1364)       ZORPUNT
-BACKLASH 65-6518            21  10  1   56  TOO GOOD FOR ME (1054)     DAL SHANG
 MOUNTAIN GOAT 56-3700       34  47  3   54  REDHORSE (1325)            ROCANIS
 PORK ROLL 97-1634            7   5  5   52  KILLING ME SOFTER (1368)   SHADOW GROVE
 WRETCHEDMISERY 33-7255      19  12  0   51  CHAOTICDISORDER (1353)     NIATOLI ISLAND
 BULL DURHAM 5-4324          17   7  0   50  PARTY ANIMALS (591)        KALTOS
 GAR & BRILL 38-4252         35  65  0   49  JUST BECAUSE (1228)        CLIFFHOME
 TORYN 78-71                 15  24  2   46  LETHAL HERITAGE (750)      LIN TIRIAN
 DEMONICHELLION 33-7038      18  15  2   44  CHAOTICDISORDER (1353)     NIATOLI ISLAND
 FAT BACK 96-1610             8   4  4   39  KILLING ME SOFTLY (1367)   OLD VALAMANTIS
 REDDI WHIP 97-1636           8   4  6   37  KILLING ME SOFTER (1368)   SHADOW GROVE
 CEER 96-1537                 9   3  4   28  THE BLOODGUARD 2 (1369)    OLD VALAMANTIS

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                    W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY              TURN
BROKEN TOE 56-3683         32  53  1 REDHORSE 1325          BASE ON BULLS 73-3101  422

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

      This was misfiled in Aruak City, but I think it's still on time. -- Ed.

Phetmolge -- Merry-go-Round fights?  Hmm, what?  Did I miss something?  Hold on....
<looking through old newsletters...>  Oh, sorry, I should have queued my lackluster
gladiators to give a shout out.  I'll volunteer them all, we'll see what they think
of that.  All my Home Guard warriors are now open for the merry-go round beer mug
brawl. -- Tankesh

Pine Leaf -- You think Dwarves are happy-go-lucky-hug-the-tree kind of people?
HOGWASH!!  Those are Elves.  If you confuse me with an elf again, I'll need to REALLY
get cantankerous! -- Keldon Warlord

Home Guard -- I've just arrived on the Isle, and I'm having a party!  All of Lord
Xiang's warriors here will be arriving to celebrate.  Swing on down! -- Natasha

Home Guard is much different than Lin Tirian, hun, be careful! -- Kenny

Not MUCH different, Kenny. -- Kroetlan

Hey!  At least the food is hot and the drinks are cold! -- Farin

Whatever.  I'm stuck here for a while, unless the Commission gets other ideas. --
Batavia

I just enjoy the sights on the Isle.  I'm a perpetual tourist! -- Khemra

I still feel like I'm at home in Lin Tirian.  I still can't win for crap. -- Toryn

At least you guys have friends from your region to keep you company.  I'm the only
one from my city, since they closed it down. -- Shadow

You aren't the ONLY one without a companion, Shadow.  Lord Xiang just doesn't run in
Dal Shang anymore. -- Carly

Blah, blah, blah.  Stop whining.  You have to buck up if you are going to face
creatures from Chaos for the Grey Lady. -- Keldon Warlord

That's a fact, Keldon, no two ways about it! -- Barak

Um, where's the cake? -- Bongo

Congratulations, Natasha!  Welcome to Home Guard! -- Khemi

At least Lord Xiang lets us party whenever he gets a new warrior invited. -- Sinclair

Ewwww.  Bongo, who told you plaid and tie-dye were an acceptable wardrobe combo? --
Flair

It *does* feel good to be able to stretch our legs in the arena again.  Even if it IS
for a brief time.  Welcome, Natasha. -- Walker

That it does, Walker.  I don't get to swing at folks too often anymore. -- Sheridan

Zathrus fight.  Zathrus no sit down.  Zathrus make sure other person sits down.
Zathrus full of....  Hmm.  What is Zathrus full of?  If anyone tell Zathrus what
Zathrus is full of, Zathrus would be plenty pleased.

     Beer, probably.  All gladiators are full of beer.

Ace Bailey -- That was exhausting!  But I think the correct comment here is, "Good
fight."  And in so far as a fight CAN be (I'm a pacifist, within reason), it WAS a
good one.  I salute you. -- Pine Leaf

Arac Ironfist -- You look vaguely familiar. -- Hallie O'Dene
P.S.  Which doesn't stop me from doing my utmost to win the fight!  As if!

Queen Amazonia -- (scowling)  Are you the drunken sailor, or the sailor's drunken
wench?  Not that it matters which.  The key word being "drunken."  Ha! -- Carrie
Nation

Gar & Brill -- Ha!  Take that, you mammal! -- Ski Mask, Founder and President of
Ducks with Swords

Amazing, we went four and oh!  That was a strange fluke. -- Ho-Chan

Perfect Ten -- Now THAT was a good fight! -- Zlatina

Joe King -- And it goes on.... -- Segallion

Rowdy Yobbo -- You know, once you knock me down, you could have just let me give it
up and sleep it off. -- Branford

Hummingbird -- I might be improving, despite my age, but I still have a lot to learn
as shown by your ease in defeating old me. -- John Longshore

Hockey Puck -- You beat me?  I seem to need to learn a few more tricks, and that
doesn't happen often.  Well done. -- Kalidor

Okay, challenges, challenges...hmm.... -- Tankesh

30 January 2006
We of the Desolate Empire Alliance want to announce with glad hearts that Heathen
Hatebred is no longer just a friend, but also an alliance-mate.  Heathen brings a lot
with him to our alliance.  His experience, talent, and loyalty will be a great
benefit to us all.  Welcome Heathen; may all our enemies' blood continue to flow
freely! -- Dark Knights of the Desolate Empire

22 February 2006
The Olympics have arrived!

The Mordanti Olympics, having been gone for six years, have returned to the Mordanti
Alliance, sponsored by Amicitia Primoris.  Teams have competed against each other for
recognition and notoriety four times in the past.  It is far past time for the fifth
Mordanti Olympics to be held.  The Mordanti Olympics shall be held in the Mordant
arena (DM-1) from May 1st (T544) through Oct 30 (T557).  There will be a
'registration period' lasting until T543, where teams will be allowed to register by
activating in Mordant and declaring their participation in the personals.  Rules will
be posted in the Mordant arena (DM-1) newsletter no later than T543, but shall be
available online before then.  An announcement will be made as to where they will be
posted.  Prizes will be awarded to the winners.

Lord Xiang
Amicitia Primoris
amicitia@gwi.net
http://amicitiaprimoris.gotdns.com

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

SAIONJI devastated SKI MASK in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
MAD DOC WILLIAMS won victory over REDEMPTION in a 2 minute Challenge battle.
AGLIBOL was demolished by R IS FOR REPUGNANT in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
PERFECT TEN bested KOOKABURRA in a popular 2 minute Challenge contest.
SWALLOWTAIL overpowered HELM HAMMERHAND in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge match.
KERMORVAN viciously subdued EXILE in a crowd pleasing 2 minute brutal Challenge fight.
ZLATINA ANGUELOVA slimly won victory over TICKLES in a 2 minute Challenge competition.
POPE PAUL II was viciously subdued by GAZELLE in a 10 minute Challenge melee.
ROWDY YOBBO lost to BRIARTHORN in a action packed 1 minute Challenge fight.
BRANFORD HAWKE was vanquished by BLIND ILLUSION in a 2 minute Challenge fight.
OSCAR was handily defeated by QUEEN AMAZONIA in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
APPLE JACK savagely defeated BUCK in a crowd pleasing 3 minute Challenge competition.
SEX CAMEL demolished HOCKEY DUCK in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge match.
ACE BAILEY overpowered DEMONICHELLION in a 2 minute mismatched Challenge conflict.
CEER was overpowered by MOUNTAIN GOAT in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
KRAMER vanquished GAR & BRILL in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fray.
SLIPPERY NIPPLE devastated YAKKO in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge brawl.
KALIDOR THE BOLD defeated BLACK JACK SHELACK in a exciting 4 minute Challenge bout.
HALLIE O'DENE was overpowered by KAIDEN in a 1 minute one-sided Title match.
MOD COD devastated FIENDISH GLEE in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
NUTCRACKER was vanquished by STEVE MCQUEEN in a 1 minute one-sided match.
UZI was vanquished by NAIHREN in a 1 minute mismatched fray.
ARAC IRONFIST was overpowered by SINCLAIR in a popular 1 minute one-sided match.
BATAVIA savagely defeated BECKY in a action packed 1 minute gory fight.
TEDDY RUXPIN defeated DESPERADO in a 2 minute match.
SEGALLION SUNDANCER vanquished CROOKED HOOF in a 1 minute uneven bout.
BROKEN TOE was easily killed by BASE ON BULLS in a 1 minute uneven bout.
FEALOST was savagely defeated by LONDON QUIREBOY in a 2 minute competition.
CARRIE NATION overpowered KONGOL in a action packed 1 minute uneven fight.
HUMMINGBIRD was overpowered by JOHN LONGSHORE in a 1 minute one-sided match.
AEDON was savagely defeated by JOE KING in a exciting 3 minute brutal fight.
ROT TEN EGGS overpowered LONE WOLF in a 2 minute bloody one-sided fray.
KI vanquished IRON-PLATED IRV in a 2 minute brutal mismatched fight.
KID QUICK demolished PORK ROLL in a action packed 1 minute gory one-sided struggle.
WRETCHEDMISERY was demolished by HEBEE in a 1 minute mismatched match.
RAUNI savagely defeated GLASS JOE in a popular 2 minute gory duel.
SPATHA was vanquished by PISTON HURRICANE in a exciting 1 minute mismatched bout.
REDDI WHIP was viciously subdued by KELDON WARLORD in a popular 2 minute brutal match.
PINE LEAF lost to IMMOVEABLE OBJECT in a crowd pleasing 6 minute brutal duel.
CAT IN THE HAT was viciously subdued by HUNZICKER BOWL in a 2 minute duel.
FAT BACK was viciously subdued by BULL DURHAM in a crowd pleasing 1 minute match.
TORYN was handily defeated by MOOSE in a popular 1 minute one-sided match.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  18         PARRY-RIPOSTE     21 -  10 -  0      68  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                 13         PARRY-STRIKE      10 -   5 -  0      67  |
|WALL OF STEEL                   12         WALL OF STEEL     52 -  28 -  1      65  |
|AIMED BLOW                       9         AIMED BLOW        42 -  40 -  0      51  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  8         PARRY-LUNGE       10 -  10 -  0      50  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   7         LUNGING ATTACK    66 -  67 -  0      50  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      6         STRIKING ATTACK   51 -  52 -  0      50  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    4         TOTAL PARRY       26 -  28 -  0      48  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      3         SLASHING ATTACK   29 -  41 -  0      41  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     2         BASHING ATTACK    20 -  49 -  2      29  |

Turn 422 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-STRIKE       2 -  0     AIMED BLOW         4 -  5         3  AIMED BLOW     
PARRY-RIPOSTE      3 -  1     BASHING ATTACK     3 -  4         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
PARRY-LUNGE        2 -  1     SLASHING ATTACK    3 -  5         2  TOTAL PARRY    
WALL OF STEEL      8 -  4     STRIKING ATTACK    4 -  9         2  STRIKING ATTACK
LUNGING ATTACK     9 -  9                                       1  WALL OF STEEL  
TOTAL PARRY        3 -  3                                       1  SLASHING ATTACK

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
LUNGING ATTACK   KAIDEN 35-3108            106 104  2  205 VIOLENT FEMS (972)
TOTAL PARRY      MAD DOC WILLIAMS 77-2432   33  13  0  226 POSSE (1362)
AIMED BLOW       STEVE MCQUEEN 47-3908      42  40  1  224 ROYAL FLUSH (146)
STRIKING ATTACK  SINCLAIR 1-6269            31   8  3  212 WIND STORM (649)
SLASHING ATTACK  ARAC IRONFIST 67-1944      35  32  0  191 RAZOR GRACE (1327)
WALL OF STEEL    ZLATINA ANGUELOVA 11-4856  36  33  1  186 TUFT TUGGERS (557)

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
PARRY-RIPOSTE    SWALLOWTAIL 1-7387         32  16  2  185 MANNEQUIN'S BEST (1227)
BASHING ATTACK   TICKLES 9-3486             64  88  1  179 MY PETS (554)
PARRY-STRIKE     TEDDY RUXPIN 11-6399       36  21  1  169 LORDS OF CHAOS (1348)
PARRY-LUNGE      SEGALLION SUNDANC 11-4600  37  27  1  166 TUFT TUGGERS (557)

The overall popularity leader is KAIDEN 35-3108.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was GAZELLE 56-3701.  The ten other most popular fighters were APPLE JACK 47-4011, 
JOE KING 47-2223, PINE LEAF 24-4580, EXILE 7-4618, IMMOVEABLE OBJECT 59-2110, BLACK 
JACK SHELACK 47-4850, FEALOST 1-3916, KELDON WARLORD 42-2501, SINCLAIR 1-6269, and 
RAUNI 31-5035.

The least popular fighter this week was TORYN 78-71.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were SPATHA 31-4996, WRETCHEDMISERY 33-7255, BROKEN TOE 56-3683, CROOKED 
HOOF 56-3493, UZI 44-1701, FIENDISH GLEE 46-1553, HALLIE O'DENE 58-6018, YAKKO 
7-3266, HOCKEY DUCK 39-937, and SKI MASK 58-5869.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
MORDANT(1)           3  2 0  NIATOLI ISLAND(33)   0  3 0  DELARQ TOR(58)       0  2 0  
JHELUM(4)            0  1 0  MURSKA(35)           1  0 0  ILLIS(59)            3  0 0  
KALTOS(5)            1  0 0  CLIFFHOME(38)        1  2 0  KURUKAR(64)          1  0 0  
BONSUR(7)            0  4 0  XOCHITHLAN(39)       0  1 0  BARIKALA(67)         0  1 0  
ZUKAL(9)             0  1 0  ZENSU(40)            1  0 0  ERINIKA(73)          2  0 1  
ARUAK CITY(11)       5  1 0  RODEKI(42)           1  0 0  MAZGOURRAH(77)       1  1 0  
RIZTAB(12)           2  1 0  KRILL(44)            0  1 0  LIN TIRIAN(78)       1  1 0  
ALJAFIR(17)          0  1 0  ARDIVENT(46)         0  1 0  MIROI CHANG(79)      0  1 0  
SEAM(20)             0  1 0  NORTH FORK(47)       7  1 0  DWES EG(82)          1  0 0  
SOLVEN(22)           1  0 0  SNOWBOUND(50)        0  1 0  OLD VALAMANTIS(96)   0  2 0  
TI(23)               1  0 0  KHALANI(55)          1  0 0  SHADOW GROVE(97)     0  2 0  
ZORPUNT(24)          0  2 0  ROCANIS(56)          4  4 0  SOUTH RIDGE(99)      1  0 0  
CHIMLEVTAL(31)       2  3 0  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 SINCLAIR 1-6269             31   8  3  212  WIND STORM (649)           MORDANT
 REDEMPTION 4-4868           34  27  1  203  BLADES OF MIST (780)       JHELUM
 BULL DURHAM 5-4324          17   7  0   50  PARTY ANIMALS (591)        KALTOS
 EXILE 7-4618                33  31  1  177  BLADES OF ICE (162)        BONSUR
 TICKLES 9-3486              64  88  1  179  MY PETS (554)              ZUKAL
 ZLATINA ANGUELOVA 11-4856   36  33  1  186  TUFT TUGGERS (557)         ARUAK CITY
 AGLIBOL 12-5848             29  16  0  186  DARKMOON (1197)            RIZTAB
 BECKY 17-5782               24  12  3  153  BLADES OF STEEL (1068)     ALJAFIR
 ROWDY YOBBO 20-3429         24  25  1  129  SPARF! (1069)              SEAM
 BLIND ILLUSION 22-6379      27  19  1  145  MEDIEVAL CHAOS (1342)      SOLVEN
 HUNZICKER BOWL 23-4182      25  13  1  100  SKI TAOS (1070)            TI
 CAT IN THE HAT 24-3103      22   8  1   84  THE SEUSS HEUSS (804)      ZORPUNT
 HELM HAMMERHAND 31-5025     30  15  0  159  LORDS OF VALHALLA (1208)   CHIMLEVTAL
 KOOKABURRA 33-4151          64  96  4  158  GIRL SCOUT COOKIES (812)   NIATOLI ISLAND
 KAIDEN 35-3108             106 104  2  205  VIOLENT FEMS (972)         MURSKA
 NUTCRACKER 38-4380          31  24  1  191  ALL FINESSE (1236)         CLIFFHOME
 HOCKEY DUCK 39-937          27  18  1   88  DUCKS UNLIMITED (1221)     XOCHITHLAN
 PISTON HURRICANE 40-2287    26  17  0   92  AS FAR AS SIAM (1323)      ZENSU
 KELDON WARLORD 42-2501      16  10  1   67  WIND STORM (1365)          RODEKI
 UZI 44-1701                 30  30  1  182  BLOWN AWAY (820)           KRILL
 FIENDISH GLEE 46-1553       32  20  5  190  CLEVER LINGO (1212)        ARDIVENT
 STEVE MCQUEEN 47-3908       42  40  1  224  ROYAL FLUSH (146)          NORTH FORK
 OSCAR 50-3153               32   9  0  120  OPEN SESAME (824)          SNOWBOUND
 MOD COD 55-2638             76  97  3  223  RHYME TYME (449)           KHALANI
 GAZELLE 56-3701             32  25  0  189  REDHORSE (1325)            ROCANIS
 HALLIE O'DENE 58-6018       66  92  0  184  CIRQUE DU MASQUES (1093)   DELARQ TOR
 LONDON QUIREBOY 59-2513     20   4  1  125  CHAPEL ROCK (1352)         ILLIS
 CARRIE NATION 64-4054       65  95  0  151  REFORMERS (1095)           KURUKAR
 ARAC IRONFIST 67-1944       35  32  0  191  RAZOR GRACE (1327)         BARIKALA
 BASE ON BULLS 73-3101       22   6  4  143  THE BULLS (1144)           ERINIKA
 MAD DOC WILLIAMS 77-2432    33  13  0  226  POSSE (1362)               MAZGOURRAH

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 BATAVIA 78-238              27  16  0  176  LETHAL HERITAGE (750)      LIN TIRIAN
 POPE PAUL II 79-1317        23  16  0  170  CHAPEL ROCK (776)          MIROI CHANG
 SEX CAMEL 82-25548          17  21  4  114  SWEET NOTHINGS (1366)      DWES EG
 FAT BACK 96-1610             8   4  4   39  KILLING ME SOFTLY (1367)   OLD VALAMANTIS
 PORK ROLL 97-1634            7   5  5   52  KILLING ME SOFTER (1368)   SHADOW GROVE
 R IS FOR REPUGNANT 99-1155  24  14  4  212  GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME (1306)  SOUTH RIDGE