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Date   : 12/12/2007    Duedate: 12/25/2007

HOME GUARD

DM-101    TURN-469

RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %  RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %
  1 STREET PIZZA 18/173   532  431  3 55.2    6 PUERCO'S PINA 53/700  181  172  2 51.3
    WHY SELL THIS? 96/1390                      GERFEL'S FRIENDS 11/516               
    WHY SELL THIS? 97/1391                      THE FURIOUS FIVE 46/1121              
    DEAD PRESIDENTS, YO 99/1412                 THE GOOD EARTH 82/1420                
    BLOODY RANDOMNESS 96/1405                 7-SEA DOGS 7/1416        23   22  0 51.1
  2-THE FAMILY T 20/1417   61   50  1 55.0    8-LORDS OF VAL 31/1208   57   60  0 48.7
  3-BLADES OF ICE 7/162   463  392 10 54.2    9 THE STORMGUAR 31/132  145  165  2 46.8
    BLADES OF STEEL 17/1068                  10 JUST BECAUSE 38/1228  449  598  9 42.9
  4-SKI TAOS 23/1070      909  822 13 52.5   11 RHYME TYME 55/449     611  868 15 41.3
    OPEN SESAME 50/824                          GIRL SCOUT COOKIES 33/812             
    PARTY ANIMALS 5/591                         THE SEUSS HEUSS 24/804                
    AVID FANS 45/569                         12 KRILL CAVALR 24/1364  592  951  6 38.4
    ROYAL FLUSH 47/146                          WHIPPERSNAPPERS 66/1097               
  5 ALL FINESSE 38/1236   278  260  2 51.7      HOMICIDAL MANIACS 1/1082              
    NO RESPECT II 82/1399                       CARDOW HUNTERS 29/1084                
    BATHTUB ARMADA 7/1196                       CHILDREN OF LLYR 35/1415              
    SUGAR AND SPICE 7/1231                   13 KLK RANGE HA 42/1408    3   13  0 18.8
    THE INANIMATES 73/1361                      AIM 4 ISLE HAMMERZ 17/1414            

    '##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id     '-'  Team did not fight this turn

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

     What a day!  It's the ice, right?  That's why everyone stayed home?  Because we
had fourteen fights involving three standbys:  only twenty-five active warriors.  ONE
challenge, which means that Gar & Brill was the Most Challenged warrior.  ONE avoid,
which means that Open Sesame was Most Avoided by Gerfel's Friends.

     JOHN WAYNE HAMMER (42-4213) (16-26-2,53) of KLK RANGE HAMMERZ fought HARLEY THE
CADAVER (18-5366) (27-51-3,75) of STREET PIZZA.  JOHN WAYNE HAMMER overcame HARLEY
THE CADAVER in an action packed 1 minute fight.  Hammered Cadaver, not a good image.
     BLOODY BRAINLESS (96-2206) (11-13-3,57) of BLOODY RANDOMNESS fought B&G BOUNCER
(101-3) (0-0-0,30) of the Stand-ins, gotta love 'em.  BLOODY BRAINLESS demolished B&G
BOUNCER in a popular 1 minute bloody mismatched match.  The Bouncer is now hunting a
new day job.
     SCRAPPLE (97-1961) (18-17-3,87) of WHY SELL THIS? fought AIM SEDUCE HAMMER (17-
6815) (22-5-1,63) of AIM 4 ISLE HAMMERZ.  SCRAPPLE devastated AIM SEDUCE HAMMER in a
1 minute mismatched conflict.  Not a good day for Aim.
     JAMES MADISON (99-1268) (10-4-3,66) of DEAD PRESIDENTS, YO fought VANISH (73-
4633) (19-6-1,88) of THE INANIMATES.  JAMES MADISON was overpowered by VANISH in a 1
minute one-sided match.  Better to have stayed dead, James.  I can attest to that.
     HUW AP HUW (35-3030) (20-41-0,100) of CHILDREN OF LLYR fought THE SINGING BANDIT
(11-6349) (28-36-0,84) of GERFEL'S FRIENDS.  HUW AP HUW was overpowered by THE
SINGING BANDIT in a popular 1 minute uneven match.  Ah.  They tell me Huw can't carry
a tune in a basket.
     CADAL (35-1370) (42-82-4,135) of CHILDREN OF LLYR fought UNZOE THE SHAMAN (31-
4940) (25-12-0,147) of THE STORMGUARDS.  CADAL was overpowered by UNZOE THE SHAMAN in
a popular 1 minute uneven duel.  Always good to have some reliable losers around, I
s'pose.

     TAVIS CADFALSON (35-1419) (31-83-2,123) of CHILDREN OF LLYR fought SUGARBEET (7-
5219) (32-31-1,93) of SUGAR AND SPICE.  TAVIS CADFALSON viciously subdued SUGARBEET
in an action packed 2 minute gruesome duel.  Whoa!  One of these Llyrsons WON?
Amazing.  The age of miracles has not passed.
     HEBEE (38-4359) (28-35-0,142) of ALL FINESSE fought OWAIN HARLSON (35-3130) (24-
30-1,113) of CHILDREN OF LLYR.  HEBEE was defeated by OWAIN HARLSON in a 1 minute
melee.  Listen, Hebee, sometimes finesse is not the answer.  Just hack and hew.
     PUMPING ON STEELE (82-33221) (17-15-0,104) of NO RESPECT II fought MATH OP OWAIN
(35-1418) (36-78-1,131) of CHILDREN OF LLYR.  PUMPING ON STEELE was viciously subdued
by MATH OP OWAIN in a 3 minute match.  Does this mean that Math has no respect?  I
used to have no respect for math, back when I was a kid and they were trying to teach
me the mysteries of higher addition.
     BLOOD PIE (96-1918) (16-19-5,132) of WHY SELL THIS? fought IRON-PLATED IRV (101-
10) (0-0-0,150) of the Stand-ins, gotta love 'em.  BLOOD PIE viciously subdued IRON-
PLATED IRV in an action packed 4 minute gory brawl.  And good work, too.
     HEAD CHEESE (96-1920) (23-12-3,139) of WHY SELL THIS? fought IRON-PLATED IRV
(101-10) (0-0-0,150) of the Stand-ins, gotta love 'em.  HEAD CHEESE overpowered IRON-
PLATED IRV in a 5 minute one-sided fight.  Does it count if it's Irv's second fight
of the day?
     STREET RAT (11-3116) (36-31-2,197) of GERFEL'S FRIENDS fought MOD COD (55-2638)
(95-124-3,195) of RHYME TYME.  STREET RAT was vanquished by MOD COD in a 1 minute
mismatched brawl.  Somebody should fillet this Cod and cook it on the Brill, eh?

     Our challenge:  BLACK EYES (46-2820) (26-21-0,151) of THE FURIOUS FIVE
challenged GAR & BRILL (38-4252) (60-86-0,157) of JUST BECAUSE.  Up 6.  BLACK EYES
devastated GAR & BRILL in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.  Way to GO, Black!

     And for the title:  CAT IN THE HAT (24-3103) (55-21-1,224) of THE SEUSS HEUSS
fought TENACIOUS (7-5337) (58-31-1,190) of BATHTUB ARMADA.  CAT IN THE HAT savagely
defeated TENACIOUS in an exciting 9 minute gory Title melee.  Nine minutes, that's
respectable, and our congratulations to both for hanging in there so long on such an
icy day.

     For now, fare you all well as the year slides down to the bottom of the Dark
Days, and I'll expect to see you all and more of you after the Solstice.

                                        Olaf

CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD          W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 CAT IN THE HAT 24-3103      56  21  1  243  THE SEUSS HEUSS (804)      ZORPUNT

GRAND CHAMPIONS               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 MOD COD 55-2638             96 124  3  209  RHYME TYME (449)           KHALANI
 TENACIOUS 7-5337            58  32  1  200  BATHTUB ARMADA (1196)      BONSUR
-OSCAR 50-3153               39  15  0  197  OPEN SESAME (824)          SNOWBOUND
-PINE LEAF 24-4580           45  50  0  196  KRILL CAVALRY (1364)       ZORPUNT
 STREET RAT 11-3116          36  32  2  186  GERFEL'S FRIENDS (516)     ARUAK CITY

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-KONGOL 7-4524               57  59  2  174  BLADES OF ICE (162)        BONSUR
-ACE METRIC 47-3554          23  15  0  172  ROYAL FLUSH (146)          NORTH FORK
 BLACK EYES 46-2820          27  21  0  165  THE FURIOUS FIVE (1121)    ARDIVENT
-AEDON 7-4295                60  60  1  160  BLADES OF ICE (162)        BONSUR
-DON KING 47-5374            23  18  2  159  ROYAL FLUSH (146)          NORTH FORK
-BULL DURHAM 5-4324          29  15  1  155  PARTY ANIMALS (591)        KALTOS
 UNZOE THE SHAMAN 31-4940    26  12  0  155  THE STORMGUARDS (132)      CHIMLEVTAL
 HEAD CHEESE 96-1920         24  12  3  155  WHY SELL THIS? (1390)      OLD VALAMANTIS

GRAND ADEPTS                  W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 BLOOD PIE 96-1918           17  19  5  149  WHY SELL THIS? (1390)      OLD VALAMANTIS
 GAR & BRILL 38-4252         60  87  0  146  JUST BECAUSE (1228)        CLIFFHOME
-A GROUNDSKEEPER 45-1613     33  28  1  144  AVID FANS (569)            STORMCROWE
-HUNZICKER BOWL 23-4182      37  19  1  137  SKI TAOS (1070)            TI
-BECKY 17-5782               47  32  5  134  BLADES OF STEEL (1068)     ALJAFIR
 MATH OP OWAIN 35-1418       37  78  1  133  CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)    MURSKA

GRAND ADEPTS                  W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 OWAIN HARLSON 35-3130       25  30  1  133  CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)    MURSKA
 CADAL 35-1370               42  83  4  132  CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)    MURSKA
 TAVIS CADFALSON 35-1419     32  83  2  125  CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)    MURSKA
 HEBEE 38-4359               28  36  0  122  ALL FINESSE (1236)         CLIFFHOME
 PUMPING ON STEEL 82--32315  17  16  0  106  NO RESPECT II (1399)       DWES EG

GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 THE SINGING BANDIT 11-6349  29  36  0  100  GERFEL'S FRIENDS (516)     ARUAK CITY
 SCRAPPLE 97-1961            19  17  3  100  WHY SELL THIS? (1391)      SHADOW GROVE
 SUGARBEET 7-5219            32  32  1   96  SUGAR AND SPICE (1231)     BONSUR
 VANISH 73-4633              20   6  1   95  THE INANIMATES (1361)      ERINIKA

GRAND INITIATES               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 HUW AP HUW 35-3030          20  42  0   82  CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)    MURSKA
-LADYBUG 29-4709             27  25  1   70  CARDOW HUNTERS (1084)      LAPUR
 JOHN WAYNE HAMMER 42-4213   17  26  2   70  KLK RANGE HAMMERZ (1408)   RODEKI
 JAMES MADISON 99-1268       10   5  3   66  DEAD PRESIDENTS, YO (1412) SOUTH RIDGE
-BRICK WALL 1-7478           45  51  0   63  HOMICIDAL MANIACS (1082)   MORDANT
-SNIPPER 66-3518             34  32  0   61  WHIPPERSNAPPERS (1097)     TARRGIR
 BLOODY BRAINLESS 96-2206    12  13  3   61  BLOODY RANDOMNESS (1405)   OLD VALAMANTIS
 AIM SEDUCE HAMMER 17-6815   22   6  1   60  AIM 4 ISLE HAMMERZ (1414)  ALJAFIR
 HARLEY THE CADAVER 18-5366  27  52  3   59  STREET PIZZA (173)         TALCAMA
-HARRY MONSTER 50-3430       15  13  0   58  OPEN SESAME (824)          SNOWBOUND

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                   W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY                  TURN

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

High Lord Bosk -- Tal and well met, Mighty One!  I am a little bummed to see Lord
Protector Helm Hammerhand get whisked out of Home Guard.  I was looking forward to
him being our Captain of the Guard for a majority of the following six months.  It
would have been most hussah to watch him dominate turn after turn.  It was not meant
to be.  May he fare well! -- The Icelord

All Home Guard Managers -- Merry Christmas & Happy New Year! -- The Council of Lords

     And the same to you all. -- Olaf

And JUST in time for the holidays!  Jethro Tull releases "Jethro Tull Live at
Montreux" CD AND DVD!  Hussah!  Also, they've released "The Best of Acoustic Jethro
Tull!"  VERY hussah! -- The Icelord

'Tis a sad day for us when Jorja sent us out here, and there's no telling what she
had in her mind.  Women are very strange.  But we went oh and five to begin with, and
I've no doubt it won't be our first time.  She DID say that she wanted "gladiators
who wouldn't get hauled back to Talahya in a hurry," rather than tender young
Freshmen.  I say twould be better to let the Freshmen have it, there's enough of them
around.  But I'm not the manager here, and Jorja, well, she's a woman and she doesn't
listen so well to the voice of her elders.  At least she didn't send us in here, just
one or two with a lot of strangers; we're all kinsmen in some degree.  I suppose
we'll do well enough, so long as that isn't taken to include winning. -- Math op
Owain, Children of Llyr

Ninja Ferd -- I had been expecting the Kung-Fu stuff.  Not what I found, no indeed!
I found a little bit of a fellow, smaller than me, even, using a maul one-handed!  It
was a horrible thing to see, and a more horrible thing to run into.  I don't think
this is going to be a good business for us here, but eh, I've survived bad business
before, me and Math and Cadal have.  Perhaps some day we'll tell you the horrid tale.
-- Tavis Cadfalson

Unzoe the Shaman -- My dad, that would have been Huw, always told me to watch out for
shamans as being as dangerous as magicians and tricksier.  I'm sure you must be one
like that.  I'd rather we got together over beer than blades.  I could tell you tales
of my adventures in the western lands, and I'm sure you've got tales of your own, eh?
-- Huw ap Huw

A Groundskeeper -- Be keeping your old grounds then, why should I be wanting them?
I've grounds of my own, and I could wish to be on them now, getting in wood for the
winter.  Ah, it's deep the snow gets on my homestead, for I and some of my kin took
the Exchange Lands west of Lirith Kai instead of some piddly little rock or two near
Murska.  But some of the improvements we've lately had in mind take money, and so
when Jorja called, we came.  I'm just hoping nothing dire happens while we're gone.
-- Cadal

Katrina -- It goes against all reason and proper feeling to strike a woman, even if
she is a Karnhorn wench.  I cannot do it. -- Math op Owain

Katrina -- You must be using magic, it's unwomanly for you to fight like that
otherwise.  It would be unmanly if you were a man, but it's VERY clear that you
aren't, so, um....  Um, fine figure of a woman you are, ma'am, even if you've the
temper of a she-bear with cubs. -- Owain Harlson

Council of Lords -- Thank you for that kind word, sirs and ladies.  But I'm sure that
our replacements will, um, be very present. -- Snipper

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

BLACK EYES devastated GAR & BRILL in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
CAT IN THE HAT savagely defeated TENACIOUS in a exciting 9 minute gory Title melee.
STREET RAT was vanquished by MOD COD in a 1 minute mismatched brawl.
HEAD CHEESE overpowered IRON-PLATED IRV in a 5 minute one-sided fight.
BLOOD PIE viciously subdued IRON-PLATED IRV in a action packed 4 minute gory brawl.
PUMPING ON STEELE was viciously subdued by MATH OP OWAIN in a 3 minute match.
HEBEE was defeated by OWAIN HARLSON in a 1 minute melee.
TAVIS CADFALSON viciously subdued SUGARBEET in a action packed 2 minute gruesome duel.
CADAL was overpowered by UNZOE THE SHAMAN in a popular 1 minute uneven duel.
HUW AP HUW was overpowered by THE SINGING BANDIT in a popular 1 minute uneven match.
JAMES MADISON was overpowered by VANISH in a 1 minute one-sided match.
SCRAPPLE devastated AIM SEDUCE HAMMER in a 1 minute mismatched conflict.
BLOODY BRAINLESS demolished B&G BOUNCER in a popular 1 minute bloody mismatched match.
JOHN WAYNE HAMMER overcame HARLEY THE CADAVER in a action packed 1 minute fight.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|AIMED BLOW                       5         PARRY-LUNGE       14 -   7 -  0      67  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  5         LUNGING ATTACK    51 -  28 -  2      65  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   4         WALL OF STEEL     30 -  19 -  0      61  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     4         SLASHING ATTACK   19 -  16 -  0      54  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   3         PARRY-STRIKE       8 -  11 -  0      42  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      2         BASHING ATTACK     8 -  11 -  0      42  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      1         STRIKING ATTACK   32 -  47 -  2      41  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    1         TOTAL PARRY       19 -  29 -  0      40  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    0         AIMED BLOW        19 -  32 -  0      37  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  0         PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -   0 -  0       0  |

Turn 469 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  0     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  0         3  STRIKING ATTACK
LUNGING ATTACK     4 -  0     SLASHING ATTACK    0 -  0         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
AIMED BLOW         3 -  2     BASHING ATTACK     0 -  3         2  TOTAL PARRY    
STRIKING ATTACK    3 -  2     WALL OF STEEL      0 -  1         2  WALL OF STEEL  
PARRY-STRIKE       2 -  2                                       1  SLASHING ATTACK
TOTAL PARRY        1 -  1                                       1  AIMED BLOW     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
STRIKING ATTACK  CAT IN THE HAT 24-3103     56  21  1  243 THE SEUSS HEUSS (804)
LUNGING ATTACK   MOD COD 55-2638            96 124  3  209 RHYME TYME (449)
TOTAL PARRY      TENACIOUS 7-5337           58  32  1  200 BATHTUB ARMADA (1196)
AIMED BLOW       BLACK EYES 46-2820         27  21  0  165 THE FURIOUS FIVE (1121)
PARRY-STRIKE     UNZOE THE SHAMAN 31-4940   26  12  0  155 THE STORMGUARDS (132)
BASHING ATTACK   CADAL 35-1370              42  83  4  132 CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)
WALL OF STEEL    PUMPING ON STEE 82--32315  17  16  0  106 NO RESPECT II (1399)
PARRY-LUNGE      SCRAPPLE 97-1961           19  17  3  100 WHY SELL THIS? (1391)

The overall popularity leader is MOD COD 55-2638.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was CAT IN THE HAT 24-3103.  The ten other most popular fighters were BLOOD PIE 
96-1918, MATH OP OWAIN 35-1418, TAVIS CADFALSON 35-1419, TENACIOUS 7-5337, THE 
SINGING BANDIT 11-6349, BLOODY BRAINLESS 96-2206, BLACK EYES 46-2820, UNZOE THE 
SHAMAN 31-4940, JOHN WAYNE HAMMER 42-4213, and MOD COD 55-2638.

The least popular fighter this week was AIM SEDUCE HAMMER 17-6815.  The other ten 
least popular fighters were JAMES MADISON 99-1268, HUW AP HUW 35-3030, STREET RAT 
11-3116, HARLEY THE CADAVER 18-5366, SCRAPPLE 97-1961, HEBEE 38-4359, PUMPING ON 
STEELE 82--32315, HEAD CHEESE 96-1920, GAR & BRILL 38-4252, and VANISH 73-4633.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
BONSUR(7)            0  2 0  MURSKA(35)           3  2 0  ERINIKA(73)          1  0 0  
ARUAK CITY(11)       1  1 0  CLIFFHOME(38)        0  2 0  DWES EG(82)          0  1 0  
ALJAFIR(17)          0  1 0  RODEKI(42)           1  0 0  OLD VALAMANTIS(96)   3  0 0  
TALCAMA(18)          0  1 0  ARDIVENT(46)         1  0 0  SHADOW GROVE(97)     1  0 0  
ZORPUNT(24)          1  0 0  KHALANI(55)          1  0 0  SOUTH RIDGE(99)      0  1 0  
CHIMLEVTAL(31)       1  0 0  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 TENACIOUS 7-5337            58  32  1  200  BATHTUB ARMADA (1196)      BONSUR
 STREET RAT 11-3116          36  32  2  186  GERFEL'S FRIENDS (516)     ARUAK CITY
 AIM SEDUCE HAMMER 17-6815   22   6  1   60  AIM 4 ISLE HAMMERZ (1414)  ALJAFIR
 HARLEY THE CADAVER 18-5366  27  52  3   59  STREET PIZZA (173)         TALCAMA
 CAT IN THE HAT 24-3103      56  21  1  243  THE SEUSS HEUSS (804)      ZORPUNT
 UNZOE THE SHAMAN 31-4940    26  12  0  155  THE STORMGUARDS (132)      CHIMLEVTAL
 MATH OP OWAIN 35-1418       37  78  1  133  CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)    MURSKA
 GAR & BRILL 38-4252         60  87  0  146  JUST BECAUSE (1228)        CLIFFHOME
 JOHN WAYNE HAMMER 42-4213   17  26  2   70  KLK RANGE HAMMERZ (1408)   RODEKI
 BLACK EYES 46-2820          27  21  0  165  THE FURIOUS FIVE (1121)    ARDIVENT
 MOD COD 55-2638             96 124  3  209  RHYME TYME (449)           KHALANI
 VANISH 73-4633              20   6  1   95  THE INANIMATES (1361)      ERINIKA
 PUMPING ON STEEL 82--32315  17  16  0  106  NO RESPECT II (1399)       DWES EG
 HEAD CHEESE 96-1920         24  12  3  155  WHY SELL THIS? (1390)      OLD VALAMANTIS
 SCRAPPLE 97-1961            19  17  3  100  WHY SELL THIS? (1391)      SHADOW GROVE
 JAMES MADISON 99-1268       10   5  3   66  DEAD PRESIDENTS, YO (1412) SOUTH RIDGE