AD
Date : 04/05/2006 Duedate: 04/18/2006
HOME GUARD
DM-101 TURN-425
RANK TEAMS W L K % RANK TEAMS W L K %
1 TUFT TUGGERS 11/557 346 229 4 60.2 7-RAZOR GRACE 67/1327 68 64 0 51.5
2 POSSE 77/1362 12 8 0 60.0 8 LORDS OF VAL 31/1208 34 36 0 48.6
3 KILLING ME S 97/1368 366 282 1 56.5 9 VORTEX 25/478 86 105 0 45.0
GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME 99/1306 WIND STORM 1/649
KILLING ME SOFTLY 96/1367 WIND STORM 42/1365
4 BLADES OF ICE 7/162 377 308 8 55.0 LETHAL HERITAGE 65/550
BLADES OF STEEL 17/1068 ROGUES' GALLERY 67/838
BLADES OF MIST 4/780 LETHAL HERITAGE 78/750
5 ALL FINESSE 38/1236 163 149 1 52.2 10 DARKMOON 12/1197 84 107 0 44.0
BATHTUB ARMADA 7/1196 SOL INVICTUS 31/1355
LAB EXPERIMENTS 1/1207 CHAOTICDISORDER 33/1353
SWEET NOTHINGS 82/1366 11-AVENGERS 31/1321 75 101 0 42.6
CLEVER LINGO 46/1212 MEDIEVAL CHAOS 22/1342
MANNEQUIN'S BEST 1/1227 PUNCH-OUT! 56/1359
SECOND BANANAS 47/1363 LORDS OF CHAOS 11/1348
PERFECTION QUEST II 73/1303 AS FAR AS SIAM 40/1323
THE BLOODGUARD 2 96/1369 UNDER JOLLY ROGER 7/1351
6 SPARF! 20/1069 796 736 11 52.0 12 VIOLENT FEMS 35/972 425 576 9 42.5
THE BULLS 73/1144 JUST BECAUSE 38/1228
HANGOVERS 59/1153 13 MY PETS 9/554 530 803 15 39.8
NOT QUITE 59/1237 THE SEUSS HEUSS 24/804
OTTO'S MECHANICS 28/1073 RHYME TYME 55/449
OPEN SESAME 50/824 GIRL SCOUT COOKIES 33/812
CHAPEL ROCK 79/776 14 REDHORSE 56/1325 224 350 1 39.0
PARTY ANIMALS 5/591 MOSSRUNNERS 1/928
DUCKS UNLIMITED 39/1221 15 REFORMERS 64/1095 510 840 6 37.8
ROYAL FLUSH 47/146 KRILL CAVALRY 24/1364
SKI TAOS 23/1070 KRILL CAVALRY 11/1358
BLOWN AWAY 44/820 HOMICIDAL MANIACS 1/1082
CHAPEL ROCK 59/1352 CIRQUE DU MASQUES 58/1093
'##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id '-' Team did not fight this turn
THE GUARDIAN'S FORUM
Reflections by the Captain of the Guard
I'd like to make detailed comments on how Kaiden was a great champion and defended
his throne with honour; however, the boss hasn't seen the actual fights yet, so it
would be extremely presumptuous of me to detail the nature of his fight. However, I
don't like the prospects of this potential defence. Two AB's in the Grand Challenger
Champs, and a striker and a Total Parry that I am ineligible to fight against. I
don't like those odds, especially since I think I'm challenging Kaiden again, so that
shouldn't go through. Oh well, not bad for a warrior whose max number of skills
learned in a fight is greater than his wit.
Steve McQueen
Royal Flush
Captain of the Guard
REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER
It's a good thing I'm dead! Otherwise, trying to fix lunch in a kitchen in the
throes (AND throws) of being painted would just about kill me. (The old "that isn't
mustard on your sandwich, it's yellow paint" business.) Not to mention the smell.
Despite big problems with Hal and the other golems, we had a decent turnout
today. And this on a sunny, warm, spring day that could be better spent doing any
number of other things than fighting with guys you don't even hate. Forty fights, of
which an amazing twenty-two were challenge matches. More than half! No tv
challenges, but I can live with that, or without it, I guess, at least for now. Only
two standbys fought today, which is good. I want you to put them out of work! Let
them be mimes on the street corners where horses will step on them. At least, horses
will step on them this week, but there's a rumor that next week, or maybe the week
after, Sheila is going to outlaw horses on the Isle, except for the development of
fast food joints, of course.
Wind Storm was most avoided, by Royal Flush, the champion avoiders. There is a
team that makes the fullest use of its management tools.
Mad Doc Williams got the most challenges today, "more," as the notes claim,
"than the Captain of the Guard." Since the Captain of the Guard fought a random
match, this may not be terribly significant.
Our longest fight today was a ridiculous five minutes. Five minutes, in the
arena that held a Scumfest? It's pathetic, even though there were TWO fights of this
length.
CAT IN THE HAT (24-3103) (23-9-1,77) of THE SEUSS HEUSS fought PORK ROLL (97-
1634) (7-7-5,40) of KILLING ME SOFTER. CAT IN THE HAT overpowered PORK ROLL in a
crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided brawl. Let that be a lesson to you all: With or
without hats, cats like pork rolls. I like pork rolls myself, but then, I'm dead, so
I don't need to worry about stuff like that.
PINE LEAF (24-4580) (25-27-0,72) of KRILL CAVALRY fought CEER (96-1537) (9-5-
4,30) of THE BLOODGUARD 2. PINE LEAF subdued CEER in a crowd pleasing 2 minute
uneven conflict. It's hard for the Bloodgamers on the Isle, at least until they get
enough experience to begin to match their opponents. Hang in there, Ceer.
SPATHA (31-4996) (30-19-2,79) of SOL INVICTUS fought LINI DAWNWIND (11-5865)
(20-14-1,74) of KRILL CAVALRY. SPATHA won victory over LINI DAWNWIND in a crowd
pleasing 1 minute duel. Ha! I bet Lini wishes she'd stayed inactive. But what can
a gladiator do when a manager says, "Batter up!" You just have to get out the
tempura and start dipping.
GAR & BRILL (38-4252) (37-65-0,58) of JUST BECAUSE fought FAT BACK (96-1610) (8-
6-4,32) of KILLING ME SOFTLY. GAR & BRILL handily defeated FAT BACK in a popular 1
minute brutal one-sided duel. So now we have a well-greased gar and brill, what a
disgusting thought! Greasy heer and brilled bamburgers dripping with tallow. Ugh.
Well, sort of ugh. Not entirely. Those brilled burgers....
HEBEE (38-4359) (15-11-0,57) of ALL FINESSE fought DEMONICHELLION (33-7038) (19-
16-2,60) of CHAOTICDISORDER. HEBEE was overpowered by DEMONICHELLION in a 1 minute
one-sided competition. Does this mean that the Hellion had the jebees ready at hand
to whap his, her, or its opponent with? How foresightful.
HUNZICKER BOWL (23-4182) (25-15-1,93) of SKI TAOS fought REDDI WHIP (97-1636)
(9-5-6,62) of KILLING ME SOFTER. HUNZICKER BOWL was subdued by REDDI WHIP in a
popular 4 minute one-sided duel. After which, strawberries raisins were stirred in
to make Ma Hunzicker's famous Dessert Bowl. A tedious woman in many ways, but how
that woman could cook!
RAUNI (31-5035) (25-15-0,135) of SOL INVICTUS fought MOOSE (56-3459) (26-34-
0,100) of REDHORSE. RAUNI demolished MOOSE in a 1 minute mismatched match. Sliced
and diced moose, ready for... moose stew?
HUMMINGBIRD (56-3475) (34-38-0,122) of REDHORSE fought NINJA FERD (101-30) (0-0-
0,130) of the College of Mimes. HUMMINGBIRD was unbelievably bested by NINJA FERD in
an action packed 2 minute bout. It isn't eveybody who can snatch a hummingbird on
the wing right out of the air. This is one of the regular Ninja Mime training
exercises, if I understand the gestures correctly. Words would help.
CROOKED HOOF (56-3493) (38-29-0,142) of REDHORSE fought AEDON (7-4295) (43-34-
1,131) of BLADES OF ICE. CROOKED HOOF savagely defeated AEDON in an exciting 1
minute brutal struggle. They (the orderlies and maintenance crew) tell me they're
going to band together and send the Redhorse to an ortho-hoofist to get that hoof
straightened. This should be interesting.
SLIPPERY NIPPLE (59-2323) (22-6-1,109) of HANGOVERS fought KONGOL (7-4524) (38-
35-2,122) of BLADES OF ICE. SLIPPERY NIPPLE demolished KONGOL in a 1 minute uneven
contest. I said lots of clever things about this fight, and then the cnesors came
along and marked them out. Some people should never be let loose with a blue pencil.
BECKY (17-5782) (24-12-3,153) of BLADES OF STEEL fought KOOKABURRA (33-4151)
(65-97-4,145) of GIRL SCOUT COOKIES. BECKY overpowered KOOKABURRA in a 1 minute
uneven bout. I have never seen such a total MESS of cookie crumbs. There must be
something useful we can do with them. Crumb crust for a chocolate pie, perhaps?
JOHN LONGSHORE (11-4197) (33-43-0,158) of TUFT TUGGERS fought CARRIE NATION (64-
4054) (65-97-0,145) of REFORMERS. JOHN LONGSHORE demolished CARRIE NATION in an
exciting 1 minute one-sided fight. Not bad for an old guy, especially since Carrie
is maintaining that he was two-thirds hung over at the time. Given her record, and
her attribution of the victories of others to the effects of liquor, I wonder she
doesn't try it herself, eh?
TICKLES (9-3486) (65-89-1,178) of MY PETS fought APPLE JACK (47-4011) (35-27-
4,165) of ROYAL FLUSH. TICKLES was vanquished by APPLE JACK in an exciting 1 minute
one-sided fray. And speaking of strong drink... catch the tipsy Tickles.
EXILE (7-4618) (33-31-1,177) of BLADES OF ICE fought ROT TEN EGGS (47-3099) (41-
37-0,163) of ROYAL FLUSH. EXILE vanquished ROT TEN EGGS in a popular 1 minute one-
sided bout. Old Eggs driven into exile? Vanquished and banished? Sounds good to
me. Go for it!
POPE PAUL II (79-1317) (24-17-0,184) of CHAPEL ROCK fought MOD COD (55-2638)
(76-99-3,198) of RHYME TYME. POPE PAUL II was savagely defeated by MOD COD in an
exciting 1 minute bloody fray. Well, darn. I thought he LIKED fish.
AGLIBOL (12-5848) (29-18-0,185) of DARKMOON fought REDEMPTION (4-4868) (34-27-
1,203) of BLADES OF MIST. AGLIBOL was executed by REDEMPTION in a 1 minute uneven
duel. A death. This seems... extreme. But who knows what sins weighed down the
Darkmoonster? Sometimes redemption is expensive.
ZLATINA ANGUELOVA (11-4856) (37-34-1,192) of TUFT TUGGERS fought NAIHREN (101-
27) (0-0-0,240) of the College of Mimes. ZLATINA ANGUELOVA was overpowered by
NAIHREN in a 1 minute one-sided bout. BOTH mimes won? Who allowed this? It's an
outrage and a dangerous precedent! Zlatina, I charge you with the duty of ambushing
Naihren in an alley and making sure he repents his victory!
Not even half way done, and here are the challenge matches. It's great!
ACE BAILEY (47-4948) (17-23-0,80) of ROYAL FLUSH challenged MOUNTAIN GOAT (56-
3700) (35-48-3,59) of REDHORSE. Down 21. ACE BAILEY luckily beat MOUNTAIN GOAT in a
popular 1 minute Challenge match. And you needed luck to win, Ace? Better get to
work on your moves!
WRETCHEDMISERY (33-7255) (20-13-0,49) of CHAOTICDISORDER challenged ACE METRIC
(47-3554) (14-8-0,57) of ROYAL FLUSH. Up 8. WRETCHEDMISERY was vanquished by ACE
METRIC in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fray. I don't blame the Wretch for losing
this. Metric vanquishes me, too.
IMMOVEABLE OBJECT (59-2110) (23-7-1,80) of NOT QUITE challenged KELDON WARLORD
(42-2501) (18-10-1,81) of WIND STORM. Up 1. IMMOVEABLE OBJECT unbelievably bested
KELDON WARLORD in a 2 minute Challenge match. Believe it, Sports Fans! And in only
two minutes, which is amazing.
BULL DURHAM (5-4324) (18-8-0,59) of PARTY ANIMALS challenged TORYN (78-71) (16-
25-2,39) of LETHAL HERITAGE. Down 20. BULL DURHAM devastated TORYN in a 1 minute
one-sided Challenge bout. The little lady was NOT prepared to party all night, it
seems. Ah, well, some aren't. They insist on... SLEEPING. Shocking, isn't it?
KRAMER (47-5191) (18-7-0,91) of SECOND BANANAS challenged BUCK (1-2291) (47-109-
0,108) of MOSSRUNNERS. Up 17. KRAMER overpowered BUCK in a crowd pleasing 2 minute
bloody one-sided Challenge match. Thus does Kramer prove himself to be worthy of a
first banana position.
HOCKEY DUCK (39-937) (29-18-1,98) of DUCKS UNLIMITED challenged SKI MASK (58-
5869) (51-90-1,90) of CIRQUE DU MASQUES. Down 8. HOCKEY DUCK narrowly defeated SKI
MASK in a 2 minute Challenge bout. The Battle of the Ducks continues. Tune in next
time for the latest heated accusastions!
SAIONJI (73-4447) (21-7-1,94) of PERFECTION QUEST II challenged BLACK JACK
SHELACK (47-4850) (22-17-1,122) of ROYAL FLUSH. Up 28. SAIONJI was bested by BLACK
JACK SHELACK in an exciting 3 minute Challenge fight. Definitely a shellacking
happened here.
SEX CAMEL (82-25548) (18-22-4,123) of SWEET NOTHINGS challenged BROKEN TOE (56-
3683) (34-53-1,126) of REDHORSE. Up 3. SEX CAMEL overpowered BROKEN TOE in a 1
minute mismatched Challenge brawl. Ah... I'm not touching this one.
BRANFORD HAWKE (11-5077) (30-29-0,113) of TUFT TUGGERS challenged BRICK WALL (1-
7478) (32-21-0,122) of HOMICIDAL MANIACS. Up 9. BRANFORD HAWKE vanquished BRICK
WALL in a 3 minute mismatched Challenge bout. Must be a problem with the foundation
of that wall.
CATFISH HUNTER (5-3315) (16-17-1,102) of PARTY ANIMALS challenged KALIDOR THE
BOLD (11-6441) (22-6-0,121) of TUFT TUGGERS. Up 19. CATFISH HUNTER overpowered
KALIDOR THE BOLD in a 4 minute Challenge conflict. I met an overpowering catfish
once. It was... very ripe.
ROWDY YOBBO (20-3429) (24-27-1,122) of SPARF! challenged DESPERADO (77-2459)
(30-15-2,145) of POSSE. Up 23. ROWDY YOBBO was demolished by DESPERADO in a 1
minute mismatched Challenge match. So, I guess it's true that a mere yobbo is no
match for a genuine desperado. Something to remember.
LONDON QUIREBOY (59-2513) (21-5-1,119) of CHAPEL ROCK challenged HELM HAMMERHAND
(31-5025) (31-16-0,141) of LORDS OF VALHALLA. Up 22. LONDON QUIREBOY overcame HELM
HAMMERHAND in a 2 minute Challenge contest. Myself, I think it was the paper cuts
that did it. Awful things, paper cuts. Insidious. You could bleed to DEATH from
paper cuts! Truly.
OSCAR (50-3153) (33-10-0,128) of OPEN SESAME challenged FEALOST (1-3916) (51-76-
1,123) of MOSSRUNNERS. Down 5. OSCAR luckily beat FEALOST in an exciting 3 minute
bloody Challenge match. LUCK? You're telling me Oscar needed LUCK to beat someone
whose very NAME has "lost" in it? How disappointing.
BASE ON BULLS (73-3101) (23-7-4,137) of THE BULLS challenged QUEEN AMAZONIA (12-
4796) (41-54-1,159) of DARKMOON. Up 22. BASE ON BULLS overpowered QUEEN AMAZONIA in
a 1 minute one-sided Challenge melee. I'm not sure about this "base" business.
Bulls ARE base, of course, they can't help it (if they can help it, they're oxen).
But how is it "on" a bull?
PERFECT TEN (47-4218) (32-26-1,170) of ROYAL FLUSH challenged BATAVIA (78-238)
(27-18-0,142) of LETHAL HERITAGE. Down 28. PERFECT TEN viciously subdued BATAVIA in
a popular 5 minute gory Challenge duel. Perfectly, no doubt. This was one of the
two longest fights, so people could have time to SEE the perfection. And they did,
I'm sure.
UZI (44-1701) (30-31-1,177) of BLOWN AWAY challenged GAZELLE (56-3701) (32-27-
0,179) of REDHORSE. Up 2. UZI won victory over GAZELLE in a 1 minute Challenge
fight. Most of the Gazelle has been reassembled, but we're still missing part of an
ear. If anyone should happen to know where it went, please share that information.
The Infirmarian likes to do a job properly.
JOE KING (47-2223) (33-56-1,167) of ROYAL FLUSH challenged BRIARTHORN (12-5671)
(29-26-1,149) of DARKMOON. Down 18. JOE KING viciously subdued BRIARTHORN in an
action packed 1 minute Challenge melee. The viciosity does not surprise me. From my
own experience with briars and thorns, I know that only viciosity will subdue them,
and then not for long.
SWALLOWTAIL (1-7387) (33-17-2,195) of MANNEQUIN'S BEST challenged R IS FOR
REPUGNANT (99-1155) (25-15-4,207) of GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME. Up 12. SWALLOWTAIL was
overpowered by R IS FOR REPUGNANT in a 4 minute Challenge brawl. For some reason not
clear to me, there is a... note of sort on this page about Swallowtail needing "the
shelter of a sturdy wall." It isn't any handwriting I recognize, so SOMEONE has been
messing with my notes. Stop it!
FIENDISH GLEE (46-1553) (32-22-5,184) of CLEVER LINGO challenged KAIDEN (35-
3108) (107-105-2,196) of VIOLENT FEMS. Up 12. FIENDISH GLEE devastated KAIDEN in a
crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel. How appropriate! Kaiden is rather
fiendish herself.
SEGALLION SUNDANCER (11-4600) (39-27-1,198) of TUFT TUGGERS challenged HALLIE
O'DENE (58-6018) (68-92-0,212) of CIRQUE DU MASQUES. Up 14. SEGALLION SUNDANCER
devastated HALLIE O'DENE in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight. Poor woman, she
has two left feet (fact, take a look at her shoes sometime!) and cannot dance for
anything.
KERMORVAN (1-3116) (28-16-0,197) of LAB EXPERIMENTS challenged MAD DOC WILLIAMS
(77-2432) (34-14-0,200) of POSSE. Up 3. KERMORVAN handily defeated MAD DOC WILLIAMS
in a 5 minute one-sided Challenge match. This was Most Challenged Mad Doc and the
other Longest Fight. Two Points of Remark for a single match, what economy!
FANNY BELT (28-1804) (43-24-1,234) of OTTO'S MECHANICS challenged SINCLAIR (1-
6269) (32-9-3,195) of WIND STORM. Down 39. FANNY BELT was devastated by SINCLAIR in
a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight. Well, it looks like the sweet Fanny was blown
away by that storm.
And for the title: STEVE MCQUEEN (47-3908) (44-40-1,240) of ROYAL FLUSH fought
NUTCRACKER (38-4380) (33-24-1,220) of ALL FINESSE. STEVE MCQUEEN was overpowered by
NUTCRACKER in a 2 minute one-sided Title duel. Alas, our column-writing Captain must
step down and give another gladiator a chance. It's musical chairs up here at the
top. Congratulations, Nutcracker!
Olaf
CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
NUTCRACKER 38-4380 34 24 1 235 ALL FINESSE (1236) CLIFFHOME
GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
REDEMPTION 4-4868 35 27 2 249 BLADES OF MIST (780) JHELUM
R IS FOR REPUGNANT 99-1155 26 15 4 227 GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME (1306) SOUTH RIDGE
KERMORVAN 1-3116 29 16 0 222 LAB EXPERIMENTS (1207) MORDANT
SINCLAIR 1-6269 33 9 3 219 WIND STORM (649) MORDANT
-KHEMI 25-2281 41 36 2 214 VORTEX (478) LYRATILAN
GRAND CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
SEGALLION SUNDANCE 11-4600 40 27 1 210 TUFT TUGGERS (557) ARUAK CITY
MOD COD 55-2638 77 99 3 204 RHYME TYME (449) KHALANI
-ARAC IRONFIST 67-1944 36 32 0 203 RAZOR GRACE (1327) BARIKALA
FIENDISH GLEE 46-1553 33 22 5 202 CLEVER LINGO (1212) ARDIVENT
STEVE MCQUEEN 47-3908 44 41 1 193 ROYAL FLUSH (146) NORTH FORK
FANNY BELT 28-1804 43 25 1 193 OTTO'S MECHANICS (1073) MORYA
HALLIE O'DENE 58-6018 68 93 0 192 CIRQUE DU MASQUES (1093) DELARQ TOR
MAD DOC WILLIAMS 77-2432 34 15 0 192 POSSE (1362) MAZGOURRAH
SWALLOWTAIL 1-7387 33 18 2 192 MANNEQUIN'S BEST (1227) MORDANT
EXILE 7-4618 34 31 1 188 BLADES OF ICE (162) BONSUR
UZI 44-1701 31 31 1 186 BLOWN AWAY (820) KRILL
ZLATINA ANGUELOVA 11-4856 37 35 1 184 TUFT TUGGERS (557) ARUAK CITY
KAIDEN 35-3108 107 106 2 183 VIOLENT FEMS (972) MURSKA
APPLE JACK 47-4011 36 27 4 183 ROYAL FLUSH (146) NORTH FORK
POPE PAUL II 79-1317 24 18 0 183 CHAPEL ROCK (776) MIROI CHANG
AGLIBOL 12-5848 29 19 0 181 DARKMOON (1197) RIZTAB
GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
-TEDDY RUXPIN 11-6399 37 21 1 180 LORDS OF CHAOS (1348) ARUAK CITY
-BONGO 25-2600 26 20 0 179 VORTEX (478) LYRATILAN
PERFECT TEN 47-4218 33 26 1 176 ROYAL FLUSH (146) NORTH FORK
GAZELLE 56-3701 32 28 0 173 REDHORSE (1325) ROCANIS
JOE KING 47-2223 34 56 1 170 ROYAL FLUSH (146) NORTH FORK
-KI 31-165 37 45 1 168 AVENGERS (1321) CHIMLEVTAL
JOHN LONGSHORE 11-4197 34 43 0 166 TUFT TUGGERS (557) ARUAK CITY
TICKLES 9-3486 65 90 1 163 MY PETS (554) ZUKAL
BECKY 17-5782 25 12 3 161 BLADES OF STEEL (1068) ALJAFIR
ROT TEN EGGS 47-3099 41 38 0 158 ROYAL FLUSH (146) NORTH FORK
GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
BASE ON BULLS 73-3101 24 7 4 158 THE BULLS (1144) ERINIKA
GRAND ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
CROOKED HOOF 56-3493 39 29 0 150 REDHORSE (1325) ROCANIS
-CARLY 65-2000 33 37 0 150 LETHAL HERITAGE (550) DAL SHANG
DESPERADO 77-2459 31 15 2 149 POSSE (1362) MAZGOURRAH
BRIARTHORN 12-5671 29 27 1 149 DARKMOON (1197) RIZTAB
BATAVIA 78-238 27 19 0 149 LETHAL HERITAGE (750) LIN TIRIAN
-BLIND ILLUSION 22-6379 28 19 1 148 MEDIEVAL CHAOS (1342) SOLVEN
LONDON QUIREBOY 59-2513 22 5 1 144 CHAPEL ROCK (1352) ILLIS
QUEEN AMAZONIA 12-4796 41 55 1 142 DARKMOON (1197) RIZTAB
KOOKABURRA 33-4151 65 98 4 140 GIRL SCOUT COOKIES (812) NIATOLI ISLAND
-SHERIDAN 1-6055 28 24 2 140 WIND STORM (649) MORDANT
-TENACIOUS 7-5337 37 16 1 139 BATHTUB ARMADA (1196) BONSUR
CARRIE NATION 64-4054 65 98 0 138 REFORMERS (1095) KURUKAR
BRANFORD HAWKE 11-5077 31 29 0 137 TUFT TUGGERS (557) ARUAK CITY
RAUNI 31-5035 26 15 0 137 SOL INVICTUS (1355) CHIMLEVTAL
SEX CAMEL 82-25548 19 22 4 136 SWEET NOTHINGS (1366) DWES EG
OSCAR 50-3153 34 10 0 133 OPEN SESAME (824) SNOWBOUND
CATFISH HUNTER 5-3315 17 17 1 133 PARTY ANIMALS (591) KALTOS
AEDON 7-4295 43 35 1 132 BLADES OF ICE (162) BONSUR
-ZATHRUS 1-5858 31 35 1 131 WIND STORM (649) MORDANT
HELM HAMMERHAND 31-5025 31 17 0 130 LORDS OF VALHALLA (1208) CHIMLEVTAL
BLACK JACK SHELACK 47-4850 23 17 1 130 ROYAL FLUSH (146) NORTH FORK
SLIPPERY NIPPLE 59-2323 23 6 1 129 HANGOVERS (1153) ILLIS
FEALOST 1-3916 51 77 1 128 MOSSRUNNERS (928) MORDANT
HUMMINGBIRD 56-3475 34 39 0 122 REDHORSE (1325) ROCANIS
ROWDY YOBBO 20-3429 24 28 1 122 SPARF! (1069) SEAM
BROKEN TOE 56-3683 34 54 1 114 REDHORSE (1325) ROCANIS
KRAMER 47-5191 19 7 0 113 SECOND BANANAS (1363) NORTH FORK
-LONE WOLF 31-162 38 46 1 111 AVENGERS (1321) CHIMLEVTAL
KONGOL 7-4524 38 36 2 109 BLADES OF ICE (162) BONSUR
-KHEMRA 78-72 22 14 0 109 LETHAL HERITAGE (750) LIN TIRIAN
BRICK WALL 1-7478 32 22 0 108 HOMICIDAL MANIACS (1082) MORDANT
HOCKEY DUCK 39-937 30 18 1 102 DUCKS UNLIMITED (1221) XOCHITHLAN
KALIDOR THE BOLD 11-6441 22 7 0 102 TUFT TUGGERS (557) ARUAK CITY
GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
MOOSE 56-3459 26 35 0 100 REDHORSE (1325) ROCANIS
-KID QUICK 56-3846 21 8 2 100 PUNCH-OUT! (1359) ROCANIS
SAIONJI 73-4447 21 8 1 100 PERFECTION QUEST II (1303) ERINIKA
-BARAK 25-2858 25 24 3 99 VORTEX (478) LYRATILAN
BUCK 1-2291 47 110 0 92 MOSSRUNNERS (928) MORDANT
IMMOVEABLE OBJECT 59-2110 24 7 1 91 NOT QUITE (1237) ILLIS
REDDI WHIP 97-1636 10 5 6 91 KILLING ME SOFTER (1368) SHADOW GROVE
GRAND INITIATES W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
SKI MASK 58-5869 51 91 1 90 CIRQUE DU MASQUES (1093) DELARQ TOR
SPATHA 31-4996 31 19 2 87 SOL INVICTUS (1355) CHIMLEVTAL
-PISTON HURRICANE 40-2287 26 18 0 86 AS FAR AS SIAM (1323) ZENSU
-FLAIR 1-6169 22 22 0 82 WIND STORM (649) MORDANT
KELDON WARLORD 42-2501 18 11 1 82 WIND STORM (1365) RODEKI
ACE BAILEY 47-4948 18 23 0 82 ROYAL FLUSH (146) NORTH FORK
CAT IN THE HAT 24-3103 24 9 1 79 THE SEUSS HEUSS (804) ZORPUNT
-WALKER 1-6127 28 18 1 77 WIND STORM (649) MORDANT
HUNZICKER BOWL 23-4182 25 16 1 76 SKI TAOS (1070) TI
PINE LEAF 24-4580 26 27 0 74 KRILL CAVALRY (1364) ZORPUNT
LINI DAWNWIND 11-5865 20 15 1 73 KRILL CAVALRY (1358) ARUAK CITY
-GLASS JOE 56-3847 18 11 0 73 PUNCH-OUT! (1359) ROCANIS
DEMONICHELLION 33-7038 20 16 2 71 CHAOTICDISORDER (1353) NIATOLI ISLAND
ACE METRIC 47-3554 15 8 0 69 ROYAL FLUSH (146) NORTH FORK
-FARIN 78-503 21 33 2 67 LETHAL HERITAGE (750) LIN TIRIAN
-YAKKO 7-3266 20 26 0 67 UNDER JOLLY ROGER (1351) BONSUR
GRAND INITIATES W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
-KROETLAN 78-640 23 20 0 66 LETHAL HERITAGE (750) LIN TIRIAN
-BARTOFELES 31-5173 17 13 2 66 THE STORMGUARDS (132) CHIMLEVTAL
BULL DURHAM 5-4324 19 8 0 65 PARTY ANIMALS (591) KALTOS
-SHADOW 67-725 17 10 0 64 ROGUES' GALLERY (838) BARIKALA
GAR & BRILL 38-4252 38 65 0 63 JUST BECAUSE (1228) CLIFFHOME
-NATASHA 78-1937 22 12 2 62 LETHAL HERITAGE (750) LIN TIRIAN
MOUNTAIN GOAT 56-3700 35 49 3 60 REDHORSE (1325) ROCANIS
HEBEE 38-4359 15 12 0 49 ALL FINESSE (1236) CLIFFHOME
WRETCHEDMISERY 33-7255 20 14 0 43 CHAOTICDISORDER (1353) NIATOLI ISLAND
PORK ROLL 97-1634 7 8 5 43 KILLING ME SOFTER (1368) SHADOW GROVE
CEER 96-1537 9 6 4 39 THE BLOODGUARD 2 (1369) OLD VALAMANTIS
TORYN 78-71 16 26 2 37 LETHAL HERITAGE (750) LIN TIRIAN
-KENNY 78-1940 14 12 0 32 LETHAL HERITAGE (750) LIN TIRIAN
FAT BACK 96-1610 8 7 4 29 KILLING ME SOFTLY (1367) OLD VALAMANTIS
'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.
THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN
AGLIBOL 12-5848 29 19 0 DARKMOON 1197 REDEMPTION 4-4868 425
PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE
Phetmolge -- We look forward to whatever you're putting together (to read?). -- Tuft
Tuggers
Catfish Hunter -- With challenges like that, I won't have to worry about your teams
avoiding me, let alone making my own challenges. Of course Zlatina will be
disappointed to hear that. -- Kalidor
Nutcracker -- Payback from the old days? You have a long memory. I'll get you,
don't worry! -- Zlatina
Fiendish Glee -- I took the glee out of you, maybe I can banish the fiendish too? --
Segallion
Batavia -- That was exciting...you have to remember, I'm an old guy. -- Dr. John
Longshore
Fast Fingers Fred -- You stand-ins need help. -- Branford
Rot Ten Eggs -- Your stench is truly amazing, and probably due to being drunk. Such
things usually are, when traced back far enough. -- Carrie Nation
Tenacious -- The Brick Wall has indicated to me that you are "plumb, and suited for
use as a retaining wall," which apparently is high praise. At least, I think the
thoughts or impressions I received from the Brick Wall were approving. Who can be
sure? -- Hallie O'Dene
P.S. There seems to be some confusion in its "mind" about the flowers on the sands.
Something about flowers being "of an unstable nature but serving the Great Architect
in their way" and their way not being lying around on the sand expiring. What YOU
have to do with that, I can't imagine.
Hockey Duck -- Insufferable Domestic Duck! Panderer to mammals! How dare you do
this to ME, Founder and President of Ducks with Swords? It is a piece of
impertinence worth of a...muskrat! -- Ski Mask
P.S. You hate me and are out to get me because I'm SUPERIOR, I can tell.
Mod Cod -- I know what to do with old fish, and it involves a fast trip to the trash
bin. -- Hallie O'Dene
P.S. Not even a cat would eat a fish of your vintage.
Kramer -- In order to be a "second banana" (one is ENOUGH), you must LOSE the fight.
Pay attention next time. -- Pine Leaf
P.S. Banana splits?
Olaf -- We do not have marshy pickles but only the finest crispy pickles. -- Ski Mask
Oscar -- Well that's just what you get. Another win. You obviously do that a lot.
How about showing some consideration for the win-deprived? -- Fealost
Apple Jack -- When I saw your name against mine in the match list, I thought you'd be
someone from Bad Apples in Rocanis. Thought I might win...oh well.... -- Crooked
Hoof
Hunzicker Bowl -- What a good learner you are! Even when dangerously stunned by a
blow to the head! Well done. -- Broken Toe
Sometimes negative reinforcement works. -- Ed.
Of course, sometimes it reinforces the wrong things, too. -- Olaf
R is for Repugnant -- I didn't think you were that ugly. And you're a pretty good
warrior. I think you should tell your manager you've earned a gender. -- Gazelle
Blind Illusion -- Because of our fight, Phetmolge gave me a strategy change. Do you
know how rare that is? Thanks! -- Buck
Lone Wolf -- With such a wild and free name as you have, I wouldn't have expected you
to be a golem. At least you're a golem with gender. I like that in a man, whatever
he's made of. -- Hummingbird
Cat in the Hat -- Tell your manager to give you a different weapon and to start
letting you train your mind. -- Moose
Keldon Warlord -- (coughing) Lung hit! I hate those! -- Mountain Goat
Tankesh -- Did I say the Merry-go-round beer brawl would be this turn? I meant next
turn. -- Phetmolge (with a sheepish grin)
P.S. Some character information would be nice.
Olaf -- Pope Paul II vivaciously subdued Tickles? Did he wave to the crowd while
doing it? -- Phetmolge
Yes.
24 March 2006
A few notes about e-mailed personals:
You may submit personal ads, columns, spotlights, etc. electronically, either via e-
mail to ads at reality dot com (which doesn't need any more spam, thank you) or on
the web at http://www.reality.com/duel2/modules.php?name=Ads. When you submit
something, you should get back a receipt from HAL at RSI. If you do NOT get a
receipt, your ads may have gone astray (not all e-mail makes it to its destination
any more than all snail mail does). If you DO get a receipt, it should, in the body
of the message, tell you what arena your stuff was filed in. Check your receipt to
make sure your submission made it to the intended destination. Also check to see
that everything you sent made it to the same place. Sometimes HAL, who is rather
simple-minded in some ways, will send half your stuff to another arena if the name
or number of that arena shows up at the beginning of a line. So if the word Ti
appears at the beginning of a line halfway through your ads, all the ads after that
may end up in Ti, which is closed and doesn't need ads. As a side note, sometimes
things move slowly, so don't wait until the last minute to send your ads and all.
If they get held up along the way, they may not show up until next turn. Happy
writing! -- Ed.
28 March 2006
We of the Desolate Empire Alliance want to welcome two managers to our fold. Kon of
the Empire Rising, and Osiris! May they be blessed with the blood of their enemies,
and give no quarter in War! -- Dark Knights of the Desolate Empire
LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS
FANNY BELT was devastated by SINCLAIR in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
KERMORVAN handily defeated MAD DOC WILLIAMS in a 5 minute one-sided Challenge match.
SEGALLION SUNDANCER devastated HALLIE O'DENE in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
FIENDISH GLEE devastated KAIDEN in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
SWALLOWTAIL was overpowered by R IS FOR REPUGNANT in a 4 minute Challenge brawl.
JOE KING viciously subdued BRIARTHORN in a action packed 1 minute Challenge melee.
UZI won victory over GAZELLE in a 1 minute Challenge fight.
PERFECT TEN viciously subdued BATAVIA in a popular 5 minute gory Challenge duel.
BASE ON BULLS overpowered QUEEN AMAZONIA in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge melee.
OSCAR luckily beat FEALOST in a exciting 3 minute bloody Challenge match.
LONDON QUIREBOY overcame HELM HAMMERHAND in a 2 minute Challenge contest.
ROWDY YOBBO was demolished by DESPERADO in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge match.
CATFISH HUNTER overpowered KALIDOR THE BOLD in a 4 minute Challenge conflict.
BRANFORD HAWKE vanquished BRICK WALL in a 3 minute mismatched Challenge bout.
SEX CAMEL overpowered BROKEN TOE in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge brawl.
SAIONJI was bested by BLACK JACK SHELACK in a exciting 3 minute Challenge fight.
HOCKEY DUCK narrowly defeated SKI MASK in a 2 minute Challenge bout.
KRAMER overpowered BUCK in a crowd pleasing 2 minute bloody one-sided Challenge match.
BULL DURHAM devastated TORYN in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
IMMOVEABLE OBJECT unbelievably bested KELDON WARLORD in a 2 minute Challenge match.
WRETCHEDMISERY was vanquished by ACE METRIC in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fray.
ACE BAILEY luckily beat MOUNTAIN GOAT in a popular 1 minute Challenge match.
STEVE MCQUEEN was overpowered by NUTCRACKER in a 2 minute one-sided Title duel.
ZLATINA ANGUELOVA was overpowered by NAIHREN in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
AGLIBOL was executed by REDEMPTION in a 1 minute uneven duel.
POPE PAUL II was savagely defeated by MOD COD in a exciting 1 minute bloody fray.
EXILE vanquished ROT TEN EGGS in a popular 1 minute one-sided bout.
TICKLES was vanquished by APPLE JACK in a exciting 1 minute one-sided fray.
JOHN LONGSHORE demolished CARRIE NATION in a exciting 1 minute one-sided fight.
BECKY overpowered KOOKABURRA in a 1 minute uneven bout.
SLIPPERY NIPPLE demolished KONGOL in a 1 minute uneven contest.
CROOKED HOOF savagely defeated AEDON in a exciting 1 minute brutal struggle.
HUMMINGBIRD was unbelievably bested by NINJA FERD in a action packed 2 minute bout.
RAUNI demolished MOOSE in a 1 minute mismatched match.
HUNZICKER BOWL was subdued by REDDI WHIP in a popular 4 minute one-sided duel.
HEBEE was overpowered by DEMONICHELLION in a 1 minute one-sided competition.
GAR & BRILL handily defeated FAT BACK in a popular 1 minute brutal one-sided duel.
SPATHA won victory over LINI DAWNWIND in a crowd pleasing 1 minute duel.
PINE LEAF subdued CEER in a crowd pleasing 2 minute uneven conflict.
CAT IN THE HAT overpowered PORK ROLL in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided brawl.
BATTLE REPORT
MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS
|FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK 16 PARRY-STRIKE 13 - 3 - 0 81 |
|WALL OF STEEL 13 PARRY-RIPOSTE 23 - 10 - 0 70 |
|STRIKING ATTACK 11 WALL OF STEEL 60 - 33 - 1 65 |
|AIMED BLOW 9 AIMED BLOW 42 - 32 - 0 57 |
|SLASHING ATTACK 7 SLASHING ATTACK 37 - 34 - 0 52 |
|BASHING ATTACK 7 PARRY-LUNGE 11 - 11 - 0 50 |
|TOTAL PARRY 7 STRIKING ATTACK 48 - 56 - 1 46 |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE 4 TOTAL PARRY 27 - 36 - 0 43 |
|PARRY-LUNGE 2 LUNGING ATTACK 55 - 78 - 0 41 |
|PARRY-STRIKE 2 BASHING ATTACK 22 - 50 - 2 31 |
Turn 425 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are:
PARRY-RIPOSTE 3 - 1 LUNGING ATTACK 6 - 10 3 AIMED BLOW
WALL OF STEEL 9 - 4 BASHING ATTACK 2 - 5 3 STRIKING ATTACK
AIMED BLOW 6 - 3 TOTAL PARRY 0 - 7 2 LUNGING ATTACK
SLASHING ATTACK 4 - 3 1 WALL OF STEEL
STRIKING ATTACK 6 - 5 1 PARRY-LUNGE
PARRY-LUNGE 1 - 1 1 SLASHING ATTACK
PARRY-STRIKE 1 - 1
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE
FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME
AIMED BLOW NUTCRACKER 38-4380 34 24 1 235 ALL FINESSE (1236)
STRIKING ATTACK REDEMPTION 4-4868 35 27 2 249 BLADES OF MIST (780)
WALL OF STEEL KERMORVAN 1-3116 29 16 0 222 LAB EXPERIMENTS (1207)
PARRY-LUNGE SEGALLION SUNDANC 11-4600 40 27 1 210 TUFT TUGGERS (557)
LUNGING ATTACK MOD COD 55-2638 77 99 3 204 RHYME TYME (449)
TOTAL PARRY FANNY BELT 28-1804 43 25 1 193 OTTO'S MECHANICS (1073)
PARRY-RIPOSTE SWALLOWTAIL 1-7387 33 18 2 192 MANNEQUIN'S BEST (1227)
BASHING ATTACK JOE KING 47-2223 34 56 1 170 ROYAL FLUSH (146)
PARRY-STRIKE ROT TEN EGGS 47-3099 41 38 0 158 ROYAL FLUSH (146)
SLASHING ATTACK CROOKED HOOF 56-3493 39 29 0 150 REDHORSE (1325)
The overall popularity leader is KAIDEN 35-3108. The most popular warrior this turn
was BATAVIA 78-238. The ten other most popular fighters were HUNZICKER BOWL 23-4182,
CATFISH HUNTER 5-3315, KELDON WARLORD 42-2501, KERMORVAN 1-3116, PERFECT TEN 47-4218,
FEALOST 1-3916, BRANFORD HAWKE 11-5077, SAIONJI 73-4447, R IS FOR REPUGNANT 99-1155,
and BLACK JACK SHELACK 47-4850.
The least popular fighter this week was MOOSE 56-3459. The other ten least popular
fighters were KONGOL 7-4524, KOOKABURRA 33-4151, WRETCHEDMISERY 33-7255, TORYN 78-71,
BROKEN TOE 56-3683, BRICK WALL 1-7478, ROWDY YOBBO 20-3429, QUEEN AMAZONIA 12-4796,
PORK ROLL 97-1634, and FAT BACK 96-1610.
Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K
MORDANT(1) 2 4 0 CHIMLEVTAL(31) 2 1 0 DELARQ TOR(58) 0 2 0
JHELUM(4) 1 0 1 NIATOLI ISLAND(33) 1 2 0 ILLIS(59) 3 0 0
KALTOS(5) 2 0 0 MURSKA(35) 0 1 0 KURUKAR(64) 0 1 0
BONSUR(7) 1 2 0 CLIFFHOME(38) 2 1 0 ERINIKA(73) 1 1 0
ZUKAL(9) 0 1 0 XOCHITHLAN(39) 1 0 0 MAZGOURRAH(77) 1 1 0
ARUAK CITY(11) 3 3 0 RODEKI(42) 0 1 0 LIN TIRIAN(78) 0 2 0
RIZTAB(12) 0 3 0 KRILL(44) 1 0 0 MIROI CHANG(79) 0 1 0
ALJAFIR(17) 1 0 0 ARDIVENT(46) 1 0 0 DWES EG(82) 1 0 0
SEAM(20) 0 1 0 NORTH FORK(47) 7 2 0 OLD VALAMANTIS(96) 0 2 0
TI(23) 0 1 0 SNOWBOUND(50) 1 0 0 SHADOW GROVE(97) 1 1 0
ZORPUNT(24) 2 0 0 KHALANI(55) 1 0 0 SOUTH RIDGE(99) 1 0 0
MORYA(28) 0 1 0 ROCANIS(56) 1 5 0
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
KERMORVAN 1-3116 29 16 0 222 LAB EXPERIMENTS (1207) MORDANT
REDEMPTION 4-4868 35 27 2 249 BLADES OF MIST (780) JHELUM
CATFISH HUNTER 5-3315 17 17 1 133 PARTY ANIMALS (591) KALTOS
EXILE 7-4618 34 31 1 188 BLADES OF ICE (162) BONSUR
TICKLES 9-3486 65 90 1 163 MY PETS (554) ZUKAL
SEGALLION SUNDANCE 11-4600 40 27 1 210 TUFT TUGGERS (557) ARUAK CITY
AGLIBOL 12-5848 29 19 0 181 DARKMOON (1197) RIZTAB
BECKY 17-5782 25 12 3 161 BLADES OF STEEL (1068) ALJAFIR
ROWDY YOBBO 20-3429 24 28 1 122 SPARF! (1069) SEAM
HUNZICKER BOWL 23-4182 25 16 1 76 SKI TAOS (1070) TI
CAT IN THE HAT 24-3103 24 9 1 79 THE SEUSS HEUSS (804) ZORPUNT
FANNY BELT 28-1804 43 25 1 193 OTTO'S MECHANICS (1073) MORYA
RAUNI 31-5035 26 15 0 137 SOL INVICTUS (1355) CHIMLEVTAL
KOOKABURRA 33-4151 65 98 4 140 GIRL SCOUT COOKIES (812) NIATOLI ISLAND
KAIDEN 35-3108 107 106 2 183 VIOLENT FEMS (972) MURSKA
NUTCRACKER 38-4380 34 24 1 235 ALL FINESSE (1236) CLIFFHOME
HOCKEY DUCK 39-937 30 18 1 102 DUCKS UNLIMITED (1221) XOCHITHLAN
KELDON WARLORD 42-2501 18 11 1 82 WIND STORM (1365) RODEKI
UZI 44-1701 31 31 1 186 BLOWN AWAY (820) KRILL
FIENDISH GLEE 46-1553 33 22 5 202 CLEVER LINGO (1212) ARDIVENT
STEVE MCQUEEN 47-3908 44 41 1 193 ROYAL FLUSH (146) NORTH FORK
OSCAR 50-3153 34 10 0 133 OPEN SESAME (824) SNOWBOUND
MOD COD 55-2638 77 99 3 204 RHYME TYME (449) KHALANI
GAZELLE 56-3701 32 28 0 173 REDHORSE (1325) ROCANIS
HALLIE O'DENE 58-6018 68 93 0 192 CIRQUE DU MASQUES (1093) DELARQ TOR
LONDON QUIREBOY 59-2513 22 5 1 144 CHAPEL ROCK (1352) ILLIS
CARRIE NATION 64-4054 65 98 0 138 REFORMERS (1095) KURUKAR
BASE ON BULLS 73-3101 24 7 4 158 THE BULLS (1144) ERINIKA
MAD DOC WILLIAMS 77-2432 34 15 0 192 POSSE (1362) MAZGOURRAH
BATAVIA 78-238 27 19 0 149 LETHAL HERITAGE (750) LIN TIRIAN
POPE PAUL II 79-1317 24 18 0 183 CHAPEL ROCK (776) MIROI CHANG
SEX CAMEL 82-25548 19 22 4 136 SWEET NOTHINGS (1366) DWES EG
CEER 96-1537 9 6 4 39 THE BLOODGUARD 2 (1369) OLD VALAMANTIS
REDDI WHIP 97-1636 10 5 6 91 KILLING ME SOFTER (1368) SHADOW GROVE
R IS FOR REPUGNANT 99-1155 26 15 4 227 GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME (1306) SOUTH RIDGE