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Date   : 12/24/2008    Duedate: 01/06/2009

HOME GUARD

DM-101    TURN-496

RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %  RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %
  1-MENAGERIE 26/1137      54   28  1 65.9      MEAT YOUR MAKER 72/1439               
    THE ILLUMINATI 25/1179                    5 COLLUSION 97/1426     337  311  4 52.0
    CAER SIDHE 41/1218                          BATHTUB ARMADA 7/1196                 
  2 WHY SELL THI 97/1391  623  481  4 56.4    6 SEA DOGS 18/426        36   40  0 47.4
    DEAD PRESIDENTS, YO 99/1412                 SEA DOGS 51/1440                      
    WHY SELL THIS? 96/1390                      SEA DOGS 36/1450                      
    BLOODY RANDOMNESS 96/1405                   SEA DOGS 1/1442                       
  3 D-DAY SQUAD 34/1449    66   55  1 54.5      DUNGEON CELL 66 82/1441               
    ALL THE MUN'S MEN 37/355                    SEA DOGS 21/1446                      
    OTAGO HIGHLANDERS 14/1444                   DUNGEON CELL 508C 99/1457             
    ALL-STAR NANA'S 67/1451                     DUNGEON CELL 21 82/1455               
    KIWI CONNECTION 73/1453                     DUNGEON CELL 24 82/1456               
    D-DAY SQUAD 12/1443                       7 JUST BECAUSE 38/1228  457  617  9 42.6
    THE FAMILY TREE 73/1452                   8 CHILDREN OF  35/1415  631 1047  7 37.6
    ALL THE MUN'S MEN 24/1447                 9 PHILANTHROPI 35/1374    0    4  0  0.0
    100% NATURAL GROOVE 20/1445                 PHILANTHROPISTS 3 35/1395             
    BLACK & BLUE 73/1454                        PHILANTHROPISTS 25/1448               
  4 CHAPEL ROCK 59/1352   969  850 15 53.3

    '##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id     '-'  Team did not fight this turn

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

     Okay, the office of the Commission says "Rush this, Olaf."  Something about the
sun having finally stopped heading south and considering a return northward, and
everyone wants a holiday.  I can work with that.

So, short and simple:
     No one was Most Avoided.  In fact, no one was avoided at all.
     Huw ap Huw got the most challenges, and no surprise there.
     Nineteen fights, four of them involving standbys, but still, this is GOOD.  Six
challenges.

     KNOTHANDLER (21-6555) (17-9-2,32) of SEA DOGS fought MEAN SPIRIT (101-5) (0-0-
0,70) of Various Odds and Bods.  KNOTHANDLER was handily defeated by MEAN SPIRIT in a
1 minute mismatched competition.
     PRISONER 0327 (82-40997) (14-14-2,43) of DUNGEON CELL 66 fought LAKE SAILOR
(101-2) (0-0-0,30) of Various Odds and Bods.  PRISONER 0327 narrowly defeated LAKE
SAILOR in an exciting 3 minute gory bout.
     And there's half our standbys out of the way in the first two fights.
     PATCH (36-7297) (18-14-0,59) of SEA DOGS fought ABBOTT (14-4131) (19-6-2,62) of
OTAGO HIGHLANDERS.  PATCH overpowered ABBOTT in a 1 minute one-sided bout.

     PRISONER 0103 (82-33733) (29-58-0,75) of DUNGEON CELL 21 fought B&G BOUNCER
(101-3) (0-0-0,30) of Various Odds and Bods.  PRISONER 0103 was bested by B&G BOUNCER
in a 2 minute brawl.
     BILGE RAT (51-5334) (20-4-1,69) of SEA DOGS fought HERMY (101-4) (0-0-0,50) of
Various Odds and Bods.  BILGE RAT viciously subdued HERMY in an exciting 3 minute
bloody fray.
     And the rest of the standbys have been and done their thing and gone.  Two-two
for the standbys.  There are managed teams that would be glad to achieve that
win/loss ratio.
     PORKY PIG (72-5953) (15-6-2,53) of MEAT YOUR MAKER fought PRISONER BG11 (99-
1620) (7-7-4,29) of DUNGEON CELL 508C.  PORKY PIG savagely defeated PRISONER BG11 in
a popular 3 minute bloody duel.
     BLOODY BRAINLESS (96-2206) (25-26-4,134) of BLOODY RANDOMNESS fought SHEWISH
WHALER (18-9272) (27-14-1,92) of SEA DOGS.  BLOODY BRAINLESS overpowered SHEWISH
WHALER in a 1 minute mismatched conflict.  This Shewish Whaler should be a standby,
with a name like that.
     SHEWISH CORSAIR (18-9237) (21-8-2,102) of SEA DOGS fought GAR & BRILL (38-4252)
(68-105-0,142) of JUST BECAUSE.  SHEWISH CORSAIR devastated GAR & BRILL in a crowd
pleasing 1 minute one-sided battle.

     MISS TEAK (1-8015) (30-25-1,126) of SEA DOGS fought CADAL (35-1370) (50-101-
4,133) of CHILDREN OF LLYR.  MISS TEAK was subdued by CADAL in a crowd pleasing 3
minute bloody match.
     MATH OP OWAIN (35-1418) (49-92-1,156) of CHILDREN OF LLYR fought PRISONER 0118
(82-33748) (22-53-0,106) of DUNGEON CELL 24.  MATH OP OWAIN savagely defeated
PRISONER 0118 in a popular 3 minute gory melee.
     KISSYFUR (67-2187) (28-15-1,157) of ALL-STAR NANA'S fought BALLAST (1-7727) (29-
42-0,161) of SEA DOGS.  KISSYFUR lost to BALLAST in a popular 5 minute fight.
     HORTATOR (1-7791) (30-33-3,197) of SEA DOGS fought U.S.S. ARIZONA (34-2643) (26-
18-1,151) of D-DAY SQUAD.  HORTATOR vanquished U.S.S. ARIZONA in a popular 1 minute
gruesome uneven duel.
     JAMES MADISON (99-1268) (26-15-3,189) of DEAD PRESIDENTS, YO fought LONDON
QUIREBOY (59-2513) (27-10-1,207) of CHAPEL ROCK.  JAMES MADISON devastated LONDON
QUIREBOY in a 2 minute one-sided competition.

Listen, I did say it would be short and simple, didn't I?  Warrior listings on the
front page, probably.  Sometimes it works out that way.  Live with it.

The challenges:
     ZEBZAMBEZI (35-3581) (14-8-3,56) of PHILANTHROPISTS challenged HUW AP HUW (35-
3030) (21-67-0,38) of CHILDREN OF LLYR.  Down 18.  ZEBZAMBEZI slimly lost to HUW AP
HUW in a 2 minute Challenge match.
     OH OHLISH OMINAH (35-3912) (14-11-2,61) of PHILANTHROPISTS 3 challenged OWAIN
HARLSON (35-3130) (30-51-1,60) of CHILDREN OF LLYR.  Down 1.  OH OHLISH OMINAH was
devastated by OWAIN HARLSON in a 1 minute Challenge duel.
     SNOTMAN (97-2611) (20-10-5,97) of COLLUSION challenged KARATIA (73-3624) (22-5-
1,133) of KIWI CONNECTION.  Up 26.  SNOTMAN assassinated KARATIA in a 1 minute
mismatched Challenge match.
     SANDMAN (97-2610) (21-9-4,100) of COLLUSION challenged MAKESHIFT ANCHOR (1-7724)
(32-41-0,123) of SEA DOGS.  Up 23.  SANDMAN viciously subdued MAKESHIFT ANCHOR in a 
10 minute Challenge brawl.
     BATMUN (37-2634) (36-15-0,191) of ALL THE MUN'S MEN challenged TAVIS CADFALSON
(35-1419) (41-100-3,204) of CHILDREN OF LLYR.  Up 13.  BATMUN subdued TAVIS CADFALSON
in an exciting 4 minute gory Challenge melee.

And for the title:
     GOLDENBEARD (21-6202) (29-6-1,218) of SEA DOGS challenged HEAD CHEESE (96-1920)
(43-19-3,233) of WHY SELL THIS?.  Up 15.  GOLDENBEARD was bested by HEAD CHEESE in a
6 minute Challenge Title fight.  Good try, Goldenbeard, but this is the HEAD Cheese,
the Big Wheel.  Congratulations to everybody, or at least a salute for showing up.

     See you all next year.

                                        Olaf

CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD          W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 HEAD CHEESE 96-1920         44  19  3  253  WHY SELL THIS? (1390)      OLD VALAMANTIS

GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 JAMES MADISON 99-1268       27  15  3  217  DEAD PRESIDENTS, YO (1412) SOUTH RIDGE

GRAND CHAMPIONS               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 BATMUN 37-2634              37  15  0  204  ALL THE MUN'S MEN (355)    SIBIKHAS
 GOLDENBEARD 21-6202         29   7  1  204  SEA DOGS (1446)            SUNSET
 HORTATOR 1-7791             31  33  3  200  SEA DOGS (1442)            MORDANT
 TAVIS CADFALSON 35-1419     41 101  3  199  CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)    MURSKA
 LONDON QUIREBOY 59-2513     27  11  1  187  CHAPEL ROCK (1352)         ILLIS

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 BALLAST 1-7727              30  42  0  173  SEA DOGS (1442)            MORDANT
 MATH OP OWAIN 35-1418       50  92  1  158  CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)    MURSKA
 KISSYFUR 67-2187            28  16  1  156  ALL-STAR NANA'S (1451)     BARIKALA
 U.S.S. ARIZONA 34-2643      26  19  1  153  D-DAY SQUAD (1449)         MONUNTIAL

GRAND ADEPTS                  W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 SNOTMAN 97-2611             21  10  6  150  COLLUSION (1426)           SHADOW GROVE
 CADAL 35-1370               51 101  4  142  CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)    MURSKA
 BLOODY BRAINLESS 96-2206    26  26  4  140  BLOODY RANDOMNESS (1405)   OLD VALAMANTIS
 SHEWISH CORSAIR 18-9237     22   8  2  133  SEA DOGS (426)             TALCAMA
 MISS TEAK 1-8015            30  26  1  126  SEA DOGS (1442)            MORDANT
 SANDMAN 97-2610             22   9  4  120  COLLUSION (1426)           SHADOW GROVE
 GAR & BRILL 38-4252         68 106  0  116  JUST BECAUSE (1228)        CLIFFHOME
 PRISONER 0118 82--31788     22  54  0  114  DUNGEON CELL 24 (1456)     DWES EG
 MAKESHIFT ANCHOR 1-7724     32  42  0  112  SEA DOGS (1442)            MORDANT
 KARATIA 73-3624             22   6  1  108  KIWI CONNECTION (1453)     ERINIKA

GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 SHEWISH WHALER 18-9272      27  15  1   93  SEA DOGS (426)             TALCAMA

GRAND INITIATES               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 PATCH 36-7297               19  14  0   79  SEA DOGS (1450)            JHANS
 OWAIN HARLSON 35-3130       31  51  1   74  CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)    MURSKA
 BILGE RAT 51-5334           21   4  1   72  SEA DOGS (1440)            TRICORUS
 HUW AP HUW 35-3030          22  67  0   56  CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)    MURSKA
 PORKY PIG 72-5953           16   6  2   55  MEAT YOUR MAKER (1439)     DRAGONHEAD
 ABBOTT 14-4131              19   7  2   51  OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (1444)   TOBIR
 OH OHLISH OMINAH 35-3912    14  12  2   50  PHILANTHROPISTS 3 (1395)   MURSKA
 PRISONER 0103 82--31803     29  59  0   47  DUNGEON CELL 21 (1455)     DWES EG
 PRISONER 0327 82--24539     15  14  2   46  DUNGEON CELL 66 (1441)     DWES EG
 ZEBZAMBEZI 35-3581          14   9  3   43  PHILANTHROPISTS (1374)     MURSKA
 PRISONER BG11 99-1620        7   8  4   33  DUNGEON CELL 508C (1457)   SOUTH RIDGE
 KNOTHANDLER 21-6555         17  10  2   32  SEA DOGS (1446)            SUNSET

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                   W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY                  TURN
KARATIA 73-3624           22   6  1 KIWI CONNECTION 1453   SNOTMAN 97-2611           496

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

Okay, two pages of newsletter, and we don't even have the warrior listings, much less
the personals, on the front page.  I'm going to take this for a good sign, and
seventeen fights for an even better sign. -- Jorja

Head Cheese -- Drat, you're still here.  I was hoping we'd be down to a mere
subordinate cheese.  Oh, well, sufficient unto the day is the cheese thereof, I
suppose.  Unless it's blue or one of the other weird ones.  There are limits, even

for cheese. -- Tavis Cadfalson
P.S.  As to why sell it?  Maybe because you can't give it away?  How else are you
going to get rid of it?

     You shouldn't have bought it in the first place.  Then you wouldn't have to get
     rid of it.

Gwyn ap Nudd -- Definitely not someone I wanted to meet today, much less lose to
today.  There have been threats uttered in my direction, and suspicious hints in the
storyline.  I don't like it. -- Math op Owain

Kissyfur -- With a name like that, you really should be female.  Well, I suppose if
*I* were female, you'd do fine, but still, I have no desire whatsoever to kiss your
fur. -- Cadal

Patch -- I hope you spring a leak! -- Huw ap Huw
P.S.  What did you expect me to say?  That I'm delighted for some young hotshot to
come along and demonstrate publicly that I'm a hopeless pud?

     Yeah, why not?

Knothandler -- That's what happens when you stand there playing with your knots. 
Someone like ME comes along and creams you. -- Owain Harlson
P.S.  And I could do without your comments, Olaf.

     No, you can't.  You'd secretly miss them.  I can tell.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

GOLDENBEARD was bested by HEAD CHEESE in a 6 minute Challenge Title fight.
BATMUN subdued TAVIS CADFALSON in a exciting 4 minute gory Challenge melee.
SANDMAN viciously subdued MAKESHIFT ANCHOR in a 10 minute Challenge brawl.
SNOTMAN assassinated KARATIA in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge match.
OH OHLISH OMINAH was devastated by OWAIN HARLSON in a 1 minute Challenge duel.
ZEBZAMBEZI slimly lost to HUW AP HUW in a 2 minute Challenge match.
JAMES MADISON devastated LONDON QUIREBOY in a 2 minute one-sided competition.
HORTATOR vanquished U.S.S. ARIZONA in a popular 1 minute gruesome uneven duel.
KISSYFUR lost to BALLAST in a popular 5 minute fight.
MATH OP OWAIN savagely defeated PRISONER 0118 in a popular 3 minute gory melee.
MISS TEAK was subdued by CADAL in a crowd pleasing 3 minute bloody match.
SHEWISH CORSAIR devastated GAR & BRILL in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided battle.
BLOODY BRAINLESS overpowered SHEWISH WHALER in a 1 minute mismatched conflict.
PORKY PIG savagely defeated PRISONER BG11 in a popular 3 minute bloody duel.
BILGE RAT viciously subdued HERMY in a exciting 3 minute bloody fray.
PRISONER 0103 was bested by B&G BOUNCER in a 2 minute brawl.
PATCH overpowered ABBOTT in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
PRISONER 0327 narrowly defeated LAKE SAILOR in a exciting 3 minute gory bout.
KNOTHANDLER was handily defeated by MEAN SPIRIT in a 1 minute mismatched competition.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                   7         SLASHING ATTACK    8 -   1 -  1      89  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      5         PARRY-LUNGE        6 -   2 -  0      75  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  5         PARRY-RIPOSTE      7 -   4 -  0      64  |
|AIMED BLOW                       5         LUNGING ATTACK    24 -  18 -  0      57  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     4         TOTAL PARRY       21 -  16 -  1      57  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   4         PARRY-STRIKE      20 -  19 -  0      51  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    2         BASHING ATTACK     6 -   8 -  0      43  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  1         STRIKING ATTACK   12 -  22 -  0      35  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    1         WALL OF STEEL      1 -   2 -  0      33  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      0         AIMED BLOW         1 -  12 -  0       8  |

Turn 496 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-STRIKE       4 -  0     LUNGING ATTACK     2 -  5         3  TOTAL PARRY    
SLASHING ATTACK    1 -  0     AIMED BLOW         0 -  5         3  LUNGING ATTACK 
TOTAL PARRY        4 -  1     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  0         2  PARRY-STRIKE   
BASHING ATTACK     3 -  1     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  1         2  WALL OF STEEL  
STRIKING ATTACK    3 -  2     WALL OF STEEL      0 -  2         1  BASHING ATTACK 

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
TOTAL PARRY      HEAD CHEESE 96-1920        44  19  3  253 WHY SELL THIS? (1390)
PARRY-STRIKE     JAMES MADISON 99-1268      27  15  3  217 DEAD PRESIDENTS, YO (1412)
LUNGING ATTACK   GOLDENBEARD 21-6202        29   7  1  204 SEA DOGS (1446)
BASHING ATTACK   HORTATOR 1-7791            31  33  3  200 SEA DOGS (1442)
WALL OF STEEL    LONDON QUIREBOY 59-2513    27  11  1  187 CHAPEL ROCK (1352)
SLASHING ATTACK  SNOTMAN 97-2611            21  10  6  150 COLLUSION (1426)
STRIKING ATTACK  BLOODY BRAINLESS 96-2206   26  26  4  140 BLOODY RANDOMNESS (1405)
AIMED BLOW       PRISONER 0118 82--31788    22  54  0  114 DUNGEON CELL 24 (1456)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    OH OHLISH OMINAH 35-3912   14  12  2   50 PHILANTHROPISTS 3 (1395)

The overall popularity leader is GAR & BRILL 38-4252.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was GOLDENBEARD 21-6202.  The ten other most popular fighters were SANDMAN 
97-2610, TAVIS CADFALSON 35-1419, KISSYFUR 67-2187, PORKY PIG 72-5953, MATH OP OWAIN 
35-1418, MAKESHIFT ANCHOR 1-7724, BILGE RAT 51-5334, MISS TEAK 1-8015, HEAD CHEESE 
96-1920, and CADAL 35-1370.

The least popular fighter this week was ABBOTT 14-4131.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were SHEWISH WHALER 18-9272, OH OHLISH OMINAH 35-3912, KARATIA 73-3624, 
KNOTHANDLER 21-6555, PRISONER 0103 82--31803, GAR & BRILL 38-4252, PRISONER 0118 
82--31788, U.S.S. ARIZONA 34-2643, SNOTMAN 97-2611, and PRISONER BG11 99-1620.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
MORDANT(1)           2  2 0  JHANS(36)            1  0 0  DRAGONHEAD(72)       1  0 0  
TOBIR(14)            0  1 0  SIBIKHAS(37)         1  0 0  ERINIKA(73)          0  1 0  
TALCAMA(18)          1  1 0  CLIFFHOME(38)        0  1 0  DWES EG(82)          1  2 0  
SUNSET(21)           0  2 0  TRICORUS(51)         1  0 0  OLD VALAMANTIS(96)   2  0 0  
MONUNTIAL(34)        0  1 0  ILLIS(59)            0  1 0  SHADOW GROVE(97)     2  0 1  
MURSKA(35)           4  3 0  BARIKALA(67)         0  1 0  SOUTH RIDGE(99)      1  1 0  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 HORTATOR 1-7791             31  33  3  200  SEA DOGS (1442)            MORDANT
 ABBOTT 14-4131              19   7  2   51  OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (1444)   TOBIR
 SHEWISH CORSAIR 18-9237     22   8  2  133  SEA DOGS (426)             TALCAMA
 GOLDENBEARD 21-6202         29   7  1  204  SEA DOGS (1446)            SUNSET
 U.S.S. ARIZONA 34-2643      26  19  1  153  D-DAY SQUAD (1449)         MONUNTIAL
 TAVIS CADFALSON 35-1419     41 101  3  199  CHILDREN OF LLYR (1415)    MURSKA

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 PATCH 36-7297               19  14  0   79  SEA DOGS (1450)            JHANS
 BATMUN 37-2634              37  15  0  204  ALL THE MUN'S MEN (355)    SIBIKHAS
 GAR & BRILL 38-4252         68 106  0  116  JUST BECAUSE (1228)        CLIFFHOME
 BILGE RAT 51-5334           21   4  1   72  SEA DOGS (1440)            TRICORUS
 LONDON QUIREBOY 59-2513     27  11  1  187  CHAPEL ROCK (1352)         ILLIS
 KISSYFUR 67-2187            28  16  1  156  ALL-STAR NANA'S (1451)     BARIKALA
 PORKY PIG 72-5953           16   6  2   55  MEAT YOUR MAKER (1439)     DRAGONHEAD
 KARATIA 73-3624             22   6  1  108  KIWI CONNECTION (1453)     ERINIKA
 PRISONER 0118 82--31788     22  54  0  114  DUNGEON CELL 24 (1456)     DWES EG
 HEAD CHEESE 96-1920         44  19  3  253  WHY SELL THIS? (1390)      OLD VALAMANTIS
 SNOTMAN 97-2611             21  10  6  150  COLLUSION (1426)           SHADOW GROVE
 JAMES MADISON 99-1268       27  15  3  217  DEAD PRESIDENTS, YO (1412) SOUTH RIDGE