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Date   : 10/04/2006    Duedate: 10/17/2006

HOME GUARD

DM-101    TURN-438

RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %  RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %
  1 TUFT TUGGERS 11/557   384  255  4 60.1      PERFECTION QUEST 13 13/1389           
    REALMS TUFTS 71/1344                      6 SUPERIOR FOR 82/1385  229  222  1 50.8
  2-RONIN 51/1376          21   16  0 56.8    7 LORDS OF VAL 31/1208   40   43  0 48.2
    POSSE 77/1362                             8 DRAKE'S BAR-B 15/313  166  181  5 47.8
    POSSE 65/1388                               DRAKE'S PETTING ZOO 33/1075           
  3 STREET PIZZA 18/173   403  322  3 55.6    9 DARKMOON 12/1197      141  154  1 47.8
    GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME 99/1306                  VILE REAVERS 59/1370                  
    STREET PIZZAD XXII 82/1386                  CHAOTICDISORDER 33/1353               
    KILLING ME SOFTER 97/1368                   SOL INVICTUS 31/1355                  
    KILLING ME SOFTLY 96/1367                10 JUST BECAUSE 38/1228  435  581  9 42.8
    IT'S THE SAME MOVIE! 82/1382             11 MY PETS 9/554         555  830 15 40.1
  4 BLADES OF ICE 7/162   411  339  8 54.8      RHYME TYME 55/449                     
    BLADES OF MIST 4/780                        THE SEUSS HEUSS 24/804                
    BLADES OF STEEL 17/1068                     GIRL SCOUT COOKIES 33/812             
  5 ALL FINESSE 38/1236   221  192  2 53.5   12 REDHORSE 56/1325      262  405  1 39.3
    SWEET NOTHINGS 82/1366                      MOSSRUNNERS 1/928                     
    MANNEQUIN'S BEST 1/1227                  13 KRILL CAVALR 24/1364  527  877  6 37.5
    SWEORDMASTERS 1/1210                        CIRQUE DU MASQUES 58/1093             
    BATHTUB ARMADA 7/1196                       HOMICIDAL MANIACS 1/1082              
    SECOND BANANAS 47/1363                      KRILL CAVALRY 11/1358                 
    THE BLOODGUARD 2 96/1369              

    '##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id     '-'  Team did not fight this turn

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

     Yes, well, Debby was here all bright-eyed to do the spy report for Home Guard, 
but I just can't stand people who are bright-eyed at ridiculous hours in the morning.  
So I told her to go tan her, uh, elbow, and I'd handle it.  Of course, it was a lose-
lose situation.  Sure, I got that sunny smile out of the office, but now I have to do 
the spy report.  And then it clouded over and came on to rain, likely enough.  You 
just can't win at this game.

     No getting out of it now, though, so let's see what we have here.  Tuft Tuggers 
were most avoided.  Oooo-kay.  Why not?  By Drake's Bar-B-Q.  Now, that surprises me.  
A lot of other teams, well, at least one, were avoiding people, but I guess they 
avoided many other people instead of just one.  Whatever.  On a day like this, don't 
expect heavy thinking from me.
     Hellacious from Mannequin's Best got the most challenges.  Is there a prize for 
this?  Do you WANT to get the most challenges?  And I don't believe she avoided 
anyone.
     Twenty-eight fights, which is distinctly respectable.  Not great, but better 
than it's been some days.  Better than some places still are, ha!  Twelve challenges, 
not quite half, but VERY respectable considering.  Not that being respectable is 
necessarily a goal here in Home Guard, but if that's all we can manage, well, there 
it is.  And only three standbys.  A mere three standbys, after some showings lately, 
is very good indeed.  It barely cuts into our fight total, making it merely twenty-
six and a half fights.  And how can we have half a fight, you ask?  Easy.  Haven't 
you ever see an offensive warrior going against a master scum?  Perfect example.  One 
fights, the other doesn't.  Half a fight.

     So, let's run through this twenty-eight, or twenty-six and a half, fights.
     PORK ROLL (97-1634) (11-16-5,46) of KILLING ME SOFTER fought HERMY (101-4) (0-0-
0,50) of the Louts Local 101.  PORK ROLL overcame HERMY in an exciting 1 minute duel.  
Chemical warfare, this was.  Very nasty.  Hermy ran out of the arena and straight to 
the latrine.  There was a lot of lunch lying around in the hallway afterward, too.  
That'll teach you all, I hope, to be CAREFUL what you eat before the fights.  Best 
advice, don't eat until afterward.  Especially since you might find yourselves eating 
crow, which doesn't go well with anything.
     FAT BACK (96-1610) (12-15-4,67) of KILLING ME SOFTLY fought BRICK WALL (1-7478) 
(34-32-0,82) of HOMICIDAL MANIACS.  FAT BACK handily defeated BRICK WALL in a 2 
minute brutal uneven bout.  Here is a golem who has NO CLUE what to do with food.  We 
ended up with a stack of greased and sliding bricks.  Some people call it art, but 
they are not the ones cleaning up afterward.
     MANI (31-5102) (20-22-4,86) of SOL INVICTUS fought HARLEY THE CADAVER (18-5366) 
(19-28-3,68) of STREET PIZZA.  MANI savagely defeated HARLEY THE CADAVER in an 
exciting 5 minute gruesome melee.  Just a word of warning here, if anybody intends to 
serve pizza on THESE streets that contain pieces of, er, cadaver, there WILL be 
trouble.  Being a dead guy myself, I really take issue with that.
     YOU'VE GOT SEATTLE (82-31563) (16-16-1,24) of IT'S THE SAME MOVIE! fought B&G 
BOUNCER (101-3) (0-0-0,30) of the Louts Local 101.  YOU'VE GOT SEATTLE defeated B&G 
BOUNCER in a 1 minute bout.  "Seattle."  Is that some new brand of sword?  Or maybe a 
kind of sword steel, you know, "made of the finest seattle steel, honed to a razor's 
edge," that kind of thing.
     MOUNTAIN GOAT (56-3700) (40-56-3,58) of REDHORSE fought LINI DAWNWIND (11-5865) 
(22-25-1,55) of KRILL CAVALRY.  MOUNTAIN GOAT was vanquished by LINI DAWNWIND in a 1 
minute one-sided match.  I have here beside my regular notes an invitation to a 
cabrito dinner at the Krill Cavalry stable.  Makes you wonder, doesn't it?
     The lesson to be learned from this group of fights:  Eat carefully before 
fighting.  And since fights may erupt at any moment, whether you're in the arena or 
not, eat carefully at all times.  But make sure you've got plenty of embalming fluid 
on hand.

     BROKEN TOE (56-3683) (38-62-1,70) of REDHORSE fought REDDI WHIP (97-1636) (14-
13-6,55) of KILLING ME SOFTER.  BROKEN TOE was slain by REDDI WHIP in a 2 minute 
fight.  Ah, this one is rich!  Was it a soft death, Broken?  Or is a death, however 
delivered, overwhelmingly a death and forget the rest of it, eh?
     FLABBY-O (82-30720) (8-1-1,118) of STREET PIZZAD XXII fought FAST-FINGERS FRED 
(101-7) (0-0-0,110) of the Louts Local 101.  FLABBY-O handily defeated FAST-FINGERS 
FRED in an exciting 1 minute one-sided contest.  Exciting?  I'm not so sure about 
that.  Despite the implications of Flabby-o's name, Fred is, indeed, very fast, even 
when losing.  I think it counts as a mere blur, myself, and blurs do not excite me.
     KOOKABURRA (33-4151) (71-104-4,142) of GIRL SCOUT COOKIES fought GAR & BRILL 
(38-4252) (46-69-0,121) of JUST BECAUSE.  KOOKABURRA demolished GAR & BRILL in an 
action packed 1 minute uneven bout.  I don't have anything against the demoltion of 
the gar and the brill, but what I do object to is the mess that Kook left behind.  
Grease and grime, everywhere.  Remember this, folks, making a mess if fine and often 
a lot of fun, BUT don't leave it for someone else to clean up.
     BRIARTHORN (12-5671) (37-31-1,150) of DARKMOON fought DUMPWEED (82-13924) (22-2-
0,111) of SUPERIOR FORCES B105.  BRIARTHORN was defeated by DUMPWEED in a 2 minute 
duel.  That's why they call it a weed, of course.  Weeds triumph over everything.
     AEDON (7-4295) (46-44-1,125) of BLADES OF ICE fought HEBEE (38-4359) (22-17-
0,95) of ALL FINESSE.  AEDON unbelievably bested HEBEE in a crowd pleasing 4 minute 
gory competition.  Well... I can believe this.  The day was cold enough that there 
was none of that disconcerting problem Aedon has had before, to wit, the melting of 
his blade, and Hebee was just NOT paying attention.  Probably spent too long bashing 
his head against a brick wall lately.
     The lesson here:  Clean up after yourself, or you may find you've become 
somebody else's project and get cleared away when you aren't looking.

     CAT IN THE HAT (24-3103) (32-13-1,169) of THE SEUSS HEUSS fought HUMMINGBIRD 
(56-3475) (38-47-0,111) of REDHORSE.  CAT IN THE HAT overpowered HUMMINGBIRD in a 1 
minute one-sided match.  It's a trick move:  the hummingbird darts close and hovers, 
the better to strike a blow, and presto!  The cat whips off its hat and nabs the bird 
in one smooth move.
     HELM HAMMERHAND (31-5025) (36-24-0,172) of LORDS OF VALHALLA fought BUCK (1-
2291) (54-115-0,148) of MOSSRUNNERS.  HELM HAMMERHAND savagely defeated BUCK in an 
exciting 3 minute brutal bout.  Ah!  I see a trend developing here!  You know what a 
helm is, don't you?  Just a fancy steel hat!  And Buck, of course, was totally 
unprepared.
     BECKY (17-5782) (32-17-3,193) of BLADES OF STEEL fought JOHN LONGSHORE (11-4197) 
(40-49-0,195) of TUFT TUGGERS.  BECKY was bested by JOHN LONGSHORE in a 2 minute 
brawl.  I don't see a hat in this one, but I suppose you can't ALL wear hats.  Unless 
John would get one of those solar toppy things?
     BRANFORD HAWKE (11-5077) (36-36-0,207) of TUFT TUGGERS fought RAUNI (31-5035) 
(33-20-0,182) of SOL INVICTUS.  BRANFORD HAWKE was overcome by RAUNI in a crowd 
pleasing 3 minute bout.  Does this mean that Rauni tugged his tufts?  Sounds a little 
personal, but some fights are like that.
     REDEMPTION (4-4868) (44-30-2,268) of BLADES OF MIST fought FEALOST (1-3916) (58-
82-1,186) of MOSSRUNNERS.  REDEMPTION viciously subdued FEALOST in a crowd pleasing 2 
minute gruesome bout.  This was a tricky fight to watch, because of the illusions.  
People talk about "smoke and mirrors," but that's nothing to what somebody can do 
with a little mist in the right place.
     KALIDOR THE BOLD (11-6441) (32-9-0,232) of TUFT TUGGERS fought HALLIE O'DENE 
(58-6018) (75-98-0,191) of CIRQUE DU MASQUES.  KALIDOR THE BOLD was overpowered by 
HALLIE O'DENE in a 2 minute mismatched conflict.  Hallie didn't have a hat, either, 
but she had a masque, do you suppose that counts?  Well, I don't suppose it matters.
     And the lesson?  Who said I had to draw a lesson out of each group of fights?  
That way lies predictability, boringness, straining after logical connections, and 
(da da!) the Edifice Fallacy.  I'm not falling into that trap, no way!

     Instead, I'll note here the challenge matches... since we've used up all the 
random matches.  It isn't like there's any OTHER kind.
     MISCHIEVOUS IMP (1-7627) (25-7-3,81) of SWEORDMASTERS challenged MOOSE (56-3459) 
(30-43-0,99) of REDHORSE.  Up 18.  MISCHIEVOUS IMP luckily beat MOOSE in a crowd 
pleasing 3 minute Challenge match.  Three minutes?  That's a moose roast cooked very 
rare.
     SOUL SCOURGE (59-2589) (26-7-0,133) of VILE REAVERS challenged HELLACIOUS (1-
7541) (26-6-1,149) of MANNEQUIN'S BEST.  Up 16.  SOUL SCOURGE was subdued by 
HELLACIOUS in a 3 minute Challenge competition.  So much for being the one to get 
through to Most Challenged Hellacious, eh, Soul?
     CEER (96-1537) (15-12-4,118) of THE BLOODGUARD 2 challenged TICKLES (9-3486) 
(68-99-1,134) of MY PETS.  Up 16.  CEER was handily defeated by TICKLES in an 
exciting 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.  Some people just can't stand tickling, 
and you'd be surprised how much tickling can go on in a mere minute?  Exciting?  Oh, 
my!
     DEMONICHELLION (33-7038) (27-21-2,145) of CHAOTICDISORDER challenged KONGOL (7-
4524) (44-42-2,151) of BLADES OF ICE.  Up 6.  DEMONICHELLION vanquished KONGOL in an 
exciting 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.  Which just goes to show the danger of 
preparing for one encounter when you get something else instead.  Kongol showed up 
with ice CUBES, under the impression that there was going to be a drinking spree, 
and, well, ice cubes aren't much of a weapon unless you can get BEHIND people and put 
them down their neck.  Inside their armor.  Great laughs from the audience there.
     WRETCHEDMISERY (33-7255) (28-18-0,114) of CHAOTICDISORDER challenged PINE LEAF 
(24-4580) (30-35-0,123) of KRILL CAVALRY.  Up 9.  WRETCHEDMISERY vanquished PINE LEAF 
in a popular 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.  Can NOBODY here give this wretched one 
the misery she seeks?  Nothing but win, win, win, that's got to get old.
     QUEEN AMAZONIA (12-4796) (46-62-1,174) of DARKMOON challenged CROOKED HOOF (56-
3493) (44-36-0,184) of REDHORSE.  Up 10.  QUEEN AMAZONIA was handily defeated by 
CROOKED HOOF in a 1 minute Challenge fight.  Ah, well, you have been warned, Queenie.  
The Hoofster kicks.  Crookedly, so when you dodge, you're more likely to dodge right 
INTO the kick than out of it.
     And the lesson:  be careful who you challenge, you may get through.

     SPATHA (31-4996) (36-26-2,161) of SOL INVICTUS challenged TENACIOUS (7-5337) 
(44-21-1,172) of BATHTUB ARMADA.  Up 11.  SPATHA was luckily beaten by TENACIOUS in 
an exciting 5 minute Challenge struggle.  Five minutes?  In these days of short 
fights, that calls for a masterpiece of tenacity.
     AGLIBOL (12-5848) (35-25-1,196) of DARKMOON challenged OBSESSED AVENGER (15-
2162) (46-50-1,196) of DRAKE'S BAR-B-Q.  Straight across.  AGLIBOL savagely defeated 
OBSESSED AVENGER in a 4 minute Challenge competition.  Whoa!  What have we HERE, eh?  
Somebody with a murky name who goes about in the dark of the moon.  Could be up to 
anything!
     NUTCRACKER (38-4380) (42-28-2,203) of ALL FINESSE challenged ZLATINA ANGUELOVA 
(11-4856) (45-39-1,210) of TUFT TUGGERS.  Up 7.  NUTCRACKER devastated ZLATINA 
ANGUELOVA in a 2 minute one-sided Challenge contest.  Well, people have said that 
Zlatina is a tough nut.  But every nut has its planes of cleavage.  And Zlatina's 
cleavage is very well developed, too.
     KRAMER (47-5191) (23-15-0,192) of SECOND BANANAS challenged EXILE (7-4618) (40-
37-1,214) of BLADES OF ICE.  Up 22.  KRAMER was subdued by EXILE in an action packed 
1 minute Challenge fight.  Kramer is now a prime candidate for inclusion in a banana 
split.
     LUNA TYCK (33-5761) (38-40-1,187) of DRAKE'S PETTING ZOO challenged MOD COD (55-
2638) (81-107-3,193) of RHYME TYME.  Up 6.  LUNA TYCK was viciously subdued by MOD 
COD in an exciting 1 minute Challenge duel.  Darn!  Can nobody filet this fish?

     And for the title, a challenge!  SEX CAMEL (82-25548) (27-26-4,217) of SWEET 
NOTHINGS challenged R IS FOR REPUGNANT (99-1155) (37-16-5,326) of GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME.  
Up lots.  You really want me to labor over this math?  Okay, up, uh, 109 points, 
though the fights shown are equal and both gladiators are hardened killers.  SEX 
CAMEL was bested by R IS FOR REPUGNANT in a 2 minute Challenge Title fight.  And a 
good thing.  The prospect of Sex Camel on the throne, in so far as that thing can be 
called a throne, more of a divan, actually, is not one that appeals.  And I speak 
here as one who, being dead, wots of what he speaks, as the saying goes.  The 
fellow's unhealthy.  Stands to reason.  Anyway, congratulations on R the Silent.

                                        Olaf

CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD          W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 R IS FOR REPUGNANT 99-1155  38  16  5  333  GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME (1306)  SOUTH RIDGE

GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 REDEMPTION 4-4868           45  30  2  272  BLADES OF MIST (780)       JHELUM
 EXILE 7-4618                41  37  1  222  BLADES OF ICE (162)        BONSUR
 HALLIE O'DENE 58-6018       76  98  0  219  CIRQUE DU MASQUES (1093)   DELARQ TOR
 NUTCRACKER 38-4380          43  28  2  217  ALL FINESSE (1236)         CLIFFHOME

GRAND CHAMPIONS               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 JOHN LONGSHORE 11-4197      41  49  0  208  TUFT TUGGERS (557)         ARUAK CITY
 AGLIBOL 12-5848             36  25  1  204  DARKMOON (1197)            RIZTAB
 SEX CAMEL 82-25548          27  27  4  202  SWEET NOTHINGS (1366)      DWES EG
 RAUNI 31-5035               34  20  0  199  SOL INVICTUS (1355)        CHIMLEVTAL
 MOD COD 55-2638             82 107  3  197  RHYME TYME (449)           KHALANI
 OBSESSED AVENGER 15-2162    46  51  1  197  DRAKE'S BAR-B-Q (313)      MALCORN
 ZLATINA ANGUELOVA 11-4856   45  40  1  194  TUFT TUGGERS (557)         ARUAK CITY
 CROOKED HOOF 56-3493        45  36  0  192  REDHORSE (1325)            ROCANIS
 BRANFORD HAWKE 11-5077      36  37  0  191  TUFT TUGGERS (557)         ARUAK CITY
-DESPERADO 77-2459           34  18  2  191  POSSE (1362)               MAZGOURRAH
 KRAMER 47-5191              23  16  0  190  SECOND BANANAS (1363)      NORTH FORK
 FEALOST 1-3916              58  83  1  189  MOSSRUNNERS (928)          MORDANT
 BECKY 17-5782               32  18  3  189  BLADES OF STEEL (1068)     ALJAFIR
 KALIDOR THE BOLD 11-6441    32  10  0  185  TUFT TUGGERS (557)         ARUAK CITY
 LUNA TYCK 33-5761           38  41  1  184  DRAKE'S PETTING ZOO (1075) NIATOLI ISLAND

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 TENACIOUS 7-5337            45  21  1  179  BATHTUB ARMADA (1196)      BONSUR
 HELM HAMMERHAND 31-5025     37  24  0  174  LORDS OF VALHALLA (1208)   CHIMLEVTAL
 CAT IN THE HAT 24-3103      33  13  1  171  THE SEUSS HEUSS (804)      ZORPUNT
 QUEEN AMAZONIA 12-4796      46  63  1  169  DARKMOON (1197)            RIZTAB
 SPATHA 31-4996              36  27  2  168  SOL INVICTUS (1355)        CHIMLEVTAL

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 HELLACIOUS 1-7541           27   6  1  163  MANNEQUIN'S BEST (1227)    MORDANT
 DEMONICHELLION 33-7038      28  21  2  160  CHAOTICDISORDER (1353)     NIATOLI ISLAND
-MAD DOC WILLIAMS 77-2432    35  20  0  153  POSSE (1362)               MAZGOURRAH

GRAND ADEPTS                  W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 BUCK 1-2291                 54 116  0  150  MOSSRUNNERS (928)          MORDANT
 KOOKABURRA 33-4151          72 104  4  148  GIRL SCOUT COOKIES (812)   NIATOLI ISLAND
 TICKLES 9-3486              69  99  1  143  MY PETS (554)              ZUKAL
 KONGOL 7-4524               44  43  2  140  BLADES OF ICE (162)        BONSUR
 DUMPWEED 82-13924           23   2  0  140  SUPERIOR FORCES B105 (1385 DWES EG
 SOUL SCOURGE 59-2589        26   8  0  137  VILE REAVERS (1370)        ILLIS
-CHARISMATIC 15-4607         35  27  0  132  TRIPLE CROWN (990)         MALCORN
 WRETCHEDMISERY 33-7255      29  18  0  132  CHAOTICDISORDER (1353)     NIATOLI ISLAND
 BRIARTHORN 12-5671          37  32  1  130  DARKMOON (1197)            RIZTAB
 AEDON 7-4295                47  44  1  127  BLADES OF ICE (162)        BONSUR
 FLABBY-O 82-30720            9   1  1  127  STREET PIZZAD XXII (1386)  DWES EG
 HUMMINGBIRD 56-3475         38  48  0  121  REDHORSE (1325)            ROCANIS
 GAR & BRILL 38-4252         46  70  0  116  JUST BECAUSE (1228)        CLIFFHOME
 CEER 96-1537                15  13  4  112  THE BLOODGUARD 2 (1369)    OLD VALAMANTIS
 PINE LEAF 24-4580           30  36  0  111  KRILL CAVALRY (1364)       ZORPUNT
-FURIOUS TERROR 63-2248      30  21  0  111  CAR AND DRIVER (573)       AMEN-TEI

GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 HEBEE 38-4359               22  18  0  100  ALL FINESSE (1236)         CLIFFHOME
 MISCHIEVOUS IMP 1-7627      26   7  3   96  SWEORDMASTERS (1210)       MORDANT
 MOOSE 56-3459               30  44  0   93  REDHORSE (1325)            ROCANIS

GRAND INITIATES               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 MANI 31-5102                21  22  4   89  SOL INVICTUS (1355)        CHIMLEVTAL
-DRANDUS DE'VIR 71-4909      21  13  0   87  REALMS TUFTS (1344)        KYR'TERR
 FAT BACK 96-1610            13  15  4   87  KILLING ME SOFTLY (1367)   OLD VALAMANTIS
 REDDI WHIP 97-1636          15  13  7   85  KILLING ME SOFTER (1368)   SHADOW GROVE
-PIT FIGHTER 51-4297         20  17  1   80  RONIN (1376)               TRICORUS
-DAIMYO 51-4219              22  12  3   77  RONIN (1376)               TRICORUS
 HARLEY THE CADAVER 18-5366  19  29  3   71  STREET PIZZA (173)         TALCAMA
 LINI DAWNWIND 11-5865       23  25  1   68  KRILL CAVALRY (1358)       ARUAK CITY
 BRICK WALL 1-7478           34  33  0   64  HOMICIDAL MANIACS (1082)   MORDANT
-JIMMY WONG 1-7674           18   6  2   62  LAB EXPERIMENTS (1207)     MORDANT
 BROKEN TOE 56-3683          38  63  1   59  REDHORSE (1325)            ROCANIS
-UTTERLY LARGE (LU) 13-4845  17   7  0   58  PERFECTION QUEST 13 (1389) DULLENS
-DEADWOOD 65-6669            17   4  2   57  POSSE (1388)               DAL SHANG
-JACK MCFARLAND 47-5481      16   6  1   55  SECOND BANANAS (1363)      NORTH FORK
 PORK ROLL 97-1634           12  16  5   54  KILLING ME SOFTER (1368)   SHADOW GROVE
 MOUNTAIN GOAT 56-3700       40  57  3   46  REDHORSE (1325)            ROCANIS
 YOU'VE GOT SEATTL 82-31563  17  16  1   32  IT'S THE SAME MOVIE! (1382 DWES EG

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                    W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY              TURN
BROKEN TOE 56-3683         38  63  1 REDHORSE 1325          REDDI WHIP 97-1636     438

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

It's 5-0's like that that keep my 60% w/l record alive.  I love it.  Now back to our 
regularly scheduled pudliness... -- Tankesh

Rauni -- We hadn't fought you yet, so I gave it a shot.  Nice action, though you seem 
a bit rusty. -- Zlatina

     Brillo pads.  The very thing for rust.

Queen Amazonia -- I had no idea what to expect.  I got the win, but those were not 
the skills I was looking for.  Thank you for them never-the-less. -- John Longshore

Fat Back -- Disgusting. -- Drandus

     Good with beans, though.

Tenacious -- You were, but not enough for the onslaught. -- Branford

Desperado -- Improve your aim and you might win.  An excellent fight, well done. -- 
Kalidor

Drake -- We need constables to come and give OA a good shake down!  Just to see what 
happens! -- Tankesh

Ed & Olaf -- So, did you like my creative use of that word?  Vespine?  I think it fit 
Obsessed Avenger very well.  He's like a swarming mass that is annoying and drives 
people away from him.  And his words come in swarms too, stinging.  But like all 
dangerous insects, he needs to be eliminated. -- Kalidor

     It'll do.  It isn't every word that will send me to the dictionary.

Hallie O'Dene -- Sex Camel is not about having sex WITH a camel!  The name is a 
metaphor for those people who go without sex for long periods of time, like camels 
who go without water for long periods of time.  Of course camels store water in their 
bodies for that purpose, I'm not sure how one stores sex.  Perhaps just good 
memories? -- Tankesh

     You realize that overuse of certain punctuation marks can be dangerous to your
     health? -- Temp Ed.

Hebee -- Ah, let me get this, well, not straight, but at least more clear in my mind.  
It goes something like this:
      Sturdy buttress, your footings are too close, and you nearly toppled this wall.  
To do this with intent is not plumb.  The Great Mason would not authorize such an 
occurence.  Many of my component bricks have been chipped, and remortaring is 
required.
      All of which I *think* means:  Good fight.  You overwhelmed me, and I'm 
distraught.  How could the gods have allowed it? -- Hallie O'Dene, channeling the 
Brick Wall

Long-Necked Larry -- Well, if you stick it out, you have to expect someone to take a 
whack at it. -- Hallie O'Dene

Briarthorn -- You're thornier than I am, and a lot more aggressive.  Ouch.  As they 
say (and I don't believe most of them mean it), Good fight. -- Pine Leaf

Broken Toe -- I hope you broke it WORSE when you KICKED me, you brute. -- Lini 
Dawnwind
P.S.  Olaf is right.  No gallantry.

     I'm always right.  It's a gift.

Olaf -- What, you CAN'T do cryptic couplets?  But surely all the BEST reporters do.
-- Pine Leaf

     *I* am the best spy reporter.  The others would be totally incapable of
     couplets, cryptic or otherwise, and I don't want to shame them.

Olaf -- Hebee had the brute strength, too. -- Hallie

     Ah.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

SEX CAMEL was bested by R IS FOR REPUGNANT in a 2 minute Challenge Title fight.
LUNA TYCK was viciously subdued by MOD COD in a exciting 1 minute Challenge duel.
KRAMER was subdued by EXILE in a action packed 1 minute Challenge fight.
NUTCRACKER devastated ZLATINA ANGUELOVA in a 2 minute one-sided Challenge contest.
AGLIBOL savagely defeated OBSESSED AVENGER in a 4 minute Challenge competition.
SPATHA was luckily beaten by TENACIOUS in a exciting 5 minute Challenge struggle.
QUEEN AMAZONIA was handily defeated by CROOKED HOOF in a 1 minute Challenge fight.
WRETCHEDMISERY vanquished PINE LEAF in a popular 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
DEMONICHELLION vanquished KONGOL in a exciting 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
CEER was handily defeated by TICKLES in a exciting 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
SOUL SCOURGE was subdued by HELLACIOUS in a 3 minute Challenge competition.
MISCHIEVOUS IMP luckily beat MOOSE in a crowd pleasing 3 minute Challenge match.
KALIDOR THE BOLD was overpowered by HALLIE O'DENE in a 2 minute mismatched conflict.
REDEMPTION viciously subdued FEALOST in a crowd pleasing 2 minute gruesome bout.
BRANFORD HAWKE was overcome by RAUNI in a crowd pleasing 3 minute bout.
BECKY was bested by JOHN LONGSHORE in a 2 minute brawl.
HELM HAMMERHAND savagely defeated BUCK in a exciting 3 minute brutal bout.
CAT IN THE HAT overpowered HUMMINGBIRD in a 1 minute one-sided match.
AEDON unbelievably bested HEBEE in a crowd pleasing 4 minute gory competition.
BRIARTHORN was defeated by DUMPWEED in a 2 minute duel.
KOOKABURRA demolished GAR & BRILL in a action packed 1 minute uneven bout.
FLABBY-O handily defeated FAST-FINGERS FRED in a exciting 1 minute one-sided contest.
BROKEN TOE was slain by REDDI WHIP in a 2 minute fight.
MOUNTAIN GOAT was vanquished by LINI DAWNWIND in a 1 minute one-sided match.
YOU'VE GOT SEATTLE defeated B&G BOUNCER in a 1 minute bout.
MANI savagely defeated HARLEY THE CADAVER in a exciting 5 minute gruesome melee.
FAT BACK handily defeated BRICK WALL in a 2 minute brutal uneven bout.
PORK ROLL overcame HERMY in a exciting 1 minute duel.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|AIMED BLOW                       9         STRIKING ATTACK   49 -  38 -  0      56  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   9         SLASHING ATTACK   21 -  17 -  0      55  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  8         LUNGING ATTACK    49 -  42 -  0      54  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    7         AIMED BLOW        45 -  40 -  2      53  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      6         BASHING ATTACK    26 -  24 -  0      52  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   5         PARRY-RIPOSTE     10 -  10 -  0      50  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  4         WALL OF STEEL     32 -  42 -  1      43  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         TOTAL PARRY       24 -  33 -  0      42  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      2         PARRY-LUNGE        7 -  10 -  0      41  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         PARRY-STRIKE       2 -   9 -  0      18  |

Turn 438 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-RIPOSTE      2 -  0     STRIKING ATTACK    3 -  5         4  AIMED BLOW     
SLASHING ATTACK    3 -  1     WALL OF STEEL      2 -  5         3  LUNGING ATTACK 
AIMED BLOW         6 -  3     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  1         2  PARRY-RIPOSTE  
BASHING ATTACK     3 -  2                                       1  STRIKING ATTACK
LUNGING ATTACK     5 -  4                                       1  PARRY-STRIKE   
PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  1     
TOTAL PARRY        3 -  3     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
AIMED BLOW       R IS FOR REPUGNAN 99-1155  38  16  5  333 GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME (1306)
STRIKING ATTACK  REDEMPTION 4-4868          45  30  2  272 BLADES OF MIST (780)
LUNGING ATTACK   EXILE 7-4618               41  37  1  222 BLADES OF ICE (162)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    JOHN LONGSHORE 11-4197     41  49  0  208 TUFT TUGGERS (557)

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
PARRY-STRIKE     OBSESSED AVENGER 15-2162   46  51  1  197 DRAKE'S BAR-B-Q (313)
WALL OF STEEL    ZLATINA ANGUELOVA 11-4856  45  40  1  194 TUFT TUGGERS (557)
SLASHING ATTACK  CROOKED HOOF 56-3493       45  36  0  192 REDHORSE (1325)
PARRY-LUNGE      LUNA TYCK 33-5761          38  41  1  184 DRAKE'S PETTING ZOO (1075)
TOTAL PARRY      TENACIOUS 7-5337           45  21  1  179 BATHTUB ARMADA (1196)
BASHING ATTACK   QUEEN AMAZONIA 12-4796     46  63  1  169 DARKMOON (1197)

The overall popularity leader is MOD COD 55-2638.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was MANI 31-5102.  The ten other most popular fighters were HELLACIOUS 1-7541, MOOSE 
56-3459, HELM HAMMERHAND 31-5025, AGLIBOL 12-5848, HEBEE 38-4359, HARLEY THE CADAVER 
18-5366, SPATHA 31-4996, RAUNI 31-5035, OBSESSED AVENGER 15-2162, and WRETCHEDMISERY 
33-7255.

The least popular fighter this week was HUMMINGBIRD 56-3475.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were BRICK WALL 1-7478, MOUNTAIN GOAT 56-3700, BRIARTHORN 12-5671, 
FEALOST 1-3916, CEER 96-1537, TENACIOUS 7-5337, ZLATINA ANGUELOVA 11-4856, KRAMER 
47-5191, LUNA TYCK 33-5761, and YOU'VE GOT SEATTLE 82-31563.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
MORDANT(1)           2  3 0  TALCAMA(18)          0  1 0  ROCANIS(56)          1  4 0  
JHELUM(4)            1  0 0  ZORPUNT(24)          1  1 0  DELARQ TOR(58)       1  0 0  
BONSUR(7)            3  1 0  CHIMLEVTAL(31)       3  1 0  ILLIS(59)            0  1 0  
ZUKAL(9)             1  0 0  NIATOLI ISLAND(33)   3  1 0  DWES EG(82)          3  1 0  
ARUAK CITY(11)       2  3 0  CLIFFHOME(38)        1  2 0  OLD VALAMANTIS(96)   1  1 0  
RIZTAB(12)           1  2 0  NORTH FORK(47)       0  1 0  SHADOW GROVE(97)     2  0 1  
MALCORN(15)          0  1 0  KHALANI(55)          1  0 0  SOUTH RIDGE(99)      1  0 0  
ALJAFIR(17)          0  1 0  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 FEALOST 1-3916              58  83  1  189  MOSSRUNNERS (928)          MORDANT
 REDEMPTION 4-4868           45  30  2  272  BLADES OF MIST (780)       JHELUM
 EXILE 7-4618                41  37  1  222  BLADES OF ICE (162)        BONSUR
 TICKLES 9-3486              69  99  1  143  MY PETS (554)              ZUKAL
 JOHN LONGSHORE 11-4197      41  49  0  208  TUFT TUGGERS (557)         ARUAK CITY
 AGLIBOL 12-5848             36  25  1  204  DARKMOON (1197)            RIZTAB
 OBSESSED AVENGER 15-2162    46  51  1  197  DRAKE'S BAR-B-Q (313)      MALCORN
 BECKY 17-5782               32  18  3  189  BLADES OF STEEL (1068)     ALJAFIR
 HARLEY THE CADAVER 18-5366  19  29  3   71  STREET PIZZA (173)         TALCAMA
 CAT IN THE HAT 24-3103      33  13  1  171  THE SEUSS HEUSS (804)      ZORPUNT
 RAUNI 31-5035               34  20  0  199  SOL INVICTUS (1355)        CHIMLEVTAL
 LUNA TYCK 33-5761           38  41  1  184  DRAKE'S PETTING ZOO (1075) NIATOLI ISLAND
 NUTCRACKER 38-4380          43  28  2  217  ALL FINESSE (1236)         CLIFFHOME
 KRAMER 47-5191              23  16  0  190  SECOND BANANAS (1363)      NORTH FORK
 MOD COD 55-2638             82 107  3  197  RHYME TYME (449)           KHALANI
 CROOKED HOOF 56-3493        45  36  0  192  REDHORSE (1325)            ROCANIS
 HALLIE O'DENE 58-6018       76  98  0  219  CIRQUE DU MASQUES (1093)   DELARQ TOR
 SOUL SCOURGE 59-2589        26   8  0  137  VILE REAVERS (1370)        ILLIS
 SEX CAMEL 82-25548          27  27  4  202  SWEET NOTHINGS (1366)      DWES EG
 CEER 96-1537                15  13  4  112  THE BLOODGUARD 2 (1369)    OLD VALAMANTIS
 REDDI WHIP 97-1636          15  13  7   85  KILLING ME SOFTER (1368)   SHADOW GROVE
 R IS FOR REPUGNANT 99-1155  38  16  5  333  GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME (1306)  SOUTH RIDGE