AD
Date : 09/20/2006 Duedate: 10/03/2006
HOME GUARD
DM-101 TURN-437
RANK TEAMS W L K % RANK TEAMS W L K %
1 TUFT TUGGERS 11/557 383 252 4 60.3 THE BLOODGUARD 2 96/1369
REALMS TUFTS 71/1344 6 SUPERIOR FOR 82/1385 228 222 1 50.7
2 RONIN 51/1376 21 16 0 56.8 7 DRAKE'S BAR-B 15/313 166 179 5 48.1
POSSE 77/1362 DRAKE'S PETTING ZOO 33/1075
POSSE 65/1388 8 DARKMOON 12/1197 136 150 1 47.6
3 STREET PIZZA 18/173 397 321 2 55.3 VILE REAVERS 59/1370
GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME 99/1306 SOL INVICTUS 31/1355
STREET PIZZAD XXII 82/1386 CHAOTICDISORDER 33/1353
KILLING ME SOFTER 97/1368 9 LORDS OF VAL 31/1208 39 43 0 47.6
KILLING ME SOFTLY 96/1367 10 JUST BECAUSE 38/1228 435 580 9 42.9
IT'S THE SAME MOVIE! 82/1382 11 MY PETS 9/554 551 830 15 39.9
4 BLADES OF ICE 7/162 408 337 8 54.8 RHYME TYME 55/449
BLADES OF MIST 4/780 THE SEUSS HEUSS 24/804
BLADES OF STEEL 17/1068 GIRL SCOUT COOKIES 33/812
5 ALL FINESSE 38/1236 217 188 2 53.6 12 REDHORSE 56/1325 261 399 1 39.5
SWEET NOTHINGS 82/1366 MOSSRUNNERS 1/928
MANNEQUIN'S BEST 1/1227 13 KRILL CAVALR 24/1364 525 875 6 37.5
SWEORDMASTERS 1/1210 HOMICIDAL MANIACS 1/1082
BATHTUB ARMADA 7/1196 CIRQUE DU MASQUES 58/1093
SECOND BANANAS 47/1363 KRILL CAVALRY 11/1358
'##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id '-' Team did not fight this turn
REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER
The original notes for this spy report were produced by Debby Tonte, and you
know Debby. She won hands down as "spy reporter who looks best in a bikini," but
nobody said she had literary talent or, for that matter, "skills and insights into
spy reporting." So I figured I'd better turn out and do it myself. It isn't like
any of the golems are going to care!
So... hmm. Very mysterious. Darkmoon is most avoiding Tuft Tuggers. Debby
says there's a secret involved, and it could be true. You never know.
Tenacious got the most challenges. Unfortunately, that doesn't mean that
Tenacious was the most prepared. You can't drink all night at Sloppy Joe's Bathhouse
and Marina and still be at your best in the morning.
Thirty-one fights, which is up from last time, but there were five standbys on
the sands, so I think we could call this total "padded." Twelve challenge matches,
which is not bad. Not good, but not bad. And a death. I'm not a major advocate of
killing gladiators, but a death every now and then keeps everybody alert. And it
isn't like it was permanent. Or even an impediment to living a normal, happy life,
to which I am a witness. You know that saying about "death and taxes"? Well, when
you're already dead, that's one less thing to worry about. Sure, taxes are worse
than death, but you're still ahead of the game.
PORK ROLL (97-1634) (11-15-5,62) of KILLING ME SOFTER fought HERMY (101-4) (0-0-
0,50) of the Louts Local. PORK ROLL was devastated by HERMY in a crowd pleasing 2
minute brutal one-sided duel. A hot-tempered lady, Hermy. And I've often heard her
say she'd kill for a good pork roll.
REDDI WHIP (97-1636) (13-13-6,43) of KILLING ME SOFTER fought HERMY (101-4) (0-
0-0,50) of the Louts Local. REDDI WHIP outlasted HERMY in an action packed 7 minute
brutal bout. Of course, after pigging out on a good pork roll, well, then it's a
different story.
YOU'VE GOT SEATTLE (82-31563) (16-15-1,38) of IT'S THE SAME MOVIE! fought LAKE
SAILOR (101-2) (0-0-0,30) of the Louts Local. YOU'VE GOT SEATTLE was overpowered by
LAKE SAILOR in a 1 minute one-sided fight. The Lake Sailor wants to know what he's
supposed to DO with Seattle? And you might just note that the standbys are now two
and one today. Let's see how it goes with the other two matches.
BROKEN TOE (56-3683) (37-62-1,66) of REDHORSE fought LINI DAWNWIND (11-5865)
(22-24-1,58) of KRILL CAVALRY. BROKEN TOE defeated LINI DAWNWIND in an exciting 1
minute match. I expected as much. No gallantry, those Rirorni.
DAIMYO (51-4219) (21-12-3,68) of RONIN fought MOUNTAIN GOAT (56-3700) (40-55-
3,64) of REDHORSE. DAIMYO overpowered MOUNTAIN GOAT in a 1 minute uneven duel. Hey,
he just wanted a sheepskin coat. Winter's coming. You gotta be prepared.
PIT FIGHTER (51-4297) (19-17-1,73) of RONIN fought HARLEY THE CADAVER (18-5366)
(19-27-3,70) of STREET PIZZA. PIT FIGHTER viciously subdued HARLEY THE CADAVER in an
exciting 2 minute gory duel. You see? I told you being dead isn't an impediment.
Harley didn't find it so, anyway. Although, now that I look at him more closely, I
think he could stand a little clean-up. Being dead doesn't mean you shouldn't be
clean, Harl.
SOUL SCOURGE (59-2589) (26-6-0,140) of VILE REAVERS fought NINJA FERD (101-30)
(0-0-0,130) of the Louts Local. SOUL SCOURGE was outwaited by NINJA FERD in an
action packed 7 minute brutal bout. That's two seven-minute fights today. Is seven
the Number of the Day? And note that this puts the standbys at three and one.
HUMMINGBIRD (56-3475) (38-46-0,132) of REDHORSE fought GAR & BRILL (38-4252)
(45-69-0,100) of JUST BECAUSE. HUMMINGBIRD was beaten by GAR & BRILL in a 1 minute
duel. Not that there's much meat on a hummingbird, especially when you brill it.
The damned thing's all feathers.
KOOKABURRA (33-4151) (70-104-4,116) of GIRL SCOUT COOKIES fought WRETCHEDMISERY
(33-7255) (28-17-0,133) of CHAOTICDISORDER. KOOKABURRA overpowered WRETCHEDMISERY in
an action packed 1 minute one-sided bout. Well, they tell me that kookaburras laugh.
Sounds like it would be enough to lighten anyone's spirits, and no need for harsh
chemical bleaches, either. Debby doesn't bleach her hair, in case you wondered.
It's naturally brassy.
BRIARTHORN (12-5671) (36-31-1,148) of DARKMOON fought PINE LEAF (24-4580) (30-
34-0,117) of KRILL CAVALRY. BRIARTHORN viciously subdued PINE LEAF in a popular 2
minute gruesome match. This some kind of "battle of the trees"? Listen, if you
expect me to do the spy report in cryptic couplets, you can forget it.
MOOSE (56-3459) (30-42-0,124) of REDHORSE fought FLABBY-O (82-30720) (7-1-1,91)
of STREET PIZZAD XXII. MOOSE was demolished by FLABBY-O in a 1 minute one-sided
fight. This has gotta be a case of "was my face red!" Less pizza, Moose, and you
might not succumb to flabby-o.
FEALOST (1-3916) (57-82-1,179) of MOSSRUNNERS fought DEMONICHELLION (33-7038)
(27-20-2,147) of CHAOTICDISORDER. FEALOST handily defeated DEMONICHELLION in a crowd
pleasing 1 minute gory uneven duel. Nothing like a random match! The handicapper
must be nuts, or taking payoffs. One or the other. And considering the size and
opulence of his lakefront estate, I can give you my opinion.
HELM HAMMERHAND (31-5025) (35-24-0,169) of LORDS OF VALHALLA fought AEDON (7-
4295) (46-43-1,120) of BLADES OF ICE. HELM HAMMERHAND overpowered AEDON in an
exciting 2 minute gory uneven fight. That's the trouble with icy blades, see? They
shatter if you hit 'em just so. And Helm is good at hitting 'em just so.
KONGOL (7-4524) (44-41-2,162) of BLADES OF ICE fought CAT IN THE HAT (24-3103)
(31-13-1,151) of THE SEUSS HEUSS. KONGOL was handily defeated by CAT IN THE HAT in a
1 minute mismatched competition. So many possibilities here! Magic hat. Hot cat.
The mysterious person in the stands who started playing music, catchy stuff, I admit,
that set Kongol dancing helplessly. Whatever.
CROOKED HOOF (56-3493) (43-36-0,167) of REDHORSE fought MAD DOC WILLIAMS (77-
2432) (35-19-0,159) of POSSE. CROOKED HOOF overpowered MAD DOC WILLIAMS in a 1
minute one-sided match. More kicking and trampling. These horse guys are shameless.
HALLIE O'DENE (58-6018) (74-98-0,186) of CIRQUE DU MASQUES fought LONG-NECKED
LARRY (101-22) (0-0-0,181) of the Louts Local. HALLIE O'DENE savagely defeated LONG-
NECKED LARRY in a 2 minute brutal match. Which brings the standbys in at three-two.
Some teams would be delighted with a turn like that.
MOD COD (55-2638) (80-107-3,188) of RHYME TYME fought SPATHA (31-4996) (36-25-
2,159) of SOL INVICTUS. MOD COD bested SPATHA in a popular 1 minute brawl. Yes,
well, it looks like a spatha is not the right tool for filleting cod. Gotta try
something else.
BECKY (17-5782) (31-17-3,185) of BLADES OF STEEL fought LUNA TYCK (33-5761) (38-
39-1,189) of DRAKE'S PETTING ZOO. BECKY viciously subdued LUNA TYCK in an exciting 1
minute bloody fray. Exciting? Messy, yes, when Becky squashed the tyck, but
exciting? Remember, blood on your robes will stain. Soak in cold water and hand-
wash.
KALIDOR THE BOLD (11-6441) (31-9-0,219) of TUFT TUGGERS fought DESPERADO (77-
2459) (34-17-2,183) of POSSE. KALIDOR THE BOLD defeated DESPERADO in a popular 3
minute bloody duel. And what's more, he did it boldly. Way to go. Yes, yes, I see
it's uneven, but what fight isn't, when you come down to it? Some matches between
total parries, maybe, but they aren't fights.
Ah, the challenge matches.
MISCHIEVOUS IMP (1-7627) (25-6-3,84) of SWEORDMASTERS challenged DUMPWEED (82-
13924) (21-2-0,92) of SUPERIOR FORCES B105. Up 8. MISCHIEVOUS IMP was devastated by
DUMPWEED in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge bout. And what is this "dumpweed," we
ask? Is it a new drug for which we must all be alert? Or merely some invasive and
unsightly herb like the much-execrated tumbleweed?
DRANDUS DE'VIR (71-4909) (20-13-0,74) of REALMS TUFTS challenged FAT BACK (96-
1610) (12-14-4,77) of KILLING ME SOFTLY. Up 3. DRANDUS DE'VIR devastated FAT BACK
in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge conflict. Fried him all crispy, in fact. Very
tasty, just going by the smell. Pork rinds, ah!
HEBEE (38-4359) (21-17-0,82) of ALL FINESSE challenged BRICK WALL (1-7478) (34-
31-0,88) of HOMICIDAL MANIACS. Up 6. HEBEE savagely defeated BRICK WALL in an
exciting 2 minute brutal Challenge fight. I didn't expect it to take finesse to
knock down a brick wall. Just brute strength. Hmm.
HELLACIOUS (1-7541) (25-6-1,136) of MANNEQUIN'S BEST challenged TICKLES (9-3486)
(68-98-1,140) of MY PETS. Up 4. HELLACIOUS overpowered TICKLES in an action packed
1 minute one-sided Challenge fight. No surprise here. After all, Hellacious is one
of Mannequin's BEST.
CEER (96-1537) (15-11-4,122) of THE BLOODGUARD 2 challenged BUCK (1-2291) (53-
115-0,140) of MOSSRUNNERS. Up 18. CEER was overpowered by BUCK in a 2 minute uneven
Challenge duel. Well... you can't fault Ceer's courage, even though you can question
his judgment. Okay, I suppose you COULD fault his courage, but nobody listen.
BRANFORD HAWKE (11-5077) (35-36-0,174) of TUFT TUGGERS challenged TENACIOUS (7-
5337) (44-20-1,190) of BATHTUB ARMADA. Up 16, to Tenacious the Most Challenged.
BRANFORD HAWKE handily defeated TENACIOUS in a 2 minute uneven Challenge melee. So,
can we guess that Branford was in it for the win? This brings him up to an even
record, and another win will put him on the uphill side. Not bad for two minutes'
work.
KRAMER (47-5191) (23-14-0,190) of SECOND BANANAS challenged EXILE (7-4618) (39-
37-1,204) of BLADES OF ICE. Up 14. KRAMER was luckily beaten by EXILE in a crowd
pleasing 6 minute gory Challenge brawl. A long fight, but seven is still the Number
of the Day. And what's this about luck? Does anyone really believe that LUCK has
that much to do with it? Skill, nothing but.
OBSESSED AVENGER (15-2162) (46-49-1,202) of DRAKE'S BAR-B-Q challenged SEX CAMEL
(82-25548) (26-26-4,209) of SWEET NOTHINGS. Up 7. OBSESSED AVENGER was viciously
subdued by SEX CAMEL in a 2 minute Challenge duel. Hang in there, OA! These little
set-backs occur in the life of every Hero. At least the nefarious Camel has revealed
his vicious nature here.
AGLIBOL (12-5848) (35-24-1,195) of DARKMOON challenged REDEMPTION (4-4868) (43-
30-2,255) of BLADES OF MIST. Up 60. AGLIBOL was defeated by REDEMPTION in a crowd
pleasing 2 minute Challenge match. Ah... can you say "reckless"? Aglibol, what were
you THINKING?
JOHN LONGSHORE (11-4197) (39-49-0,183) of TUFT TUGGERS challenged QUEEN AMAZONIA
(12-4796) (46-61-1,186) of DARKMOON. Up 3. JOHN LONGSHORE devastated QUEEN AMAZONIA
in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge contest. Does this mean that Queen Amazonia won't
come ashore? We've heard she's a ship's captain.
ZLATINA ANGUELOVA (11-4856) (44-39-1,189) of TUFT TUGGERS challenged RAUNI (31-
5035) (33-19-0,191) of SOL INVICTUS. Up 2. ZLATINA ANGUELOVA demolished RAUNI in a
popular 2 minute one-sided Challenge melee. That wasn't REALLY a hockey stick
Zlatina had, was it?
And for the title: NUTCRACKER (38-4380) (42-27-2,225) of ALL FINESSE challenged
R IS FOR REPUGNANT (99-1155) (36-16-4,259) of GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME. Up 34. NUTCRACKER
was viciously butchered by R IS FOR REPUGNANT in a 3 minute fight. Somebody here is
falling down on the job, one of the scribes in the Spy Reporters' office, I suppose.
Just LOOK at that descriptive phrase: "a three minute fight." It SHOULD be "a three
minute title challenge fight." Somebody, and I'm not naming any names but if he got
his head out of the bag he might guess who I mean, is really screwing up! Tough
going, Nutcracker. Better luck next time.
Olaf
CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
R IS FOR REPUGNANT 99-1155 37 16 5 326 GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME (1306) SOUTH RIDGE
GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
REDEMPTION 4-4868 44 30 2 268 BLADES OF MIST (780) JHELUM
KALIDOR THE BOLD 11-6441 32 9 0 232 TUFT TUGGERS (557) ARUAK CITY
SEX CAMEL 82-25548 27 26 4 217 SWEET NOTHINGS (1366) DWES EG
EXILE 7-4618 40 37 1 214 BLADES OF ICE (162) BONSUR
GRAND CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
ZLATINA ANGUELOVA 11-4856 45 39 1 210 TUFT TUGGERS (557) ARUAK CITY
BRANFORD HAWKE 11-5077 36 36 0 207 TUFT TUGGERS (557) ARUAK CITY
NUTCRACKER 38-4380 42 28 2 203 ALL FINESSE (1236) CLIFFHOME
OBSESSED AVENGER 15-2162 46 50 1 196 DRAKE'S BAR-B-Q (313) MALCORN
AGLIBOL 12-5848 35 25 1 196 DARKMOON (1197) RIZTAB
JOHN LONGSHORE 11-4197 40 49 0 195 TUFT TUGGERS (557) ARUAK CITY
MOD COD 55-2638 81 107 3 193 RHYME TYME (449) KHALANI
BECKY 17-5782 32 17 3 193 BLADES OF STEEL (1068) ALJAFIR
KRAMER 47-5191 23 15 0 192 SECOND BANANAS (1363) NORTH FORK
HALLIE O'DENE 58-6018 75 98 0 191 CIRQUE DU MASQUES (1093) DELARQ TOR
DESPERADO 77-2459 34 18 2 191 POSSE (1362) MAZGOURRAH
LUNA TYCK 33-5761 38 40 1 187 DRAKE'S PETTING ZOO (1075) NIATOLI ISLAND
FEALOST 1-3916 58 82 1 186 MOSSRUNNERS (928) MORDANT
CROOKED HOOF 56-3493 44 36 0 184 REDHORSE (1325) ROCANIS
RAUNI 31-5035 33 20 0 182 SOL INVICTUS (1355) CHIMLEVTAL
GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
QUEEN AMAZONIA 12-4796 46 62 1 174 DARKMOON (1197) RIZTAB
TENACIOUS 7-5337 44 21 1 172 BATHTUB ARMADA (1196) BONSUR
HELM HAMMERHAND 31-5025 36 24 0 172 LORDS OF VALHALLA (1208) CHIMLEVTAL
CAT IN THE HAT 24-3103 32 13 1 169 THE SEUSS HEUSS (804) ZORPUNT
SPATHA 31-4996 36 26 2 161 SOL INVICTUS (1355) CHIMLEVTAL
MAD DOC WILLIAMS 77-2432 35 20 0 153 POSSE (1362) MAZGOURRAH
KONGOL 7-4524 44 42 2 151 BLADES OF ICE (162) BONSUR
GRAND ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
BRIARTHORN 12-5671 37 31 1 150 DARKMOON (1197) RIZTAB
HELLACIOUS 1-7541 26 6 1 149 MANNEQUIN'S BEST (1227) MORDANT
BUCK 1-2291 54 115 0 148 MOSSRUNNERS (928) MORDANT
DEMONICHELLION 33-7038 27 21 2 145 CHAOTICDISORDER (1353) NIATOLI ISLAND
KOOKABURRA 33-4151 71 104 4 142 GIRL SCOUT COOKIES (812) NIATOLI ISLAND
TICKLES 9-3486 68 99 1 134 MY PETS (554) ZUKAL
SOUL SCOURGE 59-2589 26 7 0 133 VILE REAVERS (1370) ILLIS
-CHARISMATIC 15-4607 35 27 0 132 TRIPLE CROWN (990) MALCORN
GRAND ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
AEDON 7-4295 46 44 1 125 BLADES OF ICE (162) BONSUR
PINE LEAF 24-4580 30 35 0 123 KRILL CAVALRY (1364) ZORPUNT
GAR & BRILL 38-4252 46 69 0 121 JUST BECAUSE (1228) CLIFFHOME
CEER 96-1537 15 12 4 118 THE BLOODGUARD 2 (1369) OLD VALAMANTIS
FLABBY-O 82-30720 8 1 1 118 STREET PIZZAD XXII (1386) DWES EG
WRETCHEDMISERY 33-7255 28 18 0 114 CHAOTICDISORDER (1353) NIATOLI ISLAND
HUMMINGBIRD 56-3475 38 47 0 111 REDHORSE (1325) ROCANIS
-FURIOUS TERROR 63-2248 30 21 0 111 CAR AND DRIVER (573) AMEN-TEI
DUMPWEED 82-13924 22 2 0 111 SUPERIOR FORCES B105 (1385 DWES EG
GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
MOOSE 56-3459 30 43 0 99 REDHORSE (1325) ROCANIS
HEBEE 38-4359 22 17 0 95 ALL FINESSE (1236) CLIFFHOME
GRAND INITIATES W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
DRANDUS DE'VIR 71-4909 21 13 0 87 REALMS TUFTS (1344) KYR'TERR
BRICK WALL 1-7478 34 32 0 82 HOMICIDAL MANIACS (1082) MORDANT
MISCHIEVOUS IMP 1-7627 25 7 3 81 SWEORDMASTERS (1210) MORDANT
PIT FIGHTER 51-4297 20 17 1 80 RONIN (1376) TRICORUS
DAIMYO 51-4219 22 12 3 77 RONIN (1376) TRICORUS
BROKEN TOE 56-3683 38 62 1 70 REDHORSE (1325) ROCANIS
HARLEY THE CADAVER 18-5366 19 28 3 68 STREET PIZZA (173) TALCAMA
FAT BACK 96-1610 12 15 4 67 KILLING ME SOFTLY (1367) OLD VALAMANTIS
-JIMMY WONG 1-7674 18 6 2 62 LAB EXPERIMENTS (1207) MORDANT
MOUNTAIN GOAT 56-3700 40 56 3 58 REDHORSE (1325) ROCANIS
-DEADWOOD 65-6669 17 4 2 57 POSSE (1388) DAL SHANG
LINI DAWNWIND 11-5865 22 25 1 55 KRILL CAVALRY (1358) ARUAK CITY
-JACK MCFARLAND 47-5481 16 6 1 55 SECOND BANANAS (1363) NORTH FORK
REDDI WHIP 97-1636 14 13 6 55 KILLING ME SOFTER (1368) SHADOW GROVE
PORK ROLL 97-1634 11 16 5 46 KILLING ME SOFTER (1368) SHADOW GROVE
YOU'VE GOT SEATTL 82-31563 16 16 1 24 IT'S THE SAME MOVIE! (1382 DWES EG
'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.
THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN
NUTCRACKER 38-4380 42 28 2 ALL FINESSE 1236 R IS FOR REPUGNAN 99-1 437
PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE
Crooked Hoof -- Errant Evil Equine! Never shall you succeed in stealing our good
apple pie! For I am the Protector of Pastries, Curator of Cakes and Sentinel of
Strudels! I AM the Obsessed Avenger!
Fealost -- And that's what you get for not writing any personal ads. -- Luna Tyck
Yeah!
Olaf -- Constables?! Where?! -- Drake
Us. Or at least, you. If that's what Home Guard is doing. I think. I don't
remember exactly what we were saying last time.
Nutcracker -- Damn it, I was going to challenge you again, but at the last minute
Tankesh came in and told me no! He said he was tired of me losing and to put my ego
aside. Ego my ass, look who's talking!? What a wuss. The split is coming soon, and
he says I couldn't catch up even if I won every fight until then. Some people got no
nuts, and I'm not talking women like me! -- Zlatina
P.S. You win I guess. Not sure why, but I always underperform, and you always hit
your target, dang it.
P.P.S. Care to play a game of hockey?
Cat in the Hat -- Wow, that hat sure makes you tall! It is so colorful, too. I just
wish I still had hair. -- Dr. Longshore
But without hair, you can absolutely sure of not having a bad hair day.
Bad scalp day? -- Ed.
Soul Scourge -- You've been purged. -- Branford
Broken Toe -- Oh, you had me and then wimped out. Wuss. -- Drandus
Exile -- That is the way my fights should usually go, even against the ABs. A very
valiant attempt on your part. -- Kalidor
Obsessed Avenger -- Look here you Virulent Vespine! I am a holy warrior, bringer of
justice, a true man of righteousness. You are merely a pretender who can see no
further then his own ego, and accosts anyone who steps on the sands before you,
regardless of who they are, of which you obviously lack knowledge. So begone you
Caustic Cur, until your obssesiveness is tempered by knowledge and wisdom! -- Kalidor
the Bold
What's a "vespine"? I don't find it in my dictionary. (Websters not-so-New
International) The closest I could come was "vespid," of or pertaining to a
family of wasps.
Pretty much the same thing, just wasps in general rather than a family thereof.
I must say I never thought of wasps as being particularly family oriented
creatures though. -- Ed.
Drake -- So what did you come up with for team names on Drake's Dry-cleaners? --
Tankesh
Sex Camel -- Well, I still say it's weird. -- Hallie O'Dene
P.S. The whole idea, you know? Who'd want to have sex with a camel, except, of
course, another camel, and even then...well, I still find it hard to imagine.
P.P.S. I expect it's because you're too eager. Dwarves have no sense of proportion.
Which makes a kind of sense, what with you being so short and all.
Hellacious -- You don't find that limits your dating oportunities? -- Pine Leaf
Gar & Brill -- The Brick Wall apparently wants me to tell you that you are
"improperly installed." Put that on your brill and gaste it. -- Hallie O'Dene
So there.
Flabby-O -- Frankly disgusting. -- Lini Dawnwind
Obsessed Avenger -- Be careful with the thesaurus, though. They can be dangerous if
angered, and sometimes dust makes them sneeze, which angers them. Then you have a
monster on the loose! -- Hallie O'Dene
Luna Tyck -- Nice comeback. -- Fealost
Tycks are masters and mistresses of the snappy reply.
Ceer -- It's no point hitting me in the head. That's not one of my vital areas.
Good challenge, though. -- Buck
Drandus De'Vir -- I don't understand how I got worn out that fast. It's not like
you're a scum or anything. I think I'd better start eating more fiber. -- Broken Toe
Obsessed Avenger -- Well... meeting Lady Greywand isn't all it's cracked up to be.
She was in, she was out, I didn't even get her autograph. Thanks for nothin'. --
Crooked Hoof
Pine Leaf -- I didn't mean to kick you while you were down. That was an accident,
honestly. -- Crooked Hoof
Yeah, yeah, they all say that.
Oh! Losing to a stand-in. That was a very TOUGH ex-spyreporter though. --
Hummingbird
And then I lost to the same woman. (flushing with embarrassment) Katrina is
dangerous! -- Moose
Fat Back -- Get a gender, please, and lose some weight. -- Mountain Goat
Hey, you want to eat lean meat, do it, but don't deny the rest of us our
pleasures.
26 August 2006
The Avengers of Light. Another VC lackey? What's the matter VC, are you scared?
Bringing in reinforcements. It matters not, bring your avengers and they shall be
crushed! I am Dark Knight Blackstorm and I represent the Desolate Empire and can
easily be found in 8, 28, 31, 47, 54, and 106. I reply with steel and your women
shall cry when they start the body count!!!!!!!!! Remember to sign your posts to
whoever from the VC wrote that earlier Ad. -- Dark Knight Blackstorm
4 September 2006
Civil War/The Crusades
The next edition of the Civil War series is to be held in Tobir, arena 14, beginning
November 25th with a round where all participating managers must DA all 5 of their
warriors; in addition all warriors must be prefixed with an A an F or a D in the
following manner: A-Broke Stroker or (A) Broke Stroker. Names simply beginning with
the letter of your federation will NOT count as properly prefixed! Existing teams
are welcome but no warrior who survives the DA who had prior Fight Experience (arena
or tourney) will be allowed to score or challenge into the contest teams. There will
be an equal number of teams set up for each of the three factions (Andorian, Free
Blades, and Delarquan) to create sides as equal as possible. This along with the DA
round should set up pretty equal footing for all managers. After the DA there will
be another round where you can either DA again or fight your new, or surviving,
warriors so they will be set up to challenge an opponent beginning on round 1. So as
a recap DA round, turn 0, then turn 1 it begins with the following rules:
The Civil War to be held in arena 14.
- The contest runs for 10-28 turns (barring ties).
- No tourney participation allowed. Teams with warriors participating in any
tournament are disqualified.
- An even number of teams per faction worked out by the Faction Leaders. No later
substitutions are allowed.
- If a manager brings in a second team and challenges into the contest he is DQ'd and
his side will fight one team short!
- Three factions will be participating: Andorian, Delarquan, Free Blades
- Everyone prefixes their warrior with A-, F-, or D- (No prefix = disqualification of
the warrior)
- Turn DA: (The DA Round) November 25, 2006. Every warrior must DA. (Warriors not
DA'd on Turn 0 are disqualified)
- Turn 0: December 9th, 2006. There will be no scoring this turn it is meant to
allow for challenges on turn 1.
- Turn 1+: Scoring as detailed below
- Each team gets 1 point for defeating a warrior from an opposing team.
- Fights against warriors on your team do not generate points in any situation.
- The team with the most points each turn gets a Battle Point (if there is a tie for
the most points then no Battle Points are accrued)
- The first team to 10 Battle Points wins the war
- Managers of teams on the winning side each receive a +1 bonus potion to be used on
a warrior on their contest team. This must be applied within a month of the
conclusion of the contest and the team must have been active on the last turn of
the contest.
Anyone wishing to participate, and feels they can probably stick around for the
duration (don't want to handicap a side, of course unforeseeable events cannot be
planned for), should either diplo me at THE DEATH SQUAD(63) in Tobir (arena 14) or
place a personal ad in the arena. You may also contact me via the Duel2.com boards!
Let me know which faction you would like to fight for! This contest is intended to
be open to ALL managers wishing to pit themselves against each other to try and
determine which faction has the best managers! -- Street Legal
14 September 2006
I am back in the arena and thinking back to those days in 1984 where I was a
novice and clueless manager.
Now, 22 years later it looks like I am an ancient and once again clueless
manager.
I am looking to recover some old warriors. Since none of them are Aimed Blows,
they are no threat to win anything. I just want to see how they turned out.
The Couatl 2-17
Madam Butterfly 20-701
Gypsy Moth 20-703
King Crab 21-1
Priestess Python 26-1388
Please contact me at DekeYoung@Comcast.net if you know about any of these ancient
warriors, or just want to bs about the old, old, old times.
LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS
NUTCRACKER was viciously butchered by R IS FOR REPUGNANT in a 3 minute fight.
ZLATINA ANGUELOVA demolished RAUNI in a popular 2 minute one-sided Challenge melee.
JOHN LONGSHORE devastated QUEEN AMAZONIA in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge contest.
AGLIBOL was defeated by REDEMPTION in a crowd pleasing 2 minute Challenge match.
OBSESSED AVENGER was viciously subdued by SEX CAMEL in a 2 minute Challenge duel.
KRAMER was luckily beaten by EXILE in a crowd pleasing 6 minute gory Challenge brawl.
BRANFORD HAWKE handily defeated TENACIOUS in a 2 minute uneven Challenge melee.
CEER was overpowered by BUCK in a 2 minute uneven Challenge duel.
HELLACIOUS overpowered TICKLES in a action packed 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
HEBEE savagely defeated BRICK WALL in a exciting 2 minute brutal Challenge fight.
DRANDUS DE'VIR devastated FAT BACK in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge conflict.
MISCHIEVOUS IMP was devastated by DUMPWEED in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge bout.
KALIDOR THE BOLD defeated DESPERADO in a popular 3 minute bloody duel.
BECKY viciously subdued LUNA TYCK in a exciting 1 minute bloody fray.
MOD COD bested SPATHA in a popular 1 minute brawl.
HALLIE O'DENE savagely defeated LONG-NECKED LARRY in a 2 minute brutal match.
CROOKED HOOF overpowered MAD DOC WILLIAMS in a 1 minute one-sided match.
KONGOL was handily defeated by CAT IN THE HAT in a 1 minute mismatched competition.
HELM HAMMERHAND overpowered AEDON in a exciting 2 minute gory uneven fight.
FEALOST handily defeated DEMONICHELLION in a crowd pleasing 1 minute gory uneven duel.
MOOSE was demolished by FLABBY-O in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
BRIARTHORN viciously subdued PINE LEAF in a popular 2 minute gruesome match.
KOOKABURRA overpowered WRETCHEDMISERY in a action packed 1 minute one-sided bout.
HUMMINGBIRD was beaten by GAR & BRILL in a 1 minute duel.
SOUL SCOURGE was outwaited by NINJA FERD in a action packed 7 minute brutal bout.
PIT FIGHTER viciously subdued HARLEY THE CADAVER in a exciting 2 minute gory duel.
DAIMYO overpowered MOUNTAIN GOAT in a 1 minute uneven duel.
BROKEN TOE defeated LINI DAWNWIND in a exciting 1 minute match.
YOU'VE GOT SEATTLE was overpowered by LAKE SAILOR in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
REDDI WHIP outlasted HERMY in a action packed 7 minute brutal bout.
PORK ROLL was devastated by HERMY in a crowd pleasing 2 minute brutal one-sided duel.
BATTLE REPORT
MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS
|FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT|
|AIMED BLOW 10 STRIKING ATTACK 51 - 37 - 0 58 |
|STRIKING ATTACK 9 BASHING ATTACK 28 - 23 - 0 55 |
|LUNGING ATTACK 9 SLASHING ATTACK 20 - 18 - 0 53 |
|WALL OF STEEL 7 AIMED BLOW 42 - 40 - 2 51 |
|TOTAL PARRY 7 LUNGING ATTACK 46 - 45 - 0 51 |
|SLASHING ATTACK 5 PARRY-RIPOSTE 10 - 10 - 0 50 |
|BASHING ATTACK 5 WALL OF STEEL 35 - 40 - 0 47 |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE 2 TOTAL PARRY 22 - 35 - 0 39 |
|PARRY-LUNGE 2 PARRY-LUNGE 6 - 10 - 0 38 |
|PARRY-STRIKE 1 PARRY-STRIKE 3 - 8 - 0 27 |
Turn 437 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are:
STRIKING ATTACK 7 - 2 SLASHING ATTACK 2 - 3 4 AIMED BLOW
LUNGING ATTACK 6 - 3 BASHING ATTACK 2 - 3 2 WALL OF STEEL
WALL OF STEEL 4 - 3 TOTAL PARRY 1 - 6 2 LUNGING ATTACK
AIMED BLOW 5 - 5 PARRY-LUNGE 0 - 2 1 STRIKING ATTACK
PARRY-RIPOSTE 1 - 1 PARRY-STRIKE 0 - 1 1 PARRY-STRIKE
1 PARRY-RIPOSTE
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE
FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME
AIMED BLOW R IS FOR REPUGNAN 99-1155 37 16 5 326 GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME (1306)
STRIKING ATTACK REDEMPTION 4-4868 44 30 2 268 BLADES OF MIST (780)
WALL OF STEEL KALIDOR THE BOLD 11-6441 32 9 0 232 TUFT TUGGERS (557)
LUNGING ATTACK SEX CAMEL 82-25548 27 26 4 217 SWEET NOTHINGS (1366)
PARRY-STRIKE OBSESSED AVENGER 15-2162 46 50 1 196 DRAKE'S BAR-B-Q (313)
PARRY-RIPOSTE JOHN LONGSHORE 11-4197 40 49 0 195 TUFT TUGGERS (557)
SLASHING ATTACK DESPERADO 77-2459 34 18 2 191 POSSE (1362)
PARRY-LUNGE LUNA TYCK 33-5761 38 40 1 187 DRAKE'S PETTING ZOO (1075)
BASHING ATTACK QUEEN AMAZONIA 12-4796 46 62 1 174 DARKMOON (1197)
TOTAL PARRY TENACIOUS 7-5337 44 21 1 172 BATHTUB ARMADA (1196)
The overall popularity leader is MOD COD 55-2638. The most popular warrior this turn
was EXILE 7-4618. The ten other most popular fighters were KRAMER 47-5191, REDDI
WHIP 97-1636, DESPERADO 77-2459, BRIARTHORN 12-5671, SOUL SCOURGE 59-2589, REDEMPTION
4-4868, SEX CAMEL 82-25548, BRANFORD HAWKE 11-5077, PIT FIGHTER 51-4297, and
NUTCRACKER 38-4380.
The least popular fighter this week was YOU'VE GOT SEATTLE 82-31563. The other ten
least popular fighters were MOUNTAIN GOAT 56-3700, MOOSE 56-3459, KONGOL 7-4524, MAD
DOC WILLIAMS 77-2432, SPATHA 31-4996, PORK ROLL 97-1634, LINI DAWNWIND 11-5865,
DAIMYO 51-4219, HUMMINGBIRD 56-3475, and WRETCHEDMISERY 33-7255.
Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K
MORDANT(1) 3 2 0 ZORPUNT(24) 1 1 0 DELARQ TOR(58) 1 0 0
JHELUM(4) 1 0 0 CHIMLEVTAL(31) 1 2 0 ILLIS(59) 0 1 0
BONSUR(7) 1 3 0 NIATOLI ISLAND(33) 1 3 0 KYR'TERR(71) 1 0 0
ZUKAL(9) 0 1 0 CLIFFHOME(38) 2 1 0 MAZGOURRAH(77) 0 2 0
ARUAK CITY(11) 4 1 0 NORTH FORK(47) 0 1 0 DWES EG(82) 3 1 0
RIZTAB(12) 1 2 0 TRICORUS(51) 2 0 0 OLD VALAMANTIS(96) 0 2 0
MALCORN(15) 0 1 0 KHALANI(55) 1 0 0 SHADOW GROVE(97) 1 1 0
ALJAFIR(17) 1 0 0 ROCANIS(56) 2 3 0 SOUTH RIDGE(99) 1 0 1
TALCAMA(18) 0 1 0
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
FEALOST 1-3916 58 82 1 186 MOSSRUNNERS (928) MORDANT
REDEMPTION 4-4868 44 30 2 268 BLADES OF MIST (780) JHELUM
EXILE 7-4618 40 37 1 214 BLADES OF ICE (162) BONSUR
TICKLES 9-3486 68 99 1 134 MY PETS (554) ZUKAL
KALIDOR THE BOLD 11-6441 32 9 0 232 TUFT TUGGERS (557) ARUAK CITY
AGLIBOL 12-5848 35 25 1 196 DARKMOON (1197) RIZTAB
OBSESSED AVENGER 15-2162 46 50 1 196 DRAKE'S BAR-B-Q (313) MALCORN
BECKY 17-5782 32 17 3 193 BLADES OF STEEL (1068) ALJAFIR
HARLEY THE CADAVER 18-5366 19 28 3 68 STREET PIZZA (173) TALCAMA
CAT IN THE HAT 24-3103 32 13 1 169 THE SEUSS HEUSS (804) ZORPUNT
RAUNI 31-5035 33 20 0 182 SOL INVICTUS (1355) CHIMLEVTAL
LUNA TYCK 33-5761 38 40 1 187 DRAKE'S PETTING ZOO (1075) NIATOLI ISLAND
NUTCRACKER 38-4380 42 28 2 203 ALL FINESSE (1236) CLIFFHOME
KRAMER 47-5191 23 15 0 192 SECOND BANANAS (1363) NORTH FORK
PIT FIGHTER 51-4297 20 17 1 80 RONIN (1376) TRICORUS
MOD COD 55-2638 81 107 3 193 RHYME TYME (449) KHALANI
CROOKED HOOF 56-3493 44 36 0 184 REDHORSE (1325) ROCANIS
HALLIE O'DENE 58-6018 75 98 0 191 CIRQUE DU MASQUES (1093) DELARQ TOR
SOUL SCOURGE 59-2589 26 7 0 133 VILE REAVERS (1370) ILLIS
DRANDUS DE'VIR 71-4909 21 13 0 87 REALMS TUFTS (1344) KYR'TERR
DESPERADO 77-2459 34 18 2 191 POSSE (1362) MAZGOURRAH
SEX CAMEL 82-25548 27 26 4 217 SWEET NOTHINGS (1366) DWES EG
CEER 96-1537 15 12 4 118 THE BLOODGUARD 2 (1369) OLD VALAMANTIS
REDDI WHIP 97-1636 14 13 6 55 KILLING ME SOFTER (1368) SHADOW GROVE
R IS FOR REPUGNANT 99-1155 37 16 5 326 GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME (1306) SOUTH RIDGE