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Date   : 10/17/2007    Duedate: 10/30/2007

HOME GUARD

DM-101    TURN-465

RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %  RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %
  1-POSSE 77/1362          47   38  2 55.3      HANGOVERS 59/1153                     
    VOW TO DESTROY 36/1403                    5 ALL FINESSE 38/1236   277  256  2 52.0
    POSSE 65/1388                               NO RESPECT II 82/1399                 
    BLOODSWORN 15/1402                          BATHTUB ARMADA 7/1196                 
    DEATH PENALTY 33/1404                       SUGAR AND SPICE 7/1231                
  2 STREET PIZZA 18/173   515  418  3 55.2      THE INANIMATES 73/1361                
    KILLING ME SOFTER 97/1368                   THE BLOODGUARD 2 96/1369              
    KILLING ME SOFTLY 96/1367                 6 PUERCO'S PINA 53/700  174  165  2 51.3
    WHY SELL THIS? 96/1390                      GERFEL'S FRIENDS 11/516               
    WHY SELL THIS? 97/1391                      THE FURIOUS FIVE 46/1121              
    BLOODY RANDOMNESS 96/1405                 7 LORDS OF VAL 31/1208   55   60  0 47.8
  3 BLADES OF ICE 7/162   462  387 10 54.4    8 THE STORMGUAR 31/132  143  163  2 46.7
    BLADES OF STEEL 17/1068                   9 JUST BECAUSE 38/1228  447  596  9 42.9
  4 SPARF! 54/1372        900  817 13 52.4   10 RHYME TYME 55/449     605  864 15 41.2
    THE BULLS 73/1144                           GIRL SCOUT COOKIES 33/812             
    CHAPEL ROCK 59/1352                         THE SEUSS HEUSS 24/804                
    OPEN SESAME 50/824                       11 KRILL CAVALR 24/1364  584  941  6 38.3
    SKI TAOS 23/1070                            WHIPPERSNAPPERS 66/1097               
    PARTY ANIMALS 5/591                         HOMICIDAL MANIACS 1/1082              
    OTTO'S PARTS 52/892                         CARDOW HUNTERS 29/1084                
    CHAPEL ROCK 79/776                       12 KLK RANGE HA 42/1408    1    8  0 11.1
    AVID FANS 45/569                         13-MADTOWN 25/1381         0    2  0  0.0
    ROYAL FLUSH 47/146                    

    '##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id     '-'  Team did not fight this turn

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

     Yeah, okay, maybe I shoulda been a little faster off the mark with this spy
report.  But it rained, yesterday, the day before, rain rain rain.  A record fall in
some places, and flash flood warnings, thunderstorms (lightning pigeons don't fly
during thunderstorms), the whole nine yards, or at least a couple of inches.  And,
something you might not realize, being mostly live people, is that us dead guys don't
do so well during wet weather.  Gotta watch out for mildew and the whole fungus crew.
You want to know why I don't eat mushrooms?  (Aside from being dead and not really
eating at all, of course.)  I don't figure those funguses need any encouragement.

     So, anyway, here we are.  Let's see what we've got.  Twenty-two fights (puny),
only one standby (good), eleven challenges (one of them TV).  The longest fight was a
mere six minutes.  Nobody seems to have died (which should keep Ahringol off our
necks).  All Finesse was avoided by Royal Flush, and the comments that juxtaposition
gave rise to in the bars around here were many and, ah, not always polite.  Fat Back
got the most challenges, a suggestion here that lots of people might like to live a
little more softly?  Fat got more challenges than the Captain of the Guard, which was
not difficult, since the C ot G apparently got none.

     So, fights.
     SNIPPER (66-3518) (32-31-0,62) of WHIPPERSNAPPERS fought LAKE SAILOR (101-2) (0-
0-0,30) of the Louts Local 101.  SNIPPER vanquished LAKE SAILOR in a popular 1 minute
brutal mismatched fray.  Thereby retaining (Snipper) his winning record but earning
the enmity of the Lake Sailors' Union.  Don't go out on the water, Snip, they're
nasty folks and might just... THROW YOU IN.  Although in truth the hostily should 
more properly be aimed at the handicapper who set up the match.  Herv Threepstone,
that would be, and the source of his bias against the Lake Sailors' Union is not hard
to find.  Well, you know where Herv's family's interests lie!
     BLOODY BRAINLESS (96-2206) (9-11-3,20) of BLOODY RANDOMNESS fought LADYBUG (29-
4709) (26-23-1,72) of CARDOW HUNTERS.  BLOODY BRAINLESS demolished LADYBUG in a 1
minute uneven bout.  Which just goes to show you that gladiators don't need, and in
fact do better without, brains.  Or pretensions of lady-hood.
     SCRAPPLE (97-1961) (14-17-3,71) of WHY SELL THIS? fought JOHN WAYNE HAMMER (42-
4213) (16-22-2,52) of KLK RANGE HAMMERZ.  SCRAPPLE defeated JOHN WAYNE HAMMER in a 1
minute duel.  We can, perhaps, understand JW's problems when you remember that he is
accustomed to leading with his chin, not rolling with punches, and generally doing
everything the hard way.  Or maybe the Hammer also annoyed the handicapper, who can
say.
     SUGARBEET (7-5219) (31-31-1,91) of SUGAR AND SPICE fought BRICK WALL (1-7478)
(44-49-0,65) of HOMICIDAL MANIACS.  SUGARBEET viciously subdued BRICK WALL in a crowd
pleasing 2 minute gory competition.  In intriguing issue here:  Do brick walls have
teeth, which can be damaged by an excess of sugars?  Apparently so, and no delay,
either.  Or maybe that was the Wall's tuckpointing that was falling out.
     BECKY (17-5782) (46-30-5,135) of BLADES OF STEEL fought PUMPING ON STEELE (82-
33221) (17-14-0,102) of NO RESPECT II.  BECKY overpowered PUMPING ON STEELE in a 2
minute one-sided match.  Steel meets Steele, and, as noted in the team name, there
was no respect to be seen anywhere in the vicinity.  Plenty of blades, though.

     PINE LEAF (24-4580) (42-50-0,149) of KRILL CAVALRY fought GAR & BRILL (38-4252)
(58-84-0,129) of JUST BECAUSE.  PINE LEAF narrowly defeated GAR & BRILL in a 2 minute
bout.  This looks bad.  Sure, Pine Leaf is slim, aka narrow, but she should've won
that fight with a broad margin.  What's going on, eh?  Some people say it's because
of the Moon being in Orion this week, but that's nonsense.  The Moon in Orion is GOOD
news.  But the conjunction of Mars with the Dog Star is another matter.  Take note!
This could affect YOU!
     BLOOD PIE (96-1918) (15-16-5,112) of WHY SELL THIS? fought HUNZICKER BOWL (23-
4182) (36-18-1,149) of SKI TAOS.  BLOOD PIE bested HUNZICKER BOWL in a popular 2
minute brutal brawl.  The fight was brutal, the sands were bloody, but the
maintenance crew tells me that the real problem came when they tried to wash out the
Bowl.  Talk about your baked-on stains!
     PORK ROLL (97-1634) (30-24-5,178) of KILLING ME SOFTER fought KONGOL (7-4524)
(56-57-2,138) of BLADES OF ICE.  PORK ROLL was handily defeated by KONGOL in a 1
minute mismatched bout.  All kitchen hands take note of this:  the way to slice a
pork roll is with a very cold knife.
     A GROUNDSKEEPER (45-1613) (32-26-1,164) of AVID FANS fought BLACK EYES (46-2820)
(24-19-0,121) of THE FURIOUS FIVE.  A GROUNDSKEEPER was overpowered by BLACK EYES in
a 1 minute uneven struggle.  And I suppose this means more litter on the grounds, eh?
But it seems a bit "much" to have upended the Groundskeeper into one of his own trash
barrels.  Insult to injury.
     POPE PAUL II (79-1317) (31-25-0,197) of CHAPEL ROCK fought UNZOE THE SHAMAN (31-
4940) (23-10-0,172) of THE STORMGUARDS.  POPE PAUL II was viciously subdued by UNZOE
THE SHAMAN in a popular 6 minute conflict.  Our longest fight, and clear sign of the
danger of annoying shamans at this critical time of year.  They're busy with serious
stuff, and it makes 'em testy.

     The challenge matches:
     VANISH (73-4633) (18-6-1,81) of THE INANIMATES challenged HARLEY THE CADAVER
(18-5366) (25-49-3,78) of STREET PIZZA.  Down 3.  VANISH bested HARLEY THE CADAVER in
a crowd pleasing 2 minute Challenge conflict.  Does this mean that Harley has
vanished?  No.  But he's become inanimate.  Not to worry, lots of dead people do that
from time to time.  It's restful.
     BULL DURHAM (5-4324) (27-14-0,97) of PARTY ANIMALS challenged THE SINGING BANDIT
(11-6349) (26-34-0,93) of GERFEL'S FRIENDS.  Down 4.  BULL DURHAM slew THE SINGING
BANDIT in an exciting 2 minute Challenge match.  Whoa!  I was mistaken, we have
extinction here, a death on the sands!  I have private information that, though
Ahringol is generally upset at the amount of death going around late, He has no great
problem with this, due to a distaste for "crooners."  Make of it what you will.
     DON KING (47-5374) (21-17-2,109) of ROYAL FLUSH challenged HEAD CHEESE (96-1920)
(22-9-3,156) of WHY SELL THIS?  Up some incredibly reckless amount.  Hmm, 47.  DON
KING overpowered HEAD CHEESE in a 4 minute one-sided Challenge fight.  And what,
after all, can you expect?  This is the HEAD cheese, not any modest little cheese
from the secretarial pool.
     ACE METRIC (47-3554) (21-15-0,142) of ROYAL FLUSH challenged AEDON (7-4295) (59-
58-1,158) of BLADES OF ICE.  Up 16.  ACE METRIC viciously subdued AEDON in an action
packed 3 minute Challenge fight.  That's why they call him "Ace."
     SLIPPERY NIPPLE (59-2323) (27-16-1,176) of HANGOVERS challenged REDDI WHIP (97-
1636) (36-18-7,198) of KILLING ME SOFTER.  Up 22.  SLIPPERY NIPPLE slimly lost to
REDDI WHIP in a 2 minute Challenge duel.  But too much Reddi Whip, and Slippery will
no longer be slim.  This is how it happens.  A little taste, take it or leave it, you
take it... and you want more!  More!  Let's be frank here, the next step is...
Whipping Cream!  The hard (soft) stuff.

     TENACIOUS (7-5337) (58-30-1,202) of BATHTUB ARMADA challenged KOOKABURRA (33-
4151) (88-114-4,211) of GIRL SCOUT COOKIES.  Up a mere 9, but look at that experience
differential.  TENACIOUS was devastated by KOOKABURRA in a 2 minute one-sided
Challenge competition.  Anybody surprised at this?
     TYMARIS RAVENSWOOD (53-5637) (34-37-0,202) of PUERCO'S PINATA challenged HELM
HAMMERHAND (31-5025) (50-37-0,220) of LORDS OF VALHALLA.  Up 18.  TYMARIS RAVENSWOOD
lost to HELM HAMMERHAND in a 3 minute Challenge fight.  A hammer in the hand can be a
fearsome thing, as anyone who hangs out with bashers knows.
     CEER (96-1537) (25-25-4,181) of THE BLOODGUARD 2 challenged STREET RAT (11-3116)
(34-29-2,194) of GERFEL'S FRIENDS.  Up 13.  CEER was overpowered by STREET RAT in a 1
minute mismatched Challenge match.  It's very difficult to get the best of rats.  *A*
rat, sometimes, rats in general, never.  They're out to inherit the earth, if you ask
me.  In a neck-and-neck race with cockroaches.
     VIKING RAIDER (54-2885) (19-5-1,193) of SPARF! challenged FAT BACK (96-1610)
(34-20-4,234) of KILLING ME SOFTLY.  Up 41 or so.  VIKING RAIDER overpowered FAT BACK
in a 2 minute mismatched Challenge duel.  Just a tad low, Viking Raider, to use Fat
to grease your ship's hull.  Talk about your unusual forfeits!
     LONDON QUIREBOY (59-2513) (27-8-1,199) of CHAPEL ROCK challenged CAT IN THE HAT
(24-3103) (52-20-1,196) of THE SEUSS HEUSS.  Down 3.  LONDON QUIREBOY was viciously
subdued by CAT IN THE HAT in a 3 minute battle.  We did warn people about the dangers
of allowing gladiators to wear "funny hats" in the arena.  The Commission's policy
crew laughed, but you see the result!  There is POWER in those hats.

     Our TV challenge, and a salute to the possessor thereof:  BULL FROG (73-4547)
(23-9-0,132) of THE BULLS TV challenged HEBEE (38-4359) (28-34-0,165) of ALL FINESSE.
Up 33.  BULL FROG devastated HEBEE in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.  Thus
demonstrating that the said TV challenge is no joke or mistake or "luck of the draw."

     And for the title:  BLACK JACK SHELACK (47-4850) (34-20-2,278) of ROYAL FLUSH
fought MOD COD (55-2638) (94-121-3,202) of RHYME TYME.  BLACK JACK SHELACK demolished
MOD COD in a popular 1 minute mismatched Title match.  Or most serious thanks to
Black Jack, because we really don't want an unfashionable (and old) fish to carry the
title here.

                                        Olaf

CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD          W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 BLACK JACK SHELACK 47-4850  35  20  2  289  ROYAL FLUSH (146)          NORTH FORK

GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 KOOKABURRA 33-4151          89 114  4  238  GIRL SCOUT COOKIES (812)   NIATOLI ISLAND
 HELM HAMMERHAND 31-5025     51  37  0  228  LORDS OF VALHALLA (1208)   CHIMLEVTAL
-OSCAR 50-3153               39  14  0  217  OPEN SESAME (824)          SNOWBOUND
 VIKING RAIDER 54-2885       20   5  1  217  SPARF! (1372)              TROCAR
 CAT IN THE HAT 24-3103      53  20  1  216  THE SEUSS HEUSS (804)      ZORPUNT

GRAND CHAMPIONS               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-DESPERADO 77-2459           43  22  2  210  POSSE (1362)               MAZGOURRAH

GRAND CHAMPIONS               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 REDDI WHIP 97-1636          37  18  7  204  KILLING ME SOFTER (1368)   SHADOW GROVE
 STREET RAT 11-3116          35  29  2  202  GERFEL'S FRIENDS (516)     ARUAK CITY
 LONDON QUIREBOY 59-2513     27   9  1  201  CHAPEL ROCK (1352)         ILLIS
 TYMARIS RAVENSWOOD 53-5637  34  38  0  200  PUERCO'S PINATA (700)      KHALHUMS
 UNZOE THE SHAMAN 31-4940    24  10  0  196  THE STORMGUARDS (132)      CHIMLEVTAL
 MOD COD 55-2638             94 122  3  194  RHYME TYME (449)           KHALANI
 TENACIOUS 7-5337            58  31  1  190  BATHTUB ARMADA (1196)      BONSUR
 FAT BACK 96-1610            34  21  4  190  KILLING ME SOFTLY (1367)   OLD VALAMANTIS
 POPE PAUL II 79-1317        31  26  0  186  CHAPEL ROCK (776)          MIROI CHANG

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 SLIPPERY NIPPLE 59-2323     27  17  1  180  HANGOVERS (1153)           ILLIS
 CEER 96-1537                25  26  4  176  THE BLOODGUARD 2 (1369)    OLD VALAMANTIS
-ANNABEL BLACKHEART 65-6769  23  11  3  176  POSSE (1388)               DAL SHANG
 KONGOL 7-4524               57  57  2  172  BLADES OF ICE (162)        BONSUR
 BULL FROG 73-4547           24   9  0  159  THE BULLS (1144)           ERINIKA
 ACE METRIC 47-3554          22  15  0  159  ROYAL FLUSH (146)          NORTH FORK
 BLACK EYES 46-2820          25  19  0  156  THE FURIOUS FIVE (1121)    ARDIVENT
 DON KING 47-5374            22  17  2  153  ROYAL FLUSH (146)          NORTH FORK
 PINE LEAF 24-4580           43  50  0  151  KRILL CAVALRY (1364)       ZORPUNT

GRAND ADEPTS                  W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 AEDON 7-4295                59  59  1  148  BLADES OF ICE (162)        BONSUR
 PORK ROLL 97-1634           30  25  5  148  KILLING ME SOFTER (1368)   SHADOW GROVE
 BLOOD PIE 96-1918           16  16  5  148  WHY SELL THIS? (1390)      OLD VALAMANTIS
 HEBEE 38-4359               28  35  0  142  ALL FINESSE (1236)         CLIFFHOME
 BECKY 17-5782               47  30  5  140  BLADES OF STEEL (1068)     ALJAFIR
 A GROUNDSKEEPER 45-1613     32  27  1  134  AVID FANS (569)            STORMCROWE
 GAR & BRILL 38-4252         58  85  0  130  JUST BECAUSE (1228)        CLIFFHOME
 HUNZICKER BOWL 23-4182      36  19  1  126  SKI TAOS (1070)            TI
-GIGLIE 25-5130              35   9  0  125  MADTOWN (1381)             LYRATILAN
 HEAD CHEESE 96-1920         22  10  3  124  WHY SELL THIS? (1390)      OLD VALAMANTIS
 BULL DURHAM 5-4324          28  14  1  122  PARTY ANIMALS (591)        KALTOS
-ACID BATH 33-7373           21   9  1  104  DEATH PENALTY (1404)       NIATOLI ISLAND
 PUMPING ON STEEL 82--32315  17  15  0  104  NO RESPECT II (1399)       DWES EG

GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-REVANENT 15-4770            21  13  2  100  BLOODSWORN (1402)          MALCORN
 THE SINGING BANDIT 11-6349  26  35  0   94  GERFEL'S FRIENDS (516)     ARUAK CITY
 SUGARBEET 7-5219            32  31  1   93  SUGAR AND SPICE (1231)     BONSUR
-SWEET AIR 50-3381           26  12  1   91  OPEN SESAME (824)          SNOWBOUND

GRAND INITIATES               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 VANISH 73-4633              19   6  1   88  THE INANIMATES (1361)      ERINIKA
 HARLEY THE CADAVER 18-5366  25  50  3   77  STREET PIZZA (173)         TALCAMA
-SWEET STUFF 1-7966          21  11  2   76  MANNEQUIN'S BEST (1227)    MORDANT
 SCRAPPLE 97-1961            15  17  3   73  WHY SELL THIS? (1391)      SHADOW GROVE
 BRICK WALL 1-7478           44  50  0   67  HOMICIDAL MANIACS (1082)   MORDANT
 SNIPPER 66-3518             33  31  0   65  WHIPPERSNAPPERS (1097)     TARRGIR
-STEELHORSE 65-6900          19   2  2   61  POSSE (1388)               DAL SHANG
-QUIZNOS 10-5773             22  11  0   59  QUBIT (1136)               KOLACT
-OBSIDIAN 36-7135            18  11  2   59  VOW TO DESTROY (1403)      JHANS
 BLOODY BRAINLESS 96-2206    10  11  3   59  BLOODY RANDOMNESS (1405)   OLD VALAMANTIS
 JOHN WAYNE HAMMER 42-4213   16  23  2   52  KLK RANGE HAMMERZ (1408)   RODEKI
-CAULIFLOWER EARS 52-3424    21  18  0   40  OTTO'S PARTS (892)         FRATSFA
 LADYBUG 29-4709             26  24  1   36  CARDOW HUNTERS (1084)      LAPUR

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                    W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY              TURN
THE SINGING BANDI 11-6349  26  35  0 GERFEL'S FRIENDS 516   BULL DURHAM 5-4324     465

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

Kongol -- That's a jungle place, isn't it?  Yes, I thought so.  I don't do jungles.
High and cool, that's my venue. -- Pine Leaf

Vanish -- I wish you would!  I was getting the hang of things, and then you come
along and inanimate me. -- Snipper

John Wayne Hammer -- Odd, I thought you'd be taller and wear a hat with a brim. --
Ladybug

Harley the Cadaver -- Well, you've demonstrated an interesting gap in an old saw.  It
may not be possible to get blood from a stone, but you sure as heck hand the bricks
bleeding. -- Snipper for Brick Wall

20 September 2007
Ok, ok, you can stop not-talking about TOGS VI already, it is coming, slowly but
surely, like a giant, over-fed, greased slug sliding down a gravely driveway.  We're
looking for new-comers, old-timers, in-betweeners, fence-sitters and Delarquans to
come on out and participate.  Just think, you could be the next Pinky & the Brain
pairing (a la Creepster & Manager), or maybe you'll be the team that crushes all 
in
its path on the way TO UTTER AND COMPLETE TOGS DOMINATION!!!!!!  [note:  insert
sinister cackle if it helps you complete the picture]

There will be a few minor changes, so let's recap the rules from top to bottom:

1.  Each TOGS team consists of two managers.  After the contest starts, there will be
no switching partners whatsoever, so choose your teammate wisely.  TOGS VI will last
for 13 turns, so pick a partner you can stand for 6 months or so.

2.  The TOGS entry fee is 2 team setups per manager.  This means 4 setups per TOGS
team.  This entry fee is required before the start of the tourney with no exceptions
being made.  This is to ensure that nobody gets screwed if a team or manager decides
to back out early.  To pay the entry fee either:
     a)  send $10 cash/check/money order/ or whatever to me personally at:
          Paul Jokelson
          115 Moss Ave. #201
          Oakland, CA 94611
     b)  get RSI to send me 2 team setup gift certificates.  Sorry, no credit cards
         and no old teams you have lying around will be accepted.

3. TOGS point system:

Fights:

10 points for winning on your up-challenge against another TOGS warrior.
 7 points for winning on your even challenge of another TOGS warrior.
 7 points for winning on another TOGS warriors challenge.
 7 points for winning a random match-up against another TOGS warrior.
 4 points for winning on your down-challenge of another TOGS warrior.
 4 points for winning a random match-up against a non-TOGS warrior.

Changes this TOGS:

** 10 points for any challenge by the DM, UP OR DOWN!!
** 4 points for winning a random match-up against your TOGS partner's warrior.
To state the obvious, there are 0 points if you challenge your partner.

** 4 points for winning a bloodfeud attempt against you by a non-TOGS warrior

You will not get any points if you challenge or get challenged by a non-TOGS team
(with the exception of the above-stated rule if you get bloodfeuded), so use your
avoids wisely if you think someone is out to get you.

Spots/Ads

5 points for every spotlight written by any team member.  1 per manager per turn.

The minimum length of a spotlight to receive points is 1/2 column in the newsletter
(that's 31 lines-each line 85 characters across) and we will be completely firm on
this.  In addition to the length criteria, spotlights will not be given points if
they are in any way plagiarized or if they are not Duelmasters or fantasy related.
We will be the sole judge of this.  If you're unsure if we will judge something to be
Duelmasters or fantasy related, then e-mail me before you write the spotlight and
ask.  We reserve the right to take points away from a spotlight after they are given
if we judge at later time that the spotlight has been plagiarized.

-5 points per manager per turn every time a manager does not at least write one
personal ad.

4.  TOGS VI will start in arena 60 shortly after the Winter Face-to-Face (turn due
Feb 21, Aradi turn 436) and as mentioned before will last for 13 turns.  There will
be multipliers in the later rounds, which means that all points accumulated by a team
on turns 10 and 11 will be multiplied by 1.5 and all points accumulated by each team
on turns 12 and 13 will be multiplied by 2.

5.  Soultaker and Nuln will be the sole arbiters of any dispute that may arise, with
props to Sentinel for doing the score-keeping as always.  Whine all you like, we will
be glad to provide comfortable chairs and the cheese of your choice.

And there be the rules.  If you look closely, you'll notice there were a few minor
changes and additions made from the TOGS V rules.  They are as follows:

-- The Snotman & Nuln rule:  Last TOGS Snotman and Nuln randomly matched up 
something
like 4-5 times, so we basically decided out of pity to now give a small amount of
points (4 in this case) for winning a random against a teammate, so that you're not
completely screwed by having 2 of your 10 warriors get 0 zero points automatically.

-- Scaling Down Points for the DM:  Previously a TOGS DM would get 10 points *in
addition* to whatever challenge points they got.  This was to keep the DM from being
penalized for being at the top and give people something to fight for.  However, it
was a bit too much of an award and we decided to scale it back and eliminate the
bonus, but give full upchallenge credit whenever the DM challenges.

-- Bloodfeuds from outside TOGS teams:  This incident came up last TOGS, and it was
felt that if a person killed a non-TOGS warrior in a random, they shouldn't have to
be potentially locked into 4 turns of getting 0 points.  So we've added an additional
rule which now gives 4 points if you win when bloodfeuded by a non-TOGS warrior, at
least giving you some way to get points if you're locked into a non-TOGS bloodfeud
instead of being basically removed from the contest for 4 turns.

And lastly...

-- Team Names:  This was not listed in the rules, but to make things more festive, at
the suggestion of Manager we have decided to have the added dimension of team names!
Yes, no more boring rankings with Team 4 edging out Team 7.  Just picture reading a
TOGS turn report now, with something along the lines of "Team Fiery Starfish
obliterated Team Superior TOGSlings," just as one example.

We hope to see you all there....

17 October 2007
                   ******************************************
                   ******************************************
                   *****                              *******
                   ***** STORMCROWE SLAUGHTERHOUSE 3  *******
                   *****                              *******
                   ******************************************
                   ******************************************

The time is fast approaching and soon the SLAUGHTERHOUSE 3 will be upon us.  9 teams
(a total of 18 managers) have announced for what promises to be a fierce competition
in DM 45.  You still have time to join the fun!

ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS:

*Find a Partner

*Declare your intentions in the Stormcrowe newsletter to enter before the first turn
of the contest.  You may also email or diplo Master Darque.

*Each manager entering the Stormcrowe Slaughterhouse must submit one (1) Team Roll-Up
Certificate.  Only certificates will be accepted for entry.  All certificates
submitted will be used during the course of the contest as prizes.

*RU certificates must be received on or before the first turn of the contest which is
Stormcrowe Turn 263 (running approximately December 4th, 2007).  You may diplo them
to Master Darque or have them shipped directly to him.  Email MD for a home address.

RULES and SCORING

Rules and Scoring information for the Slaughterhouse will be posted every turn in the
Stormcrowe newsletter beginning with Turn 260 and in a final all arena ad in 
November.

PRIZES

ENDURANCE AWARD:  One (1) +1 Bonus Potion will be given to every team that competes
in 60 of the 65 contest fights.

KILL MASTER AWARD:  The individual manager with the most kills will receive a Limited
Immortality Potion.  This potion may be applied to one (1) warrior.  He/she will be
resurrected ONE-TIME if they are killed in Basic D2.

TOP TEAM AWARD:  Each manager on the winning team will receive the following prize
pack for their Slaughterhouse Dominance:

*One (1) +1 Bonus Potion
*Favorites Knowledge for one (1) Warrior
*Undisclosed amount of Team RU Certificates

Special note from RSI on prizes:  All contest prizes must be used within three
months.  All contest prizes may only be used on a living warrior on the participating
contest team in DM 45.  The immortality potion may resurrect a warrior one time,
after a death in DM 45 only, after which time the potion disappears.

NEED MORE INFORMATION

Rules questions and clarifications may be directed to Master Darque the contest
coordinator.  He may be reached by email at rebelnerfherder at yahoo dot com or by
diplo in DM 45 (Darque Forces-428).

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

BULL FROG devastated HEBEE in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
LONDON QUIREBOY was viciously subdued by CAT IN THE HAT in a 3 minute battle.
VIKING RAIDER overpowered FAT BACK in a 2 minute mismatched Challenge duel.
CEER was overpowered by STREET RAT in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge match.
TYMARIS RAVENSWOOD lost to HELM HAMMERHAND in a 3 minute Challenge fight.
TENACIOUS was devastated by KOOKABURRA in a 2 minute one-sided Challenge competition.
SLIPPERY NIPPLE slimly lost to REDDI WHIP in a 2 minute Challenge duel.
ACE METRIC viciously subdued AEDON in a action packed 3 minute Challenge fight.
DON KING overpowered HEAD CHEESE in a 4 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
BULL DURHAM slew THE SINGING BANDIT in a exciting 2 minute Challenge match.
VANISH bested HARLEY THE CADAVER in a crowd pleasing 2 minute Challenge conflict.
BLACK JACK SHELACK demolished MOD COD in a popular 1 minute mismatched Title match.
POPE PAUL II was viciously subdued by UNZOE THE SHAMAN in a popular 6 minute conflict.
A GROUNDSKEEPER was overpowered by BLACK EYES in a 1 minute uneven struggle.
PORK ROLL was handily defeated by KONGOL in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
BLOOD PIE bested HUNZICKER BOWL in a popular 2 minute brutal brawl.
PINE LEAF narrowly defeated GAR & BRILL in a 2 minute bout.
BECKY overpowered PUMPING ON STEELE in a 2 minute one-sided match.
SUGARBEET viciously subdued BRICK WALL in a crowd pleasing 2 minute gory competition.
SCRAPPLE defeated JOHN WAYNE HAMMER in a 1 minute duel.
BLOODY BRAINLESS demolished LADYBUG in a 1 minute uneven bout.
SNIPPER vanquished LAKE SAILOR in a popular 1 minute brutal mismatched fray.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                   9         LUNGING ATTACK    60 -  32 -  2      65  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  8         PARRY-STRIKE       7 -   4 -  0      64  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    6         WALL OF STEEL     35 -  21 -  0      63  |
|AIMED BLOW                       5         PARRY-LUNGE       15 -  11 -  0      58  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      5         BASHING ATTACK    11 -  10 -  0      52  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  4         TOTAL PARRY       30 -  38 -  1      44  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   3         SLASHING ATTACK   22 -  29 -  0      43  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      2         STRIKING ATTACK   38 -  57 -  2      40  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         AIMED BLOW        14 -  32 -  0      30  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    0         PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -   0 -  0       0  |

Turn 465 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  0     WALL OF STEEL      2 -  4         4  WALL OF STEEL  
SLASHING ATTACK    3 -  1     AIMED BLOW         1 -  4         3  STRIKING ATTACK
STRIKING ATTACK    6 -  2     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  0         2  SLASHING ATTACK
LUNGING ATTACK     6 -  3     TOTAL PARRY        0 -  5         1  LUNGING ATTACK 
BASHING ATTACK     2 -  1                                       1  BASHING ATTACK 
PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  1     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
LUNGING ATTACK   BLACK JACK SHELAC 47-4850  35  20  2  289 ROYAL FLUSH (146)
BASHING ATTACK   KOOKABURRA 33-4151         89 114  4  238 GIRL SCOUT COOKIES (812)
STRIKING ATTACK  HELM HAMMERHAND 31-5025    51  37  0  228 LORDS OF VALHALLA (1208)
SLASHING ATTACK  VIKING RAIDER 54-2885      20   5  1  217 SPARF! (1372)
WALL OF STEEL    REDDI WHIP 97-1636         37  18  7  204 KILLING ME SOFTER (1368)
PARRY-STRIKE     UNZOE THE SHAMAN 31-4940   24  10  0  196 THE STORMGUARDS (132)
TOTAL PARRY      TENACIOUS 7-5337           58  31  1  190 BATHTUB ARMADA (1196)
PARRY-LUNGE      FAT BACK 96-1610           34  21  4  190 KILLING ME SOFTLY (1367)
AIMED BLOW       BLACK EYES 46-2820         25  19  0  156 THE FURIOUS FIVE (1121)

The overall popularity leader is MOD COD 55-2638.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was DON KING 47-5374.  The ten other most popular fighters were ACE METRIC 47-3554, 
UNZOE THE SHAMAN 31-4940, CAT IN THE HAT 24-3103, POPE PAUL II 79-1317, HELM 
HAMMERHAND 31-5025, VIKING RAIDER 54-2885, KOOKABURRA 33-4151, SUGARBEET 7-5219, BULL 
DURHAM 5-4324, and VANISH 73-4633.

The least popular fighter this week was LADYBUG 29-4709.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were PORK ROLL 97-1634, A GROUNDSKEEPER 45-1613, HEBEE 38-4359, JOHN WAYNE 
HAMMER 42-4213, PUMPING ON STEELE 82--32315, HARLEY THE CADAVER 18-5366, CEER 
96-1537, FAT BACK 96-1610, SCRAPPLE 97-1961, and BRICK WALL 1-7478.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
MORDANT(1)           0  1 0  CHIMLEVTAL(31)       2  0 0  KHALANI(55)          0  1 0  
KALTOS(5)            1  0 1  NIATOLI ISLAND(33)   1  0 0  ILLIS(59)            0  2 0  
BONSUR(7)            2  2 0  CLIFFHOME(38)        0  2 0  TARRGIR(66)          1  0 0  
ARUAK CITY(11)       1  1 0  RODEKI(42)           0  1 0  ERINIKA(73)          2  0 0  
ALJAFIR(17)          1  0 0  STORMCROWE(45)       0  1 0  MIROI CHANG(79)      0  1 0  
TALCAMA(18)          0  1 0  ARDIVENT(46)         1  0 0  DWES EG(82)          0  1 0  
TI(23)               0  1 0  NORTH FORK(47)       3  0 0  OLD VALAMANTIS(96)   2  3 0  
ZORPUNT(24)          2  0 0  KHALHUMS(53)         0  1 0  SHADOW GROVE(97)     2  1 0  
LAPUR(29)            0  1 0  TROCAR(54)           1  0 0  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 BRICK WALL 1-7478           44  50  0   67  HOMICIDAL MANIACS (1082)   MORDANT
 BULL DURHAM 5-4324          28  14  1  122  PARTY ANIMALS (591)        KALTOS
 TENACIOUS 7-5337            58  31  1  190  BATHTUB ARMADA (1196)      BONSUR
 STREET RAT 11-3116          35  29  2  202  GERFEL'S FRIENDS (516)     ARUAK CITY
 BECKY 17-5782               47  30  5  140  BLADES OF STEEL (1068)     ALJAFIR
 HARLEY THE CADAVER 18-5366  25  50  3   77  STREET PIZZA (173)         TALCAMA
 HUNZICKER BOWL 23-4182      36  19  1  126  SKI TAOS (1070)            TI
 CAT IN THE HAT 24-3103      53  20  1  216  THE SEUSS HEUSS (804)      ZORPUNT
 LADYBUG 29-4709             26  24  1   36  CARDOW HUNTERS (1084)      LAPUR
 HELM HAMMERHAND 31-5025     51  37  0  228  LORDS OF VALHALLA (1208)   CHIMLEVTAL
 KOOKABURRA 33-4151          89 114  4  238  GIRL SCOUT COOKIES (812)   NIATOLI ISLAND
 HEBEE 38-4359               28  35  0  142  ALL FINESSE (1236)         CLIFFHOME
 JOHN WAYNE HAMMER 42-4213   16  23  2   52  KLK RANGE HAMMERZ (1408)   RODEKI
 A GROUNDSKEEPER 45-1613     32  27  1  134  AVID FANS (569)            STORMCROWE
 BLACK EYES 46-2820          25  19  0  156  THE FURIOUS FIVE (1121)    ARDIVENT
 BLACK JACK SHELACK 47-4850  35  20  2  289  ROYAL FLUSH (146)          NORTH FORK
 TYMARIS RAVENSWOOD 53-5637  34  38  0  200  PUERCO'S PINATA (700)      KHALHUMS
 VIKING RAIDER 54-2885       20   5  1  217  SPARF! (1372)              TROCAR
 MOD COD 55-2638             94 122  3  194  RHYME TYME (449)           KHALANI
 LONDON QUIREBOY 59-2513     27   9  1  201  CHAPEL ROCK (1352)         ILLIS
 SNIPPER 66-3518             33  31  0   65  WHIPPERSNAPPERS (1097)     TARRGIR
 BULL FROG 73-4547           24   9  0  159  THE BULLS (1144)           ERINIKA
 POPE PAUL II 79-1317        31  26  0  186  CHAPEL ROCK (776)          MIROI CHANG
 PUMPING ON STEEL 82--32315  17  15  0  104  NO RESPECT II (1399)       DWES EG
 FAT BACK 96-1610            34  21  4  190  KILLING ME SOFTLY (1367)   OLD VALAMANTIS
 REDDI WHIP 97-1636          37  18  7  204  KILLING ME SOFTER (1368)   SHADOW GROVE