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Date   : 12/10/2008    Duedate: 12/23/2008

HOME GUARD

DM-101    TURN-495

RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %  RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %
  1 MENAGERIE 26/1137      54   28  1 65.9    4 COLLUSION 97/1426     335  311  3 51.9
    THE ILLUMINATI 25/1179                      BATHTUB ARMADA 7/1196                 
    CAER SIDHE 41/1218                        5 SEA DOGS 18/426        30   32  0 48.4
  2 WHY SELL THI 97/1391  620  481  4 56.3      SEA DOGS 51/1440                      
    DEAD PRESIDENTS, YO 99/1412                 SEA DOGS 36/1450                      
    WHY SELL THIS? 96/1390                      SEA DOGS 21/1446                      
    BLOODY RANDOMNESS 96/1405                   DUNGEON CELL 66 82/1441               
  3 D-DAY SQUAD 34/1449    65   51  1 56.0      SEA DOGS 1/1442                       
    OTAGO HIGHLANDERS 14/1444                   DUNGEON CELL 24 82/1456               
    KIWI CONNECTION 73/1453                     DUNGEON CELL 21 82/1455               
    ALL-STAR NANA'S 67/1451                     DUNGEON CELL 508C 99/1457             
    ALL THE MUN'S MEN 37/355                  6 JUST BECAUSE 38/1228  457  616  9 42.6
    BLACK & BLUE 73/1454                      7 CHILDREN OF  35/1415  627 1046  7 37.5
    D-DAY SQUAD 12/1443                       8 PHILANTHROPI 35/1374    0    2  0  0.0
    ALL THE MUN'S MEN 24/1447                   PHILANTHROPISTS 3 35/1395             
    100% NATURAL GROOVE 20/1445                 PHILANTHROPISTS 25/1448               
    THE FAMILY TREE 73/1452               

    '##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id     '-'  Team did not fight this turn

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

     Ah, the pleasures of the first cycle of fights post-Split.  At least, I think
that's what we had today.  Sometimes it's hard to be sure.  It isn't like the
Commission sees any reason to TELL me these things, after all.  Hmm, perhaps that's a
backhanded compliment on my wit?  I'm supposed to be able to figure it out, perhaps.
Whatever.
     We had seventeen fights with only three standbys, which is VERY good.  I salute
everyone who turned up and hope you stay active until the next Split.  Bring your
friends.
     There were no challenges and no avoids.  After all, no way to be sure who'd
still be here, eh?

     ABBOTT (14-4131) (18-6-2,60) of OTAGO HIGHLANDERS fought PRISONER BG11 (99-1620)
(7-6-4,21) of DUNGEON CELL 508C.  ABBOTT savagely defeated PRISONER BG11 in a crowd
pleasing 2 minute bloody fight.  Both new here, I believe, and in fact, new on the
Isle.  Well, I take it back, the Prisoner may have been here last time, but they all
look alike, you know?
     OWAIN HARLSON (35-3130) (29-51-1,45) of CHILDREN OF LLYR fought KNOTHANDLER (21-
6555) (17-8-2,41) of SEA DOGS.  OWAIN HARLSON overpowered KNOTHANDLER in an exciting
1 minute brutal one-sided bout.  Doubtless an experience pleasant for its rarity for
Owain.  Winning, you know.
     OH OHLISH OMINAH (35-3912) (14-10-2,54) of PHILANTHROPISTS 3 fought SHEWISH
WHALER (18-9272) (26-14-1,90) of SEA DOGS.  OH OHLISH OMINAH was bested by SHEWISH
WHALER in a crowd pleasing 3 minute brawl.  I don't know about the Shewish Whaler,
sorry, but after a while, all you gladiators tend to blur together (it would help me
keep you separate if you talked), but I know I haven't seen OH here before.  An
unusual name is almost as good as a penchant for personals to make a gladiator
memorable.
     PATCH (36-7297) (17-14-0,51) of SEA DOGS fought HUW AP HUW (35-3030) (21-66-
0,45) of CHILDREN OF LLYR.  PATCH vanquished HUW AP HUW in a 1 minute one-sided fray.
More like sea wolves than dogs, I think.  Very determined on the sands.  Of course,
you should be.  That's why you're there.  It isn't a pink-sugar tea party.
     BILGE RAT (51-5334) (19-4-1,67) of SEA DOGS fought LAKE SAILOR (101-2) (0-0-
0,30) of Various Odds and Bodds.  BILGE RAT overpowered LAKE SAILOR in a crowd
pleasing 1 minute one-sided duel.  Is there some rule of the sea that allows a rat to
get away with sinking the ship that it intends to desert?  Not my thing, sea stuff,
so I wouldn't really know.
     PRISONER 0327 (82-40997) (14-13-2,41) of DUNGEON CELL 66 fought MEAN SPIRIT
(101-5) (0-0-0,70) of Various Odds and Bodds.  PRISONER 0327 was viciously subdued by
MEAN SPIRIT in a crowd pleasing 1 minute bout.  Ho, you think we call it a MEAN
Spirit as a joke?  In the immortal words of Debby Tonte, As if!

     PRISONER 0103 (82-33733) (29-57-0,80) of DUNGEON CELL 21 fought SNOTMAN (97-
2611) (19-10-5,88) of COLLUSION.  PRISONER 0103 was devastated by SNOTMAN in an
exciting 1 minute mismatched conflict.  Slimed, how horrid.  Still, with enough
slime, could a prisoner not just SLIDE out of the cell?
     SANDMAN (97-2610) (20-9-4,96) of COLLUSION fought ZEBZAMBEZI (35-3581) (14-7-
3,52) of PHILANTHROPISTS.  SANDMAN overpowered ZEBZAMBEZI in a 1 minute one-sided
match.  Another newcommer.  I am quite sure I would have remembered anybody with a
name like Zebzambezi.
     MAKESHIFT ANCHOR (1-7724) (32-40-0,149) of SEA DOGS fought KARATIA (73-3624)
(21-5-1,100) of KIWI CONNECTION.  MAKESHIFT ANCHOR was savagely defeated by KARATIA
in an action packed 2 minute match.  Sometimes makeshift is not good enough.  I don't
actually recall whether Makeshift is new here, these sea dogs all seem to look alike.
Which is odd when you consider the range of sizes and races.
     CADAL (35-1370) (50-100-4,136) of CHILDREN OF LLYR fought KISSYFUR (67-2187)
(27-15-1,150) of ALL-STAR NANA'S.  CADAL was vanquished by KISSYFUR in a 1 minute
one-sided duel.  Yes, but he (Cadal) got to kiss the Kissyfur, didn't he?  That might
make up for a lot.
     U.S.S. ARIZONA (34-2643) (25-18-1,143) of D-DAY SQUAD fought GAR & BRILL (38-
4252) (68-104-0,146) of JUST BECAUSE.  U.S.S. ARIZONA unbelievably bested GAR & BRILL
in a 2 minute gory duel.  Just because U.S.S. is new here is no reason to DOUBT its
performance.

     PRISONER 0118 (82-33748) (22-52-0,113) of DUNGEON CELL 24 fought BLOODY
BRAINLESS (96-2206) (24-26-4,126) of BLOODY RANDOMNESS.  PRISONER 0118 was handily
defeated by BLOODY BRAINLESS in a 1 minute uneven fight.  Clearly, though Bloody may
have been brainless (this is debatable), he wasn't handless, having enough of them
"on hand" to do the job.
     BALLAST (1-7727) (29-41-0,164) of SEA DOGS fought JAMES MADISON (99-1268) (25-
15-3,180) of DEAD PRESIDENTS, YO.  BALLAST was vanquished by JAMES MADISON in an
exciting 2 minute mismatched fight.  Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum on a dead
president's chest?  Not today.
     GWYN AP NUDD (41-1210) (30-7-0,153) of CAER SIDHE fought MATH OP OWAIN (35-1418)
(49-91-1,166) of CHILDREN OF LLYR.  GWYN AP NUDD overpowered MATH OP OWAIN in a crowd
pleasing 2 minute mismatched match.  Ah, now I know we've seen this one before.  At
least, I think we have.
     SILHOUETTE (26-2006) (31-12-1,194) of MENAGERIE fought GOLDENBEARD (21-6202)
(28-6-1,202) of SEA DOGS.  SILHOUETTE was viciously subdued by GOLDENBEARD in a crowd
pleasing 2 minute brawl.  Damn, my spies are letting me down, I was trying to find
out if Goldenbeard was actually "tall, blond, and handsome," and they don't KNOW!
How tedious of them.
     BATMUN (37-2634) (36-14-0,433) of ALL THE MUN'S MEN fought NAIHREN (101-27) (0-
0-0,240) of Various Odds and Bodds.  BATMUN was vanquished by NAIHREN in an exciting
3 minute gory uneven battle.  I don't think I've seen this Bat character around here
recently.  A little cold for night flying, isn't it?

For the title:
     HEAD CHEESE (96-1920) (42-19-3,227) of WHY SELL THIS? fought TAVIS CADFALSON
(35-1419) (41-99-3,208) of CHILDREN OF LLYR.  HEAD CHEESE bested TAVIS CADFALSON in a
crowd pleasing 5 minute Title fight.  Well, this is the position for the HEAD cheese,
so I guess this makes some kind of sense.  Congratulations.

                                        Olaf

CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD          W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 HEAD CHEESE 96-1920         43  19  3  233  WHY SELL THIS? (1390)      OLD VALAMANTIS

GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 GOLDENBEARD 21-6202         29   6  1  218  SEA DOGS (1446)            SUNSET

GRAND CHAMPIONS               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 TAVIS CADFALSON 35-1419     41 100  3  204  CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)    MURSKA
 SILHOUETTE 26-2006          31  13  1  197  MENAGERIE (1137)           CALEAM
-HORTATOR 1-7791             30  33  3  197  SEA DOGS (1442)            MORDANT
 BATMUN 37-2634              36  15  0  191  ALL THE MUN'S MEN (355)    SIBIKHAS
 JAMES MADISON 99-1268       26  15  3  189  DEAD PRESIDENTS, YO (1412) SOUTH RIDGE

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 GWYN AP NUDD 41-1210        31   7  0  173  CAER SIDHE (1218)          KATI-TEI
 BALLAST 1-7727              29  42  0  161  SEA DOGS (1442)            MORDANT
 KISSYFUR 67-2187            28  15  1  157  ALL-STAR NANA'S (1451)     BARIKALA
 MATH OP OWAIN 35-1418       49  92  1  156  CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)    MURSKA
 U.S.S. ARIZONA 34-2643      26  18  1  151  D-DAY SQUAD (1449)         MONUNTIAL

GRAND ADEPTS                  W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 GAR & BRILL 38-4252         68 105  0  142  JUST BECAUSE (1228)        CLIFFHOME
 BLOODY BRAINLESS 96-2206    25  26  4  134  BLOODY RANDOMNESS (1405)   OLD VALAMANTIS
 CADAL 35-1370               50 101  4  133  CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)    MURSKA
 KARATIA 73-3624             22   5  1  133  KIWI CONNECTION (1453)     ERINIKA
-MISS TEAK 1-8015            30  25  1  126  SEA DOGS (1442)            MORDANT
 MAKESHIFT ANCHOR 1-7724     32  41  0  123  SEA DOGS (1442)            MORDANT
 PRISONER 0118 82--31788     22  53  0  106  DUNGEON CELL 24 (1456)     DWES EG

GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 SANDMAN 97-2610             21   9  4  100  COLLUSION (1426)           SHADOW GROVE
 SNOTMAN 97-2611             20  10  5   97  COLLUSION (1426)           SHADOW GROVE
 SHEWISH WHALER 18-9272      27  14  1   92  SEA DOGS (426)             TALCAMA

GRAND INITIATES               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 PRISONER 0103 82--31803     29  58  0   75  DUNGEON CELL 21 (1455)     DWES EG
 BILGE RAT 51-5334           20   4  1   69  SEA DOGS (1440)            TRICORUS
 ABBOTT 14-4131              19   6  2   62  OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (1444)   TOBIR
 OH OHLISH OMINAH 35-3912    14  11  2   61  PHILANTHROPISTS 3 (1395)   MURSKA
 OWAIN HARLSON 35-3130       30  51  1   60  CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)    MURSKA
 PATCH 36-7297               18  14  0   59  SEA DOGS (1450)            JHANS
 ZEBZAMBEZI 35-3581          14   8  3   56  PHILANTHROPISTS (1374)     MURSKA
 PRISONER 0327 82--24539     14  14  2   43  DUNGEON CELL 66 (1441)     DWES EG
 HUW AP HUW 35-3030          21  67  0   38  CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)    MURSKA
 KNOTHANDLER 21-6555         17   9  2   32  SEA DOGS (1446)            SUNSET
 PRISONER BG11 99-1620        7   7  4   29  DUNGEON CELL 508C (1457)   SOUTH RIDGE

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                   W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY                  TURN

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

To those whom we fought -- Good fight. -- We who fought you

     And I can't find it in me to bash 'em for that fulsome communication, either. --
     Olaf

One page newsletters?  Bah! -- Jorja

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

HEAD CHEESE bested TAVIS CADFALSON in a crowd pleasing 5 minute Title fight.
BATMUN was vanquished by NAIHREN in a exciting 3 minute gory uneven battle.
SILHOUETTE was viciously subdued by GOLDENBEARD in a crowd pleasing 2 minute brawl.
GWYN AP NUDD overpowered MATH OP OWAIN in a crowd pleasing 2 minute mismatched match.
BALLAST was vanquished by JAMES MADISON in a exciting 2 minute mismatched fight.
PRISONER 0118 was handily defeated by BLOODY BRAINLESS in a 1 minute uneven fight.
U.S.S. ARIZONA unbelievably bested GAR & BRILL in a 2 minute gory duel.
CADAL was vanquished by KISSYFUR in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
MAKESHIFT ANCHOR was savagely defeated by KARATIA in a action packed 2 minute match.
SANDMAN overpowered ZEBZAMBEZI in a 1 minute one-sided match.
PRISONER 0103 was devastated by SNOTMAN in a exciting 1 minute mismatched conflict.
PRISONER 0327 was viciously subdued by MEAN SPIRIT in a crowd pleasing 1 minute bout.
BILGE RAT overpowered LAKE SAILOR in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided duel.
PATCH vanquished HUW AP HUW in a 1 minute one-sided fray.
OH OHLISH OMINAH was bested by SHEWISH WHALER in a crowd pleasing 3 minute brawl.
OWAIN HARLSON overpowered KNOTHANDLER in a exciting 1 minute brutal one-sided bout.
ABBOTT savagely defeated PRISONER BG11 in a crowd pleasing 2 minute bloody fight.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                   6         WALL OF STEEL      1 -   0 -  0     100  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      6         SLASHING ATTACK    7 -   2 -  0      78  |
|AIMED BLOW                       5         PARRY-RIPOSTE      8 -   3 -  0      73  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  4         PARRY-LUNGE        6 -   3 -  0      67  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     4         LUNGING ATTACK    24 -  14 -  0      63  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         TOTAL PARRY       20 -  15 -  1      57  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   2         PARRY-STRIKE      17 -  22 -  0      44  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  1         STRIKING ATTACK   10 -  22 -  0      31  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    1         BASHING ATTACK     3 -   8 -  0      27  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      0         AIMED BLOW         2 -   7 -  0      22  |

Turn 495 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

SLASHING ATTACK    1 -  0     AIMED BLOW         1 -  4         4  TOTAL PARRY    
WALL OF STEEL      1 -  0     TOTAL PARRY        1 -  5         3  LUNGING ATTACK 
LUNGING ATTACK     5 -  1     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  0         2  PARRY-STRIKE   
STRIKING ATTACK    3 -  1     BASHING ATTACK     0 -  2         1  BASHING ATTACK 
PARRY-STRIKE       2 -  2                                       1  PARRY-RIPOSTE  
PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  1     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
TOTAL PARRY      HEAD CHEESE 96-1920        43  19  3  233 WHY SELL THIS? (1390)
LUNGING ATTACK   GOLDENBEARD 21-6202        29   6  1  218 SEA DOGS (1446)
PARRY-STRIKE     JAMES MADISON 99-1268      26  15  3  189 DEAD PRESIDENTS, YO (1412)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    GWYN AP NUDD 41-1210       31   7  0  173 CAER SIDHE (1218)
WALL OF STEEL    U.S.S. ARIZONA 34-2643     26  18  1  151 D-DAY SQUAD (1449)
STRIKING ATTACK  GAR & BRILL 38-4252        68 105  0  142 JUST BECAUSE (1228)
BASHING ATTACK   CADAL 35-1370              50 101  4  133 CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)
AIMED BLOW       KARATIA 73-3624            22   5  1  133 KIWI CONNECTION (1453)
SLASHING ATTACK  SNOTMAN 97-2611            20  10  5   97 COLLUSION (1426)

The overall popularity leader is GAR & BRILL 38-4252.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was TAVIS CADFALSON 35-1419.  The ten other most popular fighters were 
GOLDENBEARD 21-6202, JAMES MADISON 99-1268, KARATIA 73-3624, SHEWISH WHALER 18-9272, 
ABBOTT 14-4131, GWYN AP NUDD 41-1210, SNOTMAN 97-2611, BILGE RAT 51-5334, HEAD CHEESE 
96-1920, and BATMUN 37-2634.

The least popular fighter this week was HUW AP HUW 35-3030.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were ZEBZAMBEZI 35-3581, CADAL 35-1370, PRISONER BG11 99-1620, 
PRISONER 0327 82--24539, PRISONER 0103 82--31803, SILHOUETTE 26-2006, KNOTHANDLER 
21-6555, OH OHLISH OMINAH 35-3912, PATCH 36-7297, and MAKESHIFT ANCHOR 1-7724.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
MORDANT(1)           0  2 0  MURSKA(35)           1  6 0  BARIKALA(67)         1  0 0  
TOBIR(14)            1  0 0  JHANS(36)            1  0 0  ERINIKA(73)          1  0 0  
TALCAMA(18)          1  0 0  SIBIKHAS(37)         0  1 0  DWES EG(82)          0  3 0  
SUNSET(21)           1  1 0  CLIFFHOME(38)        0  1 0  OLD VALAMANTIS(96)   2  0 0  
CALEAM(26)           0  1 0  KATI-TEI(41)         1  0 0  SHADOW GROVE(97)     2  0 0  
MONUNTIAL(34)        1  0 0  TRICORUS(51)         1  0 0  SOUTH RIDGE(99)      1  1 0  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 BALLAST 1-7727              29  42  0  161  SEA DOGS (1442)            MORDANT
 ABBOTT 14-4131              19   6  2   62  OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (1444)   TOBIR
 SHEWISH WHALER 18-9272      27  14  1   92  SEA DOGS (426)             TALCAMA
 GOLDENBEARD 21-6202         29   6  1  218  SEA DOGS (1446)            SUNSET
 SILHOUETTE 26-2006          31  13  1  197  MENAGERIE (1137)           CALEAM
 U.S.S. ARIZONA 34-2643      26  18  1  151  D-DAY SQUAD (1449)         MONUNTIAL
 TAVIS CADFALSON 35-1419     41 100  3  204  CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)    MURSKA
 PATCH 36-7297               18  14  0   59  SEA DOGS (1450)            JHANS
 BATMUN 37-2634              36  15  0  191  ALL THE MUN'S MEN (355)    SIBIKHAS
 GAR & BRILL 38-4252         68 105  0  142  JUST BECAUSE (1228)        CLIFFHOME
 GWYN AP NUDD 41-1210        31   7  0  173  CAER SIDHE (1218)          KATI-TEI
 BILGE RAT 51-5334           20   4  1   69  SEA DOGS (1440)            TRICORUS
 KISSYFUR 67-2187            28  15  1  157  ALL-STAR NANA'S (1451)     BARIKALA
 KARATIA 73-3624             22   5  1  133  KIWI CONNECTION (1453)     ERINIKA
 PRISONER 0118 82--31788     22  53  0  106  DUNGEON CELL 24 (1456)     DWES EG
 HEAD CHEESE 96-1920         43  19  3  233  WHY SELL THIS? (1390)      OLD VALAMANTIS
 SANDMAN 97-2610             21   9  4  100  COLLUSION (1426)           SHADOW GROVE
 JAMES MADISON 99-1268       26  15  3  189  DEAD PRESIDENTS, YO (1412) SOUTH RIDGE

                        WINTER FACE-TO-FACE IN SUNNY ARIZONA!

Our next Winter FTF will be held in Tempe, Arizona, January 16-18, 2009.  It will be 
held at the Fiesta Resort in Tempe, AZ at 2100 South Priest Drive, Tempe, 85282
(480-967-1441).  Rooms are only $139.00 per night, 1-2 occupancy.  There is a free 
24-hour shuttle from the airport, free parking, free high-speed wireless internet
in all guest rooms.  There is a fitness center with cardiovascular and weight-lifting 
equipment, a heated swimming pool and jacuzzi, with poolside beverage delivery.  They 
have a bustling happy hour in the Kachina lounge, with complimentary hors d'oeuvres.
There are tons of restaurants nearby at the Mall, a Denny's across the street, and 
several fast food options nearby as well, as well as a restaurant in the hotel with 
room service.  

If you arrive early or stay late, don't forget that there is excellent golfing in 
the Phoenix area, with several championship courses nearby.  Winter is an excellent 
time to explore Arizona with a trip to the Grand Canyon or Sedona or any of our 
other scenic sites across the state.  

Hotel info:  http://www.fiestainnresort.com

The rooms are blocked--ask for the "Reality Simulations" room block.  

The tournament information sheet will be out imminently.  We hope you're all looking 
forward to the tournament and that we will see you there!