AD
Date : 10/04/2006 Duedate: 10/17/2006
HOME GUARD
DM-101 TURN-438
RANK TEAMS W L K % RANK TEAMS W L K %
1 TUFT TUGGERS 11/557 384 255 4 60.1 PERFECTION QUEST 13 13/1389
REALMS TUFTS 71/1344 6 SUPERIOR FOR 82/1385 229 222 1 50.8
2-RONIN 51/1376 21 16 0 56.8 7 LORDS OF VAL 31/1208 40 43 0 48.2
POSSE 77/1362 8 DRAKE'S BAR-B 15/313 166 181 5 47.8
POSSE 65/1388 DRAKE'S PETTING ZOO 33/1075
3 STREET PIZZA 18/173 403 322 3 55.6 9 DARKMOON 12/1197 141 154 1 47.8
GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME 99/1306 VILE REAVERS 59/1370
STREET PIZZAD XXII 82/1386 CHAOTICDISORDER 33/1353
KILLING ME SOFTER 97/1368 SOL INVICTUS 31/1355
KILLING ME SOFTLY 96/1367 10 JUST BECAUSE 38/1228 435 581 9 42.8
IT'S THE SAME MOVIE! 82/1382 11 MY PETS 9/554 555 830 15 40.1
4 BLADES OF ICE 7/162 411 339 8 54.8 RHYME TYME 55/449
BLADES OF MIST 4/780 THE SEUSS HEUSS 24/804
BLADES OF STEEL 17/1068 GIRL SCOUT COOKIES 33/812
5 ALL FINESSE 38/1236 221 192 2 53.5 12 REDHORSE 56/1325 262 405 1 39.3
SWEET NOTHINGS 82/1366 MOSSRUNNERS 1/928
MANNEQUIN'S BEST 1/1227 13 KRILL CAVALR 24/1364 527 877 6 37.5
SWEORDMASTERS 1/1210 CIRQUE DU MASQUES 58/1093
BATHTUB ARMADA 7/1196 HOMICIDAL MANIACS 1/1082
SECOND BANANAS 47/1363 KRILL CAVALRY 11/1358
THE BLOODGUARD 2 96/1369
'##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id '-' Team did not fight this turn
REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER
Yes, well, Debby was here all bright-eyed to do the spy report for Home Guard,
but I just can't stand people who are bright-eyed at ridiculous hours in the morning.
So I told her to go tan her, uh, elbow, and I'd handle it. Of course, it was a lose-
lose situation. Sure, I got that sunny smile out of the office, but now I have to do
the spy report. And then it clouded over and came on to rain, likely enough. You
just can't win at this game.
No getting out of it now, though, so let's see what we have here. Tuft Tuggers
were most avoided. Oooo-kay. Why not? By Drake's Bar-B-Q. Now, that surprises me.
A lot of other teams, well, at least one, were avoiding people, but I guess they
avoided many other people instead of just one. Whatever. On a day like this, don't
expect heavy thinking from me.
Hellacious from Mannequin's Best got the most challenges. Is there a prize for
this? Do you WANT to get the most challenges? And I don't believe she avoided
anyone.
Twenty-eight fights, which is distinctly respectable. Not great, but better
than it's been some days. Better than some places still are, ha! Twelve challenges,
not quite half, but VERY respectable considering. Not that being respectable is
necessarily a goal here in Home Guard, but if that's all we can manage, well, there
it is. And only three standbys. A mere three standbys, after some showings lately,
is very good indeed. It barely cuts into our fight total, making it merely twenty-
six and a half fights. And how can we have half a fight, you ask? Easy. Haven't
you ever see an offensive warrior going against a master scum? Perfect example. One
fights, the other doesn't. Half a fight.
So, let's run through this twenty-eight, or twenty-six and a half, fights.
PORK ROLL (97-1634) (11-16-5,46) of KILLING ME SOFTER fought HERMY (101-4) (0-0-
0,50) of the Louts Local 101. PORK ROLL overcame HERMY in an exciting 1 minute duel.
Chemical warfare, this was. Very nasty. Hermy ran out of the arena and straight to
the latrine. There was a lot of lunch lying around in the hallway afterward, too.
That'll teach you all, I hope, to be CAREFUL what you eat before the fights. Best
advice, don't eat until afterward. Especially since you might find yourselves eating
crow, which doesn't go well with anything.
FAT BACK (96-1610) (12-15-4,67) of KILLING ME SOFTLY fought BRICK WALL (1-7478)
(34-32-0,82) of HOMICIDAL MANIACS. FAT BACK handily defeated BRICK WALL in a 2
minute brutal uneven bout. Here is a golem who has NO CLUE what to do with food. We
ended up with a stack of greased and sliding bricks. Some people call it art, but
they are not the ones cleaning up afterward.
MANI (31-5102) (20-22-4,86) of SOL INVICTUS fought HARLEY THE CADAVER (18-5366)
(19-28-3,68) of STREET PIZZA. MANI savagely defeated HARLEY THE CADAVER in an
exciting 5 minute gruesome melee. Just a word of warning here, if anybody intends to
serve pizza on THESE streets that contain pieces of, er, cadaver, there WILL be
trouble. Being a dead guy myself, I really take issue with that.
YOU'VE GOT SEATTLE (82-31563) (16-16-1,24) of IT'S THE SAME MOVIE! fought B&G
BOUNCER (101-3) (0-0-0,30) of the Louts Local 101. YOU'VE GOT SEATTLE defeated B&G
BOUNCER in a 1 minute bout. "Seattle." Is that some new brand of sword? Or maybe a
kind of sword steel, you know, "made of the finest seattle steel, honed to a razor's
edge," that kind of thing.
MOUNTAIN GOAT (56-3700) (40-56-3,58) of REDHORSE fought LINI DAWNWIND (11-5865)
(22-25-1,55) of KRILL CAVALRY. MOUNTAIN GOAT was vanquished by LINI DAWNWIND in a 1
minute one-sided match. I have here beside my regular notes an invitation to a
cabrito dinner at the Krill Cavalry stable. Makes you wonder, doesn't it?
The lesson to be learned from this group of fights: Eat carefully before
fighting. And since fights may erupt at any moment, whether you're in the arena or
not, eat carefully at all times. But make sure you've got plenty of embalming fluid
on hand.
BROKEN TOE (56-3683) (38-62-1,70) of REDHORSE fought REDDI WHIP (97-1636) (14-
13-6,55) of KILLING ME SOFTER. BROKEN TOE was slain by REDDI WHIP in a 2 minute
fight. Ah, this one is rich! Was it a soft death, Broken? Or is a death, however
delivered, overwhelmingly a death and forget the rest of it, eh?
FLABBY-O (82-30720) (8-1-1,118) of STREET PIZZAD XXII fought FAST-FINGERS FRED
(101-7) (0-0-0,110) of the Louts Local 101. FLABBY-O handily defeated FAST-FINGERS
FRED in an exciting 1 minute one-sided contest. Exciting? I'm not so sure about
that. Despite the implications of Flabby-o's name, Fred is, indeed, very fast, even
when losing. I think it counts as a mere blur, myself, and blurs do not excite me.
KOOKABURRA (33-4151) (71-104-4,142) of GIRL SCOUT COOKIES fought GAR & BRILL
(38-4252) (46-69-0,121) of JUST BECAUSE. KOOKABURRA demolished GAR & BRILL in an
action packed 1 minute uneven bout. I don't have anything against the demoltion of
the gar and the brill, but what I do object to is the mess that Kook left behind.
Grease and grime, everywhere. Remember this, folks, making a mess if fine and often
a lot of fun, BUT don't leave it for someone else to clean up.
BRIARTHORN (12-5671) (37-31-1,150) of DARKMOON fought DUMPWEED (82-13924) (22-2-
0,111) of SUPERIOR FORCES B105. BRIARTHORN was defeated by DUMPWEED in a 2 minute
duel. That's why they call it a weed, of course. Weeds triumph over everything.
AEDON (7-4295) (46-44-1,125) of BLADES OF ICE fought HEBEE (38-4359) (22-17-
0,95) of ALL FINESSE. AEDON unbelievably bested HEBEE in a crowd pleasing 4 minute
gory competition. Well... I can believe this. The day was cold enough that there
was none of that disconcerting problem Aedon has had before, to wit, the melting of
his blade, and Hebee was just NOT paying attention. Probably spent too long bashing
his head against a brick wall lately.
The lesson here: Clean up after yourself, or you may find you've become
somebody else's project and get cleared away when you aren't looking.
CAT IN THE HAT (24-3103) (32-13-1,169) of THE SEUSS HEUSS fought HUMMINGBIRD
(56-3475) (38-47-0,111) of REDHORSE. CAT IN THE HAT overpowered HUMMINGBIRD in a 1
minute one-sided match. It's a trick move: the hummingbird darts close and hovers,
the better to strike a blow, and presto! The cat whips off its hat and nabs the bird
in one smooth move.
HELM HAMMERHAND (31-5025) (36-24-0,172) of LORDS OF VALHALLA fought BUCK (1-
2291) (54-115-0,148) of MOSSRUNNERS. HELM HAMMERHAND savagely defeated BUCK in an
exciting 3 minute brutal bout. Ah! I see a trend developing here! You know what a
helm is, don't you? Just a fancy steel hat! And Buck, of course, was totally
unprepared.
BECKY (17-5782) (32-17-3,193) of BLADES OF STEEL fought JOHN LONGSHORE (11-4197)
(40-49-0,195) of TUFT TUGGERS. BECKY was bested by JOHN LONGSHORE in a 2 minute
brawl. I don't see a hat in this one, but I suppose you can't ALL wear hats. Unless
John would get one of those solar toppy things?
BRANFORD HAWKE (11-5077) (36-36-0,207) of TUFT TUGGERS fought RAUNI (31-5035)
(33-20-0,182) of SOL INVICTUS. BRANFORD HAWKE was overcome by RAUNI in a crowd
pleasing 3 minute bout. Does this mean that Rauni tugged his tufts? Sounds a little
personal, but some fights are like that.
REDEMPTION (4-4868) (44-30-2,268) of BLADES OF MIST fought FEALOST (1-3916) (58-
82-1,186) of MOSSRUNNERS. REDEMPTION viciously subdued FEALOST in a crowd pleasing 2
minute gruesome bout. This was a tricky fight to watch, because of the illusions.
People talk about "smoke and mirrors," but that's nothing to what somebody can do
with a little mist in the right place.
KALIDOR THE BOLD (11-6441) (32-9-0,232) of TUFT TUGGERS fought HALLIE O'DENE
(58-6018) (75-98-0,191) of CIRQUE DU MASQUES. KALIDOR THE BOLD was overpowered by
HALLIE O'DENE in a 2 minute mismatched conflict. Hallie didn't have a hat, either,
but she had a masque, do you suppose that counts? Well, I don't suppose it matters.
And the lesson? Who said I had to draw a lesson out of each group of fights?
That way lies predictability, boringness, straining after logical connections, and
(da da!) the Edifice Fallacy. I'm not falling into that trap, no way!
Instead, I'll note here the challenge matches... since we've used up all the
random matches. It isn't like there's any OTHER kind.
MISCHIEVOUS IMP (1-7627) (25-7-3,81) of SWEORDMASTERS challenged MOOSE (56-3459)
(30-43-0,99) of REDHORSE. Up 18. MISCHIEVOUS IMP luckily beat MOOSE in a crowd
pleasing 3 minute Challenge match. Three minutes? That's a moose roast cooked very
rare.
SOUL SCOURGE (59-2589) (26-7-0,133) of VILE REAVERS challenged HELLACIOUS (1-
7541) (26-6-1,149) of MANNEQUIN'S BEST. Up 16. SOUL SCOURGE was subdued by
HELLACIOUS in a 3 minute Challenge competition. So much for being the one to get
through to Most Challenged Hellacious, eh, Soul?
CEER (96-1537) (15-12-4,118) of THE BLOODGUARD 2 challenged TICKLES (9-3486)
(68-99-1,134) of MY PETS. Up 16. CEER was handily defeated by TICKLES in an
exciting 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout. Some people just can't stand tickling,
and you'd be surprised how much tickling can go on in a mere minute? Exciting? Oh,
my!
DEMONICHELLION (33-7038) (27-21-2,145) of CHAOTICDISORDER challenged KONGOL (7-
4524) (44-42-2,151) of BLADES OF ICE. Up 6. DEMONICHELLION vanquished KONGOL in an
exciting 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight. Which just goes to show the danger of
preparing for one encounter when you get something else instead. Kongol showed up
with ice CUBES, under the impression that there was going to be a drinking spree,
and, well, ice cubes aren't much of a weapon unless you can get BEHIND people and put
them down their neck. Inside their armor. Great laughs from the audience there.
WRETCHEDMISERY (33-7255) (28-18-0,114) of CHAOTICDISORDER challenged PINE LEAF
(24-4580) (30-35-0,123) of KRILL CAVALRY. Up 9. WRETCHEDMISERY vanquished PINE LEAF
in a popular 1 minute uneven Challenge duel. Can NOBODY here give this wretched one
the misery she seeks? Nothing but win, win, win, that's got to get old.
QUEEN AMAZONIA (12-4796) (46-62-1,174) of DARKMOON challenged CROOKED HOOF (56-
3493) (44-36-0,184) of REDHORSE. Up 10. QUEEN AMAZONIA was handily defeated by
CROOKED HOOF in a 1 minute Challenge fight. Ah, well, you have been warned, Queenie.
The Hoofster kicks. Crookedly, so when you dodge, you're more likely to dodge right
INTO the kick than out of it.
And the lesson: be careful who you challenge, you may get through.
SPATHA (31-4996) (36-26-2,161) of SOL INVICTUS challenged TENACIOUS (7-5337)
(44-21-1,172) of BATHTUB ARMADA. Up 11. SPATHA was luckily beaten by TENACIOUS in
an exciting 5 minute Challenge struggle. Five minutes? In these days of short
fights, that calls for a masterpiece of tenacity.
AGLIBOL (12-5848) (35-25-1,196) of DARKMOON challenged OBSESSED AVENGER (15-
2162) (46-50-1,196) of DRAKE'S BAR-B-Q. Straight across. AGLIBOL savagely defeated
OBSESSED AVENGER in a 4 minute Challenge competition. Whoa! What have we HERE, eh?
Somebody with a murky name who goes about in the dark of the moon. Could be up to
anything!
NUTCRACKER (38-4380) (42-28-2,203) of ALL FINESSE challenged ZLATINA ANGUELOVA
(11-4856) (45-39-1,210) of TUFT TUGGERS. Up 7. NUTCRACKER devastated ZLATINA
ANGUELOVA in a 2 minute one-sided Challenge contest. Well, people have said that
Zlatina is a tough nut. But every nut has its planes of cleavage. And Zlatina's
cleavage is very well developed, too.
KRAMER (47-5191) (23-15-0,192) of SECOND BANANAS challenged EXILE (7-4618) (40-
37-1,214) of BLADES OF ICE. Up 22. KRAMER was subdued by EXILE in an action packed
1 minute Challenge fight. Kramer is now a prime candidate for inclusion in a banana
split.
LUNA TYCK (33-5761) (38-40-1,187) of DRAKE'S PETTING ZOO challenged MOD COD (55-
2638) (81-107-3,193) of RHYME TYME. Up 6. LUNA TYCK was viciously subdued by MOD
COD in an exciting 1 minute Challenge duel. Darn! Can nobody filet this fish?
And for the title, a challenge! SEX CAMEL (82-25548) (27-26-4,217) of SWEET
NOTHINGS challenged R IS FOR REPUGNANT (99-1155) (37-16-5,326) of GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME.
Up lots. You really want me to labor over this math? Okay, up, uh, 109 points,
though the fights shown are equal and both gladiators are hardened killers. SEX
CAMEL was bested by R IS FOR REPUGNANT in a 2 minute Challenge Title fight. And a
good thing. The prospect of Sex Camel on the throne, in so far as that thing can be
called a throne, more of a divan, actually, is not one that appeals. And I speak
here as one who, being dead, wots of what he speaks, as the saying goes. The
fellow's unhealthy. Stands to reason. Anyway, congratulations on R the Silent.
Olaf
CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
R IS FOR REPUGNANT 99-1155 38 16 5 333 GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME (1306) SOUTH RIDGE
GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
REDEMPTION 4-4868 45 30 2 272 BLADES OF MIST (780) JHELUM
EXILE 7-4618 41 37 1 222 BLADES OF ICE (162) BONSUR
HALLIE O'DENE 58-6018 76 98 0 219 CIRQUE DU MASQUES (1093) DELARQ TOR
NUTCRACKER 38-4380 43 28 2 217 ALL FINESSE (1236) CLIFFHOME
GRAND CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
JOHN LONGSHORE 11-4197 41 49 0 208 TUFT TUGGERS (557) ARUAK CITY
AGLIBOL 12-5848 36 25 1 204 DARKMOON (1197) RIZTAB
SEX CAMEL 82-25548 27 27 4 202 SWEET NOTHINGS (1366) DWES EG
RAUNI 31-5035 34 20 0 199 SOL INVICTUS (1355) CHIMLEVTAL
MOD COD 55-2638 82 107 3 197 RHYME TYME (449) KHALANI
OBSESSED AVENGER 15-2162 46 51 1 197 DRAKE'S BAR-B-Q (313) MALCORN
ZLATINA ANGUELOVA 11-4856 45 40 1 194 TUFT TUGGERS (557) ARUAK CITY
CROOKED HOOF 56-3493 45 36 0 192 REDHORSE (1325) ROCANIS
BRANFORD HAWKE 11-5077 36 37 0 191 TUFT TUGGERS (557) ARUAK CITY
-DESPERADO 77-2459 34 18 2 191 POSSE (1362) MAZGOURRAH
KRAMER 47-5191 23 16 0 190 SECOND BANANAS (1363) NORTH FORK
FEALOST 1-3916 58 83 1 189 MOSSRUNNERS (928) MORDANT
BECKY 17-5782 32 18 3 189 BLADES OF STEEL (1068) ALJAFIR
KALIDOR THE BOLD 11-6441 32 10 0 185 TUFT TUGGERS (557) ARUAK CITY
LUNA TYCK 33-5761 38 41 1 184 DRAKE'S PETTING ZOO (1075) NIATOLI ISLAND
GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
TENACIOUS 7-5337 45 21 1 179 BATHTUB ARMADA (1196) BONSUR
HELM HAMMERHAND 31-5025 37 24 0 174 LORDS OF VALHALLA (1208) CHIMLEVTAL
CAT IN THE HAT 24-3103 33 13 1 171 THE SEUSS HEUSS (804) ZORPUNT
QUEEN AMAZONIA 12-4796 46 63 1 169 DARKMOON (1197) RIZTAB
SPATHA 31-4996 36 27 2 168 SOL INVICTUS (1355) CHIMLEVTAL
GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
HELLACIOUS 1-7541 27 6 1 163 MANNEQUIN'S BEST (1227) MORDANT
DEMONICHELLION 33-7038 28 21 2 160 CHAOTICDISORDER (1353) NIATOLI ISLAND
-MAD DOC WILLIAMS 77-2432 35 20 0 153 POSSE (1362) MAZGOURRAH
GRAND ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
BUCK 1-2291 54 116 0 150 MOSSRUNNERS (928) MORDANT
KOOKABURRA 33-4151 72 104 4 148 GIRL SCOUT COOKIES (812) NIATOLI ISLAND
TICKLES 9-3486 69 99 1 143 MY PETS (554) ZUKAL
KONGOL 7-4524 44 43 2 140 BLADES OF ICE (162) BONSUR
DUMPWEED 82-13924 23 2 0 140 SUPERIOR FORCES B105 (1385 DWES EG
SOUL SCOURGE 59-2589 26 8 0 137 VILE REAVERS (1370) ILLIS
-CHARISMATIC 15-4607 35 27 0 132 TRIPLE CROWN (990) MALCORN
WRETCHEDMISERY 33-7255 29 18 0 132 CHAOTICDISORDER (1353) NIATOLI ISLAND
BRIARTHORN 12-5671 37 32 1 130 DARKMOON (1197) RIZTAB
AEDON 7-4295 47 44 1 127 BLADES OF ICE (162) BONSUR
FLABBY-O 82-30720 9 1 1 127 STREET PIZZAD XXII (1386) DWES EG
HUMMINGBIRD 56-3475 38 48 0 121 REDHORSE (1325) ROCANIS
GAR & BRILL 38-4252 46 70 0 116 JUST BECAUSE (1228) CLIFFHOME
CEER 96-1537 15 13 4 112 THE BLOODGUARD 2 (1369) OLD VALAMANTIS
PINE LEAF 24-4580 30 36 0 111 KRILL CAVALRY (1364) ZORPUNT
-FURIOUS TERROR 63-2248 30 21 0 111 CAR AND DRIVER (573) AMEN-TEI
GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
HEBEE 38-4359 22 18 0 100 ALL FINESSE (1236) CLIFFHOME
MISCHIEVOUS IMP 1-7627 26 7 3 96 SWEORDMASTERS (1210) MORDANT
MOOSE 56-3459 30 44 0 93 REDHORSE (1325) ROCANIS
GRAND INITIATES W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
MANI 31-5102 21 22 4 89 SOL INVICTUS (1355) CHIMLEVTAL
-DRANDUS DE'VIR 71-4909 21 13 0 87 REALMS TUFTS (1344) KYR'TERR
FAT BACK 96-1610 13 15 4 87 KILLING ME SOFTLY (1367) OLD VALAMANTIS
REDDI WHIP 97-1636 15 13 7 85 KILLING ME SOFTER (1368) SHADOW GROVE
-PIT FIGHTER 51-4297 20 17 1 80 RONIN (1376) TRICORUS
-DAIMYO 51-4219 22 12 3 77 RONIN (1376) TRICORUS
HARLEY THE CADAVER 18-5366 19 29 3 71 STREET PIZZA (173) TALCAMA
LINI DAWNWIND 11-5865 23 25 1 68 KRILL CAVALRY (1358) ARUAK CITY
BRICK WALL 1-7478 34 33 0 64 HOMICIDAL MANIACS (1082) MORDANT
-JIMMY WONG 1-7674 18 6 2 62 LAB EXPERIMENTS (1207) MORDANT
BROKEN TOE 56-3683 38 63 1 59 REDHORSE (1325) ROCANIS
-UTTERLY LARGE (LU) 13-4845 17 7 0 58 PERFECTION QUEST 13 (1389) DULLENS
-DEADWOOD 65-6669 17 4 2 57 POSSE (1388) DAL SHANG
-JACK MCFARLAND 47-5481 16 6 1 55 SECOND BANANAS (1363) NORTH FORK
PORK ROLL 97-1634 12 16 5 54 KILLING ME SOFTER (1368) SHADOW GROVE
MOUNTAIN GOAT 56-3700 40 57 3 46 REDHORSE (1325) ROCANIS
YOU'VE GOT SEATTL 82-31563 17 16 1 32 IT'S THE SAME MOVIE! (1382 DWES EG
'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.
THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN
BROKEN TOE 56-3683 38 63 1 REDHORSE 1325 REDDI WHIP 97-1636 438
PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE
It's 5-0's like that that keep my 60% w/l record alive. I love it. Now back to our
regularly scheduled pudliness... -- Tankesh
Rauni -- We hadn't fought you yet, so I gave it a shot. Nice action, though you seem
a bit rusty. -- Zlatina
Brillo pads. The very thing for rust.
Queen Amazonia -- I had no idea what to expect. I got the win, but those were not
the skills I was looking for. Thank you for them never-the-less. -- John Longshore
Fat Back -- Disgusting. -- Drandus
Good with beans, though.
Tenacious -- You were, but not enough for the onslaught. -- Branford
Desperado -- Improve your aim and you might win. An excellent fight, well done. --
Kalidor
Drake -- We need constables to come and give OA a good shake down! Just to see what
happens! -- Tankesh
Ed & Olaf -- So, did you like my creative use of that word? Vespine? I think it fit
Obsessed Avenger very well. He's like a swarming mass that is annoying and drives
people away from him. And his words come in swarms too, stinging. But like all
dangerous insects, he needs to be eliminated. -- Kalidor
It'll do. It isn't every word that will send me to the dictionary.
Hallie O'Dene -- Sex Camel is not about having sex WITH a camel! The name is a
metaphor for those people who go without sex for long periods of time, like camels
who go without water for long periods of time. Of course camels store water in their
bodies for that purpose, I'm not sure how one stores sex. Perhaps just good
memories? -- Tankesh
You realize that overuse of certain punctuation marks can be dangerous to your
health? -- Temp Ed.
Hebee -- Ah, let me get this, well, not straight, but at least more clear in my mind.
It goes something like this:
Sturdy buttress, your footings are too close, and you nearly toppled this wall.
To do this with intent is not plumb. The Great Mason would not authorize such an
occurence. Many of my component bricks have been chipped, and remortaring is
required.
All of which I *think* means: Good fight. You overwhelmed me, and I'm
distraught. How could the gods have allowed it? -- Hallie O'Dene, channeling the
Brick Wall
Long-Necked Larry -- Well, if you stick it out, you have to expect someone to take a
whack at it. -- Hallie O'Dene
Briarthorn -- You're thornier than I am, and a lot more aggressive. Ouch. As they
say (and I don't believe most of them mean it), Good fight. -- Pine Leaf
Broken Toe -- I hope you broke it WORSE when you KICKED me, you brute. -- Lini
Dawnwind
P.S. Olaf is right. No gallantry.
I'm always right. It's a gift.
Olaf -- What, you CAN'T do cryptic couplets? But surely all the BEST reporters do.
-- Pine Leaf
*I* am the best spy reporter. The others would be totally incapable of
couplets, cryptic or otherwise, and I don't want to shame them.
Olaf -- Hebee had the brute strength, too. -- Hallie
Ah.
LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS
SEX CAMEL was bested by R IS FOR REPUGNANT in a 2 minute Challenge Title fight.
LUNA TYCK was viciously subdued by MOD COD in a exciting 1 minute Challenge duel.
KRAMER was subdued by EXILE in a action packed 1 minute Challenge fight.
NUTCRACKER devastated ZLATINA ANGUELOVA in a 2 minute one-sided Challenge contest.
AGLIBOL savagely defeated OBSESSED AVENGER in a 4 minute Challenge competition.
SPATHA was luckily beaten by TENACIOUS in a exciting 5 minute Challenge struggle.
QUEEN AMAZONIA was handily defeated by CROOKED HOOF in a 1 minute Challenge fight.
WRETCHEDMISERY vanquished PINE LEAF in a popular 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
DEMONICHELLION vanquished KONGOL in a exciting 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
CEER was handily defeated by TICKLES in a exciting 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
SOUL SCOURGE was subdued by HELLACIOUS in a 3 minute Challenge competition.
MISCHIEVOUS IMP luckily beat MOOSE in a crowd pleasing 3 minute Challenge match.
KALIDOR THE BOLD was overpowered by HALLIE O'DENE in a 2 minute mismatched conflict.
REDEMPTION viciously subdued FEALOST in a crowd pleasing 2 minute gruesome bout.
BRANFORD HAWKE was overcome by RAUNI in a crowd pleasing 3 minute bout.
BECKY was bested by JOHN LONGSHORE in a 2 minute brawl.
HELM HAMMERHAND savagely defeated BUCK in a exciting 3 minute brutal bout.
CAT IN THE HAT overpowered HUMMINGBIRD in a 1 minute one-sided match.
AEDON unbelievably bested HEBEE in a crowd pleasing 4 minute gory competition.
BRIARTHORN was defeated by DUMPWEED in a 2 minute duel.
KOOKABURRA demolished GAR & BRILL in a action packed 1 minute uneven bout.
FLABBY-O handily defeated FAST-FINGERS FRED in a exciting 1 minute one-sided contest.
BROKEN TOE was slain by REDDI WHIP in a 2 minute fight.
MOUNTAIN GOAT was vanquished by LINI DAWNWIND in a 1 minute one-sided match.
YOU'VE GOT SEATTLE defeated B&G BOUNCER in a 1 minute bout.
MANI savagely defeated HARLEY THE CADAVER in a exciting 5 minute gruesome melee.
FAT BACK handily defeated BRICK WALL in a 2 minute brutal uneven bout.
PORK ROLL overcame HERMY in a exciting 1 minute duel.
BATTLE REPORT
MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS
|FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT|
|AIMED BLOW 9 STRIKING ATTACK 49 - 38 - 0 56 |
|LUNGING ATTACK 9 SLASHING ATTACK 21 - 17 - 0 55 |
|STRIKING ATTACK 8 LUNGING ATTACK 49 - 42 - 0 54 |
|WALL OF STEEL 7 AIMED BLOW 45 - 40 - 2 53 |
|TOTAL PARRY 6 BASHING ATTACK 26 - 24 - 0 52 |
|BASHING ATTACK 5 PARRY-RIPOSTE 10 - 10 - 0 50 |
|SLASHING ATTACK 4 WALL OF STEEL 32 - 42 - 1 43 |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE 2 TOTAL PARRY 24 - 33 - 0 42 |
|PARRY-LUNGE 2 PARRY-LUNGE 7 - 10 - 0 41 |
|PARRY-STRIKE 1 PARRY-STRIKE 2 - 9 - 0 18 |
Turn 438 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are:
PARRY-RIPOSTE 2 - 0 STRIKING ATTACK 3 - 5 4 AIMED BLOW
SLASHING ATTACK 3 - 1 WALL OF STEEL 2 - 5 3 LUNGING ATTACK
AIMED BLOW 6 - 3 PARRY-STRIKE 0 - 1 2 PARRY-RIPOSTE
BASHING ATTACK 3 - 2 1 STRIKING ATTACK
LUNGING ATTACK 5 - 4 1 PARRY-STRIKE
PARRY-LUNGE 1 - 1
TOTAL PARRY 3 - 3
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE
FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME
AIMED BLOW R IS FOR REPUGNAN 99-1155 38 16 5 333 GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME (1306)
STRIKING ATTACK REDEMPTION 4-4868 45 30 2 272 BLADES OF MIST (780)
LUNGING ATTACK EXILE 7-4618 41 37 1 222 BLADES OF ICE (162)
PARRY-RIPOSTE JOHN LONGSHORE 11-4197 41 49 0 208 TUFT TUGGERS (557)
FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME
PARRY-STRIKE OBSESSED AVENGER 15-2162 46 51 1 197 DRAKE'S BAR-B-Q (313)
WALL OF STEEL ZLATINA ANGUELOVA 11-4856 45 40 1 194 TUFT TUGGERS (557)
SLASHING ATTACK CROOKED HOOF 56-3493 45 36 0 192 REDHORSE (1325)
PARRY-LUNGE LUNA TYCK 33-5761 38 41 1 184 DRAKE'S PETTING ZOO (1075)
TOTAL PARRY TENACIOUS 7-5337 45 21 1 179 BATHTUB ARMADA (1196)
BASHING ATTACK QUEEN AMAZONIA 12-4796 46 63 1 169 DARKMOON (1197)
The overall popularity leader is MOD COD 55-2638. The most popular warrior this turn
was MANI 31-5102. The ten other most popular fighters were HELLACIOUS 1-7541, MOOSE
56-3459, HELM HAMMERHAND 31-5025, AGLIBOL 12-5848, HEBEE 38-4359, HARLEY THE CADAVER
18-5366, SPATHA 31-4996, RAUNI 31-5035, OBSESSED AVENGER 15-2162, and WRETCHEDMISERY
33-7255.
The least popular fighter this week was HUMMINGBIRD 56-3475. The other ten least
popular fighters were BRICK WALL 1-7478, MOUNTAIN GOAT 56-3700, BRIARTHORN 12-5671,
FEALOST 1-3916, CEER 96-1537, TENACIOUS 7-5337, ZLATINA ANGUELOVA 11-4856, KRAMER
47-5191, LUNA TYCK 33-5761, and YOU'VE GOT SEATTLE 82-31563.
Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K
MORDANT(1) 2 3 0 TALCAMA(18) 0 1 0 ROCANIS(56) 1 4 0
JHELUM(4) 1 0 0 ZORPUNT(24) 1 1 0 DELARQ TOR(58) 1 0 0
BONSUR(7) 3 1 0 CHIMLEVTAL(31) 3 1 0 ILLIS(59) 0 1 0
ZUKAL(9) 1 0 0 NIATOLI ISLAND(33) 3 1 0 DWES EG(82) 3 1 0
ARUAK CITY(11) 2 3 0 CLIFFHOME(38) 1 2 0 OLD VALAMANTIS(96) 1 1 0
RIZTAB(12) 1 2 0 NORTH FORK(47) 0 1 0 SHADOW GROVE(97) 2 0 1
MALCORN(15) 0 1 0 KHALANI(55) 1 0 0 SOUTH RIDGE(99) 1 0 0
ALJAFIR(17) 0 1 0
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
FEALOST 1-3916 58 83 1 189 MOSSRUNNERS (928) MORDANT
REDEMPTION 4-4868 45 30 2 272 BLADES OF MIST (780) JHELUM
EXILE 7-4618 41 37 1 222 BLADES OF ICE (162) BONSUR
TICKLES 9-3486 69 99 1 143 MY PETS (554) ZUKAL
JOHN LONGSHORE 11-4197 41 49 0 208 TUFT TUGGERS (557) ARUAK CITY
AGLIBOL 12-5848 36 25 1 204 DARKMOON (1197) RIZTAB
OBSESSED AVENGER 15-2162 46 51 1 197 DRAKE'S BAR-B-Q (313) MALCORN
BECKY 17-5782 32 18 3 189 BLADES OF STEEL (1068) ALJAFIR
HARLEY THE CADAVER 18-5366 19 29 3 71 STREET PIZZA (173) TALCAMA
CAT IN THE HAT 24-3103 33 13 1 171 THE SEUSS HEUSS (804) ZORPUNT
RAUNI 31-5035 34 20 0 199 SOL INVICTUS (1355) CHIMLEVTAL
LUNA TYCK 33-5761 38 41 1 184 DRAKE'S PETTING ZOO (1075) NIATOLI ISLAND
NUTCRACKER 38-4380 43 28 2 217 ALL FINESSE (1236) CLIFFHOME
KRAMER 47-5191 23 16 0 190 SECOND BANANAS (1363) NORTH FORK
MOD COD 55-2638 82 107 3 197 RHYME TYME (449) KHALANI
CROOKED HOOF 56-3493 45 36 0 192 REDHORSE (1325) ROCANIS
HALLIE O'DENE 58-6018 76 98 0 219 CIRQUE DU MASQUES (1093) DELARQ TOR
SOUL SCOURGE 59-2589 26 8 0 137 VILE REAVERS (1370) ILLIS
SEX CAMEL 82-25548 27 27 4 202 SWEET NOTHINGS (1366) DWES EG
CEER 96-1537 15 13 4 112 THE BLOODGUARD 2 (1369) OLD VALAMANTIS
REDDI WHIP 97-1636 15 13 7 85 KILLING ME SOFTER (1368) SHADOW GROVE
R IS FOR REPUGNANT 99-1155 38 16 5 333 GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME (1306) SOUTH RIDGE