AD

Date   : 10/18/2006    Duedate: 10/31/2006

HOME GUARD

DM-101    TURN-439

RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %  RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %
  1 TUFT TUGGERS 11/557   386  258  4 59.9      PERFECTION QUEST 13 13/1389           
    REALMS TUFTS 71/1344                      6 SUPERIOR FOR 82/1385  230  222  1 50.9
  2-RONIN 51/1376          21   16  0 56.8    7 DRAKE'S BAR-B 15/313  166  183  5 47.6
    POSSE 77/1362                               DRAKE'S PETTING ZOO 33/1075           
    POSSE 65/1388                             8 LORDS OF VAL 31/1208   40   44  0 47.6
  3 STREET PIZZA 18/173   406  326  3 55.5    9 DARKMOON 12/1197      143  161  1 47.0
    GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME 99/1306                  VILE REAVERS 59/1370                  
    STREET PIZZAD XXII 82/1386                  CHAOTICDISORDER 33/1353               
    KILLING ME SOFTER 97/1368                   SOL INVICTUS 31/1355                  
    KILLING ME SOFTLY 96/1367                10 JUST BECAUSE 38/1228  436  581  9 42.9
    IT'S THE SAME MOVIE! 82/1382             11 MY PETS 9/554         557  832 15 40.1
  4 BLADES OF ICE 7/162   414  341  8 54.8      RHYME TYME 55/449                     
    BLADES OF MIST 4/780                        THE SEUSS HEUSS 24/804                
    BLADES OF STEEL 17/1068                     GIRL SCOUT COOKIES 33/812             
  5 ALL FINESSE 38/1236   227  194  2 53.9   12 REDHORSE 56/1325      268  406  1 39.8
    SWEET NOTHINGS 82/1366                      MOSSRUNNERS 1/928                     
    MANNEQUIN'S BEST 1/1227                  13 KRILL CAVALR 24/1364  528  880  6 37.5
    SWEORDMASTERS 1/1210                        CIRQUE DU MASQUES 58/1093             
    BATHTUB ARMADA 7/1196                       HOMICIDAL MANIACS 1/1082              
    SECOND BANANAS 47/1363                      KRILL CAVALRY 11/1358                 
    THE BLOODGUARD 2 96/1369              

    '##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id     '-'  Team did not fight this turn

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

     This is ridiculous!  Free Blades with more fights!  They've even got more fights 
than Darkholm and Andorak!  More fights than Crysalis!  We should consider ourselves 
insulted by, well, nearly everyone.  Those managers who prefer to dance to Debby 
Tonte's tune, for sure.  It's an outrage!
     Of course, it does make writing the spy report for Home Guard a little faster 
than it might have been otherwise.  I suppose that is something, but it sure isn't 
something satisfying.

     Well, what we've got to work with.  Hmm.  Tuft Tuggers avoided Bathtub Armada.  
Somebody else was avoiding people, too, but I didn't feel like working out the 
details.
     If challenges were horses, FEALOST could open up a fast food joint!  Just what 
you'd expect from an associate of caravan raiders.  Do not eat at this man's house.
     Twenty-eight fights, two standbys.  Not BAD, exactly, but they had FORTY some in 
Free Blades!  Why can't WE do this?  Ten challenges, none of them TV.  Dare I hope 
for some TV challenges after the tourney?  Which is coming right up.  No deaths.  Not 
that it matters here.

     FAT BACK (96-1610) (13-15-4,87) of KILLING ME SOFTLY fought HERMY (101-4) (0-0-
0,50) of the Louts Local 101.  FAT BACK beat HERMY in a popular 6 minute gory match.  
Except that this means Hermy will be an absolute, er, prickly person to deal with 
this evening--I have a standing date of sorts with her for dinner after the fights--
who cares?
     LINI DAWNWIND (11-5865) (23-25-1,68) of KRILL CAVALRY fought YOU'VE GOT SEATTLE 
(82-31563) (17-16-1,32) of IT'S THE SAME MOVIE!.  LINI DAWNWIND vanquished YOU'VE GOT 
SEATTLE in a 1 minute one-sided fray.  Does this mean Lini now has seattle?  And what 
will she do with it?  What is seattle, anyway?  It sounds like some variant on peanut 
brittle.
     DRANDUS DE'VIR (71-4909) (21-13-0,87) of REALMS TUFTS fought REDDI WHIP (97-
1636) (15-13-7,85) of KILLING ME SOFTER.  DRANDUS DE'VIR lost to REDDI WHIP in a 
popular 4 minute gory bout.  It says here the match was popular.  You know what that 
means!  It's a none-too-subtle comment on the proclivities of our local population, 
and you'd have to call said proclivities just a little... perverse, wouldn't you?
     MOUNTAIN GOAT (56-3700) (40-57-3,46) of REDHORSE fought PORK ROLL (97-1634) (12-
16-5,54) of KILLING ME SOFTER.  MOUNTAIN GOAT was narrowly defeated by PORK ROLL in 
an exciting 2 minute bloody fray.  The old Goat just couldn't handle grease, I see.  
Better watch those arteries, Goat!
     BROKEN TOE (56-3683) (38-63-1,59) of REDHORSE fought HARLEY THE CADAVER (18-
5366) (19-29-3,71) of STREET PIZZA.  BROKEN TOE overpowered HARLEY THE CADAVER in a 1 
minute uneven duel.  I call this unfair.  Dead people shouldn't have to fight live 
people.  No wonder the match was uneven!
     MOOSE (56-3459) (30-44-0,93) of REDHORSE fought BRICK WALL (1-7478) (34-33-0,64) 
of HOMICIDAL MANIACS.  MOOSE savagely defeated BRICK WALL in an exciting 2 minute 
gruesome bout.  And do you think Moose is going to help sift brick chips out of the 
sands?  No, of course not.  But will Moose complain if, next time he gets knocked 
down, he cuts himself on brick chips?  Guess, eh?  And brick chips can be very sharp.  
Mark that.  Do not fall on them, and especially do not fall and SKID on them.

     DUMPWEED (82-13924) (23-2-0,140) of SUPERIOR FORCES B105 fought WRETCHEDMISERY 
(33-7255) (29-18-0,132) of CHAOTICDISORDER.  DUMPWEED vanquished WRETCHEDMISERY in an 
action packed 1 minute one-sided match.  At last, Wretchedmisery experiences once 
again the desired condition of misery and wretchedness.  The pain, the shame.  The 
cuts due to falling on brick chips.
     PINE LEAF (24-4580) (30-36-0,111) of KRILL CAVALRY fought KOOKABURRA (33-4151) 
(72-104-4,148) of GIRL SCOUT COOKIES.  PINE LEAF was devastated by KOOKABURRA in a 
popular 1 minute gory one-sided bout.  That'll teach her to eat cookies before 
dinner.  Spoils your appetite every time.  My momma said that.  She was very strongly 
against eating dessert first, except for chocolate, which said isn't really dessert, 
it's more like vitamins.
     TICKLES (9-3486) (69-99-1,143) of MY PETS fought SOUL SCOURGE (59-2589) (26-8-
0,137) of VILE REAVERS.  TICKLES was demolished by SOUL SCOURGE in an action packed 3 
minute uneven bout.  Probably through the use of the tactic, Incongruity.  Many 
people don't know about this one, it's actually more of a literary tactic, but 
sometimes it can really mess up a normal-looking fight.
     KONGOL (7-4524) (44-43-2,140) of BLADES OF ICE fought BRIARTHORN (12-5671) (37-
32-1,130) of DARKMOON.  KONGOL devastated BRIARTHORN in an action packed 1 minute 
one-sided bout.  Somehow it just seems that Kongol should be a Mongol.  It would make 
such a great song.
     AEDON (7-4295) (47-44-1,127) of BLADES OF ICE fought HUMMINGBIRD (56-3475) (38-
48-0,121) of REDHORSE.  AEDON was savagely defeated by HUMMINGBIRD in a crowd 
pleasing 2 minute bloody fight.  Oops!  But not to worry, Aedon, I'm sure you'll 
straighten up again.  And Hummingbird isn't likely to notice and write you a scornful 
or boasting personal about it, so you're safe there, too.
     DEMONICHELLION (33-7038) (28-21-2,160) of CHAOTICDISORDER fought BUCK (1-2291) 
(54-116-0,150) of MOSSRUNNERS.  DEMONICHELLION was beaten by BUCK in an exciting 3 
minute brutal match.  Somehow, I didn't think Buck had it in him.  But I guess all 
that experience is good for something in the end.

     ZLATINA ANGUELOVA (11-4856) (45-40-1,194) of TUFT TUGGERS fought SPATHA (31-
4996) (36-27-2,168) of SOL INVICTUS.  ZLATINA ANGUELOVA viciously subdued SPATHA in a 
crowd pleasing 4 minute gory brawl.  What can I say about this one?  If I step over 
the line of couth, Zlatina will hit me.  I hate it when she does that.  Could I, 
safely, comment that it surely took her a long time to beat this poor, helpless 
Spatha?  What were you doing out there, trading recipes?
     AGLIBOL (12-5848) (36-25-1,204) of DARKMOON fought HELM HAMMERHAND (31-5025) 
(37-24-0,174) of LORDS OF VALHALLA.  AGLIBOL overcame HELM HAMMERHAND in a 2 minute 
bout.   Hammerhand... that's a fist technique, right?  One of those kung-fu things.  
I never trusted them.  Give me a sword and I'm a lot more confident.
     RAUNI (31-5035) (34-20-0,199) of SOL INVICTUS fought BATTLING BOB (101-26) (0-0-
0,200) of the Louts Local 101.  RAUNI was vanquished by BATTLING BOB in an action 
packed 1 minute mismatched bout.  Ah, and now *I* will have to face Battling Bob, 
probably.  He dates Hermy sometimes, you know, and he gets so territorial.  Tedious 
of him.  But she still likes to go out with him, because he dances.  I do not dance.  
I leave that for the young and living.  Not my thing at all.
     OBSESSED AVENGER (15-2162) (46-51-1,197) of DRAKE'S BAR-B-Q fought CAT IN THE 
HAT (24-3103) (33-13-1,171) of THE SEUSS HEUSS.  OBSESSED AVENGER was overpowered by 
CAT IN THE HAT in a 1 minute mismatched conflict.  Oooo, I'm looking FORWARD to 
hearing the Avenger's take on this one!  We all know that cats are anarchists, of 
course, but what nefarious thoughts are concealed by that HAT?
     EXILE (7-4618) (41-37-1,222) of BLADES OF ICE fought JOHN LONGSHORE (11-4197) 
(41-49-0,208) of TUFT TUGGERS.  EXILE was devastated by JOHN LONGSHORE in a 2 minute 
bloody one-sided battle.  And does this mean that Exile must now leave town?  Or 
merely must serve as a sample-bearer when Our Geologist is working in the field?  I'm 
not sure I wouldn't rather leave town, if the choice was mine.
     REDEMPTION (4-4868) (45-30-2,272) of BLADES OF MIST fought KRAMER (47-5191) (23-
16-0,190) of SECOND BANANAS.  REDEMPTION subdued KRAMER in a crowd pleasing 3 minute 
competition.  And what has Kramer repented?  Trying to upstage the first banana?  
Hiding a tarantula?  What?  Tell all!

     The challenges:
     MANI (31-5102) (21-22-4,89) of SOL INVICTUS challenged HEBEE (38-4359) (22-18-
0,100) of ALL FINESSE.  Up 11.  MANI was overpowered by HEBEE in a 1 minute one-sided 
Challenge fight.  The verdict here?  Mani has nerve, but nerve alone is not enough 
for a gladiator.
     MISCHIEVOUS IMP (1-7627) (26-7-3,96) of SWEORDMASTERS challenged GAR & BRILL 
(38-4252) (46-70-0,116) of JUST BECAUSE.  Up 20.  MISCHIEVOUS IMP was overpowered by 
GAR & BRILL in a 2 minute Challenge fight.  Imp-kebabs for all.  But watch out for 
the little bones, they're worse than fish.
     CEER (96-1537) (15-13-4,112) of THE BLOODGUARD 2 challenged FLABBY-O (82-30720) 
(9-1-1,127) of STREET PIZZAD XXII.  Up 15.  CEER overpowered FLABBY-O in a 1 minute 
uneven Challenge duel.  It was, if you will permit me to say so in a possibly-family 
publication, gross as all get-out to watch.  The way Flabby-o shuddered and swayed 
with every blow!  It's enough to make you seasick just watching.
     TENACIOUS (7-5337) (45-21-1,179) of BATHTUB ARMADA challenged MOD COD (55-2638) 
(82-107-3,197) of RHYME TYME.  Up 18.  TENACIOUS unbelievably bested MOD COD in an 
action packed 2 minute Challenge duel.  And why is this hard to believe?  How do you 
think Tenacious got that winning record, or the Cod that losing one?
     HELLACIOUS (1-7541) (27-6-1,163) of MANNEQUIN'S BEST challenged QUEEN AMAZONIA 
(12-4796) (46-63-1,169) of DARKMOON.  Up 6.  HELLACIOUS handily defeated QUEEN 
AMAZONIA in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.  Queen claims that her opponent was, 
indeed, truly hellacious.  So does this mean hell has been leaking?

     KALIDOR THE BOLD (11-6441) (32-10-0,185) of TUFT TUGGERS challenged FEALOST (1-
3916) (58-83-1,189) of MOSSRUNNERS.  Up 4.  KALIDOR THE BOLD was vanquished by 
FEALOST in a 2 minute mismatched Challenge fight.  Kalidor, make sure you don't get 
pressed into duty as a waiter in Fealost's fast food joint.  I have a feeling this 
could be the Fast Food from Hell.
     LUNA TYCK (33-5761) (38-41-1,184) of DRAKE'S PETTING ZOO challenged BECKY (17-
5782) (32-18-3,189) of BLADES OF STEEL.  Up 5.  LUNA TYCK was subdued by BECKY in a 2 
minute bloody Challenge competition.  Very messy.  I don't want to think about it.
     SEX CAMEL (82-25548) (27-27-4,202) of SWEET NOTHINGS challenged HALLIE O'DENE 
(58-6018) (76-98-0,219) of CIRQUE DU MASQUES.  Up 17.  SEX CAMEL vanquished HALLIE 
O'DENE in a popular 1 minute mismatched Challenge brawl.  Rumor has it (the orderlies 
love to hint) that Hallie made some derogatory and/or threatening comment to Sex 
Camel in the hallway after the fight.
     BRANFORD HAWKE (11-5077) (36-37-0,191) of TUFT TUGGERS challenged CROOKED HOOF 
(56-3493) (45-36-0,192) of REDHORSE.  Up 1.  BRANFORD HAWKE was handily defeated by 
CROOKED HOOF in a 1 minute Challenge match.  They tell me fighting this Hoof guy is 
like trying to hit a curve ball.  Never having tried either, I have to take their 
word for it.

     For the title, a challenge:  NUTCRACKER (38-4380) (43-28-2,217) of ALL FINESSE 
challenged R IS FOR REPUGNANT (99-1155) (38-16-5,333) of GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME.  Up 116, 
I think.  Somewhere in that vicinity.  NUTCRACKER devastated R IS FOR REPUGNANT in a 
2 minute Challenge Title fight.  And our congratulations go to the not-repulsive 
Nutcracker.  Write a column, it might help.  Couldn't hurt, anyway.

                                        Olaf

CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD          W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 NUTCRACKER 38-4380          44  28  2  241  ALL FINESSE (1236)         CLIFFHOME

GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 REDEMPTION 4-4868           46  30  2  281  BLADES OF MIST (780)       JHELUM
 JOHN LONGSHORE 11-4197      42  49  0  221  TUFT TUGGERS (557)         ARUAK CITY
 SEX CAMEL 82-25548          28  27  4  213  SWEET NOTHINGS (1366)      DWES EG
 FEALOST 1-3916              59  83  1  212  MOSSRUNNERS (928)          MORDANT

GRAND CHAMPIONS               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 AGLIBOL 12-5848             37  25  1  210  DARKMOON (1197)            RIZTAB
 CROOKED HOOF 56-3493        46  36  0  202  REDHORSE (1325)            ROCANIS
 ZLATINA ANGUELOVA 11-4856   46  40  1  200  TUFT TUGGERS (557)         ARUAK CITY
 CAT IN THE HAT 24-3103      34  13  1  195  THE SEUSS HEUSS (804)      ZORPUNT
 TENACIOUS 7-5337            46  21  1  194  BATHTUB ARMADA (1196)      BONSUR
 R IS FOR REPUGNANT 99-1155  38  17  5  194  GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME (1306)  SOUTH RIDGE
 BECKY 17-5782               33  18  3  194  BLADES OF STEEL (1068)     ALJAFIR
 KRAMER 47-5191              23  17  0  193  SECOND BANANAS (1363)      NORTH FORK
 MOD COD 55-2638             82 108  3  192  RHYME TYME (449)           KHALANI
-DESPERADO 77-2459           34  18  2  191  POSSE (1362)               MAZGOURRAH
 HALLIE O'DENE 58-6018       76  99  0  190  CIRQUE DU MASQUES (1093)   DELARQ TOR
 EXILE 7-4618                41  38  1  190  BLADES OF ICE (162)        BONSUR
 RAUNI 31-5035               34  21  0  189  SOL INVICTUS (1355)        CHIMLEVTAL
 LUNA TYCK 33-5761           38  42  1  184  DRAKE'S PETTING ZOO (1075) NIATOLI ISLAND
 BRANFORD HAWKE 11-5077      36  38  0  184  TUFT TUGGERS (557)         ARUAK CITY

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 HELM HAMMERHAND 31-5025     37  25  0  180  LORDS OF VALHALLA (1208)   CHIMLEVTAL
 OBSESSED AVENGER 15-2162    46  52  1  179  DRAKE'S BAR-B-Q (313)      MALCORN
 KALIDOR THE BOLD 11-6441    32  11  0  176  TUFT TUGGERS (557)         ARUAK CITY
 HELLACIOUS 1-7541           28   6  1  176  MANNEQUIN'S BEST (1227)    MORDANT
 SPATHA 31-4996              36  28  2  175  SOL INVICTUS (1355)        CHIMLEVTAL
 BUCK 1-2291                 55 116  0  167  MOSSRUNNERS (928)          MORDANT
 QUEEN AMAZONIA 12-4796      46  64  1  162  DARKMOON (1197)            RIZTAB
 DUMPWEED 82-13924           24   2  0  155  SUPERIOR FORCES B105 (1385 DWES EG
-MAD DOC WILLIAMS 77-2432    35  20  0  153  POSSE (1362)               MAZGOURRAH
 DEMONICHELLION 33-7038      28  22  2  153  CHAOTICDISORDER (1353)     NIATOLI ISLAND
 SOUL SCOURGE 59-2589        27   8  0  153  VILE REAVERS (1370)        ILLIS
 KONGOL 7-4524               45  43  2  151  BLADES OF ICE (162)        BONSUR

GRAND ADEPTS                  W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 KOOKABURRA 33-4151          73 104  4  150  GIRL SCOUT COOKIES (812)   NIATOLI ISLAND
 TICKLES 9-3486              69 100  1  138  MY PETS (554)              ZUKAL
 CEER 96-1537                16  13  4  135  THE BLOODGUARD 2 (1369)    OLD VALAMANTIS
 GAR & BRILL 38-4252         47  70  0  134  JUST BECAUSE (1228)        CLIFFHOME
 HUMMINGBIRD 56-3475         39  48  0  134  REDHORSE (1325)            ROCANIS
 WRETCHEDMISERY 33-7255      29  19  0  130  CHAOTICDISORDER (1353)     NIATOLI ISLAND
 BRIARTHORN 12-5671          37  33  1  124  DARKMOON (1197)            RIZTAB
 AEDON 7-4295                47  45  1  119  BLADES OF ICE (162)        BONSUR
 PINE LEAF 24-4580           30  37  0  110  KRILL CAVALRY (1364)       ZORPUNT
 FLABBY-O 82-30720            9   2  1  110  STREET PIZZAD XXII (1386)  DWES EG

GRAND ADEPTS                  W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 HEBEE 38-4359               23  18  0  107  ALL FINESSE (1236)         CLIFFHOME

GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 REDDI WHIP 97-1636          16  13  7   98  KILLING ME SOFTER (1368)   SHADOW GROVE
 MOOSE 56-3459               31  44  0   95  REDHORSE (1325)            ROCANIS
 MISCHIEVOUS IMP 1-7627      26   8  3   91  SWEORDMASTERS (1210)       MORDANT

GRAND INITIATES               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 FAT BACK 96-1610            14  15  4   89  KILLING ME SOFTLY (1367)   OLD VALAMANTIS
 DRANDUS DE'VIR 71-4909      21  14  0   85  REALMS TUFTS (1344)        KYR'TERR
 MANI 31-5102                21  23  4   83  SOL INVICTUS (1355)        CHIMLEVTAL
-PIT FIGHTER 51-4297         20  17  1   80  RONIN (1376)               TRICORUS
-DAIMYO 51-4219              22  12  3   77  RONIN (1376)               TRICORUS
 BROKEN TOE 56-3683          39  63  1   76  REDHORSE (1325)            ROCANIS
 LINI DAWNWIND 11-5865       24  25  1   70  KRILL CAVALRY (1358)       ARUAK CITY
 BRICK WALL 1-7478           34  34  0   66  HOMICIDAL MANIACS (1082)   MORDANT
 PORK ROLL 97-1634           13  16  5   60  KILLING ME SOFTER (1368)   SHADOW GROVE
-UTTERLY LARGE (LU) 13-4845  17   7  0   58  PERFECTION QUEST 13 (1389) DULLENS
 HARLEY THE CADAVER 18-5366  19  30  3   55  STREET PIZZA (173)         TALCAMA
 MOUNTAIN GOAT 56-3700       40  58  3   46  REDHORSE (1325)            ROCANIS
 YOU'VE GOT SEATTL 82-31563  17  17  1   31  IT'S THE SAME MOVIE! (1382 DWES EG

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                    W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY              TURN

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

I'm falling behind on these blasted things... -- Tankesh

Nutcraker -- That's what happens when management doesn't give us guidance.  Aw
CRAP!... All over you! -- Zlatina

Rauni -- And all over you... -- Branford

Hallie O'Dene -- And all over you.  Not usually my style, but I just went with their
theme. -- Kalidor

Beckey -- Looks like I was the fortunate one to win this turn.  Heh, lucky me. --
Longshore

Back to our regularly scheduled duels...

Wretchedmisery -- Oh, and you want MY company?  Well, listen, I don't get miserable
over a loss in the arnea, I just get mad.  Of course, that doesn't do me any more
good than being miserable, but at least it's aerobic. -- Pine Leaf

Kalidor the Bold -- How can it be that I jumped you?  I understand how I WON,
experience has its uses, but getting in the first blow surprised more than a little.
In so far as I could ever say it about a match (I'm a pacifist), good fight. --
Hallie O'Dene

Mountain Goat -- You're a disgusting creature.  About what I would expect from a
caravan raider, though. -- Lini Dawnwind

Fat Back -- I'm not going to give the concept-for-concept channeling of the Brick
Wall's "message" today, because I just don't have the energy for it.  But I think it
was more or less congratulating you on lacking gender, which it regards as confusing,
and being short, which is "more stable," but generally deploring your efforts to
"destroy a product of the Great Architect" (win the fight).  Way it goes, eh? --
Hallie O'Dene, sometime psychic channel for the Brick Wall

Olaf -- Ah, I forgot you were dead.  But the cabrito was very good. -- Lini Dawnwind

25 September 2006
It is obvious that the Dark Knights wish to be shown the light.  Allow me to step
forward and blind them with truth.  YOU ARE WORTHLESS!!!  The Dark Knights are so
afraid of the light that they hide behind their black armor and empty threats.  It is
too bad they are unwilling to actually FIGHT us!  I guess our natural light is too
bright for you all to face!  Fear us, for we are here! -- Gemini Goldphoenix,
Overlord of the Avengers of Light!

5 October 2006
*Turf War IV Rules*

     Everyone may participate; known alliances, new alliances, or temporary alliances
created to compete in the Turf War! However, to participate, each alliance must:
     A.  Announce the alliance and the Captain of the alliance in the North Fork (DM
         47) newsletter.
Captains are responsible for:
     a.  verifying those who wish to participate under the banner of their alliance;
     b.  distribution of prizes should their alliance win the Turf War.
Managers must:
     a.  Submit one (1) RSI Roll-Up Gift Certificate to participate to:
          Baphomet, mgr. Knights Templar (568), DM 47 -- North Fork, or
          Rick Stringer
          13 St. Michael's CT
          Elkton, MD 21921
     b.  Announce their intent to compete with manager name, team name and alliance
         they will be fighting under in the North Fork (DM 47) newsletter.
Rules:
     1.  No scoring will begin until a Gift Cert is received.  No exceptions.
     2.  Before a manager can compete, he/she must declare and be verified by the
         Captain of the alliance he/she has claimed for;
     3.  Only one (1) team per player may compete.  NO multiple aliases please.
         Violations will result in disqualification.
     4.  The contest will begin on the turn following the January F2F and run for 12
         turns.
     5.  The turn  a declaration and verification will begin the scoring process.
     6.  No declarations or verifications will be accepted after Turn 10 of the Turf
         War 5.
     7.  For the purpose of scoring, I reserve the right to make all final decisions.
Scoring:
                  Win     Loss     Kill     Die
Challenge          +2      -2       +5       -5
Match-Up           +1      -1       +1       -5
Bloodfeud          +2      -5       +5      -10
Champion           x2      x2       x2       x2
Downchallenge     -10      xx      -10       xx
Dark Arena        +10      -5       xx       xx
Special Scoring:
     a.  Each mention in the Spy Report is worth 2 points (team mentions only!)
     b.  Each Style Master is worth 2 points.
     c.  Duelmaster Throne is worth 2 points
Champions:
     a.  Champions may be declared, but are not mandatory.  If declared, the Champion
         must be in the Adepts or lower brackets on the turn they are declared
         without having gone above the Adepts bracket at any time...including
         transferred teams.  (I'll be watching for this occurrence!)
Bloodfeuds:
     a.  Bloodfeuds count for all four (4) turns.  However, the same warrior may not
         be used all four turns.  4 turns means 4 separate warriors.  A penalty of
         -10 will be given to the team who violates this.
Special Conditions:
     a.  I reserve the right for all final decisions.
     b.  If I make a mistake, I'll multiply the points by 2.
     c.  If you claim I did, and *YOU* are wrong, I'll subtract points at the rate of
         x10.
     d.  Each alliance begins with zero (0) points.
     e.  Dark Arena may be used on the first turn of every warrior with no penalty
         (this means a warrior with 0 FE).
     f.  TVs won after the contest begins gain a 25 point one time score once the
         tourney reports are posted in the NL.
     g.  TCs won after the contest begins gain a 50 point one time score with the
         same conditions as noted for TVs.
     h.  NO switching alliance once verified by an alliance that a team has declared
         for.
     i.  Only 7 teams are permitted per alliance for the Turf War 5.
PRIZES:
     Turf Wars are a "Winner Takes All" type contest.  All prizes and 100% of the RU
Certs will be given to the Captain of the winning alliance and it is his/her
responsibility to give these to the alliance membership.
     I have requested from RSI the following:
     a.  renaming of the orth Fork (DM 47) arena;
     b.  renaming of Dark Arena Monsters;
     c.  known favourite rhythms for one warrior on each team of the winning
         alliance.  This warrior would be in the Initiates or above brackets on the
         last turn of the Turf War (they must have at least one arena fight to
         receive this award).
               Baphomet, Host of TW5
Special Note:  A downchallenge is considered from a higher bracket to a lower
bracket.  Same bracket, more recognition points?  Not a downchallenge!

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

NUTCRACKER devastated R IS FOR REPUGNANT in a 2 minute Challenge Title fight.
BRANFORD HAWKE was handily defeated by CROOKED HOOF in a 1 minute Challenge match.
SEX CAMEL vanquished HALLIE O'DENE in a popular 1 minute mismatched Challenge brawl.
LUNA TYCK was subdued by BECKY in a 2 minute bloody Challenge competition.
KALIDOR THE BOLD was vanquished by FEALOST in a 2 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
HELLACIOUS handily defeated QUEEN AMAZONIA in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
TENACIOUS unbelievably bested MOD COD in a action packed 2 minute Challenge duel.
CEER overpowered FLABBY-O in a 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
MISCHIEVOUS IMP was overpowered by GAR & BRILL in a 2 minute Challenge fight.
MANI was overpowered by HEBEE in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
REDEMPTION subdued KRAMER in a crowd pleasing 3 minute competition.
EXILE was devastated by JOHN LONGSHORE in a 2 minute bloody one-sided battle.
OBSESSED AVENGER was overpowered by CAT IN THE HAT in a 1 minute mismatched conflict.
RAUNI was vanquished by BATTLING BOB in a action packed 1 minute mismatched bout.
AGLIBOL overcame HELM HAMMERHAND in a 2 minute bout.
ZLATINA ANGUELOVA viciously subdued SPATHA in a crowd pleasing 4 minute gory brawl.
DEMONICHELLION was beaten by BUCK in a exciting 3 minute brutal match.
AEDON was savagely defeated by HUMMINGBIRD in a crowd pleasing 2 minute bloody fight.
KONGOL devastated BRIARTHORN in a action packed 1 minute one-sided bout.
TICKLES was demolished by SOUL SCOURGE in a action packed 3 minute uneven bout.
PINE LEAF was devastated by KOOKABURRA in a popular 1 minute gory one-sided bout.
DUMPWEED vanquished WRETCHEDMISERY in a action packed 1 minute one-sided match.
MOOSE savagely defeated BRICK WALL in a exciting 2 minute gruesome bout.
BROKEN TOE overpowered HARLEY THE CADAVER in a 1 minute uneven duel.
MOUNTAIN GOAT was narrowly defeated by PORK ROLL in a exciting 2 minute bloody fray.
DRANDUS DE'VIR lost to REDDI WHIP in a popular 4 minute gory bout.
LINI DAWNWIND vanquished YOU'VE GOT SEATTLE in a 1 minute one-sided fray.
FAT BACK beat HERMY in a popular 6 minute gory match.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  10         STRIKING ATTACK   52 -  35 -  0      60  |
|AIMED BLOW                       9         SLASHING ATTACK   21 -  17 -  0      55  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  8         LUNGING ATTACK    50 -  42 -  0      54  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    7         PARRY-RIPOSTE     10 -  10 -  0      50  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      6         AIMED BLOW        43 -  43 -  2      50  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   5         BASHING ATTACK    25 -  25 -  0      50  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  4         PARRY-LUNGE        8 -  10 -  0      44  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      2         WALL OF STEEL     32 -  42 -  1      43  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         TOTAL PARRY       24 -  33 -  0      42  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         PARRY-STRIKE       2 -   9 -  0      18  |

Turn 439 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

STRIKING ATTACK    7 -  1     WALL OF STEEL      3 -  4         3  AIMED BLOW     
PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  1     BASHING ATTACK     2 -  3         3  STRIKING ATTACK
PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  1     AIMED BLOW         3 -  6         1  PARRY-RIPOSTE  
LUNGING ATTACK     5 -  5     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  1         1  LUNGING ATTACK 
SLASHING ATTACK    2 -  2                                       1  SLASHING ATTACK
TOTAL PARRY        3 -  3                                       1  WALL OF STEEL  
                                                                1  TOTAL PARRY    

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
AIMED BLOW       NUTCRACKER 38-4380         44  28  2  241 ALL FINESSE (1236)
STRIKING ATTACK  REDEMPTION 4-4868          46  30  2  281 BLADES OF MIST (780)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    JOHN LONGSHORE 11-4197     42  49  0  221 TUFT TUGGERS (557)
LUNGING ATTACK   SEX CAMEL 82-25548         28  27  4  213 SWEET NOTHINGS (1366)
SLASHING ATTACK  CROOKED HOOF 56-3493       46  36  0  202 REDHORSE (1325)
WALL OF STEEL    ZLATINA ANGUELOVA 11-4856  46  40  1  200 TUFT TUGGERS (557)
TOTAL PARRY      TENACIOUS 7-5337           46  21  1  194 BATHTUB ARMADA (1196)
PARRY-LUNGE      LUNA TYCK 33-5761          38  42  1  184 DRAKE'S PETTING ZOO (1075)
PARRY-STRIKE     OBSESSED AVENGER 15-2162   46  52  1  179 DRAKE'S BAR-B-Q (313)
BASHING ATTACK   QUEEN AMAZONIA 12-4796     46  64  1  162 DARKMOON (1197)

The overall popularity leader is MOD COD 55-2638.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was DRANDUS DE'VIR 71-4909.  The ten other most popular fighters were MOOSE 56-3459, 
FAT BACK 96-1610, REDEMPTION 4-4868, ZLATINA ANGUELOVA 11-4856, HUMMINGBIRD 56-3475, 
TICKLES 9-3486, NUTCRACKER 38-4380, REDDI WHIP 97-1636, FEALOST 1-3916, and SOUL 
SCOURGE 59-2589.

The least popular fighter this week was YOU'VE GOT SEATTLE 82-31563.  The other ten 
least popular fighters were HARLEY THE CADAVER 18-5366, MANI 31-5102, FLABBY-O 
82-30720, BRANFORD HAWKE 11-5077, BRICK WALL 1-7478, WRETCHEDMISERY 33-7255, RAUNI 
31-5035, OBSESSED AVENGER 15-2162, EXILE 7-4618, and MISCHIEVOUS IMP 1-7627.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
MORDANT(1)           3  2 0  TALCAMA(18)          0  1 0  DELARQ TOR(58)       0  1 0  
JHELUM(4)            1  0 0  ZORPUNT(24)          1  1 0  ILLIS(59)            1  0 0  
BONSUR(7)            2  2 0  CHIMLEVTAL(31)       0  4 0  KYR'TERR(71)         0  1 0  
ZUKAL(9)             0  1 0  NIATOLI ISLAND(33)   1  3 0  DWES EG(82)          2  2 0  
ARUAK CITY(11)       3  2 0  CLIFFHOME(38)        3  0 0  OLD VALAMANTIS(96)   2  0 0  
RIZTAB(12)           1  2 0  NORTH FORK(47)       0  1 0  SHADOW GROVE(97)     2  0 0  
MALCORN(15)          0  1 0  KHALANI(55)          0  1 0  SOUTH RIDGE(99)      0  1 0  
ALJAFIR(17)          1  0 0  ROCANIS(56)          4  1 0  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 FEALOST 1-3916              59  83  1  212  MOSSRUNNERS (928)          MORDANT

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 REDEMPTION 4-4868           46  30  2  281  BLADES OF MIST (780)       JHELUM
 TENACIOUS 7-5337            46  21  1  194  BATHTUB ARMADA (1196)      BONSUR
 TICKLES 9-3486              69 100  1  138  MY PETS (554)              ZUKAL
 JOHN LONGSHORE 11-4197      42  49  0  221  TUFT TUGGERS (557)         ARUAK CITY
 AGLIBOL 12-5848             37  25  1  210  DARKMOON (1197)            RIZTAB
 OBSESSED AVENGER 15-2162    46  52  1  179  DRAKE'S BAR-B-Q (313)      MALCORN
 BECKY 17-5782               33  18  3  194  BLADES OF STEEL (1068)     ALJAFIR
 HARLEY THE CADAVER 18-5366  19  30  3   55  STREET PIZZA (173)         TALCAMA
 CAT IN THE HAT 24-3103      34  13  1  195  THE SEUSS HEUSS (804)      ZORPUNT
 RAUNI 31-5035               34  21  0  189  SOL INVICTUS (1355)        CHIMLEVTAL
 LUNA TYCK 33-5761           38  42  1  184  DRAKE'S PETTING ZOO (1075) NIATOLI ISLAND
 NUTCRACKER 38-4380          44  28  2  241  ALL FINESSE (1236)         CLIFFHOME
 KRAMER 47-5191              23  17  0  193  SECOND BANANAS (1363)      NORTH FORK
 MOD COD 55-2638             82 108  3  192  RHYME TYME (449)           KHALANI
 CROOKED HOOF 56-3493        46  36  0  202  REDHORSE (1325)            ROCANIS
 HALLIE O'DENE 58-6018       76  99  0  190  CIRQUE DU MASQUES (1093)   DELARQ TOR
 SOUL SCOURGE 59-2589        27   8  0  153  VILE REAVERS (1370)        ILLIS
 DRANDUS DE'VIR 71-4909      21  14  0   85  REALMS TUFTS (1344)        KYR'TERR
 SEX CAMEL 82-25548          28  27  4  213  SWEET NOTHINGS (1366)      DWES EG
 CEER 96-1537                16  13  4  135  THE BLOODGUARD 2 (1369)    OLD VALAMANTIS
 REDDI WHIP 97-1636          16  13  7   98  KILLING ME SOFTER (1368)   SHADOW GROVE
 R IS FOR REPUGNANT 99-1155  38  17  5  194  GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME (1306)  SOUTH RIDGE