AD
Date : 01/09/2008 Duedate: 01/22/2008
HOME GUARD
DM-101 TURN-471
RANK TEAMS W L K % RANK TEAMS W L K %
1 STREET PIZZA 18/173 541 434 3 55.5 BATHTUB ARMADA 7/1196
WHY SELL THIS? 97/1391 NO RESPECT II 82/1399
WHY SELL THIS? 96/1390 SWEORDMASTERS 1/1210
DEAD PRESIDENTS, YO 99/1412 SUGAR AND SPICE 7/1231
BLOODY RANDOMNESS 96/1405 THE INANIMATES 73/1361
2-SKI TAOS 23/1070 911 826 13 52.4 5 THE STORMGUAR 31/132 147 165 2 47.1
OPEN SESAME 50/824 6 JUST BECAUSE 38/1228 450 599 9 42.9
PARTY ANIMALS 5/591 7 RHYME TYME 55/449 613 870 15 41.3
CHAPEL ROCK 59/1352 THE SEUSS HEUSS 24/804
ROYAL FLUSH 47/146 8 CHILDREN OF 35/1415 593 960 6 38.2
3-GERFEL'S FRIE 11/516 184 172 2 51.7 9 KLK RANGE HA 42/1408 5 15 0 25.0
THE FURIOUS FIVE 46/1121 AIM 4 ISLE HAMMERZ 17/1414
4 ALL FINESSE 38/1236 283 266 2 51.5 10 DARK PINNACL 47/1411 0 1 0 0.0
'##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id '-' Team did not fight this turn
REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER
Okay, it's the tourney, right? After the tourney, gladiators will return to
Home Guard to fight? Say it's true! Because this is pathetic. Two dozen gladiators
fighting today. Okay, and four standbys, big deal. Fourteen total fights. Even
Andorak didn't get this bad! Well, maybe they did, but I don't remember. Still,
this is pathetic.
Oh, but wait! It gets WORSE! We had five challenges, okay, not a bad
percentage of the total fights. BUT. The Captain of the Guard fought and LOST to a
standby, which left the title up for grabs.
Nobody avoided anybody else. Guess those of you who fought knew ehtere wouldn't
be anyone left worth avoiding. Or you avoided people who didn't fight. Or
something. Whatever.
Harley the Cadaver got the most challenges.
AIM SEDUCE HAMMER (17-6815) (22-7-1,50) of AIM 4 ISLE HAMMERZ fought LAKE SAILOR
(101-2) (0-0-0,30) of a Few Good Bums. AIM SEDUCE HAMMER handily defeated LAKE
SAILOR in a 1 minute uneven fight. I should hope so!
JOHN WAYNE HAMMER (42-4213) (18-26-2,87) of KLK RANGE HAMMERZ fought LAKE SAILOR
(101-2) (0-0-0,30) of a Few Good Bums. JOHN WAYNE HAMMER was beaten by LAKE SAILOR
in a 1 minute conflict. Gotta laugh at this one, after one of the Llyrsons fussed so
about fighting this guy.
OPAI (47-5735) (16-5-0,53) of DARK PINNACLE fought MISCHIEVOUS IMP (1-7627) (32-
19-3,88) of SWEORDMASTERS. OPAI was demolished by MISCHIEVOUS IMP in a 1 minute
mismatched match. Imps are like that.
JAMES MADISON (99-1268) (10-6-3,48) of DEAD PRESIDENTS, YO fought HUW AP HUW
(35-3030) (20-43-0,66) of CHILDREN OF LLYR. JAMES MADISON demolished HUW AP HUW in a
2 minute bloody mismatched competition. That's gotta sting, Huw.
GAR & BRILL (38-4252) (60-88-0,150) of JUST BECAUSE fought SLICK STEPHAN (101-
11) (0-0-0,150) of a Few Good Bums. GAR & BRILL handily defeated SLICK STEPHAN in an
exciting 1 minute one-sided bout. Too bad.
BLOOD PIE (96-1918) (18-19-5,155) of WHY SELL THIS? fought MATH OP OWAIN (35-
1418) (38-78-1,135) of CHILDREN OF LLYR. BLOOD PIE narrowly defeated MATH OP OWAIN
in an exciting 2 minute fight. How narrowly? An inch? Half an inch?
UNZOE THE SHAMAN (31-4940) (27-12-0,159) of THE STORMGUARDS fought CADAL (35-
1370) (42-84-4,132) of CHILDREN OF LLYR. UNZOE THE SHAMAN slimly won victory over
CADAL in an action packed 4 minute fight. "Slimly." Heck, this is like "narrowly."
You never really know what it means. It's just fancy words put in to dress up the
comment.
HEAD CHEESE (96-1920) (24-13-3,159) of WHY SELL THIS? fought OWAIN HARLSON (35-
3130) (25-31-1,127) of CHILDREN OF LLYR. HEAD CHEESE handily defeated OWAIN HARLSON
in an action packed 3 minute uneven melee. What I want to know is, was Head Cheese
assisted by all his under-cheeses?
CAT IN THE HAT (24-3103) (57-21-1,260) of THE SEUSS HEUSS fought NAIHREN (101-
27) (0-0-0,240) of a Few Good Bums. CAT IN THE HAT was devastated by NAIHREN in a 1
minute mismatched match. The bum here was Cat. Losing the title to a standby, who
will now complain for MONTHS that he should have been Captain of the Guard but was
unfairly barred from the position. Not that we're going to miss Cat.
The challenges:
VANISH (73-4633) (20-7-1,75) of THE INANIMATES challenged BLOODY BRAINLESS (96-
2206) (13-13-3,79) of BLOODY RANDOMNESS. Up 4. VANISH devastated BLOODY BRAINLESS
in a popular 1 minute uneven Challenge brawl.
SUGARBEET (7-5219) (32-33-1,100) of SUGAR AND SPICE challenged HARLEY THE
CADAVER (18-5366) (28-52-3,92) of STREET PIZZA. Down 8. SUGARBEET was viciously
subdued by HARLEY THE CADAVER in a 3 minute Challenge fight. Serves that down-
challenging (well, if you go by ranking, by regular fights is another matter) root
right!
HEBEE (38-4359) (28-37-0,125) of ALL FINESSE challenged SCRAPPLE (97-1961) (20-
17-3,134) of WHY SELL THIS? Up 9. HEBEE was overpowered by SCRAPPLE in a 1 minute
mismatched Challenge duel. Some people just aren't adventurous eaters.
PUMPING ON STEELE (82-33221) (17-17-0,120) of NO RESPECT II challenged TAVIS
CADFALSON (35-1419) (32-84-2,110) of CHILDREN OF LLYR. Down 10. PUMPING ON STEELE
slimly won victory over TAVIS CADFALSON in a 3 minute battle. Slim. Which means...?
For the title, which the winner of this fight took on having the highest
recognition: TENACIOUS (7-5337) (59-32-1,202) of BATHTUB ARMADA challenged MOD COD
(55-2638) (97-124-3,228) of RHYME TYME. Up 26. TENACIOUS unbelievably bested MOD
COD in a 3 minute Challenge Title fight. My congratulations to Tenacious, and I
believed every move.
Olaf
CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
TENACIOUS 7-5337 60 32 1 208 BATHTUB ARMADA (1196) BONSUR
GRAND CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
-LONDON QUIREBOY 59-2513 27 10 1 207 CHAPEL ROCK (1352) ILLIS
MOD COD 55-2638 97 125 3 205 RHYME TYME (449) KHALANI
-OSCAR 50-3153 39 16 0 193 OPEN SESAME (824) SNOWBOUND
-STREET RAT 11-3116 37 32 2 192 GERFEL'S FRIENDS (516) ARUAK CITY
CAT IN THE HAT 24-3103 57 22 1 190 THE SEUSS HEUSS (804) ZORPUNT
GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
-ACE METRIC 47-3554 24 15 0 174 ROYAL FLUSH (146) NORTH FORK
-DON KING 47-5374 23 19 2 174 ROYAL FLUSH (146) NORTH FORK
-BLACK EYES 46-2820 28 21 0 167 THE FURIOUS FIVE (1121) ARDIVENT
HEAD CHEESE 96-1920 25 13 3 162 WHY SELL THIS? (1390) OLD VALAMANTIS
GAR & BRILL 38-4252 61 88 0 161 JUST BECAUSE (1228) CLIFFHOME
UNZOE THE SHAMAN 31-4940 28 12 0 161 THE STORMGUARDS (132) CHIMLEVTAL
-BULL DURHAM 5-4324 30 15 1 160 PARTY ANIMALS (591) KALTOS
BLOOD PIE 96-1918 19 19 5 158 WHY SELL THIS? (1390) OLD VALAMANTIS
GRAND ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
SCRAPPLE 97-1961 21 17 3 142 WHY SELL THIS? (1391) SHADOW GROVE
CADAL 35-1370 42 85 4 141 CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415) MURSKA
MATH OP OWAIN 35-1418 38 79 1 138 CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415) MURSKA
OWAIN HARLSON 35-3130 25 32 1 131 CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415) MURSKA
GRAND ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
PUMPING ON STEEL 82--32315 18 17 0 123 NO RESPECT II (1399) DWES EG
-THE SINGING BANDIT 11-6349 30 36 0 119 GERFEL'S FRIENDS (516) ARUAK CITY
HEBEE 38-4359 28 38 0 118 ALL FINESSE (1236) CLIFFHOME
-HUNZICKER BOWL 23-4182 37 20 1 117 SKI TAOS (1070) TI
TAVIS CADFALSON 35-1419 32 85 2 111 CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415) MURSKA
HARLEY THE CADAVER 18-5366 29 52 3 104 STREET PIZZA (173) TALCAMA
GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
MISCHIEVOUS IMP 1-7627 33 19 3 95 SWEORDMASTERS (1210) MORDANT
SUGARBEET 7-5219 32 34 1 94 SUGAR AND SPICE (1231) BONSUR
GRAND INITIATES W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
VANISH 73-4633 21 7 1 90 THE INANIMATES (1361) ERINIKA
BLOODY BRAINLESS 96-2206 13 14 3 72 BLOODY RANDOMNESS (1405) OLD VALAMANTIS
JAMES MADISON 99-1268 11 6 3 68 DEAD PRESIDENTS, YO (1412) SOUTH RIDGE
AIM SEDUCE HAMMER 17-6815 23 7 1 56 AIM 4 ISLE HAMMERZ (1414) ALJAFIR
OPAI 47-5735 16 6 0 56 DARK PINNACLE (1411) NORTH FORK
JOHN WAYNE HAMMER 42-4213 18 27 2 53 KLK RANGE HAMMERZ (1408) RODEKI
-ULTHAR UTHERYDES 31-5682 15 6 0 51 THE STORMGUARDS (132) CHIMLEVTAL
HUW AP HUW 35-3030 20 44 0 48 CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415) MURSKA
-SMOKESCREEN 47-5944 11 3 2 38 DARQUE FORCES (1410) NORTH FORK
'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.
THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN
PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE
We were feeling rather discouraged, but Jorja told us--she has a very forceful way
about her, to "write personals as though you expected every gladiator and every
manager to scrutinize them carefully and debate each point." So, here goes. -- Math
op Owain, prepared to give matters, at the least, his second-best shot
The Singing Bandit -- I'm not much for song myself, regardless of Huw's comment, I
can't carry a tune in a bucket, a basket, or on a silver tray, but I blow a good
gallon jug. If you ever need one in your backup band, give me a call. In the mean
time, listen for me blowing the low notes out in the audience. -- Tavis Cadfalson
Bull Durham -- Whew! Not only are you a menace in a china shop, it's almost
impossible to get that smell out of the curtains. No wonder your housekeeper sends
you out to fight, it's probably the only chance she gets to air out the guildhouse.
-- Cadal
Blood Pie -- I don't know that I'd go so far as to ask that question, but then again,
maybe I would. It certainly isn't to my taste. -- Owain Harlson
P.S. Now, if it was lemon pie, it would be another matter entirely.
P.P.S. Heck, even pumpkin!
Sugarbeet -- You're a menace to the dental health of the Isle, and nobody else was
doing anything so... I took it upon myself to straighten you out. I don't suppose it
was a lasting lesson, but I had to do something. -- Math op Owain
John Wayne Hammer -- You do realize that you're a menace? You're too sure of your
own rectitude, and nothing closes a mind more obstinately than self-righetous
certainty. Work on tolerance, and even (gasp) doubt. Doubt is the greatest gift the
gods ever gave us. -- Huw ap Huw
Olaf -- I can hold my liquor very well, thanks. I have any number of vessels for
that purpose. I just don't like to drink it. Liquor is a crime against defenseless
fruits and vegateables and grains. -- Cadal
There are some fruits, vegetables, and grains that DESERVE the insult of being
made into alcohol. -- Olaf
The Regional Arena News is down for repairs but will return soon.
22 December 2007
All -- Just that tired old reminder to check your e-mail settings when you send ads
and such. Please send stuff as plain text rather than as HTML or formatted text.
HAL, being the simple golem it is, doesn't know what to do with anything other than
plain text. Note, this also means it doesn't know what to do with "smart" or "curly"
quotes, whether single or double, em-dashes (rendered here as two hyphens "--") or
everyone's favourite ellipsis (..., aka three dots). -- A public self-service
announcement from your Ed.
LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS
TENACIOUS unbelievably bested MOD COD in a 3 minute Challenge Title fight.
PUMPING ON STEELE slimly won victory over TAVIS CADFALSON in a 3 minute battle.
HEBEE was overpowered by SCRAPPLE in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge duel.
SUGARBEET was viciously subdued by HARLEY THE CADAVER in a 3 minute Challenge fight.
VANISH devastated BLOODY BRAINLESS in a popular 1 minute uneven Challenge brawl.
CAT IN THE HAT was devastated by NAIHREN in a 1 minute mismatched match.
HEAD CHEESE handily defeated OWAIN HARLSON in a action packed 3 minute uneven melee.
UNZOE THE SHAMAN slimly won victory over CADAL in a action packed 4 minute fight.
BLOOD PIE narrowly defeated MATH OP OWAIN in a exciting 2 minute fight.
GAR & BRILL handily defeated SLICK STEPHAN in a exciting 1 minute one-sided bout.
JAMES MADISON demolished HUW AP HUW in a 2 minute bloody mismatched competition.
OPAI was demolished by MISCHIEVOUS IMP in a 1 minute mismatched match.
JOHN WAYNE HAMMER was beaten by LAKE SAILOR in a 1 minute conflict.
AIM SEDUCE HAMMER handily defeated LAKE SAILOR in a 1 minute uneven fight.
BATTLE REPORT
MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS
|FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT|
|STRIKING ATTACK 5 PARRY-LUNGE 13 - 5 - 0 72 |
|PARRY-STRIKE 4 SLASHING ATTACK 14 - 9 - 0 61 |
|LUNGING ATTACK 4 LUNGING ATTACK 40 - 28 - 1 59 |
|TOTAL PARRY 3 WALL OF STEEL 24 - 18 - 0 57 |
|AIMED BLOW 3 TOTAL PARRY 18 - 21 - 0 46 |
|BASHING ATTACK 3 STRIKING ATTACK 31 - 38 - 2 45 |
|PARRY-LUNGE 1 AIMED BLOW 21 - 28 - 0 43 |
|WALL OF STEEL 1 PARRY-STRIKE 10 - 15 - 0 40 |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE 0 BASHING ATTACK 6 - 15 - 0 29 |
|SLASHING ATTACK 0 PARRY-RIPOSTE 0 - 0 - 0 0 |
Turn 471 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are:
PARRY-LUNGE 1 - 0 STRIKING ATTACK 1 - 4 4 STRIKING ATTACK
TOTAL PARRY 3 - 0 PARRY-RIPOSTE 0 - 0 2 TOTAL PARRY
WALL OF STEEL 1 - 0 SLASHING ATTACK 0 - 0 2 WALL OF STEEL
AIMED BLOW 2 - 1 BASHING ATTACK 0 - 3 1 LUNGING ATTACK
PARRY-STRIKE 2 - 2 1 SLASHING ATTACK
LUNGING ATTACK 2 - 2 1 AIMED BLOW
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE
FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME
TOTAL PARRY TENACIOUS 7-5337 60 32 1 208 BATHTUB ARMADA (1196)
LUNGING ATTACK MOD COD 55-2638 97 125 3 205 RHYME TYME (449)
STRIKING ATTACK CAT IN THE HAT 24-3103 57 22 1 190 THE SEUSS HEUSS (804)
PARRY-STRIKE UNZOE THE SHAMAN 31-4940 28 12 0 161 THE STORMGUARDS (132)
FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME
PARRY-LUNGE SCRAPPLE 97-1961 21 17 3 142 WHY SELL THIS? (1391)
BASHING ATTACK CADAL 35-1370 42 85 4 141 CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)
WALL OF STEEL PUMPING ON STEE 82--32315 18 17 0 123 NO RESPECT II (1399)
AIMED BLOW HARLEY THE CADAVE 18-5366 29 52 3 104 STREET PIZZA (173)
The overall popularity leader is MOD COD 55-2638. The most popular warrior this turn
was MOD COD 55-2638. The ten other most popular fighters were TAVIS CADFALSON
35-1419, CADAL 35-1370, HARLEY THE CADAVER 18-5366, UNZOE THE SHAMAN 31-4940, MATH OP
OWAIN 35-1418, SUGARBEET 7-5219, VANISH 73-4633, OWAIN HARLSON 35-3130, BLOOD PIE
96-1918, and PUMPING ON STEELE 82--32315.
The least popular fighter this week was JOHN WAYNE HAMMER 42-4213. The other ten
least popular fighters were OPAI 47-5735, HUW AP HUW 35-3030, HEBEE 38-4359,
MISCHIEVOUS IMP 1-7627, CAT IN THE HAT 24-3103, SCRAPPLE 97-1961, AIM SEDUCE HAMMER
17-6815, HEAD CHEESE 96-1920, BLOODY BRAINLESS 96-2206, and TENACIOUS 7-5337.
Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K
MORDANT(1) 1 0 0 MURSKA(35) 0 5 0 ERINIKA(73) 1 0 0
BONSUR(7) 1 1 0 CLIFFHOME(38) 1 1 0 DWES EG(82) 1 0 0
ALJAFIR(17) 1 0 0 RODEKI(42) 0 1 0 OLD VALAMANTIS(96) 2 1 0
TALCAMA(18) 1 0 0 NORTH FORK(47) 0 1 0 SHADOW GROVE(97) 1 0 0
ZORPUNT(24) 0 1 0 KHALANI(55) 0 1 0 SOUTH RIDGE(99) 1 0 0
CHIMLEVTAL(31) 1 0 0
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
MISCHIEVOUS IMP 1-7627 33 19 3 95 SWEORDMASTERS (1210) MORDANT
TENACIOUS 7-5337 60 32 1 208 BATHTUB ARMADA (1196) BONSUR
AIM SEDUCE HAMMER 17-6815 23 7 1 56 AIM 4 ISLE HAMMERZ (1414) ALJAFIR
HARLEY THE CADAVER 18-5366 29 52 3 104 STREET PIZZA (173) TALCAMA
CAT IN THE HAT 24-3103 57 22 1 190 THE SEUSS HEUSS (804) ZORPUNT
UNZOE THE SHAMAN 31-4940 28 12 0 161 THE STORMGUARDS (132) CHIMLEVTAL
CADAL 35-1370 42 85 4 141 CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415) MURSKA
GAR & BRILL 38-4252 61 88 0 161 JUST BECAUSE (1228) CLIFFHOME
JOHN WAYNE HAMMER 42-4213 18 27 2 53 KLK RANGE HAMMERZ (1408) RODEKI
OPAI 47-5735 16 6 0 56 DARK PINNACLE (1411) NORTH FORK
MOD COD 55-2638 97 125 3 205 RHYME TYME (449) KHALANI
VANISH 73-4633 21 7 1 90 THE INANIMATES (1361) ERINIKA
PUMPING ON STEEL 82--32315 18 17 0 123 NO RESPECT II (1399) DWES EG
HEAD CHEESE 96-1920 25 13 3 162 WHY SELL THIS? (1390) OLD VALAMANTIS
SCRAPPLE 97-1961 21 17 3 142 WHY SELL THIS? (1391) SHADOW GROVE
JAMES MADISON 99-1268 11 6 3 68 DEAD PRESIDENTS, YO (1412) SOUTH RIDGE